When the waiter finally saw fit to bring out their meals, the odd trio began their lunch in Dusk’s Cider House as Thomas sought answers to questions he’d never found the time to ask while Luna was around.

“So just to recap, polygamy is pretty much the norm because of how many more mares than stallions there are, and us consorts are allowed to get married, right?”

“That about sums it up,” Talon nodded as she took a bite of her apple pie.

“So is it okay to have sex outside the relationship?”

“Not really. No,” Talon shook her head. “That’s still cheating, and don’t let any of my exes tell you otherwise.”

“But then what about…”

“It’s alright to bring in outside help,” Talon interrupted. “So long as everypony agrees to the stabling, there’s no problem. But sneaking around behind your lovers' backs is still a no no.”

“Okay. But it sounds like relationships like that tend to produce a lot of kids, or foals or whatever,” Thomas analyzed expertly. “How do you not overpopulate?”

“Filly foolers, my friend,” Talon answered. “Lots and lots of filly foolers and colt cuddlers, ponies bent to only liking the same sex. Between them, the small families of monogamists, and the bigger families of herds, the population stays pretty steady. At least that’s what my old grade school teacher said. Course we griffons have a more even number of males and females, so it’s not such a problem for us.”

Thomas nodded, hesitating before returning to the previously touchy subject. “And the spouses of the concubines are really okay with what they do?”

“I still don’t see why they wouldn’t,” Moonlight responded.

Thomas strained to think of a way to get his point across. There’s obviously a failure to communicate here, but I just don’t know what to say to make her understand. Then again, maybe I’m the one who just doesn’t get it. Maybe this kind of relaxed attitude towards sex is just what happens when you combine nudity, polygamy, and ponies just predestined to be promiscuous.

“Oh. I think I might know the issue here,” Talon piped up. “He’s wondering if your moms were jealous of him stabling and professionally sticking it to Princess Sunbutt.”

Moonlight frowned at the word, but her eyes widened in realization. “Is that what you were thinking?”

“I guess that’s part of it. What’s stabling?”

“Stabling is where you pursue a more intimate relationship with somepony that doesn’t want to join the herd. As Talon said, so long as you’re honest and open about it, there’s rarely any kind of problem. At the very least, my family never had any issue with my father stabling for Princess Celestia. When I was older, my mom explained that while she did feel a little inadequate about being compared to the Princess, my dad passed her concerns along to the fore mentioned Princess and we were invited to the castle several times. I still remember going there for the first time when I was little. It was scary at first, but Celestia was so nice to us. She even let us call her ‘auntie Celestia’.”

“That sounds like it must have been amazing,” noted Thomas.

“It was. And when I was older, I learned that my father invited my moms to join in his duties with the Princess whenever they liked,” Moonlight explained as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

Thomas stared at the unicorn mare dubiously. “Your dad… invited your moms… to an orgy… with Princess Celestia?”

Moonlight nodded between each pause. “Rather crude, but I suppose the term fits.”

Blinking incredulously, Thomas decided it best to just return to his food and commit himself to no longer assuming the sensibilities and taboos of monogamy.

“But come to think of it,” Moonlight resumed. “There was one thing my moms all found rather odd.”

Thomas looked up with renewed hope in his eyes.

“They didn’t much like the idea of my dad reporting his sexual exploits with them to the Princess.”

“Report what now?”

Talon bumped Thomas’ shoulder. “Big jobs tend to require a bit of homework,” the griffon explained. “Accountants sometimes have to bring their unfinished work home with them. But concubines have to tell our Princesses about the stuff we do when we clock out.”

Thomas opened his mouth to speak, but his voice failed him.

Talon nodded. “If your Princess is anything like mine, she’ll want to hear all the dirty details about what you and your very special somepony get up to.”

“Now that… that doesn’t seem ethical,” Thomas finally said.

“Well that’s how it works in Celestia’s harem,” Talon shrugged before taking another bite of her meal. “She’s always on me and the other single mares about finding our very special somepony and settling down.”

“…why?”

“Cause she wants us to be happy,” Talon answered as if it were obvious. “It’s our job to make her happy and between bucking in the bed, Celesita likes to hear what married life is like. She counsels us on any spats we might have and gives us support in hard times. In a weird way, when we’re not burying our faces in that amazing plot of hers, she kinda acts like our mom.”

“You do realize how wrong that sounded, right?” Thomas asked.

“Agreed,” Moonlight nodded. “You could have used better phrasing.”

“Yeah,” Talon shrugged. “Probably could have phrased that better. Oh! It’s like we’re her… wait… uh, never mind.”

A very special somepony? Thomas wondered to himself as he wrapped up the last of his meal, ignoring Talon’s suspicious stuttering. Am I not supposed to stay devoted to her? Does she want me to find someone, or rather somepony, other than her? Do I want anyone else? Could I even get anyone else? I think me and Luna are gonna have to have a talk about this.

