Moonlight Shield had been extra slow getting out of bed. Tonight was her night off, and as much as she enjoyed her duties and the company she kept, she still felt she needed a break from it all. Yep. Tonight was just going to be one of those lazy nights where absolutely nothing was accomplished, save her own relaxation and maybe a little shopping. Still, she did throw on her linen undershirt and trousers just in case she ran into Thomas at some point. After one last stop in front of the full body mirror to make sure she was properly groomed, she made for the door, only to be stopped by a knock from the other side.

“Who is it?”

“Blade Grace.” The mare answered from the other side. “May I come in?”

Opening the door, Moonlight blinked in surprise to find her fellow guard’s light gray fur and jet black mane shining pristinely as she stood naked in the door way. “Of course you can.” Moonlight stepped aside to allow the bat pony entry. A quiet sniff revealed her guest seemed to be wearing a lovely perfume. “Is there anything I can offer you? I’m afraid I’m out of refreshments and was just about to head for the store.”

“It’s quite alright.” Grace smiled appreciatively. “In fact, I was actually going to ask if you’d like to go shopping with me.”

“Oh?” Moonlight asked, her tone cautious.

“I know the two of us haven’t exactly gotten along,” Grace sighed in remorse. “But I figured, since we’re both House Guard, we could use a little… you know… team building exercise.” She gestured ambiguously with her fist and forced a smile.

“Team building?” Moonlight eyed the bat mare skeptically, noting all the little touches taken to make herself look nice and presentable. “And the perfume?”

“What? Oh that!” Grace laughed uneasily. “Well I noticed I was about out of this one bottle, so I decided to just finish it off. I mean, maybe it’ll help me haggle the prices down from some cute filly, or something.”

“Uh huh.” Moonlight nodded, her tone betraying how unconvinced she was while Grace beamed nervously. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt,” she shrugged.

“Great!” Grace blurted. “I mean… that would be lovely. Thank you.”

“Just as friends.” Moonlight held out her hand to slow the bat pony’s excitement. “Let’s just hang out as friends and see how well that goes.”

“That still sounds like a ‘yes’ to me,” Grace retorted with an eager grin.

“Fair enough.” Moonlight quickly retrieved her bit bag and tied it around her waist as she followed her friend out on their not-date.

**********

“You’re sure this won’t be traced back to me?” Starry Sky nervously asked the stallion across the desk as her eyes roamed around the bookstore’s back office. “And why are we here, anyway?”

“There’s no need to worry, Miss Sky,” Firestorm assured. “I’d make for a very poor journalist if I didn’t keep my sources secret when they asked. That’s actually why we’re here.” The unicorn gestured around the room with his only arm while holding his pen and notepad in his magic. “My family owns this store, so I can assure you no pony will bother us here.” He smiled warmly. “Now, why don’t you tell me a little about yourself?”

“Oh, well, my name is Starry Sky. I’m a pegasus.” She ruffled her wings for emphasis. “And until recently, I was applying to be a concubine to Princess Luna. But now I…” she trailed off. “I’m an assistant masseuse at one of the local clinics.” She slumped in her chair. “Not even one of the good ones.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Firestorm nodded, the only other sound in the room that of his pen scribbling away in his magical grip. “What makes you think you were dismissed?”

Sky twiddled her fingers and looked away. “Luna… the Princess said we didn’t satisfy her.”

A folder encased in Firestorm’s cobalt blue aura rose from the desk and opened for him to read. “From what my sources suggest, you were performing quite adequately. Always on time, obeyed every order, and maintained a positive attitude.” The folder closed and he looked back up at the mare. “In what way do you think the Princess was dissatisfied with your service?”

Sky pressed her lips out in a pout as her eyes absentmindedly roamed across a nearby shelf. “I don’t want to say anything mean, but…”

“But?”

“I think it was that Thomas’ fault.”

“Thomas?” Firestorm asked. “The hay-mane currently serving as Luna’s Senior Concubine?”

