“On the road again…Just can’t wait to get on the road again…”

As the unforgiving rays of the sun licked at my skin, causing generous amounts of sweat to run down my body, I couldn’t help but sing a small song in hopes of taking my mind off the sweltering heat of the arid badlands I was currently traversing. Gotta hand it to Willie Nelson, he made some catchy tunes for wandering about.

“… The wife I love is gettin’ groovy with my friends…”

I had emptied the first canteen of water the monkeys gave to me in minutes. I’m a bit of an idiot like that. And with the pounding of the torrid air against my face, along with the dryness of my throat, I couldn’t help but feel tempted to down the second flask I carried with me as well.

“…I bet’ not see that bitch again~.”

Listen, I never said I actually knew the lyrics to the song. I was tired, delirious, and I was almost above my boiling point, so don’t give me any flak for that! Anyway, I successfully resisted the urge to go bottoms up with the last bit of the ever so thirst-quenching, life-preserving, and all around god tier canteen of H2O I held in my hands, choosing to instead take a small, reassuring sip from the half-empty container. Wait what!? Half empty! Since when!?

I had a minor freak out as I looked all around, finding nothing but cracked land and a distinct lack of vegetation. All of these factors combined with a small amount of water did nothing to alleviate my hysteria. In what seemed to be becoming a daily exercise, my breathing once again picked up as I realized that I could very well die out in this desert.

It was at that very moment that a shadow passed over me, causing me to look up towards the cloudless sky in puzzlement. Up there I saw something that made me very uncomfortable. A vulture.

“How quaint,” I commented. My words betrayed the trepidation known only to a man who was fearing for his life. When my mortality was called into question, I nearly panicked. If I did die out here, I’d be bird food!

Looking back down towards the ground, I found the skull of…something… picked free of its flesh and very old if the cracks in the structure of it indicated anything. I chose a random direction and ran as quick as my legs would take me when I realized that this would be me if I didn’t get out of this desert soon.

After many more hours, with the sun still high in the sky, I continued my tormented trek through the vast wasteland of watchful vultures, decrepit land, and flesh-searing sunlight. Panting like a dog, I drank from my water canteen, only to find there was only enough for a mouthful of water. I shook the container, surprised, as though the action would restore the fluids that were once held within before letting out an exasperated sigh. That was the last of any kind of nourishment I had next to the fire-fruit, and I wasn’t too keen on learning of any other side effects that fruit had on me after the agony in the forest and the glowing heart as a result. I took a bite anyway, feeling a minute trace of pain and seeing a faint haze of red cover my eyes for but a moment before I began to feel less like a dried pear. Huh. Guess smaller samples of the thing meant less pain, but also less benefits.

I pulled out my phone once again, attempting to make some kind of call to anyone. Although the battery was at an appalling ten percent, I called the authorities once again, but when they wouldn’t pick up after about four or five times I grew somewhat desperate. I dialed my sister’s number this time, hoping with bated breath for someone on the other end to pick up. The battery kept on draining all the while, now hitting five percent. A minute passed…then two…and it finally went to voicemail after the fifth.

“Hello, this is Tamaria Coleman. Unfortunately, I’m not near my phone at this moment in time. Please leave a message for me after the beep. Beep!” She even made that cute little beep sound at the end of the message, just like she used to when we were but children in kindergarten as we played firemen. Or as she would say, firewomen. Heh. It was humbling knowing that I could very well expire in the next hours’ time, knowing I could very well never get to see Tamaria’s face again.

I realized that a stray tear or two had spilled from my eyes upon these grim thoughts, remembering with trembling lips that the voicemail was still recording.

“H-hey, little troublemaker. It’s your big bro…” Suddenly my voice had gotten even drier than it had before, and it wasn’t because of the dehydration I was suffering from. “…Y-yeah, jus’ callin’ to check up on you, girl. I been feelin’ a bit worried about you, like a big brother does. It’s my job to worry about you, you know?” I had trouble putting together anything meaningful, but for me, every last word I could get to her was the most valuable thing I could imagine. The battery hit three percent.

“I know we weren’t exactly on the best terms when we last saw each other, but I jus’ wanted to apologize for bein’ such a dick to you an’ your boy. It was outta line, an’ I had no justification for what I did,” Two percent… “Anyway, I wanted to call to say it may take a while before we can see each other face to face…if you even want to see me again after that… but know it ain’t because I’m ignoring you or anything. A few complications with my landlord and with the phone bills are keepin’ me from picking up phone calls an’ stayin’ at home for the time being. So if I don’t return your calls, don’t be discouraged, just know that Ladarion is tryin’ to pull his finances together for a bit,” One percent.

