Overall, very little had changed between Thomas and Talon. He pushed back a little more when she pushed him aside for space in the bathroom. She swore a little more when they were in private. It still felt a little weird for either of them to say “I love you,” but a quick peck on the cheek seemed to work just as well. The daily routine had begun in earnest with family breakfast and cooking lessons; which had been slowly gaining a lot of popularity around the castle as a noticeable number of staff found excuses to walk past the kitchens for a chance at a glimpse inside. The group then went their separate ways with Luna heading for the throne room and Thomas and company heading for the gym.

Thomas had been working up quite a sweat on the weights, especially after Talon threatened to sit on him if he didn’t meet her required reps. The novelty of the foreigner’s presence had largely worn off and many of the other ponies present welcomed him warmly, though the ways their eyes wandered left him wondering exactly how warmly. Thankfully Moonlight was there to ward off any who stared too long. All the while they chatted away about the normal stuff you’d expect at a gym.

“And these… com-puu-ters,” Talon sounded out as she watched the human swing his practice sword, “don’t run on any magic?”

“That’s right,” Thomas panted as he took a step back on the training mat. The practice sword was heavy, a lot heavier than the bokken, but he didn’t complain. He knew this was all part of the training to make him stronger. It helped to picture himself as the player character in a video game and this was all just a part of the grinding needed to level up “Hah!” He huffed as he lunged forward.

“But they still let you look up whatever you want whenever you want it?”

“More or less,” Thomas nodded, taking another swing.

“And you can find porn on this net?” Talon asked eagerly.

Thomas counted off the last of his hundred swings and let his sword arm fall limp to his side. Panting, he smiled back at his buck buddy. “I don’t know the exact numbers, but I think at least 30% of the internet’s content is made of porn material.” He explained as they went to put away the practice sword.

Talon was too slack jawed to speak, so Moonlight took her turn. “And this includes instructions on what you two did while I was gone?” *Gulp* “The ankle thing?”

Thomas blushed with embarrassment at having Moonlight bring it up in such a private place. It had been bad enough last night when Talon just blurted it out to the mare the instant she walked back in the room. She just kept gushing on about how it made her felt to try such a new and exciting position, all the while seeming to pretend like Thomas wasn’t even there. Thankfully, with Luna’s encouragement to spare him the embarrassment and assurances that her sister already knew and just hadn’t gotten around to trying these positions out yet, the griffon kept her beak shut at breakfast.

“Chimp,” Talon called warningly. “What else did this net teach you?”

“I… um…” Thomas stuttered. “It was just kind of a spur of the moment thing.” He chuckled meekly. “It’s not like I planned it or-” He was cut off by the griffon placing a finger over his lips.

“That’s not what I asked,” she said with gentle sternness, pulling her claw back. “I want to know what else this net taught you about exotic sexual positions.”

“D-do we really have to talk about this here?” Thomas whined. “Ponies are listening.” He glanced over to a stallion who’d been glaring at them curiously for some time. Others were more discrete, having only turned an ear their direction while pretending to have their focus on their respective workouts.

“I bet they are.” Talon agreed as she casually looked around at all the ponies in earshot. Not one looked away in embarrassment at having been caught eavesdropping. “It’s not every day you find out the mysterious stranger from another land brought with him a whole host of exotic techniques that are virtually unheard of in these parts.” She added that last part with a knowing smirk.

“Would you stop that!?” Thomas said with a forced whisper. “You’re embarrassing me.”

Talon tilted her head in confusion. “Embarrass? Is this that silly human modesty thing again?”

“It’s not silly.” Moonlight said, stomping her hoof down lightly. “It’s one of his people’s traditions. As a foreigner yourself, I would have thought at least you would-”

“Fine. Fine.” Talon waved her claw in annoyance. “We won’t talk about it here, but we are going to have a talk. Got it?”

Thomas gave a relenting sigh. “I suppose that’s fair.”

“You bet your tiny plot it is.” Talon nodded firmly. “Now hurry up. We’ve got three more machines to get through before we gotta shower off. Moonbutt’s break’s in just a little bit.”

