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I Don't Like Sundays

by heptaPon

Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Elimination Game

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Chapter 1 - Elimination Game

Canterlot blew up. The entire city, overnight.

The explosion wasn't exactly news to me when I first heard about it. Okay, maybe the details were. But I had suspected something along the lines. My Pinkie Sense rarely left me in the dark about huge impending events like this one. I just couldn't tell exactly what the strange combination of signs meant, right away. Interpreting them is usually super simple, but only if they tell me about something familiar...something that happened before. Not this time, however.

First of all, one might ask about what in Equestria is a Pinkie Sense. Boy, how do I explain that? Let's say I'm involuntarily psychic. My body parts drop me a warning for some sort of event, moments before it happens. Different events mean different signs, simple. Sometimes, when my body runs out of ideas, there's even a combination of several, simpler ones. I call those combos. Adds a little exotic feeling to the whole thing.

What I experienced that morning was also a combo, but a completely new one. It started off with nothing out of the ordinary.  One knee shake followed by two ear flops didn't exactly surprise me. I've seen better, actually. What got me startled were my lips unconsciously forming the words 'Bloody Sunday', afterwards. I had no idea what it meant, but it definitely hadn't happened before. I instantly got a bad feeling from it, as I tend to do from any sixth sense signal that's impossible to interpret.

The part about Sundays didn't particularly catch my attention. After all, you call just about every day in Ponyville a sun-day, since there would always be the sun, and a day. Except for those with the cloudy weather, or even rain. I never really liked those.

Now bloody, that's a strong word. One with a very negative and non-fun touch to itself. My Pinkie Sense warning me about bloody events could only mean something bad was about to happen. Or already happening. Or it already did happen. Or somepony from Trottingham used it as a swear word. In that case whatever had happened wouldn't be so bad, just some everyday shenanigans.

That line of thought barely got me anywhere, though. After all, I was the one who said those words, even if I didn't pronounce them out loud. And I'm not from Trottingham. I don't even like tea. That's what made the entire matter so unsettling as a whole.

I found out about the details some twenty minutes later. It probably really was twenty minutes. The clock said so, but I don't trust these things. Growing up on a rock farm, the only useful tool of measuring time are the directions thrown by shadows...of rocks. If you want to learn more about rock shadows, ask Maud someday. She'd be thrilled to tell you all about them. And the best part is, she can easily get it across in a way that's simple enough to understand. It's not rock science, really. Or wait...scratch that, it is.

Anyway, I suppose it was about twenty minutes. Or so I was told. Yes, exactly. I was told it was twenty minutes...by the clock. That's probably a good way to say it.

I was standing behind the main counter at my workplace, a cafe named Sugarcube Corner. What I presumed to be the first lights of the sun started to break through the windows from the outside. They made me look forward to a warm, cheerful day in early spring. Turns out my expectations wouldn't exactly be matched. And I would grow very disappointed, very soon.

At this time in the morning however, I had a fairly easy task to perform. It mainly consisted of preparing and baking enough treats to get our business through the day. My routine started like this almost every day, and I couldn't possibly ask for more. This might be something relative to perspective, but to me, it was the best job in the whole wide world.

It only then happened, that all of a sudden, and right into my cheerful workload, the front door burst open with some impressive impact. The noise it made smashing into the wall beside it ultimately cut short the time for my morning routine, and flung me right into the chaos that lay beyond. Figuratively, silly. They didn't actually throw me anywhere.

In a heave of panic, Princess Twilight Sparkle came rushing through the entrance. Yes, a princess. In a bakery. Nothing strange about that, don't you think? She's just an old friend of mine, is all. And by friend, I mean friend-friend. After all, everypony in town is my friend. But there's a small number of mares, whom I value much more than that, and she's well among them. They're not only my friends, but my super-best friends. The kind of ponies I'd gladly support to go out there, and save the world, any day. And occasionally, that's what we actually did. Those bonds between us reached several stages higher than a standard friend, and way higher than a casual accomplice. I would tell you more about the rating system I use to keep my long list of friends in order, but I'm afraid I couldn't let myself do that (It's a secret!).

Today however, she didn't just come here for a friendly chat of sorts. Something had gone horribly wrong, I could tell. How was that? Well, at this time in the morning, Twilight never went anywhere out into town or beyond. So her presence alone made my ears perk up. She never leaves her library without thoroughly reorganizing it every morning. And you rarely need cake or muffins for that. I'm not an expert on libraries, but that much I can tell you. I also noticed another sign of her discomfort: Her eyes were deeply bloodshot, and surrounded by dark rings. Part of them was covered with single strains from her terribly disheveled mane. Maybe I should have noted that first? Oh well.

