Alex brushed off the early morning chill, his movements giving the cold no purchase in his limbs. He’d have to start wearing heavier clothes over his exercise ‘outfit’, preferably soon. However, for today, just a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra was enough.

“You okay there, kid? You’re breathing heavier than Twilight when she sees a new encyclopedia.” Rainbow Dash playfully teased from ahead of him. Her muzzle was stretched in a smirk as she trotted backwards with seemingly zero effort to ‘look’ back at him and watch him carefully. “It’s your first real run with me, wouldn’t be good if you passed out ‘cause I overworked you.”

“I’m fine, Dash. Just not used to running is all,” Alex assured. “Also, good to know ponies here can walk backwards. Horses couldn’t do that back home.”

“It’s amazing what you can learn to do from being around Pinkie. When she gets into one of her ‘I want to be up in your face’ moods you learn to back up quick.” Rainbow trotted back a couple more steps before flapping her wings and turning herself around with a tiny jump and a bit of a twist. “Especially when you’ve just tossed a pie aside or something because you’re not in the mood for a treat.”

“The good news is, I’m way more healthy than I was before.” His face flushed as a rather unflattering image of his former self came to mind. “Which is good. No one’s doctor should be giving someone advice they themselves don’t follow.”

“I can see that if it’s a general health thing. I know I definitely listen to my doctor about fertility stuff even if I plan on ignoring all of that for as long as possible while I train for the Wonderbolts and hopefully stick with them for a long time. Doesn’t matter if she’s on her fifth foal, you know?”

Shrugging his shoulder, Alex grunted. “Not planning on being a mom soon eh? I can get behind that.”

“You were only planning on being a dad at some point, right? I’m sure somepony will find a way to fix that for you, Alex, though I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want the extra wind resistance myself.”

Alex thought for a moment about what she meant and then blushed and groaned at the same time. “Why would you make me think of that, Skittles?”

“Think of what? All I did was mention aerodynamics.” Rainbow’s voice had a tone that was just a little too innocent to be sincere. “Not my fault you’re repressed.”

“He’s a child, Dash, and I’m still not comfortable about my body.” Alex huffed and pushed himself just a little harder to move faster. “It’s not repression when things just feel wrong.”

Dash tsked, her mane swaying to and fro. “You confuse the Tartarus out of me, Alex. The most mind-boggling filly I know.”

“Not my fault your world hasn’t had any transgender people to deal with before. My mind’s still male, except for the parts swimming in estrogen, despite my body being female.” Alex responded without giving it any thought. “I’m more like a colt no matter what your pony senses tell you.”

“Right, because every colt takes their colt friend to a big formal dance in front of a bunch of nobles, while wearing one of the most intricate dresses I’ve seen Rarity make without gems… keep telling yourself you’re a colt.”

Annoyance bubbled up in Alex’s chest, a feeling he relished for a moment before stepping on it. It wasn’t Dash’s fault if she didn’t get it. She could even have been right. Whether she was or not, Alex didn’t know. And that’s what bothered him the most.

“Come on, no time to stagger. I gotta get you home before I can continue my run, and tomorrow we bring you out just a little further. You can handle up to two miles a day without it hurting yourself, right? I want to try and work past that.”

“Yeah... I can do that. I think.” Frowning, Alex ran medical facts through his mind, trying to sift through the noise. “That’s a big maybe. I wasn’t going to be a pediatrician.”

“Well, we’re just looking to raise your endurance, so we go as far a round trip as you managed on the treadmill before needing a long rest, then we push a little harder on it the next time, going a little further. If humans work the same way ponies do on at least some level, that should be fine. Just no weights or heavy lifting.”

The rest of the run was quiet, only the sound of nature and his own huffing and puffing reaching Alex’s ears. When his home came into view, he almost shouted in joy. He settled for a smile, slowing his jog into a walk.

“Have to wind down,” he explained, wiping at his forehead.

“That’s fine. We’re within sight of your home anyways and I’m pretty sure the only monster that’s going to do anything to you this close is that bug-bear you helped last week. Thing still gives me the creeps.”

“Winnie is a sweetheart,” Alex argued, stopping at the gate. “She just takes to people that smell like chaos better than others.”