As the prophecy foretold, so it came to pass that Thomas and Talon were called to Luna’s aid the instant they exited the shower. Even dry, Thomas rubbed his arms at the increasing chill of the autumn air. However, the Princess of the Night, upon smelling their residual sweat, informed them that it turned her on and that they should save the shower until after their real workout. At Talon’s urging, Luna cast a memory retrieval spell on Thomas and they tried out one of the positions he’d seen online. When it was over, much to his chagrin, Talon immediately told Moonlight everything.

“It’s called the eagle,” Talon informed eagerly, but at a whisper as they walked down the castle corridors. It was hard to tell whether she was still coming down from her orgasmic high, or if she was just tickled by the name. “What you do is the guy lays the mare down on her back, holding her legs up and out while he enters.” She explained with giddy excitement. “I know it might not sound that complex, but when he enters, boy does the mare let you know.”

Moonlight was torn. On the one hand, it was grossly inappropriate to talk about the Princess’ sex life, even if she wasn’t being mentioned by name. On the other, because the name wasn’t mentioned, it technically wasn’t breaking the rules and Moonlight really wanted to know why this hypothetical male of nondescript race was doing with this hypothetical mare of nondescript tribe.

Still embarrassed, Thomas thought back to Luna’s earlier explanation that ponies were more open about intercourse, and concluded that this was just another thing he’d have to get used to. “So… you really don’t know any of these positions?” It seemed a reasonable question. “I mean, if ponies are so open about sex, surely you’d have been free to experiment with all kinds of kinky positions that would put the human ones to shame, right?”

“I…” Moonlight gulped before continuing. “I think this might be human imagination again.” She offered humbly. “Sex is just,” she paused to find the right words, “just a normal part of life. It is what it is and I guess no pony ever put much thought into making it anything more.”

Thomas considered Moonlight’s words thoughtfully. “Equestria’s been ruled pretty stably by the Princesses for some thousands of years now, right?” They nodded. “But human empires keep rising and falling almost all the time. Maybe that constant change made us evolve to be more creative and adaptable?”

“That might make sense.” Talon nodded. “Maybe if… wait. Empires?”

Thomas froze, realizing what he’d just let slip.

“So human tribes have united like the ponies have?”

Thomas let out a short exhale of relief. “Not even close.” He shook his head in honest shame at yet another area where ponies seemed to have humans beat. “Our ‘tribes’ have never fully gotten along. Allies can become enemies almost overnight. The people have made honest tries at getting along, live and let live and all that. And while there are a lot of legitimate grievances, most of its just that the ruling classes keep contriving conflict and pitting us against each other.”

“Why haven’t you overthrown that system yet?” Moonlight asked with mild disgust.

“We do, like all the time.” Thomas explained. “My country was formed because we didn’t like the way we didn’t have a say in how we were taxed, so we had a revolution and formed a whole separate government.”

Talon blinked curiously. “So… how many human countries are there?”

This is getting way too close to home, literally. “More than a hundred, the last time I checked.” Thomas warily looked between his friends, worried they’d keep pressing until he had no choice but to reveal the truth. It felt terrible to lie to them like this, but the Princesses wouldn’t have told him to do so unless there was a good reason.

He’s nervous. Talon thought. A quick glance at Moonlight showed the mare had picked up on it as well. He’s hiding something, something about his homeland that he’s afraid to tell us. “Whatever,” Talon shrugged. “This political stuff is boring me. Personally I want to hear more about the fun things you humans come up with.” She smiled at Moonlight and then at Thomas. Leste told me not to press you on this stuff, so I won’t. I don’t like keeping secrets like this, but then I’m not really one to judge at the moment. She reflected shamefully. We’ll tell each other when we’re ready. I only hope we can forgive each other when that time comes.

So they continued on, taking Talon’s advice and focusing on the fun things humans had come up with. Neither lady really understood the obsession with kittens, but they were very tickled when Thomas started singing ‘The Internet is for Porn’. Talon continued leading the way until they arrived at the royal library. The others followed her in, sitting at one of the corner tables at her direction while she went off and returned with a small hardcover book. The cover read ‘A Guide to the Processes of Intercourse: Volume Eight’ by The Canterlot Institute of Science.

