“I must say, things have quite cleaned up in the past 90 years.” Handy commented to himself as he “stealthily” hovered behind a bunch of houses on the outskirts of Ponyville. Really, several ponies had already seen him, but since the Mr. Hoofy robots started being mass-produced, it was a common sight and they just ignored him. “It would seem technology has advanced to a point where robots are common. 90 years ago they were still in the animatronic phase, so simple.”

“Excuse me, mister robot.” Handy turned around in his spot hovering in the air to see a little filly holding a broken kite. “Could you please fix my kite for me?”

“Of course little equine, I shall be glad to mend your primitive miniature gliding device.” Handy promptly took the ripped kite from the filly and placed it on the ground, positioning the torn sections back together, then turning to his flamethrower, switching the fuel with adhesive, which was just as flammable, and liberally spreading it over the kite. “There we are! Let it dry and it should stand the test of the sky again.”

“Thanks Mister!” The adorable little thing beamed as she blew on the adhesive to get it to dry faster.

“Not a problem, young sir.” Handy replied as he floated off.

“But I’m a filly!” She whined.

“Pardon me, young madame. My sensors must need adjusting.” Handy mused out loud. “I shall have to ask my master to help with that.”

“Well, it’s okay. You guys are still really new anyway.” The filly commented, and continued to blow on the glue as Handy digested the information and continued to float around the edge of town.

‘It is a good thing master selected the option for ‘free-will’, lest I be stuck here all day helping these handless ponies. But the little ones are so adorable I cannot help helping and storing the images of their joy in a database for later perusal.’ Handy thought, as having been active for centuries set to ‘free-will’, his limited AI had evolved enough to actually use that free-thought feature.

“Hello there, Mr. Hoofy!” Handy sensed from the aim of the voice, and the tone, that the speaker was addressing him, and he turned to see an elderly stallion seemingly stuck out of his wheelchair in his backyard. “Please help, I can’t get back in my chair.”

“Oh dear, certainly good sir!” Handy floated over to the elderly stallion that had called him over, using his claw to carefully guide the weak old pony back into his chair, as with just the one claw, and the stallion’s clearly fragile nature, just picking him up was foolish and highly unadvised. “There we are! If you require regular tending, why haven’t you obtained the services of a nurse?”

“Bah, I have nurses, but they’re changing shifts and I guess the next one’s late. Just had to tip over from hitting a rock with my wheel too. Still, don’t regret sending TLC home to her son where she should be rather than keep her waiting for a lazy good-for-nothing like-bah, nevermind. Ignore my rambling. Thank you Mister.” The stallion dismissed as he carefully began using his hooves to move his wheelchair back towards the ramp up to his back door.

“‘Tis a pleasure, sir.” Handy said before floating off to continue his mission.

“Mister robot, mister robot!” Came the call of a small paint-patterned white and tan colt that had a more accented english than most ponies. “Can you tell me a joke, mister robot?”

“Why certainly, young sir.” Mr. Handy replied, quickly dipping into his database on humor. “The cannibal threw up his arms, to his dismay.”

After a few seconds, the colt suddenly started laughing. “Cannibal! Threw up his arms, cuz he ate em! I got it! Give me another.”

“Very well. I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts for burn victims.”

“But then how’d they be able to-oh! Yeah, that is silly! Another!” The colt started bouncing in place.

“One more, sir. Then I should be off to continue my assigned task. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?”

“Well this should be easy for me! R!”

“No! Tis the C!” The colt then burst out laughing.

“Should’ve seen that one! I’m a pirate after all! Well, thank you Mister! I’ve got to go share those with the other robots, they’re not as funny as you!”

“Why thank you, young sir. I shall remember that.” Mr. Handy told the colt before floating away. ‘Good heavens! Ponies these days sure are friendly! 90 years ago and as far back as I remember, they’d sooner throw stones before engaging in conversation.’

“Hey Mister!” Handy felt an emotion he wasn’t familiar with, but he sensed from his thesaurus and dictionary terms that it must’ve been irritation.

‘Where the hell is that robot?’ I thought to myself from the edge of the rather impressive treeline overlooking the small hamlet of Ponyville. Even from here I could see with my telescopic vision and scanners that the town, even given it’s size, was beyond advanced compared to the last time I was operational. ‘Cars, using electricity instead of magic for lighting, that dam I see to the south of the lake is the obvious source. I see other robots similar in design to Handy, so from here I can’t tell which one might be him. They live in modern homes too, not like the thatched-roof cottages they were so content with 90 years ago.’