“Tamaria. Go and be happy with your boy. If I don’t speak to you in a while…just know that I will always support you no matter what, even if I don’t always show it. I love ya, sis…”

And with that, the voicemail ended, and the screen went black. I stood there for another minute or two, simply staring at the screen. When I came out of my trance, I wiped my eyes clear of their tears with dirty hands before feeling the tug of the bright star somewhere up in the sky, choosing to follow the strange feeling. I was gonna get home. Sooner or later, I was gonna get back to my family, back to my sister. At that moment, though, I had the more impending matter of getting out of this hellhole before I fried.

I tore the rest of my shirt and hoodie from where Mufasa left his clawmark on my chest, letting the tattered clothing flutter off to the side as the rest of my torso was exposed in order to prevent myself from overheating.

By now I had eaten the rest of the fire-fruit, bit by bit, over the course of my hellish journey. I was fortunate enough to be hydrated enough to continue producing sweat to prevent my skin from being grilled by the harsh rays of the sun, but I was unfortunate enough to have gotten a bit delusional from the extended time walking in a direction that seemed to be taking me nowhere.

The sameness of the landscape was maddening, and I was so caught up in the thought of water that I tricked myself into believing that the first dip in the ground was an oasis. I merrily jumped into the dip, only to howl in pain a moment later when I hit solid earth instead of weight-dampening water.

Now here I was, walking through the exact same uniform brownness and dust after pulling my hurt form out of the small hole. The occasional tumbleweed rolled by, capturing my attention as I would stare at them until they became mere dots in the waning blood-red sunlight. Soon I wouldn’t have to worry about the extreme heat; instead, I’d need to worry about the icy cold come nighttime.

I scratched at the stubble that had begun to form on my chin as I trudged ever onward, hoping for some sign of civilization in this dusty plain. As I thought this, however, shadows once again passed over me. Looking up, I expected to see the vultures that were tailing me, likely waiting until I finally dropped from exhaustion to swoop down and savage my carcass.

What I saw, however, were no vultures. In the air, two figures circled me, one a pony with wings and the other a…bird of some sort? What in the hell kind of scavengers were these? Last I checked, ponies were herbivores. And if these two could fly, why were they in this desert instead of, oh I don’t know, at home or something? What were they doing out here of all places?

My confusion increased exponentially when they both gradually descended towards me after what seemed to be an exchange of words between them. When they landed in front of me, I backed up slightly, still wary of the other beings on this world. What can I say? Being nearly torn asunder by wild animals, tossed out of trees by karate-fighting monkeys, and coerced into accepting deals with malicious spirits does a number on a man’s ability to trust others.

“Whaddya make of it, Tony?” asked the bird thing, looking at me with a predatory gleam that I knew far too well by now as though I were a giant chunk of meat. It looked like a feathered lion with a beak. I was never too big into mythology when there were so many fascinating stories about real life in history books, but I’m pretty sure this was what the Greeks would call a griffin.

“I have no clue as to what it could be,” answered the pony as he gazed at me in curiosity. “Ya think we should take it to the boss? He does like his selection of one-of-a-kind critters. ‘Sides, it ain’t like he got anywhere better to be, what with bein’ caught out here anyways.”

The two goons were wearing what appeared to be vests, the griffin with two sets of straps around one of her thighs that carried a compact bag that was held closed by a buckle and the winged pony with a vial of some sort hanging from around his neck.

I took a step back as they began talking about me as though I were mere property, a weak growl escaping my cracked lips as I bared my teeth.

“Yo, I can hear y’all, y’know? Quit speakin’ about me like I’m some cheap item on the dollar menu, for Christ’s sake! And while you at it, can you kindly scamper off back to wherever the hell y’all came from?” I commanded angrily. I didn’t even think to ask them for directions before I told them off, I idly thought as I sat there, waiting for them to heed my advice. When they didn’t, though, I spoke again.

“You hear me? Get the hell outta here! Shoo! I don’t want nothin’ to do wit’ y’all, okay?”

The two thugs stood there, motionless, looking at me as though I had grown a second middle finger on my hand when I lifted it up to them for their viewing pleasure.

“Y-you can speak?” asked the griffoness, obviously caught off guard.

I moved to respond before ‘Tony’ jumped and shouted with excitement.

“Hot diggity! Y’know what that means? Extra pay from Boss Man! Anesthetize this critter, Hawkeye!” the blue-coated pony exclaimed.

I took another step back as the griffiness reached toward her sack.

“Whachu think you doin’-!” I managed to blurt out before a pill hit me in the cheek, bursting into powder as it made contact with my face. I choked on my words as it grew difficult to breathe through constricted lungs, water pouring from my stinging eyes as the substance made contact with them.

The world spun as I fell to my knees. I clutched my throat as I looked up to the now fuzzy figures as one of them strode up to me. I let out one more strangled sound before a sudden spark of force knocked me to the ground, the world growing murkier and murkier before I finally succumbed to the blackness.

