“Three of a kind.” Sweet smirked. “What do you three have?”

Waiting for the maids to arrive, we started up a game of poker using some bottle caps we found as chips. It was strange, there was a whole bunch of them in an old shoe box hidden in one of the drawers. We found it while trying to find some hidden weapon that we hoped was there. No luck unfortunately, but we did find a few other strange things other than the poker set.

One was a small stack of Play Mare magazines that were surprisingly still in good condition, despite Sweet finding a few pages stuck together. Just... eeewe. There was a finely crafted black marble statue of Princess Luna, hidden in a box, which wouldn’t be too odd, except she also had a massive dick for… some reason. There was also a midnight blue latex full bodysuit, obviously made for a stallion, but had a collar with the word “Princess” printed on it, which I suppose was also supposed to vaguely look like Luna. Sweet teased me with the body suit, full knowing that I was allergic to latex.

It was like a nightmare made real… you know what? Let’s not go there. I was feeling itchy already just thinking about it. The last thing we found fit right in with the other oddities. It was a double ended strap on dildo, which at this point, didn’t freak me out, just made me want to take another wash.

“Pair of two’s, and a pair of fours” I put my useless cards down.

“Two princesses.” Red said, putting her cards down.

“Nothing.” Merit set his hoof down, his attempt to bluff was fouled by Sweets cockyness.

Other than the caps, each one of us were holding onto one of the four weird objects we had found. Sweet was holding onto the play mare magazines, Red had the statue, Merit got the suit forced onto him, and I was left with the strap on. It was winner take all, and I wanted none of it. The only problem, we agreed that whoever won, got to make a request of the rest of us. Worse yet, none of us were drunk, yet we agreed out of boredom.

Mayal simply sat and watched us. Her job was to stay out of sight until the doors opened, and when they did, she’d slip out. She seemed a bit annoyed that she could not join the game, but we could not risk her missing her window of opportunity should it happen during the game.

This time, Red was the dealer. Oddly enough, she didn’t use her magic to deal, rather choosing to pick up the cards with her hooves, and shuffling them like an earth pony pro.

“Nice,” Sweet commented. “When this all blows over, we should all go to the lucky rabbit’s foot. With those skills, you’d really draw a crowd.”

I rolled my eyes, “You sure you don’t want to go just to hassle the staff like last time?”

“Hay, can you blame me?” Sweet snickered back. “Rumor has it, that there’s a stallion working there as one of the bunny mares, but he looks like the cutest mare you have ever seen.” I could see a little bit of drool from the side of her mouth before she wiped it off. “So, I’ve got an itch to check if it’s true.”

All I could feel was pity for poor Bagpipes, having to deal with random mares going ball checking. When my cards were dealt, I lifted to see an okay hoof. Two aces, the cards depicting the ministry mare Twilight, and Pinkie. Though it was strange, as the two cards didn’t look normal. The card with Pinky looked sad, and slightly deflated, one hoof reaching out, as though she was reaching over to Twilight’s card. Twilight’s card was looking away from pinky, nose turned up like she was snubbing her.

“Viby, You okay?” Sweet’s question jolted me out of my chair.

“Oh, I...” I looked back at the cards, and they were back to normal. “I’m fine, just got stuck in a thought.”

“Right.” Red spoke up. “In or out?”

“In.” the three of us spoke up, placing a few caps into the pile. My own pile was much smaller than the others, with Sweet having taken most of them.

“So.” Sweet leered at Merit. “Enough talking about what we’re going to do, I want to hear about... you know...?”

“Know what?” Merit responded.

“Well you said that you have been with a stallion.” I saw Sweet wipe her mouth again, making me worry about her a little. Not that I wasn’t interested too, but she seemed a bit too eager to know.

He shrugged. “Fine, don’t know why you’re interested, but whatever. It was when I was in boot camp, and he was my wing mate. Our drill Sergeant was a mean old bastard, something about his son turning traitor made him harder on the recruits. Well, the two of us got a bit of a smart mouth on us, and ended up doing extra survival training. A long flight with minimal supplies, I thought we were going to die near the end. But about at the halfway point we had to take a rest, and I guess he must have been stressed out, as when we touched down on the clouds, he got a raging boner.”

Sweet snickered, but quickly regained some composer when she saw me glare at her. I don’t know why her sense of humor is so foalish, but I didn’t need her to start laughing about the word boner right now, not with the strap-on poking me in the back.

Merit continued. “Well, he tried rubbing it out, nothing worse than flying with a third leg out. But his hooves were a bit too numb to do it because of the long flight and all. So, I offered to help him out, the only problem was that my hooves had gone numb too. It was an awkward moment before he asked to well... mount me. At first, I was against it because we needed to get moving and I was not going to leave my wing mate behind. But when another minute passed and he was showing signs of only getting more stressed out I gave in. I told him to be quick about it, and well, it happened.”

“Details?” Sweet asked as she rotated her hoof.

“I’m not going to say it wasn’t fun.” The Pegasus sighed, almost regretfully. “And we both needed it after the day we’d had, but things did get a bit weird between us afterwards. Well you see, he had a mare friend, so at first it was a don’t ask, don’t tell thing. Despite that, were a few other times we ‘helped’ each other out like that, and over time we formed more than close relationship that continued after boot camp. Eventually he convinced me to join him and his mare friend, never telling her about our private times together. Not to say this was not fun too, but eventually it went from the three of us, to his wife and I as he watched. Not too long after that, the mare ended up pregnant, and the both of them got kicked out of the enclave for undisclosed reasons.” He drooped a bit with that, hanging his wings sadly. “Never saw them after that, and part of me wonders what happened to them when the clouds came down over Equestria. I still miss him some days, even if he was a bit twitchy sometimes.”

