The next evening, or rather morning from the perspective of the nocturnal weirdos in Luna’s bed, Thomas had to claw his way out of a compact pile of bodies just to escape their ruthless heat. Talon moaned when he’d accidentally grabbed her boob and pressed her beak harder into his shoulder, leaving him to wonder if her kisses were from a dream or perhaps out of muscle memory. The way Moonlight was grinding her butt against him suggested that she’d likely want some special attention once she awoke. Thomas looked to his right to find both mares intertwined with each other and, after craning his head for a better look, confirmed that Luna’s cock was still firmly enveloped by Moonlight’s pussy. Thomas let his eyes linger on the mares’ conjoined genitals.

Weird, Thomas thought ambivalently. The concept was hardly new to him. He’d been secretly wondering about it ever since Luna brought it up a while back. But seeing it now, and the night prior, though its immense size made him feel a little inadequate, the strangest part of it all was just how unbothered he felt about it. There were no testicles, and the feminine form attached to it left no doubt that he was still the only male in the bed. Maybe I’m not bothered because it’s Luna? He then imagined what Moonlight or Talon would look like with such an appendage, and found he still didn’t mind, only to grin at a new thought. Maybe I’m just becoming a perv?

“See something you like?” Luna asked, fluttering her eyelids at him.

While initially startled, Thomas relaxed upon realizing that he’d simply been caught off guard by one of Luna’s early rises, again. “Just… just trying to wrap my head around the idea that the Princess of the Night has a dick.”

Luna chuckled lazily. “Indeed. We imagine this to be quite the startling revelation.”

Thomas decided not to correct Luna’s speech just yet and focus on what was important, that thing gently churning in Moonlight’s vagina. “You said a while back that you use magic to give yourself that, right? I mean, it’s not a thing you’ve always had and just keep hidden, right?” He asked, recalling a certain popular hypothetical in some clop fics.

“Would it bother you if the answer was yes?”

“I… Huh. Good question.” Thomas considered. Picturing how it looked last night, how it dwarfed his own cock along with any other stallion’s he’d yet seen, Thomas then imagined another male, one he got along with well enough thrown into the mix. Red Amber seemed like a good option. Definitely not gay. He thought with relief at the lack of any physical reaction. And while she already said she’s not going to force me into anything like that, I guess I don’t have a problem watching. He looked back at the mare’s currently hilted stallionhood in the other mare’s marehood. “I… no. It’s still a little wei-unexpected,” he corrected quickly, “but you’re still my mare.”

“I am happy to hear that,” Luna sighed as she absentmindedly ran her fingers through Moonlight’s mane. “But you are correct. Tis merely a construct of magic; one which a certain mare seems to appreciate quite adamantly.”

“Glad to hear it,” Thomas said as he began scratching behind Moonlight’s ears and smiled when she leaned into his hand. Right now, he was just happy that she was happy.

“Hey,” Talon wined as she pulled herself up beside Thomas. “What about me?”

“Oh? You got an itch that needs scratching too?” Thomas asked playfully as he offered his hand.

Talon pouted and batted his hand away. “Just wondering why the new girl’s getting all the attention. I’ve only been here a few weeks, so where’s my ‘new girl’ attention?” Her answer came when Thomas snaked his hand behind her head and began massaging her scalp, causing her to purr like a cat.

“Never heard you purr before,” Thomas noted as he tried to coordinate his hands on both females’ heads, making sure to keep the motions just as each one seemed to like just as he once did with his old dogs. “It’s cute, like a little...”

“If you say kitten,” Talon cut him off as she leaned into his hand, “I’ll remind you of my lion heritage.”

Thomas might have been a bit groggy, but not so much that he was willing to tempt fate. “Fine. You’re purring like a sexy beast.”

“Better,” Talon said flatly as she rotated her head around for the human to start rubbing new areas.

