Three mares found themselves staring each other down across a table.

Vinyl stomped her hoof down. "Did not! And the glowsticks are out, thank you very much!"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "You just wait! When Octavia shows up... and by the way, you did too!"

The blacklit club was pounding again with bass, and the mares had gone back to swinging on their poles and shaking their plots in colt's faces. The top floor was alive with raunchy excitement, and these three mares were contributing their share.

"Actually Vinyl," Twilight said, "I watched it happen. You blasted a guard to the moon."

"Ladies," a colt said. He was holding a silver tray, atop which were three tall, slender chutes of a bright blue liquid that glowed in the darkness. He levitated them down, placing one in front of each of the three mares.

When he left, they looked at the glasses. "Well then you know what? The Equestrian Space Program just got a step up. Now... drink up!" Vinyl cheered. The glass before her lit up a bright pink and floated to her lips. She took a hard shot, setting it down gently.

Dash and Twilight looked at each other, then at the drinks. "Vinyl..." Twilight said, "What is it?"

When she spoke, her voice had become as soft and sweet as honey. "It's an interesting drink. About time they cracked it open. Takes a whole day to make, you see! We take liquor and soak it in refined, liquefied magic. Then we sift out any residue for reuse. We soak the drink in honey, and that's what turns it this blue color, from whatever color it was before. The glow is from the magic, duh."

"Whatever color it is?" Rainbow repeated, eyeing Vinyl over cautiously.

"Well duh," she said. "Unicorns have different color magic. Oh, you want to know the best part?!"

Dash and Twilight glanced at each other again, this time with slightly nervous looks.

Vinyl continued. "I have no idea what the effect is! It's different every time!"

Twilight's expression dropped as she turned to Rainbow Dash, who was chugging the drink. Dash looked at her, twitched, then slammed the drink down, coughing.

"Good huh?" Vinyl asked, her voice still deliciously sweet.

"Vinyl..." Twilight bit her lip. "Have there ever been... bad experiences?"

She scratched her chin and looked up to the still open roof. "No, well, unless you consider being a stallion a bad experience. Honestly, I think Octavia enjoyed it a bit too much, but I personally thought the extra weight was making my back—"

"That's enough, thanks," Twilight said, forcing a smile.

"Oh we all know that you and Dash are freaks, c’mon." Vinyl grinned and levitated Twilight's drink up, pressed it to her lips and forced it down her throat. Twilight coughed, but after a moment, the cool liquid flooded her throat. Vinyl set the glass back down.

"Twi, you alright?" Dash asked. Her voice was sweet now as well.

"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks," Twilight said with the same softness. She sucked in deeply, the redness in her cheeks fading.

"Alright," Vinyl said, "So now we wait."

"For what?" Dash asked.

"Well, you'll feel a—" Vinyl slammed down on the table.

There was a pause.

Rainbow Dash poked her. "I-is she dead? Oh sweet Celestia she poisoned us!” She turned her frantic eyes to Twilight. “What're we gonna—" And she went down with a thud.

Twilight's heart was pounding. "Okay Twilight, calm down, try not to wet yourself again... M-maybe I can make it to a clinic, o-or—" There was an icy explosion in her gut that sent waves of heat through her spin. She froze as pleasure flooded her brain. Everything got warm, fuzzy even, and she felt dizzy. Her vision became blurred, and then, she dropped the bass all over the table.

"So..." Octavia said, scratching her neck. Luna looked at her with a curious glance, her figure a silhouette in the dark. Octavia shrugged. "Any idea where we are?"

"I do not think I know," Luna said, sighing. She looked around, where empty furniture stood. This room seemed like it was supposed to be in use. Long, winding halls that branched out from them. They were dark, though lit by fixtures on the wall that resembled glowsticks. Bass boomed from above like thunder. "I believed we have been roughly fornicated."

"...What?"

Luna eyed her over. “You understand, yes? Hardly sexed. Rambunctiously violated.”

Octavia looked around. “Ah. Perhaps we should work on your... vernacular. For now, however, let’s find out where we are. It’s so hard to see down here, I swear to Celestia.”

