“SCOOTALOO! Time fer school, let’s go! C’mon,” Applejack shouted up the stairs to the filly. Scootaloo hovered from her bed and to the floor before she opened her eyes in groggy restraint and a yawn. She looked around her room. A poster of Rainbow Dash mid stunt, another of Sapphire Shores with a mouth-drawn crayon sketch of Sweetie Belle singing a note below it, and finally a picture of herself and her closest friends just outside their clubhouse.

Scootaloo smirked briefly and looked back to her bed then grumbled. “Gotta make my stupid bed, get my dumb food, go to school with the best friends and teacher ever…” she sighed and began to smile. “I guess it’s not all bad,” she said with growing happiness. “Comin’, Mama.”

“Make sure ta make yer bed, then it’s breakfast. Ah made Apple fritters, pancakes, eggs, and fresh squeezed juice.”

Rainbow shouted from the kitchen, her voice muffled. “I’ll squeeze your juice.”

“Rainbow Dash?! Not in front’a Scootaloo,” Applejack chided loudly as she stomped from the base of the stairs.

“She’s totally up in her room, she can’t hear me,” Rainbow retorted casually.

Applejack lowered her voice to a casual scolding as she left Scootaloo’s earshot. “Heh, mom’s.” Scootaloo finished her bed, went to the bathroom to brush her coat and tail, leaving her mane besheveled like Rainbow Dash’s. With her morning routine done she, eventually, left the bathroom, hooves washed and dried.

She descended the stairs quietly to listen in on the conversation between her mothers.

“...ove ya, but ya gotta rein it in. Yer winkin’ at me from both ends and it’s tough enough ta say ‘no’ when yer achin’ somethin’ fierce.”

“Fritter, Ah want you, is that so wrong?”

“No. Just… what’s the word Twilight uses, appropriateness. That’s it. After Scoots gets her mark it won’t be as big a deal, but right now she’s ripe fer ideas that can give her a mark in the wrong way.”

“Wike, whaf?” Rainbow asked with an obvious muzzle full of food, “ish shfee,” she paused to slurp some drink and swallow, “is she gonna be a sex therapist?”

“That. Ain’t. Funny, Rainbow Dash. Ya gotta keep a plug in it when she’s around, alright?”

“I want you to plug it… but fine,” Rainbow sighed, “I’ll try to watch what I say. Can’t promise cuz I don’t have a filter, and you know it.”

Scootaloo stomped on the last stairs loudly and galloped into the kitchen, taking flight and crossing the table before breaking two inches from, and landing, facing the lonely wall, next to Rainbow. She scooted around and looked sheepishly at her mom and mentor in flight. “I, uh, totally meant to stop like that.”

Rainbow rustled Scootaloo’s mane while snickering. “Like a little awesome me, right AJ?” Applejack was pouring a cup of juice for Scootaloo but mumbled her agreement. “So, Squirt, ya ready fer school?” Scootaloo nodded and took a large, messy bite of her food. “That’a girl! Saddles packed? Paper and pencils? Sharpeners? Lunch?”

“Ah got her lunch right over yonder on the counter. First day’a school, don’t ferget it. Ah ain’t runnin’ from here to yer school. If’n ya ferget it, yer sharin’ with yer friends.”

“I won’t forget, Mama. Sheesh, I’m not a Forgetful Forgetterson.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes in bemusement. “You’re spending too much time with Pinkie Pie. It’s good school’s back in so we can get her with her school friends again.”

“Sweetie’s still up north until the end of the month,” Scootaloo said with a slight pout before she took another large bite and grinned, teeth filled with food, to Rainbow.

“Ah reckon yer not gonna get a coltfriend with those manners,” Applejack teased.

Scootaloo started chewing her food with a smile. She pointed to her mother’s then herself, then shrugged.

“Ha!” Rainbow laughed. “The day you come out as a lesbian is the same day I like stallions again. Ah’ve seen ya lookin’ at a lotta colts the same way I used to. Only I know you, Scoots, yer not gonna make my mistakes and find love in the best and weirdest place after a hundred bad memories. Yer gonna find one colt that’s perfect for you and you’ll know that he’s the one.”

Applejack placed a hoof on the table near Rainbow’s plate.

