I yawn as walk through the palace halls with a wiggling sack on my back heading to the laundry room. As I was walking I looked around trying to find the source of all this groaning and moaning going around. As I was coming up to a hallway I heard the sounds of desperate panting and running hooves as a pony ran and tried to turn the corner but in that short time where he had to slow down for the turn three other ponies that were chasing him tackled him to the ground.

“Help! Please help me!” He begged as the three ponies clamped their jaws onto him and dragged him screaming into a nearby room so dark the shadows appeared to devour him before the door slammed shut.

“Oh that’s what all the moaning is about. It’s mating season.” I say aloud to no one. “Which means day off from princessing! You hear that Phantom Rin?” I asked my shadow that pealed itself off the wall and did a little dance as we walked. Mating time was the one time of the year when all work stops. One would think that outsiders would try and capitalize on this and invade and in fact they have. They just stopped trying when every army that tried was quickly trounced by horny mares and repeatedly raped until mating season was over.

“Hello Celestia. Hello Luna. Nice day isn’t it?” I asked the girls that were bashing against and chewing on a very sturdy and magically reinforced door. “I guess this means that no breakfast will be waiting. Oh well that’s what the muffin button is for.” I say as I get to the washing machine and dumped my bag full of living toys from Toy town in and started it up. “I wonder how Dr. Wolf is doing right now?” I ask aloud. Shortly after me and my shadow burst out laughing. “It’s times like this I’m glad I was made female.”

Meanwhile in Ponyville.

Dr. Wolf held his breath in fear in the hopes of staying hidden from the mares in this town that were sniffing around outside. He waited there with lungs begging for air until the mares shambled off with drool dripping down their chins. Once the coast was clear he let out the breath he was holding and started thinking about his next move.

“I know this was a recurring joke in fanfics but they were never this bad in the stories. This is more like a zombie outbreak.” He whispered to himself. “I need to find Rin. Her dungeon is probably the only safe place to-” He stopped talking when more mares moved past the house he was hiding under. “Why can’t I have super powers like other displaced.” He groaned to himself once he felt he was safe. Quietly he crawled out of his hiding place and made a run for the outskirts of town. Once it looked like he was home free the trolls that send him hate mail in the form of real life popups chose that moment to strike and he ran face first into one making him give an involuntary yelp. Realizing what he just did he looked around at the zombie mares that were shambling out of every door and alleyway and staring at him.

“...Look a distraction!” Wolf shouted as he pointed to somewhere off in the distance before turning and running. The mares not once fooled by his attempted trick gave chase. “Shit shit shit shit shit shit! I need help!” He shouted out. At that moment a card smacked into his face and when he took it off he saw it was a Yu-gi-oh card of the Dark Magician.

“I am the Dark Magician, the ace to the king of games, co protector of all Elements and CMC, the watcher of all displace, co founder of Neo Domino Town and co bearer of the millennium Items of understanding. If you need my help raise this card into the air and call my name and I will come to light your darkest hour.”

“Dark Magician, this is Dr. Wolf. And I need help now!” Wolf screamed out in a panic. At that moment a portal opened up and a human man in purple clothes and a really pointy looking hat came out but before he could say anything he was taken by surprise as several mares tackled him and started dragging him off. “Be careful it’s mating season.” Dr. Wolf shouted back to the man that was being dragged away.

“Not to worry. My bodyguard/ girlfriend will be here in 3..2.” Dark Magician said just a another portal open up and a pissed off Dark Magician Girl stepped out and punched the mares that were dragging him away.

“He is mine you pervy bitches.” Dark Magician Girl said angrily as she cast a spell to freeze the mares in place.

“Th-thank you.” Dr. Wolf said between puffs as he tried to catch his breath. “I do not want to know what would have happened if… is that supposed to happen?” Wolf asked as the mares twitched and stopped like a poorly done claymation. The unicorn’s horns glowing as they fought against the spell. “That… doesn't look like it’s going to hold. We need to find Rin. She’s a Dungeon Keeper displaced and her dungeon might be the only safe place in this Equestria. Can either of you detect dark magic? She is the most powerful dark magic user of this world so if you can then finding her should be easy.” Dr. Wolf said in a desperate sounding voice.

“We already know who Rin is and finding her will be easy.” Dark Magician said simply as he open a portal to Canterlot Castle's laundry room.

