“—and this is the guest room,” Igneous Rock said to Tarnished Teapot in a low voice that sounded as though it was full of gravel. He leaned in a little closer to Tarnish, his face stern. “You ever hear those jokes about farmers’ daughters and the terrible things that farmers do to colts and stallions that mess around with their daughters?”

Gulping, Tarnish nodded.

“All those jokes come from a grain of truth. My daughters are the most valuable, most precious, most important thing I have. Be respectful. So far, I like you. I like that you seem to make Maud happy. I like that you are well mannered. I like that you said please and thank you to my wife. Don’t make me not like you. Am I clear?” Igneous’ eyebrow lifted with a creeping slowness.

“Yes sir, I understand,” Tarnish replied.

“We get up real early round here. Real early. I’ll expect you up early as well, so be well rested. There is a lot of work to do and a broken leg is no excuse. There are other things you are capable of.” Igneous peered at Tarnish. “I hope you like your room. Now come and eat.”

The food was simple fare, but there was a lot of it. There were potatoes, both fried and mashed, fresh coleslaw, hot buttery corn, peas, and carrots. There were also fried oatcakes, which Limestone announced was her most favouritest food ever.

Tarnish had no idea what a fried oatcake was, but had found out that it was leftover oatmeal that had been hardened into a brick, thick sliced, dipped in egg, rolled in flour, and then fried in hot peanut oil. Limestone flipped one onto his plate from across the table, earning her a stern look from her father. Tarnish felt a little nervous but then he saw Limestone flip an oatcake at her father’s plate.

After a moment of consideration, Tarnish reached the conclusion that Igneous was stern but not hard. He saw Igneous give his daughter a half hearted smile and then Limestone, who seemed to be some kind of expert, flipped another oatcake across the table, this time at Maud’s plate.

“Thank you,” Maud replied in monotone to her far more animated sister.

“Limestone can flip a flapjack onto a plate at fifty paces. She’s a hit at the Rock Haven flapjack suppers,” Cloudy Quartz said to Tarnished Teapot in a proud mother’s voice.

“Still not as good as Granny Pie or Nana Pinkie.” With a flick of her spatula, Limestone launched a fried oatcake at her mother’s plate. It landed in the dead center of the plate.

“Never stop trying,” Igneous grumbled to his daughter as he began to scoop mashed potatoes onto his plate. He passed the bowl of mashed potatoes to his wife and then looked over at Tarnish as he picked up the bowl with corn, peas, and carrots. “So, Tarnished Teapot, what do you do for a living? You seem a bit young.”

“I was a courier, but then I did something stupid,” Tarnish replied.

“I’m taking him on as a research assistant.” Maud turned and looked at her father. “Look, daddy, we all know how you feel about unemployed deadbeats, layabouts, and self aggrandising showmares named Trixie Lulamoon. Tarnish isn’t like that. He just needs a bit of time to find his place in the world.”

“At least you have the gumption to admit that you did something stupid, that’s admirable,” Igneous said as he passed the bowl of corn, peas, and carrots to his wife. He eyed Marble as she dug into the bowl of coleslaw and filled up half of her plate with it. “I respect that. Colts and fillies these days have no sense of accountability. They want to blame their parents, their hard sob story lives, they want to blame everypony and everything but themselves. It’s nice to hear you say that you did something stupid.”

“He certainly did.” Maud’s ears were splayed out sideways and she looked at Tarnish. “Do something stupid, that is. But Tarnish hopefully has a few brain cells he can rub together.”

“I liked courier work. I liked the exploration and the feeling of danger. I liked the feeling of accomplishment I had when I came in from a mission and turned in my ticket. I was kinda good at it, I think. I don’t know. Normally, your cutie mark determines your career, but I don’t know what I am supposed to do to be honest.” Tarnish lifted up the spoon in the fried potatoes that had been pushed in front of him and began to scoop some out onto his plate.

Cloudy Quartz leaned over and pushed the bowl of corn, peas, and carrots over to Tarnish. “You’re still young, dearie, try not to worry about it. For now, hard work will carry you through until you can figure out what it is that you want to do.”

“Or, you know, he could use his mind. That’s okay too.” Maud looked at her mother as she cut off a piece of fried oatcake with the side of her fork.

“Maud, darling, you use your mind for your work and you are one of the hardest workers I know,” Cloudy replied.

Maud blinked and then stuck her fork into her mouth. She chewed on her bite of hot fried oatcake with a glacial slowness. After chewing for a while, Maud shrugged, swallowed, and then said, “It doesn’t feel like hard work.”

“I crossed the alkali salt flats in the middle of the day on a delivery run. I don’t know if that is hard work, but it took some determination.” Tarnish loaded up his plate with coleslaw and then pushed the bowl back into the middle of the table.

“That’s hard work, make no mistake,” Igneous said before he took a bite of corn, peas, and carrots. He looked at Tarnished Teapot as he chewed, his eyebrow raised. He swallowed and then pointed his spoon at the colt across the table. “That takes some spine. Spine. Something that Trixie Lulamoon character was lacking.”

Without knowing why, Tarnish felt like a million bits all of sudden. It was a stunning, stupefying feeling and Tarnish didn’t know how to deal with the sudden rush of emotion. He fell silent and began eating in earnest, not knowing what to say or how to respond, or even how to feel about what had been said to him.

Cloudy Quartz glanced at her husband and then at Tarnish with a broad smile upon her muzzle. “Tarnish, I do hope you will make yourself at home. Try to eat as much as you can. You look far too thin. I do hope you will like it here…”

Author's Notes:

You know, I wish you could put adventure and slice of life on the same story. What are heroes supposed to do when they come home? What about adventurous ponies like Daring Do when they come and give a lecture on the archaeology circuit?

It's stoopid.