Horse People Go Naked
Chapter 151: Chapter 150: Distractions from Troubles
Previous Chapter Next ChapterEveryone returned to the castle later that evening. Much to Thomas’ relief, Luna didn’t react as intensely as he feared. Sure, she was worried, but she didn’t overreact with overprotective coddling. “I think your assessment is the best approach,” Luna said while holding Thomas in her lap, demonstrating the usual level of coddling. “There is no point in worrying until we better understand the issue. I also think Dr. Feelgood has the right idea. We should maintain old wards and avoid casting any new spells on you.”
“Seems pretty straightforward,” Thomas agreed as he leaned against Luna’s ample bosom. “So, that was my night. What about yours?”
Luna wagged her finger at the human. “Tut-tut. We are not done yet,” she gently chided as a wry grin split her lips. “Did you happen to visit any of my recommendations?”
Thomas chuckled, relieved for the change of topic. “Just the first one with—What was her name?”
“Subtle Tear,” Moonlight reminded while sitting on Luna’s other side. “The Sword in the Stone.”
“Oh, I enjoyed that one,” Silver said. She sat in Surprise’s lap while the white mare sat beside Luna on the bed. “Also, why am I sitting on your lap?” she asked her fellow winged mare.
“Cuz you’re small and cute, and I like doing this.” Surprised wrapped her arms around the smaller mare and happily squeezed. “Besides, you tried to get away earlier, but I caught you, so that means you belong to me now.”
“Sorry, Silver,” Honey said while leaning against a nearby wall. “Ah’d’ve liked ta have ya, mahself, but Surrpsie was quicker.”
“Why do I have to belong to whoever catches me?” Silver whined. “Why can’t I be a free pony and sit wherever I like?”
“To be fair, can you think of a more comfortable seat than a mare’s lap?” Moonlight asked.
“Several,” Silver boasted as she proudly straightened her back. “First and foremost, a mare’s face.”
“Well, you’ve got me there,” Surprise accepted. “However, I got you first, so we’re doing my thing.” She tightened her grip as Silver slowly came to terms with her fate.
“Anyway,” Moonlight cut in. “I was surprised somepony got so much from just that one scene.”
“What scene?” Silver asked.
“They took the wizard’s duel scene from the movie and gave a lecture about it,” Thomas replied. “Well, maybe less a lecture and more a scolding. Apparently, unicorns aren’t too creative with their magic, so this was supposed to change that,” he said while looking up at Luna with expectant eyes.
The alicorn smiled like a cat who’d swallowed the canary. “I could not help myself. ‘Tia told me of this problem some time ago. So, when you shared the movie in your dreams, I thought it would be perfect for addressing the issue.”
“So you made a copy?” Thomas asked.
“Nothing so intrusive,” Luna countered. “We were already in your dreams, so I simply remembered everything.”
“Ah,” Thomas said in understanding. “If this were humans, I think this’d be a privacy breach, but I guess magic gives all kinds of workarounds.”
“I fail to see the breach if you invited us in the first place,” observed Silver.
Thomas nodded. “True. However, I could argue that I was coerced. If I refused, you guys would just make sad pouty faces at me until I surrendered. That’s just not playing fair.”
“Agree to disagree,” Luna chimed in while still grinning. “Anyway, what did you think?”
“About the whole thing? I think it was pretty clever,” Thomas replied. “Moonlight, Jet, and I talked about it right after, and I think I’ve got other ideas that could serve the same purpose. Although I think I’d prefer if we tried not to make a big deal about these being my ideas,” he emphasized.
“We already talked about this,” reminded Moonlight. “As far as anypony cares, the ideas came from you. Whether they were originally yours or not doesn’t matter too much to them. Plus, if they have questions, who else are they going to ask?”
“Fair enough, but I’d still like it if people don’t start treating me like some kind of genius. I’m not,” Thomas asserted. “Also, I think you underestimate crowdsourcing.”
“What’s that mean?” Surprise asked while resting her chin on Silver’s head.
“Well, with the internet, there are literally millions of people all sharing their opinions on literally everything. There are whole channels dedicated to analyzing fiction. There was one episode analyzing a battle from a really popular show. In reality, a studio run by highly paid coordinators worked for months to set everything up to make it as cool as possible. And in the video, some random guy from nowhere spent days putting together a thirty-minute episode explaining everything the soldiers did wrong within the context of the show’s world. The guy got tens of thousands of upvotes, meaning tens of thousands of people agreed with his analysis. My point is that you shouldn’t underestimate the perspectives of random pedestrians with too much time on their hands. Once the ideas are out there, it won’t be long before plenty of people understand them better than I do.”
