"I don't see why I have to help you deliver all these pies!" complained Silverspoon.

So Princess Diamond Tiararara slapped her and said "because you're my wife or whatever."

"Or husband?" Silverspoon asked, remembering it had been her wearing the tuxedo at their wedding.

Princess Diamond Tiararara scoffed. "Not a chance. I think every pony knows who wears the trousers in this relationship."

"Yes, mistress," Silverspon replied meekly.

"Anyway, you have to help me because I'm a princess and I told you to," the princess queried.

"But why are you delivering pies anyway?" Silverspoon stated.

Princess Diamond Tiararara shrugged. "I dunno. Pinkie Pie wanted me to or something."

The two ponies went and delivered loads of pies. They delivered apple pie to Apple Jack. They delivered cherry pie to Cherryjubilee. They delivered apple pie to Appleblume too and I don't know why she couldn't just share her sister's pie, that greedy filly. The delivered cocoa pie to Coco Pommel. They delivered peach pie to Ms Peachbottom. They delivered cheese pie to Cheese Sandwich. They delivered carrot pie to Carrot Top. They delivered cinnamon pie to Cinnamon Chai. They delivered doughnut pie to Donut Joe. They delivered pumpkin pie to Pumpkin Cake. And they delivered key lime pie to Berry Punch, because she liked key lime pie, okay? It's nice.

At the end of their deliveries, Princess Diamond Tiararara and Silverspoon relaxed on the sofa in their castle.

"That was a lot of pies," Silverspoon asked.

"Yeah, sure was," Princess Diamond Tiararara exclaimed quietly while yawning.

"Wanna do sex stuff?" Silverspoon stated, fluttering her cute little eyelashes.

"Nah, but there's a warm apple pie left in the cart," Princess Diamond Tiararara agreed.

Silverspoon took the pie and went up to the bedroom with it.

Princess Diamond Tiararara drifted off to sleep and 14 hours later she woke up and she was like, "oh crap, that pie was supposed to be for Apple Fritter" and she ran up the stairs to see if it was still okay and she looked at the pie and saw what Silverspoon had done with it and she was all like "ewwww".

Because apparently Silverspoon has a thing for pies now.

Whatever.

Author's Notes:

The idea for this chapter came from Blue Blush… ages ago.

Chapter 15 — Diamond Tiara is Needlessly Cruel to Twist

“Oi! Watch where you’re going, you dumb pony!” Princess Diamond Tiara shouted at the filly she’d almost tripped over.

“Oh hi, Diamond! I heard you were a princess now!” the curly-maned earth pony filly responded.

Princess Diamond Tiara and her wife Silverspoon glared at the little pony, because Silverspoon was there too, which I forgot to mention. “Twist,” they said in unison.

Twist gulped. “Oh hi, Silverspoon.”

“Stupid ugly curly-mane pony,” Princess Diamond Tiara said.

Twist scrunched up her face.

Silverspoon circled around to Twist’s other side, so she couldn’t make a quick escape. “Why the silly glasses? What’s wrong with your eyes?!” she asked, without a trace of irony.

Twist looked at her blankly.

“White fur? White isn’t even a real colour! It’s like they forgot to colour you in!” Princess Diamond Tiara said with a sneer.

A single tear rolled down Twist’s cheek.

“Crying now?” Silverspoon taunted. “Gonna run home to mummy?”

“She can’t!” Princess Diamond Tiara corrected. “Both her parents are dead!”

Twist burst into tears.

“Come on, Silverspoon, let’s get out of here and leave this cry-baby loser!” With that, Princess Diamond Tiara led Silverspoon away.

Twist sat on the ground, openly weeping.

Appleblume approached her. “I… I saw what happened… are you okay?”

Twist looked up at her and smiled broadly. “I… I can’t believe… a princess took time out of her busy day to talk to me!” She wiped away her tears of joy.

“Ikr?” said Appleblume.

“She’s so awesome,” Twist said. And Appleblume agreed.