I don’t know what I ran into but whatever it was, it was hard. I let out a pained groan as I slowly brought myself to my knees. I started to rub the side of my head as I looked at what I had crashed into. My eyes widened from what I was seeing. Sprawled out on the ground in front of me were two… horse people… with wings and horns. Now, after being chased by the manticore, anthropomorphic horses with extra appendages didn’t faze me that much. At this point I was convinced that I was desensitized to all the crazy things this place could throw at me. What I did notice was that these two were obviously females, and they were seriously injured. This caused my chivalrous nature to come out and I put on my serious face. I jumped to my feet and looked for what could have done this. It didn’t take long and I nearly had a stroke when I saw the strangest creature in the history of ever floating in midair. As soon as I looked at the thing I felt my mind screech to a halt.

‘What in the name of… I’m so confused I can’t even think of a stupid joke. That thing looks like it makes a platypus feel inadequate because it isn’t confusing enough. Oh, looks like I can think of one. Stop, now is not the time for that. There are two injured… let’s just call them women until I can figure out what to call them. Now, I’m in this costume and I’m obviously insane, so let’s ride this crazy train until it goes right off a cliff. So, what would Vash do in a situation like this?’

And that’s when inspiration struck.

Celestia’s POV:

I had no idea what had run into us. One moment I was prepared to die the next moment some cursing thing smacks right into Luna and I. I was the first between Luna and myself to recover and looked at what had hit us. What I saw was a creature that was strikingly similar to Luna and I, yet very different as well. I was fairly certain that it was a he if the voice and build I was seeing were anything to go by. His mane was spiky and was a golden blonde in color. His eyes were hidden behind a strange pair of glasses that were orange in color. From what I could tell he was very thin and tall, almost as tall as myself even. The creature seemed confused for a few moments as he regarded Luna, Discord and I, but he recovered quickly and he quickly turned serious. He stood and I saw that he was indeed tall. He then turned to Luna and I.

“Are the two of you okay?”

“We’ll be fine, but who are you?” I asked.

He made a strange face as he told me, “I am known by many names, but for now just know that I am a defender of peace. Especially when it comes to fair ladies such as yourselves.”

I didn’t quite know what to say about all that. Luna however didn’t seem to share that problem. “And what do you plan on doing?”

He drew a strange weapon and held it up as he turned to face Discord. “What needs to be done.”

“Oh, do you really think that you can hurt me with something like that?” Discord asked with a chuckle. “Well, if you want to play hero then I won’t stop you. Come on, hit me with your best shot.”

The mysterious stranger then leveled his weapon right between Discord’s eyes. My mind raced as I tried to understand what I was seeing. Who was this person? Would they really be able to defeat Discord? All these thoughts and more shot through me as I watched what was about to happen. I could feel my heart try and hammer out of my chest as the anticipation mounted. They then started to pull something on the weapon and time seemed to slow down. I started to feel hopeful and even like I could swoon. Whoever this person was they were brave, they were incredible, they were…

*Click* *Click* *Click*

The stranger then opened up the weapon and looked at it in complete shock when it was empty. “Gyahhhh!” they cried.

… an absolute idiot. Luna, Discord and I stood in absolute disbelief of the stranger’s actions. The being then recovered quickly and put his weapon away. “In a situation like this, there is only one course of action.” He then spun on his heel and grabbed Luna and I by the hand. “A strategic retreat!” he screamed as he started to run in the direction he had come from. Luna and I were in no condition to try and resist and just ran right behind him. Discord still seemed just as confused as I was because he just let us leave. Either that or he was thinking that none of us were a threat.

Vash’s POV:

The two women and I just kept running after I had enacted my brilliant, Vash-approved plan. I didn’t even realize that we were running back toward the forest where I met the devil-kitty, I wasn’t really thinking though. All that mattered to me was getting the two to safety. Once we made it into a small clearing I stopped running and leaned against a tree to catch my breath.

“Whew, that sure was a close one. I can’t believe I forgot to load this thing,” I said as I pulled out my gun and loaded it with the bullets from my pocket. I then turned back to the two ladies with my best smile. “So I know I already asked this, but are the two of you okay?” Apparently this set the blue one off because she got right in my face with the mother of all glares.

“What in the name of Tartarus was going through thine head?!” she growled at me.

“I was thinking that we’d all live to see another day.”

“And because of that thou turned us into cowards. If thou truly wished to run then thou should’ve done so without us.”

“Are you saying that you were just willing to die?” I asked carefully.

“Of course, it is the duty of a princess to be willing to put their life on the line for the sake of their land.”

“Even if laying your life down causes a threat to your land to run free?” This seemed to get their attention.