“Uhhhh, did Fluttershy have plans to do a late-fall version of spring cleaning? Looks like she’s got half the furniture outside.” Rainbow extended a wing and indicated the state of the yard immediately outside the house, then flapped both wings and flew backwards a few body lengths as the upper front window stretched and spit out a bed large enough to hold three ponies comfortably. “O-kay, yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow for another short run, then you get a day off before we extend it. Seeyalater!”

“Uh... okay?” Alex turned, following Dash’s path as she bolted from the yard. “Well that was... weird...” Shrugging it off as another pony quirk, of which he had a list of, he moved into the cottage. “Hey, Shy! I’m back!”

“Oh, Alex, I forgot you were coming back after your run.” Fluttershy was in the middle of mopping the kitchen floor, having tucked the mop under one wing as Alex walked through the door. “Um, shoot, your lunch...breakfast too. Do you think you could grab a few bits and just pick a couple things out at sugarcube corner? I got a letter from my parents and Discord and I need to get this house as clean as possible.”

“Sure?” Looking around the room, he took in just how upended the front room had become. “Did Twilight pass her OCD onto you? Or are your parents just clean freaks?”

“Oh, um, no. They’re a lot like me in some ways, but I don’t want the house smelling the way it does right now. It’s going to be hard enough dealing with how they’re going to react to the whole bat thing without them being able to smell Discord and me all over everything.”

“Are you not introducing him to them?” Alex questioned, standing at the top of the stairs. “Or did you guys have fun all over the cottage and ponies can smell that stuff long after the fact?”

“Oh, there’s no way they aren’t going to meet him, it’s just that I don’t know what they’d think if they knew just how...active we got at times. I mean, we do make sure it can’t wake you up, but...”

“You’re an adult mare with a healthy appetite and an attentive boyfriend. As long as you’re being responsible, why should anything else matter?”

Fluttershy scrunched her muzzle up, thinking on his words. “I know that, but I just want everything to be perfect. Why don’t you go get showered and I’ll have those bits ready when you come down?” A beat passed before she added. “And um, I know you like privacy but, would you mind if we tidied up your room? Just in case you let them see it. If that’s not too much trouble.”

Alex thought for a few seconds, then nodded. “Sounds like a plan to me. I’ll just make sure not to perform any satanic rituals tonight.”

A smile overtook her features and Fluttershy graced him with a breezy giggle. “Go on now. They’ll be here by noon and everything has to be just perfect!”

“Noon tomorrow, right? I wouldn’t want to miss them just because I’m at school.”

“...Noon today,” Came Fluttershy’s response. “The mail came late and now we have to get everything ready last minute.”

“And I’m guessing Discord’s going to be doing some stuff that neither of you want me around in case it does crazy things. Got it. I’ll get showered quick and then I’ll be out of your hair.” Giving Fluttershy a thumbs up, Alex finished ascending the stairs.

His mind buzzed with possible forms his adopted grandparents would take. He almost settled on a clone and an opposite gendered clone of his mother but discarded it quickly. As silly as Equestria was with its genetics, he doubted it would be that blatant.

“So, I got a letter today before leaving for school, Alex, and I think it means we’re not going to be able to hang out together after school for a while.” Snails’ voice was slow, as usual, but he sounded a little excited despite the words he’d just said. “It said that Princess Twilight wanted to help teach me more about magic so I could use it better.”

“Hey, that’s pretty damn cool!” Alex reached over, scratching Snails’ ears. “I told you, you were good with magic.”

“Er, uh, actually it’s about teaching me more about the basics because of what I’ve done recently. Part of it’s because of the spell I did at the gala, but part’s also because of what I did to Diamond Tiara. There was something about control and fundamentals, but it’ll mean she won’t be able to make fun of me anymore.”

Alex rolled his eyes. Snails was a great friend, but he had a nasty habit of ignoring his own talents. “We have enough self deprecation with me around. You’re being tutored by a princess, that’s huge!”

“Well, yeah, but I just mean it’s not all for good things…” Snails stared for a moment as he realized that Alex only had a couple baked goods for lunch instead of the usual carefully-prepared meal. “Did Fluttershy forget to buy groceries or something?”