“It’s actually ‘human’, but that’s the one,” Sky corrected gently. “Me and the others, Chain and Stone, we’d been her attendants for over three months. I thought we were doing well. I mean, we were joking, and laughing, and I thought the Princess was enjoying herself too. Then…” she grimaced as her ears drooped. “Then he came along and suddenly we were like second bananas.”

“Would you mind expanding on that?”

“It started out as little things. They’d stare at each other, she’d leave her hand on him for long periods of time… Then suddenly we’re dismissed while he got to spend the day in her bed!” Sky’s quiet demeanor rapidly became a full on rant. “I mean, what makes him so special, anyway?”

“Near as I can tell, he’s the only one of his kind in all Equestria,” Firestorm offered politely. “That could be something. Maybe he was just Luna’s type?”

“Maybe,” Sky relented. “And… maybe we might have kinda sorta, ya know, not really included him when the Princess wasn’t looking.”

“You excluded him?”

“That’s a really strong word!” Sky protested. “And it wasn’t like he really showed any signs that he was disappointed or anything.”

Firestorm nodded, maintaining an even expression. “The way I hear it, Mr. Thomas, or rather Sir Thomas…” He paused to gauge her reaction, but saw nothing from Sky. Sighing to himself, he continued, “Sir Thomas has been having issues adjusting to pony society and even reading pony body language. Did you consider that the reverse might be true and that you might have missed non-verbal cues he was sending?”

Sky slumped even more in her seat. “Nooooo,” she admitted with a drawn out whine. She was pouting like a foal, making Firestorm feel like a lecturing parent.

“Is there anything else about him that you can tell me?” He paused, but she looked confused by his question. “Any physical attributes of note, odd habits, or anything else that might have seemed unusual?”

“Well he was always super timid,” Sky recalled. “Even by stallion standards he seemed super shy and meek. I mean, sometimes he’d laugh with us, but he almost never, ya know, initiated anything except with the Princess.”

“Have you ever heard the old fairy tales of humans before?”

“A little,” Sky said with an uncertain.

“I’ve done a little research on the matter,” Firestorm stated. “Frankly tales range all over the map regarding their behaviors, but most tend to lean more on the aggressive side. Do you think this might have had any influence on your opinion on this human?”

“I don’t know… maybe?” Sky averted her eyes. “It’s really weird the way he eats meat and all, and Chain said we shouldn’t associate with those types.”

Chain? Firestorm’s face remained neutral while his pen continued it’s work.

“Honestly, I just kinda saw him as one of those talking animals, like a chimera, and that he was just the Princess’ pet. I don’t think any of us ever really thought he’d, ya know, get the job.”

**********

“I’m sorry, but I just have to ask.” Grace frowned as she gestured at Moonlight in their shared cab. “Why are you wearing your linens?”

“These?” Moonlight looked down. “I guess it was getting a little cold out and I didn’t really see the point in putting on anything else.”

Grace blinked in disbelief. “But… that?” She gestured at Moonlight’s blouse. “It’s not exactly very flattering to your figure.”

Now it was Moonlight’s turn to blink in disbelief.

“That is, well, you have a very lovely figure, and it just seems a shame to wear something so… uncomplimentary.” Grace quickly averted her gaze to the window. “Honestly, you’d look a lot prettier in either royal armor or in nothing at all.”

Moonlight felt her cheeks turn warm as she took note of the way Grace’s wings and tail were fidgeting anxiously. “Grace?”

“Yes?” Grace replied, still avoiding the other mare’s gaze.

“Why did you really ask me to go out like this?”

Grace let out a long sigh of defeat. “Things… haven’t been going so well with Sturdy and Quick. We’re still friends, but it feels like the spark’s gone, ya know?” She grimaced, bracing herself for the next part as she finally met the unicorn’s eyes. “And then I… I got it in my head that you’re a really pretty mare and that you’re single, so I thought maybe I could take you out for a nice night so we could, ya know, get to know each other better.” She explained all in one breath, only daring to breathe once she’d reached the conclusion.

“Oh?” Moonlight puckered her lips into a surprised O, staring blankly at the other mare. After a confession like that, and seeing the bat pony stare at her and impatiently wait for her answer, there was only one valid response. “You… think I’m pretty?”