“This here,” Talon began as she set the book on the table between them, “is basically the sum total of what your average pony knows about sex.” She opened the book and began flipping through the pages. “The first few chapters are all about proper mounting technique, what ponies consider attractive, yada yada. You should probably read it some time, but let’s… get… to… here!” She dropped the book back on the table and pointed at the title. ‘Part 7: Alternative Sexual Positions’. “Check these out.”

Glancing at Moonlight to find the mare had no obvious signs of trepidation; Thomas did as directed as he flipped through the book. The beginning of each section had a picture that took up half the page illustrating ponies in a new position, followed by the title of the position, and a page and a half of describing how the position worked and what it was capable of. Focusing mostly on the pictures, it was by the fourth section that Thomas began to see what Talon had been alluding to. They were all pictures of ponies doing it doggy style, what they called ‘basic mounting’, where the only difference was the angle of the stallion’s back while he mounted the mare or other stallion. And so it went with the remaining fifty four sections. There were a few classics like the 69 position, but that included the line that it was generally only done between lovers of the same sex. Some showed a little creativity with the centipede of stallions in a line up, but that was the end of depictions of anything more than a twosome. In fact, pretty much all the rest was just variations of a male taking his partner from behind and then breaking that up into subdivisions as if just to make filler, with only occasional suggestions for ways a third party could help out. Second to last was called dolphin style, and though it was just plain old missionary, it was actually described as among the most erotic for the unique way it allowed partners to gaze into each other’s faces. The final section informed that the art of intercourse was an ever-evolving science and that these positions had been accumulated over the course of generations and that it was unlikely there’d be many more options any time soon.

“Huh,” Thomas huffed unremarkably.

Even Moonlight was unimpressed with this list as it included none of the things she and her freiends had discussed. “Hold on a sec. When was this written?” She reached across and, using her thumb to hold the page, checked the publication date. “That’s almost fifty years ago!” She exclaimed, only to be hushed by a nearby librarian shelving some books. “Excuse me.” Moonlight addressed the librarian with a more appropriate volume. “But do you have any more up-to-date copies?” She held up the book for emphasis.

The librarian adjusted her glasses and inspected the book. “I’m afraid that’s the latest copy out there,” she informed neutrally. “Why do you ask?”

“It just seems like they’ve left out a lot in the sexual positions category.” Moonlight explained thoughtfully, but with a bit of pride at apparently knowing more than the book’s author. “What about the stallion turning his penis around, or a mare sitting in her stallion’s lap while she mounts him?”

It’s like she’s explaining how her menu was misspelled. Thomas analyzed.

“Mares can’t mount stallions.” The librarian said with a dismissive smile. “What a silly notion.” And she departed, leaving all three with a deeper understanding on the nature of intercourse in Equestria.

“Smarty.” Talon said in a way that meant business. “Did you bring a copy of your book with you tonight?”

“I actually left it at my desk last night. Why?”

“Good.” Talon smiled slyly, tapping the tips of her claws together in a way reminiscent of Mr. Burns. “Because when we get back there, the two of you are going to sit your plots down and put this second rate piece of garbage,” she swatted at the book in front of them, “to shame.”

“Um,” Thomas interjected worriedly. “Couldn’t we just, maybe write the authors a letter; let them know they need to update?”

“There was no author,” Talon said, pointing below the title. “An Institute made this. You know what that means?” She didn’t wait for them to reply. “It means this book is the product of a team of spoiled rich foals who got expensive degrees and who only do just barely enough work to justify not getting real jobs.”

“You don’t like academics, do you?” Thomas asked.

“Egg heads who do real research are just fine,” Talon said with a huff before opening the cover and pointing out the three pages of the names of ponies who worked on this book. “But you don’t have this many guys working on something that can’t even update every half century if it’s something legit.”

“I…” Thomas began. “I can’t argue that.”

