The Rule of King Cocoon of the Changelings

by Hooves Like Jagger

First published 19th of May, 2012

A human finds himself in Equestria as the monarch of a changeling swarm.

I want to visit Equestria the same way a historian wants to visit the past. It would be cool just to look around, but I don't wanna run around touching everything or stay forever. Life is pretty good for me, so ditching it all for something else wasn't very high on my list of priorities. One bonk on the head later though, I've got a bunch of parasites calling me their king. I don't want to be king, though! All I really want is to go home.

To Whomever It May Concern...

If you're reading this, it means that you're a human. At least, it means you were once a human, but maybe you still are. One thing is for sure though: you've been displaced. This is not Earth. This is not Kansas. This is not even Sparta. This is Equestria. If you know what that is, I'm sure you're very excited. If you don't know what it is, just know that the sentient beings here are ponies.

Your current location is just below the city of Canterlot, capitol city of Equestria and home of their monarch Princess Celestia. It's just a short hike from here to the main road that takes you right into the city. The city is huge, so you really can't miss it. If you are a species of creature that isn't terribly threatening looking, i.e. pony, unicorn, pegasus, gryphon, diamond dog, minotaur, or human, feel free to visit. Unfortunately, I've been changed into a creature that would make stepping into pony society in Celestia's broad daylight tantamount to suicide.

However, if you choose to forgo the big city, there are plenty other options out there. You could follow the river and train tracks south to Ponyville, travel due west for several days and end up in Appleloosa, or head to Manehattan in the north-east. I've chiseled signposts like this in different places across Equestria, hoping to help anybody who ends up in my situation. English is spoken here, but the written language is way different. I was surprised to find that out, but there are far more surprising things in this world than the difference in writing.

If you're reading this, I urge you to seek me out. We don't belong here, and we should not continue to dwell here. If we combine our efforts, I'm sure we'll be able to find a way back to our homes. I've been here for quite some time, but I haven't been successful thus far. Granted, I've been a bit distracted, but survival is as necessary as escape. It would be good to have help, so I am constantly on the lookout for humans as well.

If a changeling swarm attacks or captures you, tell them you are a human. Your safety will be guaranteed and they will bring you to me. Together we will find a way out of this place. If the thought of teaming up with changelings is not desirable to you, I issue this warning:

Abandon any foolish ambitions or fancies you have for this world. Do not seek out the Elements of Harmony. Do not seek out Princess Celestia. If you step forth to oppose me, knowing I am a human, I will not hesitate to devour your being.

Sincerely,

Cocoon, King of the Changelings

1st: Going Squash

Most stories are best told from the beginning, but I'm going to start off by describing how I'm feeling right now: nearly dead. I'm on my hands and knees, roasting in the sun in some clearing of a god forsaken forest. I am absolutely certain I am going to die, partly due to circumstance and partly due to my own stupidity.

So why start there? Well, when a man is on death's doorstep he tends to reflect on what got him in this situation. Now, how did I get here? How did I end up in Equestria? It's quite simple really: I got hit in the head.

Seriously! I was deconstructing a bed loft when it happened. I'd just propped one end of the bed frame up against the wall, then I turned around to pick up a screw I'd dropped on the ground. Last thing I remember is turning my head slightly to see the bed frame falling towards my face. When I came to, I was in Equestria.

I keep hoping this is some sort of coma induced dream and dying will bring it to an end. The pain, the weakness, and the burning sun all feel way too real though. Curse my luck. How is it I end up in Equestria, turn into a changeling, and die all in the same day? Maybe I should have listened to those darned bugs.

But now I'm just confusing you. Let me bring you up to speed...

My eyes flitted open. My head, surprisingly, didn't hurt. On the other hand, I kind of felt like I'd just come to after undergoing anesthesia for surgery. I felt flimsy, numb, and my vision was really blurry. There was also a persistent buzzing in my ear. Buzzing, hissing, something that sounded like people talking. It was way too much activity for me to put up with right now. With a good deal of effort, I managed to flail my arm at them and moan a complaint. That'll get them to shut up.

Nope. I'm pretty sure the number of voices just increased. I still can't see, but I can make out black figures gathering around me. I also seem to be staring up at the sky. Last I remember I was in the fourth floor of the dormitory, so why am I outside? Did someone call an ambulance?

I feel my body being lifted. Whoever these people are lifting me up, it feels like their doing it with their fists. I can't really complain, I was starting to feel uncomfortable on my back. They prop me up against something. I think it's a log. I muster up the energy to move my hand and feel out what they've put me against. It is a log, fancy that.

My vision is slowly becoming less and less blurry. That's odd. Why do the people around me look so much like...

"Changelings!" I'm on my feet way faster than I should have been. My legs turn to gelatin and I topple forwards. I would have gone face first into the dirt, but the buzzing insects catch me before I fall. They help me back into a seated position against the log.

Okay, this has gotta be some kind of weird dream. Changelings only fictional creatures in My Little Pony. If they're here that would mean I'd somehow ended up in Equestria, but that's ridiculous. When I look though, all around me are hundreds of little, black changelings. Most of them are buzzing about the sky, but a handful of them are down here on the ground with me. One changeling in particular, wearing an extra, dull violet shell on his back and head, is standing between my legs looking up at me.

Uh... hold on. Are those my legs? They do seem attached to my body... but...

"Yikes!" I try to stand up again, but my legs wobble and I nearly crash sideways. Once again, the changelings stop me and set me back down.

Usually, I am covered in kind of tan and pinkish skin like so many others of the human species are. Today, I seem to have ditched the whole skin thing for what looks like thick, hard, black exoskeleton. I bring my hand around so I can look at it.

Sweet Nonspecific Deity...

After a few experimental openings and closings of my hand, I have indeed concluded that I'm covered in hard exoskeleton now. There's a green, almost translucent looking band around my midsection where my abs would be. Also on the list of new things, my fingers and toes end in plated claws now. As far as I can see, my whole body is completely transformed. The only thing I can't see is my face, but something tells me that's changed too.

"What the heck is this?" I asked the armored changeling before me, pointing to my body. I feel really stupid asking a changeling about all this, but there isn't anyone else around to ask.

"That is your torso, your majesty," the changeling hissed. Well, I'm glad we cleared that mystery up.

... Uh... hold the phone...

"What did you call me?"

"Your majesty, your majesty," the changeling echoed. Yep, that's what I thought he said.

"Uh... who do you think I am?" I questioned further.

"Your majesty, your majesty," this bug was beginning to sound like a broken record.

"No, no, no, no," I waggled a finger at him, "I am not your leader or anything like that. Isn't Queen Chrysalis your leader?"

"The Old Queen is no longer here," the changeling explained, "You are our leader now, your majesty."

"Wait, what happened to Chrysalis?" I'd watched enough of My Little Pony to understand that Queen Chrysalis was the presumed matriarch of the changelings. Last I saw of her, she was flying into the wild blue yonder after being defeated by Cadence and Shining Armor. I can't say for sure that this Equestria had the same timeline of events from the show, but the first thought in my mind was that they'd lost her after that explosion.

"We don't know," the changeling admitted, "We thought she was you."

"Excuse me?" even if you're a bug, how do you mistake a black, cavity-ridden alicorn for a human being? I guess we do have the same color scheme now, but still that's absolutely ridiculous.

"Changelings can detect their leader from far off. We were separated from the Old Queen Chrysalis, but we followed our senses here. We did not find her, but we did find you, your majesty."

"Okay," I processed what I'd just heard, "But just because you found me instead of her doesn't make me your King."

"We sense that you are our King, your majesty. That is all we need to know," I was becoming increasingly aware of how simple minded these changelings are. I looked back down at my hand. After a few moments of thought, I came to an interesting conclusion.

"Am I a changeling?" the question got the first change in facial expression I'd seen from the changeling. The question obviously caught him off guard and the other changelings started whispering amongst themselves as well.

"Yes... your majesty," he eventually responded, strangely resolute on the "your majesty" part. I only nodded in response. That's all I needed to confirm my suspicions.

"Okay then! I'll see you all later then!" the changelings backed off as I began to stand. My legs were still a bit wobbly, but balancing became easier once I spread my wings out.

I glanced behind me.

Sure enough, I had a pair of large, tattered, translucent wings on my back. With my new resolve though, this didn't bother me even in the slightest. Of course I had wings! Makes perfect sense. Careful step by careful step, I began wandering towards the edge of the clearing I was in. I must be in a forest of some type, because all I can see are big leafy trees, little skinny trees, and more trees of different kinds. I wandered out of the clearing and into this forest.

"Where are we going, your majesty?" I ignored his question. I turned around to see he entire swarm of changelings was still behind me.

"Do you have something I can look at myself in, like a mirror?" I asked. The changeling turned to the rest of the swarm to consort with them. Soon enough, Two changelings flew up to me and promptly began throwing up a green sludge between the two of them. It was pretty gross. They flew upwards and I watched the sticky sludge thin out, turning into a glossy and reflective surface. I watched as a very interesting looking being looked back at me.

Oh, that is me... I guess.

Indeed, my body was covered in black exoskeleton, save for a green band around my abdominal region and a sort of green collar that had sprouted around my neck. I reached up and touched it. It was weird touching a body part I never had before. I hadn't taken note of it before, but I wasn't stark naked. My lower regions were covered by a pair of faded shorts that looked like they'd seen much better days. I take a quick peek inside to confirm a few things. Most shocking of all the developments was my face by far. I haven't shaved in ages, so my beard, mustache, and unkempt hair combination normally made me look about twenty years older. All my hair, beard and all, had turned into a silky blue material that made even more of a mess across my face. I looked positively ancient. No one would ever guess I was just under twenty. My eyes were now blue, with a milky, white bead in the middle. I opened my mouth, revealing rows of jagged teeth and two sharp fangs. I ran my forked tongue across their sharp edges. I lifted my new hair and looked at my ear. The top was longer and ended in two spikes. I stepped back and took a good look at myself.

I look pretty awesome.

I strike a few poses, observing myself from every angle. I throw a few experimental punches. My body is surprisingly lithe and quick. I hope up and down a few times. Being a runner, my legs are pretty darn strong, but now that my body is so light I could probably jump over myself. I take a fighting pose against my mirror image as the changelings watch in silence. I bring my hand to my hip, drumming my fingers on an imaginary holster. I draw my finger gun and point it at my reflection.

"Bang!" to my surprise, every changeling in the imaginary line of fire scatters. I half expect a bullet to fly out of my finger just based on their reaction. The armored changeling looks like he's about to have a heart attack.

"Your majesty, I would ask you to be careful where you point your horns like that, if that is acceptable," he whimpered, afraid for a reason I cannot even begin to comprehend.

"Horns?" I look down at my hand. Fingers do kind of look like horns. Come to think of it, every changeling has a horn. No such protrusion exists on my head, so maybe my fingers are horns.

Just out of curiosity, I turn away from the changelings and point my finger at a tree. I can't even begin to imagine how magic works, so I just wing it. I imagine power gathering in my finger, but nothing happens. I concentrate on my finger with all my might. Still nothing. I try thrusting my finger forward repeatedly. Zilch. I glare at the tree I'd been targeting. For a while I just stared at it, hoping something would come to me. In one last attempt, I pointed my finger at the tree. My brain commanded my finger to touch the tree, hard.

Much to my surprise, a sickly green bolt shoots out of my finger and blasts a hole into the tree. I stare at my finger for a moment while the changelings applaud the display.

"Very good, your majesty," the armored changeling congratulated me, "It has been a while since our last feeding, so I would suggest yo-"

I wasn't listening. I began blasting trees willy-nilly. Once I'd gotten it figured out, it was pretty darn easy to blast things, not to mention fun! After a felling quite a few of the trees before me, I felt satisfied with myself.

"This is the coolest dream ever," I squealed, clapping my hands together. With that, I continued to wander deeper into the forest.

"Dream, your majesty?" the armored changeling buzzed right up next to me. It was odd having a creature the size of a fully grown English bulldog hovering right next to me, but anything is possible in a dream.

"That's right," I nodded resolutely, putting a little skip in my step and blasting a tree across the way, "I hit my head, so this is obviously some sort of weird dream I'm having as a result."

"Very good, your majesty," the changeling doesn't seem to grasp what I've told him, but he's just a figment of my imagination. "What about feeding, your majesty?"

"Yeah feeding, whatever," I yawned, blasting away a twig that lay in my way. All this changeling stuff was making me tired.

"Your majesty, I don't think you should be so reckless with your energy," the changeling warned me. I spun around and faced him, and as a result I also faced the other hundreds of changelings that had been following me.

"I'm the King, right?"

"Yes, your majesty."

"Cool. So, your King commands you all to buzz off!" with that, I waved them off and plodded deeper into the forest.

"How do we 'buzz off', your majesty?"

"It means leave me alone!" I yelled back at them. I didn't hear a response, but I listened as the buzzing grew fainter and fainter behind me. I yawned again and sent a green bolt into the sky. I didn't know why I was so tired all of a sudden. I also felt really hungry. What do changelings eat, anyway?

"Oh yeah, love," I snickered. I don't know exactly how one feeds on love, but I know it has a lot to do with changing into someone else. It couldn't be too hard, could it? With all the changelings there seem to be, a little love must go a long way. This was all a dream though, so there was no point in trying to riddle everything out. I just continued wandering through the forest, hoping a plate of apples would eventually magically appear.

And now here we are, with me dying in the forest. Seriously. After breaking off from the swarm, I just kept walking and getting hungrier and hungrier. Now I can barely move, reduced to a crawl across the forest floor. It's all thanks to my idiotic spree of shooting off all of those magic bolts. Even if I hadn't, who knows how far I would have made it.

I don't know what I did to deserve this fate. I worked hard at running, I worked hard at college, I was good to my friends, so I don't know what I did wrong. Maybe fate had nothing to do with it. Maybe it just happened and I handled this all very poorly. Even if this was a dream, I should have tried to stay alive.

I don't think I can go on much longer. I can't even keep crawling now. I don't even know where I'm crawling to. It's not like I know where I am. I should just close my eyes and resign myself to... death?

Something smells good. Something smells so good I get up onto my feet and shuffled towards it. The very smell fills me up with energy, but it fills me up with something else as well. I feel a primal urge rising inside me. I know now it's food I smell. Quietly, I creep up on what smells like a feast.

There, by some bushes, is a stallion. He appears to be taking a number two. I memorize everything about him immediately. Medium build, yellow coat, brown mane, green eyes, and a wrench on his flank. I slink away from him, following the scent of food elsewhere. Taking a deep whiff of the air, I instinctively course what magic is left in me through my brain and back into my body. I command my body to turn into what I just saw.

The transformation is not gradual or pretty. Pain courses through my body as green energy crackles across my hard shell. My shell turns into fur. My hands and feet turn to hooves. I begin plodding on all fours as my face warps into a muzzle and my beard is sucked back into my face. The transformation drains me though, and I collapse just as I reach my quarry.

"Oh, darling!" I blink my eyes and look up. There is a mare standing over me. She's light blue, with a deeper blue mane and turquoise eyes. More importantly, she smells absolutely delicious. "Are you okay?" she sweeps my limp body into her hooves. Lighting courses through my body. All of my senses are instantly back online as her love empties out of her and into my body. I've only scratched the surface though, nibbling on the edges of the love she's putting out. There is more deep inside her. I tilt my head and look up into her eyes. She looks back into mine, her gaze full of tenderness and care.

It tastes so good.

I command my eyes to steal her love and they do. I watch as her irises turn green and her expression dims. As her grip on me gets weaker, I get stronger. She nearly tumbles over, but I catch her and reverse our roles. I drain it out, all of it. All that sweet, succulent love is sustaining my body. When she loses the scent of food, I let her drop to the ground. She's not dead, as I can see her breathing, but she's out cold.

"Honey!" a stallion calls. He enters the clearing where he left his love. She's standing there, gazing at him with hungry eyes. "Are you ready for round two?" he asks. I smile.

"Yep!" his love was mine the moment he looked into my eyes. I'm not hungry anymore, but I can't just pass up such a wondrous feast can I? His love tastes just as wonderful as hers did. It's funny, that he thinks I'm actually her. I just look like her right now, that's all there is to it. How can your love be so strong if you're fooled so easily? I don't care, in fact I'm glad things are this way. It makes having such a good meal so easy. To think, I was rolling over to die not five minutes ago! All the time I was starving, these two were romping about with so much love inside them! This is just desserts for their selfishness! The laws of justice dictate I shall drink until the very last drop!

The scent of food vanishes and I returned to my senses. I wish I hadn't though.

"Great... now I feel bad..." I grumbled, but only out of guilt. Another, more relieving wave of green energy passes over my body and I return to my changeling form. Other than feeling guilty, I feel absolutely wonderful. Physically, I feel like I have the energy to run straight up a mountain. Love is some potent stuff.

I went ahead and stowed the unconscious stallion in the bushes where I hid the mare. I didn't even have to touch the stallion to drain his love. I was packing some seriously dangerous equipment. I felt bad for the two ponies I'd used as a meal because it's really unfortunate what's happened to them. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. My remorse is somewhat deadened by the fact that if I hadn't used them like that I'd be dead. Hopefully they just wake up with bad headaches or something. I'd feel really bad if I killed them.

My next thought was what to do next. I was overflowing with energy now, but I wasn't about to throw it away like earlier. I was much smarter now, and the smart me says I shouldn't stick around here. Somebody, or somepony, might come looking for these lovers soon enough. Unless these two were star-crossed lovers living out their days in peace out alone in a cottage in the woods, their presence here indicated that there was civilization nearby. I looked around me, hoping to catch a glimpse of something through the trees. It was hopeless though. There wasn't a path anywhere or a building in sight. If only I could see over the trees.

Oh wait, I can fly.

Now, I realize there is a huge difference between having wings and being able to fly, but I'm a changeling now and changelings can fly. That makes sense, right? I unfolded my wings and flapped them a bit experimentally. They were so thin and full of holes, I seriously began to doubt having flight capabilities.

I began flapping them faster as I crouched down, preparing to leap into the air. I watched as the grass around me was blown about by the gale I was stirring up. With one salute to the good 'ol ground, I leapt into the air. I felt myself accelerating upwards. I was going higher than I could by just jumping. Within moments, I was above the canopy, staring out over the trees.

The view was absolutely breathtaking. Trees stretched out as far as I could see, with only a lone mountain standing in the distance. I looked above me at the fluffy white clouds dotting the sky. They were so close, I felt I could touch them. I flapped my wings harder, trying to get higher, but I found myself slowly descending. In the end, all I'd achieved was a glorified jump. Before dropping below the canopy, I spun around to see if I couldn't find civilization.

Sure enough, I saw a large city not too far from my position. It lay in a low valley outside the forest, which is probably why I hadn't seen it. It looked pretty big, even from up in the air. I dipped back beneath the canopy and landed lightly on my feet. Even if I couldn't fly, the ability to jump that high could come in handy.

"What the?!" someone shouted from behind me. I quickly whipped around. There, standing just outside the bushes I'd just stashed my former meal, was a unicorn mare. The ash colored pony was staring right at me with violet eyes. She looked pretty darn freaked out.

"Who are you!" she quickly snapped out of it though, scowling and pointing her horn right at me. Other than her crimson mane, she didn't have any other prominent features. I just hoped her cutie mark wasn't a fly swatter.

"Hello there! I am not your enemy!" I tried the friendly approach. That earned me a warning shot of white magic exploding at my feet.

"I don't believe you! All changelings are enemies!" was it really that obvious? "Who are you?" I don't know why she was asking who I was. If all changelings were enemies, why not just blast me already? It probably had something to do with the fact that I was standing on two legs.

I seriously mulled her question over, though. Who was I? I used to be a human named Cooper who went to school, ran, and pulled shenanigans with his friends. Now I was a changeling who happens to be the new leader of Chrysalis's old swarm. It hit me for the first time that I really was king of the changelings now. At least, the changelings thought so, but according to them that's all that matters. I had a brand new identity, and my new identity needed a new name. King Cooper had a nice ring to it; however, seeing as the former Queen was named Chrysalis, I came up with an even better name.

"I am King Cocoon of the Changelings!" I ducked as the unicorn shot a blast of energy at my head. Maybe I should have lied.

"I guess I'd be doing the world a favor by killing you then," the unicorn advanced on me slowly. I couldn't believe it. I was having my first conversation with a pony, and what were we discussing? Killing me. Fantastic. I should just blast her and be done with it, but I've already caused enough trouble.

I jumped to the side as she tried to nail me with another blast. Now she was galloping, her horn pointed right at me. She gave me a warning shot, so I should extend to her the same courtesy before deciding to blast her. I've seen what I can do to trees and doing that to a pony would leave a bad taste in my mouth.

I pointed a finger and blasted a round right in her path. She skidded to a halt, but once she had stopped she fired at me again. She was far too close for me to get out of the way. Instinctively, I lashed out with my hand. My brain commanded my fingers to stop the oncoming attack. In response, my whole hand lit with a sickly green fire. When the white ball of heat and my hand met, the result was explosive. I winced at the light given off by the impact of the two energies, but I had successfully blocked the spell. In my relief, I hardly noticed the unicorn lunging at me from the side.

Once again, I found myself acting instinctively. I curled my hand into a fist and swung at her, intending to knock her out of the air. My magic took over again, causing my hand to erupt into a flaming streak. I nailed the unicorn right on the cheek.

The impact altered her trajectory away from me, causing her to fly past me and crash into the ground face first. I opened my fist and the green energy extinguished. Despite the fact that I'd just cleaned the clocks of a creature much smaller and weaker than me, I was pretty jacked about what had just happened.

My victim, thankfully, was knocked out. That allowed me to clear out of there and head towards the city I'd seen. Still feeling like I was the Energizer bunny, I'd taken off running. In my now significantly lighter body, I was able to run leisurely at a speed that would have been a dead sprint when I was fleshy.

The next clearing I came to, I jumped up to make sure I was going the right way. Thankfully, the city was indeed closer than it had been before. I don't know what I'd do once I was there, but I'm used to winging things. It's not like I had the experiences of another human to draw off of.

I was reminded of how easily I'd ended up in Equestria. One conk on the head and boom I was here. I didn't like it. It was far too simplistic. If it was that easy, who's to say I'm the only human here? Who's to say I'll be the last human to come here?

I spotted a large rock in the clearing. I marched up to it and set to work, carving out a message with a glowing claw. I found stone a bit harder to alter than wood, but the activity wasn't too strenuous. I scrawled out a simple message. The summary was "this is Equestria, there is a city that way, let's try and meet up". I signed my new name and title, then went on my way.

I figured the probability of somebody finding this and the information being relevant was really low, but the ever so slight chance that someone might see it was a bit comforting. I felt less alone out here in Equestria. Ponies would see me and instantly be afraid, so the only way for me to live peacefully is through deceit. Even if I could deceive them forever, I'd still have to feed on their love. I'm still not clear on the side effects, but I don't want to be doing to ponies on a whim.

The bottom line was that I need to get home. I need to get back to Earth where I belong.

2nd: Working Out the Bugs

"Welcome To Manehattan!"

The sign in front of the city looked so inviting I almost pranced in without a second though. Thankfully, my encounter with that crazy unicorn taught me that ponies do not like changelings. A perfectly understandable sentiment, but it put me in an awkward position. There was no getting home for me without help from somepony. I trusted that the ponies were decent at heart, so I planned to win their trust and show them just because I'm king of the changelings it doesn't mean I'm evil.

My first task was transforming into a pony that wouldn't draw much suspicion. I stared into a shallow puddle just outside the city limits, pondering my options. So far I've only seen three ponies, and I'll bet anything they all live here in Manehattan. It's a big city, but if somepony were to recognize me things might go south. As an avid viewer of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, I wondered if I could turn into a pony I'd seen on the show. It was worth a shot.

With an image of my target pony in my head, I issued the command to my body. I felt myself contorting as energy crackled over me. It wasn't a mystery to me why transforming was painful. All three ponies I'd seen were about half my height, bigger than a normal changeling but much smaller than me. I would be surprised if cramming my body into such a small space didn't hurt.

When the transformation completed, I looked down into the water. I was a dead ringer for Pony Joe, the doughnut vendor in Canterlot. I had hoped the transformation would come with his little cap and apron, but it seems clothing isn't part of the deal. At least I have a doughnut on my butt.

Confident in my disguise, I began heading towards the city. Seeing as being able to transform and maintaining that transformation was vital to my survival, I payed strict attention to the energy I was draining. The transformation itself cost quite a bit, but once it's done maintaining it is easy. It was weird being in a different body, but today was just a strange day. I realized the sun was getting low, indicating today would be over soon. The first thing I should do is find someplace to stay. Getting a place to stay requires money though, of which I have none.

"Stop right there!" a familiar voice snapped me out of my musings. I didn't want to turn around because I knew exactly who I was going to see. I was so close too! Three more steps and I'd be walking on the city's sidewalk!

"Turn around!" the grey unicorn demanded. I turned about ever so slowly.

Oh dear lord she looks peeved. She's got murder in her eyes and her horn looks ready to explode. She also has a bleeding cut where I nailed her in the face.

"Huh?" all of her anger disappears after she sees my face, "You're not... Wrenchell."

"No... no I am not..." I assured her. Who's Wrenchell anyway? Hold on... Wrenchell... Wrench... the stallion who's love I devoured? Come to think of it, Pony Joe has the same color scheme as that pony. He was an earth pony though, so I guess Joe's horn saved me there.

"You've got to help me!" I snapped out of my own little world as the unicorn put her bruised face up to mine, "My friends are passed out in the forest! They need help!" she pleaded with me.

"Why? What happened to them?" I already knew what happened, but I wanted to see how much this unicorn knew.

"This is crazy, but," please say call me maybe, please say call me maybe, "I think the King of Changelings devoured their love."

"That is crazy!" I tried to sound as surprised as I could. She is absolutely right though, I did go to town on their love.

"I know, but you've got to believe me! They need help!" she was serious. If their conditions are going downhill, it's all my fault.

"Regardless of what happened, if they're in trouble I'll help you," I extended my hoof in friendship. I can't just ignore Wrenchell and that mare after what I did to them. Technically they saved my life, so I should save theirs if I can. The unicorn reached out and shook my hoof. What an odd sensation to be gripped by a hoof.

"Thank you! My name is Lookie Louise, most ponies just call me Lou," Lou introduced herself, "You have a name?"

"Duncan, Duncan Doughnuts," I nearly crack up at my own pun.

