“This is nice,” Silver said as the updraft from the mountains held her aloft. The night air was nice and cool as it blew across her bristling fur. The air currents up there made her flying senses tingle in a way she hadn’t felt for some time. It all felt pleasant to just stretch her wings out without the need of extra flapping. “I hardly ever go out flying just for the sake of it anymore!” she cheered into the roaring skies.

“Same.” Feeling a little bold, Surprise elected to do a barrel roll next to her wing pony. It cost her a bit of altitude, making her drop more than a dozen meters in just a few seconds, but a few strong flaps were enough to catch back up and the two mares shared a laugh. “Think we might be catching earth pony?”

Silver quirked her brow at the odd phrase.

“It means we’re getting too used to walking.”

“Ah,” Silver replied in amused understanding. “So what does it mean to catch unicorn?”

“Either you’ve got some spare rope, or you’re in love with the smell of your own farts.” The pair shared another laugh at that. “Although personally I’d prefer the rope. We can swoop in like birds of prey, snatch up the unsuspecting ground walkers, and take them back to our evil lairs to commit unspeakable acts upon them! Mwahahaha!”

Silver gasped in shock from Surprise’s remark. How could her friend say something so… uncouth? “We have lairs? No pony told me that.” Her tone was a nearly petulant whine.

“Ugh. They’re in the clouds, silly,” Surprise said as though it were obvious. “We’re fliers, so any random cloud can be our evil lair.”

Silver snorted. “So you mean to tell me that I’ve not only had an evil lair all my life, but I have to share it too?”

“Well you don’t have to share. It’s more of a communal property thing, but we can get you a private little cloud of your very own if you want.”

“Actually, I think I’d like to share, but only for starters. I’ve never managed an evil lair before and I need somepony experienced to show me how things are done.”

“It’d be my pleasure,” Surprise beamed.

“For one thing, how do we keep the ponies we’ve kidnapped from getting away?”

“With the rope, remember?”

“No, I get that part. I am quite confident in the knots I’ve been practicing on Luna.” Through no fault of her own, Silver’s mind took a brief detour to recall her last session with the ropes. She’d improved considerably in tightening the binds around the breasts and lower regions without digging too much into the skin. Just the memory was almost enough to make a mare drool, but that was neither here nor there. “But, what happens once we get them on the cloud? How can we do unspeakable things if all of our time is spent keeping our captives from falling?” She’d already guessed a few answers, but wanted to hear Surprise’s take first.

“Oh Silver,” Surprise sighed, placing a hand sympathetically on the bat’s shoulder as they glided together. “Poor, innocent, naïve little Silver. I said that all clouds are the evil lairs for us fliers. It’s not like there are specialized construction clouds that wingless ponies can walk on all safely. All clouds, without exception, are potential hide-aways for us evil winged ponies to carry out our dastardly deeds.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Silver allowed, finding it hard to keep the smile off her face. “I never knew having wings would grant me access to so many resources of evil.”

Surprise cleared her throat.

“Oh, sorry. I meant eeevilll!” Silver wrung her hands together as evilly as ponily possible.

Surprise shrugged. “We’ll work on it. For right now, I should probably start your lessons on how a proper evil mare conducts herself.”

Silver felt her chest tightening with excitement. Initially she’d thought that Surprise just wanted to go for a fly, but this sounded much more fun. “Teach me, master.”

“First off, that’s ‘mistress’ to you!” Surprise commanded.

“I probably should have seen that coming.”

“You really should have,” Surprise agreed, speaking normally before resuming her alter ego as the mistress; at least until she thought of a better name. “Anyway, I think the first lesson we should try is stealth.”

“We’re already pretty high up,” Silver noted. The city below sparkled with lights of every sort as ponies scurried about the streets, looking little different from insects at this height. Actually, that’s not bad. “They look like tiny, insignificant bugs from up here! He-he-heee!”