“Hiya, Twilight,” I noted nevertheless, showing off my casual grin. “You're up early.”

The purple alicorn mare was panting heavily, as she dragged her hooves across the cafe's doorstep. From the clear levels of her exhaustion, I presumed she'd hardly slept all night. Wouldn't be the first time, but not a comforting sign, either.

To be honest, I'd been a little sleepy myself that morning. I handled tiredness with a lot more ease than her, however. And maybe a teensy bit of caffeine. When Twilight first showed up, I'd already gone around up and running for an hour or so (the clock told me, but...you know), preparing Sugarcube Corner for the day's business.

Whatever it was she put out between her breaths came along harshly distorted, and was all but easy for me to make out. Something along the lines “No time to explain...awful disaster...emergency meeting...library...ten minutes,” I think. She didn't exactly leave any time for me to respond to it, either. Right after having finished, she rushed back out the door without anything further to say. I kept looking at the deserted entrance for another few moments, one eyebrow raised, eyes narrowed, and - overall - awfully confused.

I took a while until deciding that this had somehow become Twilight's new way of greeting, and inviting me over in the process. Something like that. With a shrug, I turned around, and quickly went back to work. If I had to be at the library in ten minutes, Sugarcube Corner should be fully prepared by then. With some luck, we would finish off whatever catastrophe she meant within half an hour or so. Because if we did, I would still be back in time to open the cafe up for business.

Whatever, no time for thinking, now. I still wasn't done baking, and these cupcakes wouldn't finish themselves. By the way, did I mention that cupcakes taste amazing? Because they do. They're to die for, honestly.


Presumably less than ten minutes later (I hastily counted to six-hundred, should be good enough), I rushed out the door. I started galloping down the street with my bestest of determination. Twilight's place was only a few blocks away, so I should easily be able to make it within whatever amount of time hadn't passed from the given frame, yet. Always assuming I didn't run into anything or anyone on the way, who or which could slow me down.

I did, of course.

Turning around the first corner, my gaze unexpectedly met a pair of terrified eyes, looking my way. There was an equally horrified pony attached to them. Her overall face reminded me of Twilight's earlier expression. One of those faces you only see when something really, really bad has happened. I guess that wasn't even news to me, anymore. Even though I still hadn't heard about what exactly there was to hear about. It seemed like everypony else in town knew something I didn't. Was I actually running that late on things? Wow.

I obviously didn't need to have others know about how little I knew of knowing what they knew...and all that, I knowingly thought to myself. Whatever horror had confronted them last night, whatever disaster struck our great nation in the very heart of its amiable spirit, it didn't matter to me in that particular moment. Nope, I was gonna play this cool. Pinkie Pie style.

"Morning, Bonnie. And happy birthday, a week from today!"

The beige-coated earth pony mare gave me a look of sheer disbelief. While she always did that on seeing me, it wasn't exactly the kind of reaction I had hoped for. On the contrary, it only made me grow even more frustrated. Yes, that's right. Frustrated. Me. Wasn't there anypony up for some smiles this morning?

"Pinkie, what are you talking about, haven't you heard what's going on? I've only gotten across rumors myself, but you should have seen Lyra this morning, she..."

"Don't worry," I said, interrupting her with a giggle. "There's only been an awful disaster, and I have to go to an emergency meeting in the library, which is set to begin ten minutes from less than ten minutes ago. At least that's what Twilight Sparkle told me. There was no time to explain, so I don't know a whole lot more, just yet."

Bon Bon stared at me as if I had lost my mind, like she always did. Even though I hadn't, obviously. Why anypony would think that remained an enigma to me, forever. Surely, everyone would spent some of their spare time talking to a bag of flour, right? And right now, I only repeated everything Twilight told me earlier. I did a pretty good job at it, as well. Nothing wrong with that.

"Oh, well...I won't stop you, then," she eventually replied, hesitantly, after blinking at me a few times. I thanked the mare, and bade her goodbye, with my best wishes for her upbeat roommate. Then, I immediately started off, bouncing up and down the street towards the library. All the way, I was humming a cheerful tune to myself, though I can't remember which one it was. I suppose my mind was wandering about elsewhere, thinking about what might have gone wrong with Lyra. She was nice, only a little unpredictable at times.

