After traveling down the hyper-space highway. Yeah, that’s about the closest thing I can think of to compare teleporting to. Everything just sort of blasts by you so fast all you can see is zooming white. We popped back into existence in the center of Golden Oaks Library...and I felt like I was going to lose my everything. I couldn’t vomit,I wanted to, but I couldn’t. My body was so unsettled that I sloshed right off of Twilight. I landed with a less than appealing splat. I felt like I was literally just put through a blender.

“Are you ok, Dante?” I heard Twilight ask, she was obviously concerned.

I was still pretty out of it. I made an attempt to speak which came out as a half squeak, half gurgle. Ugh, I felt like a wreck and sounded like one too. Think I’ll just...stay here and...not vomit.

My attempt to recuperate was interrupted by the feeling of a hoof touching me. “Dante? Please tell me you are okay.”

“Teleportation....sucks.” Even thinking that felt hard. Why did teleporting mess with me so much? I hate not knowing things. Ok, figure it out later. Maybe Celestia could give me some kind of clue.

“I’m sorry, had I known teleporting would have this effect on you I’d just let us walk back.” Twilight’s sincerity was apparent without me having to be connected to her.

“All good. Just don’t...do that again. Please.” I was begging but honestly even the nastiest hangover had nothing on this. I was partially thankful I didn’t get the same reaction from dragon fire. I couldn’t imagine dealing with this twice. I might not be able to vomit, but at this point, I’m willing to get creative.

“I will. I’m going to go get everything ready for your trip. See if you can try to...reform a bit. You look like a puddle.”

“Yeah...that’s pretty accurate. Can you ask Spike if I can link with him for a bit? I really need to be attached to someone right now.” It was weird that I knew that. I just felt this instinctual need to be attached. I appreciate that my body knows this, but I had to admit it was just weird my own body knew more than I did.

Twilight broke contact and informed Spike of my request. He didn’t seem to mind too much. I felt him pick up my puddled mass in his claws. Don’t ask me how I didn’t just melt through his claws but I somehow held together. I slowly but surely made my way to Spikes crest. The second I linked up with him I immediately felt better. “Aaaah, thanks Spike. I owe you one.”

Spike’s concern was pretty apparent by his thoughts alone, “It’s cool, Dante. It’s weird though, I know ponies get a bit nauseous when they teleport for the first time, but you looked...well...you were a puddle.”

“Well aware, Spike. If it’s cool, I’m just gonna rest...I just feel like...garbage.” I sounded like I had just gotten the crap beaten out of me. I couldn’t help it.

Spike didn’t question further. I could still see through his eyes, but I just kept quiet and just let myself adjust. I spotted Twilight on the upper floor scribbling on some parchment. She also had the box I had arrived in before. I hadn’t noticed before but it was really ornate. There were some fancy markings along the edge and some golden trim for accent. I thought the inside was fancy but now that I see it from the outside I was really impressed. Celestia knows how to hook a guy up.

It took a minute or two for Twilight to finish her letter and bring box down to Spike. “How’s he doing, Spike?” I heard Twilight ask.

“He’s been pretty quiet. I think the teleport really messed him up.”

“It did, but feeling better now. I just really don’t want to separated for too long.” I sounded a bit better. Being attached to Spike had really helped. It’s moments like this that I realize how dependent I am on others. I shudder to think what would have happened if I hadn’t attached to somepony when I arrived. Well, dwelling on what-ifs is bad for my psyche, so best get to Celestia and see what my spy mission entailed. Hopefully, things wouldn't turn....ooohohoho, neuwp! Not doing that again. Can’t jinx me thrice, brain!

Spike relayed my thoughts to Twilight. She nodded and opened the box for me. I slithered down off of Spike and into the box. “We’ll see you when you get back, Dante.” Twilight said to me.

“Yeah, get back soon.” Spike added. I gave a nod and the box was closed. Within seconds the box was off the ground and a familiar *foosh* signaled my departure.
________________________________________________________________________

Like before, I felt my box hauling ass. The majority of my body pressed against the back of the box. It took the same amount of time as before, only a few minutes before another *foosh* announced my arrival and the return of gravity. I could hear some voices talking outside the box, with aura sight I saw the radiant yellow aura that could only belong to Princes Celestia. There was another aura of a deep midnight blue and another that was a shade of pinkish purple. Hmmm. The midnight blue aura must be Luna. Who’s the other one? Better take a listen.

“Are thee absolutely sure about this, Tia? Are thee sure he is up to the task?” Ok, that was definitely Luna. Couldn’t miss that royal “we”.

“I understand Luna. He is new to our world, and is still learning about his capabilities, but I believe he can help. Despite a bit of a foul mouth, I believe he has both the capabilities and the heart for the task.” Motherly tone, sense of regality with a splash of authority. Yup, definitely Celestia....also I really need to filter my thoughts...like FCC filter them.