I had to scratch my head. “Wait, does that mean you have a foal out there?”

“It’s probably mine?” He shrugged. “As far as I know, he had stopped sleeping with her for a few months before she found out. My guess is that was the real reason why they were kicked out, as having a foal without government permission was highly frowned upon.”

“Wow,” Sweet said, looking less excited than before. “Now I feel a bit sad. I hope those two are okay.”

“They were strong Enclave supporters, and both of them we no stranger to doing what it took to keep their lives together.” Merit said with a smile. “I bet they’re better than just fine.” His gaze then drifted over to Red Steel. “How about you, miss nobility? I bet you have a good story.”

Red tilted back, rubbing her chin. “I am certainly feeling a bit heated, though a lady does not reveal her secrets so easily.” She smiled. “But this once, I might as well.” She ran her hoof through her mane and looked to relax a bit. “Years ago, I fancied this one stallion. Strong, brave, you know the type. But unfortunately for me, he fancied another mare. Now, I’m not one to let such a thing bother me, I went and found this mare, only to find that she indeed fancied him almost as much as I did as well.”

“Sucks for you.” I snarked at her.

“Indeed.” Red replied before continuing. “She was a very stubborn girl, fawning over him so much that eventually we came to blows over the right to his heart. I came out on top, naturally, and so she relented. From their it was a simple matter of letting the stallion know my interests, and soon he was mine. The first night was, interesting to say the least, but mother was none too pleased when she found out, but it was worth it.”

Sweet had raised an eyebrow. “Should I ask about how old you were when this happened, or is that a bad idea?”

“Miss Sax,” Red frowned. “Don’t take me for a trollop of a foal, I was well old enough at the time.” Her eyes then hovered over to me. “And you, miss Echo.”

Great, all this talk of sex had me all hot and bothered, I doubt I could tell any story even if I wanted too. “I don’t…”

A knocking from the door cut me off, and became my saving grace.

“Housekeeping!” Oh, by Celestia, it was the two maids. “We have your washed clothes and a fruit basket.”

“I’ll get that.” I let everyone know, as I got up, and quickly trotted to the door. Opening the door, Strawberry Yogurt stood in front of me with very wide eyes and a stiff smile, with a very… wobbly Thunder Crack. The two quickly entered the room, Strawberry came in with a worried look on her face. “Are things okay?” I asked, fearing that thing had already fallen apart before we could get started.

“Yes! No problem at all!” Strawberry blurted nervously. The door slammed shut, and the unicorn fell to the floor. “I lied, we fucked up!” She blurted out, tears forming in her eyes. “Life ruined, completely.” The others started to gather, but I shooed them away, giving the three of us some distance.

“It can’t be all that bad… I mean, the guard aren’t breaking down the doors.” I leaned in, feeling a little bit guilty about asking. “Did you at least bring the underwear?”

“No!” Thunder croaked, the pegasus seemingly having a hard time standing up straight. “I mean, we grabbed something,” she giggled to herself, as though by convulsion. “but none of it was underwear.”

“The fuck!?” I looked at the two, they both way too out of it to be normal, their eyes a bit bloodshot, and it clicked. “You’re both high, aren’t you?!”

Thunder put her hoof to her chest. “I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good… or was it that we are up to no good.” she slumped to the side, holding herself up with one of her forelegs, but only just barely.

“Sorry, we kind of found ourselves in the contraband room looking for the laundry.” Strawberry’s eyes shifted away from me. “And there was this box full of all sort of stuff, labeled ‘Best Day Eva!’ and it turned out it was full of chems.”

“Hay, That’s my box!” Sweet spoke up loudly. I glared back at her, and she looked away. “I was not planning on using, I just know this black market trader, that’s all.”

I face hoofed. “How much?”

“Well…” The unicorn still avoided eye contact. “At first we weren’t going to touch it, but Thunder found a bottle of chill pill’s, and well they are her fav…”

Strawberry squeaked as I pulled her snout to snout. “Those were mine” I growled at her.

“I knew it!” Sweet called out. “You are using aren’t you!”

I let go of the unicorn, and glared at Sweet. “I have an excuse, the shit I have had to put up with, I deserve to feel normal.”

Sweet ground her teeth before yelling. “Oh, for fuck sake! At least you didn’t have some monster eat your eyes out and pluck your fucking wings!” She then smirked slyly “What happened to you? Did you accidentally trip into a puddle?”

“Oh, don’t fucking go there, Sweet.” I shouted back at her. “How could you know how it feels to have your mind violated, everything that is you stripped away. If I could, I’d… I’d.” tears welled up, I couldn’t stop it. “I wouldn’t wish that on you. Take my wing, my eyes. But please, don’t ever send me back there.” I collapsed into sobs infront of everypony.

“It’s okay, you are free, and I’m here.” In my blurry vision, Sweet came over and held me tight. “If those fuckers come back, I’ll give them a right thrashing, like before.”

I felt a bit calmer, and pushed her away. “Thanks, but you already missed that opportunity.”

“How come?” she asked.

“That first maid who was there during my bath, she was another Reaver.” I said, wiping the tears from my face. “She almost killed me too. I managed to knock her out the window, but I thought I was dead for sure.”

