It's OK to Be a Pony

by David Silver

First published 22nd of May, 2015

Lyra Heartstrings, transformation specialist and social worker for those who believe they were not born ponies. These are her therapy sessions, both in group and in private.

Lyra Heartstrings, transformation specialist and social worker for those who believe they were not born ponies. These are her therapy sessions, both in group and in private.

With a little gentle guidance, these lost souls can rediscover the joys of being a pony, and let go of their foolish ideas. What sorts of trauma would drive anypony to throw away their identity?

1 - Work is Rough

Lyra slumped onto her couch with a loud sigh, but she wasn't alone. Her cherished other half was there, and slipped a chocolate into her snout. Lyra gently chewed a moment, letting the delicious blend of flavors dance across her tongue. "You're too good to me, Bonny. You wouldn't believe the day I had today."

Sweetie Drops, known more affectionately as Bon Bon or Bonnie, settled down beside Lyra. "Tell me all about it." She was always so supportive. Lyra couldn't even express how deeply she loved the mare. She leaned over and kissed her between the eyes.

"Well, get this. This stallion walked in with this huge frown on his face. He was ordered to see me after he made a big fuss in the market, ya know? He wanted meat, raw meat!"

Bon Bon stuck out her tongue in distaste. "Yuck! What for? Did he have a pet? He should have gone to Fluttershy for that."

Lyra held up a hoof. "One sec, just remembered. This is supposed to be secret." Bon Bon just watched her quietly, and her resolve broke quickly. "Oh alright, don't twist my arm about it! So no, he doesn't have a pet. He wanted to cook it up and eat it himself."

Bon Bon shuddered with revulsion. "Blech!" She pulled another chocolate out of her bag and popped it into Lyra's snout out of sympathy. "That's just awful. Why?"

Lyra pointed at herself with a hoof, chewing the chocolate quickly. "That's what I'm paid to find out. So I sat him down and asked for his name. Thomas Peterson. What kind of name is that? I tried to get his real name but he wouldn't give it, so I went on. I saw he was a unicorn, did I mention that yet?"

Bon Bon shook her head, watching and listening with rapt attention.

"Yeah, OK, so he's a unicorn, so I ask him how much training he's had with magic. You know how it is. Some of the most talented unicorns get a few screws loose upstairs." Lyra swirled her hoof beside her head in a symbol of insanity. "But get this, he doesn't even know how to use magic at all. He can't even pick things up! When I ask where he went to school, he gets really agitated. He says he's from some place called 'Amareica' or something, and they didn't teach unicorn magic there. Kind of a lousy school if you ask me."

Bon Bon tapped her chin thoughtfully. "What if he's not from there? I never heard of Amareica before."

Lyra pointed at Bon Bon. "Exactly! That's what I was thinking. He starts complaining about how he isn't 'really' a pony. 'I was born something else.' And he describe this thing with only two legs, and wriggly things at the ends of all its hooves that it uses to grab things? Fingers! Like diamond dogs and minotaurs."

Bon Bon tilted her head. "And dragons, like Spike? He has fingers, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, like those." Lyra smiled with pride at her clever marefriend. "So I look him over for transformation magic, you know, he could be telling the truth right? But there's nothing there. No magic at all, besides the usual stuff. So I figure he's obviously traumatized by something, so I just get to talking with him."

Bon Bon leaned in, nuzzling into Lyra's cheek gently. "Did you get through to him?"

"Not so fast." Lyra sighed. "It was only the first session. He left pretty huffy about the whole thing, but I'll keep at it. Poor guy, he looks so lost and scared. I hope I can get to him."

Bon Bon smiled encouragingly. "If anypony can, you can, my lovely Heartstrings. Dinner's almost ready." she slipped to her hooves and trotted towards the kitchen. "I'll call you when it's done."