“I see you called for backup.” I say as I saw the good doctor come through a portal with the Dark Magician and the Dark Magician Girl. “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Rin it’s nice to meet you.” I say as I extend two of my tails to shake which they took.

“You’re doing laundry? Seriously!?” Dr. Wolf asked me as he looked around. “And...is that your shadow?” He asked pointing at my assistant.

“Yes. Her name is Phantom Rin. And no this isn’t laundry a baby got into Toy town and made everything sticky. I already had the town cleaned I’m just washing the residence.” I answer as the buzzer went off and I opened the drier to reveal a lot of living toy pinkies and stuffed animals that were all clearly very dizzy before putting them all in a fresh bag.

“Aww. They are so cute.” Dark Magician Girl said while looking at the toy Pinkies. “You got more Pinkies then we got Revive Pinkies back in our Equestria.” She added.

“Don’t forget we got the other revive mane six and CMC as well.” Dark Magician said simply.

“Um… They’re just the clones from the Mirror Pool incident that I used my dollification spell on. It’s a curse that turns whatever it hits into a plush toy that whenever you squeeze.” I say and finish the sentence with a demonstration by pulling out a Pinkie and squeezing her tummy making her open her mouth wide and give out a squeak.

“So cute.” Dark Magician Girl cooed at the squeaking Pinkie while Dark Magician just sighed. Rin smiled at Dark Magician Girl’s reaction before putting the Pinkie back in the bag and pulling out a plushy wolf.

“Some of my toys were actual animals I practiced the magic stealing spell on. I won’t give you a Pinkie but would you like a living squeaky wolf plushie?” I asked her as I held the toy wolf out to her. The toy wolf was just looking up at her with big puppy dog eyes while panting.

“I would love to have her.” Dark Magician Girl said as she grabbed the wolf plushie.

“Might we have a copy notes of the dollifcation spell and I will give you notes for the Shits and Giggles spell?” Dark Magician asked.

“I’m sorry but can we do this in your dungeon? I would like to be somewhere I could relax!” Dr Wolf shouted in annoyance.

“...You shouldn’t have shouted. Celestia and Luna are just down the hall.” I say to him causing his white fur to somehow get even paler than it normally was. Everyone turned to the doorway leading into the hall at the sound of hooves approaching.

“So anyways what’s the Shits and Giggles spell? I asked with a smile after leaving the good doctor on the horrifying realization on what he had just done.

“It’s a spell that makes the target fart as loud as the royal Canterlot voice for as long as the caster wants.” Dark Magician said simply while Dark Magician Girl was giggling with the toy wolf.

“Why are we just standing here?! We need to go!” Dr. Wolf shouted in a panic as the two royal sisters came in and charged and Dr. Wolf and Dark Magician.

“Back off!” Dark Magician Girl yelled as she freeze the royal sisters with floating glowing swords.

“Wait are those the swords of revealing light? You can cast card spells too? Forget the fart spell I want magical hats! That would be so much fun at parties!” I say excitedly as cracks started appearing on the swords. “Oh by the way, during mating season the limitations placed on ponies goes bye bye. Just like that one mom that lifted a car to save her kid. Can you imagine how strong an alicorn is under those conditions?” I ask as one of the swords breaks like glass.

“Rin I swear if you don't get us to safety right now the first thing I’m going to do when this is all over is point out to Pinkie how many birthdays and holidays you missed when you were in stone!” Dr. Wolf threatened.

“Oh alright be that way.” I say as I open a portal and Wolf jumps in like it was the only water around and he was on fire. The rest of us followed shortly and just at the portal closed the sound of those swords breaking could be heard.

“Welcome to my playroom where I keep my toys. Make yourselves at home.” I say as I walk over to Toy town and unlatch the lid before dumping the bag’s contents inside. “Now about that spell trade.” I said but stopped when my body guards and Trixie from this world came in with crazed eyes making Dr. Wolf scream like a five year old girl. “Hold on I have a spell for this.” I say as I quickly cast the create gold spell and transmuted some of it into a gold necklace to use as a material component and let it go creating stallions which made excellent scapegoats. I then grabbed the mares and the sacrifices with my hand and dumped them in a room with a steel door which I quickly locked. “Summon Harem spell.” I say with a smile. I then make more necklaces with the conjured gold just in case.

