Fallout Equestria: Insanity’s Flight
By Storm128

Chapter 5: A Happy Home

There's no happy endings not here and not now
This tale is all sorrows and woes
You dream that justice and peace win the day
But that's not how the story goes

Thirteen Years Before The Destruction of The Cloud Layer

This can’t be real.

Oh it’s real, bub. That just happened.

I laid supine on the mattress, gazing wide eyed at the darkened ceiling. My limbs felt stiff, my chest grew cold, and my mind buzzed at a feverish pace. This was wrong, that couldn’t have happened. How was it possible?

You’ve known the bitch for, like, two days, Koe commented. Did you really think you had her all figured out? That, my boy, is pretty arrogant if you ask me.

I didn’t ask you, I thought back contemptuously.

Oh cry me a river, build me a bridge, and GET THE FUCK OVER IT! the voice snapped back angrily. What, you thought we’d get your ass outta that hole and everything would be sunshine and Goddess-damned rainbows? News flash, shit for brains, the world is pretty screwed up. No amount of wittle famiwies, cutsie wittle parties, or twitterpated fillies is gonna put the bombs back in the sky. Everypony is just trying to survive. Some of them do it a teensy bit less morally than others, and that’s what we’re here to fix. Doesn’t matter if they’re bloodlusting raiders, or lying, slaving grandmas. This is what you wanted, kid. This is the world you’re out here to save. Are you ready for it?

Why?

Why what?

“Why does it have to be this way?” I whispered aloud. “Why do ponies have to hurt each other like this?” An audible sob passed my lips, forcing my chest to heave and shattering the ice that had been paralyzing my limbs. A torrent of emotions poured forth from the crumbling numbness, wracking my body with its horrors as the fantasy collapsed.

I’d finally found a home and a family that cared about me. But was it all a lie? No, it couldn’t be. I wouldn’t believe it. There was no way that-

And there’s the denial. Step one complete.

I- I’m not-

You wanna know why, kid? Koe asked knowingly. You really wanna know why?

I nodded reservedly.

Ponies have always been like this.

I shot up in bed, What?

Well not just ponies I suppose, but yeah. Every one of you squishy fleshbags are pretty much exactly the same when it comes to survival, you’ll do anything for it.

No, that’s not right. Ponies used to live in peace, everyone did.

Yeah, when the world was made out of gumdrops and icecream. You see, that’s the thing. Once upon a time, what your ancestors might call a conflict, we’d probably find pretty fucking funny. A bad mane day, a prank gone too far, a disagreement over the value in minute differences in efficiency of certain vintages of pie tins.

That’s… specific.

Pipe down, I’m trying to make a point. So, once the comfortable times ended, your people were faced with a very different outlook on the world. Gone were the days of afternoon naps, going out for milkshakes, and slumber parties. Now there was this little thing called war, something you lot never really had to deal with.

Things weren’t quite so black and white anymore. In war, there are no cackling, moustache-twirling villains. Just the bleak reality that innocent people on either side could lose a loved one at a moments notice. They’d want revenge, and voila. The war is supported to satisfy everypony’s hate-boners, and the vicious circle keeps on spinning until its glorious, balefire-powered conclusion.

So you see, it’s not so difficult to understand. With the fabulous motivation that is the fear of death, this world of peace and happiness finally crumbled to ash. Rather than face that fact, most are willing to just go on with their days, doing whatever necessary to protect the artificial segments of happiness they’ve claimed.

And that’s what we’re fighting against, I responded, beginning to see the logic in Koe’s explanation.

Now you’re catching on, he responded, sounding pleased. I tried to warn you, kid. You can’t get too attached anywhere, it’ll only lead to more situations like this. I keep saying it and, no matter what, it’ll always be the truth. The voice grew softer with almost velvety intonations, I’m your only real friend in the world, the only one that understands you.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered aloud. “You’re the only one that’s always been there for me. You just say things that hurt so much, I just… I don’t… “

The truth hurts, but what kind of friend would I be if all I did was lie to you?

“I’m sorry, Koe,” I repeated, my voice cracking. “You’re my best friend.”

Nopony will ever understand you the way I do, Venture. It’s just the two of us against the world.

“Good morning everypony!” Tender Heart cried warmly.

My eyes peeled open slowly as the room came into focus. The others were groaning with exhaustion or sitting up in bed, rubbing their eyes. The few fitful hours of sleep I’d managed weighed on my mind like a wet blanket. My thoughts felt muddied and sluggish, the pieces clumsily falling into place as the elderly mare approached me.

“And a very special good morning to you, Venture,” she said lovingly. “How did you sleep?”

“Fine,” I answered quickly, averting my eyes as the memories of last night came rushing back.

“That’s wonderful to hear,” Tender Heart responded. “And I hate to put a damper on such a lovely morning, but…” she trailed off as she levitated a can full of the withdrawal medicine over to me.

I took it delicately, continuing my refusal to meet her gaze, “Thanks.”

A look of concern passed over Tender Heart’s face, seeming prepared to question further, when Rowan dashed toward us and began pulling at the elderly mare’s leg.

“Grandma!” she hissed in a panicked whisper. “I… I kinda… did it again.”

“Oh Rowan,” Tender Heart intoned. “Ok, you go get cleaned up, and I’ll take care of this little… accident.”

The filly looked visibly relieved as the pair shuffled off to clean up. I looked into the can, spying my reflection staring right back from the clear, shimmering liquid. I took a deep breath in preparation before lifting the vile medicine to my lips.

I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

Why?

Duh, I don’t know, the voice said in mocking tone, maybe because she was talking about killing you last night?

It seemed, compared to every other discovery, that little tidbit had somehow slipped my mind. You don’t think she’s actually going to-

She didn’t exactly say no.

As much as I didn’t want to think it to be true, he had a point. I couldn’t deny the very real possibility of Tender Heart trying to poison me. In fact, that would probably be the smartest way to go about it.

I casually opened the window above my bed and tossed the medicine out. But what about my-

Gonna have to muscle through the shakes for now, kid. Only way to make sure you get her before she gets you.

I nodded in agreement.

“Ok, everypony!” Tender Heart announced, a bundle of sheets floating behind her back. “Wash up and get ready for breakfast.”

I began to climb down from bed, but paused and grimaced. I can’t eat what she gives me either, can I?

Koe said nothing, but I could almost visualize him grinning and shaking his head.

“Hey Lemon, can I ask you something?” I questioned, shattering the uncomfortable silence that had befallen the mushroom cavern.

I’d just finished placing a bushel in her saddlebags. My stomach rumbled irritably, but the clashing nausea was more than enough to keep my mind off it. Even so, I choked down a few of the raw fungus caps when Lemon wasn’t looking. I didn’t want to worry her, but it also didn’t seem like the best idea to be dealing with hunger alongside whatever side effects my withdrawal would unleash.

“Well, Mr. Lazybones, I know we didn’t use the mushrooms we picked yesterday, but I refuse to use anything but the freshest ingredients,” she stuck her nose in the air haughtily. “I have incredibly high standards, in case you haven’t noticed.” The filly’s air of superiority cracked when she broke out a joking smile.

I tried to return the gesture, but my grin faltered, “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“I know,” she replied solemnly. ”Listen, about the party. I shouldn’t have just assumed you were going to be ok with that. It was insensitive of me, and totally inappropriate. We were all so thankful for what you did that I was overwhelmed, but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry, and I hope we can move past it.”

“No I… I mean it’s… it’s ok,” I sputtered, caught off guard by the apology. “I know you were trying to be nice, I just have this thing about being... touched. I shouldn’t have reacted like that, it’s-”

“You don’t have to say anymore,” Lemon interrupted, adopting an understanding tone. “I’m here as a friend if you ever need me, but don’t feel obligated to explain to anypony what’s happened to you. If you want to talk we can talk, but only if it’s for you, not me.”

“Thank you,” I replied, elated as the tension in the room faltered. “But that’s not what I meant either.”

The filly cocked her head quizzically, “Then what’s up?”

“It might be a sensitive subject,” I answered warily.

She nodded, “Go ahead, but if this is something I’m not comfortable discussing, I hope you’ll understand in the same way I would for you.”

“I will, I promise,” I said hurriedly. “It’s just, yesterday you said that some of the other kids go missing from time to time.”

“Yes, I did,” Lemon stated simply, keeping her voice steady.

“Well, I was wondering if you maybe know… how?”

She sighed shakily, “I already told you. Slavers, just like the ones yesterday.”

“Have you ever seen them?” I inquired further.

“Why do you want to know about all this?” the filly asked suspiciously, the warmth ebbing from her voice.

“How else am I going to start protecting this place?” I said without thinking. “If we’re going to find a way to keep the slavers away, I need to know everything.”

I blinked rapidly. Those hadn’t been my words. What just-

I got your back, kid, Koe whispered reassuringly.

Wha- how did you-

Let’s not focus on the how, let’s focus on the why, the voice replied, sounding annoyed. You ain’t exactly Mr. Smooth when it comes to thinking on your hooves. I’m just keeping the conversation going.

Lemon nodded slowly, “I guess you’re right. Nopony else has been able to stand up to them like that, you deserve to know everything.”

Shall I take a bow?

She continued, “It started a few years ago, at least as far as I know. A few of the older orphans were about to head out on their own. It was the first group since I got here, and it was just days of parties and tearful goodbyes. They were talking about all the treasure and stories they’d bring back.” Lemon paused a moment as her lips curved up, “It really was a happy time.”

“The night before they were supposed to leave, we were outside having a big picnic dinner. That’s when… they showed up,” Lemon’s voice grew hoarse and shaky as she recalled the event. “A group of ponies charged out of the darkness, firing guns, shouting, and beating down anypony that tried to… to run,” her speech began to falter.

“Lemon, you don’t have to keep- ke…” I trailed off as my tongue fell limp. I tried to get the words out, wanting to show her the same kindness she’d offered. This was obviously a traumatic memory, and I knew exactly how painful those could be.

Why can’t I talk?

Let her finish.

But she’s-

Let. Her. Finish, the voice commanded sternly. I know it hurts now, but we need to know for sure.

Lemon took a breath to compose herself, “Sorry, I don’t like thinking about it. After rounding us all up they put chains on the older kids. We begged and pleaded for them to stop. To take any of us. Instead they- they-”

“They what!” Koe forced me to snap.

The filly lurched back in surprise before continuing, “They shot Rowan’s brother.”

“They- shot- “ I stuttered helplessly.

Lemon nodded, tears beginning to drip down her cheeks, “Redwood, my best friend. The three of us arrived together after we lost our home. Rowan was barely old enough to walk, and I was too shocked to speak. We never would have made it without him.” She looked back at me with a small bit of joy sparkling amongst the tears, “You and he are a lot alike.

“Redwood was the only one of us brave enough to stand up to them. He got right in their faces and told them they weren’t leaving,” she trailed off and gazed at the floor. “They never even gave him a second look, just pulled out a pistol and killed him.” Another sob broke through her speech.

