Moonlight’s cuckoo clock began blaring a lot earlier than Thomas had become accustomed to since he began sleeping with Luna. Ignoring the comforting warmth of the mare’s back, he pulled himself up and looked over at the offensive clock with an angry sneer. However, he couldn’t hold the anger as his groggy eyes beheld tiny Celestia and Luna figurines that danced within the opened clock while somewhat larger representations of the sun and moon spun around them. The whole thing was absurdly elaborate and must surely have come from some sort of novelties shop.

“Do you like it?” Moonlight asked as she sat up in front of him, her ass still impaled on his cock. “It’s been in my family for generations.”

Of course it is. How could I think otherwise? Thomas scoffed internally, only to have his thoughts shaken as Moonlight slid her legs across his until she was now sitting in his lap. While the human breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn’t accidentally crushed his balls, she continued moving until her legs were hanging off the bed, her ass still full of stallion meat.

Quizzically she peered at him over her shoulder. “Is it normal for a human stallion to always be hard in the morning?”

“Yeah,” Thomas giggled, unsure if the question was born of ignorance of males in general, or if this was yet another difference between species. “It’s called morning wood. I don’t really know why, but yeah. For some reason guys wake up stiff as wood down there, hence the name.”

“Well, we can’t have that, now can we?” Moonlight smirked as she slid off his member with a long sucking sound until it popped out. Still glistening from the remnants of the lubrication spell, Thomas’ cock stood proud, if a bit cold, before his mare as she knelt down in front of him.

“Seriously?” Thomas deadpanned the mare now sitting between his legs.

“What?”

“You know where that’s been, right?”

Moonlight took an experimental sniff. “Seems fine to me. The lubrication spell doubles as a cleaner.”

Thomas blinked. “I did not know that,” he stated flatly.

“Well the one I use does, anyway.” Moonlight waved her hand dismissively and, without further ado, slid her lips around his dick and pumped and sucked until she got her salty reward. “Good?” she asked after her final swallow.

“Y-yeah,” Thomas huffed.

“Good. Now let’s hurry and get cleaned up,” Moonlight ordered, motioning to the bathroom door. “We’ve only got a couple hours until we have to be present for Princess Luna.” She grabbed Thomas by the wrist, along with his overnight bag, and practically dragged him to the bathroom. The shower was brief, but efficient. The same could be said for brushing his teeth, which the mare kept urging him to hurry to finish.

“You always in such a hurry?” He asked amusedly.

“Hurry? This is normal for any military pony. You’re just too used to lazing around,” she said bluntly.

“Can’t argue with that,” Thomas shrugged and continued his endeavor to match the unicorn’s pace. As he did, he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to bring in other mares, as that seemed to be an inevitability everyone around him was expecting. Most likely they would all have their own jobs and routines, requiring a fair amount of adjustment from all parties. It would definitely be an issue if one or more of them weren’t nocturnal. On the other hand, they’d definitely have to look into getting a house before bringing in anyone else, for there was no way anypony else would be comfortable being crammed into a room this small.

At breakfast, the human had very nearly expressed his annoyance at all the congratulations for finally courting. Moonlight, with much more grace, suffered a greater cacophony of well wishes, especially from those who knew her when she was young. Other than that, conversation was largely the usual pleasantries and light teasing all around. However, when they were done, Luna looked quite elated as she informed them that, because of such poor attendance as of late, night court would not be held until later tonight, meaning they had the first half of the evening all to themselves. That is, after the Princess’ cooking lessons. It was more sandwiches.

“So, what do you want to do?” Moonlight asked as she and her stallion sat naked in Luna’s lap. The naked alicorn was massaging both their scalps while the unicorn leaned against Thomas. He was struggling to hold up her weight and she was struggling not to look too pleased with herself as she felt Luna’s breast against her back.

“Donno,” Talon shrugged as she flopped onto her back on the mattress. “What do you wanna do?”

“I vote we stay in,” Thomas raised his hand from his position in Luna’s lap. The alicorn was smiling contentedly as she ran her fingers through his hair and occasionally giggled when her touch elicited a groan of pleasure from either passenger. Thomas did his best to pay no mind to Luna’s gentle fingers massaging his scalp, or the exquisite feeling of her breast poking his back. “I mean, we don’t necessarily have to go out to have fun, right? Also, after these last few nights, I’m kinda pooped.”

“That is because we are no longer applying the endurance spell to you,” Luna hummed casually. “You are left to rely only on your own energy reserves, rather than ours.”

“I’d suggest we fix that with a trip to the gym,” Talon added. “But I’m not feeling it tonight either. I’m also voting for lazy-do-nothing.”

Luna gazed curiously at Talon as an awkward pause befell them. “Surely you do not propose that we actually do nothing at all?”

“Why not?” Talon asked. “After all the hard work we’ve been doing lately, not to mention the drama, I think we’ve earned a little break.”

