Golden Secrets
Chapter 6: Answer I Am.
Previous Chapter
Canterlot, late evening.
Luna hummed as she lay across the stone floor of the throne room, surveying her territory. Tonight had so far been devoid of excitement. After waiting for the first hour of night court only to find no pony arrive, Luna had jumped off her throne and declared war on her surrounding guard. The three present of course could not simply decline such a declaration and were now battling to gain the high ground. The battlefield?
Monopoly.
Across from her sat her two personal guards, Luminary Star and Reverent Wake, while on Luna's right side sat DawnClaw. Luminary wasn't doing so good, having just lost a good portion of his property to Reverent Wake. DawnClaw had shown reasonable skills in keeping his money and property under control, but wasn't so good at advancing. Luna was faring well, she had a set of property and had been progressively adding houses.
Reverent Wake however was aggressively attacking each of them with deals and offers like her life depended on it. Luminary made it too easy for her, and Dawnclaw refused every offer outright, while Luna accepted a few, knowing they would be the batpony mare’s downfall in the late game.
Currently the trio were looking at Luna expectantly.
Oh, it's my turn.
Luna picked up the dice with her magic and rolled them across the board, frowning as they landed on an eight. She levitated her piece; a crown, over to the allotted square on the board. Reverent Wake immediately snickered and rubbed her hooves together.
“Pay up Princess, twenty-six bits!” She held out her hoof expectantly and raised her nose snootily. Luna gave her a pleasant smile and nudged Dawnclaw with a wing, making him snap out of his thoughts and alight his eyes on the board.
“Oh! My apologies. Uh, Reverent you don't own that property, I do.” Luna held back a giggle as Reverent scowled and folded her arms.
“Yeah, well it was worth a shot feather butt, pay more attention!” Dawnclaw frowned at her and looked to Luna.
“I'll try to. Your Highness, fourteen bits please.” Luna flicked an ear, smiled and handed him his money. She watched as he stuck his tongue out at Reverent, and then jovially counted his currency, only to frown as well. He looked at Luna.
“Um, this is only twelve bits, Princess.” She nodded sagely.
“Correct, we stated at the start of this game that any who dared call us 'princess', 'your highness' or 'your grace' would pay a royalty fee. Thou just titled us with two of these monikers and so you lose two bits. We wish to be called by our name and not titles while we “hang out”.” She playfully smiled and patted him on the head with a hoof before passing the dice to him.
Dawnclaw grumbled something under his breath but nodded and picked up the dice. As he took his turn Luna looked back over at Luminary Wake and Reverent, to find them scuffling lightly. Reverent was standing on her hind legs and trying to get at Luminary's helmet while the male batpony tried to swat her away with a wing.
“N-no! Get back Rev, for the last time I'm not giving you my helmet!” She whimpered in response, Lowering her fluffy ears and puffing up her lower lip. She put her front hooves together over top of his wing and sniffled.
“B-but I waaaant it Lumy! It's shinier than mine!” Luminary scowled and bopped her on the nose, ending the cuteness display.
“Then polish your’s more!” Reverent Wake growled and took another swipe at his helmet.
“No! I want yours! Gimme!”
Luna giggled as the two tussled together and eventually started rolling around in a mock cat fight. Luminary jumped to his feet and ran away from the mare only to be tackled from behind and nearly pinned. In retaliation Luminary used a wing to swat her aside and roll into a standing position.
“Our helmets are exactly the same Rev, deal with it—WAUGH!” Luna winced as Rev jumped on him again, bit his shoulder, and brought him to the floor in a cloud of dust. It was quite comical to watch.
“Um, prin—I mean, Luna, I landed on your spot. How much do I owe you?” Luna blinked and hummed, looking at Dawnclaw. He watched the pair of ponies tussling with the same frown on his face as before. Luna chuckled and draped a wing over his back, making him blush and warble nervously.
“Fear not Dawnclaw, this is a normal thing for batponies. It is a regular occurrence for Luminary Star and Reverent Wake to tussle. We quite enjoy their humorous bouts and duels. Now, thou stated they owed us bits?”
He nodded, pushing a small pile of coins over to her.