“Why are you so trusting of this creature, Princess? I’ll admit that he has my appreciation for saving your life, but as Captain of the Royal Guard I feel this mission should fall under our supervision.” Ok, this guy sounded familiar. His sounded a aggravated and there was bit of a California surfer accent in his voice. Wait, Captain of the Royal Guard? Was this Shining Armor? Am I about to meet Twilight’s brother and future ruler of the Crystal Empire?! COOL!

“You are quite right, Captain Armor. It is for that reason, Dante will be under your supervision for the entire duration of this operation.” I was going to be WORKING with Shining Armor? Ok, having some mixed feelings now. Shining didn’t get a ton of screen time. I know he’s protective, hence the shield on his flank, but other than that I didn’t know much else about him other than what happened at the end of season two and the beginning of season 3. He did seem to have a fairly kind disposition, but I think that’s mostly with Twilight. Well, guess I’d figure it out soon.

After Celestia’s last comment, Shining’s attitude changed a bit. He sounded a bit confused, “So, the Royal Guard will have jurisdiction in this?”

“Yes, Dante will be working under your supervision and I believe you will find his abilities useful in this situation.”

“And you believe he will follow orders? You haven’t really explained what kind of...personality he has.”

Well, then.Time to make my presence known and make some introductions. A few well placed shoves ought to do it.

*Thunk* *Thunk* *Thunk*

I saw all three auras turn to look at the box. “Ah, looks like Dante has arrived. Captain Armor, would you be so kind as to host Dante for a bit? I’m sure you’ll determine his personality rather quickly. ”

Shining’s form seemed to hesitate a bit. “Host him? What do you mean?”

“Dante’s form requires a host for him to communicate and use his abilities. If you don’t mind, could you please be his host. I’d appreciate it”

I could tell Shining was still a bit unsure about the idea, but he agreed reluctantly,“Uh...very well, your highness.”

Shining approached the box and slowly opened the lid to expose me. I couldn’t make out his expression but based on his cocked head I wasn’t what he expected. I quick cursory glance showed I was on a desk, so I took my leave of the box. My volunteered host was now inspecting me. “This...is Dante?” He inquired skeptically. Well, what were you expecting, living body armor? Screw it, time to get comfy. With a lunge of my body I made contact with Shining’s guard armor and made my way up his shoulder. His body tensed up the second I made contact and I’m certain he had attempted to grab me. Unfortunately for him, I was well out of his reach both physically and magically. Once at my destination, I got comfy and let the connection settle.

“Suuuuup, Brah?” I greeted my new host. I couldn’t help myself, the surfer-esque accent was just too easy not to pass up. With the connection made, I could now see the room a lot more clearly. This wasn’t Celestia’s room. It looked more like a war room. Various walls had maps on them, some showing Equestria and various regions: Baltimare, Manehaten, Fillydelphia, and a few other locations. I also spotted a few maps showing the Griffin Kingdom and the Dragon Highlands. Neat! I also spotted a large circular table, I guess they used that to lay out the maps and plan stratagems. A few racks of spears and swords further confirms this was indeed a war room.

“I-what?! What did he just do?” Shining asked out loud. He was still on alert after my minor assault. He looked to Celestia and Luna for an answer.

Celestia let out a small giggle while covering her mouth with a hoof, “This is how Dante connects. Currently, he is linked to you. He will experience the same sensations you do, and he will be able to hear your thoughts and you can hear his.” Celestia sat down on her haunches next to Luna who was already sitting. “He’ll be attached for a bit but it is not permanent.”

Shining seemed to relax a bit. “Yeah, I’m just leasing for now.” I let my tendril come out and presented it to Shining Armor. “Dante Morelo, please to meet you Captain Shining Armor.”

To his credit Shining Armor didn’t flinch at the presented tendril. He did hesitate a bit, mostly due to how he was inspecting it. His mind mimicked his curiosity as he pondered both my intentions and my tendril. “Relax, I’m just trying to be courteous. Ask Celestia, I’m harmless. I just tend to end up in bad situations.” Shining pondered my words, he seemed to believe me. He took my tendril and gave it a fair and firm shake. “Nice to meet you, Dante. How bad have the situations been?”

“Ask Celestia how we met. ‘Nough said.”

Again, Shining was curious. So he inquired about my meeting with the Solar Monarch. After a quick recap, Shining’s jaw was resting in a crater on the floor. “Yeah, THAT bad. Trust me, I can’t lie to you...Well I can, but you’ll know.” Shining picked his jaw off the floor and really started thinking about what I said.

“Look, sorry to throw this all at you. Just, I’ve never been given this kind of responsibility before, and never from a ruler of a nation. The way I am now...there is a sort of trust between my host and myself. I’ve got nothing other than trust. Seriously, it’s all I’ve got. I trust you to point me straight...and well, I’m hoping I don’t screw up. Oh, you can speak out loud if you want, but if you focus on your words in thought I can hear them too.”

I felt Shining continuing to mull over my words, considering several scenarios, and determining what to do with me. Something must run in the Sparkle family, because both Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle seemed to be amazingly skilled at processing info and applying it to hypothetical situations. I could come up with three or four at best, Shining was on ten by the time I got to three. It took a moment or two but he settled on what to do, “I can see why you trust him so much, Princess. He seems to lay it all on the line. I’m willing to trust him.”

