Wednesday
0758

... I came to as I fell off my bed.

Shit!

That nightmare... I glanced at my Pipbuck. Huh. The alarm didn't go off? It is way too early for me. Or is it? I flailed my way over onto my side. Blood dripped down my sinuses and out of my nose.

...

I crawled to my hooves.

...and that's when my alarm decided to go off. Why!? I glared at my Pipbuck until it shut off, and then I realized....

"I can shut it off with my magic."

So I did.

So this must be what it's like to forget your magic.

...

Wait. Did last night actually happen? Or was that just a messed up dream? I crawled over to the door and poked my head out of my room, to see the familiar sight of Dashie comfortably sprawled out on the couch and... a shelf knocked over.

...

Dusty bottles, spread across the floor. Knocked over shelf. Shit. Last night really happened. Fuck me sideways.

I wiped some of the blood dripping out of my nose on my fetlock and slipped out of my room for the door to the hallway.

Halfway there, I kicked something, and it went clattering across the floor loudly.

Dashie, sprawled out on the couch, a mere few hooves’ length from me, snorted and shifted.

...and then he rolled over and went back to sleep.

I glanced at see what I'd tripped over. An empty bottle of cider. I levitated it, considering throwing it into the wall, just to see it shatter. No... I looked at Dashie, who was still passed out on my couch. He's asleep. Let's not wake him. I carefully set the bottle out of the way and quietly walked out the door.

Wincing at the sound the door made closing behind me, I glanced down at myself. No clothes? Oops.

I don't need clothes. Where to? My bladder reminded me it needed to be emptied. I do need to pee, though.

Oh, I'm going to. It's just a matter of where, and I don't think Maintenance would like me very much.

...

Hey... I could run. Have Pipbuck Maintenance remove my Pipbuck, hide in the lower levels. They'd never find me!

I ignored the part of my mind that suggested this was a stupid plan and I should feel bad for even considering it.

Next stop? Toilet, and then Pipbuck Maintenance.

I trotted into the toilets, wincing. What did I do, sleep in my armor last night? I remembered my... dream... and falling out of bed. Right. I trotted over to the sink. The sound of my hoofsteps echoed offensively in the enclosed room. Ugh.

This damn hangover is not helping matters. I glanced up to the mirror and a tired-looking, red-eyed unicorn stared back at me, her blue mane in dire need of a good brushing. As I watched, a bead of blood dripped out of her nose and landed in the sink with a soft splat.

I am so thirsty.

I turned the faucet on and water came out. Delicious, cold water, flowing into the sink. Down the drain to Celestia knows where.

My blood went with it. Such pretty red shapes....

At some point my mind put together that water was drinkable. I leaned over, slurping from the faucet.

Fuck! Water up my nose! I whimpered as my nose started bleeding all over again.

Somepony cleared their throat. "Hi."

...

Familiar, high pitched voice. "Would you like some privacy?" I looked over.

Security Officer Pumpkin Blitz was standing just inside the door, watching me with clear amusement in her deep purple eyes. ... "I can go pee elsewhere, if you'd prefer." How do I get out of this with my dignity intact? "Or I could stay, if you'd prefer that, too. I mean, voyeurism isn't my kink, but if you're into that kinda stuff, who am I to talk?"

Dignity? What dignity? I sat up, away from the sink. "No, no, I'm fine." I didn't need that dignity anyways.

"One taste of sex and you've devolved to making out with sink faucets? I don't know if that counts as dedication or desperation...." Laugh it up, featherhead.

Another bead of blood dripped out of my nose. "How did you sleep?"

Pumpkin smirked at me. "About as well as you did, from the looks of it. Well, maybe a little better." She groaned and stretched, wings and legs. "I just have bruises and hickeys."

"Nightmare?" I looked at her closely. Bruises and hickeys, indeed, and she looked tired. Her bluish green mane was a mess of disorganized spikes. That may have been an intentional style choice, though. Some of her feathers stuck out at odd angles, and as I looked at her, she shifted, pulling her wings in tight against her flanks.

She took a moment to respond as she trotted into one of the stalls. "I don't regret anything I did over the past week, but I know I'm not going to be sleeping soundly for a while."

I nodded, shifting to lean against the sink, holding a hoof to my muzzle to staunch the bleeding. "I think I understand."

"I don't think you do, but thank you anyways." She fell silent for a few moments. "He smiled, you know." I raised an eyebrow. "Before I shot him." She paused for a moment. "I think he was close to the mare you were talking with."

Well, this got awkward fast. "Ah." I glanced over into the mirror, pulling my mane back out of my face, kind of like I had last night.

"Bastard got what he deserved." She sighed contently as she flushed the toilet. "You forfeit some rights when you attack ponies like that." She exited the stall and went to wash her hooves. "Thanks for listening, ma'am. It feels better to talk to someone who knows."

I smiled to her. "Of course."

"Try not to get any lipstick on the faucet, Captain." Pumpkin waved a wing at me with a evil smirk as the door opened. Somepony else entered the toilets, and then Pumpkin was gone as the door hissed shut behind her.

Another bead of blood dripped out of my nose, landing on the floor with a soft splat.

"But... I don't wear lipstick!" I ignored the confused look from the new pony and exited the toilets after her.

"What can I do for you, um..." The assistant Pipbuck technician glanced down to his Pipbuck, so subtly it was incredibly obvious to anypony paying attention. Very smooth. "Captain Firefly?" At least he recognized me by name. Kinda cute unicorn colt, but a bit young for me. Sleek blue coat, sharp orange eyes.

"That's me." I smiled to him. "Is Broken Screen here?"

He shook his head. "She just went off shift about ten minutes ago. I can help you, if you need something with your Pipbuck...?"

"Yes. Could you replace the padding?" I held out my foreleg. "It's starting to chafe." I stuck my lower lip out at him, just slightly.

"Of course, of course!" He levitated out some tools and quickly removed my Pipbuck, levitating it away. "I'll have it done in about three hours." He glanced at me, a bit nervous as he ran a hoof through his pale blue and purple mane. "If that's not a problem?"

"Please, take your time. I haven't taken it in for maintenance for some time." I smiled. "I'll be back at..." I glanced down to my Pipbuck to get the time, only to remember he'd removed it. "... about three hours, I guess."

