After his flashy introduction to his house, Queseque - who I’m now gonna simply call Q - walked up to the giant steel door and grabbed a handle that hung from it, lifting it up and slamming it into the metal about three times. I walked up behind him as what looked to be a green mare dressed in a frilly French maid outfit opened the door for him to allow him entrance.

You got no idea how much confusion racked my mind at the sight of a miniature horse dressed in such away. The dress ended just above her tail, making me wonder just what the hell the point of wearing the dress was if it wasn’t going to obscure anything important, and hugged her slim body tightly around her wings. The maid even had long white stockings on her forelegs and hind legs that covered up most of the fur beneath, prissy black shoes, and the maid cap to top the look off. Her brunette hair was tied into a neat little bun and her bright blue eyes moved between Q and I.

“Welcome, Sir Queseque Blanca. It is good to see you well,” said the maid in a soft tone that held latent admiration as she looked down at Q. “What brings you home so early?”

If a little after midnight for this guy was early, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of crazy lifestyle the tangerine-coated frat boy by my side lived in this tiny community.

Q scratched at the stubble lining his face, aiming his tired, yet excited eyes at the maid. A drunken smile stretched across Q’s face as he spoke. “Hey mamasita! Glad to see somepony missed me! I was gonna be out a lot longer, but I ran into this fella right here during my night on the town!” said Q as he pointed a hoof in my direction. The maid turned to me as he gestured in my direction.

“Sup?” I greeted as she gave me a quick once-over.

The maid chose to stay silent as she regarded me with distrustful eyes.

“I decided that since this was our unique friend’s first time being here in the great city of Sauna Pai, I should introduce him to some of the finer brews of Casa la Blanca! It’s a good idea, no?” Q said as he flashed the maid a smile.

“...” responded the maid.

She was still staring at me as she stayed silent, by the by, and it was beginning to get on my nerves.

I stared right back. “What’s wrong, girl? See somethin’ you like? Understandable, I guess. I am quite the catch, after all,” I teased, a slight smile on my face.

The maid’s gaze hardened as she still chose not to speak before her attention was again snatched by the stallion beside me.

“I promise you he won’t bite, Marzia. Isn’t that right, Ladarion?” asked Q as he looked up to me with an encouraging smile.

I shrugged as I looked down at him. “I was plannin’ on it, but you just went and ruined all the fun,” the stallion gave out a chuckle at that for some reason. “But since you said so, I’ll stay civil, I guess.”

With that said, Q turned his back to Marzia. “Well, Señorita Decocco? Is that to your liking?”

“Of course,” responded Marzia as she moved herself out of the entrance to the mansion.

“Make yourself at home, Sir Queseque Blanca,” she said as she waved a hoof, gesturing for us to walk inside before she turned her wary eyes to me as well. “And the same welcome extends to you, Mr. Ladarion.”

She only heard my name once and already used it with a professional amount of courtesy. Even if the ‘Mr.’ part pissed me off as much as it seemed to roll on her tongue like an overflow of salt - her expression as she said it was hilarious, too - I took it in stride, nodding to the mare as she cast her still-suspicious eyes at me.

I noticed Q kicking off what looked to be silver horseshoes on the lavish purple carpet that looked like the Magic Carpet from Aladdin before he continued walking forward, drunkenly singing a song that had no consistent tune.

I stepped into the mansion, observing the high-end interior. The floor was made of white marble that was broken up at intervals by red four by four diamonds that all formed a circular shape beneath an overhanging crystalline chandelier, with another circle of marble enclosing them within the space. The floor shone as though it was buffed mere seconds before I walked through the entrance, reflecting the low-intensity light quite well.

There were two flights of stairs that formed a semicircle on the far end of the palatial entrance hall, hugging the walls that were shaped to hold them. The stairs were covered with sumptuous purple cloth that was just as opulent as that of the Magic Carpet Q had carelessly dropped his horseshoes on, with fancy golden threads weaved into extravagant designs that made each step tell its own separate tale based off of artistic complexity alone.

Behind the polished oakwood volute newels that curled back into themselves time and time again rested two large vases, one behind each handrail. The vases stood at about twice the height of the average pony - and by average I mean excluding the tall sons of guns known as Saddle Arabians - and were made of what looked to be bronze or copper. Each vase had a story to tell about the Blancas, with farmers on a dirt field on a dark grey background on etched into the left vase and successful businessmen in a large house on a background of light blue on the right.

The handrails were held by dustless balusters coated with magnificent off-white paint and further up the stairs rested candelabras, each with three branches and one on both sets of staircases. Each candelabra held candlesticks that were all lit, the objects themselves being carved out of brownish copper. A great white pillar rested at the top of each step, out of the way so as to grant walking room, but still keeping the heavy ceiling from crumbling down in a way that reminded me of Atlas in Greek mythology as he held the sky on his shoulders.

Down the hall Q was walking down, there laid four more pillars set about in a quadrilateral shape, each keeping the second floor from falling down just as the pillars atop the stairs had done for the ceiling. Behind these pillars rested a grandiose dining room, with a rectangular table made of more polished oakwood and various decorations, such as a long purple cloth that ran down the length of it, legless wooden chairs with black leather padding that ran down the sides and two larger wooden chairs with purple leather padding at both ends of the table, more candelabras - three to be exact - set in intervals down the long surface, and steel plates and silverware set up at each chair. The ponies could even glance outside into the vast desert if they wanted, as there were three twenty foot tall windows barred with gold that they could gaze out of during their dinners.