"Ah, I see," I notice her taking a look at the pastry on my flank. I steal the opportunity to look at her own flank. She has a magnifying glass for a cutie mark. Makes sense to me seeing as the first thing I learned about her was that she likes to fry bugs.

"Excuse me, eyes up here mister," she notices me staring at her flank and I realize I'm also grinning like an idiot due to my inner monologue.

"You were looking at mine too!" besides, I wasn't looking at her butt. She's a horse. I'm not into that kind of thing.

"Just keep your eyes off it okay?" she's suddenly getting snippy with me. I guess there is still such a thing as being a chauvinist in Equestria.

"Aren't your friends in trouble, or something?" I can be snippy too. With that, we're off and running. I forgot that horses are faster than humans even in my world, but I was quickly reminded how fleet equines are while we were dashing back through the forest. I thought I was the fastest thing around with my light body, but I'd have to get serious if I wanted to outrun a pony.

"Mind if I ask what happened to your face?" I tried to start up a conversation with a perfectly innocent question.

"I won't ask about yours if you don't ask about mine," she quipped. What the heck was wrong with this chick? I can understand not liking the King of Changelings, but now she's peeved at Duncan? All he did was stare at her flank for a second too long. Maybe her cutie mark is a magnifying glass because she has one stuck up her-

"We're here!" we'd finally arrived in the clearing where I did all my dirty deeds. It looked far more dismal in the dying sunlight and was covered in the scars of the battle that had taken place.

"Something did a number on this place," I noted while looking about the clearing, making sure to feign ignorance as to where I hid the bodies. I was beginning to wish I was a better actor. I'd been in a school play once in High School, but my choir teacher had dragged me into it because they didn't have enough guys. At least I got my own song, that was pretty cool.

"Stop daydreaming and help me!" Lou yelled at me from the bushes where I stashed the bodies, "You get Wrenchell, I've got Aqua!" I saw she already had the blue mare across her back. I couldn't get over how good ponies are at naming their children. If human parents tried to name their kid based on what color he or she was, everyone would think they're scumbags.

"I said move it!" Lou screamed at me. I've gotta stop drifting off like that. I head into the bushes and put the stallion on my back. He really is in a bad way now that I see him. He's still passed out and his breathing is shallow. It could just be the low light, but I think his color is starting to fade as well.

"What now?" I dare to ask.

"We get them to the hospital! Follow me!" Lou doesn't waste any time as she bolts back into the forest. I try to get after her, but it's hard to run with a big pony on my back. I've also become aware of the fact that Pony Joe doesn't have the most fit of bodies. I guess I really shouldn't expect so much from a pastry chef. I've run farther under worse circumstances though. Failure also came at the price of becoming a murderer. That's enough motivation to get these hooves galloping through the forest.

Hospitals in Equestria are only slightly less depressing than hospitals on Earth. The only difference is that Equestrian hospitals are full of ponies. To me at least, it lightened the mood a bit. In any scenario in which I imagined visiting Equestria, I hadn't banked on sitting in a hospital waiting room by myself.

Turns out Aqua and Wrenchell are going to be okay. The doctors confirmed that they'd been attacked by changelings, but they didn't explain any further than that. The side-effects of a changeling attack are common knowledge apparently. A nurse took Lou to have her face examined. I guess karma dictates that my punishment for putting those three ponies in the hospital is having to sit and wait for them to recover.

I had tried to read a magazine to entertain myself, but much to my dismay Equestrian might as well be written in Chinese. Ponies might speak English, but they sure don't read it. I can only see this causing major problems for me in the future. Being unable to read doesn't brand me as a changeling, but I think it would help me be less suspicious.

"Excuse me," I looked up at the nurse who'd just appeared before me, "If you would come with me," she began trotting away from me. I don't know what she wants, but I go ahead and follow her. She leads me to a room where I suspect Aqua and Wrenchell are, but upon entering it I find it's empty. I hear the door close and lock behind me.

"What's the big idea?" I whip around, ready for any funny business. To my surprise, the nurse gets down into a low bow.

"Greetings, my king," the changeling's facade melts away, revealing the black bug for what he truly is.

"Uh... hey," I greet him, not so keen on changing out of my current form, "Uh... what's going on?" I'm not exactly sure what to do in this situation.

"There was talk amongst the scouts that Old Queen Chrysalis is gone. We sensed our leader in the city, so I was sent to greet you, your majesty," the changeling explained.

"Scouts?" from the way he was talking, it sounded like there were more changelings in this city.

"Yes, your majesty. Our scouting forces are still one hundred changelings strong. All of us are ready to rise up when you bring in the swarm."

I don't think I want to "bring in the swarm". This changeling was talking about taking over this city and draining all the citizens of their love.

"Oh, I'm not bringing out the swarm! I don't even know where the swarm is," I explained.

"... Huh?" the changeling obviously wasn't processing what he'd just heard, "I don't understand. How could your majesty not know where the swarm is?"

"Don't worry about it," I realized I was in the presence of an ally. This was my opportunity to get some answers, "I have a few questions for you."

"Anything you want to know, your majesty."

"Explain to me, exactly what happens when a pony has their love drained?" the changeling gave me a funny look. I think he was hoping for a king that was more on the up and up, but I'm glad he's willing to bring me up to speed.

"When we've drained all their love, the toxin in our magic prevents the pony from recovering physically and magically. They are doomed to slowly die unless somepony else intervenes with magic," so draining love can kill a pony. I'm not exactly sure how magic can be toxic, but I don't know jack squat about magic. So far all I've done with my magic is nearly kill three ponies and myself. Why am I so shocked to find out it's toxic?

"Next question," I decided to move on, "does the pony's love come back if they survive the toxin?"

"Of course," the changeling answered, "that is why we changelings slowly feed on our victims so as to keep our food source flowing. Of course, when we do a feeding swarm, we drain everypony in an area of all their love."

"What exactly is the point of a feeding swarm?" if the changelings needed the ponies alive to feed, why kill them in one fell swoop?

"Gathering enough love to survive is simple, but sometimes we need extra love for large undertakings."

"Large undertakings?" the changeling only nodded in response. I remember back to the show, how Chrysalis had attacked Canterlot with the whole swarm. I suppose that qualified as a feeding swarm. The "large undertaking" seems to have been taking over Equestria as a whole. Chrysalis had some pretty straight forward ambitions.

"Alright, last question: do all the changelings know I'm their king?"

"It isn't likely, your majesty," the changeling cast his gaze aside. He probably thought I would be offended by the fact. "If you want, I could bring word to the Hive that you are our new King."

"Sure, go ahead. Tell them that Cocoon is their new king," I didn't see the harm in it. The changelings were my only allies, so having their full support was important. The changeling saluted, morphing back into a nurse.

"I'll inform the hive after my shift," he started talking in a female voice. It was odd thinking that the mare I was looking at was actually a changeling. "I've got my hands full tonight. Some maggot was foolish enough to fully drain two ponies and get caught. If I find out who it was, should I bring your justice upon them your majesty?"

"Uh, as long as those two ponies survive I don't think it's a big deal," I didn't have the heart to tell him I perpetrated the act myself. I neither wanted him to tell the hive I was a complete moron or chastise himself for insulting me.

"You are a merciful king, your majesty," the nurse bowed low and unlocked the door. We headed back towards the waiting room together before he was swept up by a doctor.

"Ah, I've been looking for you nurse. I need you in the break room, right away," he whispered, just loud enough so I could hear it. The doctor and the changeling headed back the other direction, giving each other sultry looks. Wow, these changelings will do anything for a meal.

I returned to the waiting room to find Lou had been released and waiting in the lobby with a bandage on her face. She was talking to somepony I hadn't seen before, and they both looked incredibly angry.

"Yo, what's up?" I tried to lighten the mood. Lou turned around and glared at me. The other pony, an older looking blue stallion with a white mane and a tipping scale on his flank, looked happy to see me.

"You must be Duncan!" his expression turned chipper as he took and shook my hoof enthusiastically. "I want to thank you for helping my daughter today!"

"Your daughter?" I figured he either meant Lou or the pony called Aqua. Based on his color scheme, I'm going to guess Aqua.

"Yes! I am Mayor Marine of Manehattan, and I hear you aided in the rescue of my daughter Aqua from the hands of the vile changeling king!" as much as I didn't like being called vile, it was true that I did save her from myself. Of course, she wouldn't have needed saving if I hadn't done anything to her in the first place. If I hadn't though, I'd be dead. In the end, I think things turned out okay. I get to live, she gets to live, and everyone goes home happy. Well, I'll go home eventually once I figure out how.

"I didn't do all that much," I admitted. Honestly I hadn't. I wasn't even the one that carried his daughter out of the woods.

"Nonsense!" the mayor slung his hoof over my shoulder, "You took down that nasty Changeling King down all by yourself, didn't you?"

"He wasn't there Mayor! I'm the one who fought the Changeling King!" Lou forced me and the mayor apart. The mayor regained his cross expression from earlier.

"Miss Louise! If I recall, you said the Changeling King knocked you unconscious! He didn't devour your love, so I can only assume Mr. Doughnuts here saved you!"

"Uh, Mr. Marine?" I tried to correct him, but I was a bit giggly due to the fact he'd called me "Mr. Doughnuts". The mayor turned to me, brimming with joy.

"And it's a good thing he did! That repulsive and conniving Changeling King wasn't able to do any more harm to my precious daughter!" okay, he'd better lay off the insults pretty quickly here.

"He didn't to anything! He just carried Wrenchell back after I found him at the edge of town!" Lou tried to correct the story. Mayor Marine didn't pay her any heed.

"Mr. Doughnuts, where are you staying in town?" Marine questioned me, throwing a foreleg around my shoulder again.

"I don't have a place, but sir-"

"Well then!" Marine planted a hoof on either of my shoulders, "You must stay at my house as a guest of honor!"

"Huh?" was this guy for real? He just met me, but he's offering to let me stay in his house just because he came up with some far-fetched story about how I'd defeated what was technically myself?

"Mr. Mayor! He didn't defeat any Changeling King!" Lou protested.

"Quiet, Miss Louise! Let's hear it from the stallion himself!" both ponies stared at me intently. I weighed my options at the moment. I could tell the truth and end up scrounging around for a place to stay tonight, or I could lie and stay in the lap of luxury.

"That changeling was no match for me sir," I was already lying about a lot of other things, how much will one more hurt? Just seeing the look on Lou's face made it worth it. She knows I'm lying, but I don't care in the slightest. I was finally on somepony's good side, and I intended to stay there.

"I knew it!" Mayor Marine put his foreleg around my shoulders and began leading me out of the waiting room. "Come, come! You simply must tell me and my daughter all about it! Oh, I'm sure she's going to like you. I have reason to believe you're just her type!" it dawned on my that "being someone's type" was the driving force behind staying alive for me. If I could get somepony to direct their love towards me, I could feed off of them without harming them. In fact, I'm getting a little love from Mayor Marine right now! This platonic sort of love isn't quite as filling or tasty, but food is food. If I could get Aqua to throw a little love my way, I'd be rolling in love soon enough.

When we got to Aqua's room, I was relieved to find her awake and reclining in a hospital bed. I had officially not killed anypony today. It was a good feel. Aqua was happy to see me at first, I could tell because I got smacked in the face by a chunk of love as she excitedly sat up. She must have thought I was her lover Wrenchell because as soon as she saw my horn I stopped getting fed.

"Hello daddy," Aqua greeted the mayor, "Who's this?"

"This, my dear," Marine took my hoof and put it in Aqua's, "is Mr. Duncan Doughnuts. He saved you from the Changeling King!"

"He did?" she withdrew her hand with a skeptical look, "I thought Lou saved us."

"Oh, well she didn't," the Mayor cringed a bit at the mention of Lou. I couldn't speak intelligently about it yet, but I got the feeling that the mayor wasn't too keen on Lou.

"Uh, so Aqua," I had a few questions I wanted to ask her, "how much do you remember of the attack?"

"Well," Aqua reclined into her bed, "I was in the forest with Wrenchell and Lou when I thought I saw daddy stumble out of the brush. He looked terrible, so I rushed over to him and picked him up. It must have been the Changeling King in disguise because my memory gets all fuzzy from the point I touched him. Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital."

"I see," I am absolutely sure I didn't change into her daddy. For some reason, she edited her story so her dad was the object of her affection and not Wrenchell.

"How steeped in evil must this Changeling King be, to take advantage of a poor mare's love for her father like that!" Mayor Marine is lucky he's my ticket to a meal and a roof tonight, "I'm just glad the wretched creature didn't take away your innocence!" I was beginning to put the puzzle pieces together. Methinks that Aqua is fooling around with Wrenchell behind daddy's back. I don't know where Lou fits in, but I bet things will get juicier when I do.

"So, Mr. Doughnut," Aqua spoke up, "how did you defeat the Changeling King? Did you see what he actually looks like?"

"Oh, yeah! I saw his true form. He's pretty crazy looking," I go ahead and give a pretty vague description of myself.

"Ah, what a sickening, detestable, parasite this King must be," the Mayor chipped in. The dude has never even seen me, why in the world does he act like he's the expert on me? I swear, if I find out this dude's wife is dead, I'm going to find a picture and transform into her. I'll drain all the love out of him, call an ambulance, and he will love me for it! It'll be the perfect crime!

I'm terrible, I know.

"Anyway," I left my revenge plans for later, "changelings are quick, but they can't take a hit well. I got in one good shot at him and he ran away."

"Brilliant!" Mayor Marine applauded the tale enthusiastically. If he thought that was good, he should see the kind of story I could tell when I'm actually trying.

"Thank you Mr. Doughnuts, I'm glad you were there to help. I heard from Lou that the Changeling King was extremely powerful," Aqua explained. Well, I don't like to brag...

"I consider myself lucky. A King is rarely without his swarm," I pointed out. The statement was completely inaccurate, considering I had only spent a short while with my swarm. The Mayor and Aqua seemed to buy it though.

"Do you think the King is planning some sort of attack on the city?" Aqua suggested. Although I wasn't planning anything, I could apparently bring down the swarm on this place if the mood hit me.

"I don't know," I shrugged it off. In reality, this city wasn't in any danger from me. Lou and the Mayor might be in danger, but nopony else had given me a reason to drain the city of all its love.

"Looks like the city will need somepony to investigate," Aqua turned to her father. She had one of those looks on her face that said "you know what I mean".

"My dear, sweet daughter," the Mayor took his daughter's hoof in his own, "If your friend Lou wants to snoop around looking for changelings I won't stop her, but just stay out of it dear! I don't want you putting yourself in danger!"

"Daddy!" Aqua threw her father's hoof down, "If Lou and Wrenchell are going to investigate, then I want to help!" I recalled that Lou's cutie mark was a magnifying glass. It stood to reason she was good at investigating, meaning Aqua was talking about joining Lou and Wrenchell on an expedition to find out if there was a changeling plot brewing in the city.

"If you insist on chasing down those hideous insects and their revolting King," that clinches it, I'm eating this dude's love, "at least take Mr. Doughnuts for protection." There's an odd phrase if I've ever heard one. "Take Mr. Doughnuts for protection" sounds like something out of a-

... Now wait just a minute!

"Fine! If that's what it takes for you to let me do this," Aqua huffed before turning to me, "I'm glad to have your assistance Mr. Doughnuts." I don't remember giving anyone my assistance.

"Um, Mr. Mayor," I tried to voice my opposition, but Mayor Marine suddenly brought me into a huddle with him away from Aqua.

"Mr. Doughnuts, I would not ask you to do this if I didn't trust you. I can tell you're a straight shooter, I real genuine pony, so I want you to look after my daughter while she is investigating. If you seek her affections, I would support this because I know an outstanding pony such as yourself has only the purest intentions towards a young mare's feelings," I have determined Mayor Marine to be the worst judge of character I have ever met. "Genuine pony"? "Purest intentions"? I'd like to amend my previous statement to read "worst judge of character in any universe". I wanted to revert to changeling form and give him the biggest shock of his life.

I know that is unwise to cut off my supply of food. Mayor Marine is practically throwing his love at me. It wasn't exactly the bucket's I'd extracted from Aqua and Wrenchell, but it was food. If playing Sherlock Holmes with his daughter and her friends is all I need to do to stay in his good graces, I'm game.

"You can count on me, Mr. Mayor," I assured him. He beamed widely.

"Good, good!" we broke our huddle. Marine started out the door, saying, "I'll let you two get better acquainted." With that, I was left alone with Aqua. It's time to snoop into her personal life.

"So," I took a seat next to her bed, "how long have you and this Wrenchell stallion been an item?" Aqua's eyes shot open.

"Please don't tell my father!" just the reaction I was expecting.

"I won't breathe a word," I assured her, "Are you really serious about investigating the changelings?"

"Of course!" her tone was convincing, "Manehattan is my home. If the changelings are planning to harm the citizens, I have to do something about it!" she hopped out of the hospital bed. Seeing as she was standing, I took the opportunity to find out what her cutie mark was. I could be wrong, but it looked like a flag. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but it could hinge upon whose flag it was.

"You're quite the single minded stallion," Lou is a the door, glaring at me. How perfect is that?

"I was just looking at the flag," I defended myself. Thankfully, Aqua prevented us from getting into a spat over it.

"Lou! The city needs your help again!" Aqua trotted up to her friend.

"Are you saying she's helped the city before?" it would take a little convincing for me to believe the stick in the mud Lookie Louise was helpful in any way shape or form.

"She's the city's best P.I.! She's helped bring more ponies to justice than anypony else!" I could tell Aqua had faith in her friend's abilities, but I know that she's capable of spinning a lie.

"I couldn't do it by myself, Aqua. If you and Wrechell will help me, I'm on the case!" to be honest, Lou was probably the most honest pony I've talked to so far. I hadn't caught her lying yet and she wasn't letting me have any illusions about her liking me.

"What's the case Aqua?" Lou got right down to business.

"I don't think the King of Changelings showing up outside the city is just an odd occurrence," Aqua began briefing her friend, "I want to conduct an investigation to see if there is a changeling threat against the city," Lou nodded in response.

"I was thinking the same thing. For all we know, this Changeling King is hiding out right here in the city."

"So you'll take the case?"

"Yep, we'll take the case," Lou giggled as she threw a foreleg around her friend. I had forgotten this is Equestria, where the magic of friendship runs rampant.

"Oh yeah, daddy has enlisted Mr. Doughnut here to help us," Aqua gestured to me, tagging me on as an afterthought. Lou smirked at me. I do like where this was going.

"Well, Duncan, can I expect your full cooperation?"

"I'm here to help!" I might as well. Well, I'm not actually going to help smoke any changelings or myself out, but I'll play along until they give up.

"Very good. I'm glad to have your help," Lou actually sounded like she was actually on board with this. Maybe I'm finally out of the frying pan!

"Because you're my first suspect!" and into the fire...

3rd: Fly Under the Radar

Changelings... kind of a sucky thing to be. Your sustenance revolves around people liking you, but everyone hates your guts just because you're a changeling. As a result, you take on the guise of somebody else whose guts they hopefully don't hate. You can only survive if you lie and use everyone around you. It's like highschool, but if you screw up you die... for real.

"Tell me... 'Duncan', if that is you real name, what brings you to Manehattan?" Lou had put me in the hot seat, almost literally. She forced me into a hospital chair and had Aqua turn all the lights off. Aqua found a flashlight and was now pointing it right in my face. As if things couldn't get worse, Wrenchell showed up right before my interrogation began. He and Aqua instantly got all lovey-dovey, so I had to pretend the oodles of affection oozing out of them wasn't giving me a wicked appetite. I guess I should be thankful that I was plenty full after devouring their love in the first place. Now Lou was starting to question me, and I could tell already I wasn't going to enjoy this.

"I'm just a tourist," and might I add from another world? I'm just so silly, I accidentally bought a one way ticket. I guess I'll be here until I can scrape together the cash to get home! Until that time, I'm in your care madam!

"Why come here by way of the forest?" Lou inched closer to me.

"I like the outdoors," and I really didn't have a choice. I got dropped off in the forest without any food or money. Perhaps it was a slight oversight on my part, but the travel agency should have explained my means of transport a little better. Am I right?

"That doesn't answer the question, Duncan," Lou got just a bit closer to me, "Why didn't you take the train or fly in on an airship?"

"Okay, okay. I'm broke, you happy?" I also feed on love, so please don't hate me.

"Being a broke tourist doesn't add up, Duncan. I'm starting you think you're here to visit your changeling friends!" Lou crossed the border from "invading personal space" to "uncomfortably close".

"I don't have any 'changeling friends'," actually all my friends are changelings. All the ponies I've met hate me, but they seem to like who I'm pretending to be. Well, everypony but you Lou. I don't know whether it's the fact that I looked at your butt for a moment too long or the fact that you obviously just hate strangers.

"Sure, sure... so why did you let the Changeling King escape?"

"Escape?" trust me lady, I only wish I had escaped.

"You said you stopped the Changeling King, but you didn't finish the job. You let him get away on purpose, didn't you?" Lou put her nose right up to mine. She smells kind of funny.

"Yes, I got in one good shot and let him get away. I wasn't about to push my luck. He was... uh... scary!" I'm just as scared of me as I am of myself though.

"And why didn't you help Aqua, Wrenchell, or me when he ran off either? On top of that, when I saw you outside the forest, you acted like you didn't know about the Changeling King!" even if I didn't like how Lou was horn to horn with me right now, she was pretty sharp. Either that or my alibi and story were just terrible. It didn't help that her suspicions were completely on base.

"I didn't see you guys. I was pretty freaked out by what I saw and just booked it out of the forest," Lou might be good, but I'm better. Aqua and Wrenchell were stashed in a bush and Lou wasn't exactly laying about in the open. Any reasonable human being, or pony I suppose, would run like the dickens if they managed to scare off a monster in the woods. What kind of idiot would stick around to see if he could find any mangled bodies? Those kind of brain dead idiots only show up in horror movies!

"That still doesn't explain why you feigned ignorance about the Changeling King," Lou took a step away from me for once. Was I actually doing it? Was my bluff working?

"I didn't know the changeling I fought was the king! Sure, he looked kinda funny, for a changeling, but it's not like he was wearing a sign that said 'I'm the king' or something. How is it that you even knew he was King of the Changelings?" Ah-ha, take that Lou! I know how you know, but it would sound freakin' ridiculous if this were a real court of law!

"He just came out and told me," Lou admitted quite easily. No one seemed very shaken by the confession, which bugged me. I wanted to see her squirm a little.

"Lou," Wrenchell stepped into the light, "you really think this dude is a changeling?" Lou heaved a large sigh.

"I thought he was... but maybe he isn't," Lou grunted. She trotted over to the door and turned the lights back on. Aqua stopped shining the flashlight in my eyes and sidled up next to Wrenchell.

"Does this mean I'm not a suspect anymore?"

"I guess so..." Lou sounded incredibly bummed out, but I couldn't be happier!

"I guess this means you'll be coming back with me, Duncan," Aqua beamed.

"What?!" Wrenchell instantly sprung into protective boyf-er... coltfriend mode. He puffed up to full size and stood between me and Aqua.

"No, Wrenchell," despite the death Wrenchell was obviously wishing up on me at the moment, Aqua began giggling at the display, saying, "My father just invited him to stay with us during his time in Manehattan," and that was all it took to cool his temper.

"Alright sweet thing," he pecked her on the cheek, eliciting another giggle. Normally, this kind of display of public affection is supposed to make me gag, but it was actually making me a bit hungry. What a strange twist of fate.

"Careful you two, the Mayor is still here," Lou addressed the lovebirds flatly, "We'll meet up at your place tomorrow morning at six, Aqua. We've got to get a jump start on these changelings."

"Sounds like a plan," I was finding Aqua's chipper attitude not fitting of a pony who is supposed to be going out on an investigation to possibly save the city. It really didn't matter to me though. The worse the investigators, the easier to throw off their investigation.

Not much else happened at the hospital. Mayor Marine and Aqua whisked me away in a fancy carriage to an appropriately large estate nestled in the city. The city itself is kind of like the actual Manhattan, but a little scaled down. There aren't quite as many skyscrapers and the city as a whole feels set back over a century. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that there were ponies walking around in top hats and the architecture was reminiscent of someplace more rustic. Horseshoes and shutters on the windows are generally design choices reserved for barnyards and farmhouses.

I had hoped to arrive at the mansion, eat, and hit the hay after my full day of crazy antics, but fate had other plans for me.

Dinner consisted of cooked asparagus over collard greens. Now don't get me wrong, I love asparagus and all variety of green vegetables. I was only reluctant to eat the food placed before me because I'm a huge carnivore. If I had to choose one thing to eat for the rest of my life, I would choose ribs. Oh sweet or sour Nonspecific Deity I would choose ribs... but, Equestria being Equestria, I knew I would have to go herbivore to maintain my ruse. I gratefully tucked into the emerald meal.

For a split second, I thought they'd poisoned me. The taste was so terrible I abandoned all courtesy and spat out what I'd put into my mouth. I played it off on choking a little, but I still wanted to blow chunks. I've never eaten bellybutton lint, but I would have exchanged the meal before me for a plateful of the stuff in a heartbeat. I thought there might be something wrong with the asparagus, so I went for the greens. My taste buds wailed in agony, but I managed to chew it and force it down my throat. I grabbed my glass of water and attempted to wash the taste out of my mouth.

I don't think I've ever spat so far. Even the water tasted like fermented dish soap! I played the "down the wrong pipe" card and got off scot-free, but I was seriously confused. Was there something wrong with the food in Equestria? Was it really terrible beyond all belief? Are the residents the only creatures able to stomach it?

Of course, there was the possibility that it had something to do with me being a changeling. Changelings eat love, not salad. It stood to reason I might not even be equipped to digest normal food. There was no time like the present to experiment, so I said a quick prayer and began choking down the rest of my meal. I've never had to try so hard to keep from hurling.

After dinner, I was shown to the room I was going to be staying in while I was here in Manehattan. My first course of action was to turn off the lights and go to bed. I stretched out and let the stress of the day melt away. The mattress was nice and soft. The blankets were fluffy and warm. My pillows were cool and comfy. I listened to the quiet nighttime bustled of the city below in my dark, peaceful room.

But I can't fall asleep! I've been watching the clock for two hours now, but I'm more bored than tired. I'm not tired at all! I'm beginning to wonder if changelings even need sleep. I get up out of bed. If I can't sleep, I should do something productive.

