Pony names are a strange thing. For those on the outside of the pony world, it might seem peculiar that so many ponies have names that fit so well with their characters and talents.

If you ask the parents how they named their foals, they'll tell you, "We just knew." Scholarly ponies more knowledgeable about Equestrian magic will tell you that it's the magic of Destiny, the very same magic that governs a pony's cutie mark and its appearance, that prompts the parents to name their foals during the magical hour of birth.

However, Destiny is a bitch, and a bitch with a sense of humor at that.

For a certain new mother and father, Peach Seed and Oakwood, the coming of their daughter had been nothing but joy. She had been fun to make, an easy pregnancy, and an overall painless birth. When she first came into the world, her parents beheld her with such joy and wonder that they could hardly hold back their tears. A soft pink filly, with a sunshine yellow mane and bright fuschia eyes. She didn't cry long, cooing and giggling as her parents hovered over her in the hospital bed.

Destiny chose that moment to strike.

It was a cruel, twisting feeling in the parents' guts. Stronger than the gentle tug parents usually felt, this command would not be ignored. Peach Seed and Oakwood looked at each other, wearing frowns of concern and horror. This had to be a mistake. Just their imaginations. Her name couldn't be... could it?

"So, what will you call her?" the doctor asked the parents, staring dumbstruck into each others' eyes.

There was a moment of heavy silence, even the little filly holding quite still in her mother's hooves. They couldn't work up the courage to answer.

"What will you call her?" the doctor repeated, thinking they hadn't heard him.

Finally, Oakwood managed to find his voice. "Uh... Deepthroat Cockslut," he whispered.

"What was that?" the doctor asked.

He took a heavy breath. "Her name is Deepthroat Cockslut."

"I... I see," the doctor answered, writing it down with a shaken grasp on the pen. "Um... why don't you let the little darling suckle? She'll be hungry," he prompted them.

Peach Seed nodded, pulling up her paper gown and gently placing her daughter against her belly as her father watched. Even though she felt that special bond between mother and child at the first feeding, and even though her father was terribly proud at what he and his wife had accomplished together, the twisting feeling in their stomachs remained.

"It'll be fine," Oakwood assured his wife. "She's our daughter. Our beautiful daughter."

He kissed his wife, and she felt a touch of comfort in the confidence of his voice.

Deep down, they knew they were only kidding themselves. Panic was setting in, even as little Deepthroat Cockslut drank and fell asleep.