“Which is precisely why you ought to share those ideas,” urged Luna. “Giving them to others who can put them to use is the point. What is wrong with receiving credit for passing along such things?”
Thomas pursed his lips. These mares were persistent. “Well, so long as we stress that I’m just passing them along. I don’t want to be set up as a genius, only to immediately prove that I’m not.”
“That should be simple to arrange,” allowed Luna as she kissed Thomas’ forehead. “It was my suggestion to turn the humans in the scene into ponies to prevent potential confusion. We can simply continue with that practice. Now, what about the other presentations?”
Thomas apologetically shrugged. “Sorry, but we didn’t go to the others. I kinda got stuck in my own head from that first one, and I figured the others would just be more of the same.”
Luna pouted. “I see. I am sorry for not properly taking your feelings into account. I simply wanted to surprise you with the benefits of your presence.”
“Yeah, I figured.” Thomas touched Luna’s chin and guided her down to kiss on the lips. “You’re sweet like that.”
“I certainly am,” Luna beamed.
“Oh, and I almost forgot,” Thomas said while looking at his unicorn. “Moonlight met an old friend.”
Moonlight almost felt the weight of everyone’s collective stares focusing on her and was sure that Thomas had done this on purpose. “Her name is Soothing Star. She’s an old foalhood friend. We lost track of each other when we were young, but she’s gone onto applying for the Dream Walkers.”
“Oh, so she’s a Luna worshipper?” inquired Silver.
“She is. I think you’d like to meet her. She’s still as fun as I remember.” Moonlight turned to look at Honey. “She’s also a bit of a nerd, so I think you’d like her too.”
“Oh-oh-oh, what about me?” Surprise insistently asked. “Would I like her?”
“You like everypony,” Moonlight flatly reminded.
“Eh, fair enough. Anyway, can somepony get me a brush?” Surprise requested as she ran her fingers through Silver’s mane. “Somepony needs some work done. Just what’d you do to get your mane like this?”
Moonlight lit her horn and levitated a brush from the bathroom to Surprise’s hand.
Silver giggled as she leaned into the white mare’s gentle caresses. “The better question is: what did I not do?”
“Ya put ‘er in yer dress again?” Honey asked.
“That seems to be her favorite,” Luna confirmed.
“Think that spell’d work on somepony mah size?” the earth mare inquired. “Ah wanna see what all the fuss is about.”
Luna beamed in excitement. “Certainly.”
“Only if I accompany you,” Silver interjected. “You are not as nimble as I am, so you may need some guidance on the proper protocol to covertly traverse the masterpiece that is Luna’s body,” she said while dramatically gesturing.
“Uh-huh,” deadpanned Honey. “‘N’ this ain’t jus’ an excuse ta try out some kinky plan yer devious li’l brain’s been cookin’ up fer weeks, is it?”
Silver blinked and stoically stated, “You cannot prove anything.”
Thomas chuckled in appreciation for these mares just being themselves. “You guys are great.”
“Well, that much is obvious,” bragged Silver. “Although, I would like to hear more about how an alien from another world is telling unicorns how to do magic.”
Moonlight rolled her eyes before giving a quick summation of Subtle’s lesson. “She’s just encouraging us to think outside the box. Thomas isn’t directly telling anypony what to do.”
“I kinda wanna hear the story about the airbender,” Surprise chimed in. “That wind ball you stand on sounds pretty cool. I wonder if there’s a way I could do that.” She then looked at her spread wings and experimentally flapped them. “That’d be so cool.”
“Wait, what about the rule on no magic?” Moonlight reminded and looked at Luna. “You always use a memory charm to help Thomas remember the little details.”
“Feelgood said no new magic,” Surprise corrected. “The memory charm isn’t new.”
Seeing that Moonlight was not persuaded, Thomas thought up a compromise. “Is there a way to do a light version? In the show, bending is based on different styles of martial arts. There’s no way I can remember those moves off the top of my head. If you want to see them, it’ll have to be in my dreams.”
“I think that may be for the best,” Luna agreed. “Dreams take place in a deeper level of the mind, closer to where memories are stored. An expert in lucid dreaming could easily navigate the clutter and help you recall with perfect clarity,” she lightly boasted. “If need be, I can use a more mild charm there to greater effect. Until then, I agree with Moonlight’s caution. We should refrain from higher tiered spells until we better understand your condition.”
“Yeah, that seems reasonable,” agreed Thomas. His mares were being overprotective, but only mildly so. Humans would probably take similar precautions if this were an earthly malady.
“Alright, but even if ya can’t do the moves right now, Ah’d still like ta hear the story,” Honey spoke up. “That stuff you was sayin’ earlier got me all excited.” Honey then glanced at Surprise’s still flapping wings and added, “Any chance there’s something fer an earth pony ta learn?”
