I spent two weeks in China on a school-funded trip last year. If you ever thought city traffic in the States is terrible, you’ve never driven in Shanghai or Beijing. Six lanes on each side of the meridian, no stop lights, and people crossing the road in the middle of green lights. It’s an intricately chaotic sequence, with the only crash seen being a tipped-over moped.

You think it’s hard to cram your groceries into your trunk every week? These guys carry everything on those mopeds. I saw anywhere from thirty-plus milk crates to twenty cardboard boxes full of fruits, fish, merchandise, and more strapped to the back of these mopeds. Some were as tall as Mack trucks.

The best meal I ate in China (and I went to two major cities) in two weeks did not occur at a restaurant. Rather, it was a run-down area of Beijing, not far from the Forbidden City, in a local’s quaint and tiny (two-room) house. That old man cooked us such an amazing meal that I dare say he’d out-cook any Chinese chef this side of the Pacific. His grandfather was a royal chef, cooking for the last emperor.

In the markets underground is where commerce is king. Use the barter system to your ultimate advantage. Don’t be afraid to walk away from an offer, they’ll usually chase you down and offer less. Do it enough times, make a production of it, and they usually give you blowout deals. My best deal was a pair of Beats Pro headphones, 60 USD, when they go for 400 USD here.

The weirdest drink I had was Sprite Icymint. Blue bottle, go look it up. Like Sprite, with an aftertaste of Colgate.

Yes, they do cook their ducks with the heads. And yes, they keep them in pretzel rotisseries.

Don’t drink the water! It isn’t potable from the tap, so everything has to be bottled water, even if you’re brewing coffee or tea. Luckily, the charge for a water is usually cheap (33-50 cents). And don’t drink the soda on tap at McDonalds.

Be careful if you don’t brush up on the native language. One greeting, and you can be lost in a torrent of Chinese.

A lot of locals want their towns to look great and their visitors’ experience to be good so they return in the future. Expect lots of smiles and offers for anything you might need to complete the experience.

Driving on the highways might be faster in some cases - but usually not. A 2 hour drive to the Great Wall became six, and lunch became dinner.

Surveillance is key to the government. Don’t be surprised to see numerous video cameras located throughout the country. On street signs, they take pictures of cars as they pass by. On street lamps, they video the citizens. So don’t think you’re too alone when outdoors. Tiananmen Square’s light posts have in excess of twelve cameras on each.

Interesting language fact: When we English speakers are in a rut, and don’t know what to say next, we turn to using things like ‘ummm’ and ‘hmm’ while we think. Chinese doesn’t have a word for ‘umm’. So, you’ll hear something that sounds similar to a rather dubious cuss-that-begins-with-n vocalized instead. From parents, children, even the servers in the restaurant.

Alcohol is a big thing in China. Sake and 160-proof liquor held shelf space at various stores across the trip. One came in a red bottle, with a cork stopper. One sip felt like rubbing alcohol on the tongue. And got me tipsy.

Tea is huge here, so you coffee-drinkers might have to look a little harder for your fix. No Dunkin’ Donuts here - only the occasional coffee shop, swathed in tea shops and stands. If you get the chance, try some Pu’ ‘Er (poo-Air) tea. Aged like wine, and pressed into a brick, you just scrape off some leaves and brew. Sugar is something tea drinkers forgo there as well. Try relying on the natural sweetness of the leaves, and you’ll gain a better appreciation for the little leaf that could.

The nation may love Mao and what he did for them, but they’re not afraid to make a few jabs at his expense. A t-shirt, pictured Obama in a Mao-styled portrait with a red-star military hat, and the characters to spell out ‘Oba Mao’. Instant purchase.

Try some of the exotic Kit-Kats and candy in China. A lot of it couldn’t really be considered candy by the taste and look, but Green Tea and Baked Beans are just two flavors of kit-kat I saw.

Ramen is worlds apart from here and there. Imagine making your ramen with only half the cake, but the same amount of water and seasonings. Most ramen shops sent out a bowl filled with broth, a small amount of fresh veggies, and some noodles at the bottom. I was confused. “Where’s the noodles?”

Monetary conversion in relatively easy there, RMB, or Yuen, is roughly six-to-one for USD. Thus, a tag of 36 RMB is only 6 USD. Don’t forget to haggle if you can!

Keep a watch on your purses or backpacks while in the cities. China’s crime rate is drastically reduced from ours - guns are illegal to own, as well as swords or war knives, unless they’re family relics and registered through the government - but that doesn’t mean there aren’t still dangers. The most common and often most severe crime is pickpocketing. Wear your backpacks on your chest and put those little luggage locks on the zippers if you want extra seal.

Trains are much faster and advanced in China than here. We need to really step up our game. Sure, we’ve got tradition and all that, but we’re missing out on traveling at speeds of 300 km/h. The only indicator that you’re passing another train is the car rumbling a little bit, that’s it. And yet, it’s a smooth and almost bump-less ride at that speed.

Your best friend in most restaurants is a cheat sheet: Make a list of basic meats and veggies, meals and drinks and their Chinese characters. When servers bring you plates, they put them on a lazy susan and walk away. Instead, show them the cheat sheet and point to the dish. This can prevent a mistake like having octopus instead of beef.

Marijuana grows in the wild in the country, yet it’s hyper-illegal to do anything to or with it. I saw it on the side of a mountain where a Buddhist temple was located. Perhaps that’s the real key to enlightenment?

The English translations on signs and advertisements were hilarious sometimes. ‘Feeling Music Bar’, ‘Galvin Klein Jeans’, and ‘Malrlborlo’ were my favorites.

Getting a Chinese character tattoo? Might want to authenticate it with a native speaker first: a fellow on the trip with us found out his prayer tattoo actually was just random words.

You won’t find any of General Tso’s chicken in China. That’s American exclusive. Tso was a brutal war general, so they don’t associate meals with his legacy. Instead, your palate will be assaulted by a wonderment of meats and vegetables, soups and watermelon, teas and beer, liquor and more. Oh! Don’t have drinks with ice in them, unless you freeze your own bottled water.

The architecture is great - in the gardens throughout, the homes had roof sculptures and woodworking to rival any other, sometimes, near impossible feats of art stood before me.