While Luna counted her bits, Dawnclaw quietly sighed and shifted his wings. Luna took notice and leaned closer.
“Something troubles thee. May we inquire?” Dawnclaw chuckled dryly and fiddled with his stack of bits like they were poker chips.
“It's just, when I signed up to be a guard I figured I'd be stationed at an outpost or going on patrols with a platoon. Our drill instructor said it would never be a walk in the park, but this?” He spread his talons out in front of him, just as Luminary Star and Reverent Wake rolled by.
“I didn't expect this.” Luna kept a calm demeanor when she spoke next.
“Did thou expect war and danger? We can assure you these things happen from time to time. They are a constant in life, but in Equestria they are rare. A guard of your status might not see the front lines as thou wishes too. Do you wish to be moved to a different station perhaps?”
Dawnclaw immediately shook his head, his talons waving back and forth defensively.
“No! Not at all! I like this for sure. It's just...I, Well I didn't really expect to be playing games and having casual conversations with the Princess of the Night herself... Sorry.”
Luna laughed and hugged Dawnclaw firmly with her wing, making his feathers fluff out again in embarrassment.
“Aaah Dawnclaw thou are already in our good favor. Please do not hesitate to speak your mind, you do it so well; many of our guard are taught this, yet they fear to do so. Remaining vigilant to the old order and its decrees has it's perks, but I must admit that I enjoy this casual interaction more than my old regimen. This is why I have Reverant Wake at my side, she is rather relaxed with the rules, and knows how to have fun with me.”
As she spoke, the batponies rolled by again and Reverent poked her head out of the kerfuffle, both her helmet and Luminary's atop her head. She grinned and pointed her hoof at the Alicorn.
“Luna your mane is poofy and looks like a rat's nest!” Luna lifted her hoof to her chest in mock surprise.
“Thou will reverse thy words! Our mane is beautiful and laden with silk from the heavens!”
Dawnclaw couldn't help but smirk as his Princess stood and jumped into the mock brawl, tussling alongside her guards like she herself was one of them.
“One of us...hmm.” He liked the sound of that. Alicorns could be terrifying in their own right, and yet... Yet they had soft sides just like every other creature.
As he watched the three play around he became aware of a sound. It was gentle and muffled, but certainly present. He looked around. It was coming from the other side of the throne room, the entrance in fact. He blinked, realizing what the sound was.
Somepony was knocking at the doors.
He blinked and checked the time on a nearby wall clock, it read eleven thirty. While he already knew that court had been declared over, it was easily still accessible at the current hour. Standing and stretching out his limbs, he walked over and opened the door, peering out into the hall.
Nothing.
“Hello? Is anypony there?” He was met with the faintest of sounds, it sounded a lot like sniffling. Curiosity taking over, he stepped out into the dimly lit hall and looked around. Sitting on a nearby bench was a young, lavender-colored unicorn mare. She was curled into a tight ball; next to her was an old book and a manilla envelope. She had her head buried in her hooves and was crying quietly.
Dawnclaw frowned and walked over, unsure of what to do. For a moment, he internally fought with himself over pony customs, and then he reached out a talon and gently patted the mare's shoulder.
“Um, miss? A-are you alright?” She jumped, lifting her head in surprise, and Dawnclaw took a step back.
“Easy there, I just heard you crying and wondered...um, what is wrong?” She sniffled and rubbed at her eyes with her foreleg, to her chagrin the tears refused to stop.
“N-nothing that concerns a guard, I-I just came to see if Luna w-was here...I really n-need to see her.” She tried to smile but it looked pitiful. He nodded and helped her off the chair. Gently draping a wing over her back he nodded, speaking gently.
“That's fine, Luna is in the throne room. My name is Dawnclaw Songfeather, what is your name?” The mare sniffled and haphazardly levitated her stuff onto her back.
“I-I'm n-not really sure anymore actually....” Dawnclaw almost stopped and questioned if she should go to the infirmary. With an answer like that one would think she had a concussion or amnesia. Instead he merely raised a brow at her.
“Ooo-kay, well we'll see if Luna can help with that. Come on.” With gentle nudges of his wing and a few words of encouragement he managed to get her moving forward. He reopened the doors and entered with her following right beside him.