Lyra settled comfortable into her chair and reached for a cup of tea Bon Bon had left for her. She ruminated on the conversation as she sipped. That stallion had been so convinced, but he was obviously so lost and panicked. What would it be like to forget you were a pony? Lyra did not envy the stallion, and frowned with thoughts of how to make progress the next day.

Yes, she'll start with his parents. Were they both unicorns as well, or did he block their memory out with thoughts of the biped he thought he was? Lyra frowned a little in thought. It would require a gentle approach. She didn't want to come across as accusing him, or doubting him, even if she did. She pushed herself from the chair and trotted across to the bookshelf, pulling out a tome of exotic creatures and flipping through in an idle search.

She found no small selection of biped species. Fewer were both furless and scale free. Fewer still also had fingers. Ultimately she narrowed the options down to two possible matches. Not that she thought he was either of these two, but knowing the workings of his delusion may help to free him of them, so she studied the ways of the wood sprites and the humans. Hadn't he said something about humans? He was speaking rather quickly at first and she couldn't be sure, but it was a start at least.

If she didn't help him, who would? The idea of the poor stallion being thrown out onto the streets just to get into trouble again, likely much more severe, it made her heart ache with sympathy.

Lyra Heartstrings was on the case.

2 - Group Session

Lyra sat in a circle with six other ponies. They were, beside Lyra, united in the belief that they were not really ponies, despite the physical and thaumic evidence to the contrary. The room was well lit, and a small table was set to the side with little cookies donated by Sugarcube Corner and chocolates provided by her marefriend.

"This is a safe place," began Lyra. "Nothing you say here will leave these walls. You're not here to be judged, and I ask that you not judge others. We're here to talk, and to support. Let's go around the circle and introduce ourselves. I'll go--"

One of the ponies, an earth tribe, rose to his hooves with an angry glare. "I'm not crazy! I don't need to be here!"

Lyra waved her hooves in a gently placating motion. "Nopony is accusing you of being crazy, Sam. No judgment, remember? Now then, please sit down, and I'll introduce myself." Of course, all the ponies present knew who she was, but it was the first group session, and she approached it fresh. Sam settled with a grumble.

"I am Lyra Heartstrings. I used to play the lyre in a philharmonic, but found helping other ponies to be more rewarding." She gestured to her flank. "I see not all of you have your cutie mark yet. Just remember that it is a guide, not a jail." She gestured at Sam. "Will you go next, and we'll keep going around?"

Sam grunted softly. "My name's Sam. Not Tree Leaper or Sweets mcCakesalot, or whatever fancy name ponies like. I was a truck driver until I fell asleep at the wheel and went off the edge. When I hit the bottom, I woke up at the bottom of the town well. They fished me out and here I am." He sat with a thump, looking to the next pony.

The pegasus rose to his hooves. He had striking purple fur with yellow mane and tail. His mane was elegantly groomed and coiled, and his tail had several bands that kept the fur tight to it. "I'm Steven. I was a photographer. My, uh, arrival wasn't so dramatic. I was just taking pictures on my own one day and fell asleep in the grass. It was a nice day, you know? I woke up with wings just outside of town."

Lyra had to look down to see this pony. She was a little filly with bright and sparkling fur. Being a crystal pony, this was entirely natural. "Don't be shy, we're just getting to know each other today."

She frowned with a seriousness that didn't belong on a young face. "Right... I'm Lucy, and I was a teacher for over twenty years, shaping young minds to hopefully succeed in the world. Now here I am, I just wake up one morning too young to do anything, and what am I even?" She spread her hooves wide. "I'm a giant walking ball of glitter!"

Steven raised a hoof. "I think one of those charms you hang in the window to catch the light would be more accurate."

Lucy was not amused by the observation. "I feel simultaneously soft as fur and hard as a rock, and there's no rhyme or reason to it. None of this world makes any sense!" The circle murmured with encouragement while Lyra pondered how a child could lose so much faith in the entire world. Perhaps parental abuse?