“But still,” Luna shook her head in disbelief. “How can you actually go about doing… nothing?”

“We can do something,” Thomas reassured. “Just so long as it doesn’t take much energy.”

“Ah,” Luna relaxed at Thomas’ words. “That does sound rather appealing, but what exactly do you propose we do?”

“Smarty-corn,” Talon barked commandingly, shooting her arm up and pointing at the unicorn, all the while never moving from her spot on the bed. “Options.”

Moonlight had inadvertently shot up from her comfortable seat, where she proceeded to ignore the griffon’s snickering as she considered. “My sisters and I used to read together,” she offered. “We’d lie next to each other on the floor and just share a book.”

“That’s an option,” Luna perked up. “Dearest Thomas and I do that from time to time.”

“It’d be kinda awkward with four of us,” Talon frowned. “Unless you propose we pair off?”

Moonlight’s scoffed at Talon’s remark. The thought of cuddling with either her herd-mate or the Princess, or even Talon, had its appeal. However, there was one element which served as a bit of a turn off. “But then it’s not really something we’d be doing together.”

“Fair enough,” Thomas nodded as he waved his hand invitingly over the empty spot in Luna’s lap, which Moonlight gingerly retook. “Any other ideas?”

“Why don’t you tell us a story?” Luna suggested, resting her hands on his shoulders.

“Story?” Talon pushed herself up. “More of chimp’s stories?”

“Yes!” Moonlight cheered as she beamed at Thomas. “I vote for more human stories.”

Luna cleared her throat. “With all due respect, this is not a democracy, but a diarchy,” she corrected sternly. “And as Princess, I hereby order my beloved human to rise to the occasion and entertain us with his tales of yonder.”

Thomas gave a relenting sigh as he hopped down from Luna’s lap. “Not the first time I’ve been asked to ‘rise to the occasion’,” he grumbled convincingly as Talon snickered. After walking a fair ways out to the middle of the carpet, he held his hands far from his body and bowed. “But if it pleases your worship, then honor demands that I-”

“Quit hamming it up and just get on with it!” Talon jeered.

“Quiet, you,” Moonlight snapped. “He’s obviously warming up for his narration.”

“My lovely ladies,” Thomas said melodramatically as he continued to bow. “Ask what you will of me, and I shall give it.”

“So long as you’re offering,” Talon touched her claw to her lower beak in consideration. “I’ve been wondering a little about Halloween. A review I read said the whole thing felt like an opening to something much bigger.”

“I read that too,” Moonlight added, gazing at Thomas expectantly. “Is it true?”

Thomas’ gaze swept over the expectant looks of the unicorn and griffon, and up to the knowing smile of Luna. “That it is, my lovelies. The Nightmare Before Christmas is a beloved story about Jack Skelington and his journey to rekindle his inspiration through the hijacking of Christmas, a holiday with remarkable similarities to Hearth’s Warming Eve.”

“Hearth’s Warming?” Moonlight asked. “So humans have equivalent holidays for both Nightmare Night and Hearth’s Warming?”

“I don’t get it either,” Thomas admitted with a shrug. “Maybe it’ll make a little sense afterwords?”

“Here, here!” Luna cheered as she levitated Talon into her lap to sit beside Moonlight. “On with the story!”

And so Thomas continued the tale that had been a smash hit in Canterlot. He sang, mimicked the motions of the characters, and did what he could to paint a picture with his words. Carefully he studied the expressions of his audience, adding explanations whenever he spotted confusion, which happened surprisingly infrequently. When it was over, Talon and Moonlight were leaning against one another, happy and content.

“That was… amazing,” Moonlight said in awe.

“I can see why they didn’t put all that other stuff in the ride,” Talon added. “They’d have needed, like, a year to set up even half of those scenes.”

“And I’d never really thought of Nightmare Night and Hearth’s Warming like that,” Moonlight chimed in. “I guess it makes sense to see them as sort of opposites, but it never occurred to me to compare them like that. Humans really are quite the creative lot.”

“I’m still racking my brain over how you guys have, like, almost the exact same holidays,” Talon chuckled. “I mean, there’s coincidence, and then there’s smacking implausibility upside the head. Kinda fishy, really,” she said, turning an accusing eye on Thomas.

Does she know? Thomas thought in a brief panic as he locked eyes with Luna, recalling their shared dream yesterday.

**********

In the dream world, Thomas and a sized down Luna were sitting together on a couch having just marathoned an entire season of South Park. Luna was laughing so hard that she had pushed Thomas over as he fell victim to the same fit of giggles. When the pair had calmed down, Luna lay atop of Thomas, lazily tracing her finger along his chest as she gazed down at him.

“What troubles you, my little human?”

Thomas smiled flatly. “It’s just all these secrets we’re keeping.”

Luna nodded quietly, letting Thomas speak his mind.