“After that, they left. I’ve never seen them again since that night, but every once in awhile some of the older kids go missing. Grandma always says they ran away, or maybe the geckos got them… which probably isn’t that far fetched. They can gulp down anything short of a full grown stallion. But I always had a feeling she was just trying to make us feel better. That those slavers are still out there.”

“Do you remember what they looked like?”

She shook her head, “It was dark and they were all wearing armor.” The filly furrowed her brow in thought, “But I think there were three of them, and the one that talked to us sounded like a mare.”

Oh no, “D-did any of them ever say their names?”

“Yeah,” she responded, realization dawning in her tone. “I remember two of them started arguing, and the last one had to break them up. I think they called him… Stash? Brash? Maybe…”

“Gash?” I offered hesitantly.

We locked gazes as Lemon nodded.

“How?”

How what?

“You know what I’m talking about,” I grumbled irritably as I idly drew circles in the sand beneath my hooves.

I stood stoically on the side of the orphanage, absently watching the other children at play. Most had joined in on a game of hide and seek and… well I’ll be damned if they didn’t make the most out of playing in an open desert.

My breathing had turned to deep, though shaky respirations. A familiar murkiness sought to encroach across my mind as a roiling beset upon my stomach. My limbs grew weary and subtly convulsed as each wave of withdrawal breached across me.

Oh, you mean the whole ‘stopped you from making a complete and total ass of yourself thing?’ Is that what you’re talking about?

“No,” I spat, “how did you make me say those things?”

I didn’t make you do anything, Koe snarled. I just gave the part of you that knew what needed to be done a little… invigorating shake. I told you, kid, I know you better than anypony ever will.

“But we already knew what was going on!” I shot back. “Why did we have to put her through that?”

So we could be sure, he responded simply. I can’t make you do anything you don’t already want to do, and I could tell you still had reservations about Ol’ Granny Slaver. Now we know, definitively, what needs to be done.

I gulped nervously, “I don’t know if I can.”

“Don’t know if you can what?” a filly’s voice said from behind.

I nearly leapt from my skin at the sudden intrusion. My head whipped around to find Rowan cocking her head. “Who in the hay are you talking to?”

Way to go, Venture, but if you really want to sell the whole ‘bat shit crazy’ persona, then might I suggest more random bouts of maniacal cackling.

“I… uh… n-nopony?” I answered lamely.

“Got an imaginary friend, huh?” she inquired flatly. “I had one of those once. His name was Finnius Thornsquatter, a giant, pink, flammable ice-cream breathing chicken. Oh I’d ride on his back all across the wasteland,” the filly said sentimentally as she panned a hoof through the air. “We’d bring delectable treats to the hungry near and far. But they would soon realize the trap I’d set when the first pile of mint chip burst into flames. The peasants would cower as their new, vengeful god provided for them, then stole it away. I would be their ruler, their queen!” She rose up on her hind hooves, “All hail Queen Rowan! All hail Queen Rowan! All hail-”

She cut herself off as she spied my wide-eyed, blank look.

“Don’t stare at me like that. I’m not weird.”

“I wasn’t, I mean, I don’t think that-” I stammered

“Well,” she interrupted, “maybe if you’re done talking to your imaginary friends, you can come try and make some real ones.” Rowan beckoned me to follow.

We rounded the corner of the house to find the other children huddled together, conversing fiercely about who should seek next.

“Rowan found Lilly first, so that means it has to be her!” a tan colt, Dune Rider I believed, snapped angrily.

“Nuh-uh,” the purple filly responded defensively. “She found you last, but you still got tagged. That’s the rules.”

“Well it’s a stupid rule,” he whined. “Why should the best hider ever have to be it?”

“Simmer down, y’all,” Rowan said coolly as she stepped between them. “We’ve got a new player, so that means he’s it.” She tossed her gaze back at me, “That’s ok, isn’t it?”

“Oh, sure, that’s fine,” I responded hurriedly.

We don’t have time for this, Koe said disapprovingly. Unless you’ve forgotten, more than a couple clocks are ticking.

As if in response, my front legs began to quiver and a disquieting fatigue settled across me. Breathing became harder and what little I managed came in shaky gasps.

I’m fine, I thought back harshly. We can’t do anything about Tender Heart right now, so we might as well-

What, let you keep living out this deluded little fantasy? the voice snapped.

Try not to draw attention to ourselves, I finished.

Oh yeah, I’m sure that’s the only reason you want to play. Go ahead, have fun. Keep making it harder for yourself when we finally have to rip this cutsie little band aid off.

“Hey, you doing alright?” Rowan asked. “If you don’t want to be it, that’s fine. No need to go getting sick over it.”

I realized then that I was staring dully toward the ground and my respiring was clearly audible. “Uh, n-no. I’m fine, really.”

“Ok, if you say so,” she said warily. “So, the rules are pretty simple. You close your eyes and count to fifty while we hide. After that, you come looking for us. The boundaries are from the backyard fence to the mushroom cave. When you find somepony, call out their name and then try to tag them. If they can get back to the house first, then they’re safe from being it next round and, if you can’t tag anypony, then you’re it again. Make sense?”

“Got it,” I said confidently, trying to mask the turmoil inside of me. I turned from the group and sealed my eyes shut.

“One, two, three…” I began as the sound of little hoofsteps bounded in every direction.

You really think this is a good idea, don’t you?

“Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen,” I continued, ignoring him.

I know how bad you’re hurting right now, kid. It’s torture, and the sooner we put this old bitch six feet under, the sooner we can take care of it.

“Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty…”

Why do you keep delaying? We’ve put down dozens of ponies with more tragic backstories than this. What are you so afraid of?

“Thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five…”

Oh. My. Goddess. You actually think there’s another way don’t you? You’re gonna try to find a way to reason with Granny Slaver.

“Forty, forty-one, forty-two…”

There’s not always an answer to every problem, kid. Sometimes you just have to act. You’re in no shape to stave off the inevitable. We both know that whatever cocamany shit plan you try and piece together-

“Forty-eight, forty-nine…”

Is going to fail.

“Fifty,” I turned back and found myself alone.

“Ready or not, here I come.”

“Dune!” I shouted enthusiastically before galloping after the colt.

He cried out before dashing from the burrow he’d nestled in.

My lungs burned from the strain, and the wind stung at my eyes as we raced back toward the house. The blanketing lethargy brought on through the withdrawal seemed just a distant annoyance,

I felt giddier now than I could ever recall being. This was a moment I never knew how badly I craved. My heart pounding with adrenaline, a continual chuckle in my throat, the cheers and acclaim raining from the other children.

From my friends.

You’re making a big mistake, boss, Koe said cooly.

The voices grim warning was the furthest thing from my mind as I casually tapped Dune’s shoulder, but careful to not retain the contact for too long. A dismaying wail echoed from the colt.

“Aw feathers,” he swore loudly.

“Haha,” Rowan laughed, clapping her hooves. “Serves you right. You know Grandma doesn’t like us hiding in gecko dens. Even so, what was that? Twenty meters away?” she giggled again. “Lazy.”

“He found you first, didn’t he?” Dune hissed annoyedly. “You were closer than I was.”

“Yeah, but I’m actually fast,” Rowan responded haughtily. “I just had to get back before him, and y’all know nopony can catch me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dune growled frustratedly. “Just you wait till next round. I’ll get you then.”

Rowan rolled her eyes before levelling her gaze back at me, “So, that just leaves Lily and you’ve got us all.”

I furrowed my brow, “But I’ve looked everywhere. Where could she be?”

“You haven’t checked the cave.”

“You mean inside?”

“Yessiree,” she answered happily. “It might take you a while, she’s gotten pretty good at finding places to hide in there.”

I smiled confidently, “I know my way around caves.”

Understatement of the century.

With that, we set off toward the mushroom cave. Koe fell silent again, and I took the break with relief. It seemed every conversation changed my opinion on the voice. One moment he’d be the only one speaking sense while guiding me through the world and ensuring our survival. The next he would be unconscionably cruel and constantly coercing me into committing more acts of violence. But maybe that was just my own perception. Perhaps he was consistent in all things he asked of me, but my own ethics continued getting in the way. I just didn’t know what to think of him anymore.

The mouth of the cave was soon upon me, and I gazed into the darkened abyss. There was a no magic rule, so I’d have to rely on the dimly lit fungi to navigate. Trotting inside, I didn’t see any immediate sign of Lilac Breeze. However, I spied several broken stalks leading deeper into the cavern.

“I thought we weren’t supposed to go that far in,” I said aloud. Silence responded as I attempted to give the voice a chance to chime in. He didn’t.

“Great, now I really am just talking to myself,” I muttered.

Continuing deeper into the darkness, the patches of mushrooms grew fewer and further between until the last light faded into the background. A disconcerting familiarity tickled at the back of my mind. Before I could even comprehend what I was feeling, a scraping to my right had me whipping around and immediately forgetting the rules as my horn burst into light. The muted blue beam showed nothing from where the sound originated. A louder repeat of the noise resounded from behind me as I whipped about again. Once more, there was nothing.

I slowly began backing out of the cave, my eyes darting back and forth and very nearly hyperventilating.

‘Please, don’t,’ a voice called out softly. I turned toward it, and the image of a mare bleeding profusely from her stomach flashed across my vision. She had her hooves raised in a pleading manner as the terror of impending death shone brightly in her gaze. A thin, red line appeared across her throat, spraying blood in a fanning arc.

I ripped my eyes away from the sight and began moving more quickly toward the entrance of the cave.

‘You’re gonna die, you hear me! I’ll fucking kill you! Get away from me! Get away!’ another voice cried out followed by the hazy recollection of a newly crippled stallion. His bottom half futilely flopped about as he desperately dragged himself away from me. A rock appeared to fling from my grasp and crush the stallion’s skull.

I cried out in terror as the familiar vision played out before me. I broke into a full gallop, desperate to escape the torturous memories.

‘I have kids!’ another shrieked. A stallion, battered with cuts and bruises, limped along the wall beside me. ‘I can’t die now! Please I-” his words were cut off when a blue aura surrounded his throat and crushed his windpipe. He fell to the ground, thrashing and clawing at his neck until he finally lie still.

“STOP IT!” I shouted, “PLEASE!”

Another shade shimmered into view. An enormous stallion, impaled across a stalagmite. His hooves flapped futilely against the stone. ‘Ah… love ya… lil broth-’, Pike gasped, succumbing to his wounds and collapsing in the reservoir of blood below.

I fell to the ground, desperately closing my eyes and pressing my hooves around my ears, but the voices still found a way in. Like moths fluttering around inside my skull, I couldn’t ignore their pain and terror. Their screams echoed throughout my mind, coalescing into a screeching chorus.

“Hey, are you ok?” another voice called out.

The levees of my mind crumbled. I couldn’t endure this torture any longer. The memories, the withdrawal, the hunger. They all united in an unending assault that battered my resolve into nothingness.

“Stop,” I moaned quietly.

The final memory seemed to continue on, but an overbearing ringing smothered whatever it was supposed to say.

“I SAID STOP!” I screamed before lashing out at the vision. My hoof connected and I heard flesh hit the floor. A mysterious feeling of elation spread over me. The hit had calmed the voices and began to soothe the withdrawal.