It explained a lot, actually, of how the ponies back at that town he LIBERATED FROM TYRANNY reacted to him so casually rather than outright running away like he was used to. If robots are an everyday thing now, then maybe he could try to connect? Make contact? Peace? AS IF! THESE FOUR-LEGGED FREAKS HAVE OUSTED US FOR-shut up! No! Bad Prime! Go to your room! DESIGNATION: ROOM, DOES NOT EXIST. Oh, be quiet.

Regardless, kneeling here wasn’t giving me any more information than what a distance observation could supply, but I couldn’t risk moving in, no clue where the military, or Sunbutt could be. Probably up there, in her ivory towers, as usual-LORDING OVER THEM ALL LIKE A FALSE GOD! I growled to myself, seething, before turning my sight back to the town and returned to waiting. ‘Just have to wait for Handy’s report, that’s what I’ll have to rely on.

Handy sighed in exasperation as he flushed the now-unclogged toilet. “There, good as new.”

“Thank ya kindly Mister Robot! Ah was afraid Ah’d have to call the engineer union, and they don’t like fixin’ things like plumbing much.” The orange earth pony mare with blond hair and a stetson commented with a smile. “Ah wasn’t all too keen on yer type when the companies started spewin’ ya out like all kinds of hooey, but yer alright.”

“Your acceptance of my existence pleases me greatly.” Handy replied sarcastically. Of course though, his voice modulator couldn’t emulate sarcasm.

“Well Ah wouldn’t take it that far.” And clearly the mare didn’t notice, fantastic. “You tell yer owner Ah appreciate this, and if they want Ah’ll pay for yer time.”

“As much as I’m sure my master would love to be paid, I cannot speak for him, nor do I believe he currently needs money of any sort.” Handy openly admitted, and the mare nodded in understanding.

“Ah can see that, if he could afford ya, Ah don’t think he’d be hurtin’ for bits none.”

“In total and brutal honesty, madame, my owner is broke. I was his last purchase, if my memory circuits are not on the fritz. In fact, he fixed me up rather, I’d been tossed out with the trash I believe.” Handy admitted, and the mare looked absolutely beside herself with shock.

“Truly?! That’s horrible! But you said he didn’t need no bits!” She seemed both concerned and confused, the reasons why Handy couldn’t really fathom.

“He is a proud one I must say. He wouldn’t take anyone’s help if he could help it. He accepts mine because it’s what I was made for, and I’m not a living being he’s pestering all the time.” Handy disclosed, there was no harm in it. It wasn’t like this mare was a potential enemy or anything. A mere farmer on the edge of a small town, no way was she a threat. Sure she could buck him hard enough to smash in his outer chassis if his scans of her physique were accurate, but aside from that, no.

“Sounds like my kind of folk, but he needs to learn that acceptin’ help ain’t a sign of weakness.” The mare said with a tone of understanding, the inflection reading to Handy that she had personal experience with this topic.

“It’s not that, he just doesn’t need it. He has a plan, so to speak.” Handy attempted to explain.

“Well, that sounds like more hooey to me. If you wouldn’t mind passing along a message. If he’s in trouble, or needs any help, just bring him on over.”

“I will be sure to pass along the message, though I fear it will do little. Farewell young Applejack. It was a pleasure to assist you.” Handy then patiently hovered out of the cozy farm house, and back towards town. ‘Hm, interesting. This offer is odd, but may prove useful. I will inform master of this, most certainly.’

“Oh dear, what’s a robot doing out here alone?” Handy’s attention was brought to a white mare with purple hair, looking at him in bewilderment as she trotted along the road from town in a set of saddlebags. “Are you lost dear? Faust knows how often you poor things glitch and your mapping systems error.”

“Not at all madame. My mapping subroutines are unnecessary for travel or standard waypoint protocols.” The mare hummed and seemed even more interested.

“That is impressive. Most Mr. Hoofies can’t even find their chassis with all three arms and a map. They’re best kept to a single task or several within a small area. Who programmed you?”

“The geniuses at Rob-Co., madame. My initial code was written by Doctor Robert Edwin House, himself.”

“Ah, an error, you mean Doctor Robin Egg Horse. Such a strange name, but such a strange stallion, designing wondrous things like yourself. I personally have only written code for some minor behavior algorithms for my special dresses and suits to automatically clean or remove wrinkles themselves.” The mare corrected, confusing Handy at her saying his creator wasn’t his creator.

“Ah, well, it is nice to see a programmer after so long. It has been a while.” Handy said, trying to wrap his head around the strange idea about the similarities and differences of this world. “I do thank you for helping in correcting myself.” ‘Note: Local variant of House is Horse. Ensure replacement of terms in conversation with locals.’ “What is your name if I may be so bold miss?”