The next pony was the unicorn Lyra had mentioned to Sweetie Drops. "I'm Thomas. I worked at a butcher."

Lyra interrupted. "Thomas, what is a butcher?"

Thomas raised a brow at Lyra. "I told you once before, but in case the others don't know, it's where you process meat, then sell it. I cut up carcasses of all kinds of things for people. So, anyway. I get a strange box in the mail, open it up, bright flash, bam, here I am. Not a hamburger to be seen for miles." The other ponies made soft noises of sympathy.

The next was a female pegasus. She put a hoof to her chest. "I'm Samantha, nice to meet you gentlemen."

"Gentlecolts," corrected Lyra softly.

"Gentlemen," said Samantha with emphasis, to Lyra's chagrin. She cleared her throat and continued. "I was a waiter for a nice place. One of the customer asked me if I wanted a big tip. Of course I did, and he left a huge wad of bills on the check."

"What are bills?" asked Lyra with a roll of a hoof.

Samantha sighed. "Paper bits. Anyway, I grabbed it up, but when I went to count it later, between one bill and the next, bam, I was a pegasus, mid-flight even! You can't imagine how terrifying that was. I even made a crater when I hit the ground. I still don't know how I didn't break anything."

The next was a stallion earth pony. "Hi! I'm Shattered Stone." Lyra had high hopes for this one. He had a nice pony name and everything. "I was once a human, but now I'm a pony, and I'm OK with that. I'm stronger, healthier, faster. I miss having hands, but I get to be naked all the time and nopony cares, and getting a date is super easy."

Lyra nodded supportively at Shattered. "Weren't you looking for a date last weekend? How did that go?"

Shattered smiled widely. "Oh she was great! We shared roasted oats together, and we watched the stars just after sunset. Then I leaned in and nibbled her ear--"

Sam snorted loudly. "Enough of your bestiality. Let's move on."

The last was a mare, an earth pony. She squirmed a bit in place, looking shy. Lyra smiled at her. "No judgments, remember? Let's start with your name?"

"Uh... Darrell..."

The other ponies reacted oddly to Lyra. They seemed surprised by her name. Sam vocalized the concern. "That's not really a girl's name."

"I... I'm not really a girl... I was definitely a guy before, and a human. I..." She closed her legs quite purposefully. "I just want to go home."

Noises of sympathy rose up from the circle, and when she began to sniffle and tear up, Samantha leaned over and hugged her. Lyra smiled internally, walls were coming down and bonds were forming, this was good!

Lyra nodded her head. "I said we weren't here to doubt today, and I meant it. For today, I will assume everything you've all said is true, but I want to talk about the present, not the past." With some magic, she pulled a mirror free of the closet. It was a tall mirror that had wheels on its base. She pulled it over to rest in front of Sam. "What do you see?"

The earth pony named Sam peered into the mirror a moment before snorting. "I see a horse that can talk."

Lyra nodded. "A pony. You are a pony, right now, yes?"

Sam gave a hesitant nod. "I am a pony."

Lyra smiled, internally rejoicing at getting him to admit that he was a pony, even tenuously. He grunted and shoved at the mirror. "But I wasn't a pony before."

Lyra shook her head. "We're not talking about the past anymore." She clucked her tongue. "No matter how much I want to be a filly again, I won't be. I'm an adult now." She pulled the mirror before Thomas. "What do you see?"

Thomas frowned sharply. "I see a butcher in a unicorn's body, and he looks hungry for a juicy steak, medium-rare."

Lyra made a soft negative noise. "Meat doesn't work well in ponies. What happened last time you tried some?"

Thomas crossed his forelegs. "It tasted great..."

"And then?"

Thomas shrunk in place. "I had the shits something awful." His voice was low and cowed.

Lyra nodded. "So does that pony really want a steak?"

Thomas grit his teeth with obvious defiance, and was silent.

Lyra let him be and moved the mirror along to Samantha. "What do you see?"