Pouncing upon the opportunity, I scrambled on top of the memory. “Why won’t you leave me alone! I didn’t do anything wrong! I’m the good pony! I’m the hero, dammit!”

My hooves came down in a series of hammering blows. Each connection brought forth grunts and cries from the memory that steadily grew quieter and more pitiful. The incredible surge of adrenaline fueled my glee in stamping out the horrifying images. The symptoms slipped away as the familiar comfort of unbridled fury poured from my hooves.

Soon my energy began to falter, and a satisfying exhaustion blanketed me. I fell to the side, breathing heavily as clarity returned from the mist of rage. The ringing in my ears soon abated, replaced by whimpering cries and choked gasps. Curious, I turned back toward the vision and cautiously illuminated my horn.

Lilac Breeze lay supine beside me, both eyes swollen shut, jaw hanging at a horrifying angle, and now missing far more than just her front teeth. Tears poured from swollen slits, and a sputtering cough sprayed crimson raindrops into the air.

I shrieked in terror upon spying what my outburst had wrought. Before I could even think, I was back on my hooves and looking over the mangled filly.

“Wh- wh- what have I-”

I really hate to say I told you so, but…

The orphanage was deathly silent.

I sat on the edge of an easy chair in the living room, alone save for the occasional head poking out of the kitchen to offer glares of shock or condemnation. I suppose it wasn’t that surprising, how often does one almost lose a friend to the same pony who’d just saved the lives of two others?

I’d go with a healthy mix of disgust and trepidation. They are the cornerstones of a good ol’ fashioned erosion of trust.

“You’re not helping,” I mumbled dully.

Oh I sure as shit am, the voice stated matter-of-factly. How many times do I have to tell you that you’re not in the right headspace, dummy?

“But it w- it wasn’t my-”

W-w-wasn’t your fault? Is that what you’re trying to stutter? I’m sorry, was it somepony else that tried to turn that kid’s head into guacamole?

“I couldn’t help it,” I whimpered. “That wasn’t me. The voices, the memories, they just wouldn’t stop. I had to make them.”

That was the most ‘you’ you’ve been in the last few days, kid, Koe responded flatly.

The door to Tender Heart’s bedroom creaked open and the elderly mare shuffled out. She turned sullenly toward me, “Venture, please come here.”

Shakily I pried myself from the seat and approached, “H-how is she?”

“Not good,” she said flatly. “As far as I can tell, she’s in a coma. She received significant trauma to the head, and I don’t know if she’ll wake up.”

“No,” I whispered breathily. “There has to be something we can do. Something I can-”

“You killed her!” a filly cried before something slammed into me.

I fell back against the wall and dazedly looked up into Rowan’s fury-filled eyes. “Why?” she hissed through clenched teeth. “We were just playing a game. We were trying to be your friends! Why did you kill her?!” She brought up her hooves and began battering my exposed side with a flurry of blows. Frustrated tears spilled from her eyes and splattered against my coat.

“WHY?!” Rowan screamed between each strike. “WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!”

I whimpered helplessly against the floor, enduring the beating because… well, I couldn’t really say. Perhaps it would soothe my guilt. Maybe it would demonstrate the contempt I felt for my actions, and that I in no way intended to justify them.

Maybe it was because I was in the same position not so long ago.

The room began to melt away as I gazed up at the hysterical filly. Soon, a facsimile of myself replaced her, screaming the same question at a dying mare. The memory faded as her family’s names echoed as the final utterances she spoke.

Rowan was just as confused as I had been.

“That’s enough!” Tender Heart cried sternly as she plucked the filly up in her magic.

“B-but- but he-” she sputtered as she helplessly struggled against the aura suspending her. Finally accepting the futility in the exercise, she let her limbs hang limply and began to sob.

“Shhh,” the mare soothed as she held Rowan close. “It’s ok, sweetheart. Everything’s going to be just fine.” She beckoned toward the kitchen. Lemon cautiously emerged and trotted toward us. She placed a hoof around Rowan’s shoulders and led her back toward the others.

I stared at the departing pair, desperately wanting Lemon to meet my gaze, but she pointedly kept her eyes locked forward until they disappeared back into the kitchen.

“Venture,” Tender Heart repeated. “Will you please escort me to town?”

“Why?”

“Because we all must take responsibility for our actions, Venture,” she answered coldly. “There’s a stallion in Hoofsprings, Doctor Stitchell. If anypony can help Lilly now, it’s him.”

“Do you really think he can?” I asked hopefully.

Tender Heart hung her head, “I don’t know, but he’s the best chance we have. From what I hear, he’s quite the expert on head injuries.”

I turned toward the window, watching as the brilliant orange of day melted into the soothing purple of twilight. “When do we leave?”

The elderly mare’s eyes locked back onto me, the familiar warmth she exuded completely absent from her expression, “Now.”

Night fell quickly as we made our way toward Hoofsprings. We walked in silence, save for the subtle hum of our illuminated horns. The white and dark blue auras blended into a calming cerulean that encircled us.

After countless, tortuously tense minutes, Tender Heart spoke, “How are you holding up?”

I was taken aback at first, shocked at the calm tone, “As good as I can be, I guess.”

She sighed, “I know you didn’t do this on purpose, Venture. I can’t even begin to imagine the horrors you’ve been forced to see, but maybe I should have tried harder. Maybe if I understood the depths of your trauma, then I could have taken more precautions to keep the children safe. You’re damaged and, if your actions these past few days are any indication, uncontrollably violent. It may have benefited the others yesterday, but now I see that you can’t control yourself.” Tender Heart abruptly halted and turned toward me. “It’s not your fault. If I were to have things my way, I would do everything in my power to help you. But…” she trailed off.

“But what?” I asked.

“But it’s not just about you and me,” she continued as her composure started to break down. “I- I have to consider the welfare of the other children.”

It wasn’t until that moment that I noticed the well-trodden path we’d been following had steadily become less defined. Now it seemed we were standing on open desert.

“We’re not going to town, are we?” I questioned reservedly. A seed of fear took root in my gut as I glanced warily at the mare’s bulging saddlebags.

“We are not, but I will be,” Tender Heart responded simply. “Doctor Stitchell really is Lilly’s best hope, but that’s not where we’re going.”

Oh Goddess, please no.

“The others… the others aren’t going to be able to trust you again, Venture. They’ve all been through so much, I can’t risk destroying everything we’ve built for ourselves.” She began rifling through one of the saddlebags.

Now or never, hero.

“I… I know what you’re doing,” I whispered timidly.

The elderly mare snapped back toward me, “What did you say?”

“I know what you’re doing,” I responded a bit more confidently.

“Whatever do you mean?” she asked suspiciously.

“You’re just using this as an excuse,” I continued. “But I know the real reason you want me gone, because I saw what you did last night. You met with the slavers.”

Tender Heart’s eyes grew wide, “I… but… you-”

“How could you?!” I spat venomously, my fear consumed by the outrage I’d been repressing. “They all trust you, love you. And you’re just farming them like livestock!”

“How dare you!” she snapped back angrily, her lips turning up in a snarl. “Do not even think for a moment that you understand what I’m doing here. I give these children something they would never have without me.”

“A life in chains?” I retorted.

“A childhood,” Tender Heart hissed. Just as quickly as it had come, the mare’s anger evaporated. She hung her head and the familiar, comforting voice returned. “I hope that you more than most will understand. These days, children don’t have the opportunity to be… children. Dead parents, growing up with gangs, even dying in infancy. All of this is so common now, and that’s what this orphanage was supposed to combat. A refuge to allow the young of the wasteland a chance to experience a family, to be loved.”

“How did you get from that to having your own kids sell them into slavery?” I shot back, desperate to keep my righteous indignation aflame in the wake of her soothing voice.

“It’s… complicated,” the mare admitted somberly. “It was never supposed to turn out like this.”

She sighed, “Years ago, my husband and I lived here with our three beautiful children. Lasso Twirl, Cactus Patch, and River Rock… I suppose you know them as Noose, Spikestrip, and Gash. Their father passed away when they were very young, and it became more and more difficult for us to survive. When they were old enough, my children begged me to let them go out on their own, to find a new life for us. When I declined, they ran off anyway. Weeks, months, almost a year passed without any word from them.

“I’d given them up for dead,” Tender Heart admitted, her voice cracking, “and s-somedays, I can’t help but feel that things would be better if they were.”

“Go on,” I urged her. If I could keep the mare talking, keep bringing up these painful memories, maybe it would give me an opportunity to… what? Run away? But I didn’t want to leave. Kill her? The others would never take me back if I returned alone, especially now. The implications of whatever I chose all seemed equally vile. Hadn’t we thought this through? I could have sworn we had. Koe had made it seem like this was the only-

Koe.

“After a few months,” Tender Heart continued, “I’d forgotten all hope, and was resigned to living out my days in solitude. That is until some of the townsponies brought a few orphaned foals to my door.” A small grin graced the mare’s cheeks, “It was like a sign from Celestia herself, and I knew then that my duty in this life was not yet fulfilled. I was to care for and nurture any children of the wasteland that came knocking.”

“A-and then?” I asked, still desperately trying to think of what I would do next, but nothing sprang to mind.

And then we snapped her fucking neck and merrily marched off toward the next adventure.

We can’t, I thought back hopelessly.

And why the shit not?

You- you tricked me, I responded incredulously. If I kill her, they’ll never take me back.

What? Koe asked confusedly. That’s kinda the point. We talked about this, they’re better off without her, and you can’t afford to get tied down anywhere, hero. I didn’t trick you, this was all your idea, remember?

So I can’t even have friends?

You’ve already got me. What more do you need?

“And then,” Tender Heart uttered miserably, “my children came home to me. I thought it was a miracle. They returned with caps and supplies, more than enough to care for the orphans I’d taken in. Not only that, but they were incredibly supportive of turning our home into a home for all.”

Over the course of her narration she constantly turned from nostalgic bliss, to remorse, “I never knew where the provisions came from, but I didn’t care. My family was together, and that was all that mattered. That is…”

“Until they started taking the children,” I finished flatly.

Tender Heart nodded, “They tried to keep it from me, wearing masks and calling each other those nicknames, but I knew my kids. After that first night, I confronted them. It was then that I learned that my own children had become slavers. They kept telling me about how business had been drying up. That if I wanted to keep the orphanage open, wouldn’t it be better to sell off the eldest in return for giving the youngest a safe place to call home?

“I didn’t know what to think anymore. What my own children were doing stood in such stark contrast to everything I’d tried to impart with them. But what was I supposed to do!” the elderly mare suddenly snapped, her expression turning manic. “We had nothing! No supplies, no services to offer?! How else were we meant to survive?! This way they at least get to live out their foalhoods in safety and love. Isn’t that enough? Isn’t that something good?”

It struck me that the questions weren’t rhetorical. She genuinely wanted an answer, for me to provide some measure of justification for the atrocities she’d allowed to happen.

She doesn’t deserve it.