Convinced I'm alone and bound not to be disturbed, I change back into my normal body. I feel stiff all over, like I'd just been sitting in a cramped car for hours on end. It felt good to unload the burden of maintaining an alien body, especially one you had to cram yourself into.

I sauntered over to the window and peeked through the curtains. The coast was clear. I drew back the curtains and opened the window up carefully. The night air was surprisingly warm.

A quickly got up on the sill and jumped out into the night. Working my wings furiously, I managed to fly over to the roof on the opposite side of the road. I got a running start and jumped into the air again, using my wings to gain more altitude. I rose until I was arcing high over the city of Manehattan. Against the dark, moonless sky I was invisible. I surveyed the city below me, as if I were the king of this domain. I could be. All I had to do is drop the changeling swarm down on the city's sleeping, unsuspecting residents.

I gently touched down on another rooftop. I didn't want to cause any trouble. I just wanted to get home. Maybe if I ditched this town and scampered off to Canterlot, I could see Princess Celestia. If I explained myself, it's possible she'd be willing to help me. What's the point of staying here in Manehattan if it didn't get me any closer to going home?

"Your majesty?" I swung around. I was so lost in thought I had failed to notice the buzzing behind me. There were three changelings hovering in the air behind me, one of them decked out in dark, changeling armor.

"Hey there," don't loyal subjects know better than to scare the living daylights out of their king?

"Is there something you require, your majesty?" the changelings landed and bowed low. I need a lot of things, but I doubt a handful of changelings could get them for me. The King of Changelings having a nice chat with Princess Celestia was too far fetched to ever happen. Telling someone you're the King of Changelings is like telling someone you make your living as a con artist.

"... Do you guys have a hideout or something in the city?"

"Of course, your majesty. Would you like us to escort you there?" I nodded in response. The changelings took to their wings and I followed after them the best I could. I decided there was a good reason to stick around. The ponies might never help the King of Changelings, but they will help out a pony in need. I need to test the water here and make some friends who aren't changelings. For all I know, the solution I need could be here in Manehattan.

If nopony here can help me get home, I'll just look for it elsewhere. Maybe I'll go to Ponyville next. I know Ponyville best and I know there is a group of ponies with a knack for solving problems. Besides, if I go anywhere else I'll just end up wishing I was there. It just makes good sense to go.

"We are here, your majesty," I moved back into reality. The armored changeling was standing next to me, pointing a hoof at what looked like a small apartment building. It was incredibly hard to believe what I was looking at could be a changeling hideout. The building was very well maintained and even had an elderly pony sweeping out front. The only reason I did believe it was a changeling hideout was because that elderly pony looked up, saw four changelings standing in the street, bowed, and then went right on with what he was doing.

"Hiding in plain sight... I like it," the changelings lead me in through the front door, "So... do all the changelings in Manehattan live here?"

"Yes, your majesty," we started down a pretty standard, white hallway, "those on duty occupy the apartment rooms while the others live below."

"Below?" on top of that, what constituted an on duty changeling? Before I got an answer, we stopped in front of the apartment of... somepony. There was a nameplate, but Equestrian is still just chicken scratch to me. It's going to be a while before I get used to being unable to read. The armored changeling slammed three deliberate knocks on the door.

"Who is it?" I shouldn't have been so surprised to hear the voice of a mare.

"Family and friends," the changeling answered. After a momentary silence, I heard the tumblers on the door disengage. It opened up to reveal a perfectly normal looking mare.

"Good evening your majesty," she bowed low and greeted me.

"Yeah, good evening," I tipped an imaginary hat at her. I was pretty terrible with all this formal "your majesty" stuff. I needed to come up with better responses than "yeah" or "hey there". I'm a king for crying out loud. I should be a little more regal.

"Would his majesty like to go down to the lower level?" I nodded my assent. Nodding is regal, I think. The mare, a changeling in reality, gestured for me to enter. The armored changeling followed me in, but the two other changelings stood around outside. The mare walked over to her dresser, put her head against it and began to push. Now this is the kind of stuff I expected to see in a changeling hideout.

Behind the dresser was a tunnel, crudely dug and covered in green slime. It was a bit of a tight squeeze for me, but I managed to follow the armored changeling down into the tunnel's depths. It was nearly a straight down drop and I found myself just sliding down the green slime. All good tunnels must come to an end though, as I felt my feet touch down on solid ground. It was too dark to see, but I knew exactly where I was based on the smell. I was impressed that the changelings had made a tunnel that connected down to the sewers, even if it was disgusting.

"It's a bit dark, don't you think?" I felt around for the changeling I'd come down here with.

"You heard him! Light!" the entire area lit up a sickly green, allowing me to see that I was indeed in a sewer. There was a cave in of sorts to my right, making it impossible to proceed further in that direction. There were smaller cave ins to the left, but not so much so that one couldn't proceed if they were cautious. Intuition tells me if I do venture further to the left, I'd find the tunnel sectioned off by caution tape and other such warning signs. Other than the two sides of the tunnel, the rest of it looked like I'd envisioned it. Green slime all over the place, discarded chitin laying about, but I didn't see any changelings. I also didn't see where the light was coming from either. It seems to be coming from the ceili-

Nonspecific Deity be praised or not, that is a shrimp ton of changelings!

Above me was another changeling made tunnel just as wide as the sewer. It stretched at least two stories up and was saturated with changelings. Most of them were staring down at me, their horns providing the emerald glow that bathed the tunnels.

"I was told there were only about a hundred changelings here!" I turned to the armored changeling, who was standing idly beside me.

"One hundred scouts, your majesty. Our warrior reserves are just upwards of a thousand," he explained. I looked back up at the mass of changelings. Upon closer inspection, the changelings who weren't providing light were wrapped in the same slime that coated most of the walls.

"They're... sleeping?" I was totally jelly of them if they were.

"They are awaiting the day you decide to bring down the swarm upon town, your majesty," I had been thinking that one hundred changelings was too small of a number to take over a place as big as Manehattan. Over a thousand changelings? That's far more plausible.

"So... what do you other changelings do?"

"We gather food for the sleeping warriors," the changeling began explaining, "Scouts take shifts posing as ponies in the city in order to gather love," it sounds like a pretty solid operation.

"This is the only changeling hideout in Manehattan, right?" I had to be sure. I'm sure if Lou and the others stumbled upon this, they'd instantly assume there was an invasion on the way.

"Yes, your majesty. Other than the changelings in the field, the Manehattan Swarm is stationed in this location only," that's good to hear. That means as long as I keep Lou away from this apartment building and the room with the tunnel, there was no way she'd find any changelings. There was only one avenue I was worried about.

"What's further down that tunnel?" I pointed to the side of the tunnel that wasn't completely blocked off.

"More sewer, your majesty," that much I suspected. I walked over to the open side of the tunnel and began to work my way over the rubble.

"Your majesty? Where are you going?" I turned around to see a very concerned changeling.

"I want to know what's down this way. It's possible that someone or somepony could come this way and discover us," I reached the top of the rubble and scrambled down the other side. I touched down with a splash, landing in knee deep water. Plunged into darkness again, I attempted the illumination spell with my hand. It was simple as commanding my fingers to gather energy to throw beams of green light all around me. With the rubble behind me, the sewer before me was relatively destruction free. A pile of loose bricks here, a hidey-hole for some rats there, and dank sewer smell all around.

"Your majesty! I would not venture down that way!" the armored changeling called to me, just barely peeking over the pile of rubble. Call me suspicious, but I think he's scared of something. Of what, I have no idea.

"Don't worry, I'll be back shortly. Hold down the fort," the changeling saluted and ducked back behind the rubble. If he was worried, that was reason enough to be cautious. In retrospect, I should have asked him why he was worried. If I did though, it would just give him ammo to convince me not to go. I needed to make sure nopony was going to come down this way.

I kept walking down the dark sewer, only illuminated by the light flowing out of my fingertips. There really isn't much to say about Manehattan's sewers. If you want to know what it's like, just imagine a stereotypical sewer. As long as your idea of a sewer doesn't involve hamburger vending machines or can-can dancers, you've probably got the feel down pat. It smells bad, the air is stale, and every so often I hear a single drop fall somewhere in the distance. I almost abandoned walking through the sewage for the walkway, but the rats look hungry. I'm pretty sure rats eat bugs, so I'll stick to walking through the pony refuse.

After probably a solid five minutes of walking, I came to what I was looking for. Before me stood another impassible cave in. All the other diverging tunnels I'd found were either barred off, too small for a pony to get through, or caved in. Unless somepony came down through a manhole they wouldn't be able come down here.

"Wait... is it still manhole?" there was still a lot of pony-talk I hadn't gotten straight, "It's either ponyhole or stallionhole... or maybe colthole. I think ponyhole sounds the best. It's gotta be ponyhole."

"You're wrong actually. They're called mareholes."

"Mareholes? That does sound better than ponyhole. I guess it makes sense."

"Of course it does. I can't imagine why you think they'd be called something else."

"It's a long sto-," hold up... who am I talking to?

"I was wondering when you'd notice me," I swung around to the source of the voice. On the walkway to my right sat a creature I'd never before laid eyes upon. Granted, I'd never really laid eyes upon magical ponies or changelings before today, but at least I had an idea of what they looked like.

"Who or what are you?" I backed up a bit, noting that it was bigger than me.

"Silly changeling, I'm a Sphinx," the monster sat up on its furry haunches, swishing its tail and flitting it's wings. The hawk and lion elements were present, but it was missing something.

"If you're a Sphinx, why don't you have the head of a... oh," I realized something. It wouldn't make sense if a Sphinx in Equestria had a human head. The substitute in this case was the head of a black ram. I actually think they're a thing back on Earth. I believe the term is Criosphinx, but here in Equestria the distinction would be pointless.

"You are delightfully stupid," the Sphinx chuckled, looking me up and down with his crimson eyes, "that should make things quick for me."

"Buddy, if you're looking for a bite to eat you'd better take a hike," I took another step towards my escape route. One does not simply fight a Sphinx in a sewer.

"We all need to eat, right changeling?" the Sphinx jumped down with a splash and joined me in the water, "At least I'm honest with my prey and have the decency to put them out of their misery," the Sphinx started stalking towards me.

"I don't feel like discussing our respective dietary habits. Aren't you suppose to give me a riddle or something?" I made sure to maintain the distance between the two of us.

"Oh yes, the riddle," the Sphinx stopped and sat on its haunches in the water, "Answer me this changeling: What is owned by you, but used more by others?"

...

Dangit, I have no freakin' idea. I take another step back. Something tells me I'll be running like the dickens soon enough.

"You don't know? It's a shame you can't appreciate the irony of that, changeling!" the Sphinx lunged, bleating like a sheep from hell and bearing its fangs. The sight of claws and curved horns against a pair of massive wings was such a surreal sight I nearly forgot to get out of the way. For once in my life I was glad close only counts in horseshoes as the Sphinx crashed into the water just as I managed to jump out of the way. I touched down a couple yards away and took aim with my finger. I let a green bolt fly and bulls-eyed the Sphinx right on the head.

But it wasn't very effective...

"That was cute," the Sphinx smirked and brushed some misplaced wool out of its eyes. I should have guessed this wasn't going to be so easy. The Sphinx leapt into the air. I turned and ran as it spread its wings and dove at me. I narrowly avoided getting snatched up in it's paws by jumping face-first into the murky water. Even in the dark water, I could hear the massive beast splash into the water in front of me. I got to my feet as quickly as I could, but by the time I was up the Sphinx was already charging me with its massive horns. It lowered it's head in preparation to gore me when it got close enough. I saw only one way to avoid that fate.

I ran at the Sphinx myself until he was almost within the distance he needed to turn me into a ceiling pancake. With everything I had, I jumped and tucked myself into a ball. I passed unharmed over the charging Sphinx, exiting my aerial roll by spreading my limbs and water-heavy wings. I didn't turn to see what had become of my aggressor. This time, I just booked it down the sewer. There was no way I was out muscling the Sphinx, but I'd be willing to bet I could outrun it.

I listened as the Sphinx bleated behind me, but the splashing of its paws was fading behind me rapidly. I whooped in victory as I sprinted through the water, the way only illuminated by my swiftly swinging hand. It was odd though, the glow coming from my hand seemed like it was tinted red. I looked down at it for a moment, but it was glowing green like it had always been. The sewer passage way was getting progressively redder and redder. I had no idea what could be going on, until I noticed my own shadow lengthening before me.

I twisted my body around just in time to watch the ruby streak collide into me and cause green fissures to explode all along the right side of my torso.

The impact lifted me right of my feet and tossed me like a ragdoll against the sewer wall, sending a dull pain across my whole body with the impact. I hit the ground with another painful thud. I managed to push myself off the floor and into a sitting position with my back against the wall. Whatever had hit me hadn't intended to clip me, and I watched it spin and crash into the ceiling a ways off. The immediate effect was a tremor that shook the entire passageway. The ceiling cracked and dislodged, sending an avalanche of concrete and rock tumbling down. The shower of debris was dangerously close to me, so I tried to get out of the way.

I tried to get myself standing by leaning on my right arm, but the action immediately caused knife like pains to shoot through my body. I felt like several doctors were trying to open me up from different points with rusty scalpels. In the chaos, I looked down at my wound. My exoskeleton along the right side of my body was cracked and falling to pieces all the way from my shoulder to my hip. Green liquid was flowing freely from each crack and opening. I realized that it hurt, a lot. If that red blur had hit me full on, it would have easily snapped me in half. I guess I was right about changelings being unable to take a hit.

I placed my left hand over my wounded area. The attack hadn't killed me, but this wound might if I don't treat it. I had no medicine, no bandages, and nobody to help me. All I had was magic. A changeling's body is designed to twist and change. The magic is the same, so healing has to be possible. At least, I pray it's possible.

The command is the most complex one I've issued yet. The magic flows out and then back into me. I'm changing my body again, but the changes I'm making are to be permanent. The changes I'm making require the creation of new structures. I envision what my whole torso looks like, but that isn't enough. I picture my whole body, where and how everything is in relation to everything else. I expected the magic to take hold gradually, but with a burst of green light and a moment of mind-numbing pain the wound becomes whole again.

A boulder crashed into the pathway right next to me. I get up, my body feeling good as new, and book it away from the cave-in. It's dark without the illumination from my hand, but I don't have far to go. When the cave-in is only a distant rumble, I stop and catch my breath.

I'd survived. It was a miracle, but I'd survived the attack. I'd bet my mustache the culprit behind the red blur was the Sphinx. I'd also wager my beard that he's got something to do with all the other cave-ins. If he hadn't crashed like that, I'm sure he would have finished me off easily. I'm only alive because I managed to heal myself, but healing magic took quite the toll on my energy. It was quick and convenient, but I won't be able to pull it off again unless I do some serious feeding. My energy is precious, so I can't afford to waste any more of it tonight.

Going back towards the changeling hideout wasn't an option. If the cave-in wasn't dangerous enough, the Sphinx might have managed to dig itself out. If I continued forward, I'd just run into a dead-end. There was only one way out: a marehole.

I continued down the sewer, feeling my way along with one hand on the wall. It only took a minute or so to feel out a ladder. I grabbed on and started to climb up it, hoping that there was a way out at the top. As I got further up, I noticed pinpricks of light and listened as a carriage rumbled overhead. When I reached my goal I tested the weight of the cover with one free hand. It pleased me to feel the metal plate lift easily, allowing me to scope out my surroundings before exiting cover.

Once I was sure I was alone and nopony was coming, I pulled myself out as quickly as I could. I managed to replace the marehole cover and duck into an alleyway just before another carriage turned onto the street. I tested my wings to see if they were dry enough to assist with jumping. After a few experimental buzzes, I hopped back up on the rooftops. The Eastern horizon was just starting to light up, so I hurried back towards where I believed the Mayor's estate was.

I mentally high-fived myself when I realized I'd pretty much survived a whole day in Equestria. I'd been eyelash close to death more than once already, but I'd managed to stay alive through a strange blend of determination and luck. Equestria was undeniably magical and extraordinary to someone who'd only ever been a third party observer. The entire range of emotions and experiences I've had so far will probably stick with me forever. As I hopped from steeple to balcony towards my lodging, I couldn't help but smile as I said to myself:

"I need to get out of here."

4th: Oedipus Or Odysseus?

Even if I had the ability to sleep, I probably wouldn't be right now. As soon as I returned to the Mayor's mansion I shut the window and assumed the alias of Duncan Doughnuts again. I hadn't come here looking for trouble, but I went ahead and found just that. There was indeed trouble brewing in Manehattan. It's safe to assume that a Sphinx in your sewer is not something you call a plumber for. No, this job required someone skilled in fighting monsters.

Is that me?

...

Eh, might as well be. Of course, returning to the sewers right now to confront the beast would just be suicide. I could pray the cave in smooshed him, but based on the number and severity of the other cave ins I think it is safe to assume he will be okay. If I was going to defeat him, or even just stand a chance against him, there were some things I needed to know:

1. What in Nonspecific Deity's mystery is a Sphinx doing in the sewers?

2. Are the ponies around here aware of its existence?

3. How am I going to defeat it?

The second question is the easiest to get an answer to. I'll just ask the Mayor or Lou, both of whom seem to know what goes on around here. I don't even know how to go about answering the first question. I imagine that if I waltz up to the Sphinx and ask him myself, he'll try to eat me. If ponies around here know about the Sphinx, I could milk them for information. The third question was the one I really wanted an answer to. The Sphinx tried to eat me, so I'd kind of like to settle the score with him. My trick-tionary, as some might put it, had run dry in our last encounter. I can't shoot him, I can't fly away in a sewer, and I can't even outrun him. I need to pay another visit to the changelings. If anypony knows what else I can try, it'll be them.

The name of the game was first things first. I can't scamper off to see the changelings until I take care of things with Lou and the other investigators. I exit my room and move to the dining room for breakfast. The only pony around was Mayor Marine. This was my chance to get some answers.

"Why good morning my good pony! How are you this morning? Did you sleep well?" Mayor Marine greeted me with breakfast. It was a scant meal of unfounded adoration, but after last night I'd eat anything. Well, I don't think I'd eat asparagus.

"I slept okay," I lied, "How are things around the city today?"

"Oh, Mr. Doughnuts, I'm afraid we're in a bit of a rough patch right now," he admitted.

"Really? Explain," I urged him on, hoping to hear tales of a Sphinx.

"For a while now there have been going-ons in the sewers," yes, yes, yes, "There have been multiple cave ins, but we don't know why."

Well shoot.

"You don't know what's been causing the cave ins?"

"Me or anypony else for that matter. When they first started happening, we sent in construction crews to fix them, but ponies on the teams would start mysteriously disappearing." That sounds like the work of a Sphinx to me. A pony gets left alone or wanders off, the Sphinx riddles him this or that, and then you have a slightly less hungry Sphinx.

If I were actually Duncan Doughnuts and not Cocoon, I could just reveal to the mayor that his sewer problems stem from the beast. Since I am Cocoon, I can't reveal my knowledge of the Sphinx without revealing my true identity. As much as I'd like help from the city, I ain't about to get any. If anything, they'll assume we're in cahoots. Rather than muddling over how to get their cooperation, I should focus my efforts on taking care of it myself.

"Until we figure out why this is happening," the Mayor continued, "we can't fix the damages."

Okay, that puts me in a bit of a bind. I guess I have to let the Mayor and the city know about the Sphinx before I take it out. I have an idea about how to do that, but I'll think about that later.

"What do you think is causing the cave ins?" I went ahead and asked, hoping the answer wasn't changelings.

"Not changelings... that's for sure," as relieving as the answer was, I sensed it had a double meaning. Dare I prod further? No, I'll just keep my questions knee deep for now.

"Are the cave ins isolated to a certain region of the city?"

"No, they occur all over the city. Whatever is causing the cave ins appears to be able to access parts of the sewers that it shouldn't have access to," the Mayor brought up a perplexing point. If the Sphinx has free reign of the sewers despite the cave ins, what's keeping him from exiting the sewers? Nothing that doesn't fall down from the ceiling would be in his way if he wanted to exit upwards. I know a Sphinx doesn't have any fish parts, but it was starting to smell like it did.

I wished to investigate further, but Aqua burst into the dining room.

"There you are!" before I could get my head together, she grabbed me and started dragging me out of the dining room.

"Good chat, Mr. Doughnuts! I will see you tonight then!" the Mayor waved me off.

"Bye Daddy!" Aqua waved to her father before we exited, "It's time to go investigate, Duncan! Get ready for some hardcore detective work!"

If what I just had to endure could be considered "hardcore detective work", I never wanna be a private investigator. All we did all day was follow Lou around and listen to her interrogate different ponies. None of them knew anything about changelings in the city and there wasn't a single pony who knew anything about a King of Changelings. We searched a few buildings too, supposedly for swarms, but only run-down buildings and sketchy looking ones. We walked right past the real changeling hideout, but Lou didn't even give it a second glance. I was so psyched about it, I smiled and winked to somepony who walked out as we walked by. He must have not been a changeling because he responded with a funny look. What is a normal pony is doing at the changeling hideout? I can only assume he is having his love drained, willingly.

The trip wasn't completely useless for me. Talking to ponies about changelings let me glean some information about a recent event involving changelings: the wedding of Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. It happened a little while back and from what I hear it probably happened exactly like the show had depicted it. That placed Queen Chrysalis's defeat at a different moment than the one I arrived.

How does that leave me? Clueless, that's how.

Something else happened to Chrysalis after the wedding. Obviously what had exactly happened was a complete mystery to me, but maybe the changelings could shed some light on the matter.

That would have to wait until after the investigation. The sun is getting low now, but Lou is refusing to give up. Originally, we were only accessories she had taken along for the ride, but now she had turned to us for any ideas.

"What about the sewers?" I pitched my idea out there. Lou, Aqua, and Wrenchell all exchanged glances at the proposition. At first, I thought they were concerned, what with the cave ins and such. The looks on their faces betrayed their actual thoughts though. They know something I don't know... and they're confirming with each other that things should stay like that.

"The sewers are too dangerous to investigate right now," Aqua shot down my suggestion. I agree, the sewers are dangerous. I only wanted to go down there because I selfishly wanted to see if I could expose the existence of the Sphinx. The only problem I had with her reasoning was this: danger didn't appear to be an issue for this crowd. They knew full well their enemy was stronger than them and came in greater numbers, but they nonchalantly wandered into place after place looking for them. They don't want to avoid the sewers because they're dangerous, but because they have reason to believe the changelings aren't down there.

I need to know why. I'm going to have to push for information, but I need to be careful. I need to confirm my suspicions without acting suspicious.

"Too dangerous?" I feigned ignorance.

"Lots of cave ins recently and ponies going missing," Wrenchell explained.

"And it isn't due to changelings?" everypony nodded their heads, "Then what is it?"

"Nopony knows," Lou explained. I expected her to expound upon the subject, but we all just stood around in silence.

"Uh... what do you think it is?"

"Beats me," she shrugged the mystery off. For a pony who's special talent and passion is investigating, she didn't seem to be concerned about looking into it. Why? My guess was she already knows what's going on down there.

"So, it's a problem for the Mayor then?" I decided to exit this topic. The looks I was getting from these three ponies were becoming more and more unsettling. Upon me dismissing the issue, their expressions brightened back up.

"Yep, my father will take care of it. We've got a real mystery to solve," Aqua laughed, snuggling up a little closer to Wrenchell. I've got a mystery of my own to look into. I need to find out what they're hiding before find out what I'm hiding.

"I guess we'd better call it a day," Lou dismissed everyone, "I'm going to head back to my place, what about you guys?" Lou looked at her two friends to ask the question, but never glanced at me.

"We're going to go grab a bite, right?" Aqua nuzzled Wrenchell as he nodded in confirmation. I don't want to know what they're going to be biting. "What about you, Duncan?"

"I'm just gonna head back to the Mayor's. I'm probably just gonna crash when I get back." That was a lie. After we said our good-byes, I waited until they were out of sight to head to the changeling hideout. One trip down a slimy tunnel later, I was in an entirely different world.

"Welcome back, your majesty." Even if it was dark as a dungeon, I could hear the place buzzing with activity. Once I entered, every horn in the place lit up. I found a chunk of the ceiling that wasn't too slimy and sat down.

"I have many, many questions," I groaned.

"I will do my best to assist you. What is it you need?" I reached up and stroked my beard thoughtfully.

"Does this beard make me look old?"

"Very old, your majesty. It is very dignified, displays your maturity splendidly."

"I don't want to look old, I want to look my age."

"Yes, your majesty. You should be rid of it and reveal your childish nature."

"I don't want to get rid of it."

"Of course, your majesty. A beard is a symbol of strength and power. Altering it would be a sin."

"I think I'm going to trim it."

"A wise choice, your majesty. Good grooming is the sign of a wise leader." I looked up at the group of changelings that had gathered around me, each one staring at my beard and hanging on my next word in order to give their respective opinions.

"You two, get a mirror for me." I pointed at two arbitrary changelings. They buzzed their wings and flew off, mumbling to each other.

"A sin to change his beard? What's wrong with you?"

"Hey! You're the one that called him old!"

When the two returned, the armored changeling had dispersed the crowd. I began grooming myself, using the index finger of my right hand as a trimmer. If I would someday have to reveal myself to the world as King Cocoon, I should try and look more presentable. Big beards haven't been in vogue for a long time, not since Abraham Lincoln at least.

"So, tell me about this Sphinx that's roaming the sewers." I turned my chin up and began working on the hair near my neck.

"The monster has been wandering the sewers for a month now. It entered this place only once, but it fled once it realized it was outnumbered," the changeling explained.

"Any idea what it wants, what it's doing?"

"It wants to eat ponies and it is destroying the sewers."

"Wonderful." I guess I should have figure that out myself. "If it wants to eat ponies and destroy stuff, why does it stay in the sewers?"

"The barrier."

"The what?"

"The barrier."

...

"What barrier?!"

"The one around the sewer, your majesty." Well this was news to me. Nopony had mentioned a barrier before. I certainly hadn't seen anything that looked like a barrier.

"I hadn't noticed that there was a barrier around the sewer," I informed by servant.

"I apologize, your majesty. The barrier is designed to be undetectable after it's cast, unless one was to use magic to specifically detect and examine it. Only the beast it is meant to contain if effected by it," he explained. From the little I knew about magic, barriers were definitely possible. An undetectable barrier that is designed to contain one thing in particular? I buy it.