He smiled. "It'll be better than when you got it when I'm finished." I'd hope so. Seeing as that's your job and all.

"Thank you very much!" I leaned over to touch his shoulder, flashing him a grateful smile.

I walked into the hall and paused, looking around.

Ha ha! I was free!

...

Now where do I go? I glanced down to my front leg.

...

You know, if only I had a map of the entire Stable, perhaps in a compact form I could carry around on my hoof....

Fuck it.

I wandered around until I found a shower and walked into the farthest stall from the door.

If I didn't have my Pipbuck, I could seriously get lost in the Stable.

Nopony would find me for months.

You know, like what had happened during the last excursion.... I made a mental note to familiarize myself with the layout of the whole Stable as I turned the water on.

!

Cold cold cold!

"Fuck!"

After a few moments, I adjusted, and my mind turned back to the dream....

That encounter on Thursday....

I attacked them.

I fucking strolled in there and opened fire on them. Pumpkin was right - I went in planning to kill them from the start.

No questions asked. "Yep, they're raiders. Fuck 'em, they're dead."

The guards at Crimson's base.
...

Indiscriminately murdering ponies in my path?

What the fuck makes me any better than the raiders I killed?

...

I murdered them.

I should kill myself.

Before I hurt anyone else.

...

I can't kill myself. I have ponies who count on what I do every day.

"Why would I do that? I don't even want to kill myself."

"Do you make a habit of considering suicide while you shower, boss?"

!

I'm pretty sure I squeaked as Dashie's voice shocked me out of my thoughts. "Dashie! What are you doing in here?"

"Right now? I'm wondering why you're talking about killing yourself." The sound of Dashie's hoofsteps on the hard steel floor echoed in the showers, only slightly muffled by the sound of falling water.

"Do you make a habit of abusing Security privilege to sneak into the mares' showers?" I glared at the direction of his hoofsteps.

"I didn't sneak in here, and only when my boss ditches her Pipbuck and hides in the showers." His hoofsteps stopped outside my shower. "Why are you talking about killing yourself?"

"I wasn't talking about killing myself, I was talking about not wanting to kill myself."

"Nice dodge, boss." Dashie chuckled as I heard the water turn on in the shower beside me. We fell silent for a minute, before Dashie spoke again, a note of concern audible in his voice. "Firefly? You've been acting... strange. Are... you okay?"

"I'm okay." I settled down on the floor, eyes closed.

"You don't sound okay."

I sighed. "No. I'm not okay." I closed my eyes as the cold water gently tugged my mane down over my face. "I hate talking about feelings." Dashie kept silent. "You remember the guards outside my father's room? On Thursday?" Dashie said he did. "I murdered them."

The two of us spent a few minutes in silence, the only sound being that of the water silently judging me as it ran down the drain, before Dashie spoke up. "That is true."

"Don't ask a question you don't want the answer to, heh?"

"That wasn't a question." Dashie chuckled lightly. "Why did you do it?"

"I don't know." Dashie made a sound. "I felt... trapped."

"Fight or flight, and you choose flight? Hrm...." Dashie trailed off. "That seems unusual for you."

Fight or flight? I groaned and curled up on the floor. "I guess that's who I really am...." A coward?

"I don't think you're a coward, Firefly." Dashie fell silent for a few more minutes, before speaking again. "So, if your father's guards was murder, what was the skirmish on Sunday?"

Hrm.

I opened fire on ponies with whom I was cordially talking. That's the definition of cold blooded murder.

...

Ponies who were in the middle of raiding a village they had just subdued, by their own admission, expressing clear joy at it.

I opened my eyes, let a hint of Dashie-like drawl into my voice and a momentarily satisfied smirk to cross my face. "They had it comin'."

"Oh?" Dashie simply sounded curious.

I pulled my mane out of my eyes. "They had just attacked a village. They were in the middle of raiding it. The mare I was talking with admitted that they'd been hired to do so, and openly stated they enjoyed what they were doing." I nodded and repeated myself, more confidently. "Yes." I sat up. "They had it coming to them."

"I can accept that." I can't help but notice he didn't say he agreed with that.

"That was our first test of what we, as Stable Scouts, are doing Outside. I think we passed." I smirked.

"So, what now, boss?"

What now, indeed. I rose to my hooves, smirk shifting to a bright grin. "Now?" Today looks a whole lot better now. "I finish showering." Hm. "You didn't happen to bring soap, did you?" A bar of soap flew over the divider between our stalls. "Oh Dashie, you complete me." Dashie declined to comment.

The two of us finished our showers and got out. I was using my magic to pull most of the water out of my coat and mane when Dashie spoke up. "You, um, want some clothes?" He politely averted his eyes as he dressed. How sweet.

I glanced down to myself, considering the fact I was completely naked in public for literally the first time in my memory. "You know what? No. I'm good." I flashed him a bright grin as I pulled my mane back, letting it hang long but back, out of my eyes. "Let's go back to my quarters!" I used my magic to zip up his suit.

The door slid open and a pair of mares came inside, pausing in their conversation to stare at Dashie and I; I grinned to them brightly. "Excuse us, mares. The showers are kind of cold, though - you've been warned!" I walked past them, Dashie falling in as he always did.

I turned to Dashie as the door hissed closed behind us and he spoke up. "You noticed the showers were cold, too?" I nodded. "Enchantment on the pipes has probably worn off again. I'll mention it to Mom."

I glanced over my shoulder towards the showers. "I wonder why they enchanted the pipes, instead of simply using a water heater?"

Dashie looked over to me in shock. "Who are you, and what have you done with Firefly?" I looked back to him in confusion. "You? Admitting that, perhaps, unicorn magic is not the solution to everything?"

"Please." I snorted as he snickered. "There are some situations in which earth pony technology's strengths work better than unicorn magic. Not many, but they do exist."

Dashie chuckled at that. "What next, you'll be admitting that unicorns are, perhaps, not the master race after all?"

"Yeah, come back and ask me that again when you can do spells, then we'll talk." I looked at his forehead, where his horn would be, if he were a unicorn. "Oh? What's that? You can't? Exactly."