Thomas smiled indulgently. “If you’ll recall, I mentioned there’s earthbending.”
Honey took an urgent forward. “Well, what the buck ‘r’ ya waitin’ fer? Quit yammerin’ ‘n’ get ta story tellin’.”
Still grinning, Thomas acquiesced and hopped off of Luna’s lap. He walked a short distance from the bed as the mares huddled together. Somehow, Moonlight wound up lying across everyone’s laps with her head resting on Silver’s thighs. “Truly, the oppression of us shorties is without limit,” Thomas bemoaned as the unicorn made herself comfortable.
“They think this is for our own good, but they do not know our pain,” agreed Silver as she massaged Moonlight’s ears.
Honey derisively snorted as she gently caressed Moonlight’s hooves. “What do Ah gotta do ta get oppressed like this?”
“You have to be small and cute,” Luna informed as she rubbed Moonlight’s belly. “Unfortunately, by most ponies’ standards, you are big and sexy. Therefore, you are not entitled to oppression.”
Honey grunted in frustration and snapped her fingers. “Rats!”
“Hey, she’s right,” agreed Surprise. “I wanna be oppressed, too. Thomas, as soon as we’re done here, you need to oppress me,” she said while indicating the brush.
“Uh, sure. I think I can do that,” Thomas allowed. “Now, if there was anything else you wanted to—”
*Knock-Knock-Knock*
Thomas faced the door. “Who is it?”
“Room service,” called a familiar voice. “Someone ordered a”—she paused as if reading something—“a super sexy griffon to liven things up cuz your lives are so dull without her.”
Thomas smiled flatly and turned to the others. “You guys order one of those?”
“E’nope.”
“I do not think so.”
“Not me.”
“I would never.”
“Unless she’s extra spicy and covered with cream, I don’t want her.”
Thomas nodded and turned to the door. “Sorry, we don’t want any. Send her back.”
“Look, pal,” the female said in dramatic annoyance. “I spent all day prepping this order, getting it nice and ready for, and I quote, a bunch of dorks who need some excitement in their lives. Now, let me in, or I’ll track you down and give ya such a pinch.”
Thomas snickered.
“Is she spicy with extra cream?” Surprise called more loudly this time.
“Uh, I think you guys are supposed to give your own cream, preferably from a specialized magic wand.”
“Okay, we’re stretching things enough as is.” Tired of the game, Thomas opened the door, only to be scooped up by a familiar griffon, and held bridal style.
“Miss me?” Talon asked while rubbing her beak against Thomas’ cheek.
“Good to see you,” Thomas replied while hugging her neck.
The griffon turned her avian eye on the others. “Did I interrupt something? Tell me it’s an orgy.”
“Even better,” Surprise chirped. “Thomas was just about to start storytime. Afterward, the little guys are gonna oppress us big guys,” she giddily explained.
“As we deserve,” Honey added.
Luna extended her hand in invitation. “Would you care to join us?”
Talon clicked her beak in contemplation. “Ya know, I was worried I’d be too late. Turns out I have excellent timing.” She set Thomas on his feet and flapped twice to settle down beside Honey. “I’m guessing the doctor’s visit went alright. Sorry again for not making it.”
“It’s cool, and we’ll tell you later,” Thomas assured. “Now, let’s start a story that may potentially revolutionize how ponies use magic in combat.”
“Okay, sensing missing context here,” Talon observed as she nodded and joined Honey in messing with Moonlight’s hooves. “Go on.”
And so it went that Thomas told the tale of Avatar: The Last Airbender. Without the memory charm, it was a bit of a struggle to get all the details. However, he did his best. “So, episode one starts out with these two teens on a boat in the arctic. They’ve got darker skin and thick blue coats. There’s ice everywhere. The brother, Sokka, is at the boat’s front trying to fish with a bone spear. At the back, Katara is waving her hands over the water.” Thomas tried to mimic the pushing motion. “She keeps it up until it starts to make ripples.”
“Wait, is her hand in the water or over it?” inquired Talon.
“Over. This scene introduces the world’s magic to the audience, so I should get to your questions soon,” Thomas explained.
“Ah, cool,” Talon allowed.
“Anyway, she keeps up the motions until she levitates a ball of water with a fish inside. She’s holding it like this, with her hands a full foot from the water,” the human explained while miming. “She’s so excited that she doesn’t see that Sokka’s about to catch a fish the traditional way. They’re both so wrapped up in their own thing that, just as Katara brings the water over Sokka’s head, he brings his spear back and pops the bubble. Sokka is drenched, and Katara’s fish slaps him before hopping back in the water.”