“Anyways let’s get on with the trade.” I said once I was done and summoned up some paper and quickly got to work copying down all the notes for dollification.

“Nice and here's a copy of the Magical Hats spell and the Shits and the Giggle spell.” Dark Magician said as he gave Rin the notes. “You know that you might need to use it on a Goody Hero member.” He added.

“I might use the Magical Hats in battle but the only way I see the Shits and Giggles spell being that effective against those guys is if I used it on Celestia or Luna and aimed them carefully. Had you used that spell on them a short while ago...Trust me you’re glad you didn’t.” I say as I finished writing and handed the notes on dollification over.

“Thank you. And the reason why I suggested using that spell on them was because I and Dark Magician Girl knows one of them.” Dark Magician implies as he pockets the note.

“Please tell me they haven't learned how to hop dimensions.” I say with a groan. “Besides I have several curses that I can hit them with. The Morgan Freeman curse makes a disembodied voice narrate every little thing the victim does. You can guess who’s voice it is. And that’s one of the nice curses compared to others. I know curses beyond what you know as cruelty. Allow me to demonstrate.” I say darkly and before either magician could react I locked a curse on them. And their noses started itching like crazy! And it wasn’t just any itch ether. It was that one itch deep inside that makes you feel like you’re going to sneeze but you never do. “Left unchecked that curse will last years!” I shout before laughing maniacally. I laugh genuinely when I feel them trying to break the curse and failing. “I know curses well enough to know all the tricks to break them so mine are tougher. Here let me.” I say as I break my own curse.

“Nah. They don’t know how to hop dimensions. We are just saying that this Equestria’s Lyra is a member of the Goodly Heroes.” Dark Magician Girl said smiling.

“...I had my suspicions. Thanks for the info though.” I say sadly. Poor Bon-bon is going to be so upset. “Anyways that can wait until mating season is over… So. Want to play a game or something? Not even the Goodlies would try anything at this time of the year.” I asked them. Not sure what else to do with my day.

“We could play poker.” Dark Magician suggested.

“I was thinking more along the lines of video games. I have an arcade and trust me the games are so fun they’ll suck you right in.” I say with a smile at my phrasing.

“Oh. Like the one where you fight against Sans from Undertale.” Dark Magician Girl said grinning. “Do you have Team Fortress 2 as well?” She asked.

“First of all I’m calling that game Boss Fight because it’s just a collection of all the video game boss fights I can think of and I still have room to add more. Secondly please stop spying on me. It’s creepy. And as for Team Fortress 2…

“That’s right! You can’t compete with my wrench whacking skills!” I shout out as I repeatedly whack my turret to upgrade it while it blows away a robot medic that got too far from his team.

“Boom headshot!” Dark Magician shouted as he sniped a robot Heavy while Dark Magician Girl was burning all of the robot Scouts.

“Die!” Dr. Wolf shouted as he ran around with his comically large heavy gun. The toy wolf I gave to Dark Magician Girl was following him closely wearing a tiny lab coat with a tiny medic gun that it somehow held, aimed with and fired with its mouth.

“Getting a little intense aren't you doc?” I asked as I set up a new dispenser for everyone as the last one was blown up. “Violence is a choice!”

“I’m not him!” Dr. Wolf shouted. “I’m a real psychiatrist! And you’re lucky I’m here! While you have been changing the timeline I’ve been working hard to make sure that Twilight still learns all of her lessons about friendship!” Dr. Wolf shouted out.

“Making sure Twilight ascends? You are a true fan.” I say with a smile.

“Twilight? I make sure all of them learn every friendship lesson! When that spell is cast I want to see six alicorns!” Dr. Wolf replied as he gave an insane laugh as he uses his heavy weapon to crush in the head of a robot spy. “...sorry I have a lot of pent up aggression right now.”

“You could of used that on the mares in bed like Pervy Lich sometimes does.” Dark Magician Girl said with a giggle as she burns another robot spy.

“Ug! No! I’m not into ponies!” Dr. Wolf said as he rushed over to my dispenser to reload. “At least not in that way.”

“Hey doc you know your plan can’t work right? There is only one aspect of friendship to go to a goddess in this world. You would need to find another aspect for each pony if that was your plan.” I say and just like that Dr. Wolf froze in his place with wide eyes.

“...”

Meanwhile in the Griffin Kingdom

The griffin king was eating his roasted bore that he had hunted and killed himself. As he tore off a large hunk of meat angry shouting filled the air.