Not exactly crazy by most standards, though. I've seen a lot of strange ponies in my time, most of whom Lyra doesn't even come close to. You wouldn't believe me if I told you about all the kinds of weirdos out there, in the world.

I snapped out of my thoughts, as I turned another corner, and the Golden Oak Library appeared in front of me. For some reason, the sight reminded me how I failed to wrap up my given task earlier. To be fair, finishing off the baking for a whole day in that time span is physically impossible. Good thing Mr Cake came downstairs in time. He reminded me that he and his wife might as well get the job done on their own. I could've just asked them, actually. Silly me.

While I counted the seconds at the cafe, I might have been a little too quick about it. Twilight hadn't come back yet, and she's always on time. And when I say always, I really mean it. Her scheduling is even more precise than the time on a clock. Plus, she's the one whom I trust a lot more, for obvious reasons.

Right now however, she was still out, like I said. The only pony I met inside Golden Oak was Rainbow Dash. She's one of my other super-best friends, by the way. And also the only pegasus in Equestria, who ever pulled off a sonic rainboom. It didn't help our situation or anything at the time, but still is an impressive stunt.

As I made my entrance through the front door (Dull, I know. But even I do that sometimes.), she turned towards me, eyes wide. The thing that happened to Twilight and Bon Bon must have also affected her in some way. I really hoped this whole emergency wouldn't take too long. I'd hate to let the Cakes down.

“Morning, Dashie,” I said, greeting her. “You're all pretty glum this morning, aren't you?”

She groaned, as her eyes followed me jumping up and down in enthusiasm. It usually helps ponies lightening up, acting all excited like that. But not today, apparently. “Pinkie Pie...” She sighed. “Didn't you hear what happened?”

“Nope, can't say so.”

This seemed to be a lot more serious than I thought, if even Rainbow Dash acted this way. She was always up for some laughs, pranks, or whatnot. Situations when she didn't must be horribly grim, it even says so in my mental rulebook. And even worse, I had completely failed to comprehend all that until now. No fun.

“Canterlot blew up, that's what happened,” Rainbow told me. “Everypony inside is dead, and no-one knows why. You can't tell me that completely slipped your attention. I mean, somepony must have told you.”

“Of course. You just did, silly. Everything I needed...wait, WHAT?”

I was shocked by her statement the moment it left her mouth, you see. Sometimes it just helps to slip in a small joke in between the lines. Wouldn't be myself if I didn't act a little goofy...right?

As it turned out, Rainbow wouldn't have the time to explain anything to me, either way. Right after my sudden outburst, the door once again swung open behind me. Twilight stood in the door frame, panting heavily (déjà vu?). She looked even more exhausted than before. I didn't even know that was possible.

Twilight didn't seem to mind my ignorance of that fact. Probably because I didn't tell her. She hurriedly burst into the room, looking and nodding at the two of us in turn. Our other friends followed in her hoofsteps: Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy, in that order. I greeted each respectively, but still as quickly as I could. There was no time to lose, after all. That's what she said.

“There's no time to lose,” Twilight repeated, stating the obvious, as soon as the door slid close behind them. It sounded awfully redundant to me, but I decided not to say anything. For now.

“I hope you all know what's going on?”

“Ooh, oh, I don't!” I immediately exclaimed, one forehoof shooting into the air. Just my way of subtly explaining myself. And good enough at that, as long as it gets others' attention.

“Canterlot was destroyed by an explosion,” Twilight replied. She had caught her breath by now, so those words came out a lot easier than before. “Nopony knows why, or who did it. The entire city just went up in smoke, and came tumbling down the mountain. Haven't had a word from the princesses, either.”

She lowered her gaze to the floor, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “You see, I'm afraid...I do fear for the worst.”

We all exchanged some nervous glances. This didn't look like a time for jokes, so I simply joined in. After a moment of silence, it was Applejack who first spoke up, as she stomped one of her hooves onto the floor.

“Shoot. Ah hoped at least these two could've gotten out unharmed...kinda explains, why the sun and moon are up at the same time, though. Y'all noticed that, didn't ya?”

Oh, right...the thing that should not be. I thought something about the weather outside didn't look familiar.

Nopony in the room uttered another word. We were perfectly still, and more than a few felt unable to comprehend what had happened, I could tell. Honestly, I felt at a loss of words, myself. If Celestia and Luna weren't there to deal with some mess, who would? A possible answer to that question started to rise up from the back of my head. And I didn't like it...didn't like it one bit.