“Hehe, I think I’m starting to notice the pattern,” Surprise said. “I could almost feel that was gonna happen.”
“So, Sokka is understandably mad. He says, ‘Why is it that every time you play with magic water, I get soaked?’ Katara says that it isn’t magic; it’s waterbending. But he’s heard this before. It’s an ancient art unique to their culture, but Sokka just doesn’t care. However, before they can get too into it, their boat gets caught up in a current full of ice sheets. One wrong move and they could get crushed. Unfortunately, they don’t react quickly enough and their boat doesn’t make it. Now, they’re stuck out on an ice sheet with no way to get home.
“Naturally, this only heightens tensions, and Sokka makes some remark about how he should have known better than to bring a girl along for a man’s job, which pisses her off. You get the feeling that Katara’s been letting this build for a while, because she just unloads on the guy,” Thomas explained with a fond grin. “She just goes on and on about his bad attitude, how he goes off to play soldier while she’s stuck with the chores, and especially his socks. Apparently, his socks are reeeally nasty,” he recounted to his audience’s amusement. “However, Katara’s so caught up with her rant that she doesn’t realize what she’s doing. She’s making these big, wild gestures that are causing the iceberg behind her to crack.”
“She’s casting unintentionally?” questioned Moonlight.
“Bending is based on martial arts, which is all about movement. You take a certain action to control an element in a certain way. Take earthbending, for instance,” Thomas continued, noting Honey’s perked ears. “You might stomp your foot on the ground like this”—he demonstrated—“which causes a large boulder to fly up and hover just in front of you. The earthbender then kicks it at anybody who pissed him off. Even if you’re not strong enough to lift the boulder with brute force, the power of bending gives you a workaround. It’s like projecting and amplifying your strength into whatever you’re manipulating. So, if you’re a bender, and you start making these big and powerful slashing motions, you’d better be sure that you’re nowhere near your element.
“Anyway, Sokka’s trying to warn her, but Katara isn’t listening. She keeps going until the iceberg shatters. The force is so powerful that it almost capsizes their tiny ice sheet. Katara, understandably, is pretty amazed at what she did, but her brother is still annoyed, but at least they’ve both calmed down a little. A second later, and there’s a blue glow in the water. Bubbles come up, followed by another iceberg that’s a bit too spherical to be natural,” Thomas suspiciously explained, watching as the ladies’ faces contorted in thought. Who needs reaction videos when I’ve got anthropomorphized magical creatures? “Anyway, Katara sees that there’s someone trapped in the ice. More importantly, this someone opens his glowing eyes, so she takes Sokka’s club and starts bashing the ice to get him out.”
“Does it explode?” Honey asked. “Ah bet the ice explodes.”
“Never free a glowing creature from an obvious prison,” Luna advised. “I do not see this ending well for them.”
“Sokka would agree,” Thomas added. “Anyway, Katara starts beating the club into the ice, but it’s pretty clear that this could take hours.”
“Why does she not waterbend the ice?” inquired Silver. “Ice is a type of water, yes?”
Thomas nodded. “True, but Katara’s still a novice. Getting the fish was her biggest accomplishment, and the first iceberg was an accident. Anyway, she only gets a few more hits in before the iceberg starts to crack. The ball splits in two as a giant light beam shoots out into the sky. It actually parts the clouds, so it’s more like an energy blast than just a light. Nearby animals start crying out in alarm as the beam can be seen for miles. Unfortunately, one group that sees it is on a big, black, metallic ship. It’s belching smoke, and the music suddenly turns ominous, indicating these are the bad guys. Standing on the ship’s front is a teenager in red armor. He’s bald except for his ponytail, and he’s got a nasty burn scar over his left eye. He turns to an old man sitting at a table and drinking tea. That’s his uncle. The teenager, Prince Zuko, says that it has to be ‘him.’ He says it all dramatic like that. However, his uncle isn’t so certain. Apparently, they’ve gotten their hopes up over nothing before, so the uncle just wants them to sit down and enjoy some tea. However, Zuko is determined to capture the Avatar.”
“Title drop!” Surprise announced.
Thomas nodded. “Yup. Anyway, back with the kids. Sokka’s covering Katara with his body after that blast. He’s got his spear ready to defend against whatever comes out.”
“Quick thinking and very brave,” Luna praised.
“And out comes a boy. I think he’s supposed to be twelve. His body is glowing a soft blue, while his eyes and the arrow tattoo on his head are bright white. He climbs to the edge of the ice and looms menacingly over the siblings. The music is all dramatic, like some great and powerful force has been unleashed upon an unsuspecting world,” Thomas explained with extra flare. “Then the glowing stops and the boy tumbles down the ice. Katara goes to grab him. The kid’s pretty exhausted from whatever that was he just went through. Katara cradles him with maternal concern, but Sokka keeps his distance and starts poking the boy’s bald head with the non-sharp end of his spear.”