Dashie simply smirked and shook his head. After a few minutes of trotting through the halls in pleasant silence, I spoke again. "Thank you for that, Dashie. I feel much better now."

He smiled at me, a smile devoid of his usual sly amusement, just simple concern. "How are you feeling? Otherwise, I mean."

"My head hurts. I feel like I could drink a pond, right now."

"That's what you get for getting drunk." I groaned. "How many did you have?"

"Two."

"Lightweight."

"Hey, Range started it." I glanced at Dashie. "How did you find me?"

Dashie glanced back to me with a thoughtful look. "I just... had a feeling."

I snickered and grinned to Dashie. "Do you normally follow your feelings into the mares' showers?"

"Only when my dick says it's a good idea." He grinned back at me lecherously.

"Ewww, Dashie." He chuckled, and I grinned. "This is nice. Just us, chatting... you know?"

"Yeah, I know...." He smirked at me. "I woke up way too early." He glanced at his Pipbuck and suppressed a yawn. "Thanks for that, by the way. Do you normally wake up screaming?"

"Wha?" Shit. I actually screamed?

"I'll take that as a no, then." He looked at me closely. "Bad dream?"

"Ugh, don't ask." I suppressed a shiver. I think I suppressed it. "I've spent way too much time talking about my emotions today."

Dashie spent a long moment looking to me in concern, before dropping it. Thank you, Dashie. "Sure hope you're wrong about that. You and your mother have an appointment with the therapist in an hour."

"Wait, wha?"

"Security SOP, domestic disputes that turn physical require a visit to the shrink." Dashie glanced at me with a sadistic smile.

You bastard. "Oh. Okay." I looked at him. "You were planning to tell me this, when?"

"Aw, you know, whenever you stumbled out of your room."

"Yeah, I did. You didn't tell me?"

"You were tryin' to be sneaky." He glared to me. "Emphasis on 'trying'."

"Hey, don't blame me, I don't have any of your earth pony magic to make me stealthy." I glanced at the wall away from him.

"It's not earth pony magic, it's just watching where you put your hooves! Really, Firefly. Is magic always the answer?"

"Uh, hello? Unicorn?" I gave him cheeky smile and looked up to my horn. "Duh!"

"Ah. Right. Yes." He groaned. "Can I trust you to go to the cafe and not get into trouble for an hour while I get your mother up?"

"I don't know, I wouldn't consider what I did last night 'trouble', exactly...." Dashie narrowed his eyes in what I could only describe as a 'shooty' look. "Okay, I'll go to the cafe, eat breakfast, and then I'll go to the Library and read a book until it's time to meet the shrink or you go and get me. Does that sound good?"

"Just don't get into any more trouble, okay?"

I threw him an innocent look. "All I can promise is that I'll try not to get in trouble." He trotted off with another groan. After a moment's thought, I yelled to him. "Careful waking up my mother! She can buck pretty hard."

I grinned and trotted the opposite way, back towards the cafe, totally nude. You know what? I don't mind this. I felt like I should burst into song, but I can't sing, so I didn't.

I slipped into the Security station, retrieved my bottle of healing potion and consumed a shot. "Oh that's the stuff." I tucked them away in my desk, then headed off to cafe for breakfast.

"Morning 'Fly. The usual?" Aura Cinnamon came over to my table, balancing a tray on his back.

I nodded. "The usual, Aura." He turned to trot off. "Wait! What do you normally eat for breakfast?" He looked confused. I couldn't blame him. "I'll have that. And a big pitcher of water! Please?"

He glanced down to my leg. "You don't have your Pipbuck." Huh? I glanced down. Oh damn it. "I can get you an apple fritter and a water ration for free, but...." He trailed off, not wanting to outright say, 'I can't get you food'.

"Can you cover it for me just this one time? I swear I'll pay you back for it, okay?" He considered, then nodded and hurried off.

I yawned and laid my head down, closing my eyes. A few minutes later, he returned with my food. Oats. "Enjoy!" Oh yes, I will. He glanced around the cafe.

I glanced down to my food. Oh, that looks wonderful. Then, I realized Aura hadn't left, and I looked back up to him as my stomach grumbled. "Can, um, I help you, Aura?" I glanced back to my food.

"I, um. I was wondering. What's it like? Outside the Stable, I mean..." At that moment I'd chosen to eat a spoonful of oats, and subsequently inhaled most of it.

After a moment of coughing, I realized that the only sound in the room was... me coughing. Celestia damn it, Aura.

Well then, I guess I can't disappoint the ponies, can I?

I rose to my hooves, then hopped onto an adjacent table with a smirk, bringing my bowl of oats with me. "So, folks, you wanna know about the outside, huh?" A foal called out an affirmative. "Fair enough."

I settled down and spent a moment chewing on my breakfast, thinking. Damn, this is good. Not a hint of apples to be found. Hrm....

Ah! "We're all used to grey and, well, grey, right? All of the colors the history books told us about? They're Outside." I waved a hoof in the direction of up and outside. "It's like the farm levels, but even that... it's nothing like the Outside." I filled a glass of water and downed it. "The sky is blue and the ground is green. It's... beautiful."

"Really?" A couple of kids shared a look.

"Oh, yeah!" I smirked at the kids as Amber leaned against the wall by one of the supports in the cafe. He caught my eye, and I nodded to him. "The lights are... they're not controlled by any pony, either. They kind of do... whatever they want. You know how the lights are always the same, always?" I gestured towards the lights in the cafe ceiling, kept at the same neutral level they had been for centuries. "Not out there."

"That sounds... unnatural...?" A few ponies looked concerned by that.

Cyclone trotted into the cafe - perfect timing. "Unnatural? No. That's natural light. I remember when ponies used to live under the sun. That's what prewar Equestria was all about."

"Wait, you mean, you were alive before the Last Day?" One of the kids looked at him awe.

"Yeah right, nopony could ever be that old." Another kid snorted. "Don't be stupid."

"Believe it, don't believe it. Doesn't matter to me." Cyclone trotted over to the table I'd been sitting at. "The only thing that should be above the ground is clouds."

"That definitely wasn't the library." Dashie had found Cyclone and I telling the whole cafe wonderful, only mildly embellished tales of the wasteland. "Can't you go an hour without getting into trouble?"

