It was 5:00 a.m. when they arrived at Luna’s room. Once the Princess and Thomas shed their disguises, the latter took a moment to re-acclimate to his old height while the former set the notes from her purchases in a night stand.

“Hold,” the Princess held up her hand just as Moonlight and Swift were donning their armor. “There is one more appointment for the evening, one that simply cannot be neglected. Moonlight, it would be best if you follow as you are.”

“Oh yeah!” Talon exclaimed as she slammed a fist into her claw. “I can’t believe I nearly forgot something so important.”

Thomas looked quizzically between the alicorn and the griffon. “I thought night court wasn’t held on the weekends.”

“Buck the night court,” Talon scoffed. “We’ve got something actually worth doing. You guys go on ahead. There’s something I need to do first.” Talon motioned to the dresser where Thomas kept his uniforms. When Luna nodded, she began rummaging through the bottom drawers which Thomas was certain had been empty earlier this evening.

Before Thomas could inquire further, he was guided out of the room by the Princess and the door closed behind them. He and the guards quickly fell into their formation behind Luna as she led the way to the dining hall. Thomas looked to Swift for some answer, but the guard remained stoic. Moonlight could offer nothing either. As they walked, Thomas’ mind reeled with questions regarding what he’d just learned.

This is a herd? I’m married… to Luna!? Granted, that part’s not so bad. She wouldn’t marry someone she didn’t care about… except for when she did, but that was politics. She gets no political advantages from marrying me, but we just like spending time together. It just… feels right. And now Tali’s in the herd too as some sort of live-in intervention? Am I married to her now too, or is it something different because this is a loan? If she’s married to Celestia, kinda, why is the Princess loaning her wife to her sister? Does this mean we’re going to have to… do things?

Finally they arrived. The guards outside the hall pushed the doors open for the Princess and her entourage, allowing them to enter the suspiciously darkened room. Swift and Moonlight were clearly tense, but Luna seemed perfectly at ease. Thomas snapped his head from side to side as he tried to follow suspicious noises throughout the room. Eventually, the door guards at the entrance closed the doors behind them and they were sealed in darkness. Suddenly, the room became filled with light. The guards flinched, ready for combat as a group of ponies burst from the shadows.

“Surprise!” shouted the ponies, diamond dogs, and minotaur of Celestia’s harem. Steamers hung from the ceiling, along banner hanging from the ceiling read ‘Hero’s Welcome’, and a number of balloons were tied to the chairs. The room echoed with applause and shook the goblets of various drinks. There was a tarp at the other end of the table covering something quite tall.

“What?” Thomas took a step back, only for Luna to grab his shoulder and hold him in place.

“At ease, everypony,” Luna smiled gently. “Behold a party to celebrate thy heroic accomplishments in Ponyville.”

“Hold it!” Talon screamed as she burst through the doors. “Don’t tell me I… I did,” she whined. “I missed it.”

“Too busy admiring yourself in the mirror?” Misty Breeze asked teasingly.

“Yeah,” Talon rubbed the back of her head guiltily. “Wanted to make sure I looked sexy enough for the party in my new duds,” she waved her claw down, indicating that she was now wearing a loincloth emblazoned with Luna’s cutie mark. “Turns out I had nothing to worry about.” The griffon was immediately set upon by the other members of Celestia’s harem with a torrent of back slaps, cheers, and jokes.

Thomas, who had stayed close to Luna’s side, saw that he was now being approached by Celestia. The elder alicorn, apart from her crown and horse shoes, was completely nude. Her magnificent breasts and bountiful bottom jiggled a bit with each step. Even her mane, which was a shade of light pink, was informally limp. She giggled when she noticed where Thomas was staring, and her sister joined in when he blushed and looked away.

“You see? I told you he liked your body.” Luna said teasingly. This caused Thomas to pretend to take great interest in his feet, which lead to both alicorns to coo.

“Do you approve, Sir Thomas?” Celestia motioned to the banner above, trying to stifle her giggles.

“What is all this?” Thomas asked.

Celestia tilted her head curiously. “It is a surprise party to celebrate your part in saving Ponyville from the ursa attack. As soon as my harem heard what happened, their minds were set. Personally, I think Red Amber did quite well putting this together on such short notice.”

“I suggested we hire a professional caterer,” spoke the eloquent Sun Dancer as she stepped beside Celestia. The peach unicorn was also nude. “But I had to agree with Amber on this. This is a private party for the family, so only family should be involved.”

“Family?” Thomas inquired.