“Hey, that’s my plate… oh, heh,” Rainbow smiled warmly, “Ah mean, I’d love to hold her hoof. See, Scoots? It took me years ta find the one, and that’s ‘cuz Ah wasn’t lookin’ in the right place. Yer... smarter than I am, Scootaloo,” Rainbow admitted, fidgeting and fluttering her wings, “you won’t make the same stupid mistakes as I did before I met Mama.”

“Awe,” Applejack cooed before she leaned over and gave Rainbow a kiss on her cheek, “Ah love ya too, Sugarplum.”

Rainbow’s ears burned from embarrassment. “And, I don’t want anypony to ever know what I just said, Scoots, am I clear?”

“Heh, eeyup,” she grinned. “Ah’m almost done, what’s your plan’s today, mommy Dash?”

“Mommy Dash?” Rainbow scrunched her muzzle, “Not bad, but I don’t think so, Scoots. Ah don’t really have big plans, just gotta bust a few clouds over town then, I dunno, maybe make Mama a cloud to show her how much Ah love her.”

“And here Ah thought you were done bein’ sappy in public,” Applejack teased before shaking her head. “Ah’m gonna be sellin’ apples and Ah can’t have the distraction. Sorry, Dashin’, bucha gotta find somethin’ else ta do.”

“I wanna do you,” Rainbow mumbled to herself.

“Dash! What’d Ah ask ya?!”

“Sorry! It’s spring and you know what that means…”

“Rainbow, yer already pregnant. Ya aren’t goin’ inta heat this year.”

“And thank Celestia for that, but you will,” Rainbow winked to Applejack, “and we’re gonna need the house to ourselves for that week. Sorry Scoots.”

It was Applejack’s turn to blush as she pulled her hoof back. “We’ll buck that tree when we come ta it. It ain’t ripe yet so no need to rush it.”

“It was ripe last night.”

“Eeew! Mom, that’s too gross. I’m going to school,” Scootaloo made a gross face and pushed her plate, nearly empty, away and got up, practically running to her lunchbag. “I’ll be home after Apple Bloom and me do some crusading.”

“Bye, Scoots!”

“Have a great day.”

Once Scootaloo was gone, Applejack swatted Rainbow in the back of her head. “What in tarnation is wrong with you?! Ya just gave her some bad idea’s and, Luna forbid, she tries sex and gets a cutie mark in it.”

“AJ, she’s totally grossed out by it, for number ‘B’, she’s not gonna get a cutie mark in that. What’d it even look like? A dick and balls with a tongue wrapped around it? Sheesh, get real.” Applejack frowned and got up from the table, leaving Rainbow alone. “So, can I eat yer food?”

Scootaloo removed her ear from the door with a wicked grin and galloped down the walkway and then the road.

....

Rainbow coasted over the town of Ponyville, gliding as often as she could between bursts of speed that took her fast enough to drown the noise of the world behind a whooshing static in her ears.

She turned, arced, rolled, and dove at a fast, but not too fast, speed and stayed high enough to avoid crashing into anything.

“I’m bored. I guess I can go by the old place, see what’s goin’ on with Saddle Sore, if he’s still there. He used to tell the best stories! I remember I laughed until I peed a couple times. Ponyville Pub, here I come.”

She glided along the side street and landed in front of Ponyville Pub. An acrid smell struck her nose and she felt her stomach tighten before she trotted in. “Hey-a ponies, Rainbow is -urk-” she nearly vomited at the stench of bodily fluids and alcohol that permeated the air.

“Rainbow Dash! As I serve and pour, good to see ya,” the barkeep greeted her, “here fer a drink? I’ve got some ale that’d relax you in no time.”

Rainbow trotted toward the counter and looked at the filthy seats; Cushions that were stained with the fluids of dozens of ponies and streak marks… ‘The streaks. Oh Celestia, ew.’’

“Hey, uh, Bar Keep. You should change the cushions, they’re looking kinda, used.”

“What?” he mused, “I’ve never had a complaint so I’ve never changed ‘em. A splash of vodka kills the germs and they’re good as new. Your seat’s right over there, if I remember right.”

He pointed to a seat three to her left. She moved to it and recoiled. Rainbow hairs still stuck in the chair and cushion, along with dozens of other hairs and stains. “Ugh,” she heaved into her hoof. “I’m fine. I was just, uh, checkin’ out the place I spent most of my time. How’s,” she swallowed some bile that was threatening to escape her mouth, “ugh, business?”