“So, uh...what now?”

Our gentle Fluttershy's voice was more a whisper than anything, but at the time, it still seemed to strike the silent room with the impact of a cannonball. She kept looking at the floor while speaking, one hoof carefully scratching over the wooden planks. Even now, her eyes averted those of Twilight, or any of us, for that matter.

“Well,” Twilight told her with a heavy exhale. She sounded extremely tired, all of a sudden. “We have to assume a worst case scenario. Meaning the princesses didn't...didn't make it.”

Her eyes went all watery once more, or whatever you call that. My vocabulary isn't made for sadness. It didn't take long, until a first tear started rushing down my friend's cheek. This didn't make anything any better. Wasn't Twilight usually the one, who'd come up with a solution out of nowhere? I sure did hope she would, this time.

Instead, she kept sobbing, and interrupted her narrative. My initial reflex told me to jump over, and squeeze her in a tight hug. Maybe knowing about her friends still being here would make some of her worries go away. But I wasn't the only pony in the room who must have had that idea. And Rarity just so happened to be quicker than me. She pulled Twilight in a close embrace, one forehoof gently caressing the alicorn's back.

I admit, though being a cheerful pony most of the time, it really hurts to see my friends like this. I don't show much of these unhappy emotions, mostly. I don't want ponies to think of myself as depressed. But that doesn't mean I can't feel like that, sometimes. When Twilight looked as desperate as she did in that moment, it felt like an icy sting right through my chest. I had to force myself not to cry. If the bearer of the element of laughter did that, what more hope would there be?

Bearing the element of laughter is a fun position to be in, most days. Whenever somepony feels glum for some reason that can easily be fixed, I'm usually the mare to call. Because on most days, a little laughter and a few smiles can quickly show the world to them from a much more fortunate angle. But there would also come days, which didn't just seem unhappy, they really did feel depressing to everyone. Days, on which you couldn't get ponies to smile for you, because they simply didn't want to. And that's when the bringer of joy and laughter feels utterly useless and alone, all of a sudden.

At times like this, I sometimes just like to stare ahead. Sit still and hope it all blows over. There really isn't anything else for me to do. Believe it or not, despite my somewhat extrovert nature, I can become a very quiet and reasonable pony if need be. Which didn't mean I wouldn't feel completely miserable about it. But I do so for the best of my friends...and I suppose that's more than enough reason to hate yourself at times.

And this was one of them.

When Twilight slipped from Rarity's forearms, the two gave each other a considerate, generous smile that warmed me up on the inside. Without a second's notice, the white unicorn had given her friend exactly what she needed, for nothing else but make Twilight feel better about herself. And like any true friend, Rarity would never ask for anything in return, I knew that. She considered any of the little gifts she regularly gave away for granted, no matter if they were physical or emotional. I guess that's what really makes her such an amazing friend to have.

It took us all a little longer to take all that in, but Twilight was - aside from emotionally scarred - also willing to hurry on with the matter. She cleared her throat, and regained all of her full composure. Despite her earlier fragility, I could still see the spirit of a true princess in her wake.

Not because of my Pinkie Sense, silly. Sometimes you just notice these kind of things without having to use supernatural powers you can't control. Anypony would.

"I already got word from Princess Cadance and my brother," Twilight resumed. "She won't be able to leave the Crystal Empire for time being. Her explanation was a little vague on the details, but it seems they're having enough of a hard time up there, themselves. Without anyone in the capital to rely on, managing an entire empire will be even messier than before..." She trailed off for a second, her eyes wandering over each of us. All the while, I kept thinking of a way to cheer my friends up, but nothing useful would come to me. Of course my expertise would leave me when I needed it most. Typical.

"Anyhow, as the princess of friendship, this whole chain of events would leave me the highest in command, as far as most of Equestria is concerned." She interrupted herself for a frown. Not one of those desperately sad ones I usually deal with. This was more of an expression of becoming frustrated from something. Probably all the work and responsibility that would be loaded on her, soon enough.

Did that mean some of it could also become transferred to me? Yikes...no fun at all.

"As you all probably realize, this means a whole lot of new tasks and responsibilities for myself. I will have to lead Equestria through this time of crisis. And being the element bearers, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you for your support with the best efforts."

Well, there you have it. Not gonna say it out loud, but...told you so.

"I can count on you," Twilight asked, turning to each of us. "Right?"

"Are you kidding?" was the immediate answer, as a cyan something rushed through the air, right past me. I guess it shouldn't surprise me. Loyalty...just comes natural.