I felt submerged. The world shifted into and out of focus, colors inky and dulled. I heard various voices around me, but they all sounded muffled, as though I was listening to them underwater.

I could make out two – no three – voices as I sat on the line between consciousness and limbo, one being notably female, while a bit deeper than the usual woman’s voice, and the other two being distinctly male. One was excited and enthused, with a childish tone to the words, while the other was grim and baritone, like that of an overworked man.

More mumbling continued as I heard the clippity-clop of hooves approaching my side. Then, as what sounded like a command sounded in my ears, my jaw was forced open and something cool traveled down my throat. It was cold and bitter on the way down, and it felt as though ice was forming on my very breath as I exhaled before coughing and sputtering as the liquid got to my stomach, making the muscles there tighten and contract the same as they had done in my esophagus.

My eyes shot open in panic as I continued hacking, my body attempting to expel the fluid from my system before I froze from the inside out. I could see my cold breath on the air despite for some odd reason sweating profusely. My pupils dilated as my eyes adjusted to the rather dark room I was in, the only light source being a dingy lamp hanging overhead.

My heart pounded in my chest, glowing ever bright as fear consumed me. I looked down to see that my arms and legs were bound to a rickety wooden chair, the realization that I was tied up and defenseless doing nothing to cull my feelings of utter terror. When my coughing stopped, I heard a small hem from in front of me.

As I looked up from my bindings I saw two figures, one a large griffiness with a pack buckled around one of her thighs and a balaclava tied around her neck, seeming come up to my chest if I were to stand in front of her, and the other a pony with a maroon coat and a short black mane. The pony was pretty small in comparison to the horses of Earth, looking to only measure up to around my ribcage, so that took some of the fright out of me at least.

While I was looking at the both of them, I noticed the griffon was tossing my bag of change in one of her…whatever the hell the word for griffon hands is, a cocky grin on her face. Both were staring at me with an unsettling amount of scrutiny, the red pony’s dull brown eyes and the griffon’s fierce orange eyes seeming to dissect me with but their eyes.

I started when I felt something prod me in the ribs, expecting the object to be a baseball bat or something that these thugs would use to beat my head in until my skull went concave. Instead, another pony was sitting next to me, this one being the vested blue…pegasus, I think they’re called, that ordered the griffon to pacify me so they could carry me off to here. Wherever here was. His mane was a sandy tan, being both messy and long.

I saw him placing the necklace with the vial back around his neck, somehow grasping string with hooves, as I glanced in his direction. So that’s what I was forced to imbibe.

The blue pegasus looked over at the maroon pony and called out. “Well, Boss Man, he’s awake. So whadda we do now?” he asked in an energized way that honestly didn’t make me any more comfortable. His sharklike grin worried me even more.

The other pony, who lacked both wings and the horn that a few of the others I saw had, continued stripping me down with his muddy brown eyes. The griffiness off to the side seemed to have a more lascivious expression on her predatory visage, a dangerous glint in her avian eyes as she essentially stripped me down the same as the red pony, but only less meticulous and mechanical; instead, her gaze was more…curious, I guess. Disconcerting was an understatement.

The pony continued to look at me, a tense silence beginning to settle over the dark room, only broken by my heavy breathing and the jingling of the coins in the bag Hawkeye tossed up and down in her hands. At long last, the pony opened up his mouth to say something:

“For now? Nothing,” he said as he advanced toward me. “At least not yet. Creature, do you know why you’re here?” asked the pony. I simply stared back at him with no small amount of fear in my eyes. Normally I would have been pissed by someone not using my name, but at the moment I didn’t feel I had any room to speak, what with awakening in the custody of a questionable band of individuals.

“Yes, that is about what I expected. Do you know where you are at the least?” he questioned. I simply shook my head, realizing that the icy liquid made it impossibly difficult to form coherent words.

The pony, now face to face with me, being only slightly smaller than me in my seated position, closed his eyes as he hummed in thought. “Interesting. Well, allow me to tell you what I know then, creature,” he said as his dull eyes took on a small, sadistic shine. He leaned forward. “You are in our custody. You are tethered and defenseless. You have no idea where you are, why you are here, or what we are going to do to you. We can do anything we want with you and you will be helpless.”

A spark of life, however malignant, gleamed in his large brown orbs before dying out, being replaced once again with his dull, dead stare.

“However, we will do none of that to you so long as you sit there and answer our questions without protest. Let us begin; what sort of creature are you?” he asked. A wave of relief washed over me when he told me I would come under no more harm if I obliged his request.

I moved to speak when suddenly I froze, coughing once again. The pain I experienced with what felt like ice forming in my chest, the cold nearly extinguishing the heat and glow of my heart that usually shined when I was under duress. I chose not to attempt to speak when what felt like a spear pierced through my heart in order to avoid any more pain.