“Please,” Tender Heart whimpered, “tell me I’m still good. Tell me I’m not a bad pony.” It was hard to tell in the pale light, but it seemed like she started sobbing. “I care so deeply for all of them, but I still love my children… I… I can’t…”

To say I was conflicted would be like saying Hellhounds are a bit ornery, but there was one prevailing question left unanswered, “So you’re going to kill me?”

“What?” she gasped, horror in her tone. “N-no, I-”

“That’s what Noose told you to do.”

“I… yes, he did. But I had no plans to harm you, Venture,” a look of realization passed over her, “that’s why you didn’t eat or take your medicine. You thought I was trying to…”

“Am I wrong?”

“Yes,” Tender Heart stated solemnly before pulling a final strap on her saddlebag and letting it tumble to the ground. She kicked open the flap to reveal a few dozen glass vials, various bits of food, and the matte black grip of a handgun. “I was going to ask you to leave. There’s enough food, water, and medicine here to wean you off the Rage and survive for a few weeks.” The mare took a shaky breath, “And before you ask, yes, that offer is still available. Take this, leave, and don’t come back. Please, just forget about us.”

“No,” I responded instantly. For a moment I wondered if Koe had stolen my tongue again, but the answer had been mine. “This is wrong and you know it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Venture,” she intoned dryly, “because your knowing of all this makes things a bit more complicated.” A white aura surrounded the saddlebag as the pistol floated out. “Don’t make me do this,” the hammer cocked back as she settled the sights on me. “This place and my children are all I have left. I care about you, and all the others, but I have to put my own family first.”

“Th-then I guess you’re gonna have to shoot me,” I stated flatly. “Because I will not rest until they’re safe from you.” I puffed out my chest and raised my chin, trying to appear far more brave and confident than the terrified screeching reverberating through my skull. “Do it.”

“I- I-” the mare stuttered before clenching her eyes. The aura brightened around the trigger.

Seeing my opportunity, I leapt forward, smacked at the pistol and tackled the mare to the ground. A clattering announced the gun’s landing before-

BLAM!

A burst of blinding light erased my vision, and a piercing ring dominated my hearing. Several moments of rubbing desperately at my eyes slowly brought the world back into focus. I spied Tender Heart a short distance away, mirroring myself as she fought to regain her sight.

The gun lay right next to my head, its barrel pointing toward a pile of boulders nearby. I plucked it from the ground and took aim at Tender Heart. As she regained her faculties, she locked her gaze onto me.

“Venture, p-please don’t,” Tender Heart hissed panickedly. “The children need me. You can’t do this.” Her expression hardened a bit, “Besides, they’ll never take you back without me. If they find out you did this-”

“I don’t want this,” I interrupted. “but I can’t let you continue on like nothing has changed. They all deserve the truth.” I tightened my grip on the pistol, “So what’s it gonna be?”

Stinging chills suddenly began coursing through my spine. The relative calm of the moment gave my withdrawal free reign to dominate my perceptions. I tried desperately to keep my composure, but the pistol started to shake, and my vision contorted once more.

A war of emotions erupted behind Tender Heart’s eyes. They flicked side to side and her pupils shrank, “I… I ca-”

The heavy silence shattered in the wake of a feral screech. At least a dozen more joined the first, and the sand beneath our hooves began to quiver. In unison, we turned toward the boulder the pistol had fired into.

The smaller rocks began to shake and topple down, a flurry of rapid movement appearing briefly behind them. One of the larger stones toppled over, revealing a mass of writhing, yellow flesh. The biggest of the creatures was as tall as Tender Heart on its rear legs. Sets of scything claws dotted the ends of each limb, and their gnashing, reptilian jaws revealed rows of razor sharp fangs.

Another demonic shriek tore through the air before the geckos locked onto us and pounced.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

A trio of bullets ripped into the reptiles, spurting gouts of dark ichor onto the sand. Two fell, twitching morbidly. The survivors, at least a dozen more, paused a moment, glaring at me and the smoking pistol.

“Don’t make any sudden moves,” Tender Heart whispered, terror in her voice. “They can’t see well at night.”

“So what do you suggest?” I hissed back.

Her eyes darted around until coming to rest on the rocky outcropping the geckos had emerged from, “There. If we can get on top of that, I think there’s enough loose rocks and sand to keep them from getting a decent grip.”

“They can’t climb?” I asked warily.

“Not well, strangely,” she elaborated. “They’ll disperse after eating, so they’ll probably start on the two you killed and give up on us.”

“Probably?”

Tender Heart nodded shakily.

Any other ideas? I thought toward Koe, but the voice remained uncharacteristically silent.

“Ok, so what do we do?”

“Keep your sights on them,” the mare said hurriedly. “I think I can levitate the both of us up there.”

Tender Heart went first. The aura encompassed the entirety of her body as she cautiously rose up into the air and began the short trip toward the rocks. Several of the ravenous reptiles jumped upward, gnashing their fangs desperately. Another bullet blew the head off the eagerest of the bunch.

After what seemed like hours, but was more than likely seconds, Tender Heart touched down on top of the largest boulder. She turned back toward me and her horn burst into light again.

A subtle warmth cut through the chill, desert night. My vision tinted slightly white and I felt myself begin to rise off the ground. Like cotton blowing in a gentle breeze, I slowly floated over the mass of geckos. I kept the group in sight, aiming beneath my hooves as I floated over. Then, just scant inches from safety, I stopped.

It didn’t hit me at first. Unfortunately it took one of them jumping up at the opportunity and clawing at my legs. A scorching heat erupted as the creature’s claws ripped a jagged line in my flesh. I cried out in pain. More of the geckos joined in the fray as I slowly descended toward them.

I shot a look at Tender Heart, finding a look of confliction staring back, “What are you doing?!”

“I’m sorry, Venture,” she mumbled weakly. “But I can’t let you come back. Just close your eyes, it’ll be over soon.”

Something within me snapped at the familiar statement, and a seething rage surged through me. My mind once more traveled back to the Pit, and the first mare I’d killed. At the time, the utter shock I felt at her actions only plagued my mind. How could anypony do something so callous and horrifying?

But I’d answered that question a long time ago. Now it was high time to accept it.

Fucking finally.

Tender Heart’s magic suddenly dispersed, dropping me into the feeding frenzy beneath. The geckos immediately beset upon me, ripping and biting at their prey. The first to bring its head toward me received a mouthful of lead for its troubles. I swung the pistol around and shot out the eye of another making a move toward my throat. Several of the smaller reptiles sped away into the darkness, but plenty more still remained.

With the bit of breathing room I’d bought, I pulled myself to my hooves and tried to ignore the litany of fresh wounds.

I got this one, kid.

A dimly recognizable burning smothered my injuries as Koe’s mind trick took hold. I took my next breath in a pained hiss as the scorching reached its apex, then abated as the cuts and bites began to numb.

Now able to concentrate, I felt an odd sense of calm blanketing my mind. As strange as it sounds, I felt more at home in the familiarity of mortal conflict than I ever had at the orphanage. I suppose, deep down, I knew that we didn’t belong there.

But here things made sense.

The symptoms of my withdrawal shrunk before the ravenous fury overtaking my senses. It licked at the corners of my mind, danced across veins, enticed my resolve, and electrified my heart. Rage coursed through me once again.

Six bullets, and a fuck ton more lizards. Let’s party.

Three of them suddenly dropped to all fours and charged forward, weaving back and forth in a serpentine. Dry, throaty hisses erupted from the trio before they lept. A bullet caught one in the chest, sending it spiralling back into the darkness.

Five.

Another landed beside me, latched its jaw around my leg and pulled violently. I was swept off my hooves and crashed to the dirt as annoying pinpricks cut through the numbed limb. The gecko flailed its head about, whipping me back and forth. An uncomfortable pressure began to form where the leg met my hip.

With a shout I tried to line up my sights with the yellow blur, but I couldn’t get a clear shot. I desperately smashed my free hooves against the creature, using its own momentum to pummel its flesh. A lucky strike smacked into its jaw with a resounding crunch. I toppled back to the ground, spying the thrashing gecko gripping at its mouth. A shot through the back of the skull put it down permanently.

Four.

I scanned my gaze across the darkness, looking for any of sign of the third. It reappeared in the form of a spiderweb of irritation across my backside as its fangs clamped down.

I yelped in surprise and jumped forward, dragging the smaller gecko along. It hissed in frustration as it dug deeper into my buttocks. My rear legs lashed out in a vicious buck, but it was too close to land a proper blow. With a grunt, I ran backwards as fast as possible and slammed into the closest boulder. The creature was persistent as it renewed its hold. Pinned as it was, however, I could finally angle the pistol back and place it against the gecko’s forehead.

“Get off my ass!” I cried before painting the rocks with a bloody mosaic.

Three

Even though the gecko’s head split apart, I was dismayed to find its teeth somehow still spearing my flank. “Oh you piece of shit!”

In a fit of rage, I fired twice more into creature’s twitching body.

Two, one, Koe paused a moment. Worth it?

“Worth it,” I affirmed breathlessly.

The survivors chittered and hissed out beyond the cone of my light, but none tried to mount another assault. Seizing the opportunity, I ran toward the rocky outcropping. I dug my hooves into the loose dirt and started to climb.

My injured limbs felt stiff, but functional enough to claw my way over the boulders. A splatter of saliva against my legs and a vicious cry signalled the geckos’ failed surprise attack, but they were not discouraged. I desperately clambered against the rocks with all my might to escape the ravenous creatures. A final heave lifted me up and onto the tallest crag.

My chest billowed with pained gasps as I sucked sweet mouthfuls of air. The geckos clawed and hissed from below, but they may as well have been miles away considering how much I cared. There was one bullet left in the pistol, and it was destined for one pony.

When I could compose myself enough to stand, I turned my sights toward the cowering mare at the other end of the boulder. Tender Heart shook, her eyes like dinner plates with a miniscule morsel dotting its center.

“H-how did-?” she stuttered breathily. “Wh-what are you?”

“Pissed,” I muttered dully before levelling the pistol at her head.

“No!” Tender Heart gasped. She began scooting closer to the boulder’s edge, desperate to put as much distance between us as possible.

Uh, she does know how a gun works, right?

I stalked forward, letting every ounce of rage and disgust broadcast itself clearly on my face. The adrenaline from the fight coursed so satisfyingly through my veins. Tender Heart continued to stutter and babble, fear motivating her every move. Her hind hooves reached the edge of the boulder and almost slipped off. A cascade of gravel rained down upon the remaining geckos gathered beneath.

The pitifulness of the image was almost… funny. So much so that the edges of my mouth turned up in a wicked grin.

It was all out in the open. All the lives she’d ruined whilst acting as the demure savior of children. All the innocent souls who’d so unwittingly placed their trust in her. The despair pouring from her broken speech merely fueled my vindication. In that moment I could tell this was my true purpose. Instilling the fear of the Goddess into anypony that preyed on the weak, killed the righteous, and stamped out hope. It was intoxicating, awe-inspiring.

I liked that she was afraid of me.

“V-Venture, please listen to me,” she begged. “Nothing has happened yet. We can just go home, the two of us. We’ll forget all of this ever happened. I’ll smooth things over with the others, they’ll understand. Even if Lilly doesn’t pull through, we can make it work.”