In time, Moonlight was eventually brought back to the world of the living, scolding herself for sleeping in; to which Luna playfully apologized for having such comfortable and sleep-inducing boobies. As a newly herded mare, or rather a mare in the early stages of courting, she took to the task of relieving Thomas’ morning wood with much vigor while Luna and Talon tended to each other. Silver had the night off, allowing them to move at a more casual pace. The bathroom was more crowded than ever as the human was left feeling like the runt of the litter trying to push back the larger females for his turn. With their morning routines completed, Moonlight was pleased to find her armor had been polished and set out for her, something Luna also took credit for as she raised the moon.

“Won’t this cause problems with the other guards?” Thomas asked as he pulled his loincloth up. “I mean, won’t the others think you’re getting special treatment or something?”

“Of course she’s getting special treatment,” Talon scoffed. “The mare got to swallow the Princess’ penis last night, in two holes. Granted, they don’t know about that specifically, but I imagine they’d all agree that whatever’s going on must be pretty special.”

“I meant with promotions and stuff,” Thomas corrected. “Like, won’t they think she’s getting better treatment outside the bedroom because of what she’s doing in it?” He paused as a new thought came to him. “Ponies do get suspicious of their leaders showing favoritism, don’t they?”

Moonlight’s ears stood at attention as her body visibly tensed. Apparently this was not something she’d considered until now and was very interested to know.

“Don’t worry, chimp,” Talon waved her claw. “I knew what you were talking about, but I doubt there’ll be any issue.”

“He has a point, though,” Moonlight commented anxiously. “I don’t want any special treatment. My mother worked her way through the military through her own merits and I want to do the same. I don’t want anypony treating me any differently because of who I’m courting.” She flashed Thomas a soft smile. “So how do you know for sure this won’t happen?”

“Because you shall tell them,” Luna said casually as she used her magic to dress herself. “This night, as you escort dearest Thomas about the castle, you shall seek out friends among the guard and give them the good news that you are now herded with the Senior Concubine of Luna’s Harem. If they have any concerns, simply point out the impeccable record of Sir Captain Shining Armor.”

Moonlight’s face brightened. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Someone want to clue me in?” Thomas inquired.

As it turns out, Equestria was almost entirely a meritocracy. There was the occasional scandal involving the nobility, but the military and castle staff had an almost flawless record. None exemplified this better than Captain Shining Armor as he was universally trusted amongst the guard and even a good portion of the aristocracy. With him at the helm, the notion of the corruption Moonlight feared being accused of was almost laughable. With this in mind, after breakfast, the trio set out to their task. Thankfully, considering the relative smallness of the night guard and especially Luna’s House Guard, they didn’t have far to go.

Moonlight waved over a group of conversing naked ponies on the sparring field and quickly gave them the news, minus the parts about Celestia’s interference or Luna’s penis. There were congratulations all around without even a hint of resentment; save for the few bits that changed hands. Apparently she had been talking about the human with her friends for so long, and her feelings so obvious, that they’d opened a bet on how long until she came to terms with her feelings and decided to get serious. Needless to say, as the coins dropped into her claws, Talon couldn’t have been more pleased with herself at recouping her losses.

The blushing mare was quite cordial as she accepted the handshakes, back slaps, and suggestions on how to keep her stallion happy, but Thomas wasn’t doing nearly as well. He recognized the faces of all these ponies, but had never bothered to learn their names, save for Blade Grace who he recognized from Nightmare Night. Even when Moonlight reminded him of the times she’d talked about them, his mind was still fuzzy on the details. Not to mention the way these large, smelly, and half naked ponies were crowding around him was making him especially uncomfortable.

“You doing alright, little guy?” A red unicorn mare asked.

More questions of concern came, but while Thomas dismissed them all, assuring the others that he was fine, Moonlight was not so easily convinced. Noticing his sudden tenseness almost as soon as it began, she decided to guide him away to a quieter area, leaving Talon to keep the guards entertained.

“Sorry,” Thomas whispered as he averted his eyes.

“Don’t be,” Moonlight smiled sympathetically as she set her hand on his shoulder. “I should have been more considerate of your feelings. Even ignoring what you said yesterday about your anxieties, we’ve been together long enough for me to know what bothers you. I should have warned them not to be so forceful, but it’s alright now.”