Luna and her guards had split apart finally, with Luna wearing both helmets and her tiara; currently teetering atop the pile on her head. She was taking a victorious stance over top Reverent Wake and Luminary, both of whom looked tuckered out and soundly beaten.
Dawnclaw cleared his throat loud enough for the trio to look up.
“Your Highness, we have a visitor who needs to see you.” Lifting his wing up, Dawnclaw watched as Luna's eyes widened and she frowned. Dropping her playful act in less then a second, she dropped the helmets to their respectful owners and briskly trotted up; looking the mare over.
Twilight's mane and tail were singed and burnt, signs of magical overuse. Knowing Twilight, she probably had teleported halfway to the palace and then run out of steam. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying, and her forelegs were covered with dirt showing she'd walked for a bit before arriving at the castle. Reaching forward, Luna brought Twilight into a hug. The unicorn flinched at first, but then quickly huddled close to her.
“Twilight Sparkle...What ever is the matter? What happened?” Twilight sniffled and hiccupped, nuzzling into Luna's chest fur for comfort. It sent flickers of warmth through Luna to know Twilight felt safe enough in her embrace to do so. Twilight slumped her hindquarters to the floor in exhaustion, sending the book and envelope clattering to the floor. It was several seconds before she spoke, but when she did, Luna heard the fear in her voice.
“... I-is it true...?” Luna raised an eyebrow slowly, and looked past Twilight to the old book and envelope. The red words stamped across the front of the file said everything Luna needed to know. She looked down at Twilight and smiled sadly.
The secret was out of the bag.
“I do not believe I am the one who should answer that. However, I know what, or rather whom you seek. Would you like to go see her, Twilight?” Twilight looked up at Luna. She was scared, terrified even. Her eyes darted left and right as she searched for some inkling of humor in Luna's face. Something, anything to say this was all a big joke.
She found none, and so she nodded.
Luna nuzzled Twilight's neck reassuringly and helped her stand. Looking to her guards she gave them a curt nod.
“Stay here and wait for our return.” They merely nodded.
Levitating the book and the envelope over to her side, Luna tapped into her magic and they quietly melded into shadows.
The moment they disappeared Dawnclaw sighed and sat down, his wings going slack. Luminary walked over and started cleaning up the board game. Reverent picked up her helmet, donned it,and walked over to sit next to Dawnclaw.
“So... What the heck was that all about?” Dawnclaw shrugged, completely confused as to what had just happened.
“I don't know...but I don't think I want to find out anytime soon.”
The hallway was sparsely lit, and thus added to the gloomy mood that permeated the area. Luna had decided to appear a few hallways away from her sister's chambers, hoping she could calm Twilight down before the fateful encounter. As they melded out of the floor, Twilight lost her footing and fell to the floor, crumpling and immediately started sobbing. Luna mentally cursed herself for forgetting how disorienting her magic was to other participants.
Lowering herself to the floor, Luna draped a wing over the girl and cooed softly, nuzzling here and there on her nape in an attempt to comfort the mare. It somewhat worked; Twilight stopped flinching away and instead shuffled closer and buried her face into the lunar alicorn's side.
For a while they lay there unmoving save for Luna's gentle touches and Twilight's sobs. A set of batpony guards came around the corner, but quickly detoured after receiving a firm glare from their leader. Luna watched as the guards disappeared down the hall, and then went back to nuzzling Twilight. The mare had gone silent a couple seconds prior and was now sniffling into Luna's fur, her eyes downcast.
“S-she really—*cough*—i-is my mother isn't she?”
Twilight chuckled dryly as her hoof ran a small circle through Luna's belly fur.
“Heh heh....It's ironic really. I-I always had those fantasies where she w-was secretly my mother... Back when I was a foal. I a-always told myself to stop d-dreaming, that it was just my imagination... B-but to find out it's really n-not a dream?”
Her eyes had grown more dilated as she spoke, only to relax as the energy vanished. Her pupils moved to look up at Luna's.... So scared, trying to be strong and yet just barely holding on.
“... Y-you knew about this didn't you, Luna?” Luna blinked slowly, watching as Twilight sniffed and rubbed a fetlock across her cheek. Luna sighed, letting the breath carry out before replying.