“Much better, but you’re right. At this elevation, ain’t got no pony to worry about but our fellow fliers. But we’re all inducted at birth into a wing supremacy cult, so it’s fine.”

Silver blinked. “You… actually heard that from somepony?” Fun and games was one thing, but it boggled the mind to think that there might actually be tribalists out there with views that absurd.

“Only in good company,” Surprise replied, assuring her friend that if such mentally deficient bigots existed, at least she hadn’t had the misfortune of meeting them. “Anyway, we might be safe at hiding from a distance, but that’s not really stealth.” It seemed important to get Silver’s mind off of such unpleasant thoughts by resuming the game as quickly as possible. “Stealth is all about getting in as close as possible without being seen.”

“Then it would appear that the advantage is mine.” Silver gave her wings an extra powerful flap for emphasis. “My fur is darker, which makes me harder to spot at night.”

“Not in a city with as many lights as Canterlot,” Surprise countered. “Maybe in a place like Ponyville you’d be able to sneak up on unsuspecting ponies to your heart’s content, but things are a lot trickier here.”

“You’re one to talk,” Silver scoffed. “With fur like that, you could only stay camouflaged in a snow storm, which would obscure your presence anyway, so it’s a little redundant.”

“There’s more to camouflage than just color, my evil apprentice. Slipping unseen into a crowd also works. So long as the target doesn’t suspect you until it’s too late, it counts as stealth.”

“Okay. Example?”

“Hi there, friend. My name is Fake Name,” Surprised chirped merrily. “Would you like to buy a timeshare for a room in Canterlot Castle? You would? Oh goody. But wait,” she paused to pat herself down. “Where’s my clipboard. Silly me.” She face palmed. “I must have left it in that dark and foreboding alleyway where no pony can see us. Come on. Follow me and we’ll get you all signed up.”

“… Sneaky,” Silver eventually praised. “But I would not exactly call that stealth. A fine example of subterfuge: yes. But not stealth. If there are any other ponies hiding in the alley, they would be the stealthy ones, but not the pony acting as the front.”

Surprise clucked her tongue thoughtfully. “I guess that makes sense.”

“When I think ‘stealth’, I picture a pony blending into their surroundings. They spy their target and make a careful approach.”

“Like a total creep,” Surprise giggled.

Silver nodded. “Exactly. The creep becomes stealthy by getting in close without being noticed. I guess that could be done by either inching your way slowly, or swooping down so no pony has time to see what happened.”

“Excellent observation,” Surprise praised.

“Now that I think about it, I’m not sure either option is even possible without a partner,” Silver added. “I’m not sure I could even lift up something like Thomas without help; at least not for very long.”

“Another excellent observation!” Surprise then stroked her chin while melodramatically humming. “So maybe we do the alley thing, but you’re the front and I’m the one who hides.”

Silver chuckled with an incredulous grin. “And where, pray tell, do you plan to hide? More importantly, how? You are not exactly…” She trailed off while gesturing along the white mare’s body.

“Yeah, I guess,” Surprise huffed dejectedly. “I mean, you could probably fit in most overhead compartments. A shame the rest of us aren’t so lucky.”

Silver narrowed her eyes dangerously upon her friend while maintaining a grin. “As opposed to you, who could probably fit an entire cage between those udders of yours.”

Surprise’s eyes went wide. “You really think so?”

Silver blinked, regretting her words. “Well, I suppose if it was folded up first.”

“Not like Luna’s, though. She could probably hide an entire battalion in her teats.”

Silver chuckled. “At least!”

“So would that mean Celestia would be able to hide two or three battalions?”

Silver gave this question its due consideration. “Just to be safe, I would say three.”

“Yeah. Me too. But I think we’ve gotten a little off topic.”

“Oh right. We were planning evil.”

“Yappers! We were planning on sneaking up on unsuspecting ponies to snatch ‘em up.”

“But I’m still a novice at this. Should we not start with something small and work our way up? Like purses.”

“Or kittens out of a tree.”

“… How is that evil?”