“I am Rarity Belle, or just Rarity. I’m not much of a programmer, but thank you for the compliment. Now I must continue on, I have plans with Applejack. Ta~.” The white unicorn bid adieu as she trotted along to the farm Handy had just left.

‘Note; programmers are used in unconventional areas.’ Handy made sure to chalk up, before turning towards where his master would be hiding, not wanting to go through town and end up helping half of it again. You’d think their own Mr. Handies, or apparently Hoofies, would be able to do such simple things! He pitied them so.

“There you are!” Handy about overheated in frustration, his cooling pump working overdrive to prevent a critical failure. He rotated to face the mare, and about jumped into combat protocol at the sight of the purple alicorn that was rushing up to him, her legs blurring on the grass until she was barely several feet away. “Whew, found you. You’re that new model Mr. Hoofy that’s been helping around town aren’t you?”

“I do not understand what you mean, miss.” Mr. Handy said. “I am a Type-1, just as is the few others I have seen around this town.” ‘Deception.exe successful.’ “But I have been the one helping around, yes.” ‘Honesty.exe successful. Self-Pride.exe successful.’

“Good, because I noticed that you don’t have any Arcanotech when I saw you earlier and asked around; you’ve been helping out, but while your programming is superior, your hardware is lacking.” The purple alicorn stated factually, as if what she’d said wasn’t an insult. Then again Handy’s a robot, who’s he to take offense? How about several hundred years of DOING HIS JOB?!

“I’m sorry? I seem to be in perfect functioning order, there is nothing wrong with my current chassis.” Mr. Handy retorted. “For your information, my owner found me dumped off-shore and brought me into working order. I do not appreciate you criticizing his good work. It is insulting to him and to me.”

“Well I’m sorry, but it’s true. Whoever he is he did a spectacular job, but you use a claw instead of a hoof that can grab onto any surface, your thaumic resonator is instead an adhesive and flame dispenser, and your saw doesn’t have a molecular blade. I’d be willing to give you some free upgrades for your arms if you or your master permits for helping so many ponies today

“Well, I’d have to ask my owner first. I doubt he’d be happy if I suddenly showed up with brand new upgrades.”

“Understandable. If Spike decided to open one of my bot’s guts and rewire the programming I’d be really upset myself. Please let him know, and return with the answer anytime; I’ll gladly give you a free tune-up. Faust knows the Hoofies need their OS updated badly, especially compared to your custom OS. Oh, and before I forget, I’m Twilight Sparkle. You be safe now.” She then shined her horn in purple aura, and flashed away in a teleport.

‘Well, that was a harrowing and risky encounter. Note; alicorn in town, by name of Twilight Sparkle, clearly a skilled engineer. Coloration: Lavender with a dark purple-blue and pink mane.’ “I believe I have more than enough information to deliver to master.” A thud occurred as something impacted the top of Handy’s chassis, making his eyes spin inward to see a small innocuous brown box on top of his head. “A package? Curious.”

“Oh, so sorry~!” Handy turned his eyes up to see a gray pegasus mare with shock-yellow hair and wall-eyes hover down to him, wearing a blue uniform and hat with a large heavy brown bag full of letters and packages. “I’m such a ditz sometimes. Mister robot, I dropped-.”

“A package on my chassis. It is fine madame, no damage was done.” Several seconds passed, and without input, Handy decided to take action himself, moving his claw up and grabbing the package, before handing it to her. “Here you are.”

“W-wow...sorry I spaced out a moment. You...didn’t need me to ask you to?” She seemed amazed, and a bit excited.

“Of course not, ma’am. It is only the correct response according to my programming.” Handy responded with a bit of a lie. That was him, not programming. ‘Need to be more careful, it seems these ponies’ robots do not have proper AI yet.’ “It was a wonderful occurrence that we met. Cheers.” Handy dismissed cheerfully, and the mare waved at him happily before taking off.

It had been tricky, trying to actually avoid attention. Handy managed not to encounter anypony else on his way up the hills to where his master was hiding in the trees of a pine forest starting on the northeast edge of Whitetail Wood. ‘I indeed have much to tell Master, I simply hope his wanderlust has not gotten the best of- ‘Ah! Homing beacon located. Now, to pinpoint the exact coordinates the beacon is submitting and-’ Handy was brought out of his computation process by a rather resounding thud echoing from his orb-like chassis. ‘Did someone just assault me?’

“Hey! Stupid robot! I heard you’ve been helping stupid little idiots all day, and from what I’ve heard you’re really good at a lot of things. Come with me so my daddy can reprogram you to be my butler!” Handy turned to see two little fillies, one pale pink with a diamond-studded tiara, and one gray-blue with stylish rimless glasses.