“%@#%! %^#%#! %$&^%$! ^$^$#$! %$#%^%! $^$^$^! &^*&^%$! %^$$*!”

The king’s eyes widened in surprise at the profanity that traveled to his kingdom from afar. Slowly his eyes narrowed and he quickly rose from his table and rushed to the nearest window.

“You think you can out swear me!? This is how you cuss!” The griffin king shouted. And for the rest of the day the capital of the Griffin Kingdom was filled with profanities.

Back in the game.

Everything was quiet. Even the robots stopped their attack to stare at the panting wolf.

“Dude. Take a chill pill.” Dark Magician said as he quickly sniped a Robot Soldier while it was looking at Dr Wolf.

“... Apologies for this. But it’s not healthy to keep this much pent up anger. And you of course understand how frustrating it is to work so hard towards something only for it to be a waist. So if you’ll excuse me.” At that Dr. Wolf dropped his weapon and attacked the robots with nothing but his claws. He was so angry that he was killing the robots so fast that the rest of us were unable to kill anything before he could get to them. The toy wolf gave one long look at the bigger wolf and quickly decided that it would go back to its owner and beg to be carried.

“... I think the game's over.” I say as I sit down and watch the robot carnage.

“For the robots or for us?” Dark Magician Girl asked as she points to a Sentry Buster that was heading towards Rin.

“Yes.” I reply simply. Shortly after Dr. Wolf jumped on the Buster and started tearing it apart. “They’re being destroyed faster than the game is generating them. And it doesn't look like he’s slowing down any time soon.”
“I wonder if you should make him a guard or something.” Dark Magician said as he threw a jar of piss at a robot spy only for it to be tackled out of the way by Dr. Wolf and shredded causing the jar to smash uselessly against the ground.

“...I think I need to make him a portable game to vent. Like Warriors of Hyrule.” I saw with a sweat-drop.

“Can you imagine if Twilight used this game to vent as well or Fluttershy?” Dark Magician Girl asked while sweat dropping herself.

“I think Fluttershy would just apologize to the mobs for hurting their weapons with her face.” I say as I summon up a deck of cards. “Soo. You said something about poker?”

“Yeah. So what do we bet with?” Dark Magician asked. I just wave my paws and gold coins fall from the sky.

“Create gold spell. Normally I use this spell to create materials for transmutation but we can use them as chips. Or if you want to bet something we can take home as real prizes we can bet magical knowledge like spells.” I reply while looking to my guests for their answer.

“Hmm that could work. We could also bet weapons and hats if we want to. Because I can always buy more weapons and hats from Mane-Co.” Dark Magician said as he made a table and some chairs appeared from nowhere.

“Alright. But I feel I must warn you. I have a good poker face.” I reply as I take a seat. Phantom Rin pulling herself off the ground and sitting beside me. “You want to shuffle the deck? For some reason most people don’t trust me to do it.”

“Sure. But I think most people might think you cheat because you are a fox or something along those lines.” Dark Magician said as he starts to shuffle the deck.

“Ya, something.” I say as I take the cards given to me. I discard two cards and draw two. “I’ll wager the swarm spell first. Conjure up a swarm of angry bees that attack the target for a short time.”

“Ok. I wager the swords of revealing light spell.” Dark Magician said as he discard one card and pick up one new card. “It’s a spell that can freeze targets from 3 minutes to 3 hours.” He added as he place the note for the spell on the table.

“I have a shiny four of a kind ace kicker.” I say showing my four nines.

“Well I got four aces.” Dark Magician said while showing he had four aces.

“...that’s five aces...If you’re going to cheat you should make it more believable by using cards that won’t show that there are more cards in play then there should be.” I say in a deadpan.

“Then what was your card number five then?” Dark Magician asked with a rise eyebrow.

“It’s a basic deck, no jokers and my full hand is four nines and the ace of diamonds.” I say in an annoyed tone as I display my hand.

“Then someone must have slip the fifth ace in because I didn’t do it.” Dark Magician said as he had a closer look at the cards he got and notice it had balloons in the middle of the ace of diamonds. “I think this one belong to one of the toy Pinkies.” He added while showing me the card.