“Fuck.” Sweet breathed. “You’re a real badass aren’t you.”

“What?” I cocked an eyebrow at her, but she just snickered to herself. I pushed her away a little more “Stop that, it’s weirding me out.”

“You know what you need?” She took a deep breath, and sighed. “Some alone time with Merit, just to unwind a bit.” She grabbed me, quickly spun me around, and then shoved me at the stallion.

He looked confused, and a bit worried. “What’s going on?” He asked as his eyes drifted down to me.

“She’s stressed, and you’re a better outlet for her than using drugs.” Sweet looked a little annoyed. “Do your stallion duty, and help her out with it like you did with your stallion friend.” She shooed us with her hooves towards the bedroom. “Go, before she starts acting like a stick in the mud.”

We trotted into the room, I feeling a bit embarrassed about Sweets actions. Looking back at Merit, somehow the moment was lost in all the yelling, and crying, and the…

“For crying out loud!” Sweet yelled as she dragged Thunder and Strawberry into the room. “You four have fun, I’m going to keep watch.” she said, leaving the room before closing the door.

The sound of heavy hoofsteps could be heard outside. “What in tartarus is going on!” from the next room the voice of a stallion yelled out.

“Just idiots getting to frisky. Best go back to your positions.” Sweet spoke.

A loud grunt came from main room. “Don’t presume you can give me orders stripe, or I’ll see to it that I’ll be confiscating one of those legs of your, and beat you with it.”

“Oh, that would be fun to watch.” I heard Red speak up. “But this is neither the time or place for hostilities. The maids simply brought the wrong change of clothes, and our friend was already quite stressed out as it was. They’re just helping her get changed now, nothing to make a scene over.” She smiled as she shifted to a lighter tone. “But I am grateful that you are willing to check up on me, I’ll let the lord know of your dedication to your duty.”

“Fine.” A guard spoke loudly, and I had a feeling it was directed to me. “But any more noise from you lot, and I’ll be putting in a request form for putting you all into interrogation.” I could hear the heavy footsteps slowly fade.

“Later, assholes” Sweet yelled back at them.

A poke on my shoulder drew my attention from the door, and to Merit, who then pointed down at the two mares. The two were in a tight embrace, lips locked, their eyes glazed over. But what really drew my attention, was that Strawberry had something stuck in both of her rear holes and Thunder. She had snagged and already gotten the strap-on haphazardly attached to her.

“Now, I don’t have any experience in this, but I’ve heard story’s.” Merit spoke nervously. “but if they start going at it now, that unicorn may have problem. I mean she’s still, you know, plugged up...”

I face hoofed, clunking my head with a metal hoof. “Fuck it, it’s too late to go back out there now.”

__________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

I had to force my mouth to stop chattering, the claws being a bit louder then pony teeth. This was do to the moment having arrived, and I needing to be as unnoticed as possible. The two weird mares had come in, looking less calm than before, and leaving the door wide open. Quietly, I shuffled along the ground and out through the door. Something must have snagged, as the door slammed shut behind me, though luckily my tail was in the air, so it didn’t get crushed. Brushing myself off, and feeling a bit proud of getting passed the first step, I readied myself for the next.

I took a deep breath. “Mayall Galaxy, you’ve got this.” I told myself, calming my nerves, or whatever I had.

“Who’s there?” A gruff stallion called out.” And I already failed, yay me!”.

I straightened up, “This should be no different than trying not to anger sis.” I mumbled to myself. I flared my fins out to look more proper, and less submissive. Unfortunately, they ended up poking out of my disguise, so I flattened them again. Looking back at my tail, I still wondered how it looked like a pony’s. This magic stuff sure seemed to work well out of convenience.

Note to self, Unicorns are frightening beasts of unimaginable power.

The guards turned the corner, and one of their eyes drifted to me. “You, who are…” yelling from the room drew their attention. “For crying out loud, what are those barbaric stripes doing now?” I flattened myself against the wall as they passed me, their attention completely focused away from me.

I gave a sigh of relief before quickly trotting away. Making sure I was far enough away, I found an empty room and pulled up my pipbuck. The others had already programed what I needed to do; grab the M.o.M. bug, install it to the air traffic control tower, turn it on, and once the message is received, pull it out, and find the others again. The location of the store room the stuff was in was helpfully displayed on my map. I had already been there once, so the pipbuck could easily guide me back there without a problem.

“Hay, stop that.” The voice of a mare called out, but in was sounded in a more playful tone.

The door opened, and a unicorn mare in armor trotted in, followed by a stallion in armor. The stallion nipped at her neck, and spoke softly. “If I stopped, then how are we supposed to have any fun?”

The mare glared at the stallion. “Who says I’m having fun!”

The stallion rolled his eyes. “Then why is your tail up?”

“It’s, it’s not like I wan… want to,” She gave a shiver as she huffed. “it’s just moving on it’s own, that’s all. Don’t make me kick you.”

“Aww, you're blushing.” The stallion pointed out. “Now I can’t resist, not when you have a face like that.”

“Ff… fine!” the mare blurted, “Just be quick about it! Our brake will be over soon.”

Now whatever those two were going to do, and as curious I was, I had other things to do first. I’ll just have to ask one of the ponies later about it, maybe the pink one if I see her. I carefully opened the door, and slipped out, and as I closed the door the mare gave out a loud. “AHhh” before yelling. “Wrong hole jerk!” that confused me, another thing I’ll have to inquire about when I return to the others.