As I stepped further into the house, ready to follow the lively pony, the maid stopped me with a small “Ahem.”

I glanced at her confusedly before she pointed down to my boots.

“You will have to remove your boots before you go any further, Mr. Ladarion,” she said, eyeing me contemptuously.

“You sure you want that?” I asked. “I can’t say I’m the most hygienic person at this moment.”

She continued looking at me expectantly, not moving a muscle as she kept her icy gaze on me.

“Well, be that way, then, girl. Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” I replied as I bent down to untie and remove my beat up Timberlands.

As I removed them, a putrid stench permeated throughout the room, assaulting the senses of the both of us. Marzia wrinkled her dainty muzzle as she caught wind of the odor, but other than that didn’t react the way I wanted her to. Damn mare was good at keeping her cool, I’ll give her that.

“I will take these to be washed right away,” she said as she picked up my boots in her hooves before moving them beneath her wings and walking off up the stairs.

I walked toward the large dining table after she left, there being a few guards stationed around the interior of the mansion. I passed them without a second glance as they stared forward like statues before actually making it toward the dining room.

Upon my entrance, I saw that adjacent to the dining room was a large kitchen - though it was out of use for now - that had a long desk allowing plates and other items to be exchanged over the counter and a wooden push-push door that gave any waiters access into and out of the kitchen.

Sitting in the large chair at the end of the table was none other than Queseque as he awaited my entrance.

“Come on, hombre. I want to introduce you to my old man before we start emptying his bar.”

“A’ight. Lead the way, then,” I responded.

Q hopped up out of the chair before walking to the other side of the dining room, opposite of the kitchen, where a door that led to a fireplace lay; the hearth was made of the same marble as the floor, there were shelves upon shelves stacked with collections of books by various authors from various species, and the entire place seemed to radiate a rather homely atmosphere. In comparison to the other rooms and areas of this house, this room was rather humble.

Q pushed the door completely open after knocking twice, revealing a bespectacled, red-coated earth pony with magnificent gray hair as he sat in a large black leather armchair that rested next to a nightstand. The pony had a pipe in his mouth that he puffed every now and again, with a gigantic, well-groomed moustache resting atop his mouth, and a purple cravat made of silk that was tied around a white button-up, a dark gray cardigan overtop his other clothing articles. In his strong hooves was one of the books from his generous selection, one that he seemed to be quite invested in as he slowly scanned over the pages.

What I assumed to be Q’s father looked up from his book with disinterested eyes as he heard the click-clacking of Q’s horsey hooves and the pit-patting of my human feet. His attention was taken by Q as he trotted right up to him.

“Ey, Papi! I brought some company over if you don’t mind!” said Queseque, pointing a hoof in my direction.

His father turned his hazel eyes to me as he took another puff from his pipe before closing his book to inspect me further.

“I can see that,” responded ‘Papi’ in a baritone voice with a rich Spanish accent somewhat heavier than his son’s before he spoke to me directly. “A rather tall one, you are,” he said, giving me an appraising look.

“Compared to most of everyone else here? Yeah, I can see why you’d say that,” I said.

“And you stink of odors most foul as well,” he continued, removing his pipe from his mouth.

I shrugged. “After going at least a week without a proper shower? Yeah, I can see why you’d say that,” I responded as I stuffed a hand into one of my cluttered pockets, rubbing a finger against the red stone Pai Mei gave me.

The father placed his book on the nightstand as he hopped out of his seat to rub his son’s head, sniffing the air before humming in disapproval.

“Mí Hijo, you have been out drinking again despite my warnings? One of these days, Queseque, you will learn why I discourage such things when you are in Sausa Pai after dark.” Q gave his father a small glare as he turned turned toward me, likely not too appreciative of being treated like a child in front of a stranger.

As Q muttered darkly while running a hoof through his disheveled mane, his father trotted toward me, taking another puff from his pipe as he planted himself in front of me and extended a hoof. “The name is Blanca. Nahive Blanca,” he said as he pulled out his pipe, foreleg still extended.

I looked down at him in surprise, shocked that he allowed a stranger that was quite literally pulled off the streets into a home as nice as his with no complaints. “Nice meetin’ you, Nahive. Name’s Ladarion,” I said as I grasped his hoof. Though he was up there in age, it was clear that he was no slouch when it came to physical activity. We shared a working-class handshake born of active lifestyles before pulling away from one another. “I’m here to drink your booze,” I said with a cheeky smile crossing my face.

“No. You are going to get out,” he said in response. Taken aback, I looked at him with confusion molding my expression before he took another puff of his pipe.

“Wha-? B-but Papi, you allowed that grave robbing mare here and all she does is take up space! Ladarion and I were planning on having a bit of fu-,” said Queseque before his father held up a hoof without looking at him, shutting him up. I was honestly wondering why he was so desperate to have me around…

“As I have stated before, Sr. Ladarion, you stink. You may have all of the alcohol you want from the bar after you bathe,” said Mr. Blanca, pulling out and opening a golden pocket watch out of one of his pockets. “I will give you thirty minutes. A maid will lead you to the bathroom.” With that, he closed the pocket watch and stuffed it back into his pocket, placing his pipe fully between his lips so that he could clap his hooves together, producing a loud, ringing noise.

Not even two seconds later, the ever pleasant Miss Decocco arrived at the door to answer Mr. Blanca’s call.

“How may I aid you, Mr. Blanca?” she asked demurely, narrowing her eyes at me when she noticed my presence.