Their meal concluded and Talon paid the bill. But before anyone could leave the table, she made sure Thomas watched her circle the amount for his meal as separate from the total. She’d also volunteered for him to pay the tip. When asked why, she said that she was old fashioned and believed the male should pay on the first date. She would hear nothing about how this was not a date, bringing Thomas twenty three bits further into debt. After that emotionally exhausting experience, the trio once again set off to explore the city.

“Don’t suppose you two wanna hit up a club?” Talon suggested. “I know this one DJ who lays down the sickest beats you’ve ever heard.”

Thomas groaned and shook his head. “Princess Luna said she wanted me fully recharged when I got back. I’m pretty sure a club full of sweaty naked bodies dancing around is the antithesis of what she had in mind.”

“We could check out the local theatre,” Moonlight suggested. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen a show and I think ‘The Song of Manehatten’ is in town this week.”

“That sounds pretty neat,” Thomas smiled.

“Seriously?” Talon wined. “You’d rather go see that snooze fest than go dancing?”

“You can go dancing if you want to,” Thomas offered with an innocent smile, ignorant of what he’d just said.

Talon frowned down at the little human. “You saying you’d rather I go elsewhere?”

Thomas didn’t answer right away, certain he’d just said something wrong. Moonlight bumped his shoulder and gestured with her eyes for him to say something. “What? No. I’m just saying that I want us all to have a good time. I don’t want you going somewhere if you’d rather be doing something else.”

Talon looked down at Thomas with scolding eyes. “Idiot,” she turned her head in a huff.

Thomas looked to Moonlight and silently pleaded her to explain what just happened. The unicorn mirrored the griffon’s expression and looked away.

Crap. Thomas thought. What the hell did I just say? And why is Moonlight angry too? Did I somehow tap into the universal subconsciousness of female offendedness or something? Gotta think of something… Thomas thought and thought until finally he came up with something. “How about we go to the park?”

“The park?” the two females asked together.

“Yeah,” Thomas said. “There’s this place by the lake I see from Luna’s chambers. I always thought the view would look lovely at this time of night. Plus, since it is night, there probably won’t be that many ponies around so we can have the whole park to ourselves.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Moonlight nodded. “We can just sit beneath the stars and enjoy the view.”

“And between a griffon and a lunar guard,” Talon added, “we should be able to scare off any potential muggers. Let’s go.”

Plus it’s free, so I don’t have to get into anymore debt. Thomas thought. “To the park then.”

The park was indeed exactly as Thomas predicted, beautiful yet deserted. Eventually they found the spot Thomas had seen from the castle and they all took their seats up on a grassy hill overlooking the lake. The way the moon and stars reflected off the water made it look as though the lake was holding its very own sky.

“Beautiful,” Moonlight whispered. “Nights were never so gorgeous before Princess Luna.”

“Tell me about it,” Talon sighed contentedly.

“Luna really works hard to make each night the best it can be,” Thomas said as he leaned back, propping himself up on his hands. “I hope we’re not the only ones enjoying it right now.”

“I’m sure we’re not,” Moonlight added comfortingly, never taking her eyes away from the view.

The three sat in silence for a good half hour before Talon decided to speak. “On the subject of Princess Luna’s work, I was wondering if the two of you could tell me about what happened with the Prench emissaries.” The griffon lazily turned her head to face her companions who stared in awe at the audacity with which she killed the mood.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Thomas lied unconvincingly.

“I’m pretty sure you do,” Talon said with an impish smile on her beak. “You were there, after all.”

“Thomas is right,” Moonlight defended. “It would be inappropriate to speak of such lewd things.”

Wearing a sinister grin, Talon leaned in closer and closer to the unicorn mare while Thomas craned his body uncomfortably to avoid her bare chest. “It’s clear that you’re still new to the guard,” Talon analyzed. “You just admitted that not only did something lewd happen, but you were there to see it was lewd.”

Moonlight fumed at the griffon. “I saw no such thing,” she protested. “The Princess ordered us to look away while she…” the mare caught herself and slammed her lips shut, but it was already too late.

Thomas buried his face in his palm before looking up at the guard pony. “Really?” He asked in disappointment. “Wait… you were there!?” Thomas asked at this unexpected revelation. The blushing unicorn was unable to meet his gaze.

“There for what?” Talon asked mischievously.

“It would be most inappropriate to discuss the Princess’ personal matters in this fashion,” Moonlight said forcefully.

“What she said,” Thomas added, still craning his body to avoid the griffon’s warm touch.

“Well then,” Talon continued. “How about we make a game out of it? I guess what happened and you tell me if I’m right or not. Deal?”

“No deal,” Thomas and Moonlight said together.

