It had all started three months ago, back on a planet called Earth. Heinrich der Mediziner was, at the time, simply Henry Ackermann. A medical student at St. James School of Medicine, the twenty eight year old man was known for two things: His knowledge of human anatomy and his love of Team Fortress 2. Of course, that convention he’d gone to didn’t quite go as planned, and the fire really didn’t he- “Heinrich! Are you reminiscing again!? Get up you lazy bum we have demons to kill!”

Heinrich awoke with a start, his cigarette burning itself out against the floor as he scrambled to ready his equipment for battle. “Ja ja, frau Shimmer! Don’t get your panties in a tvwist!”

Sunset glared at the medic from outside his clinic-tent, her gaze telling him to simply hurry up or be kicked where the sun never shined. Heinrich continued his scramble, throwing on his standard labcoat and gloves and strapping on his weapons. Finally, after a tense thirty seconds, he stood next to Sunset, looking around. “... I don’t hear any sirens, Sunset. Vhy are you telling me to kill demons vhen zhere are no sirens?”

Sunset facehoofed and pointed out at the gate, where a horde of demons could be seen racing directly at the camp. “See those demons? Small horde, no sirens. No need for evacuation yet. Now let’s go. I need to set something on fire.” With that, the bacon-haired unicorn ran off, horn already sparking with the fire she was so renowned for.

“Jawohl, mein fuhrer…” Heinrich rolled his eyes and chuckled, standing at attention for a moment and then racing off after Sunset, syringe gun already blazing out a stream of expertly aimed needles, impacting each demon in sight in their various soft and fleshy bits to distract them. “Ahahahaha! Flee you ugly bastards! Flee!” Heinrich took the time to enjoy this little rout, casually beheading demons with his bonesaw while pinning their drugged and insensate forms to the ground with his boots. The soldiers around him surged forward, stabbing at the demons with spears and swords as the archers in the back laid down suppressing fire. Just as soon as Luna’s soldiers had taken down another enemy and began advancing on the remaining four Beta demons, an eerie mist filled the open field outside the forward base camp.

And within the mist came an ominous red glow and the sound of… singing?

“Aaa-aaa-aaaa-aa-aaaaahh~”

Three forms came floating from the mist, a bizarre mix of pony and fish, each one singing in the most hypnotic manner as the mist around the army swirled and gained a green tint.

“Oh scheiße.”

Heinrich was well versed in these three new combatants, having read Princess Twilight’s dossier of potential enemies once he had officially been inducted into the military.

The Sirens, spreaders of dissent and betrayal. Heinrich immediately cursed his lack of earplugs as he noticed the rest of the soldiers begin to turn on each other. As he looked around, he felt his own rage grow, but he suppressed it as much as he could, not wanting to snap and kill everyone on the field. A sudden blur of gold and red slammed into the side of one of the singing sirens, knocking the purple one from the air in a burst of fire and a melodic screech of agony.

Sunset Shimmer immediately pinned the dazed form of Aria Blaze’s natural body to the ground and began wailing on the unfortunate siren with fire coated hooves, punctuating each strike with a shouted word. “I! ALREADY! BEAT! YOU! ONCE! ON! EARTH! WITHOUT! MAGIC! AND! I! CAN! KICK! YOUR! FLANK! AGAIN! WITH! MAGIC!”

The remaining two sirens broke off their song, mist dispelling as the two fish-ponies rushed at Sunset. Heinrich stepped in dramatically, labcoat flaring behind him and bonesaw gleaming with the steaming blue blood of the demons he had killed. With a casual flick of the wrist, he sliced open the throat of a wolf-like demon as it pounced at him, catching its muzzle in his thick, red glove and slamming the soon-to-be corpse into the ground even as he threw his saw into the air to fire his syringe gun into the wolf-demon’s head until it finally stopped thrashing and laid still. “Oops. Zhat vas not medicine,” Heinrich taunted as he caught his airborne saw, leveling a malevolent smirk at the suddenly nervous pair of Sonata Dusk and Adagio Dazzle.

Heinrich cracked his knuckles and hefted his bonesaw, now dripping with even more blue blood. He slowly advanced upon the two sirens as they slowly backed away. Sonata eeped in surprise when both sirens found themselves backed against a tree. Heinrich drew his arm back in preparation, when Sonata suddenly lunged at Adagio, kicked her into a horde of soldiers, and laid herself at Heinrich’s feet, screaming, “PLEASE DON’T KILL ME I SURRENDER!”

“...Eh?” Heinrich stared at Sonata’s quivering form as Sunset, now clad in the dribblings of Aria’s blood and charred flesh, trotted up and joined the staring.

“.... So she surrendered?” Sunset asked, poking the siren who only responded with a tiny shriek of fear.

“It vould appear so, frau Sunset.” Heinrich looked down and finally let his better side win out, bending over to scoop Sonata into his arms and carry the blue fish-pony over to the med-bay.

“Smart move,” Sunset deadpanned, still sore over how the trio of sirens had driven Canterlot High to chaos two years ago.

“Indeed it vas, mein golden freund. If she hadn’t, I vould have killed her.” Heinrich chuckled and patted the now much more pony-like form of Sonata on the head, the sedated siren mewling cutely in her sleep about tacos and other such inanities.

“Same.” Sunset looked down upon Sonata’s curled up form and immediately winced at just how strangely adorable the blue member of the sirens was. It was almost as if Sonata were a small font of innocence in a cruel world, but Sunset knew better. She had seen Sonata rip faces off of screaming soldiers, turn even her own army against itself, leaving nothing behind but a disgusting mix of red and blue gore.

“I hope you realize that we’re going to have to tell Princess Luna about this.” Sunset mentioned, already moving off to the small bedroll she had set up in Heinrich’s tent.

“.... SCHEIßE!”

Sonata slept on, dead to the world.

Author's Notes:

Sorry this took so long. Life and writer's block happened.