I made my way down the hall as quickly and discreetly as I could. After passing a few more guards, who gave me nothing more than momentary confused glances, I found myself in a more populated area. There were more maid ponies here, and maid stallions, who didn’t have dresses on, but straight suits… Butlers, I think they were called.

Flags and torches decorated the stone walls, and I could hear a flute playing some distance away. I couldn’t help but be reminded of the pictures in the Shakespony books, like in Roamer and Jove, or even Hamlet. I had to shake the thought from my mind, but it might not be so bad to come back to this castle in the sky and put on a whole show from one of the stories if they let me.

The contraband room was not as empty as I thought it would be. A large armored robot sat at a table, looking down at some of the stuff here with its hoof looked locked in a thinking position under it’s chin. The table had a few of the guns that Vibraphone owns, as well as her knife. The talismans she’d had were also all neatly lined up and displayed, as well as… The M.o.M. bug!

Objective one done!

I’d hoof bump the robot if it was not such a bad idea. The robot must be here to protect the stuff here, so it be a bad idea to mess with it. Mother always warned me about that, and to stay away from Molly Manticore, as the robots there were extra dangerous.

“Right,” I said to myself, “Just need to be quick.”

I positioned myself to the side of the robot, just out of sight. Though dangerous, they were also stupid, more so than ponies. As long as I don’t stay in its line of sight for too long, they won’t even know I’m here. It takes a few seconds to see what’s in front of them, so snatching the little box will be simple. Still, why ponies never fixed that problem was beyond me, dumb ponies making dumber robots.

On three… one… two… three!

I quickly reached out and placed my hoof on top of the box.

* Slam! *

I winced in pain as the robot’s hoof pressed down on my own. I looked at the robot, seeing it looking right at me. “Uhh, hi?”

“Strange.” The robot spoke, which was never a good sign, as they always make too much noise. “Now that I look at you, I can see you clearly. What tech are you using to hide your presence from my E.F.S. and obstruct my visors?”

Oh, this robot was too talkative. “I um, don’t know what you’re talking about! I’m just a pony that likes cubes, nothing strange here at all!” Shit, forgot to enunciate. “Listen, I’m just a normal pony, I don’t knoweth anything about any tech, or suspect activities. I just like cubes, that’s all.” I smiled at the robot, hoping that it was enough to convince it, they are stupid after all.

I winced again in pain as the robot pushed down on my hoof harder, and I could feel my hoof bend, like it was going to split.

“Listen, fool.” The robot spoke with a deep intimidating tone. “Tell me now, or I will crush that hoof of yours. How did you get in here without triggering my E.F.S. and how did you slip passed the guards and staff?”

The pain, it really felt like she was going to crush it. “I... I don’t know. Ponies and robots are bad at paying attention, that’s all. They all just don’t quite see me if I don’t draw attention to myself. It’s not my fault!”

“What is this nonsense?” The robot pushed down harder. “Be that way then.”

* Crack *

Pain shot up my hoof as it split open, but it was also now free, so I pulled it back before the robot could attack it again. The caprice of my right forehoof had split, blue blood slowly seeping from it. But the pain was now duller without the metal hoof pressing down on it, and now I could wiggle each side independently of each other. It reminded me of when I was small, before my legs had fused together. Walking was weird back then.

The robot stared at me, it’s head slowly turning to one side. “What… are you?”

It then hit me. A realization, not the robot that is. My disguise had failed, meaning that it was going to get harder to complete this mission. Aside from that, now I was going to be limping and bleeding all over the castle.

“What am I? I should be asking you that, mister robot. So rude.” Its hoof was still on the cube, so I just had to get the robot to let it go, and run out of here before it kills me. Now how do I do that?

“You have a mouth on you.” The robot leaned in, not letting it’s hoof off the bug. “You’re not a changeling, or a cyber pony. Those fins mean... possibly aquatic in nature?“

I huffed, the stupid robot was not letting up. “fine then, I’m, what ponies call, a sand-lurker, though, of the sparkle-cola verity. We’re not like those other dumb ones. Were the smart ones.”

The robot shifted, letting its hoof off the bug. “One of those horrendous things, that’s impo…”

I lunged for the cube, but the other metal hoof swung at me, knocking me to the floor. Even so, success was mine as I held the cube in my jaw claws above my head.

“By Celestia!” The Robot stomped a few steps towards me. “Fine, then you’re not lying, monster. But this just means that I’ll have to send you to for an autopsy after I kill you. Or at least, have them open up what’s left of you to see how you work.” The robot charged, and I dashed out of the way, the pain in my right forehoof was shooting up my leg each time it hit the floor.

The door creaked open, and in walked the pink and blue pony, Harp. “Stratus, what’s going?”

The robot turned its head to Harp, “Stay back princess, this monster dangerous.”

I waved at Harp, to get her attention. “Can you get this robot to shut down for me?”

Harp hit her face with her hoof. “Mayall, what are you doing here. And where have you been?”

“Looking around, this nothing like at home.” I answered, half honestly.

“What,” the robot spoke, hesitating on its advance as it sounded confused. “What is the meaning of this?”

“She’s a friend, and only somewhat dangerous.” With a sigh, Harp trotted over the robot. “Actually I think she may be more of a danger to herself.” Her gaze then turned towards me. “And you, do you know how much danger you're putting yourself in by wandering off like that?”

“I uhh… sorry.” great, now pink pony was chastising me when I was only doing what Vibraphone asked me to. “But I certainly can take care of myself.”