“Alright then,” Talon began. “So based on rumor, what you two just told me, and my own experiences with Princes Celestia, I think I’ve got a pretty good idea of what happened.” She waited a moment to watch her companions squirm in fear. “The way I hear it, Princess Luna had either forgotten that the Prench guys were coming or she was frustrated by how late they were. So she ordered the guards to look away, which they dutifully did, and by the time they looked back, which just so happened to be when the Prench guys showed up, the little chimp was nowhere to be seen.”

“I really don’t think Luna would want us talking about this sort of thing,” Thomas said uncomfortably, not noticing that his mind was growing slightly hazy as the cider finally began taking hold and lowering his inhibitions.

“Celestia never minded so long as it stayed with those who could be trusted.” Talon countered. “And since both of you were there anyway, I think you qualify.”

The human and unicorn exchanged concerned looks. “Should we just tell her?” Thomas asked.

Moonlight was at a loss. Still blushing, she turned to the griffon. “What exactly did you hear happened?”

Talon playfully bobbed her head from side to side. “That a certain somepony was acting as a cushion for another certain somepony’s royal plot.”

“Fine,” Thomas relented. “Luna did ask me to be her cushion for the day.”

“Ooh,” Talon cheered. “I know where this is going, but do tell anyway.”

With a groan, the slightly tipsy Thomas began his story. “Like you said, we were waiting in her office for the Prench emissaries to show up, but they were really late. So Luna told the guards to look away and then told me to lie down on her chair.”

“Lie down,” Talon repeated. “Not sit?”

“It’s a big chair,” Thomas emphasized.

“A big cushiony chair for a big cushiony plot,” Talon said as she painted the scene in her mind’s eye.

“Yeah… Anyway, I lined myself up with the imprint she made in the chair and…”

“How soft?” Talon interrupted. “I know how heavy alicorns can be, but Celestia has the softest plot I’ve ever had the pleasure of cushioning. How was Luna’s?”

Thomas averted his gaze. “It’s like being smothered by the most amazing pillows after they’d just been fluffed and heated. I’m a lot smaller than her so when we do it, her plot pretty much covers up my waist and most of my torso.”

The human looked over at Moonlight, expecting her ready to protest. However, she seemed in a trance, hypnotized by her own mental picture. “And,” she said encouragingly.

“And literally just as she was about to sit down,” Thomas paused for suspense. “The Prench emissaries showed up.”

“Daww,” Talon whined cheerfully. “Timing that bad has to be some sort of miracle.”

“Not from my point of view, it wasn’t,” Thomas complained. “But I guess there are worse views out there.”

“So this all happened without any pony noticing?” Talon asked.

“Like I said,” Thomas continued. “It was a big chair. Plus Luna had to lift up her gown so I could slip under it. I was completely hidden from view. No pony suspected a thing.”

“We knew,” Moonlight broke her silence. “Throughout the discussions, Luna kept fidgeting more than usual. Every now and then she’d let out a moan as she shifted in her… seat.”

“What in Tartarus were you doing to the poor mare?” Talon asked excitedly.

“Everything in my power not to orgasm,” Thomas confessed. “I was inside her the moment she sat down and she couldn’t move for risk of exposing me. I tried to pull out, but she was so heavy that I couldn’t move. My arms were free, but that only made things worse since I had to resist teasing that amazing plot which seemed to be taunting me with the fact that I couldn’t touch it.”

Thomas felt warm breathing on his neck and turned to see Moonlight Shield panting beneath her armor. Her hands twitched as she seemed to be forcing them to stay on her thighs and not move. He then looked over at Talon who was massaging her left breast right in front of him. Somehow, neither he nor Moonlight could work up the nerve to tell her to stop.

“So there I was, my dick inside the Princess while her plot smothered my lower half and I was powerless to thrust or pull out. This lasted for two hours. Two… freaking… hours!”

“Oh, you poor thing,” Talon cooed sympathetically as she rubbed the tip of her claw over her nipple. “That must have been torture.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

“But hey,” Talon slapped Thomas’ back encouragingly. “Two hours, man. That’s a hell of an accomplishment. So were you two ever able to climax.”

“The moment the Prench were ready to leave, Luna asked all her guards to escort them out. I think they knew she wanted some privacy.”

“We did,” Moonlight added flatly.

“Then I think Luna cast a spell to soundproof the room and started bouncing on top of me like there was no tomorrow.”

“Praise Celestia,” Talon cheered while raising her free hand triumphantly. “I love a happy ending. And yes… that one was intentional.”

Finally, an update. I had actually written the cushion thing much earlier in the story, but it didn't feel right. I use the excuse of mild alcohol here to excuse the blabbing, plus it's between trustworthy folks, so I'm sure it's fine.

Also, I'm thinking of taking this story in a slightly different direction. There'll still be sexy fun and humor at Thomas' expense, but I'd like to add a bit more substance to the story by exploring a few other themes. Also, I dropped a hint of something that'll be pretty important later on.

9/15/15 Edited to include the definition of stabling.