“Take Sr. Ladarion to the upper suite; the one with the hot tub. Do make sure that he is scrubbed clean as well, will you? Queseque and I have something to discuss in the meantime,” said Mr. Blanca as he waved us away.

Before we got to the door, Mr. Blanca called Marzia once again. “Miss Decocco,” he asked. “Yes?” she responded. “Be sure to take this young stallion’s clothes to the wash, por favor. He reeks of sweat and shame.” “But of course, sir.”

Again the mare brushed past me, wrinkling her nose yet again as she smelled the musky scent only known by those with a will to survive. I let out a small snicker at seeing her expression as I moved to turn around. I slowed down though to eavesdrop on this other character that was apparently stopping by in La Casa Blanca, hearing a small bit of information before being forced to walk after the mare:

“Papi, you never listen to what I say! I don’t trust that mare. I don’t trust her occupation, her shady history, or her mannerisms. I don’t know why you are always allowing odd mares into our home, especially those cut from her cloth!”

“Queseque, mí hijo, she is an important business partner. She has brought a great deal of income our way for covering up the details of her job in this region, and I must admit that while she may hold an untamed beauty, I never have had those intentions. Your mother and I are married for a reason, after all…”

The voices faded as I increased the distance between myself and Mr. Blanca’s study.

“Come, Mr. Ladarion. We do not have all night.”

“A’ight, I’m comin’...”

We walked up the lavish, carpeted stairs and down a dimly lit hall, Marzia leading and me following. Every time I tried to strike up conversation the girl would either politely say the equivalent of shut up or ignore me outright. I almost forgot that she was a bitch, but that served as a healthy reminder, I suppose, so I kept quiet after about my third try to talk to her.

When we finally arrived at a door that was as posh as the rest of the mansion, I found myself thankful that we reached what I presumed to be our destination before the awkward silence that had built up between Marzia and I stretched on for too long.

The green mare pushed the door open, showing the spacious and snazzy interior; the floor was marble as it was everywhere else in this house, the walls were composed of white diamond-shaped tiles with golden outer edges, and the ceiling somehow emitted light without there being any light bulbs.

I’d’ve scratched my head at that if my attention wasn’t stolen by the large tub that sat in the middle of the room. Three steps that gradually descended into the tub circled around it - just imagine a dartboard and think of the circle the tub sat in as the bullseye - and were still made of marble. The tub seemed to have been built into the floor, with a smaller hemisphere with two golden knobs and a faucet being carved into the ground. This room was built oddly if you ask me. Who bathes without curtains or without a mirror or a proper sink or toilet in their bathroom?

I suddenly remembered that Mr. Blanca did indeed call this a bathroom when he told dear Marzia here to lead me here before nearly caving in my forehead with my palm. Damn rich people and taking everything too literally. The Blanca family actually had a room specifically built for bathing and bathing alone! C’mon!

I blinked out of my trance when I heard a throat clear impatiently beside me. I turned to find Marzia giving me a rather intense glare. I stared dumbly back at the mare, about half a minute passing before she moved to speak.

“Well? Are you planning on stepping into the bathroom before my hair greys, Mr. Ladarion?” she asked in an irritated voice.

I looked back at her disbelievingly. “Uh, what are you doin’?”

“I am holding open the door for you so that you may bathe, Mr. Ladarion.”

“Why?”

“Because that is my job, Mr. Ladarion.”

“Why?”

“Because I am paid to do my job, Mr. Ladarion.”

“Why?”

“If you do not stop asking why I am going to make you regret it.”

“...Why?”

The mare stomped a hind leg into the floor before shouting at me: “If you do not step into this bathroom this instant, so help me I’ll force your teeth down your throat!”

I jumped a bit at the outburst before an amused smile settled onto my face at the rage on hers, my heart once again glowing in response to her unadulterated anger. I held my arms up in a placating gesture. “Woah, there. Simmer down, girl. I was just wonderin’ why a woman is holding a door open for a man, is all. It’s supposed to work the other way around.”

“Will you hurry up and step inside?” she asked annoyedly.

“After you answer my question.”

“Because that is considered a gesture of politeness! It is simple etiquette, you stupid monkey! Are you so uncivilized that you do not know what is meant to be common sense!?” she barked as she let go of the door.

“I mean, yeah, I know what etiquette is, but it’s usually the man who holds the door open for the woman where I come from, ya dig? And there ain’t no need to be so racist, either. I’m a human being, not some simple primate. You sayin’ that ‘cuz I’m black or somethin’?” I asked, my smile dipping somewhat as my heart glowed a bit brighter due to my own anger rising at the mention of the word ‘monkey’.

“I do not care what you are, Ladarion. Will you stop being such a pain in my tail?” she asked through gritted teeth.

We both sat in tense silence for a minute as we stared hardly into one anothers’ eyes. I clenched my fists and she pawed at the floor like a bull ready to charge before a small bit of laughter sounded through the empty hall.

To my surprise, I realized that the sound was coming from me. The mare looked on in stunned silence as my laughter grew more hearty as a sense of untamed glee passed throughout my body. She allowed a small chuckle to escape from her after she got over her shock at hearing my own, soon joining me in a paroxysm of joy before she actually snorted. Our laughter quickly cut out as she covered her muzzle with a hoof, a slight blush painting her face as we looked each into each others’ eyes.

Eventually I started chuckling yet again, pointing at the mare as my delight once again returned.

“Haha! Y-you just snorted! Hahaha!” I fell against the wall, still laughing all the while before she spoke.