“Clearly.” Harp said in a tone that felt like she was mocking me. “Stratus, you can just escort her to where the others are, so please, don't hurt her anymore.”

Strangely, the robot huffed. “Fine, I’ll have some of my ponies escort it to the room.”

Harps head lowered “Oh, okay then.”

The robot looked down at Harp. “Lady Harp. I know you want to say goodbye to your acquaintance, but we can't delay for too long, and I don't trust them.” The robot then looked over to me. “And now I have more of a reason to distrust them.”

I felt a bit on the spot, the robot's gaze feeling a tad intense. “I not done nothing, what happened to the yellow pony was all mother. And that one station, that was all my sister's fault!”

“Mayall,” Harp sighed, “I rather you not bring up such things.” She picked up a healing potion from a nearby bench, and trotted over to me, giving me a hug. Though her hooves more hovered over me as she let me drink the potion. “Just make sure the others are safe, and good luck.” She place something into one of my fin legs, and I folded the fins to around it, making sure whatever it was stayed in place.

Harp backed off and return to the big pony robot, and two guards came in. “We’re here ma’am, what do you… by Celestia!” Both guards mouth held a gape.

The robot stomped its hoof, getting the two guards attention. “Take this thing to the room where we are holding the other intruders. And don’t take your eyes off of it, it seems to have some strange magic about it.”

The two armored guard ponies saluted as I walked over and went with them. Now out in the open, all the ponies eyed me. It, didn't feel right, so many staring at me. Even back at the nest, the others avoided staring too much, it was seen as rude. And these ponies were definitely rude. It also didn’t help that every step hurt, but with that potion, my split hoof at least had stopped bleeding.

“First fucking stripes, now some sort of abomination.” One of the guards spoke up. “Can you believe the day we’ve had?”

“I know.” The second added. “Not to mention, I heard that there was a republic spy that got found out today.”

“Really, what happened to the spy? The first guard asked.

“Out the window last I’d heard.” The second guard answered promptly.

“Good riddance.” The first guard laughed. “Those degenerates deserve no less, them and those bit grabbing ponies in Orthrus.”

“Well, once the crown passes, thing are going to change.” The second guard laughed as well. “The peace conference was huge mistake, and the queen, bless her soul, gave away too much of what is rightfully ours.”

The tip of a javelin launcher poked my side. “Keep moving monster.” The second guard aggressively order me.

The first guard eyed me, a look of disgust across his face. So, I waved one of my jaw claws at him, snapping it once. The guard hit me in the back of my head with his javelin launcher.

“Freak.” He snorted before prodding me to move again.

I was starting to feel like I was around my sister’s followers, though luckily, without sis being around. Actually, it was becoming uncanny now that I think about it; escorted by warriors, the workers severing their gaze, only to be locked away until the one in charge has a use for me. Though I did have to admit that the decorations were a lot nicer here. Something sis would see burnt to the ground no doubt.

We had to stop for a moment, as some maids were pushing a cart ahead of us. I used this as an opportunity to check my pipbuck inventory screen, and with little on me, I didn't need to scroll to see everything. Among the list, was the M.o.M. bug, of which I knew was where Harp had placed it in my leg fin, making me grip a little tighter to it. One of the guards looked back at me, his eyes glaring suspiciously. Thinking fast, I turned on the radio.

The voice of the lively mare calling herself Cerberus boomed from my pipbuck “and that's why, even if your cat has cybernetics, it does not mean it's no longer carnivorous. They still can't live off a plant based diet. In other news, hostilities between the Republic and Orthrus have only continued to worsen. With the Republic blaming Orthrus to have sent an assassin whom had killed their leader. Orthrus has denied the accusations, and…” The radio turned off as one of the guards turned the knob a bit forcefully.

“Stupid monster.” The first guard chaste me.

The second guard chuckled, “You know, I wonder how many ponies would care if something were to happen to this monster?”

“You know, you might be right.” The first guard agreed. “There’s been a problem of ponies falling out windows lately.”

The two guards looked at me, a less than friendly smile on their face. I didn't need it spelled out to me that things had gone from bad to worse.

“Ahh, that would be a bad idea pony.” I warned them. “What would that robot think, or the princess?”

The two guards looked at each other, and laughed. The first guard got closer, face to face with me. “How cute, captain Stratus may command the royal guard, but not us in the Canterlot guard. And once she, we will hold all the power again. As for the princess, no pony, and I mean, nopony cares what that stripe thinks.”

“I care.” was my retort.

“How sweet, so negative one pony cares.” The first guard chuckled softly. “Seriously, if this monster is the only thing with the princess’s ear, then it probably would be best if it went missing.”

I could feel myself heat up. These stupid ponies dared to insult my friend! Not only that, but they admitted they planned to kill me, only proving how stupidly horrible ponies are. If this was how it was to be, then I didn’t have any choice but to defend myself preemptively.

“FUCK YOU!” I bellowed at the first guard, screeching so hard into the guard’s ear that I thought I’d tear my vocal cords.

The first guard cried out in pain as he fell back. The second guard ran to his aid with a look of shock on his face. I knew what was to come next, and so I rushed the second guard. As he raised his javelin launcher, I slammed into him, knocking the guard to the ground and sending his gun clattering to the ground.

Quickly, I picked up the javelin launcher in my hoof. I entered S.A.T.S., letting the world slow as the spell booted up. Selecting the guard, I could see his face go from shock, to horror before I threw the gun at him. It sailed through the at, solidly connecting with his head. The guard fell back and stopped moving.