“Oh uh, her parents are visiting and she’s on a cleaning frenzy,” Alex explained, taking a bite out of a cupcake. “So, I got some bits for breakfast and lunch.”

“Oh, I know how that can be. My mom likes to clean everything real good once a month except in winter. She usually does it during the day though. I guess she didn’t get much warning.”

“Nope.” Alex pushed another cupcake over to Snails. “Have some of these. I bought a few too many.”

“More like Pinkie gave you more than you paid for if these are from where I think they’re from.” Snails smiled as he carefully lifted the cupcake up and gave it a good sniff. “Yeah, definitely Pinkie, because only she would know to make any without hay in case you stopped by.”

“She’s a good baker.” Tossing the rest of his cupcake into his mouth, Alex licked icing off his lips. “Still, I’m glad you’re getting magic lessons. You’re pretty good at it, better at it than me.”

“Well, yeah, I should be better at it.” Snails’ face fell as he realized what he said, and he quickly shook his head. “Sorry, you keep telling me to stop beating myself up over it and I just did it again.”

“Yeah, well, old habits die hard. You work on it and we’ll see how you feel about yourself in a month or so, right?”

“Yeah, and if I get better with magic I won’t accidentally squish bugs so often when I try to move them, or when I collect shed exoskeletons.” Snails smiled before gobbling up the cupcake in front of him as if he’d never had one before. “I’d been making some progress with that for the few strange bugs I find.”

“Strange how?” Alex questioned, giving him a curious look.

“Oh, just a different color ant or a spider with a star on its back, nothing real freaky or anything.” Snails licked a bit of frosting that had stuck to his muzzle. “Or cicada shells, those are always neat with different colors.”

“Ah, good ole’ cicada’s. Natures time bomb.” Nodding his head, Alex gave Snails a smile. “You should show me sometime, bugs are pretty cool.”

“Oh, uh, maybe you can help me pick the best ones for my science display this year? Last year I had a few that even Miss Cheerilee could barely tell apart.”

Spending more time with Snails was never a bad thing. It gave him a reason to avoid getting knocked around by a bunch of nobodies. Anything was better than listening to Ahuizotl’s cat puns.

Packing up the rest of his lunch, Alex pat Snails’ head. “Alright, I have to get going. Fluttershy’s parents are stopping by today and I don’t wanna be late.”

“You’re leaving early?” Snails couldn’t neep the hint of disappointment out of his voice as Alex stood up.

“Well, yeah. For one I want to make a good impression with them, and the afternoon lesson plan today switched out the history lesson for a visit to Sweet Apple Acres in order to demonstrate how earth pony magic works. If the visit is short I’ll just use the extra time to study for tomorrow’s test.” He looked around briefly before taking a couple steps around the table to give Snails a quick hug.

Hugging him back, Snails nodded. “I hope you have fun with your grandparents.” Pulling back, he smiled. “I bet they’ll love you.”

“Hey Alex, hold up!” Rainbow’s voice called out to Alex as he approached the bridge over the tiny brook near home, and he turned just in time to duck as Rainbow came in for a hard landing on the path, with one of her wings clipping his arm. “You didn’t mention you were skipping the afternoon at school.”

“I only have to be there for the classes I need,” Alex replied, raising back up. “I usually stay just to spend more time with Snips and Snails.”

“Okay, fair point, and school’s kinda boring anyways when it’s about stuff you aren’t interested in.” She paused and shook her head quickly. “Who am I kidding, even stuff I am interested in is boring when it’s not a hooves-on kinda thing. Anyways, I need to cancel our next few exercise sessions. Twilight’s crystal harmony map did the whole plot-vibration-magic thing and Pinkie and I are being sent to Griffonstone. No pushing yourself while I’m gone, and no running on the same trails. Go to the gym and do a couple miles on a treadmill and that’s it if you feel like you want to run, got it?”

“Yeah I got it. How long you think you’re gonna be gone for?”

“Hopefully no more than a few days, including travel time. The main reason I’m even stopping at home is to make sure I bring a few things I know I can eat in case Pinkie forgets to bring anything to bake with. Griffon cuisine doesn’t sit well for me.”