“Hmhm. I did didn’t I!?” she asked with a smile as hysteria once again took control of her body.

Our combined euphoria reverberated off the walls as I doubled over, Marzia now rolling on the floor in a completely unladylike fashion before she beated against the floor with a hoof.

When our laughter was reduced to chuckles and giggles, I pushed myself off the wall, helping the mare up off the floor and receiving a small “Thank you.” in return.

“Well, now that that’s outta the way, I’mma go an’ bathe right quick, ‘kay?” I said as I placed a hand against the door.

“Oh, nono,” responded Marzia, walking up beside me. At my questioning glance, she clarified her statement. “You see, it is proper form for the maid to wash any guests of Mr. Blanca’s house. It has been that way for generations, Mr. Ladarion,” she said in a less hostile tone than before.

I raised an eyebrow before speaking. “As much as I would like for a human maid to wash me all over, I don’t think I’m comfortable with allowing a stranger, especially those of a new species, to touch my unspeakables. You gonna have to break that tradition o’ yours, cuz the only person touchin’ me is me.”

As I tried to push the door open, the mare put a hoof in front of me. “Why so uptight, Mr. Ladarion? It is only a bath,” she said, another suspicious look in her eyes.

I sighed at having to explain such simple things as basic appropriateness to what may as well have been an uneducated woman. “It’s because where I come from there’s a thing we call modesty. You cover up your private parts or you get arrested for indecency, ‘cuz not everyone wants to see what you’re offerin’, ya dig?”

“No I do not ‘dig’ as you say. Why are you...humans? so restrictive against nudity? Here, nudity is a norm, as you have likely seen. You only need to wear uniforms for certain occupations, but otherwise are allowed to walk around as you please. Take my uniform for example,” she said as she gave a little twirl to show it off, me diverting my eyes so I didn’t see anything not PG-13. “This shows that I am a maid, but otherwise I go without any article of clothing. It is liberating.”

“Like I said, we humans don’t want to see what others got. Like what you said about proper etiquette earlier, we do it for the benefit of one another in a way. That, and clothing is a symbol of status where I’m from, as I’m sure works the same here. A bum dresses up more raggedly than a more wealthy and sharply-dressed member of Congress. That, and we don’t have sheaths and stand upright, meanin’ everything kinda hangs out in the open for others to see.”

“You have no sheath? Ah, well that makes some form of sense. You truly are a strange creature, Mr. Ladarion.”

“I get told that a lot, Cocoa,” I replied as I worked a kink out of my neck. “Listen, I like talkin’ about dicks as much as the next guy, but do you mind leavin’ me to my lonesome? I still don’t want you seein’ nothin’,” I said.

“I still must do my job, Mr. Ladarion. And did you just call me Cocoa? Really?” she asked with an unimpressed glare.

“Sure did, Cocoa,” I said, staring right back into her eyes. “I’ll let you in, but you don’t get to rub your hooves all over me like you were hopin’, girl.”

“Pfeh. You wish those were my intentions, human,” she said with an eyeroll.

I smiled at her response. “Look at us. Already fast friends, you an’ I.”

“I do not consider you my friend, Mr. Ladarion, nor will I likely ever. You are but a guest in Mr. Blanca’s house, meaning to take from him without giving back in turn.”

“You read me like an open book, girl. If there’s nothin’ else you remember about me, remember that simple statement, ‘cuz I ain’t gon’ be here for long.”

“Oh, thank the heavens.”

“Y’see? Already back to the jokes!”

“Who said I was joking?”

That shut me up for a second. “Touche, Cocoa. Touche."

With those words, I finally pushed the door open, the low light welcoming me inside as I drew toward the tub. I grew distinctly aware of how grimy I felt after not bathing for so long, but I aimed to remedy that in a moment.

Smiling to myself, I reached to pull off my shirt as I heard the door shut behind me before a voice pierced through my musing:

“Well, Mr. Ladarion? Strip.”

And like that, I was back in my high school locker room.

“W-what?” I asked, feeling my face heat up in embarrassment.

Marzia raised an eyebrow as she regarded me. “Undress, Mr. Ladarion. Do you understand what that means?” she asked as though she were speaking to a child. “The sooner you take off your clothing, the sooner I can take them to be washed. The sooner I can take them to be washed, the sooner I leave. I have other things I must do before I rest.”

The furnace that was my face only burned hotter as she said this before I sighed in defeat. “Fine,” I said as I quickly pulled off my hoodie and shirt before tossing them at her.

My body was nothing special; I used to do about a hundred push ups a day back at home, meaning that I had a chest that was slightly built. I hardly ever did crunches, though, so my stomach was flat with only the slightest hint of muscle. I had definition in my arms, but they weren’t anything compared to Barry Sanders’ in his prime. A faint glow rested where my heart was, the unnatural luminescence emanating past my skin like a weak flame.

Next to go off were my socks and belt. I removed my knife before taking off my belt, of course. When they were added to the growing pile of dirtied clothes, I began fishing around in my cluttered pockets. I pulled out my cracked iPhone and my red stone. The stone glowed faintly as it came in contact with my skin, making me feel a bit light-headed before I placed it on the floor with my phone and my knife.

I untied the sack o’ gold that hung from one of my belt straps and shook it slightly, finding comfort in the fact that when I got out of this accursed land, I’d be rich. That thought certainly took my mind off of the awkward situation I found myself in as Marzia patiently waited for me to remove my jeans. When I did, though...