“It’s more like practice,” Surprise explained. “A cat stuck up a tree gets all kinds of stressed real quick. Any stranger who approaches had better be wearing gloves at the very least.”

“Experience?”

Surprise shuddered. “It was like a piranha with fur. Also I’m pretty sure it swore at me after I put it down.”

“You understand animals?” Silver asked. Understanding animals wasn’t unheard of, but it was a gift primarily restricted to those with animal related cutie marks.

“I don’t speak the language, but some things are pretty obvious from context.”

Silver nodded her acceptance. “Fair enough. So what about the evil?”

“We could grab a cloud and rain on somepony’s flower garden!”

“And… how is that evil?”

“Well, that pony might get all excited about tending the garden they’ve taken great pains to maintain over the years. At first it was tricky and a bit of a chore, but now it’s like the highlight of the day. No worries or obligations. Just a pony and their flowers, all nice and peaceful. Then boom! Soil’s wet even though there was no rain scheduled. We’ve just robbed a pony of their relaxation because they don’t want to overwater.” Sinisterly she pressed her palms together while tapping her finger tips and growled, “The perfect crime.”

Silver smiled. “And what if there are witnesses?”

Surprise paused, clearly having not considered such a variable. She thought on it a moment before brilliance struck. “I’ll act as the decoy and get everypony’s attention. I can do a little dance or something. That’s when you sneak up for the evil flower watering of evilness.”

“I’m liking this plan. But…”

“Yeah?”

“I thought we just established that neither of us knows how to do stealth properly.”

Surprise promptly face palmed. “Shoot, you’re right!”

“Isn’t there a place we could go to practice? Certainly the evil cabal of winged ponies would be willing to train new members.”

“Yeah, not really. See, you didn’t know about clouds as evil lairs, which is just common sense. That says to me that you probably haven’t been paying your membership fees.”

“There are fees now!?” Silver demanded, overcome with dramatic outrage.

“Oh yeah. Big buggers. You’re really supposed to sign up young so they can indoctrinate you early. If you try signing up now, they’ll probably charge you back pay for all the years you missed.”

“Well that just won’t do!” Silver huffed. “Evil is one thing, but that kind of business model is downright criminal. Charging ponies for a service they don’t even use,” she muttered bitterly. “We should sue.”

“Sue the secret cabal of evil winged ponies for their unethical business practices?”

“Exactly.”

“… I like it!”

Silver nodded happily.

“And it’s not like you’re the only pony who’s ever been screwed over by the cabal. We can start a letter writing campaign, get some signatures, and really build up a case to take those jerks down!” Surprise slammed her fist into her open palm.

Silver held up her hand in halting. “Hold on. I just thought of something.”

“What?”

“Is it a cabal or a cartel? We need to get our terminology right if we want to look like we know what we’re talking about for the lawsuit.”

“Oh good point. Let me think.” Surprise pondered loudly. “If I remember correctly, I think a cartel is more like a drug ring. They produce and sell stuff. A cabal is just a group of schemers. So I guess a cartel is a type of cabal, but the latter isn’t outright illegal. Anypony is technically allowed to scheme.”

“So long as they are not caught.”

“Well that goes without saying.”

“Which means the evil organization of winged ponies is a cabal. And since it’s technically not illegal, that should increase our chances of filing a lawsuit.”

“And really, isn’t that the greatest form of evil?” Surprise asked sweetly.

Silver slapped her hand over her muzzle and waited for her chortles to die down. “So we have a plan then. In order to avoid me paying the cabal their exorbitant back pay fees, we’re going to find an overpriced lawyer and pay them to help us sue the tribalist cabal dedicated to world domination and force them to revise their business practices.”

“I’m almost certain I read something this complicated in a comic once. It was a parody of one of those over-the-top spy thrillers with a villain twirling her moustache.”

“Her moustache?”

“Yeah. She came from a long line of great villains. There was this funny scene where she’s showing all their portraits, all with the same style of moustache – big and twirly – until finally it came to her. Her sister didn’t have a moustache, which is why she ended up joining the good guys by the end.”