Alex thought for a moment. “Wait, how do you kno-”

“I used to be friends with a griffon back when I was a filly and she dared me to take a bite out of her lunch one day at Junior Speedsters Flight Camp. I ended up puking my guts out for half of the night. Anyways, you stay safe and we’ll start right back up the day after I get back, okay?”

“Huh... Well uh... have a good time, I guess?” Alex offered, waving to her as Dash zipped out of sight.

Sucking in a breath, Alex walked up to the door to his home. ‘It’s just some more ponies. They’re family right? You like family now.’ Grasping the door knob, he turned it gingerly before pushing open the door. “Hey, Fluttershy! I’m home!”

The sight that greeted him was one that left him a little confused at first, with three unknown ponies and a small pile of boxes near Fluttershy’s couch while Discord was in the middle of doing something to some clothes in the air in front of him. One article in particular looked like an ugly mixed thing with a misshapen dress on the left side, and the right side somehow having a perfectly normal-looking blue jeans leg and what looked like a simple cotton shirt that were still attached at the waist.

“Oh dear...we weren’t expecting you to be home yet.”

“He’s even more adorable than the photo.” The mare, who had a very similar coloration to Fluttershy said, her voice almost as quiet as Fluttershy normally was around the more skittish animals. Her coat was yellow, but her mane and tail were a darker red than Fluttershy’s bright pink.

“Uh... hi?” Alex asked, looking at the floating pair of jeans.

“Well hi there little niecephew! See what I did there, since you’re some cool kinda mix of the two?” The younger viridian stallion, with a yellow mane and, somehow, beard stubble, walked up to Alex with a smile. “My big sis here told us so much about you. My name’s Zephyr Breeze and I am so happy to be your uncle, especially since I hear you’re training with Rainbow Dash. Tell me, how much has she gushed about my good looks?”

Alex merely stared at the stallion in front of him, his mouth flapping open a few times. It took a moment before his brain worked past the blockage and words poured from his mouth. “She hasn’t mentioned you?”

“Aw, I bet she just doesn’t wanna talk about her feelings to a kid.” Zephyr walked around Alex once before moving back over to the couch. “Pity your mane’s so short. Not many ponies have black manes and I’ve been wanting to see what accents work best with it.”

“Zephyr, we talked about this earlier. Alex isn’t going to just put up with you doing stuff to his hair randomly like you do with my mane sometimes.” Fluttershy snapped, actually sounding irritated for once.

“Oh I remember, sis. It’s just a shame there’s not really anything to work with in the first place is all I’m sayin’.”

Discord sighed and sent the bulk of the clothes that had been floating around him back up to Alex’s room, followed by finishing off the work in progress on the garment that had been changing when Alex opened the door. The top separated from the bottom, and the dress soon finished changing into something that would both fit and be comfortable for Alex, before they dropped to the top of the coffee table. “I enjoy a bit of confusion as much as the next being, but maybe Alex should be introduced to all of you properly before he has to reboot himself again?”

The mare giggled, stepping closer to Alex and giving him a smile whose sweetness rivaled that of Fluttershy’s own. “I’m Mimosa Pudica, but you can call me ‘Pudding’ if you don’t feel comfortable calling me ‘grandma’ yet, okay?”

“Pudding?” Alex questioned, kneeling down to her level. “How’d you get a nickname like that?”

“Because she’s sweet and children love her.” The older stallion stepped forward with a soft chuckle. “She used to babysit for the neighbors before we had Fluttershy, used to call her ‘pudding cup.’”

“This is my husband, Cirrostratus,” Mimosa introduced, putting a wing over the stallion’s back. “We’re so happy to meet you! I don’t know why Flutters didn’t tell us sooner!”

“I was working up to it, but things have been hectic for the last month getting adjusted to having Alex around and, well, everything else that’s been going on. Discord and I have been working out how we were going to explain everything to you too.”

“He’s not exactly the kind of stallion I expected for a son-in-law, but you always have been adventurous, dear.” Cirrostratus commented as he sent a loving smile over in her direction.

“As long as he makes you happy, we’re happy.” Mimosa stepped away from her husband and closer to Alex. “Is it alright to hug you, deary?”

“Uh, yeah, sure. Just no hooves on my chest and it’s all good.” Alex nodded after a second of thought and held his arms open.