“Are you going to answer? It is a simple question I am asking after all. You’re quite the novel sight, if I do say so myself,” said the maroon pony.

When he was answered only by my silence once again, the blank expression on his face shifted into one of mild annoyance. He turned to the vested blue pony off to my side.

“He is obviously intelligent, Tony, so why isn’t he speaking?” asked the “Boss Man”.

Tony turned back to me with a small frown, tugging at the vial around his neck nervously as he spoke. “Dunno, Boss Man. What I do know, though, is that this here critter sure was speakin’ when we first met. Swears like a sailor, too, as a matter o’ fact,” responded Tony.

Boss Man turned back to me, leveling another stare at me as I continued to pant from both pain and dehydration. “Hm. I honestly don’t care what you are, so if you choose not to sate my curiosity, then so be it. Tell me this, though: why were you in the middle of the desert when Tony and Hawkeye found you?” he asked as he gave me some breathing room. When no response came from me yet again, he closed his eyes, reopening them as a dangerous glint tinted them.

“If you are going to remain silent, then I see no point in extending this meeting any longer than I already have,” he turned around and walked to the door that led outside the room, putting a hoof on the handle before turning back to the griffiness. “Hawkeye, keep watch over this creature. I know that he is restrained, but it’d be foolish to leave him alone. Tony, follow me out, we have something to discuss.”

With those parting words, the pony broke physics as he somehow turned the door handle before exiting the room, the blue pony following him through the door. I calmed down a bit as the Boss Man left, enjoying the peace and quiet before a female voice pulled me out of my reverie.

“Well~. Looks like it’s just you and me for now,” my breathing once again picked up as Hawkeye approached me, that predatory look in her eyes as she scanned me over all the while. She placed the sack of coins on the ground, forgetting it as she stared rapaciously into my eyes. As she loomed over me, I couldn’t help but feel the bindings around my arms and legs seemingly tighten as I knew there’d be no escaping this situation. I could only lean backwards into the chair to distance myself from her as much as possible as she got closer and closer.

Just as Hawkeye seemed as though she were about to make a move, Tony opened the door. He stared in shock at the two of us as Hawkeye hovered over me, the griffiness letting out an agitated groan in response to his interruption.

“Ugh, what is it, Tony? Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something?” asked Hawkeye, making no move to get out of my personal space. The return of Tony was a godsend, but I was still scared out of my mind at what Hawkeye was likely going to do to me.

“Uhh…” the pony responded somewhat awkwardly. “Pardon the, uh, intrusion. I-I got some water for this here critter, iffn ya don’t mind. Thought he’d be more talkative if he were to wet his whistle,” he said as he, too, approached my bound form. He had a pail of the aforementioned substance balanced upon his back as he moved towards us. I would have been amazed by the amount of skill that must have taken if I wasn’t being held captive and nearly jumped by a crazy mythological creature.

He stopped by the side of my chair, the griffiness finally stepping back so she could snatch the bucket from his back, placing it on the floor.

“Thank you, now leave,” said the griffiness in a venomous tone.

Tony wilted under her glare and tone, choosing to heed her advice as trotted quickly out of the room.

“Damned pest. Ruined the mood,” I heard Hawkeye mutter.

She turned toward me, a small smile creeping onto her face yet again, this one less wild. “Well, guess I get to handle rehydrating you. Wouldn’t want you to croak due to drying up, after all.”

I still felt wary about being around her, but water is water, and I needed quite a bit of it if I wanted any hope of getting out of this place without dropping from dehydration.

As she turned away from me to pick up the pail, I couldn’t help but think to myself how badly I needed to get out of this situation. I wasn’t exactly in agreeance with being tied to a chair after being knocked cold in the middle of the Mojave.

‘I gotta wait,’ I thought to myself. ‘I gotta wait for the right opportunity to get the hell outta here.’

As the griffiness raised the water to my lips, I couldn’t help but drink heartily, my throat as cracked and dry as the desert outside. When their guard was down, that was when I would make my move, but in order to do anything I’d need to muster all the strength I could. So it was with this thought plaguing my mind that I sat back, still nursing from the bucket, waiting for the perfect moment to escape…

A few hours later, I was still sitting in the rickety wooden chair, my arms and legs no less tied up. As relieved I was to not have someone else trying to jump my bones without my consent, along with finally getting a bit of water into my system, I was still on edge.

Thankfully, the griffiness who was about to do the bone-jumping earlier was sitting away from me by the wall furthest from me, near the door. She seemed less intent on messing with me after Tony’s interference earlier, but that didn’t stop her from glancing in my direction every now and again from her position on the floor. She had sat down in a position akin to the Sphinx and chose to play with my bag of change once again. I don’t know why she seemed so happy to have a bag full of quarters, but hey, I’m guessing she was a gamer or something. I know I enjoyed arcade games when I was but an ankle-biter.