Grace’s face dawned with cautious optimism. “I’ve, well, always liked your eyes. They really stand out against the warm colors of your fur and mane.”

“If I’m being completely honest,” Moonlight chuckled nervously. “I really like your black mane. It’s a pretty rare color and, ya know, also has the whole contrast thing.” Moonlight chuckled again at how poorly she’d worded her reply, which spread to Grace until they shared in a hearty laugh.

**********

“Miss Chain, please.” Firestorm gestured at his guest to calm her down as he sat up from his desk. Midnight Chain had only come into the office a few minutes ago and already he was losing control of the angry mare. “I’m just here to get the facts.”

“The facts, huh?” Midnight Chain spat. “Like the fact that that scrawny foreigner managed to weasel his way into the Princess’ bed, after breaking into her room no less, and then he-”

“Please!” Firestorm not-quite shouted. When it seemed the mare’s tirade was finished, he retrieved his pen and notepad with his magic and reclined in his chair. “Now. From the beginning, when did you first start to suspect that this… hor-maren had malicious intent?” He contorted his mouth around the strange word,

“It’s ‘human’, actually.” Chain corrected snidely. “What makes you think you can take him down if you can’t even get his species right?”

“Madam, the Canterlot Canter is not about ‘taking anypony down’; we’re not the guards after all. I’m just a journalist trying to get the scoop on the newcomer who’s managed to evade the press for far too long.” Firestorm explained, masking his pride in the aforementioned accomplishment in ensuring that evasion. “And if the truth should happen to result in certain someponies going under investigation, well…” he trailed off, letting her fill in the blanks.

“I see.” Chain nodded. “Well, I knew he was trouble from the start. We, the whole of the castle staff, were under strict orders to keep his very existence a secret for the longest time. How is that not sketchy?”

“But didn’t those orders come from the Princesses?” Firestorm asked.

“That’s what makes this so scary,” Chain hissed, leaning closer. “Supposedly he doesn’t have any magic, yet he still managed to trick his way into the Princess’ service and bed in no time flat.”

“Interesting.” Firestorm nodded as the levitating pen and pad went to work taking notes. “I do believe I’ve heard that he has no magic. Very strange.”

“I still can’t believe it.” Chain shook her head. “I mean, even rocks hold trace amounts of magical energy. Just how far is his homeland that everything in it has no magic at all?”

This line of questioning was getting a little too close for comfort by Firestorm’s measure. “What makes you so sure this Mr. Termas managed to slip into Luna’s bed through, let’s say… less than honest means?”

“What?”

“What I mean is, how do you know she just doesn’t have a thing for furless apes the size of foals? Trust me when I say I’ve seen stranger fetishes.” Firestorm offered a wry smile.

“Even if that were true, which it isn’t,” Chain growled. “That doesn’t explain how he managed to get me and the other attendants kicked out like that.”

“And how do you know he was responsible for this?”

“Psh,” Chain scoffed and crossed her arms indignantly. “Because he knew we were onto him.”

“Onto him?”

“Well, I was, anyway.” Chain rolled her eyes. She glanced at the notepad to make sure it was still writing. “The others, Sky and Stone. They agreed with me that there was something off about the little monkey, but we all agreed to keep it to ourselves until we had evidence. You have no idea how hard it was to put on a smile and pretend everything was alright with that… thing strutting around the castle like he owned the place.”

“I can imagine.” Firestorm grimaced. He could sympathize with forcing yourself to be around somepony you found detestable just to get the dirt on them. “Where have you been working since your dismissal?”

“I work as a bartender at a place on Fifth Avenue that primarily serves guards,” the unicorn sneered. “It was my old job before the Princess showed up and I saw a chance to finally do my family proud.”

“I see.” Firestorm nodded as the wheels of his mind began to turn. In his line of work, bartenders were very valuable sources of information, being so close to drunken ponies with loose lips. However, this also meant they were close to ponies who, being grateful for the drinks, might be more open to suggestion. This could be trouble.