“Is it?” Thomas asked as he slowly lifted his head to meet Moonlight’s blue eyes. “Is it really?”

Moonlight blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Is… is it really alright that you have to walk on eggshells around me?”

Moonlight just stared back at him, sensing he had more to say.

“I mean, even after hearing all that stuff last night about these stupid problems I have, problems that’ll probably never go away…” he hesitated. “And we just agreed to being herded so quickly last night,” he chuckled. “Is that normal? Do you really think you could…” but he was cut off as a pair of soft lips blocked his words.

When Moonlight pulled back and stood to her full height, she smiled down at him. “You really are a stupid colt if you think I’m petty enough to let something like that get under my fur.”

“Moonlight?”

“Everypony has problems. Just look at me. I get struck by indecision at the worst of times. You might not have seen it that much, but,” she averted her gaze, “it very well might cost me a lot of promotions in the future. I was even held back in the academy for making a few too many really dumb mistakes.”

Now it was Thomas’ turn to stay silent as he heard his mare out.

“But its fine,” she smiled contentedly. “My mom used to say that part of the fun of life was overcoming these little obstacles. Besides,” she moved to his side and swatted his rear with her tail, “I’d hardly call spending all day with my favorite human to be much of a drawback.”

Thomas beamed up at the mare and took her hand in his. “Have I told you lately that you’re awesome?”

“You could stand to say it more often, my little human,” she tittered. “However, if I fail a test because you gave me buck brain, I will hold you personally accountable,” she added sternly.

“I cannot think of a way to argue that,” Thomas declared proudly. Not to stereotype, but what kind of man would I be if I actually toned down my sexual prowess?

“You guys done yet?” One of the stallions called from over Talon’s shoulder.

Upon their return to the group, Moonlight informed the others to go easy on Thomas because of his shyness, as she so gently put it, and they gave him a much more comfortable level of space. Even so, they still tried to pry answers out of him, but most were content to direct their questions at either Moonlight or Talon. To the human’s chagrin, most of their questions seemed to be about human anatomy, particularly of a certain area below the belt.

“So how big is he, really?” The red unicorn he remembered as Quick Strike asked. Apparently genitalia were not on the list of topics one avoided when trying not to embarrass someone. “And what about a sheath?”

“I’m a little curious about the shape.” The tall and muscular Sturdy Spear added, glancing down between Thomas’ loincloth and his own commando groin.

“Does this really need to be talked about?” Thomas pleaded.

“Can’t blame a pony for being a little curious.” Quick shrugged innocently. “I mean, you’re the first human we’ve ever seen, and you always keep that part covered, almost like you’ve got something to hide.” She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

Before Thomas could reply with another whine, Talon bumped his shoulder and bobbed her eyebrows encouragingly. Thomas took the hint to try and make a better impression among his girlfriend’s friends. “Well,” he folded his arms in thoughtful contemplation. “A certain indigo mare treats it like a treasure, but I never thought about it as a national secret.”

There was an uproar as the guard ponies threw their heads back in laughter, all save the bat mare Blade Grace, who covered her mouth to stifle her amusement. Moonlight and Talon gave him approving nods as they tittered. Conversation flowed much smoother after that as they agreed to lay off such personal questions. Eyes wandered naturally from speaker to speaker, but every now and then Thomas noticed a certain light gray bat mare avert her gaze whenever he looked her way.

“So where will you guys be sleeping?” Asked a dark purple stallion named Lavender Crush. “You keeping your room in the barracks? Because I know where I’d wanna be,” he said as his eyes roamed over Thomas’ body before glancing up at the Lunar Wing of the castle.

Moonlight frowned as she considered this. “Well, since we’ve only just started courting, it might be a little too soon to think of permanent sleeping arrangements, though I suppose I should give my stallion his own bed to return to after a hard night’s work,” she said with a straight face, but that didn’t stop the others from laughing at the obvious joke.