Hawkeye splayed herself out as she played with the coins, flipping one up over and over again. I couldn’t help but watch as she did so, what with the boredom that accompanied my isolation in this dank room. Hawkeye noticed that I was watching her, smiling as she continued to flip the coin.

“Heads or tails?” she asked, looking my way with a small grin. I was surprised by her directly regarding me, put on guard when I remembered what possibly would have happened had her blue-coated partner in crime not arrived when he had. She was probably just as bored watching over me as I was having to be here in the first place, but I wasn’t going to allow myself to be lulled into a false sense of security by her amicable tone.

My voice was hardly doing any better, but I was able to put about one or two words together, even if with great difficulty. About a dozen questions swam about in my head as I attempted to keep myself alert, but I eventually consented, finding no harm could come out of obliging the griffiness’s request.

I cleared my throat, which now wasn’t as dry, and attempted to speak.

“T-tails,” I responded. My voice came out like an avalanche sliding down a mountain made of barbed wire, broken glass, and sandpaper.

The griffiness’s smile dipped a bit when she heard my gravelly voice, but a smirk soon settled on her beak when she realized what I had said. She flipped the coin and snatched it out of the air before it hit the ground, placing it upon the back of her wrist. She hummed when she inspected the quarter, her smirk growing wider.

“Looks like you got it,” she said before looking back toward me. “Not bad. But games like this are hit and miss, y’know? You’ve got a fifty-fifty chance of guessing right, but you can’t know which side you’ll land on, face down or face up. You never know where you are until the dirt is in your eyes or the sky hangs overhead.”

I didn’t know where this sudden philosophical lecture was coming from, but I decided it was better to have Hawkeye talking over there than touching me over here.

I moved to speak, my words stinging my throat as I talked. “The f-funny thing about chance, though, is that it comes in copious quantities. You’re never stuck in the dirt or looking up.”

She turned to me, surprised that I actually was conversing with her. “Yeah, you may be given various chances to do something, but it’s never truly in your control where you land or for how long you stay there. It’s the invisible hands of fate that flip a coin that gives you the opportunity to see things anew. Some are more likely to fall onto a certain side, and you can tell which side they’ve fallen to by how worn out that side is. You can’t easily change when you’re stuck in the mud.”

“I don’t get stuck flat on one side. I roll with the choices, always balancing myself out to ensure I ain’t caught in the earth or simply dreaming. I like to keep my options open, an’ I don’t allow myself to fall victim to the “invisible hands of fate” like I’ve seen others do. The moment you quit rollin’, the minute you stop movin’ forward, is the moment you allow yourself to be influenced by these flimsy-,” I was interrupted by a harsh cough before continuing. “These flimsy external tides. You can’t let others dictate how you’re gonna live and where you’re gonna fall, or even if you’re gonna fall. You just gotta keep rollin’.”

Hawkeye's grin slipped as I talked, shifting to a thoughtful expression as she continued flipping the coin before it slipped between her talons and landed sideways on the floor, rolling slowly before settling in a standing position, both sides showing. Hawkeye stared at the coin in shock before looking back to me with a newfound interest – this one less lecherous and more curious.

“Pheh. Didn’t know you could speak without so much as a single swear in every sentence. Much less in a philosophical sense,” she said.

“Well, I tend to cuss when I’m stressed out. It helps me cope with situations where I’m about to get kidnapped by thugs in the middle of the desert while suffering the adverse effects of dehydration,” I responded. “And I ain’t so much as philosophical as I am pragmatic. In the end, it’s easier to keep balance between two choices or find a third way to do things than it is to give in to the fatalistic view that there are only a set amount of options to go about things in life.”

Hawkeye jerked back a bit at the bite in my tone, along with the fury in my eyes, when I told her of her part in my current situation, but continued looking on at me as I spoke.

The griffiness scratched at her beak. “Hey, just so you know, it’s nothing personal. Everyone’s gotta make a little dough someway, y’know?” she asked as she glanced at the upright coin out of the corner of her eye.

“So you abduct people that you find in the desert then? What the hell am I even doing here?” I asked. My blood was beginning to boil and my heart once again warmed as I felt the sting in my throat grow numb.

The griffiness looked back to me with a stony mask covering her features. “I can’t answer that. And even if I could, I wouldn’t tell you,” she answered. At that moment, I couldn’t help but notice the coin fell to one side as she responded.

Hawkeye slowly advanced toward me as she continued. “Remember, we are the ones who hold the power here. We are the ones who ask the questions. And now that you can speak so clearly, maybe you can answer a few of them when Barney gets back,” she icily said as she closed the distance betwixt us.