“First there’s the secret about where I’m from and what I’ve seen,” he began. “I mean, I get it. National security and an existential crisis about the future and other worlds all rolled into one. I get it.”

Luna nodded again.

“Then there’s this stuff about reincarnation that we’re keeping from Silver. It’s not really my secret, and I guess I kinda understand the idea of wanting to get to know people without that baggage, but that’s exactly what it is; a whole lot of baggage.”

“And it weighs heavy on you,” Luna observed understandingly as she climbed up along his chest and nuzzled under Thomas’ chin. “You have an honest heart,” she cooed approvingly.

“I get it. At least… I’m trying to,” he admitted, silently remarking how the effect of Luna’s breasts against his body had diminished since their first time. “But… Moonlight.”

“You don’t want to lie to her,” Luna surmised.

“I just got this feeling that, with all the crap that’s been happening, and with everything that’s gonna happen, she’s probably gonna find out eventually. I don’t want her to…” he trailed off.

“Think less of you,” Luna finished. She pulled herself up to meet him eye to eye. She saw the uncertainty in his gaze, the sense of impending dread. Great trials were coming, the likes of which Equestria had not endured for more than a thousand years. Those concerns he had rightly left to the alicorns, but there was no escaping the fear that the mare he loved would be angry with him. “You want to tell her,” Luna stated matter-of-factly.

“Her and Talon,” Thomas corrected. “They’ll probably get mad at me at first, but I’d rather it be me to tell than them finding out some other way. The reincarnation stuff is your business, I guess, but I need to tell them the truth about me.”

“What of Silver?” Luna asked. “What of my future concubines and your future lovers?”

Thomas grimaced. “I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Moonlight wishes for a herd of her own. In your terms, you will be married to them the same as with her. What of them? Do you wish to share this secret with so many?”

Thomas sighed, understanding what Luna was hinting at. His origins and what he knew of the show, if it ever got out, had the potential for disastrous ramifications across the world, not to mention his personal safety if folks wanted to kidnap him. It was only common sense that the secret should be known to as few people as possible to minimize the chance of a leak. Even so… “D-do you think we can do this on a, I don’t know, a case by case basis, or something?” He asked pleadingly, hoping Luna knew of a way to ease him of his guilt.

“That seems fair,” Luna said after a short deliberation, much to Thomas’ surprise. “It is my judgement Moonlight and Talon have proven their loyalty to the crown, and thus can be trusted with your secret. However,” her voice took on a tone of seriousness, “for all others, you must first check with me. I will make the judgement on whether or not one is worthy to know this secret that could so easily destroy the harmony of Equestria. Is that acceptable?”

Thomas’ answer was to grab hold of Luna’s neck and pull her into an open mouthed kiss, wordlessly thanking her for this chance.

**********

Thomas felt himself suddenly seized by stage fright. However, gazing into the eyes of his cherished friend and kinda-sorta fiancé, he steeled his nerves to do what must be done. Luna’s look of encouragement was most appreciated.

“Moonlight. Talon. There’s… something I need to tell you.”

The mare and wren observed the tenseness of his features and nodded.

“Whatever it is, my stallion, you know you can trust me with anything,” Moonlight assured.

“You know how much I hate secrets,” Talon reminded. “But whatever it is, know that I respect you for coming forward and promise not to be mad.”

“Okay,” Thomas exhaled, readying himself as he reviewed the words he’d chosen. “Here goes. I… am not from another country.” He paused, but observed only looks of mild confusion from his audience. “I don’t know how it happened, but…” Thomas recounted the tale of his arrival in Equestria, of how a simple shopping trip was interrupted by a portal that sucked him into Princess Luna’s chambers. He told of how the Princesses determined his origins, took him in, and swore him to secrecy before giving him a job. Now was the time for shock.

“Another world?” Moonlight gasped. “How?”

“I don’t know,” Thomas confessed, bracing himself for the real kicker. “But there’s more. In my world, we have a television show called My Little Pony. It’s about a purple unicorn named Twilight Sparkle, who goes to a town called Ponyville at the order of Princess Celestia, and has all kinds of magical adventures in the land of Equestria.” He wetted his dry lips and waited for the response.

Moonlight didn’t know what to say at first. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she struggled to find the right words. “You’re an oracle? You… know the future?”

“Not precisely,” Luna answered. “The events Thomas had described to my sister and I-”

Thank you, Thomas thought as Luna redirected the attention to herself, reminding all that she was equally guilty for keeping the secret.

“-are not entirely in line with events that have transpired thus far. The reasons why can be attributed to anything from mismanaged production, to dimensional variances, or anything else in between.” Luna lectured stoically, holding onto her passengers’ knees for reassurance. “Suffice to say, upon being informed of his knowledge, Tia and I agreed that it would be best if such information were not made available to the public.”