A hard night’s work with one lover only to be followed by even more work with another. Damn. I’m not gonna get any rest anymore. That said, it is a valid question. Thomas considered before looking up at Moonlight. “I could alternate. Plus your room seems big enough for the two of us.”

“He’s got a point,” Talon offered. “Since I’m here, the little guy’s got a bit more slack to work with, not to mention Silver’s doing pretty well.”

“By slack, do you mean her breasts or her flanks?” Asked Quick. “Cause both seem pretty tight from where I stand.”

“Take your pick,” Talon shrugged nonchalantly before striking a pose, not missing a beat.

“Of course Silver is doing well,” Grace boasted. “She’s an heir to House Bell, after all.”

“I call her sweet wings,” Talon interjected. “She likes it well enough.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Grace beamed. “She made quite the impression at the Masquerade and I found her an utter delight.” She directed her attention onto Thomas. “Out of curiosity, how would you say she’s progressing in her application?”

“And here we go.” Quick rolled her eyes irately.

“What?” Grace snapped.

Moonlight knew where this was going and quickly intervened, not in the mood for these two having their usual spat over bat pony culture in front of her new coltfriend. “She’s doing well, actually.”

Grace turned to Moonlight, clearly surprised that the guard was the one to answer. “Oh? And how would you know?”

Picking up on Moonlight’s nervousness at not wanting to say, Thomas took his turn. “We were actually just talking about it yesterday,” he began, noticing the way Grace seemed to focus that much more intently when he spoke, but unable to place her exact look. “And it seems Luna’s really taken a shine to her.” I’m betting they don’t need to know the particulars about the reincarnation thing.

“What a delightful turn of events.” Grace beamed all the brighter, not noticing how Quick was readying some snarky comeback. “Although…” she trailed off, her gaze lingering questioningly on Moonlight.

“Yes?”

“I just wanted to know if you were still up for cooling me off,” Grace reminded gently.

“Naturally,” Moonlight answered without hesitation.

“Y-you mean it?” Grace asked. Her ears were perked and her tail was twitching in excitement.

“What kind of a friend would I be if I just backed out of a deal like that?” Moonlight patted the bat mare on the shoulder.

“Cool off?” Thomas asked, only to recall at the last minute. “Oh, with a cooler, right?”

“Glad to see something’s sticking,” Talon chortled.

“But what about expansion?” Sturdy stepped up, trying to steer them back on topic before Quick decided to provoke Grace any further. “I know it might seem early, but it pays to plan ahead. Those rooms are just for the new recruits. Thomas might be small, but there’s no way they’d be able to handle a proper herd. You should really consider getting a house, or at least a decent apartment.”

“Say what?” Thomas asked in a voice too low to be heard.

“I’ve been thinking about that, but I’m not sure I can afford it,” Moonlight lamented.

“There are always economy apartments,” Lavender offered.

“Or you could ask your parents to put up a down payment on a decent house,” Quick chimed in. “Your folks are pretty well off, right?”

“Maybe economy, but I’d rather not bring my parents into this,” Moonlight answered. “I want to earn my own way, rather than rely on others for everything. Besides, this is really a discussion I should be having with my stallion.” She said as she looked down to meet Thomas’ confused glare. “Well, my stallion?”

Thomas blinked as his brain worked to catch up. “Sorry to show my ignorance, but just to clarify, we’re talking about expanding your herd, right?”

“Technically it’s our herd, but yes.”

“As separate from Luna’s harem?”

Moonlight gave a light chuckle as she realized they’d encountered another cultural misunderstanding. “Sorry for not making that clear, but yes. I am hoping to have a herd of my own, which you will be a part of as you stable with Princess Luna.” She smiled affectionately. “I think you’ve got enough love to share.”

As Moonlight explained to the others about Thomas’ reluctance to engage in a herd because of human’s cultural monogamy, Talon gripped the human’s shoulder and wordlessly asked what was on his mind. “So now, instead of the like ten ponies Luna wants for her harem, I’m gonna have to satisfy like four more?”