"Trouble? What are you talking about? I was performing some of my duties for Security, drumming up support for our cause of helping the wasteland!"

"Well, your cause, anyways." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Regardless, you're currently relieved of duty, so you're a civilian now. So!" Dashie smirked to me with an evil glint in his eyes. "You're not actually performing your duties, you're causing a disturbance in the cafe."

"I'm not the one that started it, Aura asked a question and then everyone wanted to hear about it. Even ponies that want to seal the Door were listening!"

"Uh huh... You have a meeting with the therapist now."

"What are you, my secretary?"

"No, I'm normally your second in command, currently your superior right now, and your foalsitter."

"I don't need a foalsitter!"

"No, you just need someone to keep you from stepping on landmines."

"Hey!" ... I glanced down to my left leg, suppressing a shiver. "Okay, okay, you might have a point there."

"Might?" Dashie raised an eyebrow.

"That's all I'm going to accede right now." Dashie let out a skeptical grunt. "I've made a decision. Enough running! I'm going to face my problems head on now!"

"Uh huh...." Dashie pointed to a door. "Now go face your mommy issues."

"Maybe I could leave that one until tomorrow?"

"Yeah, no." Dashie pushed me into the room.

He's right, of course. Dashie followed me in and took a position by the door, in case my mother tried to attack me again.

"Hello, Firefly." There were two other ponies in the room. One of them was my mother, curled up on the couch. She looked at me as I entered, before hurriedly looking back to the floor. The second was an older earth pony mare. She glanced over to me, then to Dashie trotting in behind the door and sighed softly.

Then she turned her bright green-eyed stare on me. "I see you and your mother are... not on friendly terms?"

"Me? Not friendly with my mother? Huh. I had no idea." I rolled my eyes. "It's not like she abandoned me for most of my life or anything. Nope! No chance, lady." She smiled to me, and I realized what I'd just said. "Fuck."

I expected her to chastise me for swearing, but she simply smiled. "I was going to suggest we just talk and get to know each other a little before going into that, but if you want to go right into it...."

I sighed. "What do you want to know?"

She smiled. "Please don't patronize me, Firefly."

"I'm sorry...." I looked at the shrink, before I realized... that wasn't the shrink that had just spoken.

It was my mother.

"Sapphire?" The shrink looked at her. "Did you want to say something?" No.

My mother cleared her throat. "Yes." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before opening her eyes and looking at me. "I... Yes. I did."

I looked away. I should have worn my Security barding. "I'm sorry, Firefly. I've been a horrible mother." Yes. Yes you have.

"I've neglected you..." Yes. Yes you have.

"And...." She paused.

Is she crying?

Shit.

Mare, that's one nice scuff in the carpet there.

"I almost killed you last night!" I'm gonna leave that one alone....

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Nice speech.

"Could you ever forgive me?" Nope!

...

A pregnant silence settled over the room.

...

Wait. This is where I answer her. Uh. ... I opened my mouth for a heartbeat, glancing at a spot on the wall.

What do I say. "I, um..." I closed my mouth again.

She looked so... heartbroken as she curled up on the floor.

...

So... pathetic.

...

So pitiful.

...

I sat down, looking to the floor, and my mane fell over my face, blocking her from view.

For a moment, I felt pity for her. My mother.

The mare who bore me, and then abandoned me.

Another moment, another heartbeat, and I took a deep breath. "I don't know." Another heartbeat went by. "I...."

....

I.

What do I want?

I want my mother.

Suddenly, the answer was clear. I looked up her and tossed my mane out of my face. "I will... give you a chance. Okay? I'm not ready to forgive you. Not, not yet. Okay?"

She looked up, and beamed at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. She just seemed to look... so much more vibrant than I'd ever seen her.

"Thank you!" She lunged at me. Holy shit, she was fast!

... But Dashie was faster. She ran into him and fell back.

"I think that about wraps up today's session...."

That... could have gone worse, I guess. I glanced back to the therapist's office and hurried away, glancing to my Pipbuck.

... which I wasn't wearing, because I'd had it removed.

Right. Okay. Quarters, clothes, Pipbuck.

I hurried to my quarters before my mother got back there and dressed, looking at the shelf I... we'd knocked over last night.

Hrm....

I sighed and walked over to it, picking the shelf up and straightening it up.

After standing the shelf back up, I glanced around. May as well clean up the bottles too.

Mother entered her quarters and froze inside the door, staring at me. I paused, picking up a bottle, before giving her a small smile. She returned it with a nervous, but grateful look.

"No more cider?" I waved the bottle at her. She blinked, cocked her head, before realizing what I meant.

She spent another moment staring at it, before nodding jerkily. "No more cider. I promise." She sighed softly, and trotted over to me, slowly. That wasn't the same look as last night, but... I backpedaled nevertheless. "Can... can I... hug?"

I thought about that for a moment. I looked at her nervous expression, before trotting over to hug her. She froze up, before leaning into the hug carefully.

We stood there for a moment, just hugging, before I gently pulled away and looked at her. "You...." She cocked her head quizzically. "You look... nice. Better than you have in ages." She smiled brilliantly. Ewww, she stinks. "When was the last time you showered?" Her smile faded to a sad look.

...and it came back, a slow, happy smile. "And you're the Stable's diplomat?" Her smile grew to a grin, and she chuckled.

It was a lovely sound.

Her chuckles grew to laughter.

It was infectious.

We sat there for a few minutes, just laughing at nothing and everything.

I was laughing with my mother. This is a dream....

Or a nightmare?

"You know... I never expected this." She looked over to me as I spoke. "Us. Laying here. Laughing together."

She sighed. "I... I'm sorry." Her sad look returned. "Maybe, we can do this more often?"

I smiled. "I'd like that." I crawled to my hooves. "Come on, lets get you showered, okay?" I offered her my hoof.

She looked up to me before she took my hoof and let me pull her to her hooves.

Once we got to the showers, she glanced around, sighing wistfully. "You know, your father and I...." A sly smirk crossed her face as she trailed off. "Which shower do you normally use?" I raised a hoof and slowly pointed to the far one in the corner. She giggled. "Guess which one you were conceived in."

"Eww! Mother!"