I’m guessing Barney – as ridiculous as that name was – was that maroon pony with no special features outside of a tramp stamp on his ass. I wasn’t paying enough attention to his behind to tell what it was, but I remember it having something to do with water. Now that I think about it, even the blue pony had one. The only person missing an ass tattoo was Hawkeye, not that I was looking or anything.

I glared into Hawkeye’s orange eyes, intense as a flame, with a challenge resting within my own. I grit my teeth, a frustrated sound escaping from me as I looked away, declaring her the victor of this small battle of the minds.

She finally backed off as I broke eye contact, moving back to her Sphinx-like position near the door, picking up the coin and looking at the dirty side of it. She made a small huff as she continued flipping it in her talons. The silence returned, only broken by the flipping of the coin.

I knew being difficult wouldn’t get me out of here, so she could take as many victories as she wanted. After all, this was only a small battle.

I, however, aimed to win the war.

An undiscerned amount of time later, I was awoken by the sound of jangling keys, followed by the opening of a door. Tony had traded positions with Hawkeye over watching me, saying something about the ‘night watch’. This information, along with the gentle tug of the sun on my mind, allowed me to conclude that it must have been early in the morning by this time.

In strode Hawkeye once again, one of my canteens in her claws along with a slice of bread. Thank God, because I was actually getting sick of having to drink out of a bucket. She kicked Tony as she passed him, startling the pony who was beginning to doze off, before looking to me.

“Morning,” she said in a chipper tone. She must have been an early riser. I couldn’t empathize with that, as I was somewhat irked at having my slumber, as uneasy as it was, interrupted by another. I didn’t respond as she walked up to me, holding up the piece of bread before picking a piece off of it and guiding it to my lips.

“Come on~. Open up wide, ‘cause here comes the choo-choo train,” she childishly said. A small, amused smile carved itself into her beak as she continued her immature behavior. I simply gave her a deadpan glare. Great, and here I thought she’d be too drowsy to mess about.

Tony gave an exaggerated yawn before calling out to the annoying griffiness. “Ugh, would ya just feed the dang varmint already? Quit playin’ around with him.”

Hawkeye turned toward the pegasus pony with a look of false woe, the claw holding the water canteen and the rest of the untorn bread covering her feathered chest where I assume her heart would be. That is, if the creatures of this land even have hearts.

“Why, I’ve no clue what you’re implying, Mr. Feathers. I’m but a dutiful griffiness who’s feeding an otherwise helpless creature in his time of need!” said Hawkeye in a melodramatic tone of faux ignorance. “I would never think to take such a vital assignment, no, obligation so carelessly, and I do think that I am due for an apology after such an unthinkable accusation!”

Tony rolled his eyes. Turned out he’s the one who doesn’t enjoy mornings, which I found pretty surprising considering how energetic he seemed otherwise.

“Just hurry it up, Hawkeye. You and I both know that we ain’t got all day,” responded the pony. “You’ll get plenty o’ time to…talk with him when it’s your shift.”

Hawkeye gave the pony an eyeroll of her own before turning back to me, grinning all the while.

Now I’m not going to sit here and describe what may have been one of the most emasculating experiences in my life in too much detail. I’m not planning on giving anyone too much ammunition with which to shoot down the rest of my hopes and dreams with naught but humiliation.

I attempted to get the overly large bird to free my hands so that I could feed myself, but she denied me that small request. In all honesty, she was likely just being cautious to ensure I wouldn’t just strangle her when I could use my arms, and I’m not going to confirm or deny whether I actually would have if I was given the opportunity.

She took her time, too. Piece by tiny piece she would give me the bread before finally allowing me to drink from the canteen when the entire slice was devoured. What could have been a three minute thing took an excruciating amount of time. I wanted to get out of this place all the more because of this.

‘Soon…,’ I vindictively thought to myself, sucking up my pride only because I wasn’t going to turn down food or drink.

When she was finished tormenting me, the griffiness set her attention back to Tony, giving him a cheeky smirk. “Oh, I just remembered. Barney wants to see you, Tony. Said something about an opportunity for a bonus payment,” she said to the blue pony.

Tony’s ears shot straight up, his fatigued expression one-eightying into that of excitement at the mention of money. “Really? Well I ain’t gonna keep him waiting if that’s the case!” he said enthusiastically as he trotted quickly to the door. “Watch this here critter for a bit, Hawkeye. I’m gonna check what it is the boss man wants.”

With those parting words, the pony hurriedly opened the door and exited the room, another jangling of keys accompanying the sound of the locking mechanism of the door being activated along with the subsequent echo of hoofsteps fading down a hallway signifying that I was once again left alone with a wild griffiness.

