When it became clear that Thomas couldn’t offer as many specifics about machines as Lyra wanted, she decided to ease up until they reached their destination. Maybe then she’d think of better ways to phrase her questions. Surprisingly, the mint unicorn completely forgot to ask any questions about human history, but that was probably for the best as the human in question was hesitant to get into many of the more unpleasant elements.

“You think we should get us a pegasus?” Lyra asked her fillyfriend as they walked along, leading the others to Sugarcube Corner.

“For what?” Bonbon asked.

“Like them,” Lyra gestured to Thomas, Moonlight, and Talon. “Thomas is the earth pony and Talon is like the pegasus. They’re like a weird amalgamation of all three tribes and they seem happy together. Maybe we should get a herd like theirs.”

Bonbon’s ear twitched inquisitively. “Really? A stallion, or do you want another mare first?”

“Either or,” Lyra shrugged. “Maybe both. That might be fun.”

Wow. Thomas thought as he watched the two. Lyra just casually brings up the idea of bringing someone else into the relationship and Bonbon doesn’t seem jealous or remotely bothered in any way. This is just a normal thing for ponies in relationships to discuss. It’s like Lyra’s magazines were a bigger source of tension than the prospect of bringing in another mare or stallion. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t bother to remind them that they weren’t a herd.

The group prattled on like this for the remainder of their walk. Lyra and Talon caught up on all that had happened since Lyra left for Ponyville. Thomas tried to talk to Bonbon, but the mare seemed too intimidated to give anything but short, simple answers. Upon noticing her rather plump figure out on display for the world to see, Thomas’ own discomfort eventually led him to give up for now. Thankfully, Moonlight was there to put a hand on his shoulder to assure him with her presence.

“So Thomas,” Lyra called back from beside Talon. “There are other humans besides you, right? I mean, it’d be silly if you were the only one in the whole world.”

“Yeah… silly,” Thomas nodded as he remembered what he’d read in the paper, not wanting to divulge any more than what was absolutely necessary. “I’m afraid I don’t really remember how I got to Canterlot and I don’t know how to get back to my homeland.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Bonbon offered sympathetically. “It must be hard being alone and away from your people.”

“I might be away from my people, but I’m hardly alone. This one’s assigned to me and I can’t keep this one away,” Thomas assured her as he indicated Moonlight and Talon respectively. “Between them and Lu… the Princess,” he corrected, trying to remember public etiquette, “I haven’t been alone since I got here.”

“What’s the human country like? Machines are one thing, but I’ve been meaning to ask all day.” Lyra beamed.

“Here we are!” Bonbon announced as they arrived in front of the bakery, unknowingly saving Thomas. “Come on. The Cakes are really nice.”

“And the pastries ain’t bad either,” Lyra joked to the confusion of Talon and Moonlight, but not Thomas.

“Please ignore Lyra,” said Bonbon as she pushed the door open and beckoned them in. “One of her many delusions is that her jokes are funny.”

“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner,” greeted a mustard orange lanky stallion from behind the counter. He wore a baker’s hat and an apron and smiled welcomingly at the new customers. “My name is Carrot Cake, but most ponies call me Mr. Cake. What can I do for you this fine day?” he waved his arms out to indicate the whole of the bakery. The walls were lined with baked goods of every size, shape, and color imaginable. The smell of fresh sugar was intoxicating.

However, Thomas found himself focusing on the stallion’s apron. The counter hid everything below his stomach, but something deep down told the human that Carrot Cake wasn’t wearing anything else apart from the hat and apron. This led Thomas to imagine those sexy aprons women wore to look erotic in anime and manga, those pieces of cloth that barely covered the front and nothing else. In turn, this almost led him to imagining how Luna would look in such an apron, but then he remembered the conversation back in the alley and decided to put such thoughts aside.

“We’re all entitled to our delusions,” Lyra shrugged, ignoring Mr. Cake. “I think I’m funny, and you think all those spare candies don’t go straight to your flanks.”

It was Bonbon’s turn to scrunch her face as literal steam rose from her head. “Why you…”

Mr. Cake rolled his eyes at the familiar sight of the pair arguing and turned his attention to the faces that weren’t familiar. “I see you three have already met Bonbon. I’m certain one of our former top chefs has told you we have the finest baked goods in all Ponyville.”

“She didn’t need to,” Talon stepped up and leaned against the counter. “The smell of this place is all the advertising you need.”

“If only it were that easy, but I’m happy you think so,” Mr. Cake smiled warmly, apparently unfazed by the griffon’s presence. “We’ve got some lovely muffins on special today. But since it's closer to lunch, maybe you’d like some sweet bread?” he indicated the shelves to his left.

“Bread sounds good,” Talon nodded, glancing at her companions behind her. “We’ll have five of the honey loaves. I’ll buy.”