Samantha spread her wings. "I see a pretty pegasus, and a confused human waitress. Don't get me wrong, if I had to be a pony, at least I think I'm a nice looking one, but I want to go back to humanity, thank you."

Lyra nodded softly. "But, for now, you are a pegasus, a pretty pegasus. Is that bad?"

Samantha shook her head a little. "I can live with it, for now, but I want to go home. My boyfriend probably thinks I died, to say nothing of my family. They probably threw my stuff on the street!" Noises echoed with sympathy.

Lucy cringed when she came in view of herself. "I see a disco ball."

Lyra raised a brow. "Really?"

Lucy shook her head. "I suppose not, they don't have legs or eyes. I know where this is going. Fine, I see a young pony or whatever I am." She crossed her forelegs petulantly.

Lyra considered skipping Darrell, she had severe self-image issues, but it would make her alienated to be skipped, so she rolled it before her. "What do you see?"

Darrell shrank at the sight of the scared and lost mare. "I'm not a girl!" She flopped out of her chair and splayed out on the ground. "I want my junk back! I want my hands back!"

Lyra shook her head. "Transformation magic is very short-lived, unless performed by a very talented magician, and even then it typically requires more energy than a unicorn can hold at once, making it quite a feat. Now, Darrell, if you sit up and tell me what you see, I'll give you a treat."

Darrell pushed up to her hooves and looked at the mirror with a powerful shudder. "I see... a woman."

"Mare," corrected Lyra.

Darrell bit her bottom lip a moment. "M-mare..."

Lyra pulled a special chocolate out of a pouch at her belt and levitated it to Darrell. Darrell recognized it and snapped it out of the air, going quiet. Bon Bon's super special treats were a force to be reckoned with, and the other ponies looked jealous at the gift. Lyra moved the mirror before Shattered Stone. "And last but not least, what do you see?"

Shattered Stone puffed out his chest. "I see a healthy and virile stallion, ready to take on the world." Lyra smiled. If she could get him to let go of his ridiculous past, he would be cured. She almost wanted to just let him go as it was, but his dangerous amnesia towards pony laws and customs had to be treated first.

"Very good. I think you all made some progress today. It doesn't feel like much, but we're taking it slow and easy. Let's take a moment to congratulate one another." Lyra slipped to her hooves, and so did the others. Half-hearted claps on the shoulder were given, and slowly they dispersed.

Shattered lingered behind, watching Lyra. "Say, are you busy tonight?"

Lyra smiled patiently. "I have a marefriend. I'm not interested, but thank you. Besides, doctor-patient relations and all that stuff."

Shattered rolled a hoof. "I won't tell if you won't."

Lyra pointed to the door. "See you next Wednesday."

He took the hint and departed. Perhaps there was more work to be done with him than she originally thought.

Author's Notes:

Lyra does a group session to draw these not-ponies out of their shells. How effective is it?

3 - Consulting with Royalty

Twilight settled in Lyra's office, her eyes wandering and taking in the decor. She spotted the license from Canterlot Mental Health that declared Lyra to be an accredited helper of the mind. "So, how's the new job going?"

Lyra shook her head. "A little crazy, pun intended. I want to call it a group delusion. They all think they were humans at one point, but they're all definitely ponies now."

"Human?" Twilight tilted her head a bit. "I thought those only existed beyond the mirror portal."

Lyra's monocle fell from her face. "They're real?"

Twilight grabbed the monocle with her magic and lifted it back into place. "Yes, but they don't exist in Equestria. I really shouldn't say more."

Lyra frowned sharply. "Princess Twilight Sparkle, I need to know this, for their sake. Please."

Twilight seemed to consider a moment before she nodded. "Very well. There's a portal in the Crystal Empire that leads to a world of humans. I visited it, twice. I don't recommend the trip, but I made some friends."

