Author's Notes:

No idea why I've been suddenly motivated to write something after so long, but here it is. Short and mushy Twi romance I had been wanting to write for like over a year.

"Good evening, Anonymous."

You are Anonymous, the only human in Equestria, and Princess Luna is currently sitting on your bed.

"We hate to bother thee at this time, Anonymous, but we have a special favor to ask of thee."

You raise an eyebrow, and nod. "Sure. I'm listening, Princess."

"We need thee to travel to the residence of our beloved subject Twilight Sparkle, and make certain of her well-being."

You raise an eyebrow. "Uh... so you're asking me to go check on her? Like, right now?"

"That is correct," she says. "She has not left her home in several days, and we think she is in need of thy friendship."

"Uh... okay?"

You're not quite sure why, but something about Luna always made you feel uneasy.

"Can we count on thee, dear Anonymous?"

You shrug. "Sure, I'll go see how she's doing."

"We are most grateful for thy help," the Princess of the Night nods, spreading her wings as her horn lights up. "Farewell, Anonymous," she says, teleporting out of your bedroom.

You blink a couple of times and shake your head. "Man... oh well, I needed to grab a couple of books anyway."

Opening your front door, you step into the night, humming a sick riff to yourself.

The walk to Twilight Sparkle's library is pretty uneventful. The night is still young, but ponies aren't nocturnal creatures and most of them are already sleeping. Ponyville is a very calm place at this time... some would call it eerie, but you call it peaceful.

You knock on the wooden door, hoping not to wake up the purple unicorn. But then it's probably too early for her to be asleep... you lived with her for a few weeks when you first arrived in this strange world of diminutive equines, and she would always stay up until the very early morning, reading about shit you can't even begin to comprehend. In your defense, magic is weird, but you gotta give her credit, she's definitely smarter than you.

A young voice comes from inside. "It's open!"

You shrug and yank the door open, glancing at the little dragon sitting in a corner with a large book.

You wave a hand in his direction. "Hey Spike."

"Anon," he murmurs. You walk up to him and look at his book.

"What you reading?"

"Stuff," he replies. You take a look at the cover and raise an eyebrow.

"Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Cock? ...uh, well okay then."

"Hm-hm," he 'says', engrossed in his book. You shrug and walk away, and up the stairs. You never really disliked Spike, but he always seemed weird to you. Not weird as in 'different', but as in 'dude, the fuck'.

You knock on Twilight's bedroom door, and a few seconds later, a purple pony wearing an equally purple nightgown opens it.

"Oh, good evening Anon."

"'Sup Twi."

She walks back to her bed and sits on it, closing a book. "What brings you here?"

You follow her and stand next to her. "Well, I wanted to see how you were doing, if everything was alright... I mean, I haven't seen you in a few days, and I heard that you haven't left your home in a while."

She gives you a weak smile. "Oh, no... I guess I haven't."

"Why?" you ask, starting to think that Luna was right, and that there is indeed something wrong with her.

"I don't..." she trails off, looking away. "I don't know, I just needed to be alone I guess."

You frown. "Twilight, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she answers as fast as she can. "Nothing, it's really... nothing."

"I'm starting to know you, Twi. I know there's something wrong with you."

She looks at you briefly, opening her mouth and closing it again before lowering her head.

"Come on, tell me what's bothering you. We're friends, aren't we?"

She looks up at you and sighs. "We... of course. I'm sorry, Anon. It's just that, it was Hearts and Hooves Day a few days ago."

You nod, inviting her to continue.

"And... you know."

"No, I don't. What happened?"

She looks away again, before speaking flatly. "Nothing."

"What do you mean, nothing?"

"I mean nothing! Nopony asked me out!" she says angrily, pushing you away with a hoof. Being a marshmallow cartoon horse, it doesn't do much other than being cute, but you recoil anyway for dramatic effect.

"Nopony asked me out either, you know."

"You were out drinking with Rainbow Dash," she replies dryly.

"Yeah, so? Dash and I are out drinking like, every other night."

She doesn't answer, leaving place to a few minutes of awkward silence. You sit down on her bed next to her, and hear her sniffle.

You lay a hand on her hoof and look into her eyes. "Look Twi, why don't we go for a walk, you and me?"

"W-what? At this hour? Why?"

You shrug. "Dunno. It's nice and peaceful outside."

"I don't know..." she looks around, as if trying to find an excuse.

You grin and wrap your arms around her, lifting her up. She gasps and starts flailing her forelegs around. "ANON! PUT ME DOWN!"