"Who cast the barrier?" The who was important because the why was obvious. You don't cast a barrier designed to keep a Sphinx in a sewer for any reason other than to keep a Sphinx in a sewer. Why somepony would want that, I don't know. If I knew who did it though, I might be able to riddle it out or ask directly.

"The magic is distinctly unicorn, but the caster is unknown. Should I have a scout investigate its origin, your majesty?"

"You can do that?" The changeling nodded. "Then yes, please do it! That would be a huge help."

"Then it will be done," the armored changeling answered then turned to one of the changelings holding the mirror, "Stagger Fang, I'll leave it to you."

"What?" the two changelings began whispering to each other, probably thinking I couldn't hear, "But it's my turn to gather as Honey Pot tomorrow!"

"You should have considered that before you called his majesty 'old'," the superior changeling snarled. The changeling named Stagger Fang just grumbled, leaving his position on the mirror and causing his friend to struggle under the weight alone.

"I'll take that from you," I reached out and took the mirror off the changeling's back. The armored changeling dismissed his subordinate as I examined my handiwork.

"So... you guys actually have names?" I'd never heard a changeling call another changeling by name before.

"Yes, your majesty," the armored changeling confirmed.

"Mind telling me yours? And on top of that, do you have a rank or something?"

"I am Captain Gorehoof, your majesty."

"Gorehoof? Yeesh," with names like Gorehoof and Stagger Fang, you'd think they were named by a bunch of twelve year old MMO players. I stood up and held the mirror so I could examine myself a little better.

I'd successfully quarantined my beard to to my chin, keeping the hair under my chin away from my neck. I shortened up the sideburns and whacked down their length, just to make sure I didn't look like an English gentleman. I didn't mess around with the mustache much. I kept the thickness, but shortened it up so I didn't look like a wild man. I look pretty darn good if I do say so myself.

"If only I could do something about this hair." I took a strand of it and examined it.

"Good luck finding a barber, monkey boy."

"Whoa, Gorehoof," I scolded my subordinate, "Just because I know your name doesn't mean you get to call me names."

"I didn't say anything, your majesty," it struck me that he was telling the truth. I had recognized the voice, so I had assumed it was someone I knew. I looked around the room, thinking I'd see a familiar face.

"Look in your monkey paws, sasquatch."

I remembered the voice all at once. I looked down at the mirror in my hands, but it wasn't my own face in the glass.

"Discord!?" The grey draconequus looked right back at me. Normally, I'd picture him happy and smiling, but the Discord I was looking down at looked downright peeved.

"That's absolutely right! Tell him what he's won John! ... Nothing!"

"What do you want?" If Discord is contacting me, that can only mean he knows why the heck I'm in Equestria.

"What the heck are you doing in Equestria?" Or he could be as clueless as me. "Out with it you knuckle dragging gorilla!"

"I have no idea how I got here! Are you telling me you had nothing to do with this?"

"Are you kidding me?! I wouldn't bring someone like you to Equestria," Discord snarled at me, "Before I drag one of you monkeys into this world, I carefully screen you to make sure you'll cause chaos and plop you down just in the right place."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! You mean you have brought other humans into Equestria?"

"Your dimension and our dimension are very closely tied together. Transferring your kind to our world is one of the only ways I can spread chaos even while I'm imprisoned. Before I got sealed away the second time, I made darn well sure I kept one foot in the door between our two worlds."

"You can't just drag unsuspecting people out of their own homes and lives!"

"Why not?" Discord crossed his arms and glared at me. "Most of the guys and gals I bring over here thank me for the opportunity! They meet their idols, they fall in love, and they decide to stay forever. Do you know how much chaos is put out by your kind? The irrationality of their actions is tremendous, so I make sure the chimpanzees I bring over want to be here!" Discord was absolutely steamed. Even Fluttershy hadn't made him this peeved during the show. For some reason, his lack of cool made me feel more in control of the situation.

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Discord, but I'm taking the first bus out of Equestria. If you don't like me being here, I would gladly submit to being sent back," I offered earnestly.

"I couldn't do that even if I wanted too!" Discord shot my hopes down. "If you want to go back, you should try asking the rotten, no-good, monkey-loving pony who brought you here!"

"And who would that be?"

"I have no clue," Discord pouted, "But I've got a way to get rid of you that'll work just as well."

"What've you got in mind?"

"I'm just going to kill you." That wasn't the answer I was hoping for. I shook the mirror back and forth and watched Discord rattled around. When I stopped shaking, I watched him try to sit back down in the chair he apparently had with him wherever he was as his eyes spun in circles. I took the mirror and turned it upside down. Discord's body fell onto the floor like a heavy rope, quickly followed by his plastic, fold out chair.

"I see you're taking this well," Discord groaned. He stood back up and glared daggers at me, even more furiously than he had been before.

"There is no need to be upset," I smiled as serenely as I could manage.

"Considered my jimmies rustled, man bug! I don't like you. I already screened you prior to you coming here, and I did not like what I saw!" Discord huffed.

"Whaddya mean?" I didn't like the idea of Discord examining me to see if I was fit to wreak chaos in Equestria.

"I've never seen someone so ill-suited to wreak chaos. You've got no desire to abandon your home, you suppress your anger, and you're very close minded about getting it on with anything other than a human."

"If those are the criterion, I'm glad you passed me over."

"You've got no sense of adventure!"

"I don't know about that," I poked the glass right between Discord's eyes, "but only a coward runs away from their home and self-discipline is a virtue of those with true strength. Don't act like you know anything about me!"

"That's what I don't like," Discord began pouting again, "I really don't know anything about you. I can get inside the heads of the people I've sent here, but not you. I don't know what you're thinking, what you want, I don't even know what or who you had for breakfast today. I just sensed that you showed up. I'm happy I was able to contact you so soon because now I know you're better dead to me."

"Gee, and to think you were my favorite villain. I'm throwing my lot in with Chrysalis now."

"You're just biased! You know what? I shouldn't have wasted my precious energy reserves finding and contacting you. Hasta la vista, buggy!" Discord's face flickered away and was replaced by white noise, which was odd because it was on a mirror. I turned it over and smashed it against the rock I had been sitting on.

"Gorehoof!" I called to the changeling who had been standing by idly while I talked to the avatar of chaos.

"Yes your majesty?" he stood erect at attention. I turned to a section of the wall and began etching a message into it, one only I could read.

"I don't care how you do it, but I want you to take down what I've carving onto this rock and bring it to the hive. I want this same inscription on rocks near towns, in fields, in caves, rocks anywhere you see fit. Do not place them in plain sight, but be sure they can be found and examined. Then tell the hive this, 'if they encounter any creature, pony or not, that claims that it is human, bring them to King Cocoon'. Those are my orders, see to it that they are carried out."

"Yes, your majesty!" Gorehoof saluted, and I took my leave of the underground hideout. I changed back into my disguise and began trotting down the now dark streets. There was much, much more I wanted to attend to, but I needed to return to the mansion and resume my guise as Duncan Doughnuts. Upon arriving back at the mansion, I ran into a bit of trouble.

"Where have you been?" Aqua greeted me at the door.

"Out," I answered, "I got lost on my way back, so I settled on seeing the sights."

"We were worried sick about you!" Aqua let a trickle of genuine concern flow into my body. I'm glad to see I managed to make an impression on her, even if it is pretty weak.

"I'm a grown maaa-stallion! You don't need to worry about me," I assured her.

"If you say so." She neither looked or sounded like she was going to stop worrying about me. I announced I was tired and going to bed, then proceeded to my room. I kept wondering what could make her so worried though. I don't think staying out a bit too late merited such a mood swing. Did something happen while I was in the hideout?

I'm probably just over thinking things. Without sleep or video games, I didn't have any way to turn off my brain. Silly me, I need to stop thinking. I tried to switch off my brain while I waited for the right time to sneak off, but that wasn't happening. The least I could do was push the more pressing matters to the back of my mind. Instead of thinking about how there are more humans out there than me and how Discord now wants to see me dead, I thought about what cool changeling powers I hadn't tried out yet.

The only problem was I couldn't think of any other powers I should have. I'd tried shooting lasers, eating love, and changing into ponies. What else can a changeling do? I thought back to the episode the changelings had appeared in. I remembered the changelings using magic to turn themselves into living projectiles, but I'd kind of already done that when I fought Lou for the first time. There was also the slime thing, but after seeing how that was done, I wasn't in a hurry to try it.

There had to be something. I knew there was something I was forgetting about that episode. Something important had happened in that episode, and I mean something aside from Lyra talking.

...

Hold up... Lyra talking... bridesmaids... the caves... green eyes?

...

Oh Nonspecific Deity I have the ability to control minds.

The bridesmaids were totally Chrysalis's mind slaves! They weren't changelings because they got distracted by the bouquet. Speaking of that bouquet, I'd always wondered where Cadence pulled that out from. Hammerspace?

I had more pressing matters to attend to though. If I can mold a pony's mind to my will, I had to try that out. I shifted back into my normal body and jumped out the window, wondering if I was capable of hypnotism or full on mind control. I jumped from rooftop to rooftop, searching for somepony with a brain I could control. Then I saw him, a gift from Celestia herself, stumble drunkenly into an alleyway. An off white, blue maned, unicorn stallion with a very squishy and moldable looking brain. For my first mind controlling session, I imagine a squishy and moldable brain was desirable, and one saturated in alcohol is more apt for being controlled than a normal mind.

Making sure my target and nopony else was watching, I glided down from the rooftop and assumed my Duncan Doughnuts disguise. Before approaching my target, I had a thought: what if it didn't work? Duncan Doughnuts might get branded as some weird nighttime marauder. I ducked behind a garbage pail and shifted forms. I'd started out a tan, unicorn stallion, but emerged a mint green, unicorn mare. Seeing as Lyra had inspired this little escapade, she was a fitting pony to use in this situation. On top of that, if things go south Duncan's name will still be good and I could just call my target a lecher. Win-win!

Feels weird being a mare... I feel... strangely similar. I want to feel different, but I don't. Maybe it's me, maybe it's this body, but there really aren't any outstanding differences to note. Even the one you think would be bugging me isn't.

No time for distractions though, I've got to try controlling this pony's mind. The pony in question was on his back in an alley, waving his hooves in the air in an attempt to right himself. I decided to be a model citizen and help him back up, but he didn't thank me. Instead, he gave me the greasiest smile I've ever seen. The meaning behind it eluded me, until food started entering my system.

"Hey there sugar, do you know karate cuz... cuz I wanna make you brukfast," the stallion slurred. Now I don't feel so bad about what I'm about to do.

Using my horn, I began to weave my spell. This wasn't like anything I'd attempted before. Changing my body structure, healing myself, and devouring put the focus on my own body. This spell wasn't even like firing a projectile. My energy reached out into the mind of another being, a place swimming with foreign energies. The mind of another person is a frightening place. My job is to make this mind subservient to me.

How is it done? What makes the mind obey an order given to it? What makes a mind obey anything? The mind adheres to what it thinks is true. The mind will do or think anything if the right truth is impressed upon it. I need to find the truth that will make this pony do as I want.

...

No, there is no need to find it. There is a truth every mind simply wishes was true, and it's linked to a place in the mind of a pony that my changeling mind and magic is automatically drawn to: the part that decides what to do with love. With my spell, I bind that part with a lie, the lie the mind wants to hear.

With one last push, I watch the stallion's expression visibly shifted into a blank stare, but only momentarily. His pupils shrunk as his irises turned luminescent green. He looked even dumber and happier than he was before, but he didn't speak. He didn't move a muscle. The ball was in my court.

"What is your name?" I asked him.

"Unsewn Bolt," despite Unsewn's enamored expression, he spoke in a dull monotone. The dapper looking stallion, despite being outwardly enamored with my current mask, was not feeding me. I had been thinking that feeding through mind control would be like cheating, but I guess something in the control spell prevents a pony from loving. Food isn't the point of this exercise, control is. The question was what to do with this stallion?

"How can you be of use to me?" That was all I really wanted to know. If this guy wasn't useful, I could just set him loose and be done with him.

"I can make clothes," Unsewn droned his obligatory response. I stole a glance at his flank, noting the spool of thread and needle on it. I half expected Lou to jump out, but I guess she wouldn't care if Lyra Heartstrings was looking at somepony else's flank. She might even go so far as to call it progressive.

"Take me to your place of clothes making," I commanded him because for some reason having a hypnotized slave made me unable to talk like a normal person. I gave orders to the changelings normally, right? We weren't far from Unsewn's establishment, aptly named "Unsewn Designs". He unlocked the door and we went inside. Despite his previous state of mind, he was much more sober and coordinated since I worked my magic on him.

"Alright, let's get down to business." Upon entering the safety of his store, I changed into my true form. Thankfully, Unsewn didn't appear to be bothered that the mare he was gazing upon suddenly shifted into a huge monster. In fact, his utter lack of any reaction whatsoever was underwhelming.

"Look here Mr. Bolt," I started, "I might be making a public appearance in the future and I need to look my best. These rags aren't befitting of my office, so I want you to whip up something for me. As well as looking good, I need it to be light and not very restrictive. It still needs to show ponies that I am a king, but I am a busy king who has to slay a Sphinx and find his way home. Can you do that?"

"It will be done-"

"Excellent!"

"-my love."

...

I guess he actually believes I'm still Lyra. I'm not exactly sure what I did to his brain, but it certainly is potent.

Whilst Unsewn took measurements and did his clothes making thing, I pretended to read one of the magazines he had. I still have no idea how I'm going to learn to read. I wonder if the other changelings will teach me. On second thought, maybe I shouldn't tell them that I can't read. I don't know how they'd feel about an illiterate king. Literacy and intelligence is probably something they value, seeing as the scouts here have to convincingly act the part of a nurse every day.

It didn't take too long before I was standing before a mirror, decked out in my new duds. I wasn't the expert on kingly garb, but I did very much like what I was seeing. The top was a simple, tan vest with a trail of brown ovals along the waist. The pants were the same color of the vest and had the same pattern around the ankles. A blue sash adorned with triangles held the pants in place.

"This is good work, Mr. Bolt."

"Thank you," was his only reply. I admired myself a little more in the mirror. Kings came in many different sizes, shapes and types. Even if I didn't look like any king I knew, I now thought I looked like the king I was. I wasn't regal, royal, or even authoritative. Now I had the clothes to back it up. I was a king in name. I hadn't done anything to earn the title. Heck, I hadn't even been born into the title. I woke up a king, but I couldn't help but smile as I examined myself.

The spell I was using was scary. This wasn't what I'd asked for, but it was what I wanted. Our minds weren't connected, but our desires were. Unsewn Bolt wants to please Lyra and I wanted to look how I felt. Chrysalis had wanted her plan to go uninterrupted and the bridesmaids had wanted to make sure the wedding went perfectly. Those ponies went for that bouquet because their brains were switched into best wedding mode. If the real Lyra Heartstrings walked into the store right now, Unsewn Bolt wouldn't listen to a word I say.

I was thinking too much again. I told Unsewn that in ten minutes he will awaken from his trance and remember nothing that had happened in his store. I don't know if it'll work, but it's worth a shot. I morphed back into Duncan Doughnuts and hit the streets. Unsewn had done his duty for the day. It would be unfair to ask any more of him tonight. What more could I ask of him? The answer is simple:

I'm feeling hungry.

5th: Real Monsters

When you were little, did you believe there were monsters in your closet? Did you believe there were monsters under your bed? In the alleyways? Behind fences? In the dark? Try and remember what that monster was supposed to look like. Did it have claws and fangs? Was it slimy? Have multiple eyes? Did it breath fire and eat children?

Of course, you know now that there never was any monster in the closet. It was just the heater coming on or your dad flushing the toilet across the hall. The monster was just a sweater in your closet or a pile of clothes on the floor. There was nothing in the dark that wasn't there in the light.

For me, that last part rings oh so true. If being a human was like walking around my house with the lights on, being a changeling is like running around it in the dark. Things are confusing and scary, but I'm still in the same house. I'm still me on the inside. The things I'm doing, the things I've done, everything up until now is simply what me as a person would have done.

Isn't that a frightening thought? I'd feed on the innocent to save my own life. I did that! Me! No one held a gun to my head and said "eat their love"! I don't even think they have guns in this world.

You're probably wondering why I'm going off on this. Well, let's pick up where I last left off.

Dear Nonspecific Deity, when a changeling gets the rumblies in their tumblies they get it bad. You know what they say about being thirsty: if you're thirsty, you're already dehydrated. Well, the rule for changelings seems to be this: if you're hungry, you're already dying. I've got to eat something, and the sooner the better. I've been wandering around looking for something to eat, but I haven't had any luck so far. This might be easier if I knew the city a little better. I mean, this is a city, right? On Earth, if a dude finds himself in a city and he's looking for quick love, he's just got to locate the-

"Well hey there big boy."

And bingo was his name-o.

"You looking for a good time?" I turned and looked at the mares who were calling out from me from the opposite side of the street. There are three of them, and I guess all of them are what ponies consider "dolled up". The changeling part of me was telling me the appropriate term here was "garnished". As the smell of food invades my brain, the last of my sanity remembers my first encounter with Wrenchell and Aqua. The two of them had smelled and tasted like fine dining. These mares smelled more like carnival food. I wonder if changelings can get indigestion.

"Hey buddy, if you just look much longer we'll have to charge for that too," one of the mares complained. The last of my sanity was sucked away. The smell of food just drives me nuts, you know? I'm a king though, so this time I'm not just going to gorge myself like an idiot. That was a special and unrefined moment, but tonight I shall be truly royal in my actions.

Without even a fraction of the effort as before, I reached out into the minds of the mares before me and bound them to my will. It's such a simple technique, why did I struggle with it so much before? One as regal as me shouldn't have to stalk prey in such a roundabout manner.

"Let me feed," I demand. My subjects comply, but did they really have a choice? They brought this upon themselves. Isn't this what they want? Isn't this exactly why they're out here? I feel the love that's stocked up inside them begin to flow into me. It's a scant meal, but food is food. A king deserves a feast though. These mares are merely the appetizer.

"Bring me more," my regal voice decrees. The three mares, which I made sure not to drain fully of love, begin to lead me through the dark, city streets. The first pony we come across is a patrolcolt. When he sees me and three mares who are obviously up to no good, he takes out his flashlight and heads towards us. This oughta be fun.

"Stop right there! Where do you think you're going?" the pony asks. My minions stare at him blankly, but I can't help but sneer. May as well let the peon in on our secret.

"We're going to the feast, and you're invited!" The patrolcolt looks delectably shocked by what I've just said. He doesn't react fast enough as the three mares grab him and hold him down. He struggles against them, he struggles against my spell, but in the end he succumbs. I draw out his love and continue down the street with my now larger entourage.

"More..."

We run into a mare walking alone. We come across two young colts in an alley, both of them up to no good. We stumble upon a stallion and his daughter having an argument on the front stoop of their home. Our group meets three sanitary workers slacking off from their nighttime duties.

"Still more..."

I add a stallion walking his two dogs to the group. I add two mares in formal attire to my followers. I add a young filly who strayed a bit to far from home to my horde. A nurse leaving her night shift at the hospital joins the swarm.

"I want more..."

Two ponies join in. Three ponies get tacked on. We run into another pony and then another pony. We meet four ponies the next time. Next is one pony. Now we'll add these two.

"Bring me more..."

I'm on the inside of myself looking out. Somewhere in all of this, I'd converted back to changeling form. Right now I was using one of the stallions like a throne while I sent all the other ponies out to fetch me food. I don't know where they're getting these ponies from, but I don't care for some reason. This is wrong, I shouldn't be doing this. I can't be doing this. How is this even possible? Ponies crying and confused, begging for an explanation of why they've been brought here. Young ponies, old ponies, and everypony in between is brought in. Once I've taken the majority of their love, I send them off to find me more food.

When you eat food, you only taste it and feel it fill you up. When you're on the inside though, you see it getting chewed up. Love isn't made of bread, meat, or stuff like that. No, I'm chewing up thoughts, feelings, and all matter of things I can't explain. I hear voices, I experience powerful longings, and I feel comforting hooves. The feelings are there, then they're mushed up and turned into something wicked, but that something wicked sustains me. It's my lifeblood, but to the ponies who provided me with it, it's poison.

I'm on the move again. My conscious isn't at the helm, but something inside me is telling me it's time to finish the meal off. Wherever I've gone, there are guards. I drain them as my massive herd begins wreaking the place. I go through a gate, then a door, then up stairs, and all the while it feels very familiar. I've been here before.

My eyesight is hazy, but I suddenly see a pony very clearly. A pony who once genuinely cared for my safety and reached out to me out of kindness: Aqua. I scream out to halt, but my mouth and body don't obey. I add her to my collection, but I'm not done yet. I turn back into Duncan Doughnuts and continue on my own. I knock on a door I've never seen before and call out.

"Mayor Marine! It's me, open up!" No sooner do I ask than Mayor Marine opens the door swiftly and lets me in. He redoes all the locks and rushes to me.

"Duncan! Thank heavens you're alright! What's going on, where's Aqua?"

"Aqua is safe, sir. I made sure of it," I lie. He looks so relieved by it. What a pure and innocent man. More concerned with the safety of his daughter than his own well-being. Why am I here and lying to him? What in all that is good's name have I been doing? I've got to stop! I've absolutely got to stop!

"Any idea what this mob is? Why are they attacking?" the Mayor asks. The sudden increase in volume in his voice causes me to jump. In fact, the general increase in volume is scaring the heck out of me. Do I smell smoke?

"Mayor!" I shout, my body obeying me again. "I'll take care of it! You stay here!" I turn and begin unlatching the door.

"I can't let you go alone Mr. Doughnuts!" the Mayor tried to stop me. Unfortunately, one of these locks needs a key. If I want to leave and fix this, I need to get it from him.

"Mayor."

"Yes, Mr. Doughnuts?"

"I'll make this up to you later."

"Pardon?" I reach out into his mind with my magic. What had been so darn simple a moment ago became incredibly difficult. The Mayor's brain actively struggled against the magic I was forcing onto it. My reserves of energy were larger than they'd ever been, so it was simply a matter of out muscling his mind. It took three whole minutes, but he became obedient.

"I'm so, so sorry! Please just give me the key and forget all about what happened," I pleaded. The Mayor complied, smiling warmly all the while. That just made me feel even worse. Just out of curiosity, I reached back into his mind and felt around the epicenter of his love. It appeared to be completely closed off, but I'd somehow been breaking and entering the love supplies of ponies all night. I can't imagine how I went about it, but I don't have to. There is no excuse to having to resort to feeding off ponies whose minds I'm controlling.

I exited the Mayor's office, tossing his key back to him as I closed the door behind me. Sure enough, ponies who are supposedly under my control are running rampant through the mansion. I was trying to think of a way to stop a giant mob, but since they're under my control they should obey my commands.

"Stop!" Everypony in the place stopped moving. That was easy enough. What next?

"Everypony go to sleep and... uh... stop being controlled by me?" Once again, everypony in the place obeyed, each of them falling to the floor and closing their eyes. I wandered towards the entrance of the mansion, surveying the destruction. All of this is my fault. I dragged these ponies out of their peaceful lives. I'd taken their love from them. Why had I come here? Why did I go completely bonkers? What the heck is wrong with me?

Now I'm sitting at the entrance of the mansion, just brooding. Policeponies and medics came eventually and they asked me what happened. I told them that the King of the Changelings had happened. They didn't believe me, but there was one pony among them who payed heed to my words.

"So he is in the city." Lou's sudden appearance caught me off guard. I just nodded in response. "Then we can't waste any time. Let's go."

"Go where?" I mumble. I'm really not in the mood for chasing myself around anymore tonight.

"The sewers." I look up at her. She looks down at me, dead serious.

"Why go now?"

"It's the only place we haven't checked." I know that isn't true. "It might be dangerous, but the King of the Changelings could be down there." She hadn't thought that earlier. "If we go now, we might catch him retreating." She reaches out a hoof to help me up. I take it and pull myself up, but I know she's lying to me. I've got a terrible feeling in my gut, even worse than when I realized the massive amounts of chaos I'd incurred tonight. I seem to recall a certain draconequus thinking I didn't have it in me. As we made our way out of what was quickly becoming the site of a major disaster, I let my curiosity get the better of me.

"Did you plan on going to the sewers all along?"

"To be honest, I decided we should probably check them out. I told Aqua and Wrenchell about it, but you weren't around so I couldn't tell you. The plan was for me and you to go to the sewers while Aqua and Wrenchell look about town."

Sirens were going off in my head. Lou tells Aqua she's going to bring me to the sewer. Aqua freaks out afterwards when I get back from being gone too long. The three investigators reject going into the sewer in the first place. I don't know why, but something tells me they're worried about more than cave ins. Were their worries Sphinx shaped? I'm jumping to conclusions. I don't have any evidence to that effect.

...

Why am I so darn worried?

"Down here." Lou levitated a marehole cover out of it's resting place. After awkwardly descending into the sewer by climbing down the ladder on hooves, we were in. Lou lit up her horn, revealing that the stretch of sewer we were in was no different from the sewer I'd been in before. It was murky, dark, and wet. You know, the whole shebang.

We started walking. We walked and walked down the dark sewer passageways. It could be my mind playing tricks on me, but I feel like Lou is traveling very purposefully. She hasn't once stopped to consider moving down one branch of the sewer or the other and she's been keeping up her quick pace for a while now. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she has a destination in mind.

"Hey, Duncan," Lou broke the silence that had been maintained for so long.

"Need something?"

"Have any regrets?" I stopped dead in my tracks. She must have anticipated this because she swung around and faced me after asking the question. Nobody asks that kind of question unless the possibility of death is in the range of extremely likely to certain. I didn't care if I was jumping to conclusions anymore. That feeling in my gut wasn't coming from there being no threat at all.

"Just one," I growled, "trusting you."

"Good answer!" The sewer shook as something dropped down behind me. I knew the voice, so I didn't have to turn and face the Sphinx to know he'd shown up. I turned and looked at him anyway, knowing all to well what the beast was capable of.

"What are you doing Charon? Just eat him already," Lou complained. Her voice didn't indicate her having any qualms with Charon here eating me.

"This pony has a good head on his shoulders," Charon laughed. "I'm a reasonable Sphinx. For amusing me, he should get the answer to one question before he dies."

"Whatever," Lou grunted. Okay, I know she hates me, but I didn't think she'd want me to get eaten. I don't plan on dying here... but I really don't see this going any other way. I could ask "how do I get home", but that would be a moot point. Maybe I should ask him to divide by zero, just for kicks. No, I'd better go with a serious question.