“...” she said as she stared. Her eyebrow somehow raising itself higher along her forehead.

“What?” I asked in response as I looked down at myself. “Somethin’ wrong?”

Marzia cast an unimpressed stare at my lower body before speaking slowly. “Mr. Ladarion. What is that?”

“What, this?” I said as I placed a hand on the object she was describing.

“Yes, that.”

I rubbed the back of my neck as I looked away, feeling slightly on the spot. “Well, you see, these are what my people call basketball shorts, Cocoa. I tend to wear them underneath my jeans just in case I gotta run or somethin’. Sometimes I wear them simply so I don’t have to wear a belt.”

“But you have a belt, Mr. Ladarion.”

“True, but I just like wearin’ ‘em. It’s not like most people are gonna see me without my pants on anyway, ya dig?”

“What is with you and this ‘digging’?”

“It’s a manner of expression where I’m from.”

Marzia rolled her eyes. “Will you please hurry up, Mr. Ladarion. We don’t have all day.”

I jumped slightly, feeling uncomfortable with her in the same room as I did this. I looked in another direction as I pulled down my shorts and kicked them into the pile.

“Really?” Marzia said as I looked back to her in confusion. “Disregarding the hearts on your apparel, what is with all of the clothing?” she was growing impatient, so I did the one thing that helped me stay calm and collected in odd situations: I joked.

“Cocoa, if there is one thing you gotta know about my race it is this: Humans are like onions; they have layers.” It was lame, I know, but it helped me lighten the mood for myself.

“Hurry. Up.” Marzia narrowed her eyes as she said this.

“Okay, fine.” With that, I finally pulled down my heart-covered boxers.

A few minutes later, I was sitting alone in the bathroom, soaking up the lukewarm, sud-filled water in the tub. I had already thoroughly scrubbed myself clean and was now simply reveling in the feeling of the water and my restored cleanliness.

I thought back to the last few minutes with a smug smile on my face. Marzia’s expression was priceless. I didn’t know jaws could drop that low, to be honest. Seriously, who’d’ve guessed that much sand could fit in a guy’s underpants? It was unreal!

As she was out cleaning my clothes, muttering something about not being paid enough for her job before she left, I grabbed my phone off of the floor, toying with it in hopes of being able to possibly salvage something from it. I wanted to speak to my sister again to see whether she was okay. I didn’t want her worrying about my sudden disappearance for no reason, after all. I picked up the red stone and played with it, the object as cold as a corpse in the Antarctic.

After over two dozen tries to get my phone to show any sign of functioning, I was beyond frustrated, now realizing that I likely wouldn’t be able to speak to her until I returned. The thought angered me as my hand tightened around the red stone in my palm, the stone glowing just as brightly as my heart while I fumed. I grit my teeth as I felt a stinging pain nearly pull me from my thoughts, looking down to my palm to see the fist I had around the rock crackling with small amounts of red electricity that reminded me of the same electricity the spirit in the monkey caves had used.

Steam rose from my hand, the electricity turning the water to vapor. ‘When I get my hands on him…,” I thought to myself. ‘...I’ll make him regret the day he fucked with me and my stuff.’

A red hue bled into my vision, staining the world a frightening shade of crimson as I smelled the stink of searing flesh. Just imagining not having any chance at contact with my world made me feel even more angry and hopeless than I was, and I wasn’t in a forgiving mood after Barney deliberately severed the one link I had to my sister or anyone else on Earth.

My skull throbbed as the mad laughter I remembered from the forest once again echoed in my mind, this time louder than ever. I felt something writhing around in my head, nearly making me scream out in agony. I bared my teeth as my head pounded, reaching up to my face with the hand that wasn’t gloved in voltage to hold it.

As my pain escalated, so did the laughter and the force of whatever was swimming around in my head. More of my skin peeled from the flesh under the intense barrage of electricity as the intensity was upped, the red stone glowing its unholy glow yet again as I felt it sap the power out of my body.

A shout escaped from me as I felt my eyes nearly roll into the back of my head from the pain of it all. I didn’t hear the door open during my squirming, but as the crescendo of my agony reached its zenith along with the insane cackling, I heard a gasp sound from behind me.

Like that, everything began to feel somewhat fuzzy as the stone stopped sapping my energy away from me and my heart stopped glowing. I still smelled an odor akin to that of singed skin, but that was at the back of my mind at the moment as I came down from my terrifying high. At that moment, I decided I was going to find the deepest river in the land and toss the damnable stone into it to ensure I would never see it again.

I was startled out of my shocked state - no pun intended - when a salvo of hoofsteps ran up behind me and my head was pulled above the water. I didn’t even realize that I had managed to slip beneath the surface!

I coughed and sputtered, looking up into the frightened eyes of Marzia as she seemed to be about two seconds from freaking out. To be honest, after all that I was beyond scared too. I don’t like to admit that, but I was.

“W-what happened?” I asked, gasping for air.

“I’ve no clue! I walked in to tell you that I had towels for you, only to find you being electrocuted and falling into the water!” she was breathing quite heavily, likely from the adrenaline born from fear that she’d gained from seeing the unnatural spectacle.

“Oh,” I responded simply, still very caught up in the last few seconds.

“Since when did your eyes glow red, Ladarion?” she asked, moving my head in a way to make sure that I didn’t drown on any water that I may have inhaled while still staring at my face.