"Oh please, Firefly, it's not as if other ponies don't use the showers for that same purpose."

Idly I remembered walking in on Pumpkin and Tawny last week.

To be perfectly honest? So have I. "Most other ponies aren't my mother though!"

"I should hope not!" She grinned - evilly - before it quickly faded, and she glanced away nervously. "I... I'm sorry. You didn't need to hear that."

I thought about that. "No, I didn't. But thank you, anyways." She went into the shower.

I went over to the sink, looking at myself in the mirror and pulling my mane back into my normal half-ponytail. After a few minutes, Mother emerged from the shower, and I turned to face her as she twisted her pink and green striped mane into a quick bun.

She smiled to me. "Aww, my little mare's all grown up." Thanks, Mother. Her smile faded to a sad look, and she sighed. "And I missed so much of it...."

"I'm not gonna lie - you're getting pretty depressing." I looked up to her. "Don't apologize any more, just make up for it." I continued to soften the blow. "Okay?"

She nodded. "I...." She cut herself off - probably before she apologized again - and closed her mouth. "Yes. You're right." She stared at me as I tilted my head, and a lock of my mane fell over my face. "You should probably use a bun for your mane, not a ponytail. Ponytails are an easy target to grab."

"That's a good point." I nodded. "I'll take it into consideration."

"You're so like your father sometimes...." She sighed. "Come here." I'll wait to tell her that Crimson and Azure are still alive.

I trotted over to her after a moment's consideration, and she pulled my ponytail out. "Hey!"

"Let me show you how to do it."

"Ugh, fine."

"Oh, stop acting like a filly." She pulled my mane back into a full ponytail, then held up a strip of a Stable suit, part of the sleeve. "It's called a sleeve bun. Fold this up and put it on your ponytail, then turn your mane in and pull it back with another mane tie." She turned my head so I could look at the mirror. "There. How's that?"

I glanced at the side, shaking my head. None of my mane really flowed with it. "I don't like it." I made a face. "It doesn't flow like my ponytail does."

"You know, ponytails are actually prohibited by...." She paused, a blank look crossing her face. "I... I can't remember which policy." Her blank look shifted to a lost, forlorn frown.

"It's been a while since you've used that?" She nodded slowly, and I leaned over to hug her. She squeezed back. "Ow, ow."

"Ooh, right. Sorry."

"What did I say about apologizing?"

She gave me a blank look, before smirking. "Oops. Sorry?"

Rude little brat. "You can buck really hard, you know?"

"You should be able to do the same thing. You're half my age!" She gave me a fragile smile. "I'm going to go get dressed, then I'll go in to Security. Do you have something to do?"

I glanced down to my leg. "I need to get my Pipbuck back. I'll see you tonight?"

"Count on it." She grinned and squeezed me back.

"Ow." I glanced over to the mirror at her, and noticed she had a wedding earring. "You have an earth pony earring?"

She glanced at me, then to her reflection with a distant look. "Yeah..." She reached up to rub it with one of her hooves, then nodded as she pulled herself back to the here and now. "It's harder to lose than a horn ring."

"That's a good point." I leaned over to hug her. "Okay, I have to go do things. I'll see you in a bit, Mother." Vague ideas of kissing her on the cheek crossed my mind, but... I'm not ready for that yet.

The assistant Pipbuck tech was sitting at a bench, and he rose to his hooves as I entered. "Three visits from Security within three days? What have you ponies been doing to your Pipbucks?" I smiled to him as his amused smile shifted to a bemused frown. "Wait, no, no. Please don't answer that. Hello, uhh..." He glanced down to his Pipbuck, then to my fetlock as he noticed I wasn't wearing a Pipbuck. "Oh. ... Why are you here, uh, ma'am?"

I glanced at the workbench, where a Pipbuck I was fairly sure was mine sat. "I'm here for my Pipbuck." He looked confused. "I came here this morning?"

"... Oh." He looked at the Pipbuck, then to me again with a blank expression. "Oh! Captain Firefly, right?" He paused. "You looked, um, different, this morning."

"Less dressed?"

"You look a lot better with your mane down." He smirked. "And undressed, yeah...."

"Well, there's definitely a reason why you're a Pipbuck tech." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Just tell me my damn Pipbuck is done."

He looked confused. "Uh... yes, ma'am..." He levitated it over to me, and I held my fetlock out for him. "I replaced the padding, cleared the cache and installed a couple of updates some of the Arcane Science ponies made. I also cleaned it off. What did you go galloping through to get it that gross?"

"You know... mud. Radroach bits." I thought about that. "There was the land mine...."

His eyes trailed up my leg. "Land... mine...?"

"Small bomb, buried in the ground. Goes boom when you step on them." I smirked and leaned in. "Took my leg off." I pulled my Stable suit up to the scar, showing him it. "Damn good thing I had the Stable's best doctor with me, or I might not be standing here!" He glanced away nervously, looking a bit green. Hehehe. Jerk.

Exiting Pipbuck Maintenance, dressed in my Security barding, with my Pipbuck back... it felt right. As wonderful as au naturale was, I just felt 'right' in my security barding. A glance to my EFS - I have no clue why - revealed a green tag, surrounded by several... red? tags. I followed the tags to a room. A familiar older, blue unicorn stallion, surrounded by several unfriendly looking ponies. The red tags corresponded to Doctor Cerulean's 'companions.'

"Kill any more Stable ponies yet, 'Doc'?" Oh, okay, that's how it is.

I sauntered into the room. "Doctor Cerulean pulled my flank out of the fire last week, so, yes, I'd say he's done pretty well." The group all turned to face me. "What seems to be the problem here, ponies?"

"I don't think that's really any of your business, mare." The leader took a step forward with a confident look. She was a skinny blue unicorn mare, not quite an adult, a few hooves shorter than I am. Based off the glint in her pink eyes, I think she might be trying to intimidate me....

Oh, well, if that's how your going to play it.

"It's a damn good thing nopony cares what you think." I slipped into orders mode, barking at them. "I'm Captain Firefly." That did it. I gave them a moment to consider their mistakes, before speaking again, slowly and clearly. "What is going on here?" Their expressions changed from smug confidence to anxiety, and a couple of them shared uneasy looks.