“You claim that Sokka has a bad attitude, yet he’s had the most practical reactions thus far,” Luna noted. “Although, the wiser move would be to hold the spear to the boy’s neck until you confirm that he is not dangerous.”
“Anyway, Katara gets him to stop as the boy stirs awake. His voice sounds pretty weak as he says he needs to ask Katara something. She asks what. And suddenly, he sounds a lot more upbeat as he asks, ‘Will you go penguin sledding with me?’”
“Favorite character! Calling it now,” Surprise announced. “She’d better say yes.”
“Katara confusedly says ‘sure.’ Then, there’s a burst of air that pushes the boy out of Katara’s arms, and he floats for a second before getting on his feet. Sokka asks the obvious questions, like how the boy got in the ice and why isn’t he frozen. They then hear a deep, beastly grumble from the other side of what’s left of the iceberg. The boy excitedly runs over and hugs the animal. His name is Appa. He’s a little shorter than an elephant with a longer body that’s more like a beaver, especially the flat tail, white fur except for the gray arrow-shaped stripe on his head, six legs, a flat cow-like face, a saddle, and his face is almost as big as the mattress,” Thomas finished by indicating the royal bed.
“What kind of fur?” Moonlight asked, her eyebrow raised in intrigue.
“The fluffy kind. Toys of this guy were super popular,” Thomas answered. “So, as Aang—that’s his name, by the way—tries to wake Appa up, the sky bison finally licks him, which Aang is happy about.”
“Sky bison? As in… a bison… that’s in the sky?” Honey asked.
“Yup.”
“Ah think Ah want that.”
“Most people do, but Sokka isn’t one of them. He just sees an unknown animal that’s as big as a small whale, so he keeps himself and his sister at a safe distance. He’s also skeptical when Aang calls it his flying bison.”
“Sokka is my favorite,” Luna informed. “The colt has a good head on his shoulders.”
“He’s also the comic relief,” Thomas added. “Appa sneezes and covers him in green snot. Sokka is so grossed out that he starts rubbing himself on the ice to get it off.”
Luna narrowed her eyes on Thomas. “I feel like you did that on purpose.”
“I may or may not have,” Thomas admitted. “So, Sokka gets over it quickly enough, and remembers that this kid is still a stranger. He thinks the light may have signaled the Fire navy. Katara sarcastically says, ‘He’s obviously a spy for the Fire navy. You can tell by the eeevil look in his eye.’ Which Aang responds to with a cheerful smile.”
“Isn’t that exactly how a good spy would react, though?” asked Moonlight.
“True, but Aang proves he’s got nothing to do with the Fire Nation when he sneezes and flies ten feet in the air. I think that’s also when he finally introduces himself. Katara realizes that he’s an airbender, but Sokka’s had enough weirdness for one day and is ready to go home. Unfortunately, he remembers that they still don’t have a boat. Aang says they can use his flying bison, which happens to have a saddle bigger than their old boat. However, Appa is too tired to fly, but he can still swim. Katara also catches Aang staring at her.”
“What are their ages?” asked Talon.
“Aang’s twelve, and I think Katara’s, like, fourteen, so it’s nothing weird,” Thomas assured.
“In that case,” Talon wolf-whistled. “Go for it, kiddo! Get that preteen equivalent of tail.”
“That is highly inappropriate,” chided Silver.
“It’s also young love, which is innately adorable, and I dare you to say otherwise,” Talon challenged.
Silver merely exhaled her defeat and went back to petting Moonlight.
“Meanwhile, back with Zuko, Uncle Iroh is trying to get him to rest for the night, but also be realistic. Even if the Avatar is alive, Zuko won’t find him. Everyone in their family line has tried to find the Avatar, going back generations, but they all failed. Zuko just says that their honor wasn’t at stake. He’s a man on a mission, and he won’t fail.”
“Dangerous singlemindedness,” Luna assessed.
“We cut back to Aang and the gang who are just chilling as Appa swims. Katara asks that since Aang is an airbender, if he knows what happened to the Avatar.”
“Isn’t that obvious?” Moonlight chuckled. “You recently pulled him out of the ice with that big light show.”
“Unless glowing like that is normal in this world,” corrected Silver.
“It isn’t,” Thomas stated. “In fact, Aang gets evasive, saying he never met the guy. Katara accepts this and goes to sleep on the saddle for the night while Aang rests on Appa’s fuzzy head. Then there’s a nightmare flashback of Aang and Appa falling in the water in the middle of a storm. Aang almost loses consciousness, glowing happens, and he seals them both in an iceberg he made on the spot.”
