"So who is your worst friend?" Scootaloo asked.

"Worst friend?" Nopony parroted.

"You know, your WORST friend."

"What's a worst friend?"

Well," Scootaloo focused, "You have a best friend right? That pony you connect the deepest with, the pony you act yourself the most around. The one you're naturally want to hang out with all the time."

"Of course." Nopony smiled.

"So who's your best friend?" Scootaloo smiled back.

"My sister!"

"Family doesn't count."

"What? Why not?"

"Come on, that's what ponies say when they're too lame to make any friends. You have friends besides your sister, right?"

"..."

"Wow, really?" Scootaloo shook her head. "Man, that's sad."

"What's a man?" Nopony frowned. "Also, I do too have friends," he huffed, "After all, we're friends, aren't we?"

"You're the strange, dirty stallion who decided to sleep in my box."

"Exactly, we're friends!"

"Right." Scootaloo shook her head. "Anypony else besides me?"

"Uhhhhh..."

"Anypony you spent a lot of time with? You know them really well?" Scootaloo made a gesture with her hoof.

"..."

"Oh man..." Scootaloo sighed.

"Alright big shot, who's your best friend? Consider how close you and the other two crusaders are, I imagine you'll have a hard tim-"

"Sweetie Belle."

"Wow, that was fast. Not even a moment of hesitation there. I mean, really? No chance at all Appleblo-"

"Sweetie Belle."

"I mean, she's fit from working on a farm and you're into sports stuff, I would think you'd relate to her more tha-"

"Sweetie Belle."

"Look, I honestly thought Sweetie was the third wheel in the grou-"

"Sweetie Belle."

"Don't feel bad for Applebloom at all?"

"No."

...

"Well," Nopony cleared his throat, "At least you know who your best friend is."

"So who's your worst friend?" Scootaloo questioned.

"You never said what a worst friend was."

"Oh you know," Scootaloo shrugged, "That pony you only hang out with when you're in a group if you can help it. You have to keep telling yourself 'I like this pony,' whenever they annoy you. You're very careful with what you say to this pony out of fear of upsetting them because they get really annoying when they're upset. You make fun of them behind their back. You would hang out with this pony over a stranger, but nopony else you know. They're your worst friend."

Nopony hummed to himself.

Let's see... Only hang out in groups, have to remind yourself you appreciate them, careful what you say...

...

"You thought of somepony didn't you?" Scootaloo said with a smug grin.

"N- no!" Nopony stuttered.

It was ridiculous, there's no way Twilight is his worst friend. Nopony likes Twilight Sparkle, she saved his sister, is his precious stu-

"You're telling yourself why you like them~." Scootaloo sang.

"Shut up!" Nopony growled.

Sure he only calls her up nowadays when trouble's afoot, but the two of them are busy. I mean, he guards his words around her out of necessity, he's her teacher and... and... Man, Twilight can be neurotic.

"... I think Twilight Sparkle is my worst friend." Nopony mumbled.

"You and Twilight Sparkle are friends?" Scootaloo questioned.

"Long story." He dismissed. "Okay fine, who is your worst fri-..." He stopped.

"What?" Scootaloo frowned.

Nopony had the most evil grin on his face.

"W- what?!?" Scootaloo scowled.

"I know who your worst friend is~..." Nopony sang the same tune Scootaloo sung to him.

"What? No way!" Scootaloo scoffed. "...Who?"

"Rainbow Dash!"

"What?!?"

"You only hang out with her in groups," He pretended to check off a list, "You keep telling yourself you love this pony, especially when she cancels on you, constantly. You're very careful with what you say to her, and you complain about her to your friends whenever she tells you she'll teach you to fly later.'"

Scootaloo opened her mouth to respond, closed it, and then lied down on her side and curled up into a little ball.

"Scoots? You okay? Scoots?.. Huh, usually you break my brain by the end of the day."

Nopony stopped to think about that.

"What has my life become?.."