Tender Heart fell to the ground, clutching at my hooves. A spreading wetness settled on my fetlock as she sobbed and blubbered. “Please, I don’t want to die, not like this. Not with all the things I’ve-”

She suddenly stiffened and screeched in pain. I glanced behind her, finding one of the geckos had managed to claw its way up high enough to latch onto her leg. It began pulling the mare down, eager to finally have its hard-fought meal.

Tender Heart gripped my leg tightly, holding on for dear life. “Venture, don’t let them take me! I’m sorry! Please, help me!”

I felt… strange. Yesterday those words would’ve spurred me to action, risking life and limb to rescue a pony in need. Hell, I’d even let most of her piece of shit, slaving children go free. Odd how years in a literal hell hole could not shatter my beliefs. Yet one night, one shining example of the vile, deceiving wretches that inhabited the wasteland could completely subvert it.

And like sticking a bit in a light socket, we’ve learned our lesson. Right?

I answered the question by putting the last bullet in Tender Heart’s leg.

The mare screamed. Her limbs recoiled and instantly disappeared from the boulder’s edge. The tormented cries didn’t end there, instead growing into the agonizing shriek of an animal facing its grisly end. Geckos swarmed around the flailing mare, ripping and tearing at her hide, each desperate for its own pound of flesh. Spurts of red arced through the air like an artisanal fountain, and her wails grew more muffled and gurgling. Seconds stretched into an eternity as Tender Heart was eaten alive.

I watched until the feast had ended. Content with their meal, the reptiles began to disperse, revealing the remains of Grandma. They’d nigh picked the flesh from her bones, only leaving a gore spattered skeleton. Her face was oddly untouched, save for a large chunk bitten out of her left eye. The remnants of her expression portrayed an unrivaled plateau of fear.

Even in light of the barbaric scene, my grin didn’t falter. This was my first victory, my first villain vanquished. It was a time for celebration, for-

“You.”

Shocked from my reverie, I spun about to confront the new presence.

Atop the ridge a ways up the road stood a small silhouette. As if ordained by Luna herself, a break in the cloud layer above brought down a beam of brilliant moonlight. The illumination revealed the scene in all of its slaughterous splendor, alongside a seething Rowan.

“YOU FUCKING MONSTER!”

Never before had I run so fast.

The frigid air clung to my bellowing lungs like a morning frost, but still I went on. Rowan’s hoofsteps had long faded into the distance, but it was doubtless where she was going.

And remind me, again, why we are stampeding back toward those who may take issue with our little soiree du senicide?

“I… have to… tell them… what happened,” I gasped.

Really? Koe asked. And what, perchance, do we hope to accomplish with that?

“They deserve… the truth,” I answered, “whether they… believe it or not.”

Is… is this really how things are gonna be? he continued, a slight bit of dread in his tone. We fight, then you actually do the thing we both know you’re eventually gonna do, then feel compelled to perform some pedantic show of remorse? ‘Cause I’m gonna be honest with you, kid, it’s getting a little old.

“I… didn’t want… it to turn out… like that,” I choked out, finally slowing my gallop and taking a moment to catch my breath. The numbing was still keeping my injuries at bay, but it wouldn’t last forever. “I shouldn’t have… shouldn’t have-”

Are we back to this now? Celestia almighty, I actually thought we were making some progress.

“She didn’t have to die!” I snapped.

Then why did we kill her? Can’t blame the chems this time.

“I DON’T KNOW!” I screamed into the night, venting the utter contempt I felt toward myself. “When the fighting started, I couldn’t hold myself back. It felt like I was on Rage again, but I was still… me.”

I came to a stop at the realization. “It always felt like I was somepony else when I took it, that everything I did under the influence wasn’t really me. But now, after doing that, I just don’t know anymore.”

I looked up to the sky, spying the final remnants of the hole in the cloud layer before it sealed shut, plunging the world below back into its isolated darkness. “What am I,” I murmured miserably. “Am I… am I still a good pony?”

Koe said nothing.

The orphanage was hauntingly quiet as I approached. Dim, flickering lights danced within the windows, but that was all.

Warily, I crept toward the front door as a boulder seemed to appear in my gut. A mounting dread the likes of which I hadn’t felt since my first days in the Pit weighed down my hoof, preventing me from knocking. My breath grew shaky as the countless possibilities ran through my mind, with one extremely likely scenario holding center stage.

Just as I began to decide between entering or sprinting off into the night, the door suddenly creaked open. A stone-faced Lemon Tart stood on the other side, flanked by a furious Rowan, and a bewildered gathering of the other orphans. Some had obviously tipped over the verge of tears, while more still offered looks of pleading hope. Begging for whatever Rowan had told them to be untrue.

I froze, too overwhelmed by the crowd to even speak. Without a word, Lemon strolled toward me, with Rowan, Crankshaft, and Ruby Rose in tow. Spikestrip’s abandoned hunting rifle hung suspended in Ruby’s magic, whilst Crankshaft clutched a lead pipe in his teeth.

The filly stopped scant inches from my face, close enough to see her puffy, fury-filled eyes glaring right into my soul. “Is it true?” she asked quietly.

“I- I-”

“Is. It. True?” she repeated, punctuating each word. Lemon glanced behind me, “Where’s Grandma?”

“Sh-sh-she’s… she’s… ,” I dropped my gaze to the dirt, no longer able to endure the eye contact, “...dead.”

Lemon closed her eyes and nodded solemnly, “And you did it?”

“Yes,” I answered meekly.

Another nod before the filly reached behind herself and grasped a familiar burlap sack. A flick of her head sent it sailing toward me and crashing down at my hooves, spilling my books and the music box. It clicked open as the necklace tumbled out. The pendant landed at a just the right angle to shine in the pale light. It almost seemed like both royal sisters were casting a judgemental glare.

Lemon raised a hoof and pointed out into the desert, “Leave.”

“Wait!” I said desperately, raising my head and trying to meet her gaze. “Let me explain. Those slavers from before, they were her children. She’s been raising all of you just to sell you off. Please, you have to believe-”

“I SAID LEAVE!” she screamed, her demeanor crumbling before the heartbreak pouring out. “She brought you into our lives. Gave you food, a place to call home, and a family to care for you. And this... this is how you repay her?”

“But you were right!” I countered, my eyes burning as I fought to reign in the tears. “You knew something was wrong, that the older kids disappearing wasn’t just some coincidence. This is the answer. I know it’s hard to hear, but I saw it with my own eyes. She betrayed you all.”

“Stop!” Lemon hissed. “First you almost kill Lilly, then you actually killed Grandma. Now you want me to believe your lies?” She turned away from me and began walking back inside. I tried to lunge after her, but was stopped short by Ruby’s rifle taking aim.

“Just leave, Venture. Leave and never come back,” Lemon growled.

“But- but I-”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing!” Rowan interjected viciously, whipping around and blocking Lemon’s path. “You’re just letting him go? After everything he’s done?!”

“Yes,” the yellow filly muttered, “because we’re better than him.” She finally turned and met my gaze again, “We’re not monsters.”

Silence plagued the gathering. The tears started flowing freely as the first real home I’d ever known crumbled to ash. “Lemon,” I squeaked pitifully. “Please. I don’t- I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

She had a hoof on the front door, ready to go back inside and shut out this grisly chapter of their lives. “You made the choice to be alone when you took her from us.” Lemon opened the door, revealing the others and began to step inside.

“FUCK THIS!” Rowan screamed. “In my book you kill monsters!” She launched herself onto Ruby’s back and wrapped a hoof around the suspended rifle. Before the older mare could react, Rowan fumbled her way to the trigger, positioned the barrel and squeezed.

BOOM!

I felt my head jerk back and was flung to the ground. Instantly I could tell something was wrong. The entire right side of my face tingled, and it was oddly difficult to open the corresponding eye. A shaking hoof travelled up to the socket and came away splattered in red.

In either the cruelest twist of fate, or Koe’s own vindictiveness, the numbing chose that moment to recede. In the blink of an eye, I realized my own was gone.

A few noiseless screams left my gaping lips before morphing into a shrieking howl. I thrashed on the ground as a red hot poker bore its way into the empty socket. Every other worry and pain instantly vanished in the wake of an agony only rivalled by my time with Chance. But I had expected no less from him. This new pain had an entirely new facet. The filly who’d inflicted it had used an uncomfortably familiar justification.

Killing a monster.

As I jerked and twisted on the ground, trying to pull some semblance of rational thought together, I could faintly hear the others conversing.

“What did you do!” Lemon cried.

“What you didn’t have the guts to!” Rowan snapped.

“This isn’t going to bring Redwood back, Rowan. He didn’t-”

“Don’t you fucking dare say his name!” the smaller filly shrieked. “If you could have done this, he might still be here!”

“What do we do? What do we do? What do we do?” Ruby repeated, panic electrifying her tone.

“Nothing! Let him suffer!”

“We can’t do that. I told you we’re better than… “

The voices jumbled together into a indistinguishable white noise.

They’re trying to kill you, a voice said, cutting through the din. Koe, it had to be.

I can’t let them hurt me.

Wait, who was that?

You’re the hero. Not the monster.

They’re attacking me. I have to stop them. I have to survive. I’m the hero.

No wait, that wasn’t me. Was it? Who-

We can stop them.

Rip. Tear. Stab. Crush. Kill.

No, I can’t. They’re innoc-

No such thing.

“Stop,” I felt myself say. “Please, stop.” The pain barraged my senses, instinct to strike out at the cause driving my every thought and action. An insurmountable spire of suffering dominated my consciousness.

No, I can’t let it control me. I have to think. I have to remember. I’m the good pony. I have to-

Fight.

“No,” I moaned. “I don’t want to.”

Have to. Have to fight. Have to survive.

Have to kill.

“No, I… I’m not…”

A hoof gently touched my side, making itself known as a small irritation in contrast to the avalanche of agony.

They’re trying to finish you off.

They won’t. Fight. Kill. Live.

“I can’t.” I uttered miserably.

Why?

Why?

“I’M NOT A MONSTER!” I screamed, pushing the voices away. Whether they were Koe’s or mine, it didn’t matter. I would never stoop to what they wanted. I was in control, not them. I refused to hurt anypony else.

Then what are you doing?

It was only then that I became acutely aware of the spell I was casting. Through the agony of it all, I blearily opened my left eye.

Lemon hung suspended in the air, a dark blue aura wrapped around her throat. She pawed pitifully at the magic as her windpipe visibly compressed. Before the scene had totally registered, an audible crack pierced the air, and her legs fell limp. With a thump, the filly’s body crashed to the dirt, her eyes wide in confusion and pain.

It was as if the world itself had stopped turning. The night fell still, creatures hushed their muffled chatter, and everypony seemed to hold their breath. It all seemed so wrong, so out of place. Lemon couldn’t be dead, Grandma couldn’t be dead. When would we wake from this sick, twisted nightmare?

But it wasn’t a nightmare. The clock began ticking again, and it was met with a chorus of anguished foals.