‘I just want to make sure you’re okay with touching.” Closing the small distance, Mimosa wrapped her wings and arms around Alex. “Welcome to the family, Alex.”

Cirrostratus joined the hug a couple seconds later, adding just a little extra pressure before backing away and moving over to Fluttershy’s side. “And hopefully you’ll have some younger siblings soon.”

Fluttershy blushed and glared at her father for a second. “Dad, please don’t try and rush things. Discord and I haven’t even talked about that step yet, and we’re still just dating for the time being.”

“You can hardly blame me, dear. You did take this long just to find your first coltfriend.”

Discord scooped Fluttershy up, holding her like a cat and eliciting a cute squeak from her. “We’ll be taking things as fast as ‘Shy likes. We have all the time in the world to make that decision.”

“So, uh...what’s up with the clothes?” Alex asked while looking over Mimosa’s shoulder and just taking in the fact that at least two of these new ponies seemed to be relatively normal.

“Oh, um, well...we saw your picture in the paper, one taken at the Gala, and we bought some gifts before finding out about you being more of a colt than a filly.” The mare hugging him responded quickly before finally letting him go. “First grandchild must be spoiled after all.”

“You don’t have to spoil me.” Alex blushed, rubbing his neck. It was more than a little embarrassing. He had never been spoiled before, even when his mother had been healthy. “I mean that, really.”

“Oh it’s not like this is going to happen all the time, dear. Think of it as a birthday gift, or an adoption party. We might have a couple other things to give you as we come across them, and we’ll come down for Hearthswarming of course, but we’re not rich or anything.”

Zephyr wrapped an arm around Alex, running a hoof through his hair. “I was gonna give you a mane styling but, short mane and all.”

“Humans don’t have manes. That’s just my hair, and I like it the way it is, thanks.” Alex tried to step away from Zephyr, and then bushed at his foreleg. “And, could you not? Your mother at least asked about hugging me.”

“Ah come on! I just wanna get to know my sister’s foal some!” Jumping away, Zephyr struck a pose. “Doing some uncle-niechew bonding!”

Alex felt his eye twitch and he took a deep breath. “Just nephew is fine, please, I don’t want or need any kind of special words being made up for who I am. I tolerate the ‘Mister Sister’ thing from Screwball because it’s just the way she does things, but you’re clearly not mentally unstable.”

“Alright, nephew.” Smiling in a way he hoped was endearing, Zephyr poked Alex’s side. “I know all sorts of stuff I could teach you! Wood shop, hoofcare, haybachi cooking, how to preen...wait, no feathers. Nevermind that one.”

“Zephyr, could you maybe not be quite so enthusiastic until he gets a little more used to you?” Fluttershy spoke up. “You know how you get sometimes about new things, and Alex isn’t a toy, class, or job opportunity.”

“I already backed off, ‘Shy. It’s not like I’m trying to make him feel uncomfortable or anything.” He sighed and looked towards the door. “But, fine, I’ll just go see if I can run into your fine friend and maybe convince her to go for a little flight.”

“Uh.... Dash and Pinkie got map sent to some Griffon place,” Alex said, watching as Zephyr slicked back his hair. “They’ll probably be gone for a few days.”

“Oh…” Zephyr paused mid-swipe and frowned. “Well, I guess that means I don’t have a reason to leave for a bit and give you all some space.”

“I’m pretty sure you could make a run to the local Barnyard Bargains for some milk if you wanted to be helpful while ‘giving us some space,’ as you put it.” Discord smiled as he spoke, and caused a pouch of bits to fall to the floor in front of Zephyr with a snap from the fluff at the end of his tail. “Maybe buy something for yourself to wash all the oil out of your mane, since you’re so focused on playing with everyone else’s.”

Zephyr huffed, scooping the bag up. “You’re just envious of my glorious locks. And yes I said envious because jealous is when you think somepony is stealing what’s yours.” With a flick of his tail, Zephyr walked out of the cottage with his muzzle in the air.

Discord rolled his eyes so hard they fell off his face and bounced over to Alex. “Whoops, little help there, Alex? No offense, Fluttershy, but I don’t like your brother.”