I turn my attention to the first guard, only to see him convulsing. Red blood came out of his nose, ears, and eyes. He shook for a few more seconds before falling unconscious. He should be fine… probably. He’s just in shock and has burst blood vessels in his head, nothing serious really. A sonic blast to the face tend to do that. Though this pony seem to take it harder than I did when sis practiced on me, and I did scream quick loud at him...

With no other ponies in sight, I was free for now, but for only so long. Somepony would have definitely heard my sonic attack and would arrive momentarily. Quickly, I dragged the two guards into a nearby room and blocked the door behind me. I quickly stripped them, and threw them on top of each other. Don't know why, but I found it funny.

Checking my pipbuck talisman tool, the illusion spell had recharged, allowing me to disguise myself as a pony again. This time I was not going to mess with any robots. Activating the spell, I also put on one of the guard’s armor. Even though it was a little big on me, I figured that at the very least it should help me stay hidden. Though, I didn't like how the armor rubbed on my chin.

Checking the map functions on my pipbuck, and with the bug in my possession, I surmised that I can now finish this quest.

Now looking like a pony guard, it was definitely easier to get around the other staff here. Even when ponies looked right at me, they diverted their gaze. Though, I could tell that the stripey mirage ponies did this more than the others, and even started working harder when I came closer.

Getting outside proved a little tricky, with the doors more guarded than the rest of this tower. I was going to need ask them to open the door for me, but that came with a risk. If they looked at me suspiciously or questioned me at all, I could end up in trouble again.

“Hello fellow guards, may I request permission to pass?” I tried to keep my request calm, quick, and polite. Something my sis would never think to do with a pony.

One of them raised an eyebrow, two ignored me, and the last one laughed. The laughing guard quieted down and looked me in the eye. “And there goes a day without some pony getting into the whisky stock.” He then sniffed me. “At least you don't smell of booze, though I suggest that once you’re off shift, you take a shower nonetheless.”

“Also straightened up your uniform, you look dreadful.” another guard barked.

Remembering when the other guards had done when the robot told them what to do, I saluted. “Right.”

The pony in front of me sighed. “Here, let me.” He lazily moved my armor a little with his magic, and pushed me along my way. I picked up my trot before I drew more attention to myself. “So, when did we get new recruits?”

When I had first arrived, I was too concerned with following the guard and Vibraphone to properly look around, but this place was gorgeous. Stone floor, white walls, flowering plants everywhere, and the buildings. I've not seen anything like these buildings before. Well, mostly because most of all the abandon pony buildings were caved in or overgrown now, but the building here were solid brick. They were painted a brilliant white, but stranger yet, the second floors to most of them actually stretched out over the road. Unlike the first floors, the second was made from wooden beams, and what looked like white concrete. Their roofs were made of expertly stitched together thatch, and along with everything else, it made this place really look like it was from one of the old pony story books.

The control tower was not far, but this place had so many twists and turns that it was hard to get around. Eventually I just gave up trying to find a clear way around that I cut through one of the houseses. Though, I had avoided unwanted attention, the armor I had on was less than quiet, so when I enter the home, I startled a mirage pony mare.

“Oh! Excuse me sir!” the mare spoke softly as she shot her gaze to the ground. “The master and mistress are currently out.” She looked a lot like the maids from the big tower, but her uniform was not as funny. “May I take a note for when they return?” she seemed worried, probably because I just stomped into her home.

“No, no. That won't be necessary.” I said as calmly as possible. “I'm just passing thru, just go back to what you were doing.”

“Yes sir,” She had a confused look on her face, but gave me a nodd. “but please knock firstly, the Madam does not like unannounced guests.” she then turned around and began dusting.

Exiting the house, I entered what looked to be a back alley. One which was now a straight path toward the control tower as it turned out. Trotting down the alley, I got a glimpse inside some of the other homes. Mostly they were occupied by mirage ponies, all in similar uniforms and all working.

Leaving the alley, I could now properly see the control tower, it sticking out like a big ugly gray concrete tower inside what was otherwise a beautiful city. To my side, I could see a few mirage ponies hovering over some spark batteries. From what I was told, they must be recharging the batteries to sell them later. There were a few other mirage ponies carrying baskets with similar batteries, going to, or leaving from the group charging the batteries.

Passing the busy ponies, I opened the door to the control tower. Climbing the stairs, I could hear music playing, and further I went up, the louder it got. There was one more door to go through, but when I tried to open it, it didn't budge. Damn locked doors.

*Bang bang bang.*

Slamming my hoof down on the door, I waited a few seconds, but before I knocked on the door again, the music dimmed. With a loud whine from it’s hinges, the door opened up, and disheveled looking guard pony stared back at me. She had only her guard shirt on, and four socks, along with a bow in her mane.

“Uh, Hi there, is it time to change out already?” The pegasus mare said, sounding a bit too relaxed.

I didn’t quite understand what she was talking about, so I just nodded.

“Oh good.” she chirped, waving me in. The room had a grimy smoky smell to it, and canisters were littering the floor. “s...sorry, if I had known you were so early, I'd have cleaned up sooner.” she picked up a few canisters, shaking each one until she found one that sounded like it had something inside. Placing it on some weird jar with a glass pipe attached to it, she put her mouth on the pipe, and pressed down on the canister. The strange mare took a deep breath, taking in whatever was inside the pipe, and slowly exhaled. “ahh, that feels good.”