“Obviously,” Talon spoke up for the first time since the confession began. “There are a few really good fortune tellers out there, but none of them can boast knowledge from another dimension. Chimp’d lead a much less peaceful life with all them upstarts, local and foreign, trying to kidnap him to see what he knows.”

All parties blinked in confusion at Talon’s level headed analysis.

“Tali?” Thomas asked.

“Yeah, chimp?”

“Why are you so calm?”

“Indeed,” Luna added. “I would have thought that you-”

“Were gonna blow up in everybody’s faces for being kept out of the loop?” Talon finished, causing Thomas to flinch at her accusing tone. She wasn’t wrong. That had been exactly what Thomas had expected. “I might have, if Leste hadn’t already told me this stuff.”

“WHAT!?” came the unified reply from the mares and man.

“Yeah,” Talon said with a nonchalant shrug. “She told all of us in the harem. Swore us to secrecy of course, but she told us.”

“That… blather mouth bubble butted blowhard!” Luna gasped.

“Can’t argue there.” Talon folded her arms, nodding sagely.

“When?” Luna demanded.

“Like… a week after the chimp showed up?” Talon said uncertainly. “She told us to keep it all hush-hush too. She trusts us, but she’s right that the fewer who know the secret, the better.”

“So you’ve all known,” Moonlight said, her eyes darting between the others. “You’ve all known this whole time, and no pony told me?”

“I… I’m sorry,” Thomas stammered, bracing himself for the worst. He was already imagining Moonlight storming out of the room, naked and furious about being the only one left out of the loop. Talon’s admission had really thrown a wrench into his plans.

“Why?” Moonlight asked.

Thomas stepped forward, ready to fall to his knees and debase himself in whatever way he could think of to show how sorry he was, to admit that he was an idiot and that Moonlight deserves better than him, but that he’ll do whatever she wants if it meant they could stay together. But before the words left his mouth, Moonlight elaborated.

“Why are you telling me now?” The silence the unicorn met was deafening. “What?” She seemed genuinely confused as to why the others looked so shocked.

“You’re,” Thomas nervously swallowed, “not mad?”

Moonlight made a thoughtful expression. “To be honest, I am a little upset to be the only one not in the loop.” Her soft laugh did not sound forced or uncomfortable. “But… I’m a soldier. We learn that all information is on a need-to-know basis. Even if I am trusted to be a House Guard, I understand I’m not high enough in the chain of command to have access to information as confidential as oracles, especially if it puts my stallion in harm’s way.” She smiled at the still stunned Thomas. “Which brings me back to my original question of why you’re telling me now?”

“Because I love you!” Thomas blurted. He paused briefly in embarrassment, but pushed past it as he stepped forward. “Because I love you, Moonlight Shield. I love you and it was eating me up to keep this from you.”

“It… was?” Moonlight asked. “Why?”

“Why?” Thomas repeated incredulously.

“I’m with the chimp on this one,” Talon added skeptically. “National security or not, this was still a pretty big thing he’s been keeping from you. It’s only natural to feel a little guilt.”

Moonlight’s expression hardened as she faced Thomas, stopping him in his tracks. “Thomas.”

“…yes?”

“Have you withheld any information from the Princesses that pertains to national security?”

“Absolutely not!” Thomas said resolutely.

“Have you withheld anything from me regarding my own future?”

“Absolutely not!” he said again, deciding her nonexistence in the show could wait for later.

Moonlight hopped from Luna’s lap, her hooves making a slight clop sound, and stood directly in front of Thomas, imposing upon him with her height. “Then there’s nothing to forgive,” she said adamantly as she knelt and pulled him into a hug. “You have acted as any loyal citizen should, telling the Princesses and staying silent for the safety of the nation. For that, I’m proud of you.”

With her warmth surrounding him, Thomas’ hands rose up and locked around her back. “So… you’re not mad?” He tentatively asked.

“I never said that,” Moonlight warned. “I’m grateful you’ve decided to trust me, but I’m not exactly happy with being kept out of the loop like this.” The awkward silence that followed could have been cut with a knife. “And make no mistake, you will be making it up to me later,” she said with a growl that made Thomas quite certain he’d be walking funny for a while.

Talon smirked in approval. “Always important to set ground rules early in a relationship.” Her remark earned her a sharp tail whip to the knee, which she gracefully accepted as fair recourse as Luna chuckled. “By the way, Leste didn’t go into too much detail, but she was saying some pretty weird stuff I’ve been aching to ask about.”

“Such as?” Luna asked.

“Ponies in this show are, like, tiny horses, or something?” Talon asked uncertainly.

“Yeah,” Thomas acknowledge, still held fast in Moonlight’s arms. “Why?”

“They have hooves instead of hands, but they still build buildings and have jobs. How does that work?”

Curious, Moonlight eased her grip and gave Thomas some breathing room to answer.

“Unicorns have magic, but other ponies just used their hooves and mouths for stuff.”