“Three to five,” Talon corrected as she nodded solemnly. “But yes. You’re gonna have to use your human cock to satisfy roughly fifteen pussies.”

“Cock?” “Where do cats come in to this?” Some of the other guards asked.

“Human words,” Talon explained. “They call a penis a cock and the vagina a pussy.”

…

“Why?” The guards asked as one.

“I guess humans are just weird like that,” the griffon shrugged and looked over at Moonlight. “You’re herded with a weirdo.”

“Hey!” Thomas stepped up. “You don’t get to talk about her like that.” He gestured at Moonlight. “That’s my job.” He pointed a thumb at himself in pride.

Moonlight beamed and lifted Thomas into a hug. “You are just too cute,” she emphasized by following up with a prolonged kiss on his cheek. The mares and stallions all cooed as the human gave some token resistance in Moonlight’s powerful arms, but his struggles were ultimately in vain and he surrendered. He didn’t even bother to add that griffons say ‘cock’ too.

“What about a token?” Sturdy asked neutrally. “Do you practice those?”

Moonlight lowered Thomas from her face, but kept her hold around his mid-section. “I don’t think so. My parents never exchanged tokens and their herd is just fine. What about you, Thomas? Do humans have tokens?”

“Tokens? You mean like rings?”

“It’s a bit of an older custom, but some still practice it. Do humans use tokens to, well, I guess you could say it’s to claim ownership?”

Thomas chuckled. “We have rings, but they go on the finger.”

“The finger?” Moonlight asked in mild surprise. “Well, I suppose it makes sense since you don’t have horns. But why not exchanged colored stones? Earth ponies exchange stones colored to their fur, right?” she addressed Sturdy who nodded. “Like earth ponies?”

“Human’s aren’t as colorful as ponies,” Thomas deadpanned. “We’ve only got like five colors, white, black, brown, red, yellow, and they’re a lot duller than any pony’s fur, so different colored stones wouldn’t do much.” His audience seemed displeased and he couldn’t exactly blame them. “It actually gets even more disappointing from there. Trust me.”

“No offense, but the human country doesn’t sound very pleasant.” Moonlight bemoaned.

“No argument here. For one thing, our women usually have to pay a lot of money for breasts as nice as yours,” he commented, causing Moonlight to blush.

After some final well wishes, the groups went their separate ways. Talon suggested they go find the on-duty guards next, only for both she and Thomas to get the call from Luna. It was an especially long lunch break, to which Moonlight was invited to join. Conversation was pleasant, but the meal was rushed. Once the last bite had been consumed, Luna proceeded to relieve the stress she’d accumulated in the few hours since they’d last seen one another, to which Moonlight was also invited. Talon did her best not to limp afterwards.

After their duties were fulfilled, Moonlight suggested they head back to her room in the barracks to relax and double check that it was suitable for the human to stay in, should he want to.

“So how is it?” Talon asked from one of the chairs as she faced the bed, grateful to no longer be putting pressure on her legs. Moonlight had removed her armor and was lying naked on her side over the covers. She was smiling contentedly as she felt a comfortable movement against her back. Using his hand on her waist for leverage, Thomas had to poke his head up from behind her large body to see over her. He spat out a few strands of her mane that got caught in his mouth.

“At least I fit,” he remarked dryly. It was awkward when he spooned with Luna like this too, but apparently she wasn’t lying when she said that mares just really like the feel of a stallion against their backs.

“I’ll bet you do,” Talon joked as her eyebrows danced suggestively.

“He fits fine,” Moonlight sighed as she continued grinding her rear into Thomas’ groin. “Mmmh. Perfect. This is how I always imagined being with my stallion would be.”

“Really?” Thomas asked in disbelief. “You always imagined you’d be grinding your butt into a mythical creature, after getting face fucked with the long lost Princess Luna’s dick, all while being watched by a perverted griffon?”

A pause followed.

“Well anything sounds odd when you say it with that attitude,” Talon remarked.

“Fucked?” Moonlight parroted. “You said that before. Is that another human word like cock and pussy?”