I warily turned toward Hawkeye when I felt her eyes once again aimed at me.

“So, Mr. Sailor, heads or tails?” she asked, pulling out a coin.

I groaned in response.

A few hours later, I had a snoozing griffiness in my lap. Don’t ask why. I was planning on catching a few more z’s, but the moment I closed my eyes, Hawkeye took it upon herself to join me. I wouldn’t have minded overmuch, but there are instances where I don’t like being touched. In particular, I don’t enjoy being laid upon by dubious strangers of another species who also happened to have kidnapped me.

I looked down at the griffiness, who seemed awfully at ease. My heartstrings may have been tugged if the circumstances were less…this. This being the whole ‘me being abducted’ ordeal.

I wiggled my arms and legs, attempting to loosen the rope around them before my concentration was broken by another tintinnabulation of keys. When the door was unlocked, the maroon pony, Barney, and Tony stood outside. They were turned toward each other, speaking in hushed voices. I picked up a small amount of their conversation:

“Yeah, I got the message to ‘em, Boss Man. Just like you asked. They should be here in a day’s time to check out the quarry,” whispered Tony.

“Good, good,” said Barney in just as silent a tone, the first etchings of a smile I’ve ever seen weaving its way onto his face. “You’ve done an outstanding job, Tony. We shall await their arrival for the time being.” The maroon pony made to move into the room before Tony halted him with a hoof.

“Ahem,” said the blue pony with a sly grin.

Barney nodded his head. “Yes, you will get your bonus on top of the bits we should receive for such an exotic creature. It would have been a waste of time and energy to trek with him through the desert when you or Hawkeye could have simply flown to-,” he finally turned his head, peering into the room to see the fierce female lying on top of me, asleep. His eyes widened upon viewing the odd scene as Tony brushed past him, greeting the two of us.

“We’re back, everypo- oh!” exclaimed Tony as his jaw nearly hit the floor when he glanced at us. “What in the hay am I bearin’ witness to!?” shouted the blue pony, rousing the man-sized predator atop me.

Hawkeye gave an admittedly cute yawn before rubbing at one of her eyes.

“Ugh, keep it down, would you big guy? I’m trying to get some shut eye here,” she said as she gave me an agitated glare. When she saw that I was looking at something past her, she followed my gaze. When she spied her partners observing us she had a miniature freak out, squawking as she fell back, sharp limbs flailing this way and that and luckily not hitting my face before she found purchase with the cold stone floor.

Hawkeye scrambled to an upright position before smiling awkwardly at Tony and Barney, coughing into a claw and scratching at the back of her neck as she looked everywhere but them, a small blush coloring her visage.

“H-heya guys! You didn’t see any of that, did you?” she nervously asked. When she was met with stunned silence she clarified the situation. “Because if you did, then know that I was just uh… j-just making sure he wouldn’t try escaping! Yeah, that!”

An awkward silence settled within the room.

“I don’t think they buyin’ it,” I helpfully pointed out, a shit-eating grin on my face.

Hawkeye swiveled toward me so quickly that I thought she was going to give herself whiplash, her eyes wide with embarrassment before narrowing with annoyance.

“Shut up!” she quietly commanded as her cheeks practically glowed, socking me in the shoulder with an unnecessary amount of force.

“Ow! Bitch.”

“Female dogs have nothing to do with anything right now, so keep your trap shut!” she responded.

I mumbled angrily to myself as the ache in my shoulder lingered, wishing that I could have given her what-for and many more for her transgressions.

As I grumbled dark utterings about vengeance and comeuppance, Barney recovered from his initial shock, his expression turning neutral as Tony reeled his jaw back in.

“Hawkeye, we will have a discussion about guard duty etiquette when we are done with this transaction,” said the maroon pony as he leveled an unimpressed gaze in the direction of the griffiness in question.

Hawkeye responded appropriately, lowering her head somewhat as her blush lost some of its intensity.

“And you,” the pony pointed to me.

“Me?” I asked innocently.

“Yes, you,” answered Barney, even less impressed. “I still have a few questions for you.”

“Well, do I get to leave if I answer them correctly? Between you and I, though, I ain’t too good with pop quizzes.”

“Ha. Ha.” I like to think he was laughing on the inside. “Very funny, Mr. Wise Guy. No, you do not earn your freedom if you answer my questions.”

“Then why are we still talkin’?”I asked. “If there’s no reason for me to bother, then why would I give you any answers to anything?”

“Well, I could have Hawkeye here pry them out of you. For all of her affections, she is still more devoted to her paycheck than she is to keeping you out of harm’s way,” he said by way of reply.

I didn’t believe him, but I still looked warily at Hawkeye. What I saw, however, chilled me to the bone.