“Hooves and mouths?” Moonlight asked. “But hooves can’t grip. And mouths…” Her eyes widened in horror as a thought took form. “How do they change diapers?”

Thomas chuckled at the looks of disgust that befell his closest friends as he felt the tension fall around him. “Suspension of disbelief, like I explained at the zoo about Robin Hood,” Thomas reminded. “The idea is to create a story and situation that engages the audience enough that they don’t really think about the improbable stuff. If, for example, a tiny magical horse can lift a sword with just their hoof, the audience won’t think too hard about it if the situation requiring them to use a sword is interesting enough.”

“What about griffons?” Talon inquired.

“You walk on all fours, just like the ponies.”

Talon thought on this a moment. “That sounds like it’d be pretty easy to flag your tail at someone.” A grin grew across her beak. “Sounds like a fun place to visit.”

Moonlight turned on Talon in annoyance. “Is it just impossible for you to go five minutes without thinking something perverted?”

“Maybe,” Talon said with a shrug.

“Also, there’s nothing sexual that happens in the show,” Thomas interjected. “Ponies aren’t shown to have genitals and they never talk about any of the lewd stuff you guys do. It’s a show for kids, so that stuff’s just not addressed.” He grinned at the looks of befuddlement. “Ponies might be naked, but otherwise they still follow a lot of human norms. They’re even monogamous.”

“Scratch that,” Talon huffed. “I’ll stick to the Equestria where folks know how to have fun, thank you very much.”

The remainder of the evening was taken up largely with Thomas telling more stories about the human world, and even a few from MLP. Commentary and questions heavy, especially from Talon who simply could not come to terms with the differences between the two worlds. Thomas, deciding to be annoying, also told of the other generations of the show, which were not met so positively. Moonlight was told of the deal that Luna was to be the arbiter of whoever else was to be let in on the secret, to which she dutifully agreed. By that point, Luna had decided she was done fighting her urges and promptly pounced on her lovers, happy that the air had cleared between them.

**********

As the Princess and her lovers began to engage each other, a lone stallion sat at his desk in his private office and sipped a glass of wine. Firestorm was gazing into a crystal ball connected to the tracer he’d placed on Thomas back on Nightmare Night. “I wonder if they’ll up my pay for this,” he thought aloud.

**********
After easing Luna’s urges before Night Court could finally begin, Thomas and friends returned to the Princess’ chambers. Once inside, Thomas spied a small assortment of mail on the night stand and reached for the one with his name on it.

“Who’s your secret admirer?” Talon teased as she loomed over his shoulder.

“Twilight,” Thomas read. “We’ve been exchanging letters for a while now and she’s sort of been my search engine for various facts of interest.” His eyes darted to Moonlight to gauge her reaction to Talon’s teasing, finding only mild curiosity and leaving him wondering how he felt about the apparent lack of jealousy. It was nice to think that she was just that secure in her affections, but the human still felt he needed to be on guard.

“Search engine?” Moonlight asked as she huddled over Thomas’ other shoulder and peered at the unopened letter. “How does an engine search?”

“Simply,” Thomas answered flatly as he walked past the females and took a seat on the bed. His moment of semi-privacy was short lived as Talon sat behind him, crossing her legs over his middle as she laid back against the sheets. Moonlight climbed up beside Talon and began idly preening her wing. With lion paws in his lap and griffon groin against his lower back, Thomas gave an exasperated sigh, thankful that they at least weren’t reading over his shoulder, before finally opening the letter.

Dear Thomas

To continue our conversation on the difference in human and pony relationships, allow me to start by congratulating you and Moonlight for finally herding.

As for the issues you were having regarding noticing signals, it reminds me a lot of what Talon told me when I lived at the castle. Since you’re both immigrants, I hope her words will be of use. For one thing, she expressed curiosity regarding how it was almost always the mare who initiates the relationship. With griffons, as she described, there is no real rule. Whoever feels the bravest makes the first move. After that, the relationship dynamic places the initiator in the role of the lead and they go from there.

I was intrigued when you said that humans have the males taking the role of initiator and lead. This, as you have likely surmised, is the opposite of how things work in Equestria. Here, one of the mares in the herd takes on the role of lead, making major decisions on behalf of the family. This role has less meaning now than it did in the past, but it is no less vital to the stability of the herd for somepony to take responsibility as the leader.

“Anything juicy?” Talon asked, tightening the grip of her legs and pulling Thomas close in what seemed to him like a half-hearted hump. “She telling you what she does when she thinks about ya?”

“Not yet,” Thomas sighed. “It’s just boring book stuff for now, but I’m sure the juicy stuff’s coming.”

“Try bouncing a little.” Talon emphasized by pressing her groin harder against his back. “That ought to get the juices flowing.”

“Is there just some compulsion driving you to blurt out every perverted thing that comes to mind?” Moonlight asked in faux annoyance.

“What? I thought you ponies considered honesty a virtue.”