Lyra nodded slowly. "Alright, so, is it possible for a human to just 'fall' into Ponyville?"

Twilight shook her head quickly and waved a hoof. "Impossible. You have to go through the portal. If they came from there, they'd be in the Crystal Empire, not Ponyville. If your ponies claim to just... appear here, I couldn't say how that would work. My personal portal has been deactivated and not even in one piece since the last time I visited, so it's not that."

Lyra scowled. "Would there be... evidence, one way or the other?"

Twilight bit her lower lip, thinking hard. "I never tried bringing a human back through the portal to see what would happen. We've had ponies go both ways, but no humans."

Lyra nodded slowly. "One of them keeps asking for a 'hamburger'."

Twilight brightened. "I remember those, they were delicious."

Lyra went pale. "You realize that, if my patient is accurate, is made of meat?"

Twilight went green and gagged. "Oh Celestia! Well it didn't taste like meat?" Not that Twilight had any idea what meat should taste like. "Maybe your patient is crazy after all. Meat, hmmph. Why would they serve that in a school?"

Lyra nodded, feeling better about the situation. "They must have read the same book on humans I did and just started making things up. There's no sign of magical tampering or lingering enchantments of any kind on them. They're perfectly healthy ponies, aside from a few of them not having a cutie mark despite being well into adulthood."

Twilight bobbed her head. "Maybe part of it is insecurity from not having a cutie mark? You've seen the Cutie Mark Crusaders, imagine a group of adults?"

Lyra frowned. "Good thought there. I should see if we can't find their calling. Maybe getting their cutie marks would shock them out of this delusion and get them back on their hooves." She smiled then. "Thank you so much, Twilight. I'll get right on that."

Twilight rose to her hooves. "Anytime, Lyra. If you think it'll help, bring them by the castle and I'll show them the portal."

Lyra's frown returned. "I don't think teasing them with validation of their delusions would be a good idea. They could relapse. Some of them are showing real promise. Shattered Stone is practically ready to embrace his poniness, if we could just work past his anti-social behavior. Samantha and Sam are also showing progress. I think I'll get them to remember their real names soon, or at least take up new ones that don't sound so strange."

"Samantha and Sam? Those are very similar to one another." Twilight sounded curious about that.

Lyra bobbed her head. "You noticed that too? I really think they just came up with half of this stuff together. It's a real group-problem. That's why I don't want you scaring any of them. If one of them crashes, it could bring down the whole group with it."

Twilight approached Lyra and softly pat her shoulder. "You're doing good work, Lyra. They're in good hooves, and I'm glad you're being so serious about this."

Lyra beamed, filled with a giddy warmth at the kind words coming from the princess. "I'm just trying my best, Twilight. I want them to be happy. They won't be happy until they accept what they are, and they are definitely ponies."

Twilight rolled a hoof. "I would like to see the group sometime. Maybe I could sit in on a meeting?"

Lyra shook her head. "I'd love to, but I promise confidentiality. 'But she's a princess' will just hurt their feelings and the trust they have in me. You understand?"

Twilight gave an uncertain nod. "Oh, of course. Yes. Maybe when they're feeling a little better?" She tapped her chin. "You are taking notes on this, I hope?"

"Of course." Lyra pointed at a journal sitting on a desk nearby. "This is fascinating work."

Twilight bobbed her head in agreement. "I would like to review that, after you're done, of course."

"Certainly." Confidentiality requirements being what they were, after-the-fact reporting was commonly accepted to help spread knowledge in effective treatments. "I plan to turn it over to the therapist guild up in Canterlot. Maybe they'll be able to use it to help other ponies with species identity crisis."

Twilight shuddered. "I went through that once... They have my sympathy. Good luck, Lyra." She turned and departed, leaving Lyra to her work.

Author's Notes:

It's never a bad time to touch bases with Princess Twilight Sparkle!

4 - The Little Life

Lyra smiled down at Lucy, who was laying across a bed twice as large as she was. "Good afternoon, Lucy. I hear you started school today?"