“Damn skippy, you can’t.”

“Language!” Moonlight whispered her scolding.

“Point is, nothing short of a letter from the Princesses is gonna get that bunch of bums off their lazy flanks. And even if it did, I don’t think they really deserve the credit for your ideas.”

“Well, strictly speaking, they’re not really my ideas.” Thomas countered meekly.

“Strictly speaking, if you’re the first one to say them, the masses will just tribute the idea to you anyway.” Talon informed. “And Smarty. How’d you like your little western to not only be engaging and stimulating, but also informative, something ponies tell their friends they just gotta read because it has all these amazing new ideas in it?”

Moonlight felt her mouth go dry as she imagined those very words coming out of potential readers. “That’d literally be a writer’s dream come true.” She squealed in excitement. I’d probably be in the running for at least six awards, and that’s just in the division of young first time authors. My book’d be featured in all the biggest magazines, put on who knows how many reading lists and all because of... She looked back at Thomas who’d been smiling at how happy she was. His ideas. That thought lingered in her mind and made her heart sink.

“Something the matter?” Thomas inquired of the suddenly sullen unicorn.

“If I did this, I’d essentially be profiting off of somepony else’s idea, your ideas,” Moonlight informed mournfully. “It wouldn’t be right.”

Thomas looked back at her thoughtfully and smiled. “Didn’t you say, back at the start, that you wanted us to write this thing together?” He reminded the unicorn. “And with how much I’ve already been helping out, why not just put me down as the co-author?”

“Co-author?” The word echoed in Moonlight’s mind, making her body feel all tingly. His logic is sound in that he has been contributing a lot. In fact, it’s entirely thanks to him that I’ve manage to double in a few weeks what had taken me years to get this far. If anything, I should probably be the co-author here, but he’s still letting me take the lead. Moonlight sniffled, the emotions currently welling up were getting too much for her to handle. “I… I…” she strained to say, but no more words followed. Instead she just lunged for the little guy and wrapped him up in a tight hug, though still mindful not to crush him against her armor.

Ignoring the chill of the metal plating against his bare chest, Thomas reciprocated as he said a silent thanks to Luna for the spell that helped protect him from such temperature extremes. When the hug broke, and after he scratched the back of his wrist, Thomas asked the first thing to come to mind. “Did we ever settle on a title?”

**********

“Hmm,” a lone orange unicorn hummed to himself as he leaned against a nearby book shelf, his nose buried deep in a copy of ‘Mythological Creatures and You’. As he’d expected, the passages on humans were downright pathetic as they were described as only coming up to a pony’s knees, yet a few pages later were said to be taller than the Princesses. He laughed to himself as he peered over his shoulder through a crack in the books at the human sitting a few feet away. The things the living myth was saying were more interesting than this dusty old tome anyway, but he still pretended to read while leaning against the book shelf.

**********

Broken from her internal revelry, Moonlight’s expression turned to consideration. “No. Hmm. It has to be something catchy, but also lets the reader know what they’re getting into.”

No duh. Thomas thought, but decided she was in too good a mood to say something so mean. “Two mares and a stallion coming together to thwart the bandits and save the gold,” he stated plainly. “Unless you’re thinking we change it again?”

“No. That’s about right for now.” Moonlight agreed. “It was originally supposed to focus on the adventure, but I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to throw in a few more sex scenes here and there.”

“Lotus Blossom!” Thomas blurted, only to be shushed by that same librarian from earlier.

“What do you mean?” Moonlight asked.

“Remember that scene where Gold Chaser and Sure Prospects get left for dead in the desert, only to stumble on an oasis?” Thomas began. “Gold Chaser gives Sure Prospects a flower from the lake. Well, what if the flower was a lotus blossom? Which, as it so happens, is the name of a sex position I didn’t see in that Guide.”

Moonlight nodded with cautious optimism. “Sounds good so far, but…”

“But?” Thomas repeated.

“What do you do in a lotus blossom?” Talon finished the question, leaning forward and propping her chin up as she set her elbows on the table, grinning lasciviously.