“What?” the blue one asked.

“If you ask me, which I know you didn’t, but if you can find a way to get out of a fight so you can think of a new strategy. Then that’s a lot better than needlessly sacrificing yourself. I’d say giving up on life and letting yourself die is much more cowardly. If you two really are princesses then you need to stay alive to lead your country.” I told them with as much determination as I could muster.

I fully expected to get smacked for what I just told them, but right before the blue one was about to do it, the white one placed a hand on her shoulder. “Thou might have a point stranger. Though we should not be arguing amongst ourselves whilst Discord is still out terrorizing our little ponies.”

The blue one let out a sigh as she looked up at the taller, white horse-woman. “Thou art right sister, as usual.” She huffed that last part almost to the point where I couldn’t hear it.

‘Did… did she just say ponies?’ I thought with a bit of a grimace. ‘Okay, so that’s what these people are called. Note to self: never call them horse people. Something tells me that could get my ass kicked.’

“We suppose that we should thank thee. Wouldst thou tell us thine name now?” The white one asked.

“Oh sure,” I said with a chuckle, “my name is…” I paused as I thought about my answer for a moment. Should I tell them my real name or… “Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gumbigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andry Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III. But you can call me Vash, Vash the Stampede.” I then performed a large dramatic bow. “Now, who might you two fair maidens be?” I wasn’t looking at them but I could practically feel them roll their eyes at me. The white one was the first one to speak.

“We art Princess Celestia, tis a pleasure to meet thee Vash.”

The blue one then regarded me with a little less hostility in her eyes. “And we art Princess Luna.”

‘Well that was short and to the point. I guess I’ll just have to make some attempt to get on her good side. That shouldn’t be too hard, ladies love me and I’m great with animals. And she’s both of those things rolled into one!’

“Vash, there is one more thing that confuses us about you,” Celestia told me as she tilted her head at me. “What art thou?”

“I’m what’s known as a human. And what are you supposed to be exactly?”

“We art known as ponies, or more specifically we art alicorns.” Luna answered.

“Okay, but who and what was that thing we just ran away from?”

“That was Discord,” Celestia said as a dark glower came over her face. “He calls himself the spirit of disharmony and chaos. Other than that, all we really know is that he is very powerful. He rips the very land in twain and fought us as though we were nothing. If we do not stop him there is no telling what he’ll do to our subjects.”

‘This is horrible,’ I thought with an internal grimace. ‘Wait, why am I thinking like that? This isn’t real, is it?’ I then looked over the two princesses and my grimace worsened when I saw their battle-worn appearance. ‘Real or not, these two need my help. Even if the only thing I can offer is moral support.’

“Now is not the time to be thinking like that,” I told them. “Right now we have to find a way to stop him. This isn’t over until we draw our last breath.”

This caused Celestia to give me a warm smile for the first time since we met. Something I took great pride in. “Thou art right Vash, we still have hope. Discord may have power, but we have our subjects and our friends to support us. Starswirl told us before we left to fight that he was looking into something that might prove useful.”

“This is true,” Luna said as her expression started to soften. “Starswirl has never let us down before, and we doubt that he will start now.”

“That’s the spirit!” I cheered as I gave them a thumbs up. “Now, how do we get to this Starswirl guy?”

“If thou would allow us to rest for but a moment then we shall be able to use our magic to get to him.

“Sounds good to me, I could use a rest myself.”

The princesses and I then sat down and talked for a bit. I found the Elizabethan English to be odd, but I got over it. During our talk I found out that the name of the country I was in was called Equestria. I’m actually surprised that I managed not to laugh at that. Still, that basically confirmed what I already knew that I wasn’t on Earth anymore. If I wasn’t hallucinating. I still wasn’t completely convinced that what I was seeing was real. I also told them a little about myself including where I was from.

“So thou art from another world,” Celestia said sadly as she looked to the ground.

“Yeah, it seems like it. I don’t really know the specifics though.”

“We art sorry to hear that, but perhaps we could find a way to return thee to thy home,” Luna told me with some small amount of hope. “Starswirl was talking about researching other worlds before Discord attacked.”

“Thanks, that does give me some hope.”

“We art glad to offer our services. A princess is always meant to lend a hand to those in need,” Celestia said with another warm smile before standing and dusting herself off. “Now, we believe that it is time for us to return to Starswirl. We have much to do if we wish to defeat Discord. Celestia then gave me a hand up and then placed a hand on my shoulder as Luna got in close as well. “Brace thyself, if this is thine first time teleporting then it can be quite the experience,” she warned me as everything disappeared in a brilliant, white light.