“We... Did, but I am just as much in the dark as you Twilight. We learned of this not a few days prior. It came with no small amount of avarice towards our sister and her decision to keep it secret. A child should not be kept in the dark, let alone lied to about her heritage.”
Twilight neither nodded nor looked startled; blank faced if anything at the news that she'd been a secret family member of the royal line.
“S-so..you and Celestia...are...my...” Luna hugged Twilight closely. Wanting nothing more than to pull the dredges of her fear from her and replace them with warmth.
Alas, only my sister can do this...
“We are related, yes. It comes out rudely perhaps at this moment, but we are more than pleased to say it for the first time, Twilight, we are your aunt, and thou are our niece.” Luna felt her eyes water as she spoke the words aloud.
“Once more, we have family...”
Twilight blinked and slowly comprehended this.
“S-so you and Ce-Celestia...are my family then?” Luna nodded and leaned her head in close to touch foreheads with the smaller mare.
“Yes Twilight. We know that it hurts right now, and you are lost and attempting to grasp for footing, but it will become clear very soon. Come, I believe we should get to my sister's room. Celestia wants to talk with you. Besides, she should be consoling you, not me.”
After a few moments to calm herself, Twilight stood. Making sure she was ready, Luna escorted The mare to the stairwell that led to Celestia's bedroom. Together they walked up the spiral case, with Luna draping her wing over Twilight for extra comfort and encouragement.
The were halted by a large set of golden double doors and two Royal night guards. Luna stepped forward and took a moment to speak with them, while Twilight hung back.
She wasn't sure what she was feeling. Anger seemed the most logical at the moment, but fear and worry had burst to the front of her mind the moment she'd entered the castle. She feared she'd done the wrong thing, unlocked the wrong door and figured out the worst puzzle.
Celestia's words had struck her even harder then in that moment.
“Answers are never easy to find, Twilight, they must be fought for. This is why knowledge is just as sharp as any sword or spear, it can penetrate what you believe in, and make it brittle and susceptible to doubt. Find the answers, and then find their facts...”
The answer to her puzzle was herself. She was the hidden answer, the unbearable fact, the solid truth. Celestia being her mother was such a sharp truth too. It hadn't just made her doubt what she knew… She had lost all hope in what she now could or could not believe. Was Luna really once Nightmare Moon? Did Discord really do all the things he was blamed for? How many other secrets would she learn of?
She knew no answer to these questions, and each time she tried to calm down, more questions would pop up. Why keep her birth a secret? Why hide it from the country and from Twilight herself? What point was there to hiding it? She had remembered the Doctor's words as well.
“Pointlessly hidden secrets....” She wasn't sure how he knew of her birth without Celestia directly telling him, but he'd also mentioned that others knew of it, speculated it's truth. She was grasping at each point of thought like straws floating in a void of disbelief, unable to fully comprehend the situation and so she came revolving back to the one question that came back to her every time she tried to grasp onto hope.
“Why...why would you abandon me...?”
The doors opened, and Luna looked back to see Twilight sitting with her eyes glued to the floor as pinpricks.
“Why....”
Luna frowned and walked back to the mare, gently nudging her to stand, and then moving her forward into the dark room. As the doors closed behind them, Twilight felt her head start slowly lifting as if of it's own accord.
No...no...I don't want to...look....at
A bed. A golden blanketed bed lay before her. It's sheets and covers brought warm memories to the front of her mind, assuaging hr worry momentarily. That bed had been subjected to nights spent reading, casting spells, laughing over spilled tea, and tender moment of cuddling; rare and sparse, but it did occur.
Twilight's eyes fell on Celestia.
Her...
Twilight almost choked as tears ebbed past her attempt at a calm mask. She put a hoof up to her mouth in an attempt to soften the noise. It was quiet, but to her it sounded like a cannon had gone off in the room. Celestia was sleeping, so peacefully. He mane drifting lazily this way and that, as if on it's own agenda. In Celestia's front hooves rested a large body pillow, gripped tightly as the alicorn nuzzled into it; murmurs of sweet nothings reached Twilight's ears.
She took a step forward.