“Can’t be. They have cards fit for their size. It would have to be the original. But the deck was just opened. Not even that, I took them out of an unopened box with my hand of evil. The only way she could have planted a card is if she was here now...wait why is it so quiet?” I ask as I look around but Dr. Wolf was nowhere to be found. But there was some confetti laying around. “...think we should save him?”

“Nope.” Dark Magician Girl said while wearing a engie outfit.

“He can handle one mare can’t he?” Dark Magician asked.

“...Well he handled Twilight’s crazy but this is Pinkie with heat driven super strength and even less self control and more crazy. What do you think?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well I think he is as good as fucked right about now.” Dark Magician said while putting his hat on his chest for a minute before putting it back on his head.

“Hmmm… They’re in my torture chamber.” I say after focusing on my territory and trying to find any intruders. “...Well I don’t want to face Pinkamena in a room full of sharp things soooo…” With that I grab the deck and start looking through it. “The deck looks fine. Maybe she was hoping for a distraction trying to make it look like one of us cheated?”

“Maybe. I would have thought she would set up some bigger prank than-” BOOM! The card exploded in his hand at that moment with pink candy scented smoke. “I have walked into that one haven’t I?” Dark Magician asked with a deadpan while Dark Magician Girl was laughing her ass off.

“Ohhh. My poor foxy nose.” I complain as I tried to block the scented smoke from invading my nostrils. “Sometimes having such a good sense of smell sucks!” With that I end the game getting us all out of there. “Oh fresh air I…” I stop what I was saying when I saw that the Dark Magician was covered head to toe in pink...something with glitter all over. “It is taking every ounce of the willpower I have not to laugh...Who am I kidding? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Laugh it up. Because when the heat season is over my first revive Rainbow Dash or my sister is going to pay your Pinkie a visit with a revenge prank.” Dark Magician said as he cast a spell to clean himself of all the pink and glitter.

“Good luck with that.” I say after I calm down. After I caught my breath there was a flash of something teleporting in and I looked over to see one of my imps that after looking around for a moment spotted me and ran over.

“Mistress! Big tree running away!” It cried out.

“Wait my experiment!?” I cried out. When the imp nodded I created a portal to the Badlands to see what was going on. My imp and two guests close behind. Once we were there I looked up at the giant black crystal that rose up like a giant cup. The barrier I placed on the top and the tree inside was gone.

“So what is this about a running tree?” Dark Magician asked while looking at some of the black crystals.

“You know how if you try to use one kind of magic to cast a spell meant for another you can get different results? Well I know this iron lich who let me copy some books and one was full of druid magic. I wanted to test them using my dark magic so this black crystal was created to be a giant flower pot. There was also a barrier that was placed over it to keep my experiment contained.” I say as I look around. “The tree was the result of a spell that was supposed to grow a forest. By itself it didn’t work but I tried again my casting it on a single seed and I got a dead looking tree that sucked the life force out of everything in the dirt I placed in the crystal pot. I left an imp to watch it to see if anything changes.”

“So now it got up and ran away?” Dark Magician Girl asked while holding a flamethrower. “Also we know who that Pervy Lich is that you are friends with.” She added.

“I made sure this was a controlled environment. Is this just a second stage to the spell?” I asked as I look around and spot a brown feather as big as my imp. “Or has something from the outside been introduced to the test site. Imp explain this feather!” I order.

“Big stupid birdy try to eat impy! Land on big bubble and try to gobble impy up! But tree break bubble and gobble birdy up instead! Even drink up all the blood.” The imp explained.

“What does this tree look like?” Dark Magician asked the imp.

“Tree looks like tree. But after it gobbled up birdy it change. All slimy now. Also has bones showing and has one big birdy eye!” The imp replied.

“You mean it used the body of the bird to add to itself?” I asked getting a nod from the imp.

“Does this thing have a number on a spot of its body?” Dark Magician asked the imp again with burrow eyes.

“Ummm me no know? Didn’t look too much. Ran to get mistress like a good impy!” It replied. “Went that way though!” The imp said as it pointed off into the distance. “Make funny growly noises. Think it still hungry.” After hearing this I focus on my dungeon and use my hand to put Echo’s saddle and goggles on him and create a portal to bring him here.

“Come on Echo we need to find a tree.” I tell my mount as I pet his head and climb onto his back and strap myself in. “Umm… Can you fly?” I asked the two magicians.