“Speaking of family,” Luna gestured to Moonlight and motioned her forward. Swift moved off to the side and joined the handful of guards stationed along the walls as they watched the festivities in smiling silence. “Your deeds are being celebrated as well. And sister, I believe there is somepony who wishes to speak with you.”

Moonlight Shield stood at attention beside Luna, staring stoically up at Celestia. “Moony,” Celestia smiled awkwardly. “Please remove your helmet. I wish to see the lovely mare the adorable filly I once knew has grown into.”

While briefly hesitating, Moonlight removed her helmet and held it beneath her arm. The naked guard and Princess shared awkward smiles before Celestia beckoned her towards the edge of the room, out of earshot of the others.

“It’s about time,” Sun Dancer nodded towards the Princess and guard before returning her attention to Thomas. “Celestia was so torn up when Morning Glow decided to leave the harem, taking all his foals with him. It’s good to see those two reunited again.”

“I still don’t really follow,” Thomas spoke up. “I mean, what exactly is the deal with Blueblood anyway?”

With a scowl, Sun Dancer lazily craned her head towards the other end of the hall. There, Captain Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza seemed to be in the middle of a heated argument with Prince Blueblood. “The Prince’s parents were killed in an accident when he was young,” Sun Dancer explained. “Celestia, in a misguided effort to keep him happy, wound up spoiling him rotten.”

Shining had his arms locked beneath Cadence’s in an effort to hold her back from assaulting the Prince… further. Blueblood seemed on the verge of weeping, rubbing his cheek as Cadence hurled a torrent of unintelligible insults his way. Thomas saw a few of Celestia’s harem watching the show and chuckling to themselves while others inserted themselves as peace keepers.

“Now,” Sun Dancer continued with a sigh. “Blueblood is something of the black sheep in the family. He’s not all that bad, but he’s disgustingly entitled, almost like a parody of how most imagine the aristocrats to be. In fact,” she smirked, “that’s exactly what he is.”

“I don’t follow,” Thomas admitted.

Sun just smiled and shook her head. “Wish I could tell ya, little guy, but the big oaf likes to be the one to share the secret. I don’t really know why, but that’s just how he is. Just know that the next time you catch him making an ass out of himself, he doesn’t mean any harm by it.”

“Alright,” Thomas nodded, not grasping the mare’s meaning one bit. “And how does that relate to Moonlight’s dad wanting to keep her away because of Blueblood?”

Sun just stared blankly back at Thomas a short while before covering her mouth to hold back the snickers.

“What? What!?”

“Oh boy,” Sun said to herself. “He’s gonna have a field day with this one.” And she walked off, leaving Thomas and Luna equal parts confused and annoyed.

“Who the buck said you guys are allowed to look glum!?” Talon shouted from behind. “This is a party and you’re the freaking guest of honor,” she pointed at Thomas.

“Me?”

“Buck yeah,” Talon held up a golden goblet, causing some wine to spill.

“Don’t be bashful,” said an approaching stallion. He had dirty brown fur, a black mane, and an impressively muscled physique. The hammer on his flank reminded Thomas that his name was Sure Hammer. “Tali told us all of your… amazing accomplishment,” he tittered, followed shortly by the snickers of the other concubines.

“I might have saved that filly, but otherwise I didn’t really do anything that special,” Thomas denied sheepishly.

“Kissing my sister wasn’t that special?” Shining asked as he led Cadence by the hand while she still continued scowling back at Blueblood.

Like Celestia, the pink Princess was also fully nude, save for her crown and horse shoes, likely because this was supposed to be an informal gathering and clothing was considered a formality. However, while most ponies did go around most of the time without clothing, Thomas still felt shocked when he met an important pony who normally wore clothes suddenly disregard them. Luna had only ever exposed herself to him while they were in relative privacy, but Celestia, and now Shining and Cadence, couldn’t care less who saw them.

Despite them both being well built white unicorns with similarly fine chins and even genitals of comparable size, Thomas had no trouble distinguishing Shining from Blueblood. Besides the difference in mane color, it was mostly in the way they carried themselves. Blueblood always walked around like a strutting peacock while Shining had a more respectful air about him, like someone who had been in the military most of his life and worked hard to earn his position at the top, though where that came from was anyone’s guess.