Thomas chuckled. “Well, after coming so close to death, this is where Gold and Sure come to realize they can’t stand to lose one another. So…” he paused dramatically, loving the way the two females leaned in with almost desperate curiosity. “Rather than flipping her over and rutting like animals, we instead get something a bit more intimate. Gold starts by sitting down cross legged, and then Sure, while facing him” he emphasized, “sits down in his lap. She wraps her legs around his back while he holds her butt to help move her arounds. It’s basically sex where hugging is part of the function.”

“Lotus Blossom,” Moonlight said with hushed breath, afraid that speaking the word too loud might frighten it off. “I love it.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, here,” Talon cautioned. “I mean, this stuff might be all well and good for humans, but there’s no way of knowing how it’ll work for Equestrians, not without proper testing.” The griffon held her ground while the others stared daggers back at her. “In the name of science, of course.” She added.

“Then in the name of science,” Thomas began daringly. “How about I try it out with Luna and you can watch from the sidelines. Participation would compromise the credibility of the study, after all.” He smirked, readying himself for her to realize what she’d locked herself into.

Talon tapped the bottom of her beak thoughtfully. “So you want me to watch very intently as you and Moonbutt hump yourselves to exhaustion? I’m good with that.”

**********

As the orange stallion watched the trio depart, he shook his head in amusement at how excited they were over this little idea. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little curious to see how this book turned out as well, but he had a mission to complete.

“Excuse me.” A librarian chided as she walked up to him. “Excuse me, but you’re not allowed to lean against the book sh-oh…” she paused upon spying the stallion’s missing right arm.

The stallion offered the librarian a friendly smile and snapped the book shut. “My apologies, Miss. Just got a little caught up in some good reading.” He held out the book for emphasis. “Did you know that humares,” he deliberately mispronounced, “are supposed to have magic that can rival the old unicorn sages?”

The librarian mare was clearly uncomfortable as she glanced between the book and the stallion’s missing arm. “I-I see.” She nodded absentmindedly, clearly not paying attention to his words. “I… sorry, but what was your name, again?”

The stallion shrugged casually. “Most folks call me Firestorm. Why?”

“Oh, uh, no reason,” the flustered mare stuttered. “W-will you be checking out this copy of…”

“No need.” Firestorm cut her off as he shelved the book. “Got everything I need from it already. Besides, I need to get back to work.” He explained coolly as he walked past the mare, playfully slapping her rump with his fire shaped brown tail. He could practically feel her blush as she stared as his departing form, but decided to put her on hold for later. After all, he really did have a job to do.

**********

Sure enough, the next time they were summoned to Luna, they shared their idea for both the book and the experiment. The Princess couldn’t say yes fast enough. While it would have been impossible to perform the lotus blossom in the traditional sense, Luna improvised by reversing their roles such that her hands were on his butt the entire time, no doubt to her pleasure as she goosed him more than once. However, upon seeing Talon poke her head out from behind Luna, apparently playing with her wings, he became more than a little curious about the source of the scribbling sound from behind him. With mounting dread, Thomas slowly turned his head to meet his observer face to face. Attentive Eye barely even looked up, never ceasing as she recorded everything she saw down to the last detail of, as he would later find out, the pressure with which Luna used to grip his buttocks.

Well isn't this a surprise. No, it isn't a return to my old habit of 2 chapters a week. I just realized I've got a surplus and thought I'd treat you guys.
Routine is established, only to have an all new project insert itself. I started really thinking about what it would mean for ponies to have such a small variety of sexual positions that it only seemed natural for Thomas to remedy this, especially after all that talk about the internet. As your average American male, Thomas has used the internet to look up porn before. Combined with Luna’s memory retrieval spell, he’s basically a walking encyclopedia of carnal knowledge. He doesn’t know the entirety of the Kamasutra, but the roughly dozen positions he does is more than sufficient. And Moonlight gets to profit from this knowledge thanks to the generosity of her co-author. Happy days all around. Now let’s see what we can do to mess with them.
Also, the introduction of a new character. Let’s see how he plays out.