“It sounds as though the Avatar, while powerful, is not in full control of his abilities,” Luna observed. “What you described is more of a reflex than a willing act.”
“Ah thought the kid was a monster who needed spears pointed at ‘im,” Honey reminded with a wry grin.
“Based on the information at the time, Sokka’s responses were all correct,” Luna defended. “That is still true. However, given new information, I would still advise caution. Power without control is dangerous, no matter how benign the user’s intent may be.”
“Anyone ever notice how we’re, like, the chattiest audience ever?” Surprise chirped.
“Nah, it’s fine,” Thomas assured. “It’s fun to watch you guys react to stuff.”
“Then get on with the story,” urged Talon. “When do Aang and Katara start makin’ out?”
“Season three.”
Talon snapped her talons. “Dammit.”
Thomas waited until the peanut gallery finished their chatter before resuming. “So, Aang wakes up in a tent back at the village. Katara sees him without his shirt—”
Talon whistled.
“Not like that. She sees he’s got blue arrows tattooed down his limbs and over his head.” Thomas traced the lines over his body for accuracy. “She then brings him out to the village to meet everyone. Not counting the children, that’s, like, ten people. It’s a small camp with tents surrounded by a wall of snow. Katara introduces Aang to the entire village, who are all wary of him. Aang asks why, and Katara and Sokka’s grandmother says that no one has seen an airbender in a hundred years and that they’re assumed extinct. That’s a pretty heavy revelation that Aang doesn’t fully process for another couple of episodes. Luckily, Aang’s a whimsical kid who’s pretty good at coming up with distractions. He’s got a staff that unfolds into a glider, which he bends the air around to make him fly. Sokka asserts that humans can’t fly, and Aang immediately proves him wrong.”
“Okay, you are definitely doing this on purpose,” Luna accused. “You took the most logical character, my favorite, and made him a fool.”
“Hey, don’t blame me,” Thomas dissuaded. “Blame the plot.”
“Who’s plot?” Surprise snickered.
“THE plot,” Thomas dramatically asserted. “Anyway, as the narrator was trying to think of ways to stop saying ‘anyway’ so much, Aang was being a showboat. He’s so pleased with himself that he’s not looking where he’s going and slams into a watchtower made of snow. He wrecks it, much to Sokka’s sorrow. Sokka says that since they’re both benders, Aang and his sister can waste time all day. Aang’s impressed that Katara’s a waterbender, but she says that she isn’t really, not yet. She’s still got a lot to learn, and she doesn’t want to be credited for doing anything big.”
“Sounds familiar,” Moonlight stated while looking pointedly at Thomas.
“Anyway, as the narrator fails in his self-appointed task, Katara’s grandmother pulls her aside to start the day’s chores. Katara’s excited to meet someone who can finally teach her waterbending, which I’m assuming you all realize is a little sad.” Thomas waited for everyone to nod. “And as Aang plays with the kids, Zuko trains on the ship. His guards are all in full armor with white masks as they throw fire at each other. However, Iroh isn’t pleased. He tries to educate his nephew how firebending is supposed to work, that it’s all about the breath and not the muscles. However, Zuko isn’t too patient. He argues that he’s wasting time learning the fundamentals while the Avatar has had a hundred years to master all four elements.”
Honey raised her hand. “Question. Is the Avatar s’posed ta save the world?”
“Yup.”
“Well, they’re screwed.”
Thomas shrugged and waved his hands as though weighing something. “Kinda. He gets better, but that isn’t for a while. In the meantime, Zuko is demanding to learn more advanced skills to deal with the presumably more powerful opponent. And back at the water village, Sokka is doing his best to train the village’s young boys into future warriors. He and Katara are the only teens. Everyone else is women, children, or the elderly. Aang is busy having fun, which the kids are more interested in. Now, he could ask about the village’s demographic issue or what Sokka meant by the war, but the easily distracted airbender sees a ‘Penguiiin!’ and immediately takes off after it.”
“I knew Aang would be my favorite,” Surprise said with a giggle.
“Now, the thing about animals in the Avatar world is that they’re all fusions. Wolf-bats, badger-moles, otter-penguins, and so on. We never see what a tiger-shark looks like, but I can only assume that it’s terrifying. There’s also, like, five different kinds of bear, and a regular bear is considered weird.”
“I think you just described Fluttershy’s wet dream,” Talon offered.