“So… the key to villainy is the right kind of moustache?”

“That is what comic books taught me. Yes.”

“Then why don’t we just go to a unicorn barber and get moustaches of our own?”

“That… is a really good point. Why don’t we do that?”

“Don’t ask me. You’re the one whose supposed to be the expert in all things villainy. I’m just following your lead.”

“Nooo!” Surprise cried and buried her face into her palms. “I’ve failed as a master villain. How will I ever live down this shame?”

“You… could pay for both of our moustaches?” Silver offered.

“W-would that really be enough?”

“It’ll be like an investment into our new careers as villains. In fact, screw the cabal! We’ll start up an evil organization of our own, one with a code of ethics that actually appeals to our clients.”

“And we’ll be inclusive,” Surprise added, perking up. “I’ll bet the unicorn and earth pony cabals have a lot of unsatisfied customers of their own. If we can gather them all up, we can create an unstoppable force that’ll rock the criminal underworld to its knees!”

Silver started snapping her fingers while humming her discontent. “There’s a sex joke in there, somewhere. Get them on their knees and… and… make them submit?”

“Make ‘em choke on our muffs?”

Silver pursed her lips distastefully. “Maybe something more tasteful. We’ll workshop it. For now we should get those moustaches, which we knew all along were critical for our evil plans.”

“Yippeeeee!” Surprise cheered, leading the dive downwards with Silver at her five o’ clock.

It wasn’t hard for the pair to find a good selection of barbers. However, given that this was Canterlot, the city universally accepted to be run by uppity unicorns who sniffed their own farts, it was a bit trickier to find one that offered the specific services they sought. Even the less regal districts were of no help. And so the pair decided to rest their wings and search by hoof.

“I don’t get it!” Surprise groused. “There are spells to do everything and the kitchen sink with manes, tails, and fur, but not one pony knows a simple moustache spell.”

“Magic does not make sense, sometimes,” agreed Silver. “You remember that second place we went to?”

“The one that nearly blinded me with its neon pink?”

“Yes. I took a look at their catalogue and each style was its own unique spell. Why?” Silver demanded. “It’s all just hair growth, isn’t it? Why isn’t there just one spell for hair growth, and then you,” she reached out with her imaginary tools, “just style it as you grow select areas? It should be that simple.”

“Well, this is Canterlot. I’ll bet the select spells are just an excuse to jack up the prices.”

“Even so! This makes no sense. Hair is hair is hair!”

“Psst!”

Both mares paused and looked around.

“You two. I hear you’re looking for… a hair spell.”

The mares turned around to see a sketchy looking pony in a hood leaning out from an alley way.

“I’ve got some… hair spells, if you know what I mean.” The sketchy mare cackled. It was a slithery, slimy sound that gave all those who heard it a sudden feeling of uncleanliness. “Just come this way, and I’ll… show ya.”

The pegasus and bat pony stared flabbergasted at the sketchy mare in the cloak. The alarm bells in their heads were going off with such intensity that they ended up shorting out, along with other brain functions. Eventually the two were able to initiate a successful reboot and turn their disbelieving eyes on one another.

“This can’t be real,” Surprise whispered.

“It’s uncanny,” Silver agreed. “What are the odds we would be talking about alley ways, and then…?” She gestured at the sketchy mare.

“Hey! What are you two whispering about over there?” demanded the mare in the hood. “You better not be talking about me. It’s rude to talk about ponies you’re ignoring, ya know.”

“Can’t hear us, so she probably doesn’t have wings,” Surprise assessed.

“Excuse me,” Silver greeted. “Yes, hi. I noticed you seem to be lacking a horn.”

“What’re you? Some kind of tribalist?” the sketchy mare snapped, making Silver flinch involuntarily. “Ain’t just unicorns that can do magic ya know. Us earth ponies got our own… special ways.” The sketchy mare gave a smile that had likely never once seen a dentist, filled with gaps, cracked teeth, and a rainbow of shades of yellow. “Now do you want your hair spell, or do I need to take my services elsewhere?”