I coughed into a burnt hand, blinking as I felt the last of the red tint leaving my eyes along with the pain in my head being reduced to a dull headache. Before I could move to respond, the maid gasped again. “Mr. Ladarion, your hand! It-it’s seared! We must get you to the nurse right away!”

The pony attempted to pull me out of the water before I pulled away from her grasp. At her questioning glance, I pointed to the towels lying on the floor. She quickly nodded before moving over to the items and bringing them back to me, averting her eyes this time as I stepped out of the water to grab at them with my good hand.

I wrapped the largest of the two around my waist before actually drying myself off with the smaller towel to ensure I didn’t slip on any water I would have tracked through the house’s marble floors, my heart still glowing somewhat and my hand tingling in response. I decided to leave my sack o' gold and my knife behind for the time being, asking Marzia if she could send someone to put it somewhere safe. Luckily, she said there was a safe in the room that I was supposed to spend the night in and she told me she could get one of the guards on duty to deliver the items safely to my room after we visited the nurse's office.

Now fully dried, I nodded toward Marzia and she led me to our destination. I couldn’t help but shake my head at the fact that Nahive had actually put money into building a medical facility, no matter how small, into his house. His family must be rowdier than I’d thought for one to be needed.

I didn’t feel like asking anything of Marzia, considering I was still a bit shaken from the experience and she’d nearly witnessed what, to an outsider looking in, was attempted suicide. I still had my phone in my unharmed hand while the injured one still carried the stone.

I couldn’t remember bending down to pick the stone back up when I set it aside.

We made our way to the nurse’s office, Marzia politely knocking on the door despite the sign on the front saying “Cerrado”. Going off the fact that it was past midnight and that offices such as this tend to be closed after such a time, I wasn't guessing that the sign meant "Open". I could tell the maid was trying her best not to lose her composure after all that she’d seen, but I knew that if I were to bring it up, I’d likely cause the both of us to crack.

“Dios mio,” I faintly heard inside the room. “Coming, coming!” A few hoofsteps sounded against the marble floor on the inside of the room before the door was pulled open, revealing a short, pudgy mare with a physician lab coat thrown over her body and a stethoscope hanging from her neck. The mare had dark purple hair covering a horn protruding from her forehead that contrasted with her lighter lavender shade of fur, and seemed to be a good bit older than the young maid by my side, likely middle aged as she had wrinkles settling into her otherwise flawless skin. “Marzia! Can you not read what the sign says?” she asked impatiently, giving the maid a scornful glare.

“Y-yes, Mrs. Higher. I just had to tell you of an accide-,” Marzia blurted out before the nurse interrupted her.

“That’s Miss Higher. You know I’m no longer married. Now get on with what it is you must tell me,” she snarled before waving for Marzia to continue as she toyed with her stethoscope.

“W-well, you see, Mr. Ladarion here needs your help with-,” and again she was interrupted by the disruptive nurse as Miss Higher turned toward me.

“And who would this be?” she asked glancing up at me.

“Oh, this is-,” BOOM! Third time interrupted!

“Allow him to speak for himself, Marzia,” said Miss Holier-Than-Thou before she once again regarded me with irritated eyes, still toying with her stethoscope. “Well?”

I’d dealt with bosses like this in the past. Irritable, rude, and generally unpleasant to be around. I knew the drill, so I was sure to have the answer waiting on my lips for when the question was asked. “My name’s Ladarion, ma’am.” See? I can speak in a way that ain’t completely brainless.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Ladarion. You may call me Miss Higher.” She actually took her hoof off of her stethoscope for the first time since we’d met so she could offer it to me in a friendly gesture.

Surprised that she wasn’t slapping me or anything given her...heated nature from what I’d seen, I moved to grasp her hoof with my hand, shaking it lightly before releasing it so she could go back to messing with her stethoscope. “Now why are you here?” she demanded.

“I’m here for a check up. Sudden case of second-degree burns and the disturbing outcome thereof,” I said as I lifted my pinkish hand up for her viewing pleasure. Weird. I’m pretty sure the burns were worse than that earlier.

The nurse looked at the off-colored extremity before humming to herself. “Well, are you going to simply stand there or are you stepping inside?” she barked as she pushed the door open.

I wasn’t even willing to make a big deal out of her holding the door open for me this time, settling on quickly walking inside before she got any more annoyed.

The nurse turned back to Marzia. “Thank you for your aid, Marzia. Now go and do whatever it is you do around this place, for I I must now take it from here.” She shut the door before Marzia could get a proper response in, turning to me with a soft frown on her face.

“Now, Ladarion. This is what must be done concerning your injuries…”

Well, I could say what I want about Miss Higher, but she certainly knew how to do her job. She rubbed down the affected area with ointment - after wrestling the rock out of my hand - and wrapped it up with a few cotton balls, gauze, and white cloth wraps to go over the gauze.

I asked her how she was lifting objects up without touching them, slightly freaked out as I imagined her using the Force to choke me out if I did anything wrong, and she said the answer was magic or some shit. Not those words exactly, of course. When I noticed her horn was glowing and asked her about that, she once again said it was magic or some shit. Again, not those words exactly.

Finally, I asked her why she couldn’t simply use that “magic” of hers to simply heal my arm and be done with it. She answered me by looking into my eyes and telling me that I ask as many questions as her foals. I almost asked her what a foal was before she actually answered the question without saying magic or some shit.

“Eh, magic does not come by easily these days. The Princesses seem to have been drawing more and more of it out of the atmosphere over the past few years for whatever reason. Unicorns such as I cannot afford to throw what little we manage to gather over a given period of time away as we, along with all other creatures on Equus, require it to continue living. That would be wasteful, no?”