Lucy gave an uncertain nod, clinking her crystal hooves together nervously. "I thought I was done with school. I suffered through years of it..." She looked up at Lyra. "Equestrian schools are strange."

Lyra shook her head. "They're the only schools that I know you've been to. What's so strange about them?"

Lucy sat up. "We'll start with the lack of division by age. I'm sitting next to this boy pony, uh, colt? He's twice my size!" Her voice become a shrill little squeak before she caught herself. "It's not normal."

Lyra nodded as she took a few notes. "Is this colt bothering you?"

Lucy shook her head. "Oh! No... he's fine. He's actually kind of nice. He helped me with geography."

A smile spread over Lyra's face. "Aw, that sounds lovely. Why are you upset he's there then?"

Lucy frowned and sank back to her belly. "It's just not... standard. I should be making friends with other people--"

"Ponies."

"people my own age, even if I am a little kid right now."

"Filly."

Lucy hopped to her hooves with obvious irritation. "Stop correcting me! Child, kid, youngster, filly, whatever. They're all perfectly functional synonyms!" She flopped onto her belly again, looking tired. "Cheerilee failed me in linguistics class. Me, a solid B+ student..."

Lyra reached forward. Lucy allowed the contact and she softly stroked the filly's mane. "I'll talk to her, alright?"

Lucy seemed to brighten at the promise. "Will you really? What's so wrong with using 'people' anyway? Griffons aren't ponies, or dragons, but they are people." She rolled over onto her back. "Oh god, why am I accepting those things as default?"

Lyra smiled gently. "You're getting better. Griffons and dragons are a part of Equestria, and it's good that you want to be fair to them, even linguistically. You're a very smart little filly, and I'm proud of you. Don't worry, I'll talk to Cheerilee about it."

Lucy was caught between emotions. Support against the linguistic tyranny of Cheerilee sounded wonderful, but Lyra was far too happy about it. "I'm still not a pony..."

Lyra pointed a hoof at Lucy. "You are clearly a cute little crystal filly. Even you saw that."

Lucy groaned in frustration. "But I wasn't before!" She pointed at Lyra's flank. "Why do almost all of you people have pictures on your rumps?"

Lyra's horn glowed as she conjured her lyra and began to play it with her magic, filling the small room with sweet and soothing music. "They are cutie marks, symbols of our special talents. I'm really good at the lyre, as you can hear."

Lucy nodded lightly, listening to the peaceful music. "How'd you end up being a psychologist?"

Lyra looked a little confused. "I am a helper of the mind, a special friend." She held out a hoof. "I'm here to help you remember that it's OK to be a pony, and whatever hurt you before, we can deal with. You're safe with me."'

Lucy snorted loudly. "I'm not some lost child! My parent were lovely people that put me through college. I visited them every year until they died, and it breaks my heart that I can't even visit their graves now."

Lyra cringed as she added to her notes. Parents dead. Possible repression of memories? Obvious love for missing parental figures. Could be symbolic. Maybe neglect, or traumatic incident.

"What are you writing?" Lucy leaned forward.

Lyra easily kept it out of her view. "That's for me to know. Why don't you tell me more about those parents of yours? How did they treat you around the house?"

Lucy became noticeably withdrawn as she described a fairly normal household. The more she went, the quieter and slower she got. Lyra held up a hoof. "You've answered enough for today. Why don't you go outside and play with your friends?"

Lucy shrank. "I don't really have friends."

Lyra gestured outside. "What about that colt that helped you with geography? Or even the others in the circle. You were getting along with them well. You have plenty of friends, just go up to one of them and say hello."

Lucy gave a cautious smile. "You're right. I'm not alone." She moved for the door and tried to reach the handle, but was too small to manage it. Lyra grabbed it with her magic and gave it a soft twist and pull. Lucy wave back at her. "See you Saturday." And she was gone.