“Hold on a second,” Thomas stepped forward.

“Very good,” Mr. Cake turned his head. “Pinkie! Our guests would like five of the honey loaves,” he called, but no response came. “Pinkie? Please hold on a second.” He said as he walked to the back room, revealing that he wore no pants as his orange tail thankfully hid most of his rump.

“What was that about you buying?” Thomas asked.

Talon tilted her head. “I really don’t know how many other ways there are to take that.”

Thomas furrowed his brow. “I just paid you back. Look, I’ll buy mine and you buy yours.”

“I didn’t bring any bits,” Moonlight spoke up.

“Oh calm down, will ya,” Talon waved them off. “I’m the one taking you guys out, so it’s only right I buy. This is my treat. No debt this time. Promise.”

“Fine,” Thomas agreed.

“Sorry,” Mr. Cake emerged from the back room, carrying five loaves of bread. “I forgot our assistant chef stepped out for her break. That was just the five loaves, right?” he asked as he set the bread on the counter.

“That’s right,” Talon confirmed, dipping into her bit bag and handing over a few coins. “And we’ll wash them down with some milkshakes.”

“Isn’t that the bag you gave her earlier?” Moonlight whispered.

“Yeah,” Thomas realized. “How did she pull that out without us noticing?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Talon smirked, bouncing her eyebrows suggestively as she held out her purchase.

“I think I’m good, thanks,” Thomas said flatly. “So we really don’t owe you for this, right?”

“Oh come on, chimp. You know you can trust me, right?”

After exchanging a wary glance with Moonlight, Thomas nodded. “Sure. But first, where’s the bathroom in this place?”

“It’s right over there,” Mr. Cake pointed to a door behind the counter.

“Appreciated,” Thomas nodded before heading over, all the while trying to ignore the whispers of the other ponies as Moonlight followed close behind. “Is this really necessary?” Thomas asked as he opened the door and lingered just outside.

“I’m your body guard,” Moonlight said firmly. “And it’s not like I go in the stall with you.”

“That’s because I asked you not to,” Thomas snapped, only to recoil when he saw Moonlight’s ears flatten against her head.

“I… I’m sorry,” Moonlight said, doing her best to keep her head held high. “I just… I just don’t want to fail you again, Sir.”

Oh twist my arm, why don’t ya! “Just… just stay outside the stall. Alright?”

Moonlight perked up. “Yes sir.”

The restroom was mixed, probably because a shop this size couldn’t afford two. Once inside, Thomas closed the stall door and took his seat. “I… I’m not mad at you, you know.”

“Sir?”

“Back when Lyra tackled me. I’m not mad.”

“It was still a failure on my part, Sir,” Moonlight said adamantly. “A guard is supposed to be vigilant at all times. I should have seen her coming. I should have reacted quicker when I saw what she was doing to you.”

“In all fairness, I’m a little used to being sat on by now,” Thomas admitted with a light chuckle.

“That’s not the point!” Moonlight countered, her voice betraying the sadness she felt. “I… I’m worried.”

“About what?”

Moonlight cursed herself for even thinking of sharing this with Thomas of all people. Discussing reassignment with one’s charge was never a good idea. “I fear that I have become far too lax in my duties as of late. I…”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Thomas cut in. “You know, blast her.” It’s bad enough she feels like she failed. Who know how much worse it would have been if someone actually got hurt?

“Sir Thomas?”

“I could see it in your eyes,” Thomas confessed. “You were about to unleash a serious spell on her. It wouldn’t have been great for a guard to attack a civilian like that, even if you were just doing your job. Police back home get suspended for stuff like that. What about here?”

“We… it’s the same, I suppose,” Moonlight admitted. “Suspension, followed by an investigation.” She chuckled. “Come to think of it, a guard attacking an unarmed civilian like that, even if in the line of duty… you’re probably right how bad it’d look.”

“You were keeping an eye on me the entire time,” Thomas assured. “Just… just try not to let any more ponies sit on me, and we’ll call it even.”

Still standing outside the stall, Moonlight beamed at herself in the mirror. “I think I can manage that. Thank you, Sir Thomas.”

“While we’re at it, can you drop the ‘Sir’ already? It still feels weird.”

“As you say… Sir Thomas.”

Though there was a door between them, Thomas swore he could see the smirk on the unicorn’s face. Hopefully she’d be able to feel his glare just as easily. With that done, the human finished his business, washed his hands, and returned to the others.

**********

Exiting the bakery, Talon handed Thomas one roll and Moonlight two as they sat at a nearby table. Lyra and Bonbon bought their own treats and ate with them at one of the tables outside.

“Why do you only get one loaf?” Bonbon asked. “I thought you were all together.”