"Why is Lou feeding me to you?" I asked just as bravely as I could.

"Well, that's an interesting story, isn't it Lou?" Charon smirked. Lou didn't say anything, she just displayed her impatience by flicking her tail. "You see, Lou here was at the top of her game up until a few months ago. She was an investigator for the Manehattan police and one of the mayor's closest advisers. She realized how fragile her position was and was stressed out most everyday. Then she found me!" Charon spread his wings and glided over next to Lou.

"You see I'm a Sphinx, a creature born to rule of cities. I see everything that goes on, big and small, in this city. Lou is a clever girl. See she trapped me here with her spell, basically condemning me to starve to death. I started messing up the sewer to attract the repair crews down for me to survive on, but the mayor pulled the plug on that. I was sure I was going to die."

"I could still see what was going on in the city though, and I noticed that Lou was refusing to investigate what he mayor thought was random incidents in the sewers. Her refusal to fulfill her duty got her kicked out of the police, and that's when she revealed her plan to me. The deal was this: she brings me ponies to eat and I give her information that lets her solve cases. Good deal, right?" I cast my gaze on Lou.

"You would've done the same thing," she accused.

"You'd let innocent ponies die so you can keep solving crimes?"

"None of them were innocent." She shook her head slowly. "I fed him criminals to catch criminals. It was all justice."

"That's not justice, it's just murder! What would Wrenchell or Aqua say if they knew you're doing this?"

"They don't need to know."

"So you admit that it would look bad!"

"Charon, eat him already," Lou grunted. Well this was bound to happen. I turned to run down the sewer, but Charon swooped around and cut me off. He advanced on me, raising his claws to strike me.

"Oh! Where are my manners?" Charon suddenly retracted his claws and sat down in front of me. "I forgot the riddle."

"Charon! Stop screwing around!" Lou barked. Charon guffawed in response.

"Oh please, there's no way he's going to get it right anyway." Charon licked his chops... his lamb chops... he-he. Oh jeez, this immanent death thing is making me loopy. "Answer me this pony: what walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs at night?"

Wait a second... I know this one! The answer is "a man", but there aren't any "men" in Equestria. C'mon something bipedal, something bipedal, something bipedal...

"A minotaur?" The effect of the correct answer was instantaneous. Charon's body froze in place and crusted over with grey stone. His statue still looked ironically smug. I turned and faced Lou, who appeared quite shaken.

"Lemme guess, you were going to sacrifice me to find the Changeling King?" I feigned anger. Truth be told, I was so freaking happy I wanted to dance a jig. I ain't gonna get eaten!

"You idiot! The Changeling King was my ticket back onto the force!" Lou growled.

"You see, that's what I don't get," I grunted. "If you want to be on the force, why did you refuse to turn in the Sphinx? That's what got you kicked out in the first place, and plus a Sphinx is just as good as a Changeling King."

"Idiot," she flat out insulted me. "A Changeling King could easily best a Sphinx."

"He could?" Please, tell me more!

"A Sphinx might be intelligent, but it's still just a monster. It has no defense against a Changeling King's Mind Poisoning."

"Mind Poisoning?"

"That mob that attacked the Mayor's house? They were all poisoned by the King. The poison gives him control over their actions! A monster that can control other creatures and ponies like that needs to be stopped! I kept the Sphinx down here because I knew I could control him! I could use his powers to benefit this city. I am using his powers for the good of this city!"

"I can't let you continue on like this, Lou."

"And I can't let you blab my secret." Crackling energy began gathering in Lou's horn. "Charon has accepted dead bodies in the past. He'll break out of there soon enough, and when he does he'll be hungry."

"So... it's gonna come down to this?" I sighed.

"Any last words?"

"Just one." I have been waiting to do this for so long. "Surprise!" I shifted back into my normal form. The sight caused Lou to lose her concentration as she gaped up at me.

"No... way," I didn't hesitate. I reached out with my magic and snagged her mind, but that turned out to be a mistake on my part. Lou's mind was soldered shut against my magic, and the expression on her face told me she knew full well I'd just realized that. She charged her horn and shot a blast at me. I countered with a blast from my own finger. The magical collision caused an explosion, the brunt of which I must have took as I got knocked back into the stone Charon. Lou was still advancing on me, charging another bolt in her horn.

"When I found out the King of the Changelings was here, I made sure to find and prepare the spell that blocks changeling magic. It's a fairly common spell, so casting it was a no brainer for a genius like me." Lou dipped her horn down and released the blast. There was nowhere to run and blasting it with my own magic would just make it explode in my face. As my mind slowed everything into slow motion, I tried to formulate some brilliant escape plan.

...

... Nope, nothing.

Blasting it was my only option, but in my panic I threw out both hands in protection. The entire tunnel flashed green as a dense and writhing beam of green energy jumped from my hands. Lou's attack got pulverized. My attack survived the the collision and made a beeline right for Lou. Lou tried to jump out of the way, but my attack caught her on her hind leg.

The effect was akin to what I always imagined being struck by lighting was like. Even if the lighting grazes you, the current flows through your body and fries you. Lou's body lit up violently with green sparks as she screamed and writhed in pain. When the display was over, the tunnel went dark. Lou's horn had been lighting the place, so I lit up my hand and inspected my handiwork.

I checked Lou's body, confirming that I hadn't actually killed her. Even if she was technically evil, I didn't want to kill her. Sure, she would have blasted me to bits without a second thought, but that's no excuse. Besides, I was still pondering how I shot that huge bolt of energy. I looked down at my hands and thought hard.

...

"Your majesty, I would ask you to be careful where you point your horns like that."

"Careful where you point your horns like that."

"Your horns."

"Horns"

How could I be so stupid! Heck, I'd even realized it the first time I thought my fingers were horns! All my fingers were horns, but I'd just been doing the blasting with one finger! For maximum effect, I must utilize all the horns I have! Sweet.

With that out of the way, I turned back to the stone Charon. There was still one thing that was bugging me about all this.

"If you know everything that happens in this city... how come you didn't know I was Duncan Doughnuts?"

*Crack*

...

The statue smiled even wider than it had been. I backed off as Charon shone with red light, causing the stone around his body to melt away. This was bad, bad, bad. It was perfectly bad!

"I did know, bug. I just needed you to do something for me, and what a fine job you did!" Charon chuckled.

"Explain yourself... better yet, I'll just make you!" I reached out for him with my magic, but Charon leapt into the ceiling, literally into it. The Sphinx touched the ceiling, and with an ominous red glow melted into it. I thought he'd escaped, but then I heard his laughter echoing through the sewer.

"I have to say, it's such a huge stroke of luck that you've come here, changeling! The last time you knocked her out cold right outside the city, the barrier went down, but I didn't realize it until it was too late! I was going to eat you initially, but then I came up with this great plan to have you knock that accursed unicorn out for me again! The barrier is gone and now it is my turn to feast! Ta-ta!" The sewer went silent.

Is it just me, or does everything I do just make things worse than before?

6th: Rollercoaster

The key to success in any situation is to get rid of any preconceived notions. You must walk into a situation knowing that you don’t know anything for sure about it. Just know your objective and your limits, and you can turn the outcome in your favor. Trust your own objective judgments and form your own subjective opinions and feelings. This is the first key to success.

Before I climbed out of the marehole, I turned back into Duncan Doughnuts. I could have assumed there would or would not have been ponies when I emerged, but I opted to simply transform so I wouldn’t have to worry about it either way. When I walked out into the panic-stricken streets in the growing dawn, I made sure to assess exactly why all the ponies were in such a state. I could have assumed it was Charon, but I didn’t. The exact origin of their distress wasn’t immediately evident, but they kept looking towards the sky. It wasn’t long before I saw the streak of red that was zipping about the sky. Even from on the ground, I could tell it was Charon. I took to my hooves and went after him, which was easier said than done since he’s faster than me and has the ability to fly.

You might ask, why be so thorough? The answer is simple: I’m done screwing up. This time I’m going to be careful and calculated. This time I’m not going to make any mistakes. This time, when all gets said and done, everything will be perfect. I’ve done nothing but trip over my own ignorance since I arrived in Equestria, so it’s well past time that I got my act together.

Charon far more mobile than I am. I follow his contrail in one direction, but he gets away and changes directions. At this rate, I’m going to run myself ragged before I encounter him. Not only is Charon moving quickly, but whatever kind of magic he has allows him to fly while his body is stone. The result is a high-velocity and durable projectile that causes quite a bit of damage when he touches down, evident by the pillars of debris that rises up whenever he dips under the skyline. He isn’t spending much time on the ground, which makes catching him near impossible. I just need one shot at him with my magic, but getting that shot will require speed.

I duck into an alleyway. I make sure it’s empty before plotting my next course of action. If I called out the swarm, they might be able to help slow Charon down, but I don’t want to waste time going to get them for a plan that just “might” help. I needed something sure-fire. I needed something with the mobility to chase Charon and the speed to catch him. Only one pony springs to mind.

Turning into Rainbow Dash poses a whole slew of problems though. First off, I don’t know how to fly. I said it once and I’ll say it again: having wings isn’t equal to being able to fly. On the same premise, being Rainbow Dash isn’t the same as being Rainbow Dash. Secondly, pegasi can’t do magic. Even if I did manage to catch Charon, I’d have to transform into something else to seal the deal. I needed a different plan. Judging by the sounds of panic and the increased frequency with which I’m hearing crashes, I need a different plan fast.

The first thing that springs to mind is to go alicorn and chase him down, but the alicorns I know of would attract far too much attention. I don’t want ponies thinking changelings had anything to do with Charon. Turning into a princess is a big no-no if one wants to avoid detection.

I decide to throw chasing and catching Charon out the window. Luring him to me seems to be the next best option. Even if he isn’t staying on the ground, he is still going to the ground. If I can predict where he’s going to crash land, I could catch him before he flies off. It’s a sketchy plan, but it’s the only one that’s viable right now.

I wander back into the streets and search for Charon. He’s still dive-bombing the city streets. Keeping one eye on him, I try and find a point at which he’s touched down. It doesn’t take too long before I turn a corner and find a sizable hole in the middle of the road. I look around for some sign of why Charon would attack this point in particular, but it just looks like a normal hole to me. Before I can conjecture he had destroyed his target, a rather calm pony approached me.

“Good day, your majesty,” the crimson stallion greeted me. “It’s me, Stagger Fang. I came to report on my findings.” There was another explosion in the distance, but Stagger Fang didn’t flinch. Something tells me the changelings aren’t very invested in the well-being of the city.

“Sorry, but you’re a bit late. I already know who it was,” I explained to him.

“Very well, your majesty. I’ll just head back n-”

“Hold it!” I stopped him. Stagger Fang stood rigid at attention. “We’ve got a bit of a Sphinx problem. Any ideas on how to stop it?”

“Of course, your majesty.” I eagerly awaited any suggestions on how to bring down this menace once and for all. “We wait.”

…

“Why would we do that?!” I felt bad about yelling at the guy, but he honestly suggested the very last thing I wanted to do I glared at the now visibly shivering Stagger Fang as I hoped he had some darn good justification for his suggestion.

“Well, your majesty, the barrier isn’t receiving any power right now, once it kicks back in the Sphinx will be forced back inside it.” This barrier I keep hearing about was getting cooler and cooler.

“So we just need Lou to wake back up?” Stagger Fang gave me a funny look. “Lou is the nickname of the pony who put up the barrier.” Stagger Fang quickly nodded. “Okay… so, just to be sure, is there any way the Sphinx could prevent getting sucked back in?”

“Yes, your majesty.” Stagger Fang confirmed. He didn’t say anything further, so the two of us stood motionless in silence as chaos unfolded all around us.

“Well… what is it?” I went ahead and asked. I was starting not to like Stagger Fang.

“The Sphinx would have to destroy the barrier.”

“And he could do this by…”

“Destroying the focal point, your majesty.” I started connecting dots in my head. Charon is a hungry Sphinx, but he’s not eating ponies. He is instead crashing into the city streets over and over. I just discovered he has until Lou comes around to destroy the “focal point” of the barrier that holds him in the sewer so he doesn’t have to get trapped again. He must be trying to destroy the focal point so he can be free forever and eat ponies to his heart’s content! Only one question remained.

“Where is the focal point? Take me to it!” I honestly have no idea what a focal point is when talking about magic and barriers and whatnot, but that’s not important. What is important is preventing Charon from destroying it.

“This way your majesty.” Stagger Fang trotted off, a little slower than the urgency of the situation merited. As we leisurely made our way through the policeponies and panicking citizens of Manehattan alike, I kept an eye out for Charon. I could see pegasi darting around the sky, attempting what I had thought about doing. Not to my surprise, they weren’t seeing any success.

I was sure in my current plan. If I stood over his target, he’d have to come to where I’m at eventually. All I need is one clear shot to take him down. If he doesn’t attempt to come after me, Lou will come back around and re-establish her barrier, effectively trapping Charon in the sewers again. It would be much, much easier to find and defeat him down there. Plus, I could do so in my own body.

My mind drifted to the barrier Charon was subjected to. It was like the opposite of the changeling barrier that was over Canterlot. When up, changelings couldn’t get through, but when it was down changelings could do as they pleased. When the barrier turned back on, it was bye-bye changelings. That barrier kept stuff out, this one keeps stuff in. The magic in this world is extremely fascinating.

“Here we are, your majesty.” I looked around. Lou is quite the trouble-maker, isn’t she? She put the focal point for the barrier right out in front of the Mayor’s Mansion! There were more ponies around here than I would like, but I have to put my plan into action quickly.

“Thank you. Report back to base immediately.” Stagger Fang bowed and trotted off, faster than he had when he brought me to the focal point. His priorities are so transparent.

Now came the waiting game. Either Charon was going to attack or he wasn’t going to attack. I had to be ready for his attack, especially since there are so many fireponies and paramedics in this area. For a moment, I reach out with my magic and feel the ground. There was definitely something here. Was it a focal point? I’d just have to trust Stagger Fang.

A sudden crash jarred me from my own little world. The ponies around me began shouting and fleeing. Standing before me, as smug as ever, was Charon. He’d landed a few yards away, and this time he’d obviously come down to see me. As he began plodding up to me, I got ready to strike.

“I see and hear everything that happens in this city, so don’t think I didn’t notice you consorting with your servant. Well, I’ve got to thank you for sniffing out the focal point. Now, step aside,” Charon commanded.

“You don’t get to boss me around, monster. I’m going to put you down.”

“Is that a threat?” Charon laughed, picking up his pace.

“I’m just filling you in on what’s going to happen.” Charon jumped, bleating fiercely as he flew up, looped around, and then dived down towards me. I reach out with the Mind Poison while he’s off the ground. With no way to dodge, Charon folds a wing and stops the incoming spell. I expect it to latch on, but the spell dissipates the moment it hits the solid surface. Without a successful attack, I was left with an angry Sphinx coming at me. I formulated and switched to Plan B: blast him.

I gathered what I could in the brief slice of time I had and fired it at Charon. He swatted the attack with his front paw, but it was a mistake on his part. He bleated in pain as a jolt of green energy shot through his body. His wings twitched and flared out, causing him to nosedive into the street before he reached me. A few ponies who were in hiding around the scene poked their heads out and cheered. I wished I could tell them it was over, but I know Charon better than that.

After picking himself up, Charon jumped back a few feet. He’d managed to close a lot of distance, but that just gives me a clearer shot.

“That… you’ve gotten a bit better,” he chuckled. I could be wrong, but he sounded concerned for a moment. I don’t give him any more time to rest. I reach out with my spell again, but Charon bats it away with his paw. At this point, I think it’s safe to assume I need to hit his head directly. “Alright, I was going to eat you, but now I’ll settle for just squashing you!” Charon took to the air again, flying up and away from where I stood. Once he became just a speck in the brightening sky, there was a flash of red. Based on previous experiences today, I know what’s coming next.

I charge up a projectile in my horn. I’ve probably got one shot at this, so I can’t leave anything to chance. The green light growing on my forehead lights up the faces of all the ponies brave enough to peek out to see what’s going on. Many of them duck back into cover, anticipating what’s coming next. I take aim at the dive-bombing Charon, knowing for certain his target is the focal point I’m standing on top of. With my horn pointed right at Charon and Charon careening through the air at me, I wait. I wait until he’s just close enough to me and the ground before firing off a radiant bolt of green directly at him.

I couldn’t have been more pleased to see my attack headed on a crash-course with Charon. Charon banked up, allowing the bolt to pass harmlessly under him, but that’s what I’d hoped he’d try. Without enough time to correct his flight path, Charon slams right into the ground behind me, causing an eruption of concrete and dirt. I hit the deck, protecting my head from debris with my hooves. The cacophony dies down and I get back onto all four hooves so I can inspect the crater.

…

Well, it’s a pretty nice crater. Good diameter, nice depth, and its shape is a near perfect circle. It would be completely satisfactory for me, except there is no Sphinx inside it. The other ponies are also looking around, trying to locate the missing monster. I looked in the sky, but there was no sign of him there either. If he wasn’t here on the streets or up in the sky, that means he must have…

“Shrimp tacos!” I jumped backwards as just as quick as these hooves would allow. It was just in the nick of time too. Charon burst up through the ground, creating a Sphinx sized hole where I’d just been standing. As he flew upwards into the sky, a crackling ball of energy formed in the hole he’d just made. It was visible only for a second before it threw a few stray bolts of silvery energy off and then exploded. I assumed the worst about what the display meant.

“Checkmate!” Charon landed with a thud right behind me. I scuttled backwards away from him before he could open me up with a swipe from his claws. “That’s the last I’ll see of that wretched barrier! I feel like celebrating! How about doughnuts filled with bugs?!” No more barrier? A snappy one-liner? Did I screw up again?

“Uh… can a dude get some help here?” I look around at the ponies who’d been watching the whole time, but none of them budged. A lot of them just turned tail and ran. You know you’re in trouble when you ask peace-preaching, pastel-painted ponies for help.

“It was a valiant effort, but I’m afraid it’s over.” Charon bleated and lunged straight at me, both paws extended and wings flared. I grimace as his massive forelegs wrap around me. He rears up on his hind legs and begins squeezing the life out of me.

“Yeeeer, *cough* ntvry… smmm!”

“What was that?” Charon sneers at me, loosening his grip for a moment so I can get a single breath in to speak my final words.

“You’re not very smart!” I touch my horn to his forehead as he looks down at me, creating a direct line from his brain to mine. The spell doesn’t miss this time because there is no way it could miss. His mind is not near as complex as a pony’s. It’s intelligent no doubt, but it is driven by instinct. It’s only love is the love that drives it to obey it’s simple desires. By binding it, I become the sole provider of those instincts.

Charon is my puppet.

“Alright, let’s make this look convincing,” I whisper to him as his vice grip descends to a hug. I build up small amount of energy in my horn and let it burst with a flash. There is no force behind it, but Charon fakes a dramatic fall backwards and drops me onto my hooves. Charon gets back onto his paws and comes at me again, but this time I bound and greet him. He swipes at me with a paw, but I avoid it with a beautiful flourish just before bucking him on his snout. He bleats in protest and swings at me with his claws a few more times. The whole fight is choreographed by yours truly, so I avoid all the attack easily while giving the Sphinx his licks.

“Big finish,” I whisper to myself, but Charon understands it too. I zap him with a perfectly harmless bolt of energy, but Charon rears up and turns to stone. The ponies who are watching cheer widely as I charge up the final blow in my horn. This shot has to legitimately finish him off, so I spare no expense in charging it up. Compared to my hands, the horn feels like a very rigid spell weaving device, so the shot I produce is a clean, straight bolt of green. The attack nails the statue of Charon right on the head, sending a shower of rock in every direction. When the dust clears, a headless statue stands before me. As if to dispel any doubt that Charon is done and gone, the rest of the statue crumbles to pieces before my eyes.

I waited for something else to happen. I waited for Charon to reappear or some other monster to pop out and attack, but neither of those things happened. What did happen, though, was pretty sweet.

All the ponies who had been in hiding came out and swarmed me. They cheered, applauded, and lifted me into the air. I felt their admiration start to feed me. Each pony was feeding me a mere trickle of energy, but as more and more ponies joined in the celebration all those trickles added up. I was feasting, and I was doing it without harming a single pony.

The ponies set me down on the stairs to the Mayor’s Mansion. They began to shake my hoof and hug me, all without asking me. I didn’t care though. I was psyched to have my first true victory. Just when I thought things couldn’t get better, Mayor Marine appeared.

“Mr. Doughnuts! Ponies have been telling me you vanquished a Sphinx?” Mayor asked me, taking my hoof and shaking it vigorously.

“Just trying to help out.” This is way too crazy for my first few days here. I’m glad the whirlwind of events has ended with me on top though.

“You’ve done more than help out! Ponies reported they saw it come out of the sewers, so it’s appearance explains the trouble we’ve been having these days! We can finally get down there and make repairs thanks to you! I say Mr. Doughnuts, you’ve got a knack for fighting off the nasty beasties!” I can barely hear Mayor Marine over the cheering crowd. If they keep indulging me like this, I’m going to get fat. Can changelings get fat? I hope not! If I can stay here like this in Manehattan, I’d never go hungry again.

This is just what I needed. This is just-

“Stop right there!” an all too familiar voice screams from the crowd. The ponies part, revealing a very peeved Lou. I’d forgotten about her, but it’s a good thing she showed up.

“Mayor Marine!” I point a hoof at Lou. “Arrest that mare! She was the one keeping the Sphinx down in the sewers!” The crowd collectively gasped and began murmuring with one another.

“That is a serious allegation, Mr. Doughnuts!” Mayor Marine turned to Lou. “Miss Louise, is it true?”

“Mayor Marine,” Lou calmly said. “You can’t trust anything Duncan Doughnuts says… because Duncan Doughnuts is actually Cocoon, King of the Changelings!” There was no collective gasp from the crowd. There were a few isolated snickers, but everypony else said nothing.

“T-that is an even more serious allegation, Miss Louise! Serious, but also completely unfounded and ridiculous! Why would a changeling fight off a Sphinx like that?” Mayor Marine posed a good question. The answer was “because he’s a cool dude who does stuff like that because he’s cool”, but for now it was better to let on that no such changeling and Sphinx confrontation actually happened.

“Ask him yourself!” Lou shouted. A tendril of silvery energy spiraled forth from her horn. Before I could react, the energy engulfed me. I feared the worst, but as the spell settled in I didn’t feel any pain. In fact, the spell actually felt kind of good. I felt like I was being massaged and unfolded from a sight space. The spell felt so natural, my body and mind just went along with it until the spell reached its conclusion.

Ponies in the crowd began to cry in terror.

I only had to look down at my hand to know what Lou’s spell had done. The jig was up and I’d been unmasked.

“Behold! This is the true face of your hero!” Lou proclaimed, stepping towards the stairs. I glared down at her. I know this is my own fault for revealing myself in the sewer, but I can still turn this around.

“So what? I am Cocoon and I am King of the Changelings! What of it?” I asked the crowd. My heart sinks as I feel the streams of love cut off until total extinction. They don’t trust me any longer. They don’t admire me at all. They don’t love me anymore.

“Stand down!” I turn and look at the guard ponies who had replaced Mayor Marine at my side.

“You’ve got to listen to me! I’m not here to-“

“He’s a monster!” somepony shouts from the crowd. I turn and face the crowd.

“No! I need your help!”

“Get out of our city!”

“I just wanted to-“

“He’s going to eat us!”

“No, I only-”

“Kill it!”

“Please, I-“

“Down with King Cocoon!” Lou shouted. “Down with King Cocoon!”

“Down with King Cocoon!” somepony else joins in on the chant.

“Down with King Cocoon!” another pony shouts.

“Down with King Cocoon!” More and more ponies start joining in.

“Down with King Cocoon!” the entire crowd demands.

“Down with King Cocoon!” an entire city curses me. The crowd is closing in on me and the guard ponies have begun advancing on me as well. In the air above me, pegasi are also circling down towards me. All the while, my ears are filled with their chant.

“Down with King Cocoon! Down with King Cocoon! Down with King Cocoon!”

“Enough!” I scream. My magic creates an involuntary shockwave, pushing ponies who are too close backwards. All at once their rage disappears. Fear sets into their faces as I make the final transition into monster in their minds. They’ve formed a wide circle around me, but now they don’t dare make it any smaller. It’s just like when I fought that Sphinx. Too bad I can’t be the hero this time. Instead, Lou steps into the improvised arena.

“This ends today, Cocoon.” Lou is the last pony I thought would step up to fight.

“Tell them about the Sphinx, Lou. Tell them the truth,” I urge her.

“Fine,” she grunts. “Truth is you put that Sphinx down there so you could pretend to be a hero. It was your mind slave all along.” Some ponies in the crowd muster up the courage to boo and hiss at me. I should have known Lou had the gall to add on to her lie.

“You don’t want to do this Lou. You know what happened the last two times,” I warn her.

“Those were flukes. This time is real.” Lou’s horn flashes as it starts building up energy. She point her horn at me, getting ready to unleash everything she can muster. I don’t know why she’s banking on one huge attack, I can avoid it by simply…

There are ponies to my left and ponies to my right. There are ponies up above and ponies all around me. The only break in the crowd is directly behind me where the doors to the Mayor’s Mansion are. Lou has me cornered and she knows it. She knows I won’t endanger the innocent citizens of Manehattan. I know she doesn’t care who gets hurt in the crossfire, as long as she wins.

My principles won’t allow me to let her win.

For a while now, I’ve been using magic the way I believe magic should be used. I need to get rid of all notions I have about magic. I need to forget them and remember the basics. The intensity of the events around me slip away as I recall the most basic of basics I’ve been taught.

Breath in through the nose and down into the gut. Fill slowly from the bottom to the top. Release the breath gently from bottom to top. Repeat this process.

Breathing is the first thing to learn when learning anything, so it makes sense to me to go back to it for magic. Magic is like a muscle; it has reflexes and can be worn out. I need to stop treating it so distantly and accept it. Thanks to the crowd’s former support, I have more energy than I’ve ever had. I am going to stop Lou’s attack plain and simple

I take a breath in as Lou releases a massive, crackling, silver bullet right at me. As I take my breath out, I reach out my hands and let magic flow out of them as naturally as releasing a breath. When the magic collides with my hands, there is already a barrier of green energy protecting me. I feel the massive impact against the barrier. It’s the same feeling as stopping a swinging sandbag with your hands. I slid backwards a bit, evidence that the protective barrier I’ve erected is an extension of my body. Lou’s attack comes to a close. The crowd looks like it’s having trouble believing what it just saw. The look on Lou’s face is priceless. I don’t have time to appreciate it. I must strike while the iron is hot and make hot the iron by striking.