"We were just having a, uh, discussion with the good Doctor here...." One of them sniggered at that, and a couple of them glared at her.

That's cute. "Uh huh. I'll give you all a warning - this time - but I'll be making a note on your records. If there any further 'discussions' with Doctor Cerulean, your punishments will be severe. Get out of here."

"Yes, ma'am..." The ponies filed out, grumbling quietly.

I turned to Cerulean as the door shut behind them. "You okay, Cerulean?"

"What?" Cerulean looked... stupefied? "Why?"

"Why...?"

"Why did you get involved? You didn't have to do that."

"Actually, I do." I tossed a quick glance over my shoulder, to my clearly labeled Security barding. "It's my job." I took a step over towards him. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Oh." Cerulean turned and started to leave. "I see."

"Cerulean, wait." I took a step towards him. "You're also my friend."

He stopped and spoke, repeating my words with a strangled voice. "Why wouldn't I?" He glanced at me, a cold, mocking sneer crossing his face, and his voice changed, depression and bitterness filling it. "Because I'm an obnoxious, unpleasant asshole, and I spent the past week making your life hell, that's why." He turned to face me as his voice suddenly spiked in volume. "Why the fuck would you? What kind of crazed idiot would waste their time on me?"

I stepped back in shock at the spike in volume, and a cruel smirk of satisfaction crossed his face. "Hell? No. A bit more difficult than it needed to be, mayb-"

Cerulean snorted. "Don't try and sugar coat it, Captain Landmine." He turned away, trotting over to a desk in the corner. "It's condescending."

"I was serious about that." Cerulean looked at me curiously. "I think of you as one of my friends." He quickly looked away.

He turned back to face me. "I've... never had any friends." After a moment, a look of shock crossed his face. "If you'll excuse me, I hear my friends calling me." He turned and fled the room.

...

Well.

That was unexpected.

Hrm....

I went back to the therapist's office, knocking on the door. A voice bade me to enter, and I walked inside, looking about carefully. "Do you have time to talk?"

"Hello again, Firefly." She glanced at a Pipbuck on her desk, then nodded with a pleasant smile. "I have a few hours before my next appointment. You've already had your visit with your mother today, haven't you?"

"Sort of, yes." I thought back about that with a wince. "Yes, about that... I would like to apologize for my earlier behavior."

"Rude sarcasm is fairly tame, compared to some of the things I've dealt with."

"Oh?" I looked at her curiously as I walked into her office, the door closing behind me. Already committed.

"As much I'd like to tell you.... I actually wouldn't, even if I could." She smiled. "Client confidentiality is crucial to establishing a healthy space. Nothing said in this room will be repeated outside, on my honor as a medical professional. Sit down, if you feel like." She gestured towards the couch my mother had been lying on earlier. I groaned and collapsed on it. "I see you're dressed this time."

"I had a... revelation... last night." I closed my eyes. "And a few too many drinks, which lead to ... the reason for my previous visit."

"Do you normally drink?" She had a clear, but quiet voice that put me at ease.

I shook my head. "No, I'd..." I paused, considering, before changing where I was going. "The Leading Council has deemed me unfit for my current position and requested that I have a psychiatric evaluation. So I guess that's why I'm here."

She made some notes on a M1500. "And why has the Council deemed you unfit for your position?"

Why did they, indeed.... "Normally my answer would be, 'because they don't like me or my father'." I paused, chewing on my lip. "But that would be the immature answer. It's true, of course." I glanced at her, and she said nothing, simply looked at me, expecting me to elaborate. "... but that's not completely why. I made several... ah..." I broke off and sat up, looking to her. "I made some pretty stupid, dangerous, irresponsible decisions during my last mission Outside."

"And what were those decisions?"

I looked at her, considering. "Crimson has been... busy since he left the Stable twenty years ago." I elaborated after a moment. "Crimson being my... father...."

She nodded. "I remember his departure."

"I ran into him last week, and while talking with him, I... had what I believe was a panic attack." I sighed and curled up on my side. "I attacked him, shot two of his ponies and ran away...." I closed my eyes. "He had two of my ponies prisoner, and I ran off without them. If ... Crimson... had been less lenient, he could have killed both of them."

"If he had been vengeful, he could have hunted Dashie and I and killed us, too." I paused, blinking as my mind galloped ahead. "I could have gotten all of my ponies killed with that one fucking decision! I don't even know if I'm fucking fit for duty anymore!"

She leaned forward. "If you were unfit for duty, you would also be unable to realize you were unfit for duty. By admitting that, you've admitted that you made a mistake, and that you understand you made a mistake. That's a very big step."

I blinked, considering that. I have the ability to judge that I'm incompetent, which means I'm less competent than I thought? ... that makes sense, in a twisted sort of way. She continued after a moment. "Why did you run away?"

"He... ran off. I never got a chance to know him...." I thought back, trying to remember what had been going through my mind. "He had other children... a pegasus mare. She looks like me, but a pegasus." I trailed off sadly. "He abandoned me, and he replaced me with another daughter." I curled up on my side. "... Like I never meant anything to him."

She stayed quiet for several moments. "I can't speak for your father, but I don't think your sister 'replaced' you, not in his mind. You can't simply replace a child like that. I think he missed you." I thought about that, wiping a tear I'd only just noticed, and sat up.

"So, Firefly, tell me. Do you experience panic attacks frequently?" She leaned forward, looking to me curiously.

My mind flashed back to yesterday afternoon. "No."

She looked at me for a long moment, and I think she was trying to tell if I was being honest. "Very well." If she were a unicorn, she'd probably be using an interrogation spell. "Is there anything else you want to discuss?"

"I think that's everything..."

"Well, if that's all...." She glanced down to her M1500. "I see no reason why you're not fit for duty." She looked back up to me. "Assuming there's nothing else...?" She trailed off.

"That's it." I smiled. "Thank you. For listening."

She returned the smile. "That is what I get paid to do, after all."

I left the therapist's office with an idea. Dashie and Cyclone were right - talking about it did make me feel better.

"Hiya, Captain FF." I glanced up at the sound of Crescent Sparks' voice, and looked over to see her saluting me.

"As you were, Crescent." Mineral Sands was with Crescent.