“Chimp here’s on the small side,” Talon explained as she swallowed a large bite. “He doesn’t need quite as much to keep that little body moving.” She smiled as she met Thomas’ glare. “What? It was a compliment. You eat so little and yet you still manage to make a Princess smile. That right there is some impressive efficiency we should all aspire to.”

Moonlight and Bonbon choked on their food while Lyra snickered and Thomas sank into his seat.

“So you said you wanted to see multiple friends,” Thomas interjected. “Lyra’s one of them, so who else are we going to meet?”

“Hmm,” Talon stroked the bottom of her beak. “The only other one who’d be in Ponyville right now would be… ya know what, I think I’ll make it a surprise. Yo, Lyra.”

The unicorn’s ears stood at attention.

“You remember that one mare you used to kinda-sorta hang out with; the anti-social one with the bangs? You know where she lives?”

“Oh yeah!” Lyra cheered. “We don’t really talk anymore, but I hear she’s really come out of her shell. She lives over at the library.”

Thomas tried to keep his face stern as he listened to the unicorn and griffon’s amusing attempt not to mention none other than the Element of Magic, Twilight Sparkle. They didn’t know that he knew, and they weren’t supposed to, but it was still entertaining how they were trying to keep the secret, obviously excited about the big reveal.

“I was hoping we could meet the bearers of the Elements of Harmony,” Moonlight piped up. “It’d be quite the treat to meet modern day heroes.”

“Heroes?” Bonbon pondered. “I never really thought of them like that. I mean, they’ve done some pretty amazing things, but they’re just regular ponies like you and me. They’re really…” Bonbon stopped as she went wide eyed.

The three companions followed her gaze until they saw a pink pony with cotton candy hair, balloons on her flank, and balloons tied to her waist lifting her off the ground as she propelled herself forward by swimming like a frog. She wore a cheery smile and nothing else, her legs repeatedly parting and breasts bouncing with each movement. Even at this distance, Thomas got a good look at her figure. Like most earth ponies, she was quite a bit larger than most. In contrast to the more lean and muscled bodies he’d grown accustomed to at the castle, this one looked just shy of being overweight, no doubt from an appreciation for sweets. Her pudge was not unattractive though, with most of the weight in her breasts, butt, and thighs. It made her body look as soft and fluffy as her mane and tail. Even her pubic hair was poofy.

“I stand corrected,” Bonbon said flatly. “Maybe they’re not that regular.”

“Hey Pinkie!” Lyra waved at the pink pony who snapped to attention as Lyra gestured to the three newcomers. “New friends,” she said in a manner similar to how one would say ‘come and get it’.

In the literal blink of an eye, the pink pony closed the distance with the group at the table and began bouncing excitedly. “Oh oh oh oh oooooh!” she cheered ecstatically, her fluffy fluff bouncing around more than her breasts. “New friends. I love new friends! Oh. We should totally throw a super fantastic party to celebrate our new friends in Ponyville.”

“I’ve never been one to turn down a free party,” Talon shrugged and extended a claw. “Name’s Talon. Nice to meet you.”

“My name’s Pinkie Pie and it’s great to meet you too, Talon,” the pink pony answered, reaching out with both hands and shook the griffon’s claw rather forcefully. When she let go, Talon looked a bit dizzy, but quickly rebound.

“Wow,” Talon awed. “Been a while since anyone was able to out-shake me before. You’re alright by me, Pinkie.”

“You’re alright by me too. You’re alright anywhere. It’s nice to meet a griffon who’s not a total meanie pants.”

“I’ll bet,” Talon nodded before gesturing to the others. “And these are my buds. Over here is Moonlight Shield.”

“Pleasure,” Moonlight tilted her head in a bow.

“Pleasure’s all mine,” Pinkie’s smile widened. “I just love-love-love meeting new friends and making them smile.” At that, Moonlight’s stern façade broke and she cupped her hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. “See. Like that. You just made my day.”

Talon nodded, apparently approving of Pinkie’s outlook on life. “And this here is Thomas.”

Pinkie turned to face the human. “Hi there, Thom… mas?” But then she went quiet. Slowly her smile began to fade into a ponderous frown. “Hmm. You look familiar. Have we met?”

“I can’t say that we have,” Thomas shook his head. “But I’ve heard a bit about you. You’re one of the Elements of Harmony, right?” He asked, hoping to be able to make idle conversation with one of the mane six.

“No.” Pinkie seemed to ignore his question as she shook her finger at him. “That face… I swear I’ve seen it somewhere before.”

“It was in the papers a little bit ago,” Moonlight offered. “Do you read the Canterlot Canter?”