You walk out of her room and down the stairs with the thrashing unicorn still firmly held against your chest. "PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!"

"If you really wanted, you could just teleport out of my grasp," you state flatly, causing her to calm down immediately as realization hits her.

"I hate you," she pouts.

You ruffle her mane and walk outside, ignoring Spike who's still reading his book and... oh God. You think you heard 'butt' and 'stallion' amidst his moans, but you really don't want to stick around to make sure.

Eventually you decide to put Twilight down, and point towards the general direction of the Everfree Forest. "C'mon Book Horse, I got something I wanna show you."

"What is it?" she asks with a hint of curiosity in her voice.

"You'll see."

A few minutes later, you both stand on the edge of the forest, next to a very large (by Ponyville standards) structure.

Twilight looks up and raises an eyebrow. "Well, it's your house. What about it?"

You point towards the thick foliage marking the entrance to the Everfree. "We need to go deeper."

Somewhere at this point in time, a pink horse groaned in her sleep, muttering something about really shitty references.

After trudging through the forest for a few minutes, you both stand before a small clearing. There is a large green tent and an unlit campfire, as well as a fallen tree trunk to serve as a bench.

Twilight Sparkle stops walking, looking around her in a mix of awe and confusion. You feel a twinge of pride, you technically 'built' this place, and you must admit that it looks great when bathed in the moonlight. Luna outdid herself tonight... like every night, you guess. Goddamn she's as good at her craft as she is at unnerving you.

"What is this place?"

"This, my dear Twilight, is my little piece of heaven in this strange world full of colorful little horses," you say mockingly. "You ponies can get a little too friendly sometimes, and you don't always seem to grasp the concept of solitude. Similarly, the meaning of the words 'get the fuck out of my house' seems to elude most of you. So, when I want to be alone for whatever reason, I come here."

"Woah... it's beautiful, Anon. Does anypony else know about this place?"

"Nope, you're the first."

Well, technically that's not true. Zecora knows about this place, mostly because of the argument you both had. You thought it was funny, but as it turned out, she didn't want to see a sign that read 'DEAD ZEBRA STORAGE' whenever she walked by your little camp. Bloody uncultured horses, you say.

You start a fire (and by 'start a fire' you really mean 'mash stones together for ten minutes until Twilight gets bored and does it herself with magic') and sit down on the large log, patting the spot next to you. The lavender mare sits beside you and sighs happily, looking around her, still amazed at how calm the night is, even without a stack of books lying around.

"This is truly beautiful, and peaceful... you were right."

"Yup," you reply, looking into her eyes. You can see the flames dancing in her large deep violet irises... goddamn, she's beautiful.
For a pastel midget horse, that is.

"Twilight?"

"Yes?"

"You have absolutely gorgeous eyes."

She blushes and looks away. "T-thanks... you too."

You bring a hand to your green, featureless face and scratch your black question mark, shrugging.

"So tell me, why would you think you were the only one alone on Hearts and Hooves Day?"

"I... I didn't say that."

"You clearly implied it, though."

"I... well, because I was."

"Nah mate."

"What? Anon, I know what my friends are up to. Applejack spent the entire day in her barn with some... stallion!"

You suppress a chuckle. "Yup, that she did."

"Ah, you see? She-"

"She spent the whole day in the barn with Big Mac, trying to handle an infestation of... shit, I don't even know. Twittermites or something?"

"What?" her eyes widen, before focusing on yours, then looking back at the fire. "So she wasn't... you know?"

"Well, you can't be sure. I mean, it's Applejack we're talking about."

She jabs you in the arm with a hoof. This time you feel it, and let out a snort. "Sorry."

She lets out a little laugh, and jabs you again, this time more playfully. "And what about Fluttershy?"

"She had a date I think, but it was really shitty."

"What happened?"

"I'm not really sure, but she showed up at my house the morning after, asking me if beating up Thunderlane would be my fetish."

"Oh," Twilight says flatly. "That bad?"

"Apparently."

She shifts a little closer to you, her eyes still intensely focused on the dancing flames.

"And Rarity? Spike said he, uh... heard her."

"Heard her?"

"Yeah... like, accidentally, you know?"

"Oh, so he stalked her, broke into her boutique and listened behind her door?"

"...yes."

"Well, she spent the whole day in her room. Went through three bottles of wine and a whole crate of scented candles. She also asked me if I had extra batteries."

Twilight stares at you. "Anon... Anon! That's not... how do you even know this stuff?"