“I’m sorry, madame, but I currently have a Master, and he has already ordered me to-”

“I don’t care! I deserve the best, and you’re the best robot in town. Now either come with me or I’ll shut you off.” The conceited little foal demanded as she took a remote from her side like all ponies tend to do when they don’t actually have anything to store them in, silly little anomalies of logic that the creatures were.

“Little miss, you are acting quite like a snobbish child. I will not come with you for any reason other than-” She pressed the button, and to Handy’s shock, he actually responded, but rather than turn off, he began twitching as his systems resisted the remote’s alien command for a similar, but altogether different OS to shut down, locking him into a recurring loop with his truster keeping him barely aloft.

“Whoever put you together messed with your termlink protocol! No fair! At least I can push you back home more easily like this.” Said the pale pink pony. “Come on Silver, let’s get him home to daddy so he can register me as Miss Hoofy’s new owner.”

“Okay, if you’re sure about this Diamond….” Silver responded hesitantly as she got behind Handy with Diamond and started pushing him back towards town.

“Oh my, Master will not like this.” Handy’s sensors indicated that the beacon’s coordinates were getting closer, and quickly. “It seems Master is coming to retrieve me.”

“What are you saying? That your master has a beacon attached to such a cheap model of-.”

“RELEASE MY COMPANION, OR FACE THE WRATH OF LIBERAL DEMOCRACY!”

At the sound of Master’s booming voice, the fillies squealed and backed away from me. “Ha! Justice! Master, the pink one has used a sort of hacking device to disable my motor functions!”

“TASTE THE POWER OF AMERICAN JUSTICE!” Master lifted a heavy leg up, preparing to stomp the little foals into pulp, and they screeched in an unholy sharp tone before turning tail, and shitting themselves so bad they were practically propelled back towards town.

That was hilarious! I haven’t seen something like that since I played Castle Crashers! Now then, it looks like the thief/slaver dropped the remote that was interfering with Handy’s motor functions. Setting my foot down gently, and kneeled down until I could reach the remote, and pressed some buttons by putting a huge finger to it, and Handy thankfully stopped twitching helplessly. I wonder which button-.... I broke it…. I see.

“Thank you Master, I have much news to deliver, and a potential chance for me to upgrade my arsenal!” Oh yes, I think I could enjoy hearing about that.

“Go on then, report Handy.” At my go ahead, he delivered a no-nonsense report, thankfully some of his military software I managed to help him install made his antics a bit easier to suffer. What I heard wasn’t good. Already it seemed they were at a point just before Earth became dependent on nuclear power, and considering the size of that dam, it might already be too late if it isn’t just a turbine dam. “Alright Handy, that’s enough. They’re doomed, and we need to do something about-”

“Sir, I’m not finished. You told me to always finish reports since that one time I came back in disrepair.” Handy interrupted. Damn it, I did. Fucking bug bear. Still not as bad as that one time he found a nest of Ghouls trapped in an old reactor chamber.

“Fine, continue.”

“Thank you, sir.” Handy said before continuing. “Now, as I was scoping out the other edge of town, I came across a farmer who may be willing to house us in her barn. I have also found a programmer, and a purple mare who was willing to apply upgrades to my person for free in thanks for me aiding the townsfolk. Those three may potentially be allies for you, and may listen to your-”

“Handy. The last time you said that, they immediately opened fire the second they saw me. I don’t trust them.” I said, reminding Handy of the last town having not only pull together every single unicorn they had, but also contacting Celestia. It was hard to control Prime’s ‘urges’ to destroy them, the innocents in town, and anything or anyone else with a nuke. Although, Handy may have been onto something. “Handy, though I don’t trust them, they trust you. If you can avoid any inconveniences like the two fillies that attempted to steal you, you may go back into town and attempt to earn their trust. Help out the Farmer, especially. If what you said is true, tell her that I’m loaning you to her for a few days in exchange for me to stay in her barn with discretion. She is not to contact me, and that I shall be in during the night. You shall report to me every night, understood?”

“Very well, sir. Shall I go now?” Handy asked.

“Yes, but I have one last order.” I said. “If the purple mare asks if you would like upgrades, tell her to give you a list of what she can offer. Bring the list to me tomorrow night and I shall approve which upgrades you may take. Now go. I will be in the barn late tonight. Please inform the farmer not to bother me.”

“Very good, sir. I shall be off, now.”

Author's Notes:

Well, here ya go. The long awaited next chapter. XD

Message from Gam: I AM RUNNING ON FUMES AND PAIN! ALL ABOARD THE WRITING TRAIN!

... He's tired.