And again these “Princesses” were mentioned. Isn’t there usually just one princess in a monarchy? And where were the king and queen in all of this talk, is what I was wondering. On three separate occasions did I hear about these rulers: from the spirit in the cave, from Hawkeye when I was kicking her ass, and from little Miss Higher here.

None of their explanations about what was going on in this fair land seemed to be very positive. Each time I heard of them, it was talk of how they were preparing to defend against a foe, building weapons factories, or sucking up the life essence out of the atmosphere. They sounded like noble tyrants to me through hearsay, what with them wanting to ensure the safety of their citizens, but at the same time taking away what kept them breathing without their consent.

I didn’t need to concern myself with this world’s problems, though. I was going to get out of here soon enough anyway, so why invest my time in something I ultimately couldn’t control?

Now I was plodding through the hallway, my naked feet making funny slapping sounds against the cold marble floor as I looked around the mansion. I noticed a few more guards stationed at certain spots around the house, particularly Mr. Blanca’s study, deciding it wouldn’t hurt to ask them where the bar was.

Luckily these guys weren’t stuck up assholes, so thanks to them giving me directions, I made my way to the Blanca Bar - no seriously, that was its name - without a hitch a few minutes later. I know I had nearly died and all a few times since I’d gotten here, but right now I just wanted a good drink before I passed out due to exhaustion. The beer was free, after all, so I thought it’d be a crime to not drink any of it.

Upon my arrival, I noticed a tired, cream-coated stallion with a white apron tending to a bronze-colored pegasus with hair that was about fifty shades of gray. She wore a green button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and had what looked to be a pith helmet lying on the bar as she cradled a beer mug in her hooves and looked over what appeared to be a large map.

Looking around, I noticed that the place was a proper bar, with round tables and legless chairs in the middle of the room and rectangular tables built into the walls with cushioned black seats on both sides of each table. I was surprisingly able to enter without ducking my head before I was stopped by a familiar voice.

“Eh, ese! It’s good to see that you could make it!”

I turned to see Queseque smiling and waving at me from one of the tables with the cushioned chairs, a keg in his hand and another waiting across from him on the opposite side of the table, likely for me.

I moved over to the pony, still looking to the mare to notice her attention was broken from her map at Q’s obnoxious shouting before she looked to me, her rose-tinted eyes widening. These ponies’ eyes come in every color of the color spectrum.

“Ey, whattup, Q,” I said by way of greeting as I sat down in front of him. “This is for me, I presume?” At his nod, I placed my lips to the keg before downing it in one go. What can I say, I wanted to get a bit of a buzz on after all of my stress in Happy Pony Land. The beer went down smoothly at first, tasting a bit like uncarbonated ginger ale before heating up and fizzing as it hit my stomach.

“Daaamn, L,” said Q, staring at me with disbelieving eyes. “Quite the drinker you are!”

I felt a pair of eyes still on me, looking over to see that the pony I then called Monochrome Rainbow was still looking at me, her tearing her eyes away as she noticed me staring back at her.

I looked back at Queseque before coughing harshly. “Would it surprise you if I said I wasn’t much of a drinker back at home?” I asked in between coughs.

Q smiled before chugging his own drink down in one go, it seeming to go down a lot more smoothly down his gullet than it did my own. Queseque sighed as he finished his beer. “Ah~. It’s good, no? The finest brew in the land, I say! Gharfeld Groves’ Grip, it’s called. It may not be tasteful, but it surely separates the stallions from the colts, and you, mi amigo, are now officially a stallion!” said Q as he reached across the table to pat me on the shoulder.

“Oh, and where are your clothes, ese? I was growing used to seeing you in them, so it is a bit odd to see you without.”

“Cocoa went on and took ‘em to the wash. They was stinkin’ up a storm, so I’m glad she did so. That, and I finally got a good bath. I’m squeaky clean now!” I said as I rubbed my forearms, failing to properly run my hand over my bandages.

“What’s happened there, L?” he said pointing to my damaged arm.

“Oh, this? Pfeh, just shocked myself in the tub bein’ idiotic an’ all. No biggie,” I said, giving him the biggest, fakest smile I could muster.

Q’s eyes hardened as he saw right through my thinly-veiled half-truth. “Uh huh,” he said, slowly nodding his head. I began sweating a bit at the sudden change from friendly to suspicious, but luckily was spared from any more interrogation at the sound of chuckling. “I’m just playing with you, ese! It’s nothing to be worried about, we’re just friends talking over beer. It’s not like we’re enemies or anything, y’know?” he said with that same friendly smile that seemed to be perpetually attached to his face.

“Yeah. Friends, hehe…” I responded as I once again felt myself rubbing my fingers across the surface of the red stone. “But don’t you worry, I went on an’ got it all sorted out as you can see.”

Q chuckled once again. “Hmhm. Yeah, I can see that you visited the lovely Miss Higher. Tell me, how did that go?” asked Queseque as he leaned his cheek onto a hoof.

“Well, she certainly is...assertive.”

“So by that you mean she is a bit of an, uh, how you say? Oh yes! The female diamond dog!”

“The female what?” I questioned with perplexity.

“A bitch! She is a bitch is what you mean to say!” Wow, talk about obnoxious and rude. I’d been thinking that, but I’d never say it out loud, especially in polite company that I only barely know.