"What brings you down to the Sciences wing, ma'am?" Sands looked at me with a curious smile.

"Security business." I smiled to them.

"So, um, is it true that you've been removed from Chief of Field Operations?" Sands looked around nervously as Crescent glared at her.

"Technically, yes." Crescent looked worried. "But nothing to be worried about. The Council had a few concerns about my previous mission, and I accepted a temporary suspension to satisfy them. As I said, temporary."

"So, when are we going to leave the Stable, Captain?" Crescent had an excited grin.

...you know, that's a good question. "The next mission is currently in the planning stages, but it's too early to say anything concrete. Soon, though. Next week or so, at the latest."

"Woo!" Crescent grinned. "Good luck, Captain!"

"Luck is for the weak and unprepared." I smiled. "But thank you." I turned and trotted off for the cafe, taking my usual corner seat after getting a Sparkle-cola. I dug out my Pipbuck and got to work.

The conversation with Crescent had put me on the path of planning, and I needed time to think.

An hour later, I briskly trotted into Security like the mare on a mission I was, heading into Range's office.

...

Please don't be fucking Cerulean, Range. "Colonel!" Fortunately, she was not. In fact, she was lying back in her seat, back hooves crossed on her desk, chatting with my mother.

Range yawned boredly. "What is it, Fi...."

"Two things." I closed the door behind me and leaned over to hug my mother. "Hi, Mother." Range's brows narrowed in confusion at that. "Yeah, yes, ask me later. First of all," I pointed a hoof in Range's direction, "the shrink says I'm not batshit crazy."

"Secondly?" I hopped onto the chair across from Range, allowing a smug smirk to cross my face, folding my forehooves across the back. "I have a plan."

"Oh, I see." Range's frown deepened, and she sighed. "It's going to be one of those days." She dug out a bottle of cider, and I glared at her, looking over at my mother. She scowled at me and put the bottle away. "What kind of plan." She levitated out three bottles of Sparkle-cola.

"We form an exterior scout force." I leaned forward, grinning as I cooled and uncapped my bottle. My Pipbuck ticked softly.

"You lost me." She frowned and pulled her hooves off her desk, levitating out her M2500.

"The exterior scout force will focus on maintaining our reputation outside, while Security will focus on internal matters and Stable defense." The chair I was sitting on started tipping over and I leaned back. "That way, we have two forces optimized for different purposes, and it allows my exterior groups to operate without interfering with internal police and defense matters."

"Right, so, assuming the Council approves this...." Range shook her head. "Who the hell would be stupid enough to join a group like that?"

"Before I left, I put out a request for volunteers, remember?" Range frowned and sipped her Sparkle-cola. "I have six volunteers. They're inexperienced, but they've got potential."

"Ah. Yes." Range rubbed her jaw with her hoof. "You know... that might work."

"Plus there's Cerulean and Pumpkin, Plat and Nimble. Add in Dashie and I and that's almost a quarter of Security's total complement willing to join this group."

"I dunno know about Mend, Fi." Range considered. "Or Pumpkin, the Council have been... testy... about her recently. Whatever." She waved her hoof. "Irrelevant. So, who's going to lead this... 'excursion group'?" I smirked. Range frowned. "You can't do everything all at once, Firefly. Who's going to be CFO?"

I leaned back, considering that. "Not sure, not yet. You could double as CFO. Isn't that basically what you do when I'm not around anyways?" Range snorted.

My mother spoke up. "I could, perhaps...?" She trailed off, glancing between Range and I nervously.

Range looked at my mother. "I don't think you're quite ready for that yet, Saph. I could use your help." Mother thought about that, then nodded slowly with a sad look as Range turned back to me. "That's pretty much what I did before you came along anyways. It's a damn good thing Armet never had to actually do his job." She groaned. "I am going to regret this. This is your thing, but I'll back you on it."

"Excellent!" I glanced at my Pipbuck. "Meeting with the Council in... two hours?" Range nodded. "See you then." I leaned over to kiss my mother on the cheek - how casually I did it surprised me - and I left to go write up a proposal.

Once again, how my day starts sets the tone for it will end. In this case, inversely.

Councilor Rose frowned as she sat down. "So you say the therapist has certified you as ready for duty?" I leaned forward as the Council quickly got to business. Enough smugness, time to serious up, Firefly.

"Yes." I nodded. "If you'd like, I could summon her." I looked at my Pipbuck.

Councilor Rose considered, then shook her head. "No, that won't be necessary. We believe you." Councilor Hex immediately looked at her Pipbuck with a skeptical look. Councilor Rose shared a look with the rest of the Council, and they all gave her varying amounts of approval. "The Council will allow you to be reinstated as Chief of Field Operations, Captain."

"Thank you, Councilor." I think I mostly hid my gleeful grin.

I think.

Mostly.

Range spoke up. "There was also another reason for calling this meeting. I believe we should wait for the Overmare before we begin, as this concerns her."

The door hissed open and - right on cue - Overmare Book Keeper entered, bearing her usual pleasant smile. "I see you've started with me?"

I coughed, drawing attention to myself as I rose. "Impeccable timing, Overmare. We were just getting some minor business out of the way." Councilor Hex glared at me as I spoke, and I politely snubbed her as I turned to the Overmare. "The real purpose for this meeting is that I have a proposal for Security I'd like you to read." Before she had a chance to react, I levitated a M2500 over to her. As the Overmare took her seat, Range distributed M2000s to the Council.

The Council discussed my proposal amongst themselves quietly, occasionally glancing around to us, huddled inside a bubble of silence. Councilor Hex's face in particular rapidly shifted through several expressions - confusion, understanding, irritation - before settling on her default bland smile.

I shared a glance with Range as the room remained silent.

I filled a glass of water for myself. Come on, come on.

After several brief-yet-never-ending minutes, the Council sat up, dispelled the bubble of silence and glanced at the Overmare.

The Overmare nodded, indicating we should continue. Promising.

"The Council will... hear your proposal out." Councilor Rose began evenly. "Explain your idea, Captain." Good.

"Thank you, Councilor." I appreciated her use of my rank as I sipped my water before rising. "The Stable requires a presence Outside. Like it or not, by opening the doors two decades ago, we informed the Outside of our existence, and we can't simply close the doors and hide away. In order to survive in the wasteland, we need friends."