“There is such a thing as too much information, my fair feather brain,” Thomas retorted dryly, never taking his eyes off the letter. “TMI for short.”

“Oh, you both can just go suck the fattest of clits,” Talon snapped back.

“Only if you’re good.” Thomas peeked over his shoulder with a wry smile.

The females laughed lightly at Thomas’ comeback before falling into quiet chatter amongst themselves, leaving Thomas to read in peace.

Another difference worthy of note is how ponies are herd animals while griffons are pack animals. While ponies live in families of generally two to seven adults, griffons live in large clans comprised of extended families under the rule of a clan alpha and averaging at around seventy adults. Leads in herds have lost much of their tangible authority in the last few centuries. Where once a lead’s signature was necessary for other members of the herd to engage in formal contracts, now the position holds only the intrinsic authority bequeathed by the trust of the herd. In contrast, griffon alphas remain a legally recognized authority and hold considerably more sway over their clans than leads do over herds. For example, alphas get final say on whom a member of their clan is allowed to marry. Refusals to abide by the alpha’s demands are met with harsh punishments, usually carried out by the alpha or their immediate family members. In fact, marriages with other races generally end in the offending griffon’s banishment from the clan. For further details, I’d recommend asking Talon personally.

“Pretty much!” Talon said, causing Thomas to jump when he realized she was looming over him once more.

“Don’t do that!”

“What? Provide compelling commentary to make the story more interesting?”

Realizing what she meant, Thomas pressed the letter to his chest to hide it, much to Talon’s amusement.

“What are you two on about now?” Moonlight asked.

“Apparently chimp’s been asking Sparklebutt about herd stuff,” Talon commented idly. “But the little bookworm recommended he speak to me directly about the griffon side of things.”

Accepting the futility of hiding the letter, Thomas relented and gave the griffon a half smile. “Well?”

Talon shrugged. “Never all that close with any outside my immediate blood relatives. Like the letter says, a lot of alphas don’t look kindly on marrying outside our race, so I left that old fart behind to snuggle with the buns of the sun.”

“I’m sorry,” Thomas said sympathetically.

“As am I.” Moonlight grabbed Talon’s shoulder.

“I’m not, so don’t go trying to pity me or anything,” she warned. “It’s actually a perfectly normal thing when there are marriages between clans. You can’t really belong to both, so somebody’s got to make a choice, and that’s exactly what I did. Now I’ve got a new family.” She wrapped her arms around Thomas and pulled him close.

“Family?” he asked.

Talon hummed in contemplation. “It’s like… I’m Leste’s wife. Moonbutt is my wife’s sister. And since you’re sorta married to my wife’s sister, and smarty’s herded with you, that makes you part of my clan. That makes us family,” she said meaningfully.

Thomas smiled at the griffon’s explanation. “Thanks. I had a pretty big extended family growing up, but we were never all that close. It’s… nice, I guess, to have you think of me that way.”

“Happy to help,” Talon saluted. Peeking over her shoulder, she gave a half smile to Moonlight to make it clear she was included.

“I’m honored to know you view me as such.” Moonlight leaned forward and pressed her cheek to Talon’s.

“Yeah, yeah.” Talon grumbled, pushing the others away in annoyance. They rearranged to sit in a triangle on the sheets. “Don’t get all mushy on me. We were talking book stuff, remember? Chimp. Why don’t you tell us a little about the human side of things?”

“Alright. Well, for one thing it’s the reverse with humans,” Thomas explained. “With us, the guy is usually the one to initiates things. The guy is also usually the one who goes to work while his wife stays home and watches the kids. These days the wife usually works too, but if she has the choice she’ll usually stay with the kids.”

Talon frowned. “That’s… pretty different from how things work here. Males usually work, sure, but it’s also usually one of the females who tend the home.”

Thomas met their puzzled gazes and sighed in defeat. “Let’s just say that we used to have more consistent rules, but then we threw a lot of them out, and now even we’re not too sure how to deal with each other anymore.” He smiled flatly. “Look, there’s a lot of political baggage behind this and it’s not all really relevant to the here and now.”

“You come from a very strange place,” Moonlight commented. “If I’m following this right, it sounds like your culture is largely the reverse of ours, or at least you were before… Why would you throw out your own rules? I still don’t understand that.”

“For one thing, there’s a lot of contention over what parts of human behavior are biological or cultural,” Thomas answered, shifting uncomfortably as he carefully considered his next words. “There have been studies that women and men tend to be happier when the male is the more dominant one. Even if the woman has the more assertive personality, those with the more successful marriages are the ones who at least let their men feel like they call the shots.”

Moonlight’s ear twitched. She’d been intently following his every word on the nature of human relationships, eager for further insight on her stallion’s peculiar nature. This latest revelation was especially intriguing. Thomas always seemed happy to let her or Luna take the lead, so there was the possibility he may be an exception to his people’s rule, just as there were dominant stallions and submissive mares. However, if this was indeed biological as he proposed, it might serve her well to follow the lead of those successful human mares and let him take the lead from time to time.