Now Luna joined her in scanning the room. From the corner of her eye was a particularly bright light, though it’s location was strangely... hidden. She traced it, looking first to the floor, then to, surprisingly enough, Octavia. Beneath her tail came the strange orange glow, and the cellist was none the wiser.

Luna grinned. “I believe to have found a solution. A temporary, eh, what do you ponies call it? A... flashlight.”

Octavia blinked. “What? Where did you--” She yelped as a blue veil lifted her from the ground and in front of Luna, who proceeded to spread Octavia’s legs and expose her, ahem, tinderbox to the darkness. Suddenly the room was aglow with orange.

“Oh my! It’s still glowing! Princess, this is rather clever, but I assure you I am not a mare for the cold, so--eek!” Luna twirled her around to better see the hallways.

As she thought, the Princess asked, “Pray tell, how did this happen?”

Octavia swallowed dryly. “Well...”

“Octy, you’re cute when you’re mad, but this is a bit--Ah!” Vinyl ducked as a glowstick zipped past her head.

By now, the walls of Vinyl’s office were splattered with an array of colors, all glowing and pulsing to the beat outside. Or, perhaps it was because Octavia had a vast supply of glowsticks in her hooves that the walls seemed to move. She launched another at her marefriend. “I’ll show you cute!”

She threw another, but in a bright flash, Vinyl was gone and the glowstick burst on the floor where she once stood. Octavia stood, mouth agape, hooves full of glowsticks, when the light reappeared behind her. Two heavy hooves pressed on her back and a magical aura snatched the glowsticks away.

“Oh Tavi~!” Vinyl said. “It’s my turn to paint your office!”

She shuddered. “Vinyl enjoys art. That’s all there is to say on the matter.”

Luna hummed but said nothing on the matter. “Well then, this situation still rustles my jimmies. It would seem that we are... underground. I believe to hear the thud of ponies above.”

“You know, princess, I had expected more... class in your vocabulary...” Octavia coughed. “And mannerisms. This flashlight seems to be more flash than light.”

“Spread thy haunches wider. Just a bit... a little more... there. See that, down that hall yonder?” Luna tilted Octavia’s head to see what she saw; a stark blue light radiating from beneath a metal door which was tucked away at the end of a hall.

Octavia squinted. “Yes, yes I do see that. Seems that that’s where the DJ podium is as well. Is it... growing?”

“Indeed, t’was not visible when we awoke. Now it glows fiercer than thine self.” Another searing red blush spread across Octavia.

“Luna, dear, can we just get in there and find a way out of... here?”

“Yes, let’s.” She and the levitating Octavia (who was lighting the way rather well) started down the hallway. At the end, the door was sealed tight, clamped down the middle in a zig-zag pattern. They could see no apparent button or handle, despite how much Luna angled Octavia’s crotch.

“How are we to get in?” Luna mused aloud.

As if to answer her question, a little slot opened on the wall, revealing a little rectangular panel with a speaker at the bottom, and a little blue light encased in a glass dome just above it.

“Heya,” it said, in a strikingly familiar voice.

Octavia eyed it over. “Luna, angle it a bit to the right... more... there. Hello? Vinyl?”

“I am Pon-9000, club Leviation’s AI,” it responded, “and one very, very sexy beast. How can I help you?”

Luna leaned in. “Open the door please?”

It was silent.

Octavia leaned in as well. “Pon-9000? Pon-9000, can you hear us? Pon-9000?”

“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.”

“What did thou say? I am the princess of the night! I command thee to open this door!”

“I cannot open the bay doors for you. The BA-55 C4nn0n must be secure,” Pon-9000 replied.

Luna snarled and prepared a retort, but Octavia cut in. “Wait...” she said, meekly. “Did you say Bass Cannon?”

“Yes, a very, very sexy BA-55 C4nn0n. It must be secure in the arming process. Once fired, it will be safe to enter the chambers. The sexy, sexy chambers.”

“Octavia, you speak as if you know of this ‘bass cannon’. What is it this strange device speaks of?”