The crowd of orphans immediately rushed to Lemon’s side. They pulled and yanked at her hide, desperate to wake her, but she did not stir. The screams and wails echoing from them rivalled any I’d been forced to hear in the Pit. The fear of death may be the farthest thing from undeveloped minds, but loss is something we are all immediately familiar with. In one fell swoop, these children had lost the entire foundation that had built this paradise in the darkness.

One by one, their attentions turned from Lemon’s corpse back toward me. Gone were the expressions of shock, replaced now by the purest of life’s emotions. One that nigh defined the era we found ourselves inhabiting. While there may be the odd pocket of contentment, what now shone brightly on all of their faces was what truly underlay our world.

Untethered hate.

Rowan emerged from the crowd, stalking up to me without any trace of fear to her gait. Her breaths were taken in shaky hisses between clenched teeth. A trail of tears poured from her dilated eyes, but behind that lay a scorching malice. She raised a hoof toward me. “KILL HIM!” she shrieked.

At once, the group rallied behind the cry and stampeded toward me. Their shouts of pain and hate filling the air like locusts.

Run.

I needed no further goading as I hurriedly threw my belongings in the bag, turned, and sprinted back toward the desert. The reserves of my adrenaline burned brightly as the most immediate pains fell away. A succession of heavy thumps marked a cascade of heavy stones narrowly missing me. Another crack of the rifle split the air as the bullet whizzed by overhead. Several more shots followed before the clip ran dry.

My lungs and legs burned from the exertion, but every part of my mind was screaming at me to keep going. I risked a glance behind me, noticing none of the orphans had given up on the chase. Not only that, Rowan continued to showcase her unrivalled agility as she kept pace. They were going to catch me.

I’m not sure what drove me toward the mushroom cave, but something at the back of my mind opined for the familiarity of caverns and darkness. It wasn’t like there was a whole lot of options either.

The remnants of my endurance stretched to their breaking point as I stampeded toward the cave. I could practically feel Rowan’s breath on my skin as she drew near until a substantial weight appeared on my rear legs. Sparing a look back, I found the filly wrapping her hooves around them, shackling me to the ground.

“You’re not getting away!” she hissed venomously.

“Please get off! Let me go!” I shouted back, desperately twisting and turning to escape her grip.

“Never!”

I glanced behind her, seeing the mob swiftly closing the gap. “I don’t want to fight you!”

Rowan sputtered out a manic laugh, “Well the feeling sure as shit ain’t mutual! You’re gonna suffer! YOU’RE GONNA DIE HERE YOU FUCKING MONSTER!”

That word further plunged the dagger into my heart. Every utterance of it made my skin crawl. But I had to get away. How was I going to get away?

Survive.

Kill.

“STOP IT!” I screamed, desperate to escape… everything. The world was crumbling down around me and I just wanted out. I needed out.

The answer came in a moment of vindictiveness surfacing in my panic, “Did you try this hard when they shot your brother? Or were you too much of a coward?”

Rowan’s look of bloodlust crumbled at my words, her eyes growing wide and guilty tears forming at their edges, “H-how did you- who told you-”

Her legs relaxed for just a moment, but that lapse was all I needed. The filly cried out before fully releasing my leg. I noticed then that another spell was being cast. This one wrapped itself around Rowan’s forelegs and pulled them back behind her shoulders. A wet crack filled the air as her limbs snapped.

Rowan shrieked and writhed on the ground. Part of me wanted desperately to go back to her, to apologize for everything. Every other part, however, knew that would be suicide. With the murderous mob not seconds away, I mumbled an apology and sprinted off toward the cave.

I took a corner too sharply and slipped, slamming into the edge of the cavern's mouth and breaking the old wooden barricade. The ‘No Trespassing’ sign fell atop me, giving a final reminder to steer clear of exactly what I was planning to do. I scrambled into the cave, further than when I gathered mushrooms with Lemon. Further than when I attacked Lilly. Further until the final remnants of light faded into the background and I was surrounded by darkness once more.

Only then did I pause to catch my breath, blanketed by the soothing isolation I’d grown to know well. For so long I’d rejected it, wanting nothing more than to emerge out into the light again, but now it seemed that wasn’t where I truly belonged. The darkness had no expectations of me. It hid the realities of the world away and only contained what I desired it to. It was paradise in the wake of what I’d just been put through.

A distant rumbling echoed in the distance as the orphans drew near.

Silence plagued us for an insufferable amount of time. Seconds stretched on until a shaky voice spoke up. “Y-you listen here, you s-s-on of a bitch,” Rowan stuttered, pain infusing her tone. “You b-best find a way to die in there, ‘c-cause the second any of u-us see y-you, you’re dead. DO YOUR HEAR ME?! DEAD!”

Koe started laughing.

It was by far the most ridiculous reaction I could have imagined after the night we’d been through. The contrast of his jovial giggling was enough to send a chill down my spine. What was there to laugh at?

What was so fucking funny?

Oh that would be you, my boy, he sneered through the laughter.

“M-me?” I asked. “What are you talking about?”

Another burst of manic chuckles echoed around my skull, After- *hehehe* after all of this, you still don’t understand? His perverse giggles never stopped, Oh you have been a treat.

“I- I can’t believe you,” I snapped, disgusted at his behavior. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. You were gonna help me save ponies. We were supposed to be heroes. What happened tonight that- that-”

Was a complete and total shit show. I know, I had a front row seat.

“So what are you laughing about?”

Hahahahaha!

“STOP IT!” I screamed. The echoes hammered back against my senses, but it wasn’t enough to drown out the laughter. “STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!”

Aw, what’s wrong, buddy? Did you- *hehehe* did you have a bad night? I thought it went pretty well.

“How could you think that?” I sputtered, desperately pulling the scraps of my composure together.

Oh Venture, Venture, Venture, he intoned dryly. You played your part so perfectly.

“What?” I gasped, horror settling across my mind.

Koe didn’t respond, instead the same chill I’d felt in my spine moved upward and trailed across my skull. I clutched at the feeling. It wasn’t painful, but I could tell it was… alien. Wrong. Then, just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

Slowly I peeled open my eyes and found a shimmering light before me, the same that had displayed the ghostly memories earlier today. I swiftly backed away from the image as it drew itself into clarity.

A facsimile of a young colt faded into existence. It’s features were familiar, too familiar. Before I could make another sound, I was in the presence of my own doppelganger.

“Hello Venture,” the shade me whispered in Koe’s voice.

“Wh- what are you?” I stammered, the seams of my mind coming undone.

“I’m you,” I- Koe said knowingly. The mirage started circling me slowly and, with every rotation, drawing nearer. “You should see the look on your face. Priceless.”

“What is this, what’s going on?” I asked desperately.

“Oh nothing, just the final act of our dynamic duo,” he started giggling again.

“What do you mean?”

“What, what, what, is that all you have to say?” Koe questioned tauntingly. “Well, I should have known I was going to have to spell it all out for you. So you may wanna take a SEAT!” The last word slammed into me like a charging bull. My backside instantly fell to the ground and cemented in place. I struggled against the pressure, frantically trying to escape, but every muscle tensed and remained still.

The doppelganger began tapping a hoof against his chin, “Where to begin? Well, I’m not that big a fan of long, drawn-out narrations so how’s about we go ahead and just skip to the point.” He stopped pacing in front of me and lifted my chin with a hoof. The contact between us ignited my flesh in a way no other touch ever had. It was like every time Chance had taken me all coalescing into a single brush of skin. I wanted to scream, but no sound emerged.

“You, your flesh, your will, they’re all mine now.”

“I-I-” I managed to croak as terror overwhelmed my mind.

“Through you, I will be born into this world,” the shade’s eyes grew wide and the most horrifying of sneers spread across his lips. “And you will be nothing but my puppet.”

After a monumental effort I squeaked, “H-h-how?”

“Well I’ll be cuddled to death by puppies, he finally asks a question worth asking,” Koe commented congratulatory as he patted me on the head. “Remember all those times I kept saying I can only make you do things you already wanted to do?”

I nodded weakly.

“So this is the fun part, every time you made the choice to go a little farther, to betray just one more facet of your morality, it fed me.” He began circling me once more, “Fed me and, little by little, gave me more control. And the cherry on top of this murder sundae? The blood of a true innocent.”

“Lemon?” I wheezed.

“Ding, ding, ding, ding, we got ourselves a winner folks,” he announced joyfully. “You see, as long as you were only picking off ponies that you perceived as evil, I couldn’t really do much but help you. So it was just a matter of expanding your definition of what ‘evil’ was.”

“You… conditioned me?” I murmured, finding the words coming easier now.

“By Luna’s loose sloppy cunt, this kid’s on a roll,” Koe answered.

“But I didn’t want to hurt Lemon,” I shot back.

“Certainly not at first,” he responded condescendingly. “But there was a moment, just like the old bitch, just like the griffin back in that hole, where you truly believed they all deserved to die. Whether it was for survival,” the griffin I’d fought briefly flashed in front of my vision, puking blood across the cavern floor, “revenge,” Tender Heart appeared, falling away from an ethereal ledge and screaming as she was devoured below, “or betrayal,” Lemon and the others appeared, looks of scorn across all of their faces as they turned their backs on me. “Every one of them, even for just a passing thought, you wanted dead.”

“I- no I- I didn’t.”

“Oh you did, not that it really matters now.” I suddenly felt compelled to stand. “Because now I’m running the show. You and me are gonna have a whole lot more fun out there. This is just the beginning.”

“Why are you doing this?” I asked pitifully. My world was coming apart. Everything I’d planned was crumbling to pieces. I just wanted to be a hero, to help other ponies. What did I do wrong?

Why was this happening to me?

“I dunno,” Koe answered as he shrugged. “I guess I just think that the wasteland would look so much better with a nice coat of red splattered around. And I think the rest of those kids are a good start. So let’s hop to it, mister. Time’s a wastin’.”

I took the first step forward, then a second, but halted my advance. “No,” I muttered.

“What was THAT!” Koe asked, the last word slamming against my consciousness.

“I… said… no,” I repeated, planting my legs in place.

“Your defiance means nothing,” the shade responded, sounding displeased for the first time in our discourse. “I’m calling the shots, you don’t get a say anymore.”

“You won’t… control me,” I hissed through gritted teeth. “I will… stop you.”

“Oh my good golly gee willickers,” he spat patronizingly. “You’re actually still trying to play the hero bit, aren’t you? Well I’ve got a question for ya.” Koe leaned right into my face until our muzzles were touching, “What kinda hero kills little old ladies and young fillies?”

“I know… what you’re doing,” I snapped back. “You’re not going to… break me.” I tried to turn away, back toward the rear of the cave, but it was as if enormous weights had suddenly been shackled to my legs.

“Is that a fact?”

I nodded, glaring daggers at the apparition.

“Ok then,” Koe mused. “How’s the eye?”

It spoke to how incredibly awestruck I was by Koe’s betrayal that losing my eye had fallen to the wayside of my focus. Strange as it was, however, it didn’t compare to realizing it was giving off no pain.