Lyra frowned at her notes, tapping the pad with her quill thoughtfully. How could she drill past the layers of deception and comforting illusions to get at the truth? She set her lyre down beside her chair and hopped to her hooves. Trotting over to the window, she looked down on Ponyville and it's population of mostly happy and well-adjusted ponies. This was her first serious case, and she wasn't going to mess it up!

She moved for her calender and peeked at who was coming next. Sam, the earth pony 'truck driver'. Not that there weren't trucks in Equestria, but they were few and far between. Surely if he was one, someone would turn up looking for him? She tapped her chin, trying to plan ahead for the session. Perhaps more interactive means would help get to the bottom of this mental mystery.

5 - I'm not a Mare!

Lyra strolled along after Darrell. "So tell me more about your... time before now. When you believe you were not a pony, and not female?"

Darrell swiveled an ear towards Lyra, "You really want to know?"

Lyra nodded. "Of course. I want to know all about you. I'm your friend."

Darrell sank a little. "You just want to 'cure' me, but that's not the fix I need. I need to be a man again."

Lyra waved a hoof in the air as they ambled past the carrot stall. "Tell me about that. What was it like, being a stallion?"

Darrell was guarded, but Lyra expected that. She waited with a patient smile until she began to talk. "I didn't realize half of it until it was gone. I miss being able to aim when I piss. I miss being able to let off steam when I wanted to. I miss not feeling like I'm being sized up by every guy that comes into view."

Lyra looked perplexed. "Huh, I would have thought a stallion would be more leered at, not less. There are plenty of mares in town." She gestured widely at Ponyville. "Not as many stallions. Don't you remember that?"

Darrell frowned. "Not where I came from. There were plenty of guys, and girls, and do you have to keep calling them horse names?"

"We are horses." Lyra rolled her shoulders. "Well, ponies. I am a mare, and you are too."

"Not by choice." Darrell turned to face Lyra, pausing in her walk. "You're a wizard, right? I saw your degree."

Lyra nodded her head. "Sure am! I Specialize in transformations. That's how I found you. Somepony you were talking to thought you might have been transformed, but I couldn't find even the tiniest shred of that kind of magic on you."

Darrell put her hooves on Lyra's shoulders. "Well change that! Do your magic, and at least make me a guy again."

Gender dysphoria was not an alien concept to Lyra, and she pitied Darrell deeply. Even if she was convinced that she was really a pony, she may never be truly satisfied as a mare. "I could try, but it would only last a short time. You know, being a mare isn't all that bad."

Darrell flushed across her snout. "I went into heat! Heat!" She put her hooves back on the ground, only to stomp left and right on them, running in place. "Fix it... please. I'm begging."

Lyra sat down on her haunches. "Alright... Just remember it's only for a little while, and I want something in return."

"Anything."

Her eyes were so desperate, Lyra felt bad looking into them, but she didn't flinch away. "I want you to tell me what your life was like, everything you can remember. No crying, no fits."

Darrell glanced around. "Can we go back to your office first?"

They soon returned to Lyra's office. The quiet of it seemed to soothe Darrell a bit, but she was mostly fixated on Lyra's magic. "Can you do it now?"

Lyra nodded. "If you remember your side of the deal? I'll focus on keeping the spell going, and you focus on telling me the truth, all that you can remember." Lyra focused her magic and zapped her patient. Gender changing was no small feat, and she could feel a faint tension build instantly as she lifted the magical deadweight up.

Darrell squeaked and began to squirm as the changes came over her, now him. He raised a leg and peeked back at himself. "I'm whole again. I never thought I... would be so happy to see that, even if it is a horse dongle."

Lyra tapped her notepad. "This isn't easy. Your turn."

Darrell settled on his haunches, looking so much happier. Lyra wished for a moment she could just make her a him instead of having to go the hard way around and convince her to be happy being a her. Darrell began speaking of his past, words captured by a scribbling quill.