The off-duty concubines exchanged one last look, puzzling over what to do. It was then that Surprise saw an armored pony in Luna’s colors poking around a corner on the opposite side of the road. Grinning, the pegasus made a hand gesture that only the guard could see, which was returned. Surprise then gave a reassuring smile and wink to Silver, informing the mare that all was well.

“I’ll try your special hair spell first,” Surprise volunteered loudly. “My friend here can wait outside this alley,” she gestured, “while I get the treatment, or whatever it is you’re doing.”

“Um… okay,” the sketchy mare agreed and motioned her forward. “Come this way, my pretty. Ee-he-hee! Come, and experience the majesty of our top-of-the-line hair spells.”

“Thank you, miss,” Surprise accepted, maintaining her volume. “I’d be happy to follow you down this alley way and accept your services.”

“Not to complain, but do you have some kind of middle volume between shouting and whispering?” asked the sketchy mare. “It’s a little, well, distracting.”

“Is it a problem that I’m talking loudly as I go into this alley?” Surprise asked, still almost shouting.

The sketchy mare scowled under her hood. “Not for me, but you should know the guards who come around these parts aren’t shy about giving tickets for the slightest things. And your just asking for a ‘disruption of the peace’ fine if you keep that up.”

“Oh. Sorry,” Surprise agreed in her indoor voice and followed the sketchy mare. “I’m Surprise by the way. What’s your name?”

“Folks around here just call me Slim. You want something the wealthy buckers hog all to themselves? I’m the gal to call.”

“How interesting,” Surprise replied. Turning into the alley was pretty much exactly what the concubines had expected to see. Dank, murky concrete, the stench of drenched road kill mixed with dirty diapers, a rusted fire escape that was definitely not up to code, and a general absence of light to add to the all-around creep factor.

“You sure about this?” Silver whispered, her fur standing on end.

“Don’t worry. I heard from a friend that this place is cool.” Surprise gestured with her eyes behind the smaller mare.

Silver followed her line of sight and saw the regal indigo and violet of the guard’s armor as they disappeared into the alley directly opposite the sketchy one. Hoping this meant what she thought it did, Silver turned back and gave her friend a nod; all the while keeping her ears perked on high alert.

Surprise was on equal alert, her ears pivoting this way and that as she tracked everything from drops of water to the scratching of rodents behind boxes. Her body language remained calm, however, and she was careful not to look directly upwards as she searched for possible hiding places. “So how long have you been in business?”

“Basically since I got my mark.” Slim pulled her cloak back, showing off her obscenely naked hip. The nudity was obscene in that most of the fur was gone, looking like it had been burned off. “Yeah, sorry about that. My associate was doing a little experimentation and… well, unicorns aren’t the only ones that can make things go boom.” She cackled uproariously.

“I… see.” Surprise stared at the furless flank as one might a burning crash. It was so morbid, yet so fascinating all at once. The rest of Slim’s body wasn’t much better off, covered in bruises and old scars. “Looks like things haven’t been easy for you.”

“If it was easy it wouldn’t be fun!” Slim croaked. “But you know what that’s like, right? I can tell you’re the sort of mare who really likes… fun.” Even under her hood, there was a sinister gleam in her eyes.

Surprise had to consciously force herself not to look up. Her eyes had adjusted to the alley’s darkness and she had counted four possible points of entry: the alley’s entrance behind her, a door to the building on the left, by sky overhead, and the door to what looked like a shack built against the alley’s dead end. She couldn’t hear any movement up above, but there was definitely somepony moving around in the shack up ahead.

“Hey Remix,” Slim called. “Got a client looking for your special… hair spells.”

Does she really have to say it like that? Surprise wondered in annoyance.