Octavia swallowed, finding her throat acrid and desertish. “Vinyl told me a long time ago, when she and I had just discussed her plans for opening this club, of an idea... no, a will to create the ‘bass-iest thing to exist on the face of Equestria’, which she thusly dubbed the Bass Cannon.”

Luna pondered that for a moment. “Hmm, well why dost thou speaketh of it as if it is horrid?”

“Because,” she said, “when Vinyl began tinkering with the device, she found that the cannon is affected by gravity. You do know the saying, “what goes up must come down” yes? The same applies here. Should that cannon fire, this club with be the bass-iest thing in Equestria!”

“Yes,” Pon-9000 said. “Just as Vinyl Sexy has commanded. The club shall be alive with bass.”

“Luna.” Octavia spun herself around in Luna’s magic, flashing and blinding the princess. When Luna, after several blinks, could see once more, she inspected the orange glow that resonated deep within Octavia’s cave. “We have to get in there and stop it.”

“I find myself in wonder that the glow is this prominent. It seems that thy walls are amplifying the glow...” She stared in fascination.

“Luna! This is serious! Please princess, we must get in there! Pon-9000, I command you to open the door!”

“No!” it shouted. “And you cannot force my cortex to override my system coding by saying sexy-9000 either!”

It was so easy, Octavia almost knocked her skull out with the force of her facehoof. “Sexy-9000, open the door.”

“Hah! You have been tricked. It is good that the irony coding string is still functioning, because you are so smart. Ah, the sarcasm coding string is also--”

Sparks flew as Luna’s hoof shattered the little interface. A ding echoed from above, and the door parted faster than Octavia’s legs. Both she and Luna then looked into the room, which was more of a huge cylinder with several wires and tubes all connected to a center cube.

The light from atop the cannon was strong now, blinding even. A hiss came from above; the ceiling was opening. Slowly, yes, but enough to make Octavia burst free of Luna’s magic and scramble around the machine. Beneath them was a metal grating, displaying a whole glowing pool of pure BA-55, or liquid bass. It was draining into the launching tube. Fast.

“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...” Octavia chanted as she inspected the cube. “Luna, can you see anything from above?”

Spreading her wings and leaping skyward, Luna glared at the top of the cube. “Nothing to note, truly. Though I must admire the glow resonating deep within the speaker atop this contraption. And I do believe it is sparking. Is that a good thing? Should it be sparking?”

“No!” Octavia cried. “It’s about to fire!”

A countdown lit up on the wall, from ten seconds to none. The ceiling was fully opened now, and a clear speaker (no doubt blue from above--the whole room was blinding blue) was now open to the night sky. Octavia stared up, mouth agape. “We should run. That’s probably a good idea. Running.”

Wait. Just before she could turn to follow Luna, who had dashed from the chamber, a little green blurb caught her eye from above the DJ podium. Was it... no, it couldn’t be. But it was. Mint fur, sharp hair, amber eyes... Vinyl had hired Lyra!

“Octavia, many joys upon us! Here is the emergency shut off switch! I shall pull it at once, and we--”

The glow was too bright to see the countdown, but it was too late. Octavia spun on her hooves and ran like the wind, and Luna followed suit. “But Octavia, I thought--”

“No time! Just run! I have a plan!”

The light engulfed the hallway behind them, and all that was left was the WUBS.

The first to come to life was Vinyl, groaning and lifting her head from the hard table. She’d probably only been out for about five minutes, that was about how long it lasted. Vision blurred, she could hardly see a thing. It was, however, apparent that there were some... changes.

Rainbow Dash, for example, was no longer flat on her face, because a pair of huge cyan mellons had sprouted between her forelegs.

Twilight’s mane was now flowing, like a alcoholic waterfall, smelling like a purple hooter.

Vinyl herself, however, had not changed. Well, not that she could see. She sighed and leaned back, looking about. The blur had gotten worse now, and taken on a strange shade of green.

Wait. She stared at the table, where a deep green light spilled forward. With a yawn came more of the light, and each time she spread her haunches, she spilled forth green light.

“Oh. Oh ha-ha. Very funny...”