I turned and cast a map of the area on the wall behind me, illuminating major players within the area. "The city of Baltimare is not as dead as we expected it to be." A large circle displayed in the center of the city. A red Stable-tec gear in the center of the circle indicated that this was Crimson Raiders turf. "Some of these factions are friendly, traders or other settlements." Other, smaller circles lit up around the Crimson Raiders turf, a variety of colors. "Others are unknowns." A blue circle lit up around the prewar hospital. "Still more are unfriendly, but not actively hostile." A green circle lit up around the radio station. A sword-and-gears emblem inside of a box indicated that this was the Steel Rangers base. "So far, we haven't encountered any outright hostile factions."

Councilor Hex spoke up. "Assuming that your... actions... in the Crimson Raider's main base did not draw their ire, of course." I was under the impression the general consensus during the first meeting was that the Crimson Raiders were of no concern?

"Yes, there is that." I nodded and attempted to deflect the conversation back towards where I'd been going.

Councilor Sheets spoke up before I could go back to my arguments. "What about the wastelanders you encountered in the Rooks Stadium on Wednesday and the raiders attacking the zebra settlement on Sunday?" Ah, she read the operational reports. Interesting.

I shook my head. "Isolated gangs of raiders, nothing more."

"Are you sure of that?"

Hrm. It is possible there were more of them. "As of this moment, I am confident that there are no parties who are planning to threaten the Stable with the capabilities to do so, Councilor."

"You're saying that there are parties who would like to threaten the Stable?"

"Of course. Wastelanders angry and jealous of our lot in life. Raiders who seek to take what isn't theirs. Others. They're not a threat."

Councilor Hex frowned at me severely, but nodded. "Very well."

"As Councilor Hex brought up, the Stable may eventually have enemies. In that regard, Stable 30 has been lucky so far. But luck can only get you so far. An exterior scout force to tip the odds in our favor would would greatly reduce the chances of an attack, by gaining favor and forming alliances with major factions Outside." I paused and sipped my water, smirking slightly and lowering my voice in a conspiratorial manner, speaking slowly for emphasis. "After all, who would dare attack a trade hub that has ties with all major factions in the area? An attack on us would be an attack on all of them, and that would be..." I paused, as if I were looking for an appropriate word, "Messy for the aggressors." I gave that a moment to sink in, before continuing. "This exterior scout force's goals would include gathering intelligence and managing our reputation among the Outside."

Councilor Sheets adjusted her glasses. "What's wrong with how Security is currently, Captain?"

"Good question, Councilor." I sat back and looked at Councilor Sheets. "Security is currently specialized into policing the Stable and repelling attackers. Their purpose is necessary, but what we really need now is a force that is specialized into operations beyond the wire. We can't prepare to defend against what we don't know about, and the only way to learn about the Outside is to go outside and get our hooves dirty."

Councilor Hex leaned forward. "Forcing ponies to go Outside? You're insane." She shook her head, looking to the rest of the Council. "Nopony will go for it." A couple Councilors seemed to be leaning towards her opinion. "This is a waste of our time."

I shook my head. "As I mentioned in my proposal, it would be an entirely volunteer force." I suppressed a smirk. "In fact, I already have several volunteers already." I paused to let that sink in. "I require more ponies for my reconnaissance teams to properly defend the Stable, and creating this exterior scout force will allow me to utilize them in the most expedient manner without interfering with Security's day-to-day operations."

"Colonel?" Councilor Rose shifted her glance to Range.

Range thought for a moment, before speaking calmly. "Captain Firefly's idea is sound. It's a logical extension of Security."

"Very well...." Councilor Rose turned the the Overmare. "Would you like to weigh in with your opinion, Overmare?"

She smiled. "I approve of this proposal." She glanced at the Council. "Does the Leading Council have any closing arguments they wish to be heard?"

Councilor Rose spoke up. "Who would be in command of this exterior scout force?"

Range spoke up. "During the transitional period, Captain Firefly will maintain her positions as both Chief of Field Operations and head of the exterior scout force. As field operations, this does fall under her jurisdiction, after all." The Council turned their eyes to me. "That will change once things settle down, and command of the exterior scout force will be separated into its own position distinct from Chief of Field Operations."

"And who will act as Chief of Field Operations while Captain Firefly is out of the Stable?" Councilor Sheets glanced from Range to I and back. "Didn't you mention that personally handling the CFO duties would put undue strain on Security?"

"As of that moment, that was true, yes." Range paused and smirked - for just a moment - a curling of the edges of her mouth, unnoticeable to anyone who didn't know her. "However, Colonel Aurora has decided to seek treatment and assistance in recovering from her alcoholism. With her assistance I should be able to manage both."

"What about the ponies at, uh..." Councilor Sheets looked at the M2000. "FOB Haven, was it?"

"They'll get folded in to the exterior scout force, unless, of course, they wish not to. In that case, they'll remain in Security and be reassigned back to the Stable."

Councilor Sheets glanced up from her M2000. "Wouldn't doing this siphon ponies from Security?"

Range shook her head. "On paper, maybe, but not really, not in practice."

I coughed. "Security would certainly benefit from having additional ponies."

Councilor Rose nodded. "We will see what we can do."

The room fell quiet for a moment, and the Overmare spoke up again. "Does the Council have any other concerns they'd like to have addressed?"

The Council looked among each other, giving signs of approval. "The Council has nothing further to add, Overmare. Captain Firefly's proposal has the Council's full backing." Councilor Hex pushed her M2000 forward slightly, and Councilor Rose continued. "For now, that is. The Council reserves the right to pull its support, should anything happen."

"Very well." The Overmare nodded and turned to me. "Did you have a name in mind for this exterior scout force, Captain?"

"Why yes, Overmare, I did." I flashed her a brilliant smile. "Stable Scout."

Author's Notes:

So. This has happened. It's delightful, is it not?
I've been waiting for several of the big events in this chapter for months! One step forward.

Speaking of, if you're interested, I'll likely be attending Bronycon Baltimore, so, track me down if you can. Chances are good I'll be at the Fallout Equestria panel.