I take a breath in and release it as I jump as high as I can manage. Taking a breath in, I raise my hands towards heaven. In response, my magic collects in a neat sphere in my hands. No crackling energy, just a soft radiance sitting in my hands. I breath out and turn my hands quickly towards the earth. The sphere I’d crafted sails back towards the ground, right into the center of the clearing the ponies made for me and Lou. Lou tries to escape, but the tightly bound circle refuses to make way.

The impact of my attack results in an explosion and a bright flash. As a glide lazily over the scene, I watch my very under-dramatic attack finish up. There is no crater, only a dense singe mark where the attack hit. Lou appears badly burned, but her cries of agony are evidence to her survival.

The ponies on the ground and in the air watch me, but none dare make a move. When I land down in the street, panic returns. Ponies run every which way to escape from me, as authorities try to calm them as an excuse to avoid confronting me.

I don’t really care for this scene. It’s so chaotic, nopony notices a rather calm pony walk right up to me.

“Your majesty, there is a scout from the Hive here to see you.”

“Lead the way.” The changelings are not at all invested in the well-being of this city.

7th: Hive Sweet Hive

There is still panic in the streets above me. After assaulting Lou like that, there is no way they'll ever listen my pleas for help. When news of the incident spreads to other towns, there will be no sanctuary for me. It isn't even my fault. I had nothing but the best of intentions, but my plans were foiled by the one pony with the worse intentions. The citizens deserve a hero like Lou. I mean it. They deserve a slimy, back-stabbing, morally compromised psychopath. Lou is the worst fate I could wish on them. As for Lou herself, I just hope my attack leaves a scar.

Personally, I've never wanted to get home more than I do right now. I want to go home where everyone isn't out to kill me, for the most part. Home where I have friends and family. Home where ponies can be trusted and asparagus tastes like asparagus. Home where I don't have to live a lie to gain anyone's trust.

"Welcome back, your majesty," Gorehoof greets me once I return to the sewer headquarters. Normally, he's the only changeling down here with a helmet on, but there is another changeling with an armored noggin with him now. "Allow me to congratulate you on defeating that monster. It was an excellent victory."

"More like a hollow victory. I'd rather not talk about it. Is this the scout from the Hive?" I point to the other changeling with him. The changeling bows deeply as he addresses me.

"It is an honor to finally meet you, your majesty. I've come at the request of the Hive Minds. There is much to be done and much to discuss back at the Hive."

"The Hive Minds? Who are they?" I ask. If they can summon me back to the Hive, they probably pull a lot of weight.

"They are your senior officers, your majesty. They work solely in your interest and wouldn't be summoning you if things at the Hive weren't so... hectic.," the changeling explained. I can imagine that a sudden change in the head of a monarchy would throw the other parts of the governing body into a state of chaos. Based on my previous experiences with changelings being ashamed when talking to me, this changeling's hesitance to admit things are "hectic" is a sure sign that these Hive Minds are having trouble holding down the fort themselves.

"Tell me your name and rank," I demand, wanting to sort this changeling out from the thousands of clones running around.

"Captain Bloodbuzz, your majesty."

"Well then, Bloodbuzz, take me to the Hive!" I wait momentarily for Bloodbuzz or Gorehoof to say something, but they both stare at me without saying anything. The only sound is the buzzing of other changelings above. "Umm... are we going or not?"

"Of course, your majesty. When would you like to go?" Bloodbuzz asks. It's a stupid question, really. I mean, how much longer do you think I want to stay in a city full of ponies who fear me to no end and would very much like to see me dead?

"I'd like to go right now," I answer his question and my own.

"Very well, your majesty. Fly close to me."

"Hold on!" I stop Bloodbuzz before he can fly away. "I hate to admit it, but I can't fly."

"I'll arrange for a swarm to carry you." Just like that, Gorehoof solves the problem. No discussion about my inability to fly, no questioning my ability to fly, they just solve the problem.

I love changelings.

True to his word, Gorehoof enlists the help of six of his scouts to lift me. I expected them to take my arms, my legs, and my shoulders and just lift me, but that didn't happen. Two lifted my butt, two lifted from under my feet, and two lifted from under my forearms. I found myself hovering in a living chair. It's weird, but it's comfortable. I was going to ask exactly how they planned on flying out of the underground liar, but before I could Bloodbuzz darted off into the darkness above. My throne followed, flying just as fast.

I got the sensation of losing my stomach as my chair rocketed up, down, sideways and backwards. I grabbed on for dear life, disregarding that I was grabbing two living things. I don't know where we went after things got too dark to see, but I saw a light at the end of the tunnel we were apparently in.

Upon exiting, the sight that greeted me washed away all my previous experiences. We were flying high over Equestria. Most of what stretched out before me was trees and modest patches of farmland. I look straight down, right down into the city that shunned me. Directly below us is a dilapidated skyscraper with a hole in the top. I look back out over the horizon.

It strikes me that Manehattan is just one city. Lou is just one pony. This attempt at getting home was just the first one. There is a lot more to the world I'm in. I can't get down because one city rejects me. Somewhere out there, there has to be one pony who can help me. On top of that, Discord revealed that I'm not alone. If I can find a human who doesn't happen to inspire fear in the general population with his newly acquired form, we could help each other get out of here. With the entirety of the changelings at my disposal, there is no way we wouldn't be able to pull it off.

Feeling rather rejuvenated, I hardly noticed when Bloodbuzz suddenly banked out from in front of my flying chair. I finally realized what was happening when my chair also banked right and dropped down. A white pegasus whizzed past, joined by a few more as the changelings in charge of keeping me airborne did their best to keep out of the way. Having to move me around and having to move in tandem was obviously keeping them from moving effectively. We were all surrounded by seven armor-clad pegasi, Bloodbuzz included.

"In the name of Princess Celestia, the Forty Third Pegasi Troop will be seeing to your immediate termination, changeling," the pegasus who appeared to be in charge snarled.

"Jeez, that's a lot of troops," I grumble, just to myself. "The army got out here awfully fast," I directly address the horse in charge. "Is it a slow day or something, buddy?"

"I am Lance Corporal Summitplunge, not your buddy you cur! We saw the commotion from Canterlot and the Princess dispatched us. We didn't expect to find changeling royalty up to no good, but I see the new king didn't waste any time in making himself known." I wasn't paying much attention to whatever-plunger. When he said he could see the commotion from Canterlot, I began to look to see if I could see that capital city from where I was now.

Turns out the pegasus wasn't lying. I guess I hadn't noticed it before, but Canterlot is visible from Manehattan! Even from this distance, the city looks absolutely pristine and beautiful. Pasted right on the side of a mountain, the ivory city appears to be the perfect roost from which to rule the rest of Equestria. It was just as I'd imagined it.

"Look, Plungersomething-"

"Summitplunge!"

"That sounds ill-advised. Anyway, I was wondering if you could deliver a message to Princess Celestia for me."

"I'll be sure to relay your final words if that's what you want," Summitplunge sneered at me. I probably shouldn't push his buttons, but I'm in an odd mood at the moment.

"I'm serious here. Just tell her I don't mean her or her subjects any harm." Summitplunge crinkled up his nose, obviously not convinced that the King of the Changelings would earnestly mean such a thing. I didn't blame him. It's been made painfully clear changelings don't exactly have the best rap with ponies. "Just as sort of a royalty to royalty sort of thing."

"Submit and you can tell her that yourself on the execution block." The thought of ponies using beheading as a means of punishment wasn't one that had crossed my mind. I didn't even think they'd have capital punishment.

"Well, that's okay. I could just have Bloodbuzz here turn into you and deliver the message."

"You wouldn't dare," Summitplunge growled. I don't actually know if I'd do it, but I know Bloodbuzz would do it if I told him to. It doesn't even have to be Bloodbuzz... well, maybe not Stagger Fang, but every changeling would probably jail their own mother if I told them to.

"Just give her the message. Now I've got to get going. Let's hit the road." Just as I expected, Bloodbuzz and the changelings carrying me went ahead and began to fly off, despite the pegasi surrounding us. The circle quickly adjusted, blocking our exit route.

"Don't mock the Forty Third Pegasi Troop! Attack!" the ring of pegasi began spiraling in towards our group. I expected Bloodbuzz to give an order or something, but instead he turned to me.

"Your orders, your majesty!"

Oh yeah, I'm in charge.

"Stay close to me!" I order, standing up on the two changelings under my feet. The other four fly down to assist so the twothey don't have to bear my full load. Bloodbuzz joins them, which leaves me at the center of the circling pegasi.

I take a deep breath in, focusing my magic into my hands. I concentrate hard, putting both hands out to the side. I focus on building up a careful heap of energy in either hand. The task feels like piling individual snowflakes into a tower. It's tedious and I feel like hours are passing. Out of the corner of my senses though, I can see the pegasi preparing to make their move.

It's a lot to ask, but I can feel the nature of the spell starting to take hold. With an exhale, energy flows out of me and begins wrapping itself around the changelings and me. I shut out all distractions as I take in another breath, gathering up the energy necessary to execute. All I need to do is hope it goes well and give it one, final pu-

"Charge!"

Summitplunge tears my concentration asunder, causing the carefully constructed spell to fall to pieces. I'd been trying to teleport my little posse away from trouble, but the spell's failure had an entirely different effect. The membrane of energy surrounding us tore, releasing the energy I'd so carefully contained. The energy, however, hadn't liked being contained that much. The release was not a flash of light or a simple explosion, but a emerald firestorm that blazed outward.

Pegasi scattered to avoid the oncoming wave of flames. As the flames expanded outward and drove the ponies away, it appeared my magic had still sealed the deal.

"Alright, let's get o-"

It was at that precise moment, as Summitplunge knocked me off my mount, that I decided I should not underestimate Equestria's military prowess in the future. I didn't have time to wonder how he'd navigated his way through the flames or how I hadn't seen the huge horse barreling towards me. I only had enough time to realize I'd gotten the wind knocked out of me and I was now falling towards the roof of a nearby building very quickly.

My only option was to spread my wings and beat them as hard as I could. I took a deep breath, reclaiming the situation and righting myself as I made a harsh touchdown. I collected myself and looked up to where I'd fallen from. An air battle between my small changeling escort and the Forty Third Pegasi Troop had broken out. Only one pegasi had broken ranks, and that pegasi was charging straight at me.

"Die cur!" Summitplunge cried as he dove at me. There wasn't much I could think to do at the moment, so I just hit the deck and covered my head. Summitplunge, being the warrior he was, didn't miss a beat. Instead of crashing into me, he reared his front hooves up to slow his descent. His back hooves touched down right in front of me, warning me that a reared up horse was standing right in front of me. I tumbled backwards onto my butt, watching as two meaty hooves bashed the ground where my head had been.

Summitplunge reared up again, but the sudden familiarity of the situation inspired me to act. I got to my feet as the horse reared up, thrusting my left hand into the bend in his left forleg and wrapping my right arm around his body. I held him, stopping the assault, but the stallion didn't appreciate being held against his will. Before he could free himself though, I spun to put my back against his chest. I exhaled sharply as I lifted him onto my hip, then followed the motion through with my arms. The pony rolled over my body and landed hard on his back.

Still operating on hours of practice, I held fast to Summitplunge's left hoof. I laid down, ramming my butt into his left shoulder and tucking him in close by wrapping my legs across his torso. Holding his hoof to my chest, I raised my hips ever so slightly.

"Graargh!" Summitplunge grimaced as I worked his body against its will. Without fingers or hind legs that bend the right way to push off the floor, I realized I'd turned the pony into my plaything with a simple arm-bar.

"I don't know about Equestria, but back home a horse with a broken leg is as good as glue." I push up a little more to reinforce the fact that I am in control of the situation. "How about you let me and my good buddies up there leave Manehattan and I'll let you walk on four hooves a while longer."

This is where I'd tell you what Summitplunge's response was, but quite frankly I don't want to repeat what he said. Essentially, he told me I was something and that I should go do something to something somewhere.

*snap*

"GAAH-AH-AAARGH!" Summitplunge's scream drowns out the pleasantly underwhelming sound of a bone breaking. I free myself from under him as he writhes in agony. Letting magic flow through my body, I change forms for my Plan B.

"Whaddya think? We're exactly the same! ... Except for the broken foreleg," I taunt the pegasi in his own voice, wiggling a perfectly functioning hoof in his face.

"I'll kill you!"

"Later." Seeing as Summitplunge can't protest or resist me very well, I take off his armor and put it on. Unless his men have a seventh sense for their leader like mine do, they'd never know it was me. I begin flapping my new feathers to see how they feel. To my surprise, I begin to lift effortlessly from the ground with just a few beats of my wings. Pegasi must have some sort of special, passive magic within them to be able to fly with such proportionally small wings.

Unfortunately, I realize I have no idea how to fly. As I elevate up and up and up, every twist and twitch of my body jerks me left and right. Luckily, my destination is straight up, so as soon as I'm within earshot of the full-swing aerial battle I shout out an order.

"Everypony for himself! Retreat!" I bark an order to the pegasi troops. Just like changelings, they don't question my order and simply obey, turning one by one back towards Canterlot. I turn to my actual allies. "Catch me!" Shifting back into my regular form causes the shining, golden armor to fall away. My changeling escort stops me from falling. Bloodbuzz and the entire chair swarm is accounted for, much to my delight.

"I would advise we hurry back to the Hive, your majesty. Reinforcements could arrive any moment," Bloodbuzz suggests. All it takes is my nod in agreement to get the swarm on the move.

The Changeling Hive is located outside of Equestria's borders. Bloodbuzz alerted me when we flew over the Pale Mount River, the natural, northern border between Equestria and a dry wasteland known simply as Minor Mineral Desert. I asked if there was a Major Mineral Desert, and I was surprised to learn it was our destination.

The Minor Mineral Desert was pretty unimpressive. I could be wrong, but the dilapidated, abandoned huts and farms lead me to believe this is where the earth ponies lived before they found Equestria. At any rate, whatever lived there doesn't anymore.

Until we actually arrived in the Major Mineral Desert, I hadn't considered why there needed to be two different deserts. Minor Mineral Desert was really just a dry prairie, but Major Mineral Desert is a massive sandbox. Nothing but dunes as far as the eye could see. I got a little worried that we would get lost when even the Minor Mineral Desert disappeared behind us along with the sun. I trusted that Bloodbuzz knew where he was going though.

I hadn't misplaced my trust.

I imagined the main Hive would be some sort of gooey, oozing, green shell in the middle of the desert, but that was far from the truth. I didn't see the Hive before I heard it. I didn't hear buzzing or changelings talking. I heard sand rushing towards a massive pit. Just like a whirlpool in the ocean, there was a spiraling, rampaging tide of sand flowing into a dark hole in the ground.

When I saw it I thought to myself, "I'd like to get a closer look at that thing", but I hadn't expected Bloodbuzz and my chair to dive bomb the very center of it. The inside of the hole was darker than the night outside and louder than I cared for. As we approached the bottom, the sand began to light up sickly green, the trademark color of changeling magic. A long, jagged spike with a green bonfire was below us, drawing the sand under it aside like a curtain. We swooped into this opening. We swooped into the heart of the Changeling Hive.

"Oh someone's Nonspecific Deity..."

Bathed in the light of countless green bonfires, the heart of the Changeling hive was an ebony beehive. Hexagonal combs tessellated the enormous, egg-shaped cavern. Dormant changelings slathered in green ooze covered almost every inch of the combs. The walls were impressive, but even more impressive was the full-sized castle suspended in the center, like the yoke of some giant, alien egg.

The castle was suspended by several thick, black beams that, just like most of the other surfaces, were lined with sleeping changelings. The thickest of these spires went straight down and occupied an entire comb. The castle itself was constructed entirely of whatever black substance everything else was composed of and the architecture was distinctively Gothic. There were high, pointed spires, flying buttresses, and high black walls. Changelings buzzed in and out of windows and doors, nearly obscuring my view of the castle by sheer number.

My throne set me down at the front step of the castle, which lead into a massive great hall. Armored changelings lined the floor, walls and ceilings. Each one snapped to attention as I entered.

"Welcome back, your majesty!" the crowd greeted me as I strode down the tattered, green carpet towards the opposite end of the hall. I took in the tall, shattered windows and the exposed supports in the high ceiling. I don't know if the changelings built this or not, but it is sure impressive.

I noticed a group of changelings walking down the carpet towards me. Each one of them was decked out in more armor than any other changeling I'd seen before, so I could only assume that they were the hive minds. Their torsos were completely encased in a shell of the deep, violet metal. The openings for the legs and head had a round plates with jagged spikes to protect the joints. The armor on their hooves sported the same motif, but featured three long spikes that mimicked claws. The helmets were the same design as their subordinates', but their own horn was accompanied by four more; two horns rested directly blow the real one and the other two sprouted from the cheek guards like ebony pincers.

"It is good to see you, your majesty. Your arrival here already eases much of the unrest here at the Hive," one of the Hive Minds explains to me. They number seven in total, each of them looking exactly like the other six. I need to order that everyone wears a different hat or something...

"What kind of unrest?" I ask.

"It is a... complicated matter. You should come and see for yourself." The seven changelings walked ahead of me while Bloodbuzz and I followed closely behind. The rest of the castle was equally impressive, but the architecture never changed. It was always the same tattered carpet, the same black bricks, and the same green torches. It's fitting, I suppose; changelings aren't much for variety.

"If you'd step inside, she's waiting for you." The Hive Minds stepped aside as we arrived at a door made of black wood.

"Um... who is 'she'?" I asked. The Hive Minds glanced at each other, but didn't respond. I swallowed my nervousness. Whomever I was dealing with could make my own changelings question my orders. I opened the door up and quickly slipped inside. I looked around, but I didn't see a soul.

Whoever lived in this room lived in luxury though. The furniture in the room was well made and looked very comfortable. I also couldn't help but notice there were toys littered all over the room. Plush ponies, little figurines, and an assortment of play clothes carpeted the floor. It was as if I was in a kid's room, but there was no kid.

"I have you now!" I realized I had spoken too soon as a tiny black figure squeaked and latched itself on to my face. While the speed with which it managed to attach itself was impressive, the assault only succeeded in blinding me. I could feel it trying to bit into my head with tiny little fangs, so I grabbed it and pulled it off.

...

What in the name in all that is cute, precious, and puppy-like is this?

"Let me go! I will destwoy you!" the pint-sized changeling threatened.

"You are adorable! What's your name little guy?"

"I am Ka-ween Chrysalis!"

"Queen Chrysalis?"

"That's what I said!"

"No, you said 'ka-ween Chrysalis'."

"That is ee-well-evant!" She was right, it was irrelevant.

"Why are you so tiny?" I posed my question. Now that she'd brought it to my attention, I realized I was indeed holding the filly version of Queen Chrysalis in my hands.

"I do not know! Last I we-member I was fighting wid Celestia's forces while twy-ing to retreat back to the Hive, but then I suddenly wake up here! Worst of all, I'm a filly and I learn some foal calling himself Cocoon has usurped my thwone!"

"I didn't take over an purpose. I'm just as lost as you are," I attempted to explain. Chrysalis wasn't about to believe me though, scrunching up her face into the cuuuutest of expressions!

"Liar!" Chrysalis started beating her tiny little hooves against my hands, attempting to free herself. "You are some sort of iwm-postor!"

"Just let me explain myself!" I barked. Chrysalis continued beating against her prison a few seconds longer before submitting, crossing her forelegs in protest and pouting. "Look, we really want the same thing: I want to get out of here and you want to be queen again-"

"I am the ka-ween!"

"No, you're the princess, you are Princess Chrysalis. Anyway, I don't belong in this world. I'm from an entirely different plane of reality!"

"That sounds unlike-aly." Chrysalis still appeared skeptical, but maybe I'd gotten it across that we're not enemies. To confirm this, I released her. Instead of attack me again, she buzzed her wings and hovered in place. Her silence implored me to continue.

"All you've got to do is help me find out how I can get home and you'll be running this show before you even know it." I smiled as I made her my offer. Her skepticism persisted.

"Okay, suppose I be-weave you. How exact-we would I be able to help?"

"I barely know anything about this world. I need you to help me not look like an idiot in front of... well in front of the world." Chrysalis smirked a little, probably elated by the thought of me making a fool of myself. "All I want to do is get home, so I'm not going to make any huge policy changes or try to take over the world. I'll leave things exactly how I found them. For all intents and purposes, you might as well be Queen." Chrysalis's eyes wandered a bit as she pondered what I'd just said.

"If you're from another world, how did you get here?" she asked. Coming from another world is a claim about as far-fetched as they come, but I had to prove it was true somehow.

"I don't know how I got here just like you don't know why you're a filly again. If you help me out, we might be able to riddle it out," I offered. Chrysalis didn't respond. She buzzed down to the ground and paced around me. I stood rigid at attention as she examined me from head to toe.

"I'm not convinced. Come wif me!" Princess Chrysalis commanded as she fluttered up and opened the door. I followed her as she meandered out. "Out of my way you bumbling imbeciles!" The Hive Minds moved aside and came to attention as the tiny tyrant marched past.

"That's not any way to treat your subjects," I scolded her. She stopped dead in her tracks and looked up at me like I was the craziest person on the face of the planet. She didn't elaborate on why she was confused, but instead continued on her way through the castle. The Hive Minds followed us until we reached what was or destination.

We'd gone down several flights of stairs to reach what looked like a well. I peered down into it, noting that I could not discern what was at the bottom. Chrysalis hovered over it and descended inside.

"Follow me!" her voice echoed up. I turned back to the Hive Mind.

"Where does this go?"

"Down below the Hive, to Tartarus." How pleasant is that? The changelings have a direct passage to a giant underworld of monsters. Now all this castle needs is a death-ray and we can go in for our evil lair certification.

I should have asked how I get back up if I can't fly, but my brain is too stupid for that. Instead, I just climbed over the edge of the well and let myself drop. It was a bit of a battle to get to get in the very center where I could move my wings, but I managed to slow my long descent into the depths of Tartarus. Unlike the entrance to the Hive, there wasn't a speck of light when I reached the bottom.

"What took you so long?" Chrysalis chided me from somewhere in the darkness.

"Do you mind explain what we're doing down here?" I asked, fumbling around for the tiny changeling in the dark.

"So... you're King Cocoon?" a voice I'd never heard asked me from behind. I swallowed the lump in my throat and answered the ominous and powerful voice.

"Yup... that's me," I whimpered as I turned about. I was greeted by not one, not two, but eight, enormous, globes of red eyes. Two bonfires jumped to life on either side of me, revealing the full extent of the monster I was being confronted by. I was staring into the many eyes of a massive, crimson tarantula with fangs that would be big on a humpback whale. Each of it's eights pupils were fixed on me. I backed off just as fast as I could. If this is the kind of stuff that's locked up in Tartarus, no wonder ponies want Cerberus to keep watch.

"And you are?" I don't know what came over me that made me ask that question, but I was hoping that if he hadn't eaten me the moment I came down here it meant he wasn't looking at me as a snack.

"Baal the Blacksmith at your service," Baal introduced himself and bowed... sort of. It was hard for something his size to bow to something my size. The "at your service" eased my heart a great deal, but there was another piece of his introduction that piqued my interest.

"Blacksmith?"

"I have been outfitting the Changeling Army and Changeling Royalty for many millenniums, and now I extend my services to you."

"Quiet Baal! That's not what we're here about!" Chrysalis shouted. I looked over at where she was.

...

Well... that's disturbing. Chrysalis is standing on a massive pile of changeling carcasses. It's not the only one too. As I look around, I realize I am surrounded by dead changelings. A great deal of the bodies are missing certain parts, especially heads. Calling this place a graveyard would be sugarcoating it.

"What's with all the... uh... dead... stuff?" I dare to ask.

"Quiet!" Chrysalis doesn't allow the interruption. "Baal! Cocoon keeps going on about being from a different world! I wanted to know whether or not you knew if that was true!" Baal raised one of his massive legs and scratched his head. The rubbing of his hair against his own hair sounded like someone running their hand through tall grass.

"It's not impossible." Baal lowered his arm towards me. Without a word of warning, a long claw shot out of the end of his leg and nearly punctured by face. Instead of killing me with the claw, he began to examine me closely. "One things is for sure: he doesn't look like any changeling I've seen before."

"That could mean anything! I want proof one way or the other!" Chrysalis complained, jumping up and down on some poor, departed soul's head.

"I have no way of telling," Baal admitted. "There is someone who could tell us though." Baal scurried and turned himself around. I could hear him rummaging through something, but I couldn't see around his massive abdomen to see what he was rummaging through.

He turned back around, holding something rather large in one of his arms. He held it before his face as his eyes lit up with a frightening, red light. After a few seconds of laser-eyes, I swore I heard the faint sound of someone clipping their nails.

"Baal? What's up man, I haven't talked to you in a while. How's the whole blacksmith gig working for you?" I recognized the voice as Discord immediately. I realized that Baal was holding an old vanity mirror and had somehow contacted Discord with his magic or something. Somehow I wasn't all too surprised that the two knew one another.

"I have a quick question for you. Is this your doing?" Baal turned the mirror around, revealing to me the image of my sworn enemy holding a toenail clipper. He looked less than happy to see me, but the feeling was mutual.

"No, he's not my doing. I don't know who brought him here," Discord admitted. Baal turned the mirror back to himself.

"So you're saying he did come from somewhere else?"

"That would be correct. He's a human, not a changeling. Hey, would you mind letting me talk to him for a moment?" Baal lowered the mirror so Discord was facing me again. "I saw what you did in Manehattan."

"Right... and you said I couldn't do chaos."

"You can't," Discord growled. "Things were chaotic before! Everything is all normal now. Lookity Louise is back on the force, the sewers work, and most of all there is no Sphinx! No sacrifices of ponies Louise thinks are criminals and nopony gets prosecuted without proper evidence! That, my bipedal friend, is order."

"What about my crazy snack-attack or when Lou unmasked me?"

"Those things? Please, spare me the explanation. Changelings feed, that's what they do, how is a changeling doing as changelings do chaotic? On top of that, how is everypony knowing your true identity chaotic? You see, this is what's wrong with you! You can't even properly identify chaos!" As much as I hated to admit it, Discord was right. Boy, do I hate admitting it. When all is said and done in Manehattan, things are back to normal in the city.