“What's that?” I looked at the odd contraption, not understanding it at all.

“My bong,” The mare chuckled. “Or are you asking about Chill? Are you new here or something?”

Carp, I was on the spot again. “New? Yes,” But playing along so far seemed to be working “Yup, that's what I am. New...”

“I knew it, ya got that new gal look to you.” She chuckled again “I bet you’re all worried about what your mom would think if you slacked off?”

“Well, more worried about my sister finding me” I answered, a little more truthfully than anything.

“Sounds like a bitch.” Waving her hoof dismissively, the mare raspberried at me. “Here, I'll show you what to do, and you can take a hit with me. Name’s High Kite, by the way.” I just nodded my head in agreement. “Good, now first, get out of that stuffy armor, nopony gives a shit what goes on up here, so you might as well get comfortable.”

It was nice getting out of the armor, I hadn't had it on long, but it just didn't fit well on me. Though, High Kite was a bit too touchy when helping get it off, making me a bit worried about getting found out. But luck was on my side, as once the armor was off she got right to telling me how all the buttons work and not focusing on me at all.

“Righto, first things first, any button that's not lit up, no longer works.” High Kite, pointed to one console where most of it’s buttons were dark. “Supposedly, some egghead tried to get it to work fully, but whomever built this tower were a bunch of ass hats, and built it to be non compatible with most standard parts. Mainly anything that came out of stable 50, some military stuff works with it, but most of that got slagged in the great war.”

“And the buttons that do work?” I asked politely. If I was lucky, she might be able to tell me just where I was supposed to put the bug for Miss Vibraphone..

“Don’t touch em.” She said with a chuckle. “All you do here is wait for a message to come in, and pass it on to the Duke. Other then that, we don’t have to do nothing.”

I thought for a moment, and I had a brilliant idea. “Oh, just remembered, I was told by the ‘eggheads’ to install this into the system here.” I showed her the M.o.M. Bug and hoped it would be something these ‘eggheads’ she spoke of would likely send up here anyway. “It’s supposed to be some sort of amplifier, help with getting a signal better. Where do I install it?”

“Fuck if I know…” High rubbed her head, looking confused for a moment before looking over at the consoles again. “Wait,” She trotted over to the other side of the control tower, brushing up against me. “I do remember something. The eggheads do come up here now and then to check a bundle of wires they put in here. Very important, do not touch any of this stuff.” She opened a panel, and three canisters fell out. “Oh, right. I keep my extra stash of chill there, so don’t touch that either.”

I took a look at what was inside the panel she’d opened up. There was a tangled mess of wires which connected into boxes or trailed further on inside the console. I was going to ask High if she knew where to put it, but the stupid pony would not know anymore.

If my nest friends were here, they’d have known exactly what to do. I made sure they knew all about this stuff, and just thinking about them made me miss home a bit. But I had a job to do now, and I probably should have read those textbooks too, now that I think about it.

I tried to compare my pink M.o.M. box to the other gray and black boxes, but nothing seemed to match. Feeling frustrated, I fell back onto the tried and true method that even my nest friends used when they couldn’t figure something out. Just plug whatever you have into wherever it will fit until the thing works how it’s supposed to.

From the time I left the nest I’ve have nothing but bad luck, so today had to be the day I got it turn things around. The ponies were counting on me, that and I’d probably get killed if caught, why were ponies so violent?

So, I found out that a lot of power runs through this tower when I almost burned a hole in my hoof. Worse yet, it shorted out my disguise, but strangely High Kite didn’t seem to mind, or even notice for that matter. She just huffed down on her chill some more, and slapped me on the flank, hurting her hoof. Such a weird pony…

My next attempt scrambled the music, produced a loud, ear piercing sound along with a burst of static, and my third try just turned everything off. This was a lot harder than I’d thought it would be.

“Blast it all, this naiv of metal confounds me.” I blurted, feeling very irritated now. Just then, something poked at my flank. Turning around, High Kite was pointing at me with her bong.

“You’re trying to hard, girl. Ya just need to chill out, you will think better.” I cocked an eye at her, and she laughed. “Come on, trust me. Just take a hit and I promise it’ll help take the edge off.” I wasn’t getting anywhere, and maybe pony could help. Remembering how she had done it before, I put my mouth to it, but then she pulled it away. Giggling. “If you're going to suck on my pipe, you're going to have to do it the right way.” She put the bong between her back legs, and began to slowly stroke the glass tube. “Don’t be shy.”

This, just made me feel a bit wrong, but I wasn’t going to get any closer to solving this stupid pony puzzle if I didn’t go through with it. Getting closer, I wrapped my mouth around the glass tube, and High Kite pressed down on the canister. Taking a deep breath, all I got was some stale odd tasting air, that made my mandibles feel a bit numb.

“So what does this do, pony?” I asked as I reached my hoof up and wiped at my muzzle.

“Just wait for it...” she said to me slowly.

“For wha…” everything fell to my left, and Kite started to melt and bubble. “What… what is this?” My voice sounded weird, and my hoof, there were like five little legs sticking out of them, one fat one, and four skinny ones. I closed all but the middle one, and pointed it at the stupid bundle of cables, it felt like the right thing to do.

“More, more!” High said, her voice now high pitched.

Looking at her bong, I felt like this strange air in it might actually be helping. And you know what? Fuck it, more can't hurt. As I took it into my numb legs, and breathed more of it in, it made everything more melty and a bit spinny.