“And like I said, there’s just all this baggage that I really don’t want to get into right now. How about we just stick to learning about Equestrian culture and I’ll point out differences if I think they’re relevant. Okay?”

“If you say so,” Moonlight said warily. It was clear she had no intent of letting this subject be dropped forever. “Where would you like to start?”

“I guess with the next step, expansion. Like 99% of humans just have two people partnerships and that’s it. What all goes into how herds and harems grow?”

“Talon,” Moonlight smiled. “Since you both have something of an outsider’s perspective, maybe you can explain it better?”

“Fair enough,” Talon agreed. “Usually the mare would start with her close friends. Apart from that, she can just make it known that she’s looking and that any interested individuals are free to come up and give courting a try,” the griffon paused. “By which I mean the new mare is usually the one courted by the herd, but the reverse is pretty common too. And like I said before, it’s usually one stallion with several mares, but it’s not impossible to come across any number of combinations. Eight mares and two stallions is a pretty popular combo. A little while before you showed up, I met this nice mare who was part of a herd where she was the only mare and had four stallions at her beck and call. Also, if humans have an equal male to female ratio, I’m guessing you don’t have studding.”

“Nope,” Thomas deadpanned.

“Well,” the griffon smirked. “Studding isn’t all that common, but it’s probably something you’ll have to deal with.”

“Why, exactly?” Thomas asked flatly.

“You want this one, smarty-corn?” Talon asked, but there was no immediate answer. “Oh, what am I saying? Of course you do.”

Moonlight mumbled something under her breath that sounded a lot like a swear, but if Talon noticed she didn’t seem to care. “You, my stallion, have unique features,” she paused as her eyes wandered appraisingly over his frame and face. “They make you look, well, exotic. A lot of ponies are into that. Not to mention your smell. With time, Equestria will become more accustomed to you, especially with your minor celebrity status. After that, I suppose I agree with Talon in that you’ll probably be the target of stud requests.” She chuckled lightly.

Thomas frowned, uncertain of both Moonlight’s implications and the way she talked about how attractive he was. “Just for clarification, what exactly is a stud?”

“I read it was much more common long ago,” Moonlight explained. “However, while the practice seems to have substantially fallen out of favor with the public, the rules have changed little. To stud is actually a very simple contract between a mare and a stallion in which the stallion gives the mare a foal during her heat, but without engaging in any courtship rituals or marriage. The contract varies from coupling to coupling, but usually bits are exchanged for the stallion’s services.” She explained pragmatically.

“The guy’s the one who gets paid?” Thomas asked to the nodding of the females. She just… said it so plainly, like guys getting paid to knock women up is just that simple. “Back home it’s usually the women who are paid to have sex with the guys. Is that why prostitutes aren’t stigmatized here, because of the studding?”

“I guess that’s part of it,” Moonlight nodded. “The stallion agrees to lay with the mare during her heat with the stated intent of conceiving a foal. A pony’s reasons to be or to seek a stud varies greatly. Some stallions enjoy being bachelors, but they are not so selfish as to deny the mares around them.”

“Selfish?” Thomas scoffed. “That’s a really… interesting way of putting it.”

“Some mares, especially filly foolers in female only herds, see no reason to wait for their perfect stallion in order to have a foal. Some choose to be mothers all on their own,” Moonlight added with a hint of disapproval. “Though that is not regarded as a favorable practice for either mother or child.”

Guess that’s just how it goes without artificial insemination.

“Sometimes there is a perfectly happy herd, but the stallion is tragically sterile. So they agree to seek aid from a stud.”

“And the stallions are alright with letting some stranger be with his wife, er, herd-mates?”

“If he is sterile, the stallion wouldn’t exactly be proud to seek outside help,” Moonlight explained somewhat morbidly. “But if he agreed to it, then he must be alright to some extent. Besides, a stud is not necessarily a stranger. That’s actually a common misconception. While there are some stallions who perform the role in a semi professional manner…”

“Nothing semi about it,” Talon interrupted with a wide grin, slapping her knee. “You probably haven’t seen any of those guys. You’d remember if you had. But they put other stallions to shame with their…”

“A’hem,” Moonlight coughed softly.

“Oh,” Talon shrunk down a little. “Sorry.”

Thomas snickered at Talon’s antics as he listened. He was getting a clearer understanding of pony jealousy, or lack thereof. Ponies were expected to be faithful in their relationships, but seemed to have all manner of socially accepted exceptions. From herds, to prostitutes, and now studding, it seemed like Equestrian society had everything it needed to keep everyone satisfyingly well-sexed. No doubt there were exceptions these two were skimming over. No society was perfect, after all. However, as each day passed, Thomas found less and less reason to argue that Equestria was the best place to live, ever.