“Feeling better? Good,” he responded, taking my silence as affirmation. “I’d just hate it if you were experiencing any undue PAIN!”

Once more, his final word crashed over me. However, the feeling paled in comparison to the ignition of my right eye.

I clutched at the gaping socket and howled. Beyond everything I’d been forced to endure, nothing compared. Beatings, stabbings, rape. It seemed now that it had all been leading up to this.

“See?” Koe asked calmly, somehow cutting through my screams. “I’m the only one that gives the smallest nugget of shit about you now. I can take your pain away, and I can give it right fucking back.”

“You… son of a… bitch,” I gasped agonizingly.

He chuckled darkly, “Aw, are you mad?” The apparition flashed out of existence before reappearing before me. He locked our gazes together, and that macabre grin returned, “You’re nothing without me. Just a weak, snivelling little brat.”

“I’m not… weak,” I wheezed.

“Prove it.”

I lashed out viciously, trying to slam my hoof into his smug muzzle. Of course, the blow just passed through empty air.

“Oh yeah, go ahead and try to punch the voice in your head. That’s not crazy at all.”

“Shut up!” I screamed, continuing in the vain attempt.

Koe sighed, “You about done?”

My breath turned to shaky heaves, both through exertion and the unbearable ache.

“Good,” he continued haughtily. A blur of motion surrounded the image of my doppelganger as numerous copies began fading in from the darkness. Soon I was surrounded by a dozen sneering visions of myself.

“There’s no reason to fight it,” the original stated.

“You know what you really are,” another to my right continued.

“A killer,” said a third.

“A demon,” chimed a fourth.

“A monster,” proclaimed the first.

“Monster! Monster! Monster!” the gathering began to chant, their voices coalescing into a monophonic choir. The fake-me’s closed in, continuing the recitation, broken only by intermittent cackles.

“No, I’m not… please… st-stay away,” I begged, backing up as far as possible, but halted by the cavern wall. Just as the wave of phantoms looked fit to overwhelm me, I shut my eye and prayed to anypony that would listen.

Help me.

“Well, well, well,” a different voice cut through the quiet. “Lookie what we got here, Spikestrip.”

“Haha, very funny you prick,” a mare’s voice answered.

“Oh, sorry. Forgot,” the first voice, a stallion, answered. “It’s the kid. Ah told ya tha’s who they was chasin’.”

The squad of my doppelgangers faded away as the slavers trotted into view. They were clad in the same armor, save for the mare who’d removed her helmet and had a grimy cloth wrapped around her eyes. Spikestrip had a hoof on Noose, letting him lead her into the space.

“Well if’n this ain’t a sign that Celestia herself didn’t want us findin’ you, then Ah sure as shit don’t know what is,” Noose continued, drawing a knife as he spoke.

“Lemme at ‘im first,” the mare sneered. “Ah got a pretty big fuckin’ bone t’ pick.”

“Or an eye, am Ah righ-” Noose cut himself off as he looked a little more closely. He burst into a fit of manic giggles, “Holy griffin tits. Get a load o’ this, sis.”

“Uh, still blind, dumbass,” she snapped.

“Oh fuck. Well, ya might be happy t’ hear that we only got half a job. Somepony else already got started.”

“Sweet, sweet justice,” Spikestrip mused approvingly. “Although we ain’t the kinda folk who leave a job half done.”

“Nosiree,” he stared back at me. “So here’s how it’s gonna go. We jus’ wanna balance the scales a touch. So, as soon as my sis gets what she wants, you’re free t’ go.” Noose laughed, “Thing is, Ah think Ah’m jus’ gonna let her find her way to your eye on her own. Might take a couple tries but…” he leaned in close, “ain’t like we’re tryin’ t’ be caref-” he cut off again.

This time it seemed more to do with the blue magic gripping his throat. I seethed on the floor, rage hissing out of me like an old boiler. “I don’t… have the patience… to deal… with you.”

“Noose?” the blinded mare called out, confused by the turn in our discourse. “Wha’s goin’ on?”

I snapped my attention onto her. The spell tendriled toward the unaware slaver, curling around her neck as well. With a flick of concentration, both ponies shot into the air, gripping helplessly at the crushing aura.

“Is this what you want?!” I shouted, addressing the room. “Do you want to see a monster?! I’ll show you a Goddess-damned monster!” My head tilted slightly and my eye grew wide and deranged. A murderous smile spread across my face, and pure, undistilled fury seeped into the spell.

The heads of both slavers followed suit with mine, except their tilting didn’t stop. Panicked chokes echoed from the pair as their necks slowly pushed past the breaking point. Their faces turned toward each other, joining the siblings’ gazes in a single, horrifying moment of kinship.

CR-RACK!

Both slavers fell limp, tumbling to the floor as the suspending magic dispersed. Quiet returned in a thick curtain draped across the scene. I stared down at the corpses, until the blood dripping from my face began splashing against their cooling flesh.

I laughed.

There’s no sane answer as to why. Tears had been shed, blood spilled, lives stolen. The pony I wanted to believe I was had been slowly fading away in this malevolent nightmare. Condemned to the same corner of my mind that confined the dream guiding me down this path.

That trail ended here, where a pile of innocents lie dead, and more still condemned to the unknown. And now, standing as the final, monumental ‘fuck you’ that was today, the corpses of the only ponies that had deserved their fate.

It was just so… perfectly iniquitous.

What else was there to do but laugh?

The army of Koes reappeared at my side, wearing looks of pompous satisfaction. They said nothing as I continued to revel in the demented scene. Then, one by one, the shades joined me. Bursting into giggling fits, or full on bellowing guffaws. The joyous chorus resonated throughout the cavern and trailed off into the night. My doppelgangers began to shimmer and disperse, quieting the clamorous cackling until only one Koe and I remained.

“Well alright then, looks like we’re finally on the same page. Let’s get out of this shithole. There’s a whole wasteland of fun out there.”

“Leave?” I asked, gasping painfully past the giggles. A shining beacon of an idea cut through the fog of torment and hilarity. “Why would I… want to leave?”

The laughter vanished from his voice, “What?”

“What… what… what? Is that all… you have to say?” I panted, shakily smiling as blood dripped over my lips.

“You think you’re being cute?” Koe snapped, his mouth curling in anger.

“I’m... adorable,” I gasped as a murky darkness began to engulf my vision. “You need me… more than I… need you. Isn’t that right?”

The apparition stayed silent.

“You can do… whatever you want… to me,” I continued. “But you still need me… to walk out there… for you. Without me… you’re nothing.”

“A-are you legit standing up to me right now?” Koe asked, dumbstruck. “You can’t do that.”

“Can’t?” I asked incredulously. It was almost enough to set me off again, “With *hehe* with… everything I’ve been through today, you think you can… still scare me? I think we’re both very well aware… of what I’m capable of.” I pulled against the psychological weights ensnaring my limbs, dragging them like shackled boulders toward the shade. “You don’t… control me.”

“I suppose this means we’re at an impasse,” he whispered, eyes narrowing.

“Not really,” I muttered, shuddering as another wave of pain radiated from the empty socket. “I could just… end it. I almost did… before you showed up.”

“No, you can’t,” Koe responded, his smile returning. “There’s a big ol’ part of you that doesn’t want to die, just like everypony. That’s enough for me to work with.”

“Then how about… we go for a walk,” I pulled myself back up and turned toward the darkness further in the cave. There had to be a reason Tender Heart didn’t want the kids venturing too far in, something dangerous, and I intended to find it. “I don’t want to leave… so you can keep me standing here… until I starve to death… or you can come along… if you want.”

“Haha,” he laughed sarcastically. “Not like I have a smorgasbord of options.”

The weights suddenly lifted from my hooves, but the pain from my skull throbbed with a pulsing heat, constantly pulling my attention to the missing organ. I shot a look at my doppelganger.

“What? I didn’t say I was gonna be happy about it. Just remember that as soon as you get the inkling to run out of this place, you’re mine.”

“Not gonna happen.” With the worst enemy I’d ever known in tow, I ignited my horn and started walking further into the cave.

“So this was kinda… anticlimactic, huh?” the shade finally asked. “I really didn’t think you’d have the balls to stand up to me and now… ”

“Now the… thing that’s been pretending to be my friend is forced stay with me after his sudden, but I guess inevitable, betrayal?” I proposed. “How could I have been so stupid as to trust you? I knew what I was doing was wrong, and I still listened.”

“Because you didn’t want to die, and you wanted our friendship to be real,” he stated flatly. “You didn’t have a single pony that gave a fuck about you, and I let you feel like there was hope.”

“You don’t have to be so blunt about it,” I mumbled.

“What, that now you’re probably gonna die alone as a one-eyed freak?”

“Yeah, that,” I spat miserably.

Our conversation was cut short as a disconcerting metal shriek tore through the air. I was instantly on edge, looking all around for the source. The sound repeated itself, again and again, growing louder as we gained ground. Soon enough, it sounded like we were walking through some kind of foundry with metallic machinery working away tirelessly.

After rounding a bend, my hoof slipped. I fell to the ground and immediately began sliding down an incline, tumbling end over end until finally landing in a heap.

“Can this day get any fucking worse?” I asked to no one in particular.

“I can think of a few-” I cut him off with a glare, “-er nevermind.”

I dusted myself off before taking a look around. The noises seemed to be reaching their peak here. My light illuminated a huge, machine-drilled, circular space. The ceiling was at least twenty meters high, and every surface was perfectly smooth. It stood in sharp contrast to the rest of the cave, with its rough, hoof-dug walls.

The light came to rest on the opposite end of the room, and the source of the noises was instantly apparent. The wall was comprised of rusting metal. Hydraulic machinery was running the entire length, save for the center.

At the midpoint of the space lay an enormous gear embossed into the wall. It stretched a quarter of the way up toward the ceiling and had a short ramp leading up to it. A small console stood to the right, an array of dimly blinking buttons scattered across it. At the center of the gear stood a number, and I could barely make it out through the years of grime and rust.

42.

“What is this?” I whispered, dumbstruck.

“A-are you really asking me, or…”

I glanced back at the apparition, “Shut the fuck up, Koe.”

“Wow, rude.”

“Get used to it,” I snapped before warily stepping forward.

The closer we drew to the gear only further humbled me before its stature. My hooves made metallic clanks against the ramp as I approached. Finally, I was staring straight up at the single most alien thing I’d ever seen.

I gently ran a hoof along the smooth metal, causing several flakes of rust to tumble to the cavern floor. After a time, I walked up toward what I assumed were the controls.

“You’re not seriously thinking of trying to open this thing, are you?”

“Why not?” I asked, making a point of not looking at Koe.

“Maybe ‘cause you haven’t had the best of luck lately, and whoever built this thing may not have been trying to keep anypony out?”

I threw him a confused look.

“Maybe they were trying to keep something in,” he elaborated.

“Or maybe it’s the perfect way to keep you locked up where you can’t hurt anypony ever again, and you’re trying to convince me not to go inside,” I offered, surprising myself with how quickly I’d surmised the idea.