"Whether I'm wreaking havoc or restoring peace, I don't care. I just want to go home. You say you want me gone so bad, but I didn't hear you offer any suggestions!" I point out.

"I did offer a suggestion!"

"One that doesn't involve killing me!"

"Now you're just being picky!"

"Can you really blame me?!"

"Bowth of you shut up!" Chrysalis shrieked in my ear. I held my ringing head while Discord made a face.

"Wow Chrysalis, what happened to you?" Discord chuckled.

"I do not know! It would appear to have something to do with Cocoon's appearance, so I have decided to help him get home!" Chrysalis stated her allegiance. I couldn't be happier to have at long last convinced someone to be on my side, even if it was a tiny, changeling Princess.

"I'm telling you Chryssi, just have Baal cut off his head or something. He's just going to cause trouble," Discord grunted.

"We are through talking! Baal!" Chrysalis squeaked up at the huge arachnid.

"Now hold on a mi-" the image in the mirror faded away before Discord could finish. I kind of wanted to ask him about the other humans he'd peppered Equestria with, but on the other hand I really shouldn't trust him with being forthcoming about that information. After all, they are his precious sources of chaos.

"C'mon, let's go Cocoon!" Chrysalis demanded, buzzing her way on up towards the hole in the ceiling I can only assume we came in through.

"Now hold up, I wanted to hear more about this blacksmithing deal." I reach up and grab Chrysalis by her tail, yanking her back down to my level.

"Nonsense! You don't need Royal Armor! You're not staying here!" Chrysalis retorted.

"... Royal Armor?" Now there was no way I was leaving here without at least an explanation. Chrysalis heaved a sigh, handing the metaphorical mic over to Baal.

"The ruling changeling always receives a set of protective armor for battle. The royal armor is special since the base for it is the King or Queen themselves."

"I don't follow."

"It's easier if I just show you." Chrysalis hovered away from me as Baal reached out one of his massive legs to me. I wasn't sure what he wanted at first, but eventually I reached out and took the hairy ligament in my left hand.

The next moment one of his bladed arms cut the arm clean off at the shoulder.

I reached out to my stump of a shoulder and pushed as much magic as I could into it, supressing the howls of pain welling up inside me. In a flash of light, I had my arm back. I wiggled my fingers around, making sure I hadn't been damaged permanently.

"What the heck was that?!" I normally try not to explode with anger, but I'd just got my arm cut off. You don't just cut someone's arm off without telling them. It isn't cool.

"This is the material I'll be using to make your armor," Baal explained, waving my severed arm around as it flopped around like a dead fish. "Your body has a natural need to consume and become whole, so by tempering your arm with the bodies of your fallen comrades I will forge armor that will reinforce your natural body."

"You could have warned me before you lobbed my arm off!"

"Quit your whining! We need to go con-salt with the Hive Minds!" Chrysalis flew off before I could protest. Not having time to explain I couldn't fly, I simply turned back into Summitplunge and clumsily made my way back up the hole in the ceiling. When I finally reached the top, Chrysalis was waiting impatiently with the Hive Minds and Bloodbuzz.

"This flying thing is going to take me a while." I changed back into my normal form, panting from exerting myself in such a strange way. Even if I was trained to be an endurance runner, that didn't make me an endurance flier.

"That's not important! Did you order the Manehattan branch to transport a rock here?" Chrysalis asked right out of left field.

"I guess I sort of did. I made an inscription on a rock and told them to copy it down all over Equestria." Chrysalis shot a look back at the Hive minds who began to shuffle their hooves nervously. I began to wonder what had happened while I was struggling to get up here.

"The etching on the rock was confusing, so they cut it out and attempted to bring it here so we could just make duplicates and place them in different places," one of the Hive Minds explained.

"Oh, well that's perfectly fine... hold up... uh... 'attempted to'?"

"Well... the changelings who transported it... dropped it." The Hive Minds all grimaced, ready for my unadulterated rage. Luckily for them, it wasn't a huge deal for me. I could just make another one.

"Where'd you drop it?" I asked my only question. The Hive Minds peeked at each other cautiously before answering.

"Right outside of Appleloosa."

"Would somepony be able to find it?"

"I... I guess so."

"Perfect, take me to it!" I commanded. If someone could find the rock, there was a chance someone had found it. I'd left instructions in my message to respond right on the signpost, so with any luck someone would have made an alteration.

The Hive Minds perked back up and conversed amongst themselves momentarily. Chrysalis took to her wings and got on eye level with me.

"What's so important about this rock?"

"Discord told me he'd brought other people from my world to Equestria as well, so I want to help them get home. The rock had a message only we humans could read."

"If so many of your kind have come here, how come I've never heard of a human? On top of that, why haven't any of them figured out a way to return?"

"Discord turns them into ponies and... well... I guess none of them want to go back." Chrysalis scrunched up her face again.

"If they don't wanna go home, why are you twying to help them get there?"

"Because they need to go home. We don't belong here and that's the bottom line." For the first time, Chrysalis smiled in earnest. She buzzed upwards and roosted on top of my head.

"I misjudged you, Cocoon. You're not stupid, you're just simple."

"Uh, thanks? By the way, how did you know about the rock?"

"I asked them about any large ordered you'd given so far. I just wanted to make sure you weren't already up to somethign weird." Oh, to be trusted by one's allies...

"Your majesty," one of the Hive Minds called to me. They parted and let Bloodbuzz trot right up to me with another, unarmored changeling right beside him.

"Who's this?" I indicate the newcomer.

"I'm Plundergrub, your majesty!" Plundergrub saluted, knocking himself in the head with his hoof. He winced, but straightened up quickly.

"He was part of the team assigned to carry the rock," Bloodbuzz explained. "Appleloosa isn't changeling territory, so we're going to have to go there in disguise. Plundergrub will act as your guide."

"What about you, are you coming?" I question Bloodbuzz.

"If your majesty wishes, I will not hesitate to accompany you."

"Then you're coming. Neither me or the Princess are the strongest of fliers," I admitted. I noticed Bloodbuzz's eyes wander a little, no doubt because he'd seen me try and fly.

"I'm a great flier!" Chrysalis protested. "I'm just... young." I had suspected as much.

"Alright then, I'm counting on you Plundergrub, Bloodbuzz."

"Yes sir!" Plundergrub bellowed. Bloodbuzz made due with a simple salute.

Just like that we were on our way to Appleloosa. The four of us transformed into pegasi, Chrysalis turning into a barely flight capable filly. She rode on Plundergrub's back while Bloodbuzz gave me instructions on the fly. I'd opted to turn into Thunderlane, the only pegasus stallion I could think of who was inconspicuous. Soarin' was a celebrity, Snowflake was enormous, and Summitplunge was a royal guard. Compared to them, Thunderlane is just chopped liver.

It was a nice long flight to Appleloosa, but by the end I still wasn't very good at flying.

"Down there sir! I can see it!" Plundergrub began to descend. There was indeed a stone that looked very much out of place in the dawning light sitting in the middle of a field just outside the collection of buildings known as Appleloosa. Nobody and nopony was out and about, so now was an excellent time to check things out.

Bloodbuzz and Plundergrub, and by extension Chrysalis, made perfect landings. I crashed into the ground a short distance behind them.

"Your language is weird, Cocoon..." Chrysalis pointed out.

"Are you sure this is it Plundergrub?" Bloodbuzz asked. I sat up and spat dirt out of my mouth. I'd spent all that time perfecting the art of staying airborne, so the art of getting back to good 'ol terra firma had been neglected.

"I think so... looks a bit different than I remember."

"Really? Let me see!" I get to my feet and gallop up to the rock. The sight that greeted me made my blood run cold.

"LEAVE ME ALONE"

8th: Ecophobia

"Somepony else wrote on your rock?"

"Yes!"

"In your weird language that only you can read?"

"That's what I've been saying!"

"No, you've just be pacing awound in circles and rambling like a madpony. You need to calm down!" Chrysalis flew up and smacked me across the face with her tiny hoof. It actually helped, despite the looks of horror that crossed Plundergrub's and Bloodbuzz's faces.

"Sorry, you're right. I need to hunker down and figure out who did this."

"What? I didn't say that!" Chrysalis shouted, smacking me another good one across the cheek. "What does somepony writing on your rock have to do with getting yourself home?"

"Two heads are better than one. If I can find out who wrote this, we might be able to work together and find a way home together!" I explained. Chrysalis didn't look convinced, but that was nothing new.

"What exactly did they write?" she questioned. When I told her, she snickered. "Yes, it sounds like they will be very helpful. Great plan."

"They just need a little convincing, that's all. I can't imagine that they don't want to go home." I was having trouble believing my own words. The message was about as clear as it got. I offered a way home and they rejected it outright. Why? I'd have to do a little investigating. "C'mon Chrys, we're going incognito."

"We are already incognito!" Sharp as a knife this one.

"I need a different disguise and a different alibi. Last time I made one up on the fly and that ended... badly. This time I've got it all figure out! We need to be unicorns, you and I." As I said this, I shifted into the form of Unsewn Bolt from Manehattan.

"If you say so," Chrysalis mumbled. She got all four hooves on the ground and shifted into... Sweetie Belle?

"Uh... not that unicorn."

"What? Why not?" Chrysalis protested. "I saw this filly at the royal wedding, so she shouldn't get recognized in Appleloosa."

"Yeah... that isn't the problem. Look, just change into someone else."

"No!"

"Do it."

"No!"

"Do it." You get the picture. After several rounds of bickering back and forth, I finally gave up. I explained My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic to Chrysalis. After concluding my lengthy explanation, she peered up at me in awe.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!"

"Just change into another unicorn already!" I demanded. Chrysalis rolled her eyes and shifted forms, this time into a pony I didn't recognize. The light blue coat and jet blue mane made us look somewhat related though, which is what I was aiming for. "Perfect. Now, I'm your father and we're in Appleloosa to see the sights."

"That doesn't sound like it would be much fun."

"I am your father. It is my job to bring you to horrible places and convince you you'll thank me when you're older. Anyway, as for you two..."

"Yes, your majesty! Shall I be the mother?" Plundergrub offered.

"Eh, no... just.... you two just hang around. I'll tell you if I need you." I discarded my thoughts of Plundergrub acting motherly or... affectionate. A shudder ran down my spine.

"What about the message, your majesty?" Bloodbuzz asked.

"Just leave it. If the person... or pony I suppose, who edited it sees it was moved, he or she will get suspicious. Now you two go, me and PC here are going to begin our search." My grunts saluted and flew off, leaving me and Chrysalis to wander into the pioneer town of Appleloosa in the early morning bustle.

"What does PC mean?" Chrysalis questioned as we trotted along.

"It's short for Princess Chrysalis. It's my nickname for you, like it?"

"No."

"Tough. Mind if I ask you some questions?"

"You're probably going to ask regardless." I get the same vibe off of Chrysalis that I do off my little sister. She acts abrasive and tough, but I can tell she doesn't hate me. You might think a familiar feeling would make me feel more at ease, but it just makes me more homesick.

"So, is there usually a King or Queen plus a Prince or Princess?" I start into the matter that had been eating at me for a little while.

"That is correct. There is always a ruler and an heir."

"Where do the heirs come from? It can't be like bees or ants because I know you didn't sit around laying eggs all day."

"No, we are not like bees or ants. Think more along the lines of a praying mantis." The image of Chrysalis feasting upon the head of another changeling flashed through my mind. It was not a pretty picture. "Queens will select a trusted adviser to consume, and then that changeling will be reborn as a royal egg. The royal eggs will remain unhatched until a ruler passes away."

"What if the heir passes away?" Chrysalis chuckled at the very thought.

"Who knows? An heir has never been lost."

"What about your heir?" Chrysalis frowned and looked up at me.

"They didn't tell you about Prince Mangle?"

"... No." If a dude is named "Mangle", I would really hope someone would say something about him.

"Oh... well apparently he is still alive somewhere. He was in the Hive for a while, but he left when the changelings wefused to obey his commands."

"He's the Prince though, why wouldn't they obey him?"

"I was presumed dead, so technically he should have become king. For whatever reason, the swawm only recognizes you as king and I emerged as the new heir. There was no plae for Mangle in the traditional hierarchy, so they just ignored him."

"Shrimp... that dude probably has it in for me, doesn't he?" Chrysalis's silence told me everything I needed to know. The Abandoned Prince Mangle is out there somewhere, and he probably wants to see me dead. If Chrysalis helped bring him up, he'd probably be a proper King. He'd know more about the world around him, he'd be more ruthless in his feeding, and he can probably fly too! I was up against a more dangerous version of myself. I need to get serious about finding a way to fight.

"So, how do you plan on finding your 'friend'?" Chrysalis diverted my train of thought with her question. I hadn't even seen heads or tails of Mangle yet, so worrying about him now is just a distraction. Besides, he's probably not so stupid as to attack me in broad daylight where all the ponies can see.

"Well, being the resident expert on humans, I can honestly say there is no way to know for certain what they're up to."

"Really, you've got nothing?" Chrysalis squeaked. It was true, I had no idea where to start looking. Fortunately, looking for our mystery pony-person wasn't the first step.

"We can look after we gain the townspeople's trust. Our target is probably wary, so if we appear to be snoopers he or she might throw us off their trail. For now, we just do as tourists do and see the sights. I wonder where we should start."

"I might be able to help y'all there!" A twangy, southern voice calls. Chrysalis and I turn about to face the enthusiastic stallion.

...

Indeterminate and ever confusing Nonspecific Deity it's Braeburn as I live and breath!

"Howdy and welcome to AaAaAppleloosa! My name is Braeburn an' ah'm kinda the welcome wagon 'round these here parts!"

Now you have to understand, the only recognizable characters I'd come across so far were Chrysalis and Discord. Both experiences were slightly dampened by the fact that both wanted to kill me at the time. Here before me was a beloved protagonist who instead of making death threats was rolling out the red carpet as he pushed me and Chrysalis around the little town. I'd given up hope that there were any decent ponies in all of Equestria, but with the sudden app-

"And that's our little town! I reckon you've got somethin' to say 'bout it now, Mr. Pinhead!"

...

Wait... did I miss something? Okay... uh... Braeburn introduced himself, I began to panic, we were moving, I think someone asked me some questions, and now Braeburn is calling me... Pinhead? I look around at the expanse of apple trees in the valley below where we stand. I don't really remember coming here. I glance down at Chrysalis. She is snickering to herself! What did she do?

"It's... very nice... your town... Braeburn. I'm looking forward to our stay," I manage to spit out, coming down from my ratehr embarrassing stupor.

"Ah'm shore y'all will have a great time, you an' Ms. Blue Bolt here. Do y'all know where yer stayin'? I'd be more than happy to escort you!" Braeburn offered.

"Oh, we don't have anyplace to stay."

"Yer kiddin'!" I felt Braeburn's heart go out to me. I chewed on it while I pondered what I should do for living arrangements. "Well, what's yer budget look like?"

"We're broke because daddy is a deadbeat." My, what would a loving father say in this situation?

"As much as I hate to admit it, she's right. I haven't got a doll-er, bit to my name."

"Well shucks, at least y'all still got yer name, Mr. Pinhead." Oh yes, thank goodness for my name. "Ah might know somepony who can put y'all up, but it won't really be for free."

"We'll take what we can get, right sweetie?" I flare my teeth at my "daughter". She responds in kind.

"Whatever you say, daddy." Our alibi is so convincing, isn't it?

"Fantastic! Follow me! Cain't have y'all sleepin' on the streets while yer visitin' Appleloosa! I kin understand yer eagerness to visit though, and I know plenty of ponies who git by on just a hoofful of bits," Braeburn talked on as he lead us back into town. By now, the town was bursting with activity. The town smelt of baked goods and chimney smoke, a testament to how rustic it was. Ponies pulled ponies in carts while others pulled lumber, food, and other wares down streets. We passed the sheriff's office, complete with Sheriff Silverstar standing outside with what looked like one of his deputies.

"Mornin' Sheriff, Mornin' Deputy!" Braeburn gave the two ponies an ecstatic wave. Braeburn recieved two tips of a hat before we proceeded. "That's Sheriff Silverstar and Deputy Quickdraw. There ain't too much trouble 'round here, but the pair of them help keep this place safe. If y'all need anythin' and can't find me, the two of them would be willin' to help!" Braeburn explained as we came to a stop in front of a relatively newer looking building.

"Is this the place?" Most of the buildings around Appleloosa were made of wooden slats, but this one was made out of red brick. It wasn't tall, but it was pretty long and wide. There was a painted sign over the paned double doors, but I wasn't able to read it.

"Yessir! This here is Appleloosa Library!" The thought of staying in a library was not appealing seeing as I can't read one word of Equestrian. "The place just opened, so the librarian needs help unpacking and cleaning. I know he has a spare room in his home, so y'all might be able to stay there!" Braeburn lead us into the library. When he opened the double doors, I relished in the cool breeze that wafted out. The inside of the library did indeed look like the place had just opened up. The vast majority of the shelves were bare, but the floor was littered in crates full of books. Behind what looked to be a reception desk sat an elderly, grey maned, auburn unicorn. He pulled his beard out of the book levitating before him and faced us.

"Good morning Braeburn, what brings you here?" The old stallions voice was crisp and deliberate. It was the kind of voice you'd expect from someone far wiser than yourself.

"Howdy Tomesworth! I brought y'all somethin'!" Braeburn stepped aside and allowed me and Chrysalis to approach the counter.

"Well now, we don't get too many unicorns in Appleloosa. What brings the two of you here?"

"Sightseeing! I'm Pinhead and this is my daughter, Blue Bolt."

"They've come all the way from Manehattan to visit, but they ain't got not place to stay. I was thinkin' if they helped out with the library you could put 'em up?" Wordsworth turned and looked Chrysalis and I over one more time. I don't know when I'd told him we'd come from Manehattan, but I guess I have Chrysalis to thank for that one.

"I can use all the help I can get. I wasn't planning on starting until Sweet Tea arrived, but considering that she is fifteen minutes late I may as well get to work with these two." Almost as if on cue, somepony burst in through the double doors.

"Sorry ah'm late Mr. Tomeswoooooooorth!" the mustard colored mare screamed as she tripped and fell flat on her face. The sound and sight of it made me cringe. "Oooow~" the earth pony whimpered into the floor with her orange ponytail (not the one attached to her rear end) dangled over her forehead. She sat up and tenderly touched her now bleeding nose.

"Are you alright Ms. Tea?" Braeburn asked as we all rushed over and helped her up. Tomesworth took her head in his hooves and inspected her. He sighed, probably because her nose was obviously broken. I'd never seen someone break their nose from tripping before.

"I think it might be broken," Tomesworth observed without much certainty.

"Any difficulty breathing through it?" I asked. The victim nodded. "Definitely broken," I confirmed. The mare, who was apparently Sweet Tea, turned to me.

"A-are you s-s-sure?" she sobbed, tears flowing from her eyes just about as fast as blood was dripping down her nose. A person's broken nose and a ponies broken nose were eerily similar apparently. There really wasn't much that could be different.

"Pretty sure. Hold still," I ordered. I don't exactly know why, but I grabbed her nose with my magic. She jumped and tensed up a good deal since she hadn't expected it. "Calm down and exhale on my command. Ready?"

"No!"

"Three, Two, One." We exhaled simultaneously, uniting our beings for a brief moment. When I changed into Summitplunge, I hadn't carried over his injury. If I could fix my own body and determine the complete state of a foreign body, it stood to reason I could return foreign bodies to their complete state. I put theory into practice as the exhale ended, commanding bone and flesh to move back into place.

"Yeeeeeeowch!" Sweet Tea yelped at the top of her lungs as her nose popped back into place. The pain ran away from her face shortly afterwards as she sucked some air in experimentally through her nostrils. Aside from navigating around crusty blood, her face lit up when she realized her nose had been restored to perfect condition.

"Huh, cool," I mumbled to myself.

"Oh thank you, thank you thankyouthankyouthankyou!" Sweet Tea squealed as she put me in the mother of all bear hugs. Out of instinct I try to free myself, but this strange body of mine doesn't know what to do with itself. Thankfully, the mare releases me before I pass out. "That was amazing, mister! Are you a doctor?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Tomesworth muttered, stealing an obvious glance at my posterior. He had a point. You wouldn't expect a broke tailor to be able to fix a nose like that. Taking a look at the mark I had to work with, I thought up a quick lie.

"I'm not a doctor, I'm just good at mending things." It was a good cover if I do say so myself. Tomesworth bought it and Sweet Tea ate it up.

"I say, y'all are mighty lucky Mr. Pinhead was here. I don't know if the Doc at the infirmary could have done such a bang-up job!" Braeburn praised. The three ponies were beginning to open up to me, allowing a steady stream of admiration and trust flow into me. Sweet Tea in particular was very impressed based on the stream coming from her.

"Braeburn is right, Ah don't even know how to thank you Mister... Pinhead, was it? Ah was afraid Ah was gonna have to walk down the aisle with my nose all bandaged up."

"Walk down the aisle? Are you getting married?!" Chrysalis beamed brightly and began to jump up and down. If she was merely acting, she was doing a good job of making me think she cared about the wedding. Considering what weddings meant, perhaps it was no surprise a changeling would get excited over it.

"Why yes Ah am, in just less than a month now," Sweet Tea admitted, leaning down close to Chrysalis.

"Do y'all think you'll stay in town that long?" Braeburn questioned. Chrysalis turned and beamed right up at me. She smiled all her teeth at me and expanded her eyes to the size of dinner plates. She must really want to go to this wedding.

"Well... we have time to spare-"

"YIPPEE!" Chrysalis cheered, bounding up and down around the bride to be. Was there some connection between changelings and weddings I was missing or did Chrysalis just really like weddings this much? Maybe being a little filly is messing with her brain.

"Alright, alright, that's enough excitement for now. We've got work to do," Tomesworth reminded us, clapping his hooves together. "I trust you know what your job is Ms. Tea, so I'll be showing Mr. Pinhead and his daughter the ropes. You two just wait here a second." Tomesworth wandered out into the rows of shelves while Sweet Tea trotted off towards some open boxes. I got down to Chrysalis's level and whispered in her ear.

"You really like weddings, don't you PC?"

"Not as much as you like alibis."

"Huh?"

"I don't care about a stupid wedding, I was just getting us an alibi for sticking around here."

"Oh... quick thinking."

"Somepony as to do some!" she hissed.

I should probably be thankful that I got to work with Chrysalis to help put the books in their proper place. Seeing as I can't read, having her secretly tell me what certain books were made things run smoothly. It wasn't terribly exciting, but it was what it was. We are building an alibi, and doing that right takes effort.

"PC, what does this say?" Chrysalis looked up at the book I was levitating before her face.

"M. U. Quill's Collected Works. Put it over with the poetry." Thankfully, there was no such thing as the Dewey Decimal System in Equestria. Things were arranged merely by genre, which made my job quite easy once I knew what the book was titled.

I read very little back home, but there were a whole lot of books here I wouldn't mind cracking open for a while. Books like "The Complete Equestrian History", "Legend of the Alicorns", or "Inherit Magic of Equestrian Races". The cosmology of this world was something unknown to me, so finding out more about how this world came to be and what laws governed it would be fascinating. If I wanted to read though, I'd have to learn how. Chrysalis is probably okay with reading the titles of books if we're doing it for a job, but I'm willing to bet she won't read me any bed time stories.

"PC, what's this one?" I levitated yet another book before the little Princess. She looked up from putting a book up on a shelf and eyed the title idly. Her eyes grew wide.

"Uhm... I'll take care of that. You go put these under Historical Nonfiction," Chrysalis ordered, taking the book from me and trotting off. I looked at the large stack of volumes she'd left me with. It figures that she'd leave me with the bigger job. I inhale as I wrap the books in my magic and exhale to lift them all into the air before me. I can't help but think Twilight Sparkle made this look to darn easy as I drop the entire thing. As an amateur who has only been at this for a few days, I probably shouldn't be comparing myself to the Element of Magic herself. Fixing a broken nose is apparently pretty impressive, but changeling magic is just suited for it. What is unicorn magic suited for? Maybe it's variable.

There really isn't any use in conjecturing about aspects of either changeling or unicorn magic. When it comes right down to it, I'm doing just fine in learning by myself. Magic, like most other activities a person does, is deeply connected to the rhythm of their body. Controlling the rhythm is as easy as breathing in... and then back out. If you keep it steady and controlled, you will achieve higher levels of concentration and power. Learning to breath better can improve natural movement, posture, stress levels, and endurance. It might sound far-fetched, but think about it. What would happen if you stopped breathing?

I settle for transporting the books onto the shelf two at a time. I could totally do three or four, but, you know... I don't want to finish things too fast. It is not an excuse, it's just a reason why.

"I think that'll do it for today." As I put the book Chrysalis dumped on me onto the shelf, Tomesworth appears. "As per my promise, I'd like to show you to a place the two of you can rest your heads."

"Did Ah hear that it's quittin' time?" Sweet Tea appeared from the stack of books she'd been napping behind. Tomesworth rolled his eyes.

"Have you seen Blue Bolt around? She ran off to put a book somewhere..."

"I saw her over in the children's section. She was looking at a picture book pretty intently," Tomesworth revealed. Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings does not look at picture books. She's up to something. Before I can figure out what, the changeling in question comes trotting up behind Tomesworth.

"Time to go home, sweetie."

"I'm tired. Carry me." It seems I have no choice in the matter as she gets up onto my back.

"Aww... Ah hope my kids are as cute as yours," Sweet Tea gushes.

"I wouldn't wish that on somepony I just met..."

"Pardon?"

"You never told us who the groom was!" I point out, making a flawless recovery. The three of us walk of the library and into a nearly dark Appleloosa. Unlike Manehattan, there are no street lamps or lights from huge buildings to keep things bright. There are only a handful of windows with light in them, but hardly enough to illuminate the dusty road. Luckily, the moon and the stars are clearly visible all the way out here. I hadn't realized we'd been in the library so long.

"Ah don't reckon you know Deputy Quickdraw, do ya?"

"Not personally, but Braeburn pointed him out. Is he your beau?"

"No, he's my fiancee," Sweet Tea attempts to correct me. I understand she's not exactly Einstein, but this pony had a few of her tools out of place. "He was awfully kind to me when I first came to Appleloosa. I'm pretty new to... well, a lot of things. I don't know how I would get by here without him."