The griffiness was once again regarding me with that same emotionless mask she had the other day, when we had first argued. Her wings were half-way open, making her appear much larger, her talons caught the small amount of light available, drawing my attention to the deadly objects, and she stared into my eyes with intensity that was not joking or lecherous, but predatory. My instincts called for me to book it upon the sight of what could very easily end my life with but a swipe as I sat strapped to a chair with no means of defending myself. This, along with her sudden shift in attitude, nearly made me piss myself.

A bead of sweat rolled down my forehead, and it wasn’t because of the stuffiness of the room. I reminded myself that these were first and foremost my captors. These were thieves, criminals who sold flesh and disreputable services for cash. I had to get out of here before tomorrow came, before those ‘tradesmen’ arrived to evaluate me and possibly purchase me for Lord knows what.

“So,” began the maroon pony as he paced in front of me. “While we still have you in our hooves, we are allowed to do whatever we want to entertain ourselves and list it off as having found you in whatever condition should become of you if you refuse to comply.”

“You... Damn you!” I growled. “What gives you the right to-,” I was cut off when I felt a sharp talon press against the soft flesh of my throat.

“Creature, we have you bound to a chair in an undisclosed location with the necessary tools to make your life a living Tartarus. You lost your rights the moment you were dragged in here.”

I glared at the bastard, but chose not to immediately tell him to remove the stick that was wedged so firmly in his ass when the talon pressed even more firmly against my jugular.

“Well! When you put it that way, how am I supposed to complain?” I asked as a million homicidal thoughts flashed in my mind, my heart once again warming as I tugged at the restraints in agitation. “So whaddya got to ask then, huh? Somethin’ about the weather? The world around us? The answer to life itself?”

“No. I’m here to ask about this.” He pulled one of my possessions out of somewhere I’m not going to even bother giving extended thought to.

“Hey! Gimme back my phone! I’ll make you regret it if anything happens to it!”

“What is this ‘phone’ you speak of? This odd object right here? Hmm,” he feigned thinking on my demand. “No. You will see the safe return of your phone when you answer what I have to ask. What is the primary function of this object?” he asked.

“Well you can shove it up your ass and it acts as a substitute vibrator. It’s a good gift to give to your girlfriend, or boyfriend. I don’t judge.”

The pony took the phone and smashed it into the ground.

I let loose an untamed cry of rage in response, pulling even harder against the bindings.

“I’ll fuckin’ kill you! Just you wait, when I get outta here I’ll tear out your goddamn throat, ya heard!?”

“All you have to do is answer my questions. Clearly this item is valuable to you; I wouldn’t want anything to happen to it if that is the case,” responded Barney, a small smile on his face.

“Put it down! Put down my phone! You bet’ not do anything more to it!” I shouted.

“Oh very well.” Barney then dropped my phone to the hard floor, an unnatural crack resonating within the confines of the little room we were all in. I looked down at the phone in shock. I could have maybe found a way to recharge it if this bastard hadn’t abused it in such a way.

I leveled a murderous gaze toward the maroon pony, him returning the stare with a much more neutral look. “If you will not tell us how to work this toy of yours, then I believe Hawkeye can force the information out of you. We could possibly sell this trinket for a sizable amount of bits if we were to find out how to use it.”

Barney turned to Hawkeye, whose dagger-hands hadn’t let up against my throat. “Hawkeye, ensure that he speaks. Any damage that becomes of him will be explained as him being in that state when we found him and took him in. I will leave this machine here so that you may test whether or not he is being truthful.”

For some reason, Tony looked deeply uncomfortable when Bitch Pony turned to him, looking from Hawkeye to me in anxiety.

“Come, Tony. Let us leave Hawkeye to her task,” said Barney.

“I-I dunno, Boss Man. Y’know she gets a bit…zealous when you promise her more bits. We may not have anything to trade but meat and broken tech if ya let her go about this unrestricted,” responded Tony as he glanced back at us.

“Heh. She’ll keep him alive, that I can guarantee. We all know creatures as exotic as this sell for quite a bit. Especially ones as unique as he is. She’ll restrain herself. Now come along,” he commanded as he led the blue pony to the door before pulling out a set of keys and unlocking it. I idly wondered why they would make doors that locked from both sides before a voice pulled me back into the present situation.

“Hawkeye! We are going to leave the two of you alone for a moment. Don’t make a mess, you and I both know that flesh is most valuable when it’s whole,” called Barney as he stepped outside along with Tony.

Hawkeye nodded to him in acknowledgement as he closed and locked the door.

“Well. Looks like it’s just you and me,” she said as she had once before, only this time it sounded much more dangerous.

I couldn’t help but gulp in trepidation, my stupidity and pride once again getting the better of me and making matters worse.

I couldn’t help but think to myself at that moment in time: ‘When am I going to learn?’