These are the things I can do without... Come on, I'm talking to you, come on. Shout, shout, throw my head back and SHOUT! Kick my heels up and SHOUT! Throw my ass in the air! Put your ass up in the air! Put your ass in the air! Move around like I don't care; I love it! I don't care! I got this feeling so sudden and new. I felt the moment I laid eyes on you. My pulse is going down, down in an earlier round. And Sugar, we're going down, down, down as the flames went higher. And it burns, burns, let it burn, let it burn, gotta let it burn!

YEAH! How many was that? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! Eight! New record! BOOM! That's a little vocal exercise I like to call "Follow The Word". The longer you keep the string of songs going, the higher the score. If you stammer at all, YOU LOSE! But -uh- I think I'm gonna have to knock off two points since I strung one or two songs together with a word that wasn't in either song... Sloppy work... Yeah. But it's whatever. Still the world champ. Chant it.

Champ!

Champ!

Champ!

Chimp!

Hm. Chimp... Chimpy-Chitty-Chatty-Bang-Bang... I'll use that one later. Lock it up in the vault... That's where the muy importante stuff gets filed. You'd need to be some kinda ninja time traveler with triple joints and a butter knife to get into that vault. But since it's also the vault of ma' mind, not even a ninja can crack in! Unless it's a psychic ninja... But Twilight Sparkle's the only psychic ninja I know. She won't admit it... But I know... I-I-I-I know.

...Who're you? Who am I? You're invading ma' mind space and you're asking me questions?

Cool. I'm Lyra Heartstrings. Mus~~~~~ic extraordinaire! Dancer extraordinaire! Extraordinaire extraordinaire! Nah, I'm just warping your melon... I can't dance for SHIT. I'm sorry... That was vulgar... I cannot dance for SHIT! Better? Copacetic. Before it gets too far away and whatever, I wanna bring you back to what I was doing earlier. Since I was -pssssssssh (seven I think?)- I got sooOooOooo bored with the music I'd hear in the car. Three minutes of the same poppy-loppy-cornball love songs over and over and over and over and over and over and over and--You've gone through it too! It's boring! So, I just started putting songs together.

I'd do another one, but I don't want the boys up in legal to rob ma' mind for copyright infringement or something. They can get you in your own brain these days... The government's always watching... ALWAYS! Santa's in league with them. He gets a cut! That's how he affords it all! FACT!

Gah. I'm off kilter over here. I'm like a scot without his kilt... Off-kilter... Damn, should've led in with that... Lock it in the vault for future shemamigans. And yes, shemamigans. Not shenanigans. There's a difference... One has two grown up 'n's'. Someday you'll know the greater difference... Maybe... I'd'know...

Look, sissy britches. I'm just bugged. Sorry. I've got all kinds of thun-thun-thun in my head right now. No space to think. You wanna know why? Course you do, you won't go away! See, life's like this... Uh-huh... Uh-huh... This's the way it is.

Bon Bon. My sweet, darling Bon Bon. The only cobalt-fuchsia haired, blue eyed woman with an affinity for pianos and assorted hobbies I have ever loved... About -oh, I don't know- two years, eleven months, twenty-nine days, ten hours, eleven minutes, and a few seconds ago she and I got married. I know, crazy, right? A wedding in this economy? But, she wore me down... I couldn't say no to that face. THAT FACE! GAH! I just wanna--RAH!

Aaaaaanywho... I bet you're thinking. "Is that it? Chill out. What'cha yelling for?". Well, lay back. It's all been said before. But right now, we're talking one on one... I love her to bits and pieces. With her -GRAH!- I can be me! I don't have to put on a facade! A sham! A flimflam! I can just sit back and go 'yo'. But...

You ever step in dog shit? Sorry, that was vulgar again. I have such a bad tongue today. I apologize. You ever step in animal doo-doo? It sticks to the bottom of your shoe, and no one wants to say anything about the smell because maybe that's how you always smell and they don't want to be rude and call you out on it. And worse, you're tracking it around, so now the whole block smells like it. Next thing you know, the FBI comes and you're getting arrested for disturbing the peace and conspiring to attack the mayor!

...So, yeah. When you step in it, it sticks with you until you clean it off. But even then; still kinda lingers on you like a clingy sloth. But, if you clean it off before anyone notices, you can just brush off the smell as whatever. The same goes for the sloth... You can just brush a sloth off with a broom or something... Probably need someone to help you. Make sure it's someone you can pay off. Why did you have a sloth on you in the first place? No one needs to know that.

...Where was I? OH! Yeah.

I forgot to get anything ready for our wedding anniversary... BUT! She doesn't know that... No one knows that except me... So, the poop's on my tootsies, but I can still scrape it off... I just need the right tools to do it...

Why is it so important? Because this is our first year living together alone. We're not with my mom or her sisters any more. We gots'ta make this one count! It's gotta be the best gift ever! Something that takes months to plan and get ready!

...But -uh- I've only got about one day to pull this off. No prob-Bob... Lyra's always ready. Except that time they caught me at the boarder with that woodchuck... I didn't have a plan that time... But this is WAY DIFFERENT! This isn't about the liberation of woodchucks. This is about love. True, true, true love. I ain't NOTHIN' without Bon Bon. She...

She gets me... I don't need to put up this farce of a persona for her. I can be the real me around her. She's -you know- spec. Special. That's why I gotta make this work... I get one chance at this in all my life. I can't let it go to waste. You know?

Wait! I got it! Yes! SOooOooo simple! BLAM! Bingo-bango, I'm gonna do a tango! I got it! I better get on to it. Get on up! Mmm! I'm a sex machine!

No, Lyra! No time for reciting lyrics! I need to get everything ready. I'll need a piano, a chisel, a white suit, and an Octavia...

Oh-ho-ho-ho-HO! I can already hear the symphonies in my head.