“So, Katara follows Aang to the penguin colony, but he’s not having much luck grabbing any. She offers to show him how to catch one if he agrees to teach her waterbending, but he can’t, for reasons that should be obvious. He asks why can’t she learn from anyone in the village, and she says she’s the only waterbender in the whole South Pole. Aang asks about the other Water Tribe in the North Pole. Unfortunately, the tribes haven’t had any contact in a while. Plus, it’s pretty far away. Aang reminds Katara about his flying bison, but she’s hesitant about leaving home. In the meantime, they finally get to catching penguins. The key is fish. Honestly, riding a penguin down a steep hill is pretty much as fun as it sounds, and both of them have a blast. However, the fun ends when they come upon a Fire ship lifted above the ground and partially encased in ice.”
“Clever of the waterbenders to make their home on solid water,” Luna observed. “However, by that logic, wouldn’t the earthbenders be the single most powerful group? Any land they settle on can be used against their enemies.”
“The Fire Nation has been making slow progress against the Earth Kingdom for about a hundred years,” Thomas explained. “However, as the ship hints at, the Fire Nation has the advantage of industrialization. Also, I think there’s something about each element affecting its nation’s culture. Generally, earth just sits there and doesn’t really move much. It can endure just about anything, but that’s it. Fire’s nature is to spread and consume everything, so the Fire Nation has had a lot of success taking gradual bites out of the Earth Kingdom. Water is fluid and adaptable, not to mention fire’s natural opposite. The only reason the South Pole is in this state is because they’re so much smaller than their northern cousins. It’s pretty much the same strategy of the Fire Nation taking a bunch of small victories to whittle their enemies down through attrition. And air, well, they’re all about freedom and are generally pacifists. They never stood a chance, especially when the Fire Nation used a thing that I won’t spoil.”
“Tease,” Surprise whined.
“Yes, and?”
“No and. I just want to make sure we all understand that you’re a teasing meanie pants, and you should feel very ashamed of yourself,” Surprise ranted with a friendly grin.
“Well, I’m not. I’m kinda proud of that, actually,” Thomas said with his chin held high. “It’s like making a hook to draw in the audience for future events. Like, all that stuff I just spelled out, it’s never really explicitly said like that, at least not all at once. One of the things the show was praised for was its narrative storytelling. Like, in season two, when we finally learn about earthbending philosophy, the audience can pick up that this mindset is much better for defending than attacking. And based on everything we’d seen up until this point, the Earth Kingdom is always fighting a defensive war without ever really attacking. The writers trust the audience to pick up the clues. As opposed to me. I’m just a blowhard.”
“I’m inclined to agree,” Luna said. “This story will indeed be useful in shaking up the status quo. And you are also a blowhard,” she added with a wry grin. “Now, on with the ship.”
Thomas nodded. Even if these weren’t his original ideas, he reasoned that there was no harm in being a little proud of his contribution. “Anyway, Katara wants to stay away from the ship, but Aang tells her that benders have to let go of fear and marches in. Katara reluctantly accepts this, and they find a crack in the lower hull. They explore, and it’s super creepy. Katara mentions that this ship was part of the Fire Nation’s first attack, and Aang finally starts wanting answers. He’s got friends all over the world, including the Fire Nation, and he’s never seen any war. He thinks he’s only been frozen for a few days, but it was probably closer to a hundred years. That’s how long the war’s been going on. This revelation hits him hard, and he’s just gotta sit down to process it all. When Katara tries to help him see a bright side to all this, Aang says that he got to meet her.”
“You said season three,” recalled Talon. “Yeah, that’s not gonna work for me. Make them start making out sooner.”
“You are so impatient,” Moonlight lightly chided.
“Yeah, and?”
“I also vote to advance the romance,” Silver added. “If these were ponies, and a colt said such things to me at that age, I know that I would kiss him before too long.”
“Same, but Ah kinda like taken it slow,” Honey countered. “Give things time ta build up naturally. Unless the romance is the point ‘f the story, it’s best not ta force it ‘n’ just let things happen in their own time.”
“That’s called a slow burn,” Thomas pointed out. “And you’re right. Avatar is more about exploring the fantastic world, cool fights, and comedy. The romance is, at best, a C or a D plot.” He then pointed in accusation at Surprise. “Don’t.”
“What? I wasn’t gonna say anything,” the white mare denied with unconvincing innocence. “Although, if we’re gonna label plots…”
“I said no!”
Surprise puttered her lips in disappointment. “Fine. In that case, I vote on a compromise. Can we push the lovey-dovey stuff to season two? These two sound so cute together.”
“We’re going to watch the full series in his dreams,” Moonlight reminded. “After that, we could try altering the story to better appeal to a pony audience.”
“Does it need to be changed?” Thomas questioned. “It seems to hold a pretty strong appeal as it is,” he said while motioning to the ladies.