"I was born in a small nowhere town that barely warranted a sign to announce its existence. I worked with cows and horses. They were dirty and smelly, but they paid the bills, so I did my job." He sighed softly. "I never went to any fancy schools. Hell, I didn't finish regular school... I had a girlfriend though. She was real sweet-like. I was thinking about asking her to go on to the next step even."

Lyra rolled a hoof. "Did you have family? Tell me about them."

Darrell nodded. "Sure did! They were good people, and only lived a block away. Mind you, country blocks are pretty big, but it was still an easy trip." One of his hooves wandered down between his legs and Lyra softly swatted it away. A momentary sulk gave way to more words. "Anyway, everyone around me was pretty cool, except that jerk Zev. He can eat a dick and die."

Lyra raised her brows at the sudden strong language. "What did he do?"

Darrell snarled. "It's his fault I'm here. I was cleaning out the stalls, usual daily chore, and he shows up and starts messing with me. I tell him to buzz off, but he just won't lay off. I swear to god he just doesn't have a decent bone in his body. I snapped and shoved him, but he shoved back harder. I fell in a great big pile of horse shit, and came out the other end... lessened. I had hooves, and no willy, and I stank to high heaven. The ranch I worked for was gone, instead, bam, Ponyville."

Lyra began piecing the puzzle together. "Then you were found by Roseluck, ranting about your missing parts, fingers, genitals, all that, and she referred you to me."

Darrell bobbed his head quickly. "I just want to get back... I don't know if my girl's still waiting for me, but I want to see her again, and my folks, and my house..."

Lyra scrawled away, noting Darrell's agitation due to past coworker tension. Wild claims of relationship appear to defy logic, but perhaps gender is reversed? Posting her picture to the newspaper may yield returns if anypony knows her. "Darrell."

"Yeah?"

Lyra smiled gently. "Can you, without looking or touching, describe being male?"

His eyes wandered downwards, but he didn't cheat. His eyes returned to Lyra's smiling face quickly. "It usually doesn't feel like anything, but when you're worked up, it's like a coiled up spring between your legs. You feel stronger than anything, and being with a female when you're like that... it's the best thing. You put the hard part in the soft part, and when you get to the end, it's like the universe is contracted to a single point, and then it's all let go."

Lyra nodded slowly. She hadn't experimented with being a stallion much. Focusing on the magic, and exploring gender identities... She couldn't manage both. Suddenly a thought came to her! Darrell had obviously been male before. The way he sat, the satisfaction on his face, and the description he gave, but he wasn't born it. Someone had done it to him, er, her. She had been given a taste, and now she wanted it forever. It made perfect sense. Lyra scribbled her theory wildly. "You've been very good today, Darrell."

When she released the magic, Darrell knew instantly, and she made a piteous whinny of a cry. Lyra shook her head. "I'm really very sorry, but I can't keep that up." She tapped her chin. "If it means anything, however, I now believe that you were male before."

Her face brightened, a smile on her snout. "Does this mean you'll help me?"

"To be a stallion?" Lyra frowned a little. "I'm not sure I can. We'll explore that. For now, you are definitely a mare, and a pony. We should fully realize what we are before we seek to change that."

It wasn't the answer Darrell wanted, but he didn't fight her on it. Lyra offered a sweet in reward, and they parted with a friendly wave. She watched her emerge onto the street and amble away, heading to the small home Twilight had helped her obtain for them to share. Even the foal was with them, until her parents could be located. Lyra sighed with frustration. How hard could it be to find a crystal pony parent? They all lived in the same city...

Lyra put her things away and headed home herself. Tomorrow would be a new day to pry into these mysteries.

Author's Notes:

Lyra's doing her best to do right by her patients, even if their stories seem so wild. There seems to be more truth in Darrell's past than she first figured. Does she treat species dysphoria or gender dysphoria first?