“They were good enough to take me back, and I’m grateful for that, but I was meant to be so much more, ya know? I was supposed to have the honor of serving a Princess in one of the most coveted positions in the land. And all that went to manure thanks to that short, sniveling, worthless little human.” She was grinding her teeth by the end.

**********

Moonlight and Grace had exited their cab a while back and even took to holding hands as they walked down the street towards the general market.

“What’s the matter?” Grace asked.

“What you said about my clothes.” Moonlight’s ears swiveled around anxiously. “I’m starting to think you might have had a point.”

“Then why don’t you just take them off?”

“I can’t do that on the street!” Moonlight hissed at the mare for suggesting something so ludicrous. Ponies might normally go around nude, but it was still considered indecent to just strip down in the open like that. Everypony would think she didn’t have proper manners.

“Sorry,” Grace apologized flatly, instantly realizing her mistake. She surveyed the road ahead. “Come on.” The bat pony grabbed the unicorn’s wrist and lead the way toward a nearby clothing store. “You know, I was just thinking you could do with an addition to your wardrobe.” She winked with a grin.

Beaming as they stood outside the store, Moonlight gratefully seized Grace in a warm hug, not minding how their breasts pressed together, before releasing her with a grateful nod. The mares shopped around for a few minutes, but didn’t find anything they’d be willing to purchase. That didn’t stop them from trying on a few outfits and then asking for a bag to carry out Moonlight’s unfashionable underclothes. On the plus side, the loss of layers forced the unicorn to press into the bat pony’s side for warmth. From there it was a straight shot to the general market for groceries as the mares continued to chat the night away.

**********

“I’m sorry, Miss Stone. Could you repeat that?” Firestorm asked.

“Must I spell it out for you?” Lunar Stone snapped, yet managed to maintain her composure. “That thing is a disrespectful menace and a disaster just waiting to happen.”

“Ah.” Firestorm nodded, careful to keep from laughing or showing any other emotions. “Would you care to-”

“First of all, he isn’t even a pony.” Stone sneered, cutting Firestorm off. “And if that weren’t bad enough, he’s a stallion serving as Senior Concubine. Who the hay does he think he is just waltzing over tradition like that?”

If nothing else, let it not be said that Lunar Stone doesn’t speak her mind. “My records might be a bit spotty,” Firestorm said apologetically as he magically retrieved a folder from his desk. “However, I do believe there has been precedent for this sort of-”

“He’s not even a stallion.” Stone seethed. “I don’t even know what you’d call a male of his species, and yet the Princess, in her infinite wisdom,” she bobbed her head as her voice took on a mocking nasally tone, “decided to let him into her bed, assuming it even is a ‘him’.”

“Well,” Firestorm shrugged. “There is a bulge in his uniform. So I think it’s safe to say-”

“A small one.” Stone stressed. “Very small. I’ve seen him with and without that little napkin and trust me when I say it’s nothing worth bragging about. Frankly, any colt feeling insecure about their size should be notified of his existence as soon as possible. What’s more, the little pervert would actually become aroused just from watching us walk around when he first arrived. I swear, we did absolutely nothing to garner that kind of attention, yet he reacted all the same.”

Firestorm lowered his hand beneath the desk so the mare wouldn’t see him clench his fist in frustration. And I thought the last one was bad. At least she let me finish. And besides paranoia, she also managed to avoid such cheap shots like mocking a male’s penis size like it was something that actually mattered. “From what I understand, he comes from a culture where they wear clothing all the time, save only for bathing and intimacy.”

“Psh.” Stone rolled her eyes. “And where’d you hear that from? Him?”

“Various sources who, like you, also wish to remain anonymous.” Firestorm answered, his tone rigid with a hint of warning. Stone blinked in surprise, but the shift in her posture suggested she got the hint and would try to be more cordial.

“Well, I was only saying that you really can’t trust anything he says about this supposed human country.”

“You don’t think there’s a human country?”

“I don’t know what to think.” Stone admitted. “What I do know is that, since we have no other frame of reference, he could just be making things up to excuse his deviant behavior.”