"You know that most of you ponies see me like some kind of confidant, right? Always telling me weird shit about their lives... something about how I'm technically an alien, so I'm kind of a neutral party and don't have the right to judge them or some shit like that? I guess they think they can tell me stuff that would be shocking to other ponies or something."

"I... guess. So ponies tell you a lot of secret things?"

You frown, remembering some of the shit Princess Celestia herself told you. You really could have lived a long and happy life without the need to know what happens when mixing vaginal secretions and cake batter.

"You could say that," you say flatly, idly stroking her mane.

"And Pinkie? I don't think I ever saw Pinkie showing interest in, well, you know..."

"Nah, she was baking. What with all the ponies offering cupcakes and muffins and shit to their significant other... someone's gotta do the baking, you know?"

"I suppose... and Rainbow Dash? You were with her, right?"

"Yup. Drinking away her sorrows... the struggle is real."

Twilight looks at you, a concerned expression on her face. "Her sorrows?"

"Yeah, she was shot down by Bulk Biceps. Something about how she doesn't even raise heavy objects against the force of gravity."

The two of you share a laugh, before remembering that, well, poor Rainbow Dash. You make a mental note to see what you can do to hook her up later.

"I think she's better off alone, though. That pony is weird," Twilight says, scrunching her face.

"He sure is. He's going out with Derpy, last I heard."

"Really?"

"According to him, she's the only one with a flank that can withstand his onslaught. His words."

"Too much information, Anon."

"See what I have to put up with whenever ponies talk to me?" you chuckle.

"Urgh... still, Derpy has a nice flank," she adds quickly, a faint blush forming on her longing face.

"Yeah..."

You both look at the stars, sharing a silent but intense >tfw moment.

Suddenly, Twilight shivers, before letting out a long yawn. You wrap an arm around her and bring her closer to you. "You alright Twi?"

"I'm just a little tired, I guess... it's pretty late."

"You want me to walk you back home?" you ask.

"Hm... the Moon is always more beautiful around midnight, for some reason..." she trails off, completely ignoring your previous proposition.

"Yup, it's really a sight to behold..." you trail off as well, sighing heavily. "Hey Twilight..."

"Yes?" she turns her gaze to you.

"You know, when I first arrived here, I was... alone and afraid."

She nods, staring at you intensely.

"But then, you found me," you continue. "And you took me in."

"Anon, I... I tied you up and threw you in my basement after freaking out when I realized you were immune to magic."

You chuckle, remembering that particular moment pretty vividly. You broke free within minutes and grabbed a big ass wrench, walked back upstairs and threatened her while she kept trying every spell she could think of, none of them affecting you. For some reason, even after you told her that you were the sickest bloke she would ever meet, and that she should round up her homeboys and prepare for a proper rumble, she didn't try to back away. Princess Celestia herself eventually appeared out of nowhere to intervene and separate the two of you.

"That wasn't the greatest first impression, was it?"

"Nah... but you fed me. You sheltered me."

"You've always been a little chubby, and you tower over everything, including the princesses. You hardly needed food or shelter."

Ignoring her (accurate) statements, you continue. "You helped me integrate into pony society. You taught me what it was like to have a friend. A real friend. Someone you can always count on, and-"

"Somepony."

"Goddammit, Twi. I'm pouring my fucking heart out to you and you're ruining everyth-"

You're cut off by a pair of lavender lips pressing against your own. Unable to process the current turn of events, you close your eyes and let out a small moan, before instinctively kissing back. She breaks the kiss, and you take a few seconds to acknowledge what happened.

"Woah."

"Anon, I'm so sorry, I..." the purple mare instantly looks down, avoiding eye contact.

You reach for her mane, grabbing the back of her head and bringing her lips to yours, this time using your other hand to caress her cheek. She doesn't fight it, happily moaning against your lips. There's no tongue, there's no lust, there's just... emotion.

The two of you part lips again, and you gently take her hoof into your hand, looking deep into her eyes.

"Twilight?"

"Yes, Anon?"

"Would you like to go inside?" you ask with a grin, gesturing to the tent.

"I think I'd like that," she replies playfully.

Hours later, the two of you are lying peacefully in your glorious human-sized sleeping bag. You still have her hoof in your hand, and her head is resting on your chest, her soft breathing lulling you. Looking outside, you see the Moon... looking larger than usual.

Did she know?

The craters, which seem to have rearranged themselves in the shape of a heart, tell you what you were starting to suspect at this point.

She knew.