“Yeah. That.” I responded, looking around to make sure no one else in the room heard his little outburst. Considering that he said it so loud, I’m assuming the other two were accustomed enough to ignore him, as they simply continued going about their business, the stallion cleaning shot glasses and the clothed pegasus looking over the map.

“Yeah, Cocoa also took me there to make sure I was alright. I gotta thank her despite her somewhat cold behavior earlier, cuz she’s really helped out since I’ve been here.

The stallion’s smile widened as he leaned forward with a teasing tone. “Cocoa? I see you’ve given the nice maid a little pet name~.”

“Oh no! It ain’t nothin’ like that! I jus’ tend to give people I know nicknames. Makes gettin’ to know them easier.” My face began heating up, and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t because of the booze.

The smile on Q’s flushed face stayed just as wide as it was despite my explanation, though. “Yes, I’m sure it does help you get to know others better, L. That’s why you nicknamed her.” This conversation was going in a weird direction quick and I didn’t like the destination, so I chose to tactically change it the one way I could: refilling my beer.

“I gotta get a refill,” I said, shaking my empty keg to emphasize my point. The stallion let out a small chuckle before calling out my name.

“Ladarion!” he whispered sharply, all the joviality in his tone gone as it took a strange turn toward the serious. “You see that mare over there?" he pointed to the gray-haired mare. "Be careful around her. She does not give me the most positive of vibes.” I acknowledged him with a nod before turning to walk to the bar.

I sat down on one of the undersized stools as I spoke to the cream-coated bartender, who was looking at me with trepidation as I approached, slowing his shot glass cleaning to a near halt.

“Yo, I need a quick refill,” I said, pointing to the keg in my bandaged hand before placing it on the counter.

“W-what would you like? We’ve got Cherry Blossom, Fridge Freeze, Sweet Salamander, and a plethora of other beverages to choose from,” he said with a nervous hint to his voice.

I waved a hand, him watching the movement with great apprehension. “I’ll take anything, bro. Surprise me.”

I felt a pair of eyes drilling a hole into the side of my head yet again, turning to find the mare quickly glancing back at her map, running her hoof over random locations that held no significance to me to make it seem as though she had never looked up.

As the bartender came by and refilled my keg with an orange liquid that shimmered slightly, I tapped the mare’s shoulder as I thanked him. When she froze and looked up at me again, I held out my keg, attempting to strike up small conversation with her to see why Q was so wary of her.

When she got the meaning of my intrusion, she lifted her own keg up and bumped it up against mine.

“Cheers,” I said before downing the drink, the alcohol leaving a spicy tinge in my throat.

“Cheers,” she responded as she downed hers as well.

“Ah~,” she contentedly hummed.

“This some good shit,” I said as I resisted the urge to cough once again. The mare gave me a questioning glance at that. “What?”

“That’s an odd saying, is all,” she answered, looking back down to her paper. The pegasus had a rather raspy voice that was deeper than that of the average female, but still feminine enough for me to easily tell the difference.

“So what are you here for?” she said, not looking up from the map.

“Where? Here at the bar? I’m here for a couple o’ drinks,” I replied, trying to be evasive of her question.

Unfortunately she seemed to see right through my innocent facade. “No. Here as in here. Why are you sitting next to me?” she asked, finally looking up to meet my eyes.

I looked around the room, feeling like a complete idiot for even attempting this. “No reason. I jus’ saw you lookin’ at me from across the way and thought I’d introduce myself. The name’s Ladarion,” I said, extending a hand.

The pegasus seemed to curse under her breath at my noticing her furtive glances, moving to place her hoof in my hand to shake it roughly. She nearly tore my arm out of its its socket.

“Daring Do, at your service,” she said, now giving me her full attention as she placed her keg on the table before laying both forehooves on either side of it.

“Jesus! What kinda workout regimen are you on, Ms. Do? Nearly murdered me by just shakin’ my hand!” I said as I rolled my shoulder to keep my arm from going numb.

That actually got a chuckle from the otherwise straight faced mare, her stoic expression giving way to a friendlier grin as she fully turned to regard me. “Well, I am an author. It means I get a lotta work in with this hoof,” she said. “And don’t call me Ms. Do. It makes me feel older than I already am.”

I looked up at her in disbelief after working the feeling back into my arm. I already had a burn there, I didn’t need it torn off too. “You’s a writer?” I asked, my feelings about that evident on my surprised tone.

“Well, yeah,” she said, the small smile growing larger at the expression on my face. That, and likely because she knew she was the reason I was in pain at the moment. “I don’t discuss it with anypony, but I narrate my own stories based on my adventures...under a pseudonym, of course.”

“Wait, then why are you tellin’ me this information so quickly?” I asked, puzzled at what seemed to be a faux pas.

“You’re not a pony, now are you?” she asked.

“True...but what are these ‘adventures’ of yours?” I asked in response.

Daring called for a refill for the both of us, asking for “the strong stuff” before turning back to me.

“Well, this is Sauna Pai, and I doubt you’re gonna be able to do anything relevant with this information. So strap yourself in, cuz we’re gonna go for a ride! A ride into the life of a treasure hunter…”

I looked back at Q’s spot, seeing that he was gone, the beer keg still at his seat. I shrugged as I listened in to Daring’s story, somewhat intrigued that she was a treasure hunter and also wanting to see exactly why Q distrusted her so much.

There were many stories told, and much beer was downed, but I still gotta say that this interesting turn certainly made up for all of the hardship I was put through thus far…

Author's Notes:

Thanks for reading, guys. See y'all in the next installment.