With detachment that came from living with a reality warper, Alex scooped up Discord’s eyes. “He’s... different,” Alex said diplomatically, cocking his arm back and launching the eyes back at Discord.

Discord simply opened his mouth and swallowed the incoming orbs, followed by blinking a few times until they reappeared. “Ah, there we go. Thank you, dear boy.”

Both Cirrostratus and Mimosa blinked a few times and shook their heads as they watched the odd antics of Discord, even this minimal degree being something vastly different for them. “Oh my, well...that’s certainly something we haven’t seen before.”

Giggling, Fluttershy hovered up next to Discord’s head and planted a kiss on his cheek. “And that’s why I love him so much. He’s just so... chaotic!”

“So you’re really comfortable with the whole bat stuff that happened, dear? That was something that caught us off-guard in the picture.” Cirrostratus asked in a way that was obviously out of concern rather than comfort. Everything from the expression on his face to the way his hooves shuffled was almost identical to Fluttershy’s own nervous mannerisms.

“The first week was the hardest, and the sun does hurt my eyes now if I forget my sunglasses, but it’s not that different from before. It’s actually a little easier for me to fly now, so there’s been a benefit from it.” Fluttershy lowered herself back down and hugged her father. “So, yes, I am comfortable with it overall.”

Cirrostratus nuzzled Fluttershy’s head, tickling her with the edge of his mustache. “Well, I’m just happy you’re happy. Should we stock up on some mangos for your next visit?”

“Only if you’re planning on eating them too. With Alex not being able to walk on clouds, it may be awhile before I can plan an extended visit. His magic needs to be confirmed stabilized before we can have Twilight cast the cloud-walking spell she knows.”

Coughing slightly, Alex finished his phone out of his pocket. “So uh... anyone wanna take any pictures? I still got plenty of room on this thing.”

Griffonstone was a city of lost glory already as Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie walked down the road that had become its main street as they passed the first few run-down houses. Everywhere either of them looked there were signs of hastily-repaired damage to the buildings or houses being outright abandoned to tip over and collapse against a neighboring building. The only structures that seemed to be even remotely well-maintained were what could only be guard towers or lookout points set at eight places within the city borders. Literally nothing matched the book.

“Yeesh!” Dash took a step back as a balcony collapsed to her right. “What a dump! No wonder Gilda turned into such a bitch.”

“Dashie, even if she was a big meanie-pants when she came to Ponyville, she’s still an old friend of yours!” Pinkie nudged against Dash’s side as she looked around. “No signs. I wonder if there’s a bakery nearby?”

Dash ignored Pinkie’s ramblings, gingerly poking the wreckage of the balcony. “Place needs a new everything. Applejack would have a field day here.”

“Isn’t every day for Applejack a field day?” Pinkie giggled at her own silly joke while looking around. “They don’t look very happy to see us here, Dashie. You don’t think it’s because we’re ponies, do you?”

“Typical stupid pony question.” Pushing a dilapidated cart around a corner, Gilda glared at the pair. “We don’t even like each other. Why would we want to look at your ugly faces?”

“Because we’ve come to help you guys out with the problem you have?” Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes at Gilda before releasing a soft snort through her nostrils. “ So, what happened here? According to a book Twilight had this place is supposed to be a bustling city full of happy griffons. Instead everything looks more run-down than Granny Smith.”

“Maybe we like it like this?” Gilda questioned, casually looking at her claws. “We don’t need to live up to your expectations, pony.”

“What is wrong with you, Gilda? We’re here to help and you’re acting like I insulted your grampa’s cooking, again. And you know he burnt my hayfries intentionally, because he didn’t think you should be friends with a pony in the first place.”

“What’s in the cart?” Pinkie asked the first thing that came to mind as an itch in her right-front frog told her this conversation was going to go very bad if somepony didn’t change the subject fast.

“Griffonstone griffon scones, and an oven to cook more. Being a guard doesn’t pay jack squat, so I have to sell something to get some money and get outta here to somewhere safer.”

“Oooh!” Pinkie squealed, zipping over to Gilda’s side. “I’ve never had a griffon scone before! Can I try one?!”