The Captain’s commanding presence was balanced out by the more disarming presence of the pink alicorn to his right. Once she decided that Blueblood was no longer worth her attention, she turned to Thomas with a disarming smile. Cadence’s long multi-colored mane and tail swayed behind her, bouncing with each step. In terms of height, she was only slightly taller than Shining, but this still left her the smallest of the alicorns… for now. Her breasts were somewhat smaller than Luna’s, which was still an impressive size. Thomas had to force himself to avert his gaze from her dark pink nipples and pubic hair cut in the shape of a heart before her coltfriend got any more upset with him.

“I… uh…” Thomas stuttered.

“Don’t worry,” Cadence held up her hand to stop Thomas. “Pleasure to see you again, auntie,” she tilted her head in a bow to Luna.

“Likewise, Princess,” Shining mirrored her actions.

“A pleasure as always,” Luna nodded in turn.

“My coltfriend knows you were only trying to shock little Twiley back to reality,” Cadence laughed. “A pretty good strategy, if I do say so myself.”

“Yeah,” Thomas insisted. “I didn’t mean anything by it. Honest.”

Shining furrowed his brow at the human. “You still stole my little sister’s first kiss. Her last letter described it in great detail. I trust that you’re not the sort of stallion to play with mares’ hearts. And if you were interested in my sister, you’d court her properly instead of kissing and running.”

“Stop scaring him, Shiny,” Cadence bumped his shoulder. “Mr. Thomas isn’t the sort of stallion to do that sort of thing.”

“Fine,” Shining relented. “Just having some fun with the little guy. But how would you know what he’s like?”

“For one, I’m the Princess of Love, but I’m sure I don’t need to remind you of that,” she cooed as Shining flushed. “Do I?”

“Please don’t,” the white stallion pleaded meekly. “It’s not good for morale for the soldiers to see their Captain walk around with a limp all the time.”

TMI, guys. Thomas judged harshly.

“We’ll talk about that later. However, this means I can literally see the connections between ponies and what they mean. Thomas here barely even regards Twilight as a friend, with absolutely no desires for any kind of physical relationship. Besides, even if I wasn’t me, it’d be pretty obvious that he’s too head over hooves for Auntie Luna to think much about anypony else,” she snickered. “He’ll need a bit more practice before he’s ready for Twiley.”

Thomas froze at hearing Cadence say those words so casually, but an arm around his shoulder pulling him close to Luna’s side and quickly killed his worries.

“Love you,” Luna’s voice was like the softest of silks combined with a defibrillator with the way it jumpstarted Thomas’ heart.

“L-love you too.” Thomas could only meet Luna’s eyes for so long before he blushingly became very interested in the tiles beneath his feet.

“I guess that’s alright,” Shining grumbled. “Still, stealing a mare’s first kiss isn’t cool, bro.”

“Sorry,” Thomas apologized. “It’ll never happen again.”

“Don’t be too sure about that,” Misty Breeze cut in. “Tali says you finally know what a Senior Concubine is. That means, when Luna finally brings in a new member, you get first dibs.” Her grin spread from ear to ear.

“What is that look for, Dearest Thomas?” Luna asked.

“It’s nothing,” Thomas dismissed.

Luna put her hand on Thomas’ back and gently pushed him away from the group. Once they were far enough, Luna stared down sternly at him, her eyes commanding him to confess.

“I… I’m just a little, ya know, nervous about being with Tali like that.”

“Be with Tali like what?” Talon asked, startling Thomas as she appeared behind him. “What’s the matter, little chimp? Intimidated by all this?” she struck a pose.

“It’s not that… not really,” Thomas admitted. “It’s just, I don’t know. We’re friends. Since coming to Equestria, you were pretty much my first friend besides Luna. I don’t…”

“Want that to change,” Talon finished, placing her claw on Thomas’ shoulder and giving him a reassuring smile. “Don’t sweat it, chimp. I won’t. Granted I am a bit disappointed that we won’t get to play together, but its fine. Ponies are a lot more casual about this kind of stuff, so I get where you’re coming from. If it happens, it happens, but I won’t pressure you to get all up in this,” she gestured to her hips, “if you aren’t comfortable with it. Alright?”

“Yeah,” Thomas sighed in relief. “That makes me feel a lot better.”

“Good,” Talon gave a firm nod. “Now, stop overthinking stuff and get your flank out there and mingle with the others before I decide to make you my personal cushion for the rest of the evening.”