“Anyway,” Moonlight sighed. “Besides the professionals, if the mare chooses to seek the aid of a male friend to help her conceive outside of courtship, even if the male only does it once, then the stallion in question is technically considered a stud. When it comes to herds, mares may choose to lend their stallions as a stud to other mares as a token of friendship, or perhaps for some needed bits, but again, only if he consents.”

“I don’t think I’m gonna be doing that,” Thomas asserted flatly. A pregnant pause followed as the two females stared at him very intently, apparently intrigued by the utter lack of uncertainty in his voice. An explanation was demanded. “I’m not sure how things work here, but with humans the best environment for the kids is to grow up with both parents present. I believe that, if you choose to make a kid, you ought to stick with it and make sure it gets raised right.”

“That’s a very admirable belief,” Moonlight commented as she snuggled up beside him.

“Certainly better than the half-assery you get from a lot of these so-called nobles,” Talon scoffed.

Thomas nodded. “And the harem, if I’m following this right, kinda works the same in a lot of ways. Ponies apply as attendants, and then we just decide as a group whether or not we like them, right?”

Talon smiled. “Exactly!” She kissed his cheek. “See, you’re getting it.”

“Guess I am.” He kissed back.

“Though the harem’s a lot trickier,” Talon warned. “There’s a pretty thorough screening process that weeds out a lot of the social climbers and other bad apples, not to mention all the secrecy we deal with.”

“Like with the reincarnation stuff?” Thomas asked.

“Yeah,” Talon grimaced. “That part’s kept secret even from us so it doesn’t color our perspective. Whatever we were in the past doesn’t matter as much as who we are now.”

“Told you.” Moonlight bumped shoulders with Thomas.

“Though the Senior Concubine usually knows,” Talon amended. “It’s up to them to figure out all the details that go into the application, too. They arrange meetings, make the tests, and so on to make sure everyone’s alright with each other.”

“Amber said that Sun Dancer used Steel Hoof as a mobile throne,” Thomas chimed in.

“That’s part of the tests.” Talon glared seriously down at Thomas. “You went a little too easy on sweet wings. Not saying she hasn’t earned her spot, but it’s really not supposed to be that easy.”

“It’s not like I had much of a rigorous screening process,” Thomas argued. “At least, not for the harem part.”

“Neither did I,” Moonlight added. “I never even applied, yet Luna still welcomed me into her bed.”

“Chimp welcomed you in,” Talon corrected. “Moonbutt accepted, and that’s only because you showed rigorous dedication and loyalty to both of them. You were tested, just like I was, even if you didn’t realize it.” She left Moonlight to ponder this revelation as she faced Thomas. “You’re the exception, little buddy. Frankly there’s just so much weirdness around ya that I don’t even know where to begin.” She sighed in exasperation. “Fact of the matter is, harems have worked this way for thousands of years. It’s a proven system that’s not likely to change any time soon. Learn the system, guys.”

“I will.” Thomas sat up straight and looked Talon in the eye. “I might be slow to catch on at times, but I’m learning. I’ll do whatever I have to do to help Luna.” He turned to face Moonlight with the same dedicated eyes. “You’ve been really patient with me, Moon, and I appreciate that. So if you’re willing to be open to all of my weirdness, the least I can do is open up to a few more mares in my life.” He finished with a soft smile, only to have it smothered between Moonlight’s breasts.

“I’m such a lucky mare!” she cheered as she embraced her stallion. “But don’t you worry. I’ll make sure the rest of our herd gives you all the patience and love you deserve.”

Talon propped her chin up on her palm as she contentedly watched the pair. “Sure hope the little guy’s up for it. I’m not sure how many more affectionate mares his body can handle.”

Eventually Thomas was released from his latest incarceration in boob flesh and they went back to reading the letter. Twilight described many of the matters they had just discussed, minus the parts about the harem to which she admitted ignorance. Skimming over many of the more gratuitously detailed segments, the trio reached the conclusion of the letter and settled down into comfortable positions around the bed, discussing various details regarding Thomas’ world until their next summons.

Run! Hide your children, for none can stand against the terror that is the exposition dumb.

At least, that’s what I had originally planned to say when that was the main focus of the chapter. Things changed and now we have Thomas confessing his origins to his two closest friends. I admit disappointment in Talon and Moonlight’s reactions. Originally I wanted them to be more shocked, but was unable to get anything satisfying. Usually I’d end up making them too hurt and upset and that just left me feeling bad for them. In a way, I’m kind of like Thomas in my compulsion to coddle and not hurt others, even my own fictional characters.

This is another chapter that almost wasn’t, written before Silver’s introduction to the story, so there was originally a lot more exposition and touching upon political issues that, despite my best attempts, keep cropping up in places. I know you guys don’t really care to see such things in fim fics, as they ruin the fantasy setting, so I did my best to edit most of them out.