"We're not gonna let you hangin'," Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "Especially not now."

Her voice brought some excitement and optimism back into the room. While I simply cherished the change in atmosphere as long as I could, it didn't take long for our other friends to add their bits and pieces.

"Second that, sugarcube."

"Why...of course."

"We could hardly consider ourselves your friends otherwise, darling."

And then (what else?) all eyes suddenly rested on me. Yours truly hadn't contributed as much as usual to the conversation. Something I realized only now. It hadn't gone as unnoticed by the others, obviously.

"I say we go out there, and give it the super-duper best we can manage," I answered them without much thinking. "Wee...hee?"

Several pairs of eyes were rolled at me, and I could tell I'd done it again. Like I said, while I could handle mandatory seriousness, it never brought itself into the list of my top qualities. But nopony else commented on my words, so there probably weren't too far off. I gave my friends the best shot at a smile I could manage right now, hoping for somepony else to speak up soon. I could already feel the sweat forming on my brow. Too much attention when I didn't need it. Yay.

"So, uh...what's the plan? You tend to have the high ground when it comes to planning ahead, Twilight," Rainbow Dash asked. She was hovering in the air, several feet above the rest of us.

Twilight again cleared her throat before she resumed speaking. "I guess it all comes down to getting to Canterlot. It's where they need us most right now. The six of us, as well as any other kind of help. The train tracks are currently disrupted, obviously, but I've gotten in contact with the southern earth pony towns. They're sending over some emergency transports, soon. Towards the foot of the mountain at least. We could hitch a ride on one of those. All things considered, we're in for a long trip, but I think it still is the quickest way possible."

"Ooh, waitwaitwait, today?" I burst out. I couldn't help myself, honestly. Sometimes, I just say something first, then do the thinking part afterwards.

"Yes, today," Twilight replied, turning her gaze towards me. "In all honesty, I'd like to get there as fast as five minutes ago..."

I first wanted to tell her that maybe I could manage that, given I'd take in enough of the right substances, beforehand. There where at least a dozen possibilities coming up in my head. But I ultimately decided not to mind them, and keep my mouth shut. Which was probably for the best.

"...but anyways. There is no time to lose. If you're all going to help me out, you need to get your affairs in order. Do what you must, and meet me here as soon as you're finished. The first train passes by in about an hour, so we'll take that one. And we will be gone for a few days. Maybe more, maybe less. I can't tell, yet. So make sure everypony who needs to know about our absence, does. I'll meet you back here in thirty minutes maximum. Everypony clear?"

She put her hoof down, putting some extra emphasis on those last words of hers. It was all the command we needed. With a simple nod, Rainbow turned herself around mid-air, then dashed through the front entrance in the wake of a rainbow trail. I guess that's where her name comes from, don't you think? Anyway...

The other four of us quickly followed her outside. Within another few seconds, we spread out all across town, getting ready. As I raced back the way I had come, I could already imagine the Cakes wouldn't like what I had to tell them. But then again, neither did I.


I don't know what exactly I had expected. Disagreement? Empathy? Maybe. I returned to Sugarcube Corner to collect all the goods I needed (and my party cannon, just in case...none of this looked like there would be much partying going on anytime soon, but I needed to be prepared, nevertheless). I told Mr and Mrs Cake all about Twilight's plan, but neither of them had to say very much about it. The news about Canterlot had shocked them as much as everypony else. Which made sense.

I apologized times and again, for my going to be unable to help them out anytime soon. I didn't think it would do, but they told me it did. More than anything.

They also let me know I should do my best, and they simply had to manage on their own for a while. Just pretend it was for nothing but old times' sake. After all, I had been around for a while, but not exactly forever. And though I understood they might even appreciate a little time for themselves, I still hated myself for letting them alone with all their work and the foals, on top of it all. But I didn't have a choice.

And I couldn't take Pound and Pumpkin with me either. I mean, I could, but it wasn't a very good plan. Sure, the idea seemed fun in my head. On the other hoof, so did cloning myself in the mirror pond. And we all know where that got us.

From the two bakers' faces, as well as those of everypony else I had met today, I could tell my absence was the least of their worries. A national disaster leading towards an uncertain, possibly dark future could do that to you.

Gee. So far, the entire day had been nothing but a horrible mess. And I felt like it was only getting started. Maybe I should've just stayed in bed this morning. Next Chapter: Chapter 2 - Recycling Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 53 Minutes

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