Then another, and another, Slowly edging across the room. Her breath and body seemed to freeze as Celestia's wing twitched and refolded over the comforter. As she got closer, emotions boiled to the surface like lava pouring out of a volcano. She sobbed, she coughed, she cried.
She reached the bed and didn't stop. Front and back hooves connected with the blankets as she felt her body move all its own. She was angry, she was scared, she was worried....
She was home.
A nuzzle, then a nudge, and then a firm nip to the wing joint lifted it quickly, revealing a still sleeping alicorn, albeit now murmuring uncomfortably in her sleep. Slipping under the wing, Twilight firmly ripped the pillow from it's position, waking the sleeping ascendant from her dream.
'Huzzah..Lulu..is that—!!” Celestia had half a moment to grasp her surroundings before something collided with her chest. She blinked and looked down, intent on reprimanding her body pillow for hitting her.
She found a purple unicorn instead.
In the span of half a second, Celestia's eyes widened to their largest points, her wings enclosed the mare, and her front hooves wrapped around Twilight, pulling her close. She had no idea what was going on, but Twilight, her Twilight was in her arms, and she was scared.
Mothers knew what to do in that moment.
“Shh, there there, I'm here Twilight, I'm here.” Celestia nuzzled and purred as she rubbed her chin atop Twilight's head.
“I..I-I'm so...*cough*... Mad at you...” Celestia blinked slowly, the words were muffled but she understood them. She frowned and looked to the edge of the bed, where Luna stood. She had a pensive look about her as she watched them. When the sisters eyes met, Celestia was told everything she need to know.
Twilight knew.
Celestia went to speak with Luna, but a sharp pain in her shoulder made her wince. She looked down and saw Twilight had poked her roughly with her horn.
“I...I thought it was some k-kind of joke! Some ploy to m-make fun of me! But no... Nope, it wasn't...” she sniffed and withdrew her horn before drawing blood.
“All those years I thought it'd b-be so cool...I thought to myself, 'who kn-knows,with the w-way she treats me, maybe I am her child... W-well guess what!? I figured out the puzzle, I aced the game, I passed the DAMN test! I'm your freaking daughter!” She screamed and slammed her hooves hooves into Celestia's chest in an attempt to cause harm.
They didn't. Twilight flailed and beat her hooves into Celestia's chest, crying and whimpering even as Luna climbed into the bed on the other side, she coughed and sobbed as Celestia held her in her arms and nuzzled her. She cried and cried, never once being able to stop the flow of tears or wanting to.
“...*Sniff*....I'm...I'm your daughter...and...and, and you abandoned me...” Twilight forced herself to look up, forced herself to see the tears streaming down Celestia's face. He voice was soft but sharp.
“...Why... Why did you abandon me?” Celestia looked up for a moment, trying to catch her breath, but to no avail. This was not what she'd wanted, and she'd known it since the day she'd signed the adoption paperwork. Twilight was her child, and now she had to lay everything bare. She wanted to, but it hurt so much to do so.
“Sister...now is the time...” Luna met her gaze. Luna's eyes were firm, passionate, but loving all the same. Yes. She had to do this, for herself, but for Twilight as well. They needed closure.
“I...Twilight...My Little Nova...” Twilight's eyes widened slightly at the nickname. Celestia put her head down and gently started nuzzling Twilight's neck.
“I...I am sorry Twilight, truly I am. I did the worst thing a mother could do, and I will tell you everything... I promise...Please though, it's hard. It's very hard to explain—“ She was cut off as Twilight beat her hoof into her chest again.
“How can it be harder than this!? I went twenty years without knowing this truth and you’re tell me it’s hard to explain it!? You decided to lead me on a god forsaken puzzle quest instead of pulling me aside and simply telling me the truth!” In her anger Twilight snapped forward and bit down on Celestia's shoulder as hard as she could.
Celestia visibly cringed and grit her teeth as the pain bloomed in her muscles. She did not however, move away from Twilight's assault. Instead, her grip only tightened. Twilight tightened her grip but eventually her jaw hurt and she released. She collapsed with her chin resting over Celestia's neck.
“You...*sniff* you told me to promise not to hate you the other day.... Now I know why...”