“You bring up an interesting point,” Luna said while looking at Moonlight. “‘Tia and I agreed to make changes to the wizard’s duel to avoid distracting audiences with the minor details of humans casting magic. Perhaps we could take things to the next level with this story.”
“That’s a great idea,” Talon cheerfully encouraged with a broad grin. “I know that because I’m totally clued in on everything, and you guys aren’t just leaving me over here to stew without any context.”
“We can tell ya everythin’ later,” Honey huffed in annoyance. “Right now, Ah wanna finish the story. Ah get the feelin’ somethin’ bad’s buildin’ up.”
“Also, the oppression,” reminded Surprise. “You owe us some oppression.”
“Yeah, okay. The episode’s almost over, and you’re right,” Thomas said to Honey. “The pair keep exploring until they come to the ship’s bridge. Aang triggers a tripwire buried in the snow that locks them in and also sends off a signal flare. Luckily, there’s a hole in the roof that Aang can carry Katara out of. Unluckily, Zuko was looking their way because of the flare, so he sees the obvious airbender, even if at a distance. Zuko tells his uncle that he’s found the Avatar, and also his hiding place while looking at the village. And that’s the end of part one.”
Surprise threw her hands up in the air in anguish. “Nooo!”
Honey chuckled. “Yeah, that’s how ya end the first part ‘f a story.”
“I do not see the point. Why end there when the story clearly is not finished?” Silver asked.
“The series opener is a two-parter. That’s kind of an example of a slow burn. So much time is spent just being with the characters and getting small glimpses of the world instead of jumping straight into the action. There’s so much story that the episode ran long, so they had to split it into two parts. It might not translate when I just tell it, but there’s a lot of quiet moments that build tension and atmosphere. Not to mention the music, and there’s just so much you miss by not watching the original,” Thomas stressed. “Although, while I can kind of see the changes necessary for the duel, I’m not really seeing the same for this. Do ponies really need to look at other ponies to get things like fighting techniques and philosophy?”
“If I’m following right, it couldn’t hurt,” Talon chipped in. “Folks tend to listen to folks who look like them. That’s just how it goes, chimp. Especially if we’re talking about the snooty elites, who run everything.”
“Sad, but true,” Moonlight confirmed. “Although, Thomas is right. Should there be changes to things like music and atmosphere? That just seems excessive if all we need are the fights and philosophies.”
“I’m not talking about the fights,” Surprise corrected. “I just want to make the story better by getting these obvious special someponies together sooner. I hate all that wishy-washy will-they-won’t-they stuff. If two ponies would obviously be good together, then just get together.”
Thomas thoughtfully hummed. “Well, since we’re gonna watch the whole thing anyway”—his eyes fell on Moonlight—“I guess there’s no harm in subjecting our friends to our fanfiction.”
Moonlight’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Wait, what about our other book?”
Thomas shrugged. “We keep running into writer’s block lately. It’s probably a good idea to take a break with something different. Try experimenting with a whole new tone and genre. The story’s already written for us, so we’re just writing our version of things slightly changed. Now that I think about it, writing Aang and Katara as if they were ponies might be a neat experiment.”
“Wait, what kind of ponies?” Silver asked. “Should Aang be a pegasus because of his air powers?”
“This is a human story, and they don’t have pony tribes. They have skin color.” Moonlight looked at Thomas for confirmation.
“Yeah. That was something the creators were pretty specific about,” Thomas informed. “The four nations were all based on real-world ethnic groups.” He trailed off in thought. “So, I guess that’d translate to everyone is an earth pony, but the tribes are all the same color?”
Honey pulled up her lip in disgust. “Makin’ everypony an earth pony sounds neat, but havin’ them all the same color? That’s just gross. Sounds like inbreedin’ ta me.”
“Uuugh!” groaned Surprise. “Why do you ponies keep getting distracted by the little things? The point is I wanna see young love blossom in a war-torn world.”
“Doesn’t sound gross to me,” Talon interjected. “In fact, I think it’s pretty cool.”
“Agreed,” Silver added.
“What about you, Moonbutt?” Honey asked. “We haven’t heard yer take on things. Tell me ya’ve got more sense ‘en the rest of ‘em.”
Luna smiled apologetically. “Sorry, but I’m inclined toward a quicker pace. Personally, I still find it rather odd how so many ponies wait so long to herd. Life is short enough, so why not spend as much time as possible with your special somepony?”
“You guys got terrible priorities,” Honey huffed.
“Well, you heard the filly.” Talon clapped her talons as though summoning a servant. “Get to it, writing monkeys.”
“Yes!” Surprise cheered. “Wait, no. We gotta do the oppression first.”