With that, Thomas allowed himself to approach the other members of Celestia’s harem. He still had trouble with a lot of their names, but in general they were as easy going as Talon. The alcoholic cider didn’t hurt, either. Soon Celestia joined in their conversations, accompanied by Moonlight who greeted the older concubines she recognized. Shining and Cadence were laughing and joking with the rest of them. Even Blueblood, after much seething, stepped forward and made pleasant enough conversation with a few of the other concubines, but made sure to steer clear of Thomas, mostly because Luna refused to leave the human’s side and gave the stallion the stink eye any time he got too close. None the less, much merriment and booze was had.

Eventually the tarp came down to reveal a massive four layer cake. Thomas’ teeth hurt just looking at it, which he had to because etched in icing around the sides were murals depicting the ursa’s attack and eventual vanquishing. “Wow.”

“You like?” An earth pony mare with red fur and a white mane asked.

“Y-yeah. Um…” Thomas concentrated on the mare, trying to recall her name. “Red Amber, right?” She nodded. “Oh good,” Thomas exhaled in relief at successfully remembering a pony’s name. “You’re the one who handled the catering right?”

“That I am,” Amber puffed out her chest and set her hands on her hips proudly.

“Even the cake?” Thomas asked, still marveling over the sugary spectacle. “Because I swear it’s like you plastered photos onto the thing. That’s how good it looks.

“Well… all but this,” a deflated Amber pointed at the cake. “This was the only thing we didn’t make.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” she rubbed the back of her head guiltily. “See, I had the idea for a cake decorated to show what all happened during the attack. I wrote to Twilight for details, but I forgot to mention that I wanted to keep the party planning private. By the time I remembered to clarify, this,” she once more gestured to the cake, “had already been delivered.”

Thomas studied the cake carefully before returning his gaze back to Amber. “This all happened in a day?” He asked skeptically.

“An hour,” Amber corrected to the human’s disbelief. “I wrote and sent the letter, only to get distracted with other things. When it was pointed out that we needed to hurry up and start the cake, I had literally just sat down to start a new letter when the servants rolled this thing into the dining hall.”

Thomas performed a double take on the cake. “I thought things like this took days to make.”

“Oh,” Amber remembered and pulled a note out from behind her back. She was naked and her mane didn’t go down far enough to reach where her hand had gone, so where exactly the note came from was a complete mystery. “Here,” she handed it to the human. “It’s for you.”

Thomas took the note and eyed it warily. It smelled of cotton candy and had his name written on it. Deciding he had nothing to lose, he opened it. Once he recovered from the shock of confetti exploding out, he read:

Thomas stared at the letter for a while longer, studying the crayon letters intently, especially that last message. Did she know what she just said? How could she? Then again, how could she have known that other thing?

“Are you alright?” Amber asked.

“Oh. Uh, yeah. Just the cake maker hoping I enjoy her work.”

“Well that’s nice,” Amber said as she cut off a slice and handed it to him. “Better not disappoint, then.”

Thomas folded the note and set it aside before taking the plate holding the slice. It was one of the edge pieces and therefore covered in the most frosting. Finding a fork, he cut off a piece and cautiously tasted it. “Awesome!” he cheered. “Milk chocolate with…” he took a second look at the slice to see a second layer of frosting within, “lemon!” His brow then furrowed. “How’d she know… ya know what? Never mind.” Thomas relented as he decided to just eat the cake. And listen to the surrounding conversations.

“So, Princess *hic* Cadence,” Steel Hoof asked, wobbling somewhat as the wine began to take its toll. “If you’re the Princess of Love, why don’t you gotta *hic* harem?”

“This again,” Shining sighed with a roll of his eyes.

Thomas looked up, curious to hear the answer as well. He saw Cadence tighten her grip around Shining’s arm and rest her head on his shoulder.

“Because Shining is my Prince,” Cadence said dreamily. “I really can’t see myself with anypony but him, at least not for more than one night,” she giggled.

“She doesn’t mean it,” Shining assured the others. “Me and Cadi have only been engaged a few weeks and we’ve only just set the date,” Shining explained to the congratulatory tittering of mares and hoots of stallions. “We’ve been looking into expanding the herd, maybe getting a harem too, but we’ve both been so busy lately that it’s been hard finding the time to look. Besides,” he leaned in and whispered loud enough for all to hear. “No pony’s been able to keep up with us in bed yet.”

“Shiny!” Cadence gasped as the surrounding concubines howled in laughter. She seethed at the stallion beside her, smiling so smugly at what he’d said. However, her mock anger quickly fizzled when he turned a gentler smile on her. With no other option, Cadence rolled her eyes and leaned in for a kiss.

Amidst the surrounding awes, Thomas almost stepped forward, but then thought better of it.