“Fine enough. Since you stopped comin’ by it’s hurt a little but everypony comes back,” he said leaning on the counter.

“So, where’s Saddle Sore?”

“Heh, funny. He’s asleep in his booth; ya gonna say hello?”

“I, was thinking about it,” she looked to the booth, third from the door that had a single rear leg dangling from the bench seat. “I-I don’t know if I should wake him, though.”

“Heh, funny gal. You’d jump on him and talk with him for hours. I’d ask if you remembered but you were pretty sauced. Speaking of which,” he winked and raised a mug to the countertop.

“Uhm, I-I’ll wait a minute. I wanna check on Saddle Sore… make sure he’s okay.”

“Whatever keeps ya comin’ back. Ah’ll be right here and, so’ll your seat.”

Rainbow looked at the seat, still sporting her hairs from nearly eight months prior and turned quickly toward the sleeping stallion in the booth.

“Hey,” she asked softly. “Saddle Sore? A-are you okay?” The stallion groaned and farted, loudly and messily. “Sick, Dude! What the hay?!” she shouted and slapped his leg.

With a buck and scramble, with some incoherent mumbling thrown in, he rolled from the bench to the floor with a groan. A few seconds later he was climbing onto the equally filthy seat, if not more so, than Rainbow’s by the bar.

“Oh, Rhainblow… ugh, Desh! Yeah, that’s it. Who’aw’ve you… -yawn- been? Ain’t seen ya here fer, what?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Huh? Hey! Rainbow Dirsh, what is up, huh? HUH?! Bwahahaha!”

Rainbow raised an eyebrow, watching him laugh and pound the table. “Uh, yeah. Ha ha,” she forced a smile.

“That’s more like it! Rememberer that whun time… You were up and then, HahahA, then down… you were all ‘Look at me, I’m Rainbow Dish and…’ huh? So, haven’t see you in, what, a wheek? Why so long? Yer a hoot!”

“It’s been, like, eight months now, I think.”

“Wha?! No way, you were sitting over there yesterday. Only you were brown and had a green mane. And you were a dude, but you were totally you, but in disguise. I saw you, just like I saw…” he sniffled and grasped an empty mug, trying to drink from it. He looked inside the mug and sobbed. “Just like her, empty for me.”

Rainbow was feeling very uncomfortable and began to slowly back away.

“I can’t believe she left me for that two bit travelin’ ass. Sure, he was a donkey and dumb as rocks, but still.” He reached toward Rainbow and nearly wrapped a foreleg around her head to pull her into a hug.

Rainbow pulled back and winced from the stench in his coat. Old alcohol, cheap pipe smoke, and urine were just what she could smell. She knew there was more to this stallions filth than she could smell.

She back pedalled and made it to the counter. “Dude, that guy needs-”

“Another round? Wanna start the tab and I’ll get you a mug of yer own? It’s nice to see you and him like the old days.”

“...” Rainbow stared at Bar Keep then looked to the weeping stallion at the booth. “We were like that?”

“Yeah,” he replied knowingly, “I’d stand here at the bar and you’d tell us all about your flying, he’d tell us something like he just did, then you two’d laugh until you lost it. So, ale? Cider? Beer? Starting with shots?”

“Dude, I’m pregnant,” Rainbow said in a teasing tone, “you know what that means, right?”

Bar Keep rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you pulled that one all the time. Look, for old time sake I’ll give you the usual fifty percent ‘pregnant’ discount on the first three drinks. It’s the best I can do.”

“No, seriously, I’m pregnant, for real.”

Bar Keep squinted at her then broke into a grin. “Then you get two free drinks! Take yer seat and I’ll give you and your ‘baby’ so drunk you’ll dump it before they day’s over.”

Rainbow looked appalled at the stallion then backed up, the entire room, environment, and ponies were too much. She felt her stomach cramping and she ran from the pub, making it outside before she vomited what she could. Staggering away she leaned against a building across the street and stared at the doorway to the pub.

“I… I used to live like that? With ponies like that? I… What the hay was I thinking?” she said softly to herself and flew to where she’d vomited, covering it with a pile of dirt. She took to the air and began flying tight circles, trying to get as much of the stench of the pub off her before she went home to bathe.

“I can’t believe that I used to hang out there, and what I used to do. Who knows what I used to do that I don’t remember. Gah, I can taste the air still!” She spit and turned, pouring on as much speed as she could to get home.

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