Pinkie Pie snapped her fingers. “That’s it. Now I remember.” She bounced up and down in celebration. If she’d put more force into it, her heavy tits might have been able to do more than just jiggle. That they barely bounced was either a testament to the mare’s love of sweets, the pony magic of gravity defying hair and bodies, or just whatever you called whatever Pinkie Pie was. Alas, philosophical ponderings of anthro pony boobies would have to wait as Pinkie’s eyes widened in shock. The gleeful grin vanished. In its place grew a look of utter horror, the likes of which hadn’t been seen since Sugarcube Corner ran out of sugar. Her lip quivered in fear as she cautiously took several steps back.

“Hey,” Thomas waved meekly, but flinched Pinkie threw her hand over her mouth to hide her gasp. Sensing the sudden tension, Moonlight pushed her seat back, ready to stand and act at a moment’s notice.

“Um, Pinkie?” Bonbon reached out, only for the other earth pony to jump back several feet.

“Monster!” Pinkie squealed as she pointed accusingly at Thomas, making his heart go into panicked overtime. “Aliens from beyond the veil. Run for your lives! Ahhhhhhhhh!”

She tried her hardest to run away, but the balloons had once again lifted her off the ground. Her legs flailed about in vain as her body lazily flipped forward. It was all rather comical, especially as nearby ponies decided that Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie was worthy of their notice.

“Anypony want to panic with me?” She asked the nearby pedestrians after doing a full vertical 360. “No? Okay. Ahhhhhhhhhh!” She continued to spin as the balloons carried her away, leaving the five friends at the table dumbstruck, though Lyra and Bonbon soon recovered and got back to their milkshakes.

“What was that?” Moonlight asked sternly, still tense and ready to act.

Bonbon smiled with a mix of guilt and nervousness. “That was Pinkie Pie, the Element of Laughter.”

Moonlight did a double take on the still screaming earth pony. “That was the Element of Laughter?”

“She was the one the others ignored when she warned about the parasprites?” Talon pointed.

Lyra nodded solemnly, remembering the terror of that day and the trauma she’d suffered after one of the little buggers ate her cake, a single tear returning to her eye.

“I guess you won that one,” Moonlight said to Thomas in a bid to keep everyone calm.

“Won what one?”

“When you said that the others might not have taken her seriously because she’s a silly pony,” Moonlight reminded. “I don’t think I’d have taken her warning seriously either.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Lyra warned as she took drank the last of her milkshake. “Pinkie Pie might be a little… Pinkie, but you’d be surprised how often her predictions come true.”

All eyes fell on Thomas, making him exceedingly uncomfortable.

“Are you?” Bonbon began. “I mean…”

“That’s absurd,” Moonlight denied vehemently. “He might be alien in that he’s a foreigner, but that doesn’t make him an alien-alien, right?” she looked at Thomas, eyes pleading for him to deny the accusation.

“I don’t think it matters,” Talon wrapped her arm protectively around Thomas. “Who cares how he came here. After all, Princess Luna doesn’t seem to mind.”

Thomas smiled gratefully at the griffon, but noticed Bonbon whispering to Lyra, causing the unicorn’s ears to splay against her head.

“Sorry guys,” Bonbon apologized. “But, uh, I think we left the oven on. Come on Lyra.”

“But Bonnie,” Lyra whined.

“Not now,” Bonbon yanked on Lyra’s hand, pulling the smaller unicorn to her feet. “We can discuss it when we get home.” And they left.

Thomas sat in silence, too confused to speak though admittedly not as hurt as he felt he should be. The ponies I thought I was making friends with just walked away, looking at me like I’m some sort of monster. And they only did that because Pinkie Pie, somehow, figured out that I’m from another universe, maybe? My cover’s been blown, maybe. I need to tell Luna and Celestia. Thomas suddenly became acutely aware of every passing glance a pony sent his way, each one seeming to hold some air of fear and even hate behind it.

Her arm still locked around him, Talon shook Thomas loose from his thoughts. “Don’t pay them any mind,” she consoled. “If they believe stuff as stupid as that from obviously crazy ponies, they’re not worth worrying about. Understand?”

Thomas nodded, giving in to the urge press a little harder into Talon’s fur, taking comfort in the promise of protection her warmth offered. He didn’t see the look she gave Moonlight, but the unicorn quickly nodded and gave Thomas’ shoulder a light push, assuring him that she was here too. He nodded thankfully. The three rose from the table and walked off in no particular direction.

“Just one thing,” Talon said to Thomas and pointed a claw threateningly at his face. “If I find out you are some kind of evil alien invader, I’m gonna give you such a pinch. Got it?” She held that stern expression for as long as she could before her beak finally cracked into a smile, her joke relieving Thomas enough to smile too.

Wow. What the hell is up with Pinkie? You’d think the Element of Laughter would be a bit more considerate and not call someone a monster, Then Lyra and Bonbon ditch them. And they seemed like they were getting along so well, too. Shame. Good thing he has real friends who he knows he can rely on, especially after that heart-to-heart with Moonlight.