Celestia didn't nod, she didn't frown, if anything, she merely leaned her head into the mare's neck and cried alongside her daughter.
“...I messed up royally didn't I?” Celestia felt a bark of laughter go through her from Twilight and saw a small smirk from Luna.
“Y-you...you did...you really did....m-mother.”
Celestia smiled slowly, and cried harder. She squeezed her child firmly in her arms, hoping to send warmth and hope into Twilight. For several moments the trio of mares lay huddled together. No one spoke. The sound of gentle sobs and hushed coughs muffled by wings and blankets. After nearly an hour of emotions, Celestia felt the need to speak. Calming her tears and focusing on her words, Celestia nuzzled into Twilight's mane, speaking softly but with command.
“Twilight, hear me, please. I will do whatever it takes to fix this... Come rain or shine I will—“ She had expected it to be hard to say, hard to get out. But not this much.
She hadn't expected to have a hoof pushed into her mouth.
She glared up at Luna and pulled away from her limb, intending on reprimanding her. But Luna's suddenly smiled and pointed at Twilight. Looking down, Celestia found Twilight had fallen asleep. Exhaustion had taken it's toll and the unicorn was out cold, Her form huddled so close to Celestia's body, the alicorn could feel the heartbeats between them.
“We are quite certain she teleported halfway here, if not farther. Twas only a matter of time before she dozed off. We will take our leave sister so thou may—“
“Please stay, Luna.”
Luna arched a brow, lowering her hoof from it's escaping position.
“May we inquire as to why? This will be a very unpleasant morning thou will be waking up to and we know when one needs their rest.”
Celestia gently began nudging and nipping at Twilight's mane, her mothering instincts coming into play already as she preened her child haphazard hairstyle. She paused, and looked to Luna.
“All the more reason for you to stay, Lulu. When I wake tomorrow I need to alter my schedule rapidly. I have to cancel my meetings, cancel any trips, court will be closed and the council forewarned. Twilight needs something to awake to tomorrow. If not me, then you.”
Luna bared her teeth and Poked Celestia's bruised shoulder.
“It need not fall on us to be there for her, when you will be Tia. I will rework your schedule, and then meet you back here after all is done. Thou will not be leaving thine child's side but to relieve thyself. This I decree and demand it be followed, are we clear?”
“Lulu you cannot order me around just as I cannot—” Luna's glare stopped further verbal mutiny in it's tracks.
“Are. We. Clear?”
Sighing, Celestia nodded. She still found a smile gracing her lips as the thought of keeping Twilight near her came to mind.
“Fair enough Lulu, I accept your terms.... You’re right after all. I should be here to explain things to her, not you.” Luna hopped off the bed and smirked.
“Truer words were never spoken by thee Tia. But just so you know, Our punishment for thee is a lot greater than a few nips to thy shoulder. Thou will regret keeping us in the dark.” Celestia smirked as well.
“Oh, what could thou possibly do to harm me?” Luna chuckled darkly as she exited the room, the grin on her lips making Celestia seriously question why she'd asked.
“Many things Tia, soooo many things...For starters, you can say goodbye to that triple layered, hazelnut glazed, cream filled, strawberry topped, chocolate cake thy kitchen maids were bringing thee tomorrow.” She heard an audible gasp and whimper from within the doors right before they clicked.
“Aaaah we will enjoy our sweet victory...”
As the doors closed, Celestia let herself sigh heavily, before laying her head just over Twilight's and resting her cheek against the soft plush of the pillow. She took a moment to shift herself so the two bodies were as snugly fit together, and then she did something for Twilight that she hadn't done in a long time.
She sang a lullaby.
“In my arms I hold a child,
a heart untamed, a spirit wild.
Yet, whilst here, in my embrace,
I can gaze upon your face.
My little nova, my Twilight star.
I will love thee wherever you lay,
I'll cast my light over ‘n ‘neath your day.
Your flower has bloomed, and I watched it grow...”
Celestia gently placed a kiss upon Twilight's brow, just above her horn, and a single tear slid from her cheek to dampen her pillow.
“Now I know, now I know,
I will never, ever, let you go.”
Author's Notes:
and there you go.