“Something the matter?” Celestia whispered into Thomas’ ear. “It looked like you wanted to say something.”

“I, uh,” Thomas said in a hushed tone. “I was going to ask if they’d thought to tell Twilight about their engagement.”

“So why didn’t you?” Celestia asked with a blank expression.

Thomas shrugged before explaining in a hushed voice. “In her surprise about the news, Twilight gets really suspicious of Cadence. That leads to her snooping around and, ya know…”

“Indeed,” Celestia nodded. “You have wisely chosen restraint in this matter, but do not fear. My agents will be watching my niece like a hawk until the wedding’s end. We have sentries all around Canterlot on the lookout for suspicious behavior. Thanks to your warning, I do believe we can successfully change the future, my young oracle.”

“Do they know?” Thomas asked, motioning to the engaged pair.

Celestia nodded. “Cadence has been advised to be on her guard until after the wedding. She knows not to go anywhere alone. Thankfully,” she smiled, “my niece spends most of her time with her fiancé anyway, so I suspect we have little to fear there.”

“If you say so,” Thomas relented.

“I do,” Celestia stood back to her full height. “Now return to celebrating. You’ve earned it, if Twilight’s letter was anything to go by,” she teased.

Party games soon followed, including pin the tail on the pony, spin the bottle, and an attempt by Celestia’s harem to form a pyramid, which only made it to three ponies high before it collapsed into a heap of drunken laughing concubines; and apparently someone had penetrated someone else. Later, a piñata in the shape of an ursa was brought out. Thomas was promptly blindfolded and given a stick, but all his efforts were for naught. A few more ponies had their turns before Moonlight stepped up and got it on the first swing, spilling its sugary innards to the ground below.

“Success,” Celestia cheered, embracing Moonlight from behind and causing the smaller unicorn to blush heavily.

“Joyous celebration!” Luna added.

“Too late,” Talon cut in as she bent over the pile of candy. “It’s already a *hic* party.”

“Leave the yellow ones for dearest Thomas,” Luna warned gently. “They are his favorite.”

“How did you know that?” Thomas inquired, mildly shocked at the alicorn knowing what he’d never told her.

“Dearest Thomas. Do you truly believe me so negligent?” Luna asked, bringing her hand to her forehead in dramatized distraught. “How you wound me.” The façade quickly fell as she began laughing. “Truthfully, I simply observed where your eyes fell whenever we paid visits to a candy store. You rarely ask for anything, but your desire is quite clear.”

Thomas beamed back at Luna. It was a small gesture, but it still moved him deeply. Seeing his smile, a few of the nearby mares cooed at how adorable he looked, which led to him blushing and their cooing to intensify. It was a vicious and merciless cycle.

It was 7:00 a.m. by the time the party began to die down. After filling up on party treats, there was a consensus that dinner could be skipped. The concubines soon dispersed, leaving the hall individually or in groups. Blueblood left with one of Celestia’s mares. Sun Dancer pulled Talon aside, looking quite serious as she whispered something in the griffon’s ear, to which she responded with a thumbs up. Moonlight replaced her helmet, a contented expression on her face as she took her position just behind her charge. The Princesses all exchanged hugs, vowing that they should do this more often. Thomas froze when Celestia knelt down to give him a goodbye hug, doing everything in his power to concentrate on the number of goblets still standing and not on the giant marshmallow fun bags pressed into his chest. One final nuzzle from the Princess of the Sun did not help matters, much to the amusement of the alicorns and even a bit of sympathy from Shining. Cadence also demanded a hug, which she only let go after whispering in his ear, “Have fun.”

Talon gave an affirming nod. “Now that the sappy stuff is out of the way, what’s say we head back to Moonbutt’s room to break in your latest herd-mate?”

“Verily,” Luna cheered.

“Oh, goodie.”

Thomas is made to feel like a hero to top off the revealing yet pleasant date. Some minor interactions with other ponies, which could have been more, but I couldn’t think of anything else just yet. On the whole, this could be called one of his better days, if it weren’t at night. And it isn’t even over yet.

As for my earlier statement about new chapters... The story is seriously flawed. It started out unbelievably sloppy and that has led to serious pacing issues ever since. Most of these chapters are first drafts with only a couple ever going through serious revisions. To fix these problems, I'd have to delete everything and start from scratch, which I'm simply not going to do. If I even tried, knowing me, I'd immediately lose all interest and move on to something else. Instead, I've decided to just roll with what I got and make minor improvements along the way. Besides, the next few chapters have already been written anyway.