Thomas chuckled as he pressed the side of his face into Moonlight’s shoulder. “It means pretty much the same thing as buck.” He smirked. “Also, it’s actually an acronym for ‘fornicate under cardinal knowledge’.”

The prolonged silence was broken by Talon. “Humans have a lot of weird customs,” she said flatly. “I mean, what exactly is your people’s obsession with comparing animals and sex?”

“Animals?” inquired Thomas. “Oh. No. A cardinal is also the name for a kind of priest.”

Talon leered at the human as she decided against asking what business priests had with what others did in bed. “Any other animal comparisons?”

Thomas snickered as he rubbed his cheek against Moonlight’s fur as he glided his hand down her side. “Ass is another word for butt.”

“We have that word too,” Moonlight said plainly.

“Really? Isn’t that kind of racist? I mean, there are donkeys in Equestria, right?”

“Of course,” Talon smirked. “Where do you think the term came from? Jackasses aren’t exactly known for their manners.”

“Huh,” Thomas nodded in contemplation. Still sounds a bit racist, but I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. “We also call a guy who’s really good in bed a stallion.”

“Well at least that one makes sehhheeense!” Moonlight whimpered as the human began tracing his finger along the outline of her cutie mark, trying to follow the same path Luna had traced earlier. She looked over her shoulder and gave her most pleading pouty face. “Why are you so mean to me?”

“Could be worse,” he shrugged as he pulled himself up to give her a quick peck on the lips. “I could, for example, not suggest you stick around the next time Luna calls me.”

“Wow, chimp,” Talon smirked. “You’ve got a bit of a dark side. That’s kind of hot.”

“Well, before this gets out of hand, can we go back to the thing we were talking about earlier?” he asked as Moonlight ceased rotating her hips against him. “About the housing, we could just alternate until we find someone, and then I’ll pitch in for someplace new when we need it.”

Surprised, Moonlight slowly sat up and folded her legs in front of her. “You’d really do that?”

Thomas gave a half smile. “Despite my best efforts, I think I’ve become a bit spoiled with where I like to sleep. I’d like wherever it is to be pretty comfortable, so I’m willing to do my part.”

“I understand that, but you’d really use your own money?” Moonlight asked cautiously.

“Why not?” He shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s just been sitting in the bank all this time anyway, so might as well. Granted I should probably check up on exactly how much I have first, but yeah. If I’m gonna live in a house with a sexy mare, might as well make sure it’s a place worth living in.”

For a second Moonlight looked like she wanted to argue further, perhaps something about doing it herself or wanting to look after her stallion. However, that look quickly faded into one of appreciation.

“Or…” Talon interjected. “And I know this’ll probably appeal to the cheapskate within ya,” Talon shot a grin at Thomas. “But you could just do the concubine thing and set up in one of the fancier guest rooms. They’re bigger than most apartments and could easily hold a decent sized herd.”

Thomas blinked in surprise at Talon. “Oh yeah!” he exclaimed as he recalled Talon’s sizable room. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

“'Cause you’re hip deep in unicorn plot,” Talon deadpanned. “Not the best position for thinking, I hear, at least most of the time.”

“Fair enough,” Thomas added before recalling the strange look Blade Grace had been giving him. She was definitely sizing him up, like the others were doing, but she seemed to have her mind on less perverted things. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that, despite her polite smile, she was judging him. I guess, with how bat ponies apparently are about Luna, it’s logical that she’d be wondering if I’m good enough for her. Ignoring the seeping feeling that she might be right to judge, Thomas cleared his mind with a quick inhale of Moonlight’s mane. Eh, whatever. I’m probably just overthinking things. And even if that is what she thinks, so what? He concluded, deciding to just keep these thoughts to himself until it looked like there’d be an issue.

Well that went smoothly enough, I think. Moonlight and Thomas are now officially courting. Questions still linger about the future, but they seem to be handling them alright so far as they accept one another. The meeting with the friends went well enough, though there might be something more with Blade Grace.