“I’ll admit that that’s certainly possible.” Firestorm nodded as he turned back to the folder. “However, the accounts I’ve heard seem to be fairly consistent. You’d think if he were lying that there’d be more contradictions.”

“Unless he was a good liar.” Stone suggested.

“True.” Firestorm nodded. “But at this point, do you have anything other than speculation?” You haven’t even mentioned how you performed on the job. You just started with blaming the new guy without taking any personal responsibility, dumb bitch. Huh… ‘Bitch’. Firestorm had heard Thomas mention the word a few times. Assuming that he was using the right context, the word seemed fitting.

“No,” Stone grumbled. “We did what we could to look on our own, but the little creep was practically glued to Luna’s hip so we couldn’t find anything.”

“A shame.” Firestorm sighed. “Despite popular opinion, facts sell a lot better than gossip. But onto the matter at hand, what can you tell me about your own performance in service to the Princess?”

“What’s to tell?” Stone shrugged. “The others and I were perfect models of cordial behavior, even with that animal eyeing us up. We did just as Lady Sun Dancer advised with respectful familiarity, smiling often, and getting to know each other as though we were forming a herd. Yet despite that, even she abandoned us after that human got to her.”

Firestorm sighed. “I suppose you only have speculation about this as well?”

“I don’t have pegasi hearing, but I did spot them talking quite a bit towards the end. Lady Dancer seemed very intrigued by what he had to say.”

“I see,” Firestorm acknowledged as he glanced at his note pad. It was tempting to simply write the word ‘paranoid’ over and over again. Boss is gonna love this, he thought sardonically of his superior’s face at seeing his report.

**********

“So I’ve noticed the night guard has been swelling with new recruits these last few weeks,” Moonlight commented as she and her friend sat at one of the outdoor diners and enjoyed their morning coffee. “I can just imagine how happy this must make the Princess.”

“Oh, thanks for reminding me.” Grace set her cup down. “On that note, I heard a rumor that they’re going to be cutting down our hours so they can transition us to a three shift system.”

“Three?” Moonlight echoed. “How’s that going to work?”

“That’s actually how Celestia’s day guard has been operating all this time.”

“I know that,” Moonlight retorted, mildly annoyed. “I’m just wondering how that’ll work with the night guard as a whole separate division.”

“All military operations answer to Captain Shining Armor,” Grace began. “So his staff’s working on a new rotation where the bulk of the night guard works the evenings, there’s more of an even mix with the day guard in the dawn hours, and then there’s a token night presence during the day shift. Flip that for the day guards and you should hopefully get the idea from these.”

“Seems to make enough sense.” Moonlight chuckled. “And I can certainly see them doing that to help build comradery between the divisions and help day ponies get better used to the night guard. However, I get the feeling that’s only the lead-in to something else.”

“Can’t get anything past you.” Graced laughed in good natured teasing. “The thing is, some of us in the House Guard were asked to, well…” She trailed off nervously.

“Asked to?” Moonlight echoed.

“Share in your duties?” Grace asked apologetically as she braced herself for the inevitable explosion of anger at having her competency questioned like this. Instead, Grace was thoroughly surprised when the unicorn only gave an exasperated sigh.

“I should’ve known this was coming.”

“What?”

“I enjoy looking out for Thomas. I really do.” She chuckled to herself. “But even I think we could use little breaks from each other from time to time.”

Grace released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

“Not to mention the whole thing makes more sense from a strategic point of view,” Moonlight continued. “In the event of danger, you want your guard to be in peak physical condition. So it’s only logical to portion out some more relaxation time.”

“I’m so happy to hear you say that,” Grace cheered.

“Why? Because you volunteered?”

“Oh,” Grace smiled guiltily. “I suppose you saw that one coming.”

“Like a stampeding ursa.” Moonlight smiled warmly. “Is that what this date was for, so you could get my permission to guard Thomas in my absence?”

“Well…” Grace averted her gaze, meaning she didn’t see Moonlight reach across the table and grab her hand, holding it with tight affection.