“Yes we can.” Dark Magician answered as he and Dark Magician Girl started floating in the air.With a nod I pat Echo and he lifted off the ground and picked up the imp before we flew off in the direction that the imp pointed out. After a short flight we heard a loud roar and moved quickly to see the tree over a hill. The roar was coming from a large creature that looked kind of like a rhino only it had a longer body and in place of a sharp horn it had a hammer like lump on its nose.

The tree itself though definitely tree shaped look like a fusion of wood and flesh. Its body pulsed in a few places like it had a heart beat and it did have one large falcon like eye. Around its body was bones that make it look like it was trying to build itself a skeleton. It’s roots were long and tentacle like. And a good number of those roots were dug deep into the flesh of the animal. They pulsed while making gulping sounds as the creature got more and more shriveled.

“The tree is sucking that things blood. It has a connection to my heart so it’s mine. I’m going to try and give it an order.” I say as I fly closer. “Hey sit!” I call out. The tree looks at me with its one big eye before it started absorbing the flesh and bone of the creature. “...right I guess that order doesn't work with a body like that. Do a jig!” As soon as it finished eating it grew a little then looked back at me expectantly. It was swaying from side to side but in all fairness that could just be because it’s so tall. But it’s not showing any hostility. Nor did it when I was studying it before. So I carefully get closer while readying an attack and when I was in it’s range...It just kept staring at me. “Hmmm.” I cast the create imp spell creating an imp that landed on one of its branches but that only warranted a passing glance from the monster. So I moved in closer and poked it...nothing.

“Looks like you got a tree friend now.” Dark Magician Girl said while staring at the tree monster. As soon as she got close though the tree reached out and tried to grab her. But she dodge the grab. “No touche.” Dark Magician Girl said with a wave a finger at the tree.

“No they are friends! Not food!” I chastised and the tree looked back at me expectantly. “Are you waiting for me to feed you? You just ate two big meals.” I say. After my reply it started walking away again. “Hey stop! Bad tree!” I shout giving chase but it ignored the order in favor of looking for more nourishment. “Alright fine you want some munchies? You got to earn them. See that rock over there?” I ask it while pointing at a boulder nearby which got its attention. “Break it.” The tree slowly moved over to the rock and wrapped its roots around it and slowly crushed it before moving back to me with that expectant look.

“The slow and tanky type but works for treats.” I say as I use my hand to grab as many chickens as it could hold from one of my hatcheries and created a portal that I tossed them through creating a chicken geyser. “There eat those.” At my order it began smashing the chickens into a bloody mess and sunk its roots into the blood soaked ground which quickly began to dry up.

“I take it it’s like a vampire tree or something.” Dark Magician said while the tree was eating the chickens or what was left of them.

“Ya but what an appetite. I can easily keep feeding it indefinitely at this size but it’s much bigger than it was before. I’m getting this little shop of horrors vibe. I hope it’s done growing. It grew instantly after feeding on that creature before.” I say as I look the tree over. It now has bone like thorns about its body. It gets bigger when it absorbs the flesh and bones but it didn’t grow while it was sucking out the blood. “Listen up tree! You do as I say and I’ll keep the chickens coming. But you can’t get any bigger. No more flesh and bones ok?” I ask but the tree’s focus was on the ground as it slurped up the last of the blood. The ground wasn't even stained by the time it was done. “Did you hear me?!” I shouted and it responded by making the broken chicken bones shoot up out of the ground along with feathers and chicken jerky. “I’ll take that as a yes...Question. How do you feel about me putting a tree house on your head?” It just looked at me in incomprehension.

“I think you just offended it.” Dark Magician said with a rise eyebrow.

“Na he’s cool aren't you buddy?” I ask as I have Echo land on a branch and I give the tree a pat. “Feels like petting a giant tongue.” I look down at the tree that was giving me that expectant look. “You’re a bottomless pit aren't you?” I ask as I bring more chickens which it promptly got to work on. “I’m going to call you… Garfield! Because it looks like you never stop eating. Now what would make a good name for your spices?” I mused. “You're the first of your kind and considering your appetite I don’t plan to make another but still.”

“Blood tree?” Dark Magician Girl suggested.

“Hmmm good as any. Hey Garfield can you do anything other than move slowly and break heard things?” I asked it and it got this look in its eye. As if to prove to me it could be fast at least in its swings it swung a branch with the speed of a boxer. “Hey wait what is that cloth you have in your...Oh my.” I say and I turn my head away so not to stare at Dark Magician Girl’s now exposed lower body. “Something tells me you would get along well with Ax.”