Remembering the bug, I had a thought. What if I plugged it into my pipbuck, and then my pipbuck into the console? That... that was brilliant. I was immune to electricity and fire an’ all, and the polka dotted five eyed, two mouthed, bird… thing.

“High Kite, hold my tail!” I slurred as I glared angrilly at the stupid pony console. “I’m going in.”

The sound of my pipleg’s radio jolted me to attention. The loud static that filled the room wasn’t just coming from mine, but also from Merits pipbuck as well. The stallion tried to get up, but unfortunately for him, I was still on top of him. The two maids had luckily rolled off the bed, and were now cuddling down on the stone floor.

“Hey Vibe, what's wrong with our pipbucks?” Merit asked as he shook it around.

Looking closely at mine, I switching it over to the radio screen, it had multiple radio channels open, and not just the few we had on the island, but others to. Lots and lots and lots of others.

“I think Mayall did it.” I spoke up as I couldn’t help but feel a bit relieved that the lurker came through on this. “It looks like she got the bug installed.”

“Great, now we can get out of here.” Merit pushed himself up. His sudden movement made me lose my balance, and I fell onto his back with a moan. “Shit, that was a mistake.” He groaned out from under me. “Could you, you know, get out of my ass?”

I pulled back a little, and Merit gave out a quiet moan, it made my cheeks flush. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, the mission does come f-FUCK!” he belted out. “Out not in!” He looked back at me, and his annoyed expression deflated.

“Sorry, just give me a minute or two.” I had to wipe some of the drool from my mouth. “It’s not like we plan on charging out right away.”

He looked at me for a moment and sighed. “Well it is your turn, just be a bit more gentle.”

“No promises.” I told him as I put my hooves on his hips.

*Crackle* *Buzz* *Crackle*

“This is Captain Light Turbulence of the the New Cloudsdale Enclave. Come in, can anyone here me? I’m reporting in from from the Marewaii Islands. I repeat, this is Captain Light Turbulence of the the New Cloudsdale Enclave, I’m reporting in from from the Marewaii Islands. Can anyone hear me?”

*Buzz* *Werr* *Crack*

“This is sea bandit, get off our coms or I’ll find you myself and kill you”

*Crackle*

“I can hear ya, now fuck off.”

*Werr* *Pop*

“This is Bold harbor, we can hear you, and New Cloudsdale, that city is still out there? How are you doing this to our coms?”

*Pop* *pop* *Buzz*

“Unauthorized access to communications system... targeting source… arming missiles… launch in… 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Error, malfunction detected. Cause: missile silos empty. Sending malfunction report… error, unable to contact Ministry.”

*Crackle*

"Hello, Hello, miss enclave. Your signal is coming in too strong and scrambling my own. Which now that you mention it, is amazing due to you nearly being on the other side of the world. But where are my manners? I'm DJ po..." *Crackle* *Pop* "This is Pirate radio, bringing you the newest in rust music, suited for those not interested in NCR crap, or in DJ Pon3's control freaks spasms. Speaking of which, just how does he see so much? It's real creepy I tell you, him spying on everypony all the time." Buzz* "That's it! Whoever you are, I'm going to find you and beat some respect into you!" *Werrr* "Come get me you old fart!"

*Pop* *Crackle*

“Captain Light, this is New Cloudsdale Enclave Air Command, we can hear you. The signal is still stabilizing, but we’re working on patching it up. We’re reading you loud and clear, and it’s good to hear from you again, captain. Before you give us an operational report, we need to know how you're speaking to us. Whatever you’re using to contact us is disrupting all other local communications. Over.”

*Buzz*

“Oh thank Celestia. Roger, Air Command, this is Captain Light Turbulence. I can’t report on what’s sustaining this connection, and I don’t know how much coms time we’ll have, so I’ll make this quick. Made it to the Island, air’s toxic and there’s no ponies living on the surface. We were shot down over the Island by a hostile force in possession of their own Vertibuck. Lost South Breeze, and Warm Gale. The rest of the team fled underground where we made contact with the locals, who took us to safety. What’s left of the island's wartime inhabitants here have been preserved in a vast inter-island metro system. From what we’ve found, it’s completely self sustaining, including the technology, and the cultivation of food. I repeat, they have food and technology that could keep New Cloudsdale afloat and fed for years. The group we made contact with is called Orthrus, the former Stable-Tec researchers at an R&D facility here. The leaders of Orthrus are willing to make contact to negotiate terms of trade, and if I may say, they need us as much as we need them. There are also two hostile Factions here, one is outfit with Vertibuck and old navy ships, and the other is preparing to go to war with Orthrus. If you can get close to the islands and make radio contact, Orthrus operatives will be waiting to respond. Be warned, Hostal Vertibuck’s are in the air, so take the necessary precautions on your approach. Over”

*Crackle*

“Roger, Report received Captain, what’s the status on Merit *Buzz* and *Crackle* Winds? Over.”

“Roger, *Crakle pop* Is on a mission, and Wild *Werr* is undergoing medical *Buzz*

*Werr* *pop* *crackle* “Signal, connection unstable.” *Pop* *Crackle* “Over.”

“Air co…” *Werr* “be waiting for y…” *Fizz*

Footnote:

Companion signal lost (Mayall Galaxy)

Perk Obtained - Black Widow - In combat, you do +10% damage against male opponents. Outside of combat, you'll sometimes have access to unique dialogue options when dealing with the opposite sex.