“You’re one of the best hand-to-hand combatants in our class.” Moonlight beamed. “Blade Grace, I know that I can trust you to keep Thomas safe and well in my absence.”

“That means so much. Thank you.” Grace twisted her hand until she was able to grasp Moonlight’s palm in hers. “It would be an honor, to both help out a friend and to service the Princess in this manner.”

“I’m sure it is.”

“That said…” Grace once more took on an apologetic expression. “I was wondering if I might ask you a little favor.”

“The way you phrase it makes me nervous,” Moonlight admitted. “But what is it?”

“Well, first of all, I was wondering what you thought of all… this,” Grace waved her hand in a general all-encompassing gesture.

“This?”

“Our, you know, not-date?”

Moonlight smiled warmly. “I had fun.”

Grace’s ears perked up optimistically. “You did?”

“We didn’t do all that much, but I had a lot of fun just hanging out with you.” Moonlight playfully batted at Grace’s leg with her tail, causing the bat pony to blush at the affectionate gesture.

“In that case, the favor I wanted to ask was could,” *Gulp* “help me out during my next heat.” She paused, bracing herself for rejection.

“Sure,” Moonlight said without a moment’s hesitation.

“Y-you mean it?” Grace asked with an ever growing smile.

“Well, Tali already agreed to help me out for my heat week, but I’m sure we could work you in too.” She chuckled casually. “I mean, what are friends for if they can’t cool each other off every now and then, you know?”

“I’d like that.” Grace beamed. “I’d like that a lot. Thank you.”

**********

Firestorm let out a sigh of relief as the last mare closed the door behind her, leaving him alone in the office. Between the inept, the paranoid, and the hardline traditionalist, he hoped to never have to deal with those three ever again. And if the letter he was writing did its job, he’d get his wish. However, there was still one last matter to take care of before starting the letter. Reaching into his pocket, the stallion pulled out a compact mirror and flipped it open. After lighting his horn, the image in the mirror changed from a reflection of his handsome mug to a view of the hall just outside his door where his three interviewees remained.

“Do you really think there’s anything he can do?” Chain asked as she paced in front of the chairs where the others sat.

“He said he’s just a journalist,” Sky answered timidly. “But he probably could get ponies to start asking questions.”

“It’s a first step if nothing else,” Stone added, tightening her fists. “That is, if that’s what he’s really after.”

“What do you mean?” Chain asked as she stopped in front of the earth mare. “You think he’s got some ulterior motive to putting that animal away and protecting the Princesses?”

“You know what’s going on.” Stone gestured to Chain and then to herself. “And I know what’s going on, but no pony else seems to believe us.”

“Maybe we should go over everything we just told him?” Chain offered. “You know, and conduct our own investigation.”

Firestorm rolled his eyes as he watched the image on his mirror. It annoyed him how when he pulled the journalist routine his interviewees always seemed to think they were super sleuths afterwards.

“Didn’t you say you’re working at that guard bar again?” Stone asked as her expression brightened. “Maybe you could use that to gather a bit more intel?”

“Oh no,” Firestorm grumbled as he slumped in his chair. He was not pleased by the prospect of calling for additional help to watch these ponies.

Despite the stallion’s hopes, the former attendants seemed bent on making his life harder by carrying on their own investigation as they agreed on a meeting time. And while there was the possibility of them stumbling across other conspirators with similar goals, chances were dim. Firestorm was not looking forward to being a part of a team again. He worked better on his own.

“Oh well,” he sighed as he watched the three depart. He closed the compact and stored it back in his pocket before scanning the book shelf for something to take his mind off things after writing his report. Eventually he settled on Seven Stallions since he’d been meaning to reread that one after hearing Moonlight and Talon talk about it.

Well that was an interesting trip. Another Thomas-light story, since those have been unusually popular, as we see the return of Luna’s former attendants and how they really haven’t been taking rejection too well. Meanwhile, things are going much more smoothly with Grace and Moonlight as they had a nice time together, as friends, and will later use a special dildo called a cooler to rut each other silly in order to get through their heat, as friends, because apparently that’s just the sort of courtesy mares show to one another in a world where males are in short supply.