“The pervy Lich isn’t my type and I would kick him in the balls if he try this or stare at my breasts.” Dark Magician Girl said with a deadpan as she use her magic to create some replacement clothes.

“I was talking to the tree.” I said.

“It’s a pervy tree.” Dark Magician Girl said as she place her clothes on.

“I wouldn’t.” I say when I see the tree move its branch like it was going to do it again.

“Keep your branches to yourself you perv!” Dark Magician Girl said as she dodge again. The tree blinked at this and looked down. Like it was torn between eating and pulling up its roots so it could reach Dark Magician Girl again.

“I’m getting a feeling this is going to be a recurring thing whenever I bring you anywhere.” I say to Garfield. “Come on I know a good place to plant you in my dungeon. I told the tree as I create a portal big enough for it. Once we enter a large unused room I have my imps dig a large and deep hole which I fill with dirt and turn the rest of the room around it into a hatchery. Once the chickens started popping up Garfield quickly rooted himself in and used some of his roots to pull chickens in to smash them while drinking with the ones under the dirt.

“Help me!” I heard Dr. Wolf’s voice scream out as I saw him running down the hall naked except for the chains and ball gag hanging around his neck. A crazed Pinkie close behind. When he saw us the doctor moved straight for us.

“Baby.” Dark Magician simply said as he created a barrier right in the way of Dr. Wolf’s path.

“Noooooo! Rin save me!” He begged while giving me the most pitiful look. With a sigh I grab him in my magic and lift him up out of the pink mare's reach. Once I did that the crazed pink mare turned her attention towards us and started bucking the barrier. Desperately trying to get in.

“Good luck with that. This barrier is Pinkie Pie proof.” Dark Magician said with a yawn at Pinkie’s failing to break the barrier. At his words the Pink mare took off down the hall disappearing from sight. The next moment the Dark Magician's Hat lifted up to reveal the Pinkie underneath.

“You just had to challenge Pinkie Pie of all ponies to get in didn’t you?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Which is why I plan ahead.” Dark Magician said as he summons a floating cupcake. However the temptation of a cupcake was overpowered by another. But right before she was about to tear into the Dark Magician in more ways than one Pinkie was grabbed by a branch and pulled away with a startled squeak. Panicked I turned to save Pinkie only to witness something I never wanted to see.

“Oh, oh that is some evil dead shit right there.” I say is disgust. “Don’t hurt her Garfield!” I order when I saw that pinkie was very consensual and turned away. “Well I’m going to go take so many baths right now. I feel so dirty. So I guess this is goodbye for now.”

“I guess. So what are you going to do about Lyra once the heat season is over?” Dark Magician asked while Dark Magician Girl was taking pictures of the tree and Pinkie.

“...I don’t know yet. I’m going to talk to Celestia and Luna about it when they are back in their right mind. Probably while we go through the new orders and laws she created in this state of mind to make sure she hasn’t commissioned another city made out of cake.” I reply as I turned to leave while using my hand to send Echo back to his enclosure.

“Call us if you need any help in the future.” Dark Magician said as he opens a portal back to his Equestria and steps in.

“Goodbye and watch out for number monsters.” Dark Magician Girl said with wave as she steps into the portal which close afterwards. As I stepped out of the room Dr. Wolf just gave me a flat look before flicking a card in my face.

“Here. I don’t think I’ll ever be calling on those back stabbers ever again.” He said before turning away and storming off. “I can’t believe she was going to throw me to the wolves.” I snort at his choice of words and use inspiration manifestation to give him some pants and a shirt. Sending the token with the others I left for my bathroom.

24 hours later.

I had just finished drying off and I was heading to the arcade with Phantom Rin to play some games. My poofed up fur swaying around making me look like a walking chia pet without all the green. When I got there I frown at the mess of cards and chaires and one table laying around. I just call on some imps to clean it up when a piece of paper caught my eye. Looking at it I smile at the notes on the swords of revealing light that Dark Magician had placed as a bet in the quickly forgotten card game.

Author's Notes:

This one got finished quick didn't it? I hope you all enjoyed reading it. This was a crossover with DarkMagicEn-Forcer-1's story Dark Magic Attack!