My brain jumped to a conclusion. Phrases like "first came to", "I'm pretty new", and "get by here" didn't sit well with me. Was Sweet Tea a human? Had I really stumbled upon my first human so easily? It's too soon to say anything definitively, but I'd have to keep my eyes on this mare.

"Sounds like a nice pony." There isn't much more conversation for the rest of the walk. Sweet Tea is the first to break off, returning to the hotel she's put up at. Tomesworth takes us to his home, a modest little place. He shows us to a small, upstairs room where he says we can sleep. There is only one cot, but he claims there is room for a father and daughter. Thank goodness we won't be doing any sleeping.

The last hurdle of the day was dinner. The two of us had to eat it, and all of it to keep up our impression. Apples were on the menu, so I had prayed that by some miracle that food would actually taste good. Much to my dismay, apples taste like boxer shorts deep-fried in motor oil. Even if I do get home, I might be ruined for food forever.

With all our interactions with ponies done for the day, we return to our little room and draw the blinds so we can assume our natural forms. I had been wondering what we should use the night hours for, but Chrysalis apparently already had something planned.

"PC, I can't read. Besides, we don't have a book."

"We do!" Chrysalis runs over to the cot and produces the book I had handed to her in the library. "I stole this!"

"... PC, it's a library, you're supposed to take the books."

"... I stole this for you!" she insists on having committed some kind of crime.

"Fine, what is it?" Chrysalis jumps on my head and levitates the book to my face. Magic brings it open and flips through the pages, stopping about halfway in. "Oh yes... I see... I still can't read."

"This is a book about Changelings! I'm going to use it to educate you," Chrysalis explained.

"You are a changeling. Don't you already know everything there is to know about changelings?"

"I do!" I am failing to see the point of this the further and further along we go. "The pony who wrote this book hardly knows anything about us!" Chrysalis successfully makes me abandon all hope that there is a point to this exercise.

"I've got a better idea: let's go into the nighttime streets and go human calling. We'll just dangle you from some fishing wire and use your cuteness as bait."

"... Are you being serious?" I find it hard to believe she actually considered it for a moment. It does have a chance I suppose...

"Of course not. Why should I be reading a book about changelings that isn't true?"

"Because, it'll give you insight into how ponies view changelings."

"Don't they just, you know, hate us?" I asked a pointed question.

"Fine I'll give you an example: it says here that a changeling's poison will take hold at the slightest contact." Chrysalis pointed a porous hoof at the page, as if I could read it for myself. "That's a common misconception. Our poison can only take hold of a body that's been significantly drained of love."

"I don't see how that's helpful."

"Ugh! Why are you so stupid!" Chrysalis complained as she began to stomp on my head. "Ponies think even feeding off them a little will cause them to be poisoned, so as long as we don't poison anypony, nopony will suspect changelings."

"I didn't really have my heart set on draining anypony completely." Chrysalis grunted and flipped through the pages.

"Changelings can only feed off romantic love between two ponies."

"Now I know that's not true." She leafs further into the book.

"Changeling drones only act on the orders of their monarch."

"That's kinda true..."

"Ponies aren't aware that we've got a hierarchy within the swarm. Drones are just mindless warriors that have only just awoken, Scouts are Drones who manage to survive long enough to gain some sense, Captains are Scouts who have shown leadership capabilities, and the Hive Minds are the eldest among the Captains."

"So that's how it works." I'd been wondering for a while how changelings received their rankings. Just like in any other monarchy, it's not easy to work your way up unless you're already at the top. "What else don't I or ponies know?"

"Says here that a changeling's bite is lethal."

"Is it?"

"Only if you tear out their throat."

"Eugh..."

"It gets better. There's a whole chapter dedicated to ways you can identify a changeling clone," Chrysalis giggled. "It says here, word for word, 'All changelings are allergic to lemons. A changeling clone will refuse outright lemons or lemon products.' Isn't that a riot?"

"All food is terrible if you're a changeling... terrible."

"Ponies sure are dense. 'Changelings have an aversion to water, so if someone you love is more reluctant to bathe than usual they may be a changeling.'" We fell silent. "My, you smell terrible. Have you taken a bath recently?"

"Nope, don't need it."

"Changeling!" Chrysalis accused, grasping my head with all four legs.

"I actually haven't bathed in a while... do you think I should?"

"Our magic does a good job of cleaning us off when we switch forms. As long as we change forms periodically, we won't smell," Chrysalis explained, standing back up upon my head.

"Does it say anything about changeling sleep habits?" Chrysalis flipped through the book until she found what she was looking for.

"Changelings cannot maintain their form and sleep at the same time. If you wake up one morning to an empty bed where there should be a lover, you may have had relations with a changeling."

"That just sounds like wishful thinking..."

We spent the remainder of the night pointing out all the other fallacies in the book, such as changelings are attracted to bright lights and have a tendency to overpay at restaurants. Ponies apparently don't know much about changelings at all, and what they do know is just conjecture based off arbitrary observations. Bad conjectures, I might add.

A preconceived notion is the greatest advantage you can give someone. Stereotypes and second-hand observations are distractions. You don't really know something until you've seen it happen or heard it said right before you face. Thanks to this book, if I eat lemons and jump in every puddle I find, nopony will suspect I am a changeling.

I must adopt this tactic for finding the human in this town. If I believe a human will do this, then that, and then something else, I'll get thrown off if it doesn't happen. Only an open mind, open eyes, and open ears can determine what is important and what isn't. Looking at things through a checklist can tell me what has and hasn't happened, but it can hardly tell me anything beyond that.

Finding a human is going to be difficult and it's going to require a great deal of patience.

I hadn't counted on just how much patience I'd need...

9th: Spaghetti Western

The past month has not been productive, but allow me to elaborate if merely for continuity's sake.

Every morning PC and I woke up and headed down to the library to organize and clean. During our breaks and after work, we went around town in search of the human. It involved going around and talking to ponies, in order to get to know them a little. I listened and watched closely as I tried to pick out "human" traits. That tactic got us nowhere fast.

After a week or so, we decided to take a different approach. We took a step back and analyzed what we did know about the human we were searching for. Our first breakthrough was the response to my message he or she left. Chrysalis pointed out that the letters had been carved into the rock using magic, evident by the scorch marks. Now we knew we were looking for a unicorn. With our biggest lead though, we had to drop our number one suspect: Sweet Tea.

Out of all the ponies in Appleloosa, she struck me as the most human. The facts are all there: she's new around here, she doesn't have much knowledge of Equestria, and she's clumsy with her hooves. I thought I had her pinned, but I ran into a hitch when I found out she's perfectly literate. Add the whole unicorn bit on top of that, and you've got a pony who never was a human.

On the other hand, there are only a handful of unicorns in Appleloosa. Sheriff Silverstar and his deputy were happy to point out who all the unicorns in Appleloosa were when I told them I was wanting to chat with someone with magical talent. I should point out, by the way, that Silverstar and Quickdraw are two upstanding ponies. Silverstar is a gentlecolt right down to his core and passionate about his job. Quickdraw is the quiet type, but he's just as dutiful. I should have known they were good ponies; they always wear hats!

The first unicorn to investigate was Tomesworth of course. He is a bit secretive, but he'll actually talk about anything if you ask. I'm extremely sure he isn't the human, mostly because of the all the albums and memorabilia he has from his life. The other unicorns weren't any more human than Tomesworth. I either dismissed them after seeing pictures of their parents or pictures of them as a foal. It was dead-end after dead-end.

Other than the lack of progress, I only ran into one other problem when Braeburn caught on to the fact that I was looking for somepony. I'd been talking with him a little and I'd seem him around from time to time, but I hadn't realized he'd played a little detective and watched me a bit. He meant well, saying I seemed like a pony with a lot on my mind. After all that earnest concern, I couldn't lie to him outright.

I confessed I was looking for somepony. I told Braeburn I had another, older daughter who ran away. I didn't want to cause a stir, so I made him promise to keep it a secret. He promised, but the ordeal left me thinking that he hadn't believed me. For whatever reason he'd chosen, he didn't speak a word of it to anypony else. He still trusts me, which is how I know he's still keeping an eye on me when I'm out and about. It's not like I mind being fed.

Despite all my best efforts, my search has come up dry. I even asked around if anypony had left town recently, but that question left me just as empty handed. I'm starting to think my rock was vandalized by a drifter. He or she didn't live in Appleloosa, but he or she had happened to pass by and read my rock.

I can't believe I've wasted a whole month in Appleloosa.

"Cheer up! We can go back to the hive tomorrow morning," Chrysalis assures me. All I can do is groan and continue stroking my beard, which has nearly grown back in the time I've spent in Appleloosa. My hair is getting pretty long too. I look like an old man again, but I sort of feel like one.

"Can't we skip the dumb wedding? I'm sure Sweet Tea and Quickdraw will be very happy together."

"No! We have to stick to our alibis!" Chrysalis scolds me. "What's one more day? Who knows, a wedding might cheer you up."

"Uuuuugh..."

"Oh, come off it! Try and think about something else," she recommends.

"Like what? There is nothing but finding humans and getting home." I get up off the bed and shift into my disguise. "Look, I'm going to go get Bloodbuzz and Plundergrub so we can go back."

"Leaving before the sun comes up? That'll look suspicious... hey... hey! Are you listening to me?"

"Have... have you even seen those two since we separated?" The two of us wrack our brains for a handful of seconds.

"I don't remember what their disguises look like," Chrysalis admits. "Did they change disguises?" I shake my head.

"By now, I know all the faces in Appleloosa. I haven't seen two strangers, so unless they're posing as citizens I don't think they've been around." Two changelings would never defy my orders. I told them to stick around, so they had to be somewhere. If you're a creature that lives off love, it's ill advised to remove yourself from society for too long, so they have to be here. "I'm going to go look for them."

"Don't you mean 'we'?"

"No, you stay here," I clarify. "If Tomesworth asks where I am, just tell him I can't sleep and went for a walk."

"Trot?"

"I'll go whatever speed I like. I'll try to come back before too long." Chrysalis warns me to be careful before I slip out of the house and into the dark of the coming dawn. We don't start our day until shortly after the sun comes up, so I have yet to experience Appleloosa at this hour. For once, the streets are completely empty. The city that is industrious by day and full of activity by night is actually sleeping at this early hour.

I wander the town and listen to the crickets. If Bloodbuzz and Plundergrub see me wandering around on my own at this early hour, they'll come running. In fact, they should just sense I'm meandering around town. I can't get rid of the nagging feeling that something is wrong as I approach the town's gate.

I freeze before jumping into cover behind a barrel. There is a silhouette of a large stallion standing at the gate. I don't think he saw me. Now that I think about it, I don't know why I panicked there. Everypony in Appleloosa is friendly, so I'm sure this guy will be able to help me out. Before I come out of hiding though, I'm surprised to see two familiar pegasi touch down in front of the gate.

"Bloodbuzz? Plundergrub?" I ask under my breath, still intent on hiding from view. Why are these two coming here at such an odd hour, and why is this mystery stallion waiting for them? Now I don't just feel something is wrong, I know something is wrong.

"Ah told you two to stay outta town." I know that voice, even if I've only heard it a handful of times; it's deputy Quickdraw. I peek out just a little from the barrel, verifying his identity when I spot the clay pigeon on his flank. "Y'all just don't quit, do you? Y'all ain't welcome 'round here, so git." The two fake stallions exchanged a quick glance with one another. The one that was Bloodbuzz turned back to the deputy.

"We'll be returning to Dodge Junction," he says just loud enough for me to hear.

"Ah don't really care, as long as ya ain't here." Quickdraw tipped his white stetson and began to walk off. I ducked further into my hiding place. Quickdraw trotted silently back to his home and I heard my subjects take wing and leave.

... What am I still doing in hiding?

"Quickdraw!" I jump out from behind the barrels and start after him. He turns, with a look of surprise on his face.

"Mr. Pinhead? Y're up awful early."

"What was that all about?" I ask, doing my best to sound concerned, not agitated.

"No worries Mr. Pinhead, just a couple of no-gooders ah've told time an' time again to keep out."

"Well... what did they do?" I ask, trying to keep my knees from knocking together. Quickdraw is a big pony. In this light and under these circumstances, he's scary. In my normal form I'd probably tower over the earth pony, but as an average unicorn I had to gaze up at him. I'm not too accustomed to looking up at anyone.

"They're no-gooders. They ain't good for nopony." I don't pursue the subject any further with Quickdraw. He pulls his hat down before trotting away from me, no doubt to get in a few winks before his big day. I really should tell Chrysalis what I'm going to be up to, but I need to get a move on to Dodge Junction.

Before you say anything, yes, I did know where Dodge Junction was. In the rolling prairies and rugged mesas that dotted the landscape, the slightly more developed pioneer town was clearly visible in the north when the sun was out. I only had moonlight to navigate by, but I shifted into my regular form in order to run at maximum speed. The first rays of the sun brought with it the requirement I use my disguise, but Dodge Junction is a mere mile from me at this moment.

I had expected the town to be a bit more... populated. As I stare into the silent and deserted main street, the obligatory tumbleweed blows past. I wait for the director to cue the cheesy music and pan up at a hawk circling overhead.

...

That hawk is wearing the armor of a royal guard!

...

Wait, it's just a royal guard. I almost lost it there for moment.

"Halt, citizen!" I cast my gaze back down towards the ground. Two grey unicorns in dazzling, golden regalia are approaching me from the end of the road. There is a third, smaller pony accompanying them. He, or she because I honestly can't tell, is draped in an emerald robe with golden vines embroidered all around the edges. The hood of the cloak is drawn tight with a golden cord, hiding the wearer's face from view. I look for a hint of hooves or horn under the cloth, but the pony before me is completely covered. Saying that it's a pony at all is really just conjecture.

"What's going on?" It's an innocent question, but it's met with harsh stares from the unicorn guards.

"Haven't you read the paper?" Have I read the paper? Of course I haven't read the paper! I can't read and Tomesworth always commandeers it for the crossword. In light of the fact I can't tell them all that, I opt for a shake of my head. "We've asked everypony to stay indoors in the town today so we can search for changelings."

"Changelings?" I don't need to pretend to be surprised because I have no idea why they would be looking for changelings. I know Plundergrub and Bloodbuzz are here, but surely they didn't raise a hullabaloo, right?

"Go back to your home, sir." The guards advance on me, ready to carry me off themselves if I didn't move fast.

"Uh, I live in Appleloosa. I was coming by to visit somepony!" I lie. I can't leave now, not with Bloodbuzz and Plundergrub at risk of getting exposed.

"And this 'somepony' didn't tell you what was going on?" the hooded figure speaks. It had to have been the hooded figure because the voice that I just heard doesn't belong to an imperial guard.

"Lou...?"

"Pardon?"

"Nuuuu! No, that is a no! He did not tell me about this... thing that is going on here." What in blue blazes is Lou doing here? No, I take that question back. What in blue blazes is Lou doing here looking for changelings with the royal guard?

"You're going to have to return later," one of the guards informs me. "We'll have a guard escort you in order to assure your safety." The first guard nods to his companion, who marches off back down the road. I don't have much time before I'll be forced to leave.

"This whole thing seems rather high-handed. What part of the royal army is lead by a hooded mare to hunt down changelings?" The guard steps aside and the hooded Lou steps up to the plate. I hadn't counted on seeing her so soon, let alone ever again.

"I'm Special Agent Louise, head of the newly formed Unit for Changeling Response, UCR for short. Our group is a collaborative effort between the Fifteenth Unicorn Brigade and the Forty Third Pegasi Troop to respond to possible changeling threats in Equestria." Great, not only is Lou part of this little party, but the knuckleheads from the Forty Third are here too. I don't know if the Fifteenth Unicorn Brigade has a beef with me, but something tells me these three components of UCR were not just pulled out of a hat.

"What makes you qualified to lead this sort of operation?" I'm going to be honest: Lou is the last person that should be running this show.

"I'm the leading expert on their current monarch, King Cocoon the Liar."

"King Cocoon the Liar?" I thought The Terrible was a bad title, but The Liar? I can't say it isn't true, but it's uncalled for. "You know a lot about this Cocoon fella?"

"I've gone horn to horn with him on several occasions." She should tack on "and got my plot handed to me on a silver platter each time" for accuracy. "Princess Celestia thought the fact made me more than eligible for the position."

That was the clincher for the whole situation for me. Princess Celestia not only condoned this organization, but she'd elected its leader. I guess Summitplunge didn't deliver my message.

"So, why are you here in Dodge Junction?"

"We received a tip from local law enforcement, Appleloosa's actually, that two changelings were seen flying off in this direction. Where there are two changelings, there are probably more." If there was no changeling encampment in Appleloosa, I doubt we'd have one in Dodge Junction. It's more populated than Appleloosa, but that just makes it the big fish in the small pond.

"Sheriff Silverstar saw that happen?" Lou shook her head, at least I think she did. Her robes moved as if she had.

"The Sheriff sent the report, but it was your town's deputy who saw them."

"Quickdraw?"

"I don't remember his name; it's not my business. My business, mister..."

"Pinhead."

"... Mr. Pinhead, is to get rid of changelings. Now, if you'd kindly let the Lance Corporal escort you back to your hometown."

Lance Corporal? Oh no... don't tell me...

"Lance Corporal Summitplunge reporting for duty, ma'am." Summitplunge swoops down and lands next to me. He salutes Lou with his good hoof. The one I broke is wrapped up tight in a hard cast. I guess they didn't turn him into glue.

"What happened to you?" I ogle his cast with feigned interest. He snorts, making it obvious that it's a sore point for him.

"A word of warning to you citizen: nopony tangles with the current Changeling King without getting a scratch or two," Lou answers my question, much to my surprise.

"Is that why you've got the robes?" The question was obviously not one I was allowed to ask. All three guards backed off the moment it left my lips, but Lou stomped right up and put her hooded visage into mine.

"Citizen," her tone is cool, despite the tension in the air.

"Special Agent..."

"You wouldn't mind submitting to a test, would you?" Her tone is even as ever, which makes me worry about the designs forming in her mind.

"What kind of test?" The Lou that stands before me is a slight variation on the one I met in Manehattan. She is out for vengeance, and she isn't afraid to sublimate her anger onto an innocent pony.

"I will perform the changeling reversion spell on you, just for protocol's sake." This isn't good. "It will burn momentarily, provided you are not actually a changeling." Under her hood, I can see the energy starting to charge in her horn. I barely managed against the Forty Third when I had a small force on my side, so there is no way I can take them and a bunch of unicorns all by myself. Bloodbuzz and Plundergrub would join in if I was in trouble, but I don't know how much of a difference two changelings could make.

Even though the spell hasn't launched yet, I can feel my disguise starting to fail. I consider changing right there and then in order to keep the element of surprise on my side, but I hold out. I take a deep breath to relax myself, bracing myself for a fight against a group of ponies I did not particularly care for. I'll make my stand here, show them I still mean business. Today might be the day I impose upon the sanctity of another's life.

The inside of Lou's robe is getting brighter and brighter. When the spell is ready on the tip of her hoof, I get a fleeting and haunting glance at her face.

*thwam*

Lou's horn dies down as everypony turns to get a look at what's going on behind me. It sounded a lot like something heavy had slammed into the ground, but there isn't any sign of that.

"What's going on?" Summitplunge shouts, as if he could see some sort of invisible commotion. Two helmet adorned heads pop out from an alley a little ways behind our position. Two unicorns emerge, dragging behind them a familiar looking pony.

"Sir! We caught this stallion snooping around!" The unicorns throw the yellow body in question down at my hooves.

"Braeburn?" There is a lot going through my head right now, but Lou shoves me aside and examines my fallen friend. He stirs, dizzy from whatever the guards had done to apprehend him. He looks up at Lou first, but his eyes shift over to me.

He winks.

"Well, is he a changeling or not?" Lou asks. The two guards steal a glance at one another before shaking their heads. "How do you know?"

"He's a pony, ma'am!" Lou is not satisfied with the answer. She charges her spell and blasts Braeburn with it in a brilliant, silver flash. He grunts in pain, the spell searing him instead of freeing him from a false body.

"Get these two out of here. We have official business to attend to," is all Lou says before turning and walking away. I don't know where all her anger from before went, but this seems like an anti-climactic ending to my time in Dodge Junction. Doesn't matter, though, seeing as I can bet that this isn't the last I'll see of the UCR.

The two unicorns salute to their superior and escort Braeburn and me to a strangely rustic looking wagon. When we're both inside and the guards are hitched up, Braeburn lets out the breath he'd been holding in.

"Welp, that was excitin'! Do you fellas do this kinda thing often?"

"... I don't follow."

"Your majesty," one the guards speaks as he turns and looks up at me. "Will we be returning to Appleloosa?"

"Bloodbuzz?"

"Plundergrub too!" the other guard announces as he turns and smiles. I must have the weirdest look on my face right now.

"Uh yeah... Appleloosa... but... but... Braeburn?!" I look at the pony, emphasis on pony, who is sitting in the wagon with me. As we lurch forward, Braeburn removes his hat and casts his eyes downward.

"Ah reckon I owe you an apology yer highness..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa... are you a changeling?" I ask. Braeburn quickly shakes his head, making this situation one million times more confusing. "Okay... if you're not a changeling you don't have to call me 'your highness' or 'your majesty' or anything like that." Braeburn's eyes shoot towards my subjects momentarily. "You need to explain this to me, all of it."

"Well, it goes like this: Quickdraw came to me one mornin' an' told me to be on the lookout fer any strangers comin' into town. He says, 'send 'em homeward, we can't trust nopony right now'. I didn't know what had him so riled up, but I wasn't about to argue with 'im. When you an' yer daughter... well, I guess she isn't your daughter..."

"Oh, you've got that right..."

"When the two of y'all showed up, I reckoned ya didn't mean no harm. Just a kid an' her father, out fer a good time. Quickdraw wanted me to turn y'all back all the same, but I plead your case. He allowed you to stay, on the condition that I monitor you as close as I could.

"I didn't wanna do it, but I was just so dern curious to see what Quickdraw was so antsy about. Y'all turned out to be a nice pony from what I saw. Goin' 'round town an' talkin' to ponies 'bout their families and askin' how long they'd been in good 'ol Appleloosa. Add that to yer healin' Sweet Tea like that and bein' honest about lookin' 'round for somepony, Ah figured you as trustworthy. I knew there was somethin' up 'bout yer story though, seein' as yer 'daughter' told me she was an only child an' y'all were split from her mother."

"I should have paid attention to that alibi," I grumble. I should work a little closer with Chrysalis to solidify our alibis the next time we have to do something like this.

"Ah couldn't pin down what y'all were hiding, so ah kept watchin'. I saw y'all leave this mornin', an' Quickdraw was talkin' to those ponies, an' then you ran off an' turned into... yerself I reckon."

"And you followed me all the way to Dodge Junction?" If Braeburn woke up early just to track me down, I'm impressed by his resolve to find out my secret. Although, a true private eye would have spied into our room and seen our true forms beforehand.

"It weren't easy, once you changed into yerself Ah lost y'all. Ah didn't want to show up to Dodge Junction fer no reason, what with the changeling inspection goin' on-"

"You knew about that?" Braeburn nods before continuing his story. I guess it was common knowledge.

"Ah grabbed my cart so it looked like I had business of some sort, but when Ah got here y'all were talking to a bunch of guards. Ah was duckin' behind some barrels watchin' an' wonderin' what to do, but then these two unicorn guards come up behind me. Ah don't know what they were gonna do, seein' as your buddies here came 'round and took 'em out. They almost went for me too, but Ah explained to them Ah was on their side."

"How'd he do that?" I ask, turning to Bloodbuzz.

"He said he was 'with yer kingship'." Somehow, it feels like they were too easily convinced. Braeburn picks the story back up.

"They announced they were gonna jump in an' rescue you, but Ah came up with the whole 'capture me' plan. Ah don't know how you usually do things, but Ah prefer not to see ponies get hurt. That mare just needed somepony to let her frustrations out on, I reckoned." Braeburn is laughing at the conclusion of his tale, but I'm not amused.

"Why?"

"Pardon?"

"Why help me? Why help us? We're changelings. Changelings and ponies don't mix," I explain, even if I don't see the need to. It's an axiom everypony adheres to; it's just how status quo works. The stallion across from me puts his hat back on.

"Well... fer now Ah just wanna know what yer doin' in Appleloosa. To be honest, if'n you'd just trotted up in yer regular changeling form I woulda applebucked you back to wherever it is ya'll come from." Honesty is always refreshing. "In a month, though, ya'll haven't done anythin' Ah thought a King of the Changelings would do to a little town like Appleloosa. Nopony got their love drained or nothin'. So what Ah wanna know is, why? What're you actually lookin' fer Mr. Cocoon?"

I find myself at a fork in the road. I could lie to Braeburn, use his trust in me to make sure he keeps helping me. I could tell him Quickdraw is a renegade changeling or something like that. I could turn him against his own kind. He's opened the door that would allow me to do that. Maybe I don't even have to lie. If his mind is open to me, I could simply control him like a puppet. Either way, he could be a useful tool.

"I'm looking for a creature called a human." I don't want to lose his trust, and if I do lose it I want to lose it telling the truth.

"A... human? Never heard of it. Is it dangerous?"

"It could be, but that's not why I'm looking for it. It doesn't belong in Equestria, so I need to find it and take it home."

"Okay... so, what's it look like?"

"Doesn't matter what it looks like because here in Equestria it takes the form of a pony, just like you."

"It's like a changeling then?" I shake my head. It is a bit of a hard concept to grasp, seeing as it barely makes any sense at all. I'd chalk that on up to the Master of Things Not Making Sense.

"It can't change back into its original form. It lives life and goes around just like any other pony in the world."

"Then how do you find it?"

"... I've been wondering the same thing. I got lucky this time, though. By chance I dropped a message to any human near your town and got a response. I have a feeling I know who did it now; I just need to know a few things."

"What's that?"

"I've only ever seen him with a hat on... but is Quickdraw a unicorn?" Braeburn nodded, confirming my suspicions. "Bloodbuzz, why was Quickdraw suspicious of you?"

"He saw Plundergrub and me flying away from your rock, your majesty. From that point on, he hounded us whenever we got close to town."

"Why didn't you change forms?"

"We tried, but he would turn back any traveler he didn't recognize. We instead tried to sneak in at unruly hours for ponies, but he'd always catch us." With the final piece of information in place, I'm sure I know who the human in Appleloosa is.

"The wedding... has it started yet?"