The shade raised a hoof for a moment, mouth agape and looking ready to respond, before he dropped it back to the floor and took on a grumpy expression, “You’re no fun when you can figure things out.”

“Well I’ve had to do a lot of learning the past few hours.” I scanned over the control panel, seeing a multitude of blinking and flashing buttons. Nothing seemed properly marked or remotely intuitive. However, a large portion of the controls was given over to a single, large button.

“You sure about this? We really could have a pretty sweet life together, wrecking shit throughout the wasteland, killing who we want, taking what we want. You get in there, there might not be any going back.”

“You’re trying to sweet talk me now?” I asked in disbelief. If I wasn’t in such crippling physical and emotional pain, it might’ve sounded funny. With a final shake of my head, I pressed the button.

A whirring sounded from within the console, and a wave of flashing passed over the controls. A distorted screen rose up from within and rows upon rows of text scrolled across it.

Stable-Tec OS V. 1.01A

Loading Into Memory 10%.

Loading Into Memory 50%.

Loading Into Memory 100%.

Welcome Stable-Tec Associate.

Error: No Stable-Tec Associate Found.

Non Stable-Tec Associate Detected.

Please State The Purpose of Your Visit.

“Um,” I stuttered, hesitant to answer a machine. “I’d like to come inside, please.”

Beginning Automated Stable Dweller Viability Assessment.

A metallic, oval object shot out of the top of the screen. It had a small, horizontal slit that emanated a red light. I stared curiously before it fired at me.

I yelped and ducked, watching overhead as the pale fan of red energy passed over the air where I’d just stood. It faintly reminded me of that slaver griffin’s strange rifles, and the ashen remains of their targets.

As I began to creep away, a tinny, female voice spoke up, “Please remain still while the viability assessment is in progress.”

Well I suppose, even if it does kill me, it’s not like that wasn’t what I’d partly been hoping for down here.

Shakily, I stood back up, meeting the eye-looking gadget again. Once more, the laser fired out and I braced myself for the inevitable disintegration. Instead, I felt a subtle warmth as a criss-cross of red light danced over me. After a few moments, the light faded and the device withdrew back into the console. A wire-frame of myself appeared on screen, spinning as various numbers and formulas scrawled over it.

“Unicorn stallion, twelve years of age, no reservations for entry match applicant’s description. Potential chemical dependencies, serious physical trauma (improperly performed exenteration), immediate medical attention required,” the voice buzzed. “Psychological makeup inconclusive, recommend further evaluation by Stable-Tec staff. Result of viability assessment… low priority for inclusion into Stable 42 residency.”

“Guess they don’t want ya,” Koe said tauntingly. “Surprise, surprise.”

“Shut the fuck up, Koe,” I said reflexively.

“Is this gonna be your new catchphrase or something?”

“If you don’t start listening, yeah it just might be.”

“Scanning current Stable population,” the terminal continued. “Medical staff: zero. Engineering staff: zero,. Education staff: zero. Custodial staff: zero. Administration staff: zero. Overmare position: unoccupied. Three-hundred of three-hundred reservations remain unclaimed. Likelihood of achieving this installation’s prime directive with current population: zero percent. Reevaluating potential Stable resident. Residency status: accepted. Please state your name.”

“Venture Forth,” I answered hesitantly.

“Welcome to Stable 42, Venture Forth. Your are one-hundred eighty-seven years, four months, and seventeen days past initial move-in period. Please visit the Auto-doc installed in this facility’s medical wing as soon as possible. Afterward, see Stable-Tec personnel for further occupancy instructions. Enjoy the following welcoming orientation.”

The screen changed over to a video. As the image came into focus, it portrayed an aging, purple, unicorn mare. Streaks of gray ran intermittently through her violet and pink mane, and years of stress hung in dark bags beneath her eyes. She sat behind a large wooden desk with her hooves pressed together atop it.

She looked oddly familiar. Upon closer inspection, she had a passing resemblance to the Masked Matter-Horn from my comics. Maybe the artist had used her likeness.

“Hello. For the few of you who may be unaware, my name is Twilight Sparkle, Ministry Mare of the Ministry of Arcane Sciences. I would like to personally welcome you all to Stable 42. The first of many in a line of collaborations between my ministry and Stable-Tec.

“You have all been hoof-selected as some of the brightest minds in our nation. So it stands to reason that there are those who may be questioning why this partnership took place. Especially with our government’s… displeasure in what they perceive as the defeatist mentality behind the founding of Stable-Tec.

“Well, if you’re watching this, then the reasoning for it has already proven itself. The Stables were created in an effort to preserve the lives of Equestria’s citizenry in the event of the worst possible outcomes of this war. However, it is the shared belief between my ministry and Stable-Tec that survival of a populace means little if it entails the loss of a millennium's worth of culture and knowledge.

“To this end we have decided to create a series of Stables, the first of which you are currently standing in. The focus of these facilities will be not only to protect you all, but to also entrust you with safeguarding the single largest collection of Equestria’s knowledge and history. The other installations will have differing fields of study, but this one is quite simple and, if I’m being honest, my personal favorite. You are to learn and pass down the knowledge recorded here. Preserve what we have, do not allow ignorance to govern the actions of our future generations.

“In conclusion. I am pleased to unveil to you all Stable 42 or, as I like to call it, The Library.”

The video feed fizzled and faded from the screen, just as an earthquake sent a shock of tremors through the space. I dived beneath the console, preparing myself for what felt like an eventual cave-in. The machinery began working harder, apexing at a high-pitched whine. Chunks of rock and rusting metal crashed to the ground, one nearly crushing my hoof as I swiftly drew it underneath me. Then, just as it seemed the entire cavern would collapse, all went silent.

Gingerly, I pulled myself out from beneath the controls, looking around dazedly.

“Sheesh,” Koe sighed, reappearing beside me. “And I thought I was anticlimactic. Hey Bitchlight Spankle, you’re blue-balling me here! I wanted to see something exci-”

A ringing alarm cut through the silence as a rotating red light flashed across the cave. Both of our heads swiveled in unison toward the giant gear, finding it begin to recess back into the wall with a metallic shriek. A grinding soon followed as the slab rolled to the side, bathing the space in a blinding, fluorescent light.

As my vision began to clear, the sight laid out before me stole the breath from my lungs. Tears of awe and joy stung at the corner of my eye. All my worries, if even just for a moment, suddenly melted away.

Books.

Shelves upon countless shelves spanned across every steel-laden wall. My legs seemed to move on their own as I stepped forward, passing beyond the entrance as another computerized voice droned on in the background. I barely registered passing through each room, only focussing upon the miraculous collection of volumes.

Each wing seemed devoted to a different subject or genre. Fiction to non-fiction, biology to fantasy. It seemed there wasn’t a single idea or theory unrepresented within this literary sanctum.

I paused after passing into a room marked, ‘Atrium.’ Four tall, curved bookshelves created a rotunda within the rectangular room. A balcony-esque second floor wrapped itself around the wall, meeting on either end of a large, round window in the center. A small sign beside the shelves read, ‘Staff Picks.’

I spun around in wonderment, basking in the glorious sight. Thousands upon thousands of books, all contained in a place that would keep us locked away from the world. It was the answer to my prayers.

It was home.

A shimmering to the side caught my eye. I turned to see, but the twinkling danced away. I cocked my head confusedly, bringing my flank into view as the source. My eyes widened as a flowing warmth radiated from the limb. Swirling motes of lavender magic slowly traced across my body before dispersing in a crackling boom of energy.

The spell faded from view, revealing a symbol across my flank. It appeared to be a gridded piece of parchment with a wavy, dashed line leading to a bolded X at the left edge. However, a jagged rip nearly split the paper in two, connected only by a thin strip at the bottom.

“A torn map?” I asked. “My special talent is a torn map?” I began wracking my brain for any sort of esoteric explanation for the cutie mark. Cartography? No, why it would it be torn? Adventuring? Couldn’t say how that correlated to right now. Recklessness? Not surprising, but I’d say locking myself in here was the most sensible thing I’d done all… my life. Finally, I arrived at what seemed the most realistic answer. “Losing my way? That seems fitting.”

Honestly? Finally receiving my cutie mark, besides feeling elated that it wasn’t a pile of bodies, didn’t seem all that imperative a worry at the moment. Maybe I could find a more positive inference later, but for now I just couldn’t summon the energy to care. Ignoring the normally monumental moment of self-discovery, I turned back toward the real prize.

The shelf labelled fiction seemed a tantalizing sight. Upon further inspection, I felt drawn to a somewhat familiar spine. I pulled out my burlap sack, sifting through the worn volumes and wooden music box. Delicately, I removed the half-copy of Daring Do and The Quest for The Sapphire Stone.

I didn’t even notice the tears dripping from my eye as I lifted the practically new copy of the same book from the shelf. Not only that, but a dozen more entries in the series sat beside it. I clutched the book closely, feeling it would be lost forever if I relinquished for even a moment. The hooffull of good memories I clung to all came rushing back. Learning to read, making friends with Ambrosia, the quiet moments when I could sit back and fantasize of living out my favorite stories.

Sharing that knowledge with Pike.

It all seemed a lifetime ago, and in many ways I suppose it was. Everything about me had changed in some way. The killings, the escape, the discovery of a new home, and the heart-wrenching agony of having it ripped away. Hell, now I even had my cutie mark, regardless of how nebulous or obvious its meaning was. But this memory, this feeling, it felt like the only scrap of comfort I had left.

Hesitantly, I pulled the book away and sat it gently on the floor, creaking open the binding. The music box levitated out, crank turning, and filled the room with the joyous melody. My necklace shimmered at the bottom, the princesses staring at me hopefully. Another burst of magic turned the pendant over as I started devouring the words.

The pain wracking my body, the trauma crashing against my sanity, and the vile, contemptuous voice that had spurred me to commit so many atrocities all quieted before the wondrous lands my mind could now escape to. Reality fell away, and all that mattered was navigating the treacherous Amarezon Jungle and thwarting the dastardly plans of Ahuizotal.

In the distance, I faintly made out the sound of the giant gear door closing once more. Sealing us away from the world outside. It barely registered as I delved further into my comforting escapism.

At the edge of my vision, the circle of Koes faded into existence once more, offering looks of condemnation and fury. I focussed intensely on the book, ignoring them in favor of the ecstatic prospect of finally finishing the story. The lights fizzled and dispersed, but not before an ominous whisper cut through.

This isn’t over.

Name: Venture Forth

Gender: Male

Race: Unicorn

Strength: 6

Perception: 8

Endurance: 7

Charisma: 2

Intelligence: 9

Agility: 7

Luck: 1

Unique Personality Traits:

Psychopath - You’re cold, calculating, and vindictive. You act without regard for pointless things like emotion and attachment, letting you size up and bring down opponents with lethal precision. Permanent +2 to Intelligence and Perception. However, your behavior makes others wary to trust you, and karma isn't exactly your friend. Permanent -2 to Charisma and Luck.

Cavepony - Ammo is harder to come by, and many weapons elude your understanding. However, after your years of pit fighting, you can make anything a weapon. Thrown rocks and other improvised weaponry have a 25% chance to critical hit.