“Two bits.” Gilda’s response was instant as she turned to unlock the flip-down coverings for the side of her cart. “Get used to hearing that word, too. That advice is the only free thing you’ll get here these days, except breathing.”

Taking the required monetary payment, Pinkie placed them into Gilda’s waiting talons. Her eager smile dropped as an ash grey, misshapen pastry with a twig sticking out of it was handed over in return. “It uh... looks good?”

Gilda spared a moment to glare at Pinkie before looking around to see if any nearby griffons were going to come over. “You already paid, I don’t need your fake approval, or your airheaded opinions.”

Pouting at the pastry, Pinkie debated actually eating it. “Well, you know that I’m a baker. Maybe we could look at your recipe together and make it more... flavorful?”

“Or, you know, edible at all.” Rainbow couldn’t keep the snark out of her voice as she glanced at the obviously-overcooked pastry. “These don’t have meat in them, do they?”

Gilda flicked her tail, leaning in close. “I remember you thought I was very edible, Dash.” She winked, smirking at her.

“Wait a minute...” Pinkie narrowed her eyes, looking from one to the other. “Did you two used to fool around or something? Is that why Gilda got so mean? Did she think I was steppin’ in on her main squeeze?”

Rainbow couldn’t help but blush a little as she reached up to rub behind her mane. “We were fillies, Pinkie, and we both learned quite a bit-”

“Yeah, I learned that Dash squeals pretty loud if you nibble on the right spot,” Gilda cut in, her grin turning evil.

“Gilda!” Rainbow’s face turned bright red for a moment before she looked down at the ground and continued with a slight grumble in her voice. “It only seems to work with a beak, actually.”

“As much as I want to hear about more of Dash’s likes, I feel like we’re getting off topic!” Putting her scone back on the cart, Pinkie rummaged around in her mane. “We’re here to fix some kind of problem.” Pulling out some construction paper, she held it out to Gilda. “Have you seen any of these guys around?”

Said paper was covered in crude Heartless drawings, drawn from pictures taken from Alex’s phone.

“Uh, Pinkie, I don’t think weird shadow monsters constitutes a friendship problem,” Dash said, reaching out to lower Pinkie’s arm. “They’d probably be an improvement over who lives here now.”

“You have heartless in Equestria?” Gilda questioned, eyes following the paper. “Looks like you aren’t as perfect as you pretend you are, huh?”

“Oooohhhhh, you know what Heartless are?” Pinkie smiled wide at this, and giggled as she looked over at Rainbow. “I told you it wasn’t a waste of crayons and glue.”

Gilda clicked her beak, moving from behind her cart. “Do you always ask stupid questions? I’m one of Griffonstone’s keybearers. Doesn’t pay anything but it beats this place getting even worse.”

“Wait, so you have a keyblade like Alex does?”

“Keybow, usually. Staying at range tends to be an advantage in aerial combat, Dash.” Gilda looked up at the sky for a few seconds before beginning to push her cart to another location. “I’m one of the few griffons who can turn their blade into more than one thing. Bow and dagger, something for all occasions.”

“That’s pretty cool!” Pinkie bounced behind her, a smile plastered on her face. “Maybe you and Alex can train together. I bet you’d have a lot of fun!”

“Yeah, well who says I want anything to do with someone ponies know? I’m a little busy here helping make sure the place isn’t overrun to go off somewhere purely for pleasure.”

“You doing something useful? As if,” Dash scoffed, tossing her mane back. “Gimme another one, G. I haven’t had my quota of ‘yeah rights’ today.”

“Says the weathermare who pines for being a stunt flier. Talk about useless. Both of you dweebs need to get off the streets, because I’m not going to make any special effort to protect two weak ponies.”

Dash growled, flaring her wings out. “Who are you calling weak, Gilda!? I fought Discord and changelings and all kinds of crazy stuff! All you do is push around a rickity cart and whack dumb shadows over the head!”

Gilda raised her right talon to point off into the distance where what looked like a huge black cloud was pouring up out of the ground. “Get inside unless you want those dumb shadows crawling down your throat to turn you into more of them from the inside out. The flying ones only seem to care about ‘easy prey’ they can see, and that means only bearers should be visible. One as ‘bait’ for a focal point. I got the short stick today.”