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’! Don’t rush me,” answered the stallion with the creaky old voice. He was a pegasus who looked just as sketchy as Slim. His right eye was milky white and the number of visible teeth when he smiled could be counted on one hand. “Hair spells, ya say?” Hobbling out the hut, the stallion named Remix looked Surprise over and licked his dry lips. “Anything specific?”

“Uh…” Surprise began, suddenly feeling far less confident about this plan. “Um, got anything for moustaches? They’re for a friend,” she amended hurriedly.

“Moustaches. Moustaches? Moustaches! Moustaches?” he demanded. “You barge into my alley in the middle of the Celestia damned night, knock on my door-”

“We didn’t knock,” Slim corrected quietly.

“And demand that I, the great Remix, share with you my coveted secrets for growing the finest moustaches in all the land?” Despite being the epitome of a cranky old codger, Remix’s voice, booming with rage, carried remarkably far.

“You got money?” Slim asked.

Surprise patted her fanny pack, making it jingle with coins. “Yaperoony!”

“Oh. Well why didn’t you say so?” Remix asked with his friendliest grin.

Slim face palmed. “It was implied, you old fool. That’s how business works.”

“Well how was I supposed to know that?”

“Because that’s how business… Actually, never mind!” Slim stopped herself. “Just get the goop so we can get this over with. There’s a line forming.”

Alarmed, Surprise spun around to see if whatever pony that had been hiding in the shadows had finally revealed themselves. They had, so to speak. Silver was still standing at the alley’s entrance, gob smacked as she stared up at the pegasus stallion in full armor. The night guard was standing behind and a little to the side of her, arms crossed and hoof tapping impatiently.

“Yeah, yeah. Just wait,” Slim said with a dismissive wave. “It’s not your turn yet.”

At the familiarity of Slim’s voice and the guard’s relaxed posturing, Surprise and Silver reached the same conclusion. Oh buck everything! It’s a crooked cop!

Silver especially was aggravated with this turn of events. She knew from the start that this was a bad idea. It was beyond reckless for them to just up and play vigilante like this. She’d trusted in Surprise’s training as a volunteer guard to mean she knew what she was doing. That second guard, Silver had assumed, was tracking what were supposed to be known criminals with the intent of busting them. But now? Now it looked like this was just another crooked guard, taking payments under the table from criminal slime. At the very least his presence meant these other crooks might be dissuaded from doing anything too shady.

“Here ya go.” Remix tossed a small jar over to Surprise. “Hair growth cream. Just apply a thick coating to wherever you want some extra hair.” He motioned stroking his thumb over his upper lip. “Stimulates the hair follicles, ya see. Just keep dabbing in the same spot ‘til ya get the desired length.”

Surprise, after mentally chiding herself for her carelessness, could only stare in wonder at the little jar. Checking between Slim and Remix to make sure it was okay; she unscrewed the lid and stared at the green paste within. It smelled faintly like watermelon. “Is… is that all?”

“That’s all,” Slim confirmed. “You can even try a finger full as a free sample.”

When had the mood changed so drastically? Not a minute ago this alley seemed like the sort of place everypony warned about never entering alone. Now it was more like a somewhat dirty kiosk on main street. The smiles of Slim and Remix weren’t as off-putting as before and even the alley seemed to have lightened up a bit.

“Stuff works,” the guard called. “Believe me. This stuff does wonders.” He lifted up his helmet to reveal the complete absence of any mane.

“Hold on,” Silver interjected. “There’s something fishy about all this.”

“Well there’s a seafood place just next door.” Remix motioned to the door on his right.

Silver’s hands tightened into fists. “I mean,” she breathed, “you!” She pointed at the guard. “What’s an on-duty guard doing buying hair growth formula from some shifty characters in an alley?”

The guard shrugged. “Yeah, sorry about the misunderstanding,” he said mostly to Surprise. “I saw you signing that there were suspicious ponies around, but didn’t realize you were talking about them.” He gestured to Slim and Remix. “They’re on the up and up. Plus they’re big donors to the guard precinct and fire department.”

