News had just come through, which shocked the whole nation. There was a new alicorn, a child. I wasn't concerned about it but others were, especially Iron Brigade.

"You know this is the first time in history there's ever been a child alicorn!"

"Yea, that's all?"

"What do you think? The crystal empire has only been a thing for roughly ten thousand years!"

"Huh, sounds about right. It disappeared for a while right?"

"Yea, then it suddenly reappeared. We had secured the city when some random dragon came out of nowhere and completed our primary objective."

I walked downstairs, small talk was going nowhere. As I walked down the second set of steps, however, the crystal started ringing. I answered it and Twilight came on the reflection.

"You got the news right?" She was impatient.

"Yea, you're an aunt?"

"That's one thing, but there's a ceremony that we need to attend."

"We? You mean you right?"

"No actually, we have to go to the crystal empire to have the baby's crystaling done."

I thought for a second, I never heard of that. I had kept walking and just gotten into the bunker when I continued talking.

"What in san hell is that?"

"Honestly we don't know, spike broke the vase that had the images on it when he tried to put it down."

"Classic, no really though what is it."

"I wasn't joking. We have no idea other then we need to be there."

"And you want me to come because it's pretty much on the border of of Yakyakistan?"

"With the Manehattan attack we can't be too safe."

'You never can. If you just realized that the land only a few miles north of there is a deathtrap you're blind or dumb. Maybe both.'

"Alright, and how do you want me to get back? I'm a solid two day drive from you?"

"Already figured out, we're teleporting you to me. Your friend isn't coming."

Octavia heard that and yelled something incomprehensible.

"Alright, do it now, but I'm taking them with me."

"Fine, if you insist but you'll need to pay for their train tickets."

"You realize you've made me a millionaire from killing ponies you don't like right?"

"Oh yea I forgot about that. Just grab her and whoever else and tell me when, you'll be in my library."

"Well that's easy."

I called for Octavia and Starlight. They both showed up, I grabbed them and suddenly appeared in a massive library. I recognized it from roughly six months back. Sitting in this room thinking about killing Fancy Pants and Filthy Rich, man how times change. I looked over at Twilight, who had her eyes closed. There was somepony behind a massive stack of papers, who it was was anypony's guess.

"Hey Twilight, we're kindof here, you can open your eyes."

"You can't blame me, I'd never tried this spell before."

"Wait, what'd happen if something went wrong?"

"I thought that you'd get mixed up in translation or something. Whatever who'd you bring?"

"Two friends."

"Perfect! I was just teaching Starlight about friendship!"

Wait... what.

"You look shocked, what's wrong?"

Starlight was right behind me, what is she talking about. The stack of papers fell and there was another Starlight with her head on a table. The hair was the wrong color, I instantly knew who was real.

"Wait, how long has she been here?"

"About a week why?"

"That's not Starlight."

The other Starlight's face looked up at me.

"Kill me. Friendship is Bullshit."

"Gladly."

I put a bullet through her head, spilling red liquid all over the books. Twilight was horrified, until we checked the body.

"Yep, that's a changeling alright."

"Why are you so calm!"

"You know what? I have no idea."

"Whatever it's creeping me out! Stop."

The other five bursted through the door, spike was already in the room and things had happened to fast for him to register.

"Twilight we heard something are yo-"

They stopped, staring at the red mess.

"What is that..." Applejack broke the silence.

"If I told you I spilled red ketchup all over the walls would you believe me?"

"What about the pony on the ground?"

The changeling was indeed still alive. Didn't matter to me.

"If I told you she was there when I got here would you believe me?

"No. We wouldn't."

"Well that sucks. No like really I was hoping you would. Anywho little Twililly Coyote over here is fine, she's shaken not stirred."

"That's not making me confident, you know that right?" Rainbow Dash said, keeping her eyes on the rolling Changeling. The Changeling had managed to roll herself into a sorta roll in the paper. The Changeling is now going to be called the 'Burrito Burger' from now on, as she is essentially a big blob of meat between a long rolled piece of paper.

"Well so are we off to the Crystal Empire or something?"

Everypony in the room but Twilight looked at me, shocked to the core.

"Is HE going with us?"

"Yes, gotta problem with that?" I said, trying my hardest to be salty.

"Well... considering you just shot somepony in our home I do have a itsy bitsy problem with it."

"That's too bad, I have so much money I can tank the entire countries economy with a single check. I'll do it don't make me!" In all fairness I could probably fund a militia for a third world country at this point. It's getting ridiculous really.

"He is coming, he's our security."

"I feel REAL secure as he just shot somepony."

"Well that pony was a changeling, the real starlight is here."

"Yep, that's me." Starlight said, raising her hoof.

"Oh yea about that, Starlight wanna live here?"

"Don't have anywhere else to go, might as well."

"We have one condition though, you gotta study friendship."

"Fair enough. What's the first assignment?"

"I'll tell you on the train."

"So the rumor of a new alicorn was true after all." Torn Banner sat in the bedroom of the embassy, it was originally nothing much but he'd managed to get lots of furniture in to turn it into a palace. It worked relatively well, considering that most of the houses were in ruins from the years of poverty and civil war.

"It appears so. This gives us an opening to strike, but we'll need to mobilize forces."

"His crystaling is soon, there are many travelers coming to see it. We'll get in through there. Now as for your report, Starlight is deceased?" This question was more rhetorical, but yet it was answered anyway.

"Yes, he was shot."

"That's a shame, I had a lot of hope in him."

"In all reality we were biting off more than we could chew, Twilight was about to give him a mission to meet somepony that he never even knew. Apparently the big bad communist wolf did have friends."

"It's better to go out in glory than to die in shame, yes. Speaking of which, you're dismissed."

Without hesitation the officer left his room, only to be bagged and stoned in the courtyard. Doubting God was a crime in their country, punished by death.

While he was being stoned, the officer said one thing. The final thing he yelled was a warning, but also a curse.

"Fear the religion scholars! They are teaching lies so they can hang loose with the rules! Be wary as they are blind to God and his ways. If you follow them you too are blind! When a blind man follows another blind man they both end up in a ditch!"

He was stoned right then. And thus the battle of the Crystal Empire began.

Author's Notes:

Yes, I like bible quotes.