“Ain’t good for business if the neighborhood gets burned down,” Slim added flatly.

“Then… why are they selling in an alley!?” Silver demanded irately.

“Tax dodging,” Remix replied unashamedly. “You know how much it costs to open up a business in Canterlot? More per square meter than what I make in a year! Ain’t no regulations on alleys, though,” she added triumphantly.

Silver turned in disbelief to the guard. “And that’s fine with you?”

“It’s not like they’re hurting anypony,” he answered honestly. “Folks around here look after each other. Entrepreneurs know to let the guards know when they’re setting up shop. We make sure they’re not up to anything actually illegal and they get to make a living. Also they’re stout observers of the standard military discount, so that helps.”

“That sounds an awful lot like-”

“It’s not a bribe,” Surprise cut Silver off. “Sometimes a shortage of guards means they have to get a little, ya know, creative with preserving the peace. That’s how it worked back in Cloudsdale.”

“Th-this can’t be real.” Silver’s tone was almost begging. Desperately she wanted to hear somepony call out ‘surprise’ and say that this was all a big joke. That was the only way she could fathom this making sense. “I… you… I can’t… What!?”

“Hey there, Silvs,” Surprise cooed, bounding up to her smaller friend and embracing her. “It’ll be alright.”

“Pleasure doing business,” Slim called as she eyed the coins in her hand. “Come back any time.”

“Are you free now?” asked the disgruntled guard.

“Yeah, sure. Get that flank over here and we’ll set you up with some good-”

“Shu-shush!” the guard cut in. “Seriously, you ponies need to learn a little thing called discretion,” he hissed angrily.

Unable to take any more of this absurdity, Silver’s knees began to buckle and Surprise was forced to carry her away. No words were shared, but Surprise held tightly around her friend to assure her that all was well. To cement this message, she even bought the both of them some ice cream cones. Silver, after a bit of coaxing, took her cone and allowed herself the simple foalish comforts of ice cream after an upsetting event.

“Psst. Hey. Silver,” Surprise whispered.

“… what?”

“Check this out.”

Silver gave a tired sigh. “Surprise, please. I’m not in the mood for…” Looking up, she could not finish. There were no words.

In the seat opposite the bat mare was the great white pegasus. In one hand she had an ice cream cone. A double scoop of chocolate and strawberry. Upon her other hand, coiled around her finger, were long and silken hairs. Black as midnight, they had the most elegant sheen under the street lights, looking very much like the mare had recently paid a visit to an exceptionally pricy stylist. Above all, the most curious and eye-catching aspect of these hairs was the inescapable fact that they were growing out of the mare’s upper lip.

“You didn’t,” Silver gasped.

“Didn’t what?” Surprise asked coyly, twirling the moustache that was even longer than her hand. When she let it go, it acted very much as though it were acting under the influence of a very strong hair gel as it bounced back into a curved shape, mirroring its sibling. The smirk beneath this magnificent display of facial hair was the very picture of pride. It wasn’t long before Surprise resumed her twirling, clearly having far too much fun. And then she followed it up with an evil snicker. “Nya nya nyaaa!” All that was needed was a cigar to complete the look.

Not a second later, Silver lost it. It was a good thing she wasn’t drinking anything, but her gaffaws nearly caused her ice cream to spill.

“Nya nya nyaaa!” Surprise cackled again.

Well that certainly took an unexpected turn. The goal of this chapter was to show the flyers just hanging out and chatting it up, when suddenly I came upon the idea of wing pony jokes. I’m of the belief that the best way to deal with issues like bigotry is to rob them of power by laughing at them. So here we have a couple winged ponies talking about a few of the wilder conspiracies about their tribe, only for things to take a hard veer left. Hopefully it wasn’t too jarring.

Big thanks to my Patrons.
Tier 1: Nobody at this time
Tier 2: Nakey Jakey and Jonathan Applewhaite
Tier 3: kent and Magetsu88