Booyah! “I wouldn’t ‘booyah’ just yet. I do have some conditions. I trust you but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to take some precautions.” Wow, he learns quick. Well, he is in charge. He wouldn’t be captain without good reason. “Understood, Captain.”

Shining turned to face the Celestial Sisters. “I think it’s time we went over the details with Dante, your majesties.”

Celestia and Luna both stood. Celestia grabbed the letter sent alone with my container and made her way out of the war room along with Luna. Shining wasn’t far behind. “Where are we heading?” I inquired. I guessed we were still in Canterlot Castle, but I’d never seen this part of it before.

“We’re heading to the dungeons. Do you recall the assassin you stopped a few days ago?”

“I remember she was a unicorn...I was more focused on holding her down. Why?”

“Shortly after that altercation, the mare awoke and we began questioning. It seems you left a bit of an impression on her.”

“Considering I was attached to Celestia, I’ll guess our assassin didn’t like the makeover I gave Celestia.”

Shining chuckled, “Something like that. You and Princess Celestia spooked her so much, she was more willing to talk to Princess Luna and her guards. Her name is Fire Starter, and from what we learned she is a member of some rebel group attempting to usurp the throne. We aren’t sure of their numbers or when they might strike next. That’s where you come in.”

“Okay. What’s my role?”

“Well” His tone turned solemn and very serious, “it took some convincing but we managed to get groups meeting place, unfortunately the second she told us she lost consciousness.”

Well, this can’t be good.“Like she just dropped? Any idea why?”

“We didn’t notice that there were runes on her horse-shoes. The Princesses determined the runes were meant to knock her out. For now, she’s in a very deep magical sleep.”

“D’oh fuck.”

“Language.” he quickly retorted harshly.

“Sorry....but really, that’s messed up. Will she ever wake up?”

“The royal doctors have checked her for the last two days and they haven’t noticed a change. She’s stable but we’re not certain if she will wake up.”

Well, I can see how this is a problem. So we have an assailant with information, but she’s in a coma. So where do I...wait, she's sleeping. She’s not conscious. Which means if I...oh, balls.

“You want me to control her don’t you?” I was really hoping this wasn’t-

“Yes.”

Uuuuuuugh. “Since we were able to get the location of where they meet, we want you to go to there as her and see if you can find any information.”

Well, that doesn’t sound too bad. “However, should you encounter one of the rebels we want you to try and infiltrate their ranks and learn as much as you can about their next course of action.”

....I did it again. I’m my own worse enemy. One day I’m gonna jinx myself into something horrid. I don’t know what it’ll be, but it’ll be horrid.

“Uh...ok. So...Am I going this alone?” I was sure they weren’t going to send me in by myself, but having some confirmation would be a wonderful booster.

“Of course not. We’ll be sending you in with another guard. Should you encounter any of the rebels you and her will use a cover story we’ve created. With any luck, they’ll believe it and the two of you can try to gain as much information as possible. ”

Woo, needed that confidence boost. But hey I’m going in with a partner! Sweet. I wonder who they- (wait, Shining said “her”) who she is. Guess I’d find out later, we arrived at the dungeon. It felt very stereotypical. A long concave hallway that housed several dozen cells. The only light source seemed to be the setting sun. About two cells down on the left, two guards stood at attention. Inside the cell was the sleeping body of a familiar mare. I hadn’t gotten a good look at her before, but now I could see a lot more detail. She had a light orange coat with a near white mane that was bit wavy, her tail matched. I spotted her horn protruding out of her mane. She was unnaturally still, aside from the slow rising of her chest. If I didn’t know better, I’d say she was just sleeping. “Uh, Captain? Mind if I ask a question?”

“Go ahead, Dante.”

“When she was awake, what was she like? Was she cursing Celestia’s name? Was she remorseful? I’d like to know how she acted.” Honestly, I was secretly debating whether I should really dislike this mare or feel sorry for her.

“For the first day, she was a pain to handle. She was claiming that Princess Celestia helped to kill her husband and that the Princess was a she-demon. The day after, she did a full one-eighty. She was sad, regretful, and way more cooperative. It was so strange, none of us knew what to make of it.”

Well, that’s interesting. I don’t know anything else that can cause that kind of emotional flip-flop... Well, I’ll get some more details and info about how I should feel, later. I’d get the rest of that info face-to-face. A quick removal and slither, I was attached to my new host. I’m sure the guards were confused for a second when I passed by them. I could tell she was dreaming. I caught flashes of a tall, light blue stallion. Fire Starter was running towards him, she was happy. He seemed happy. She seemed completely ignorant of my presence. I let her dream assassin or not, everyone deserves to enjoy a good dream. I felt bad for her. I couldn’t tell you why, but I just felt bad for her.

I did some quick checks to make sure I had control. Everything responded to my command, so I got the eyes open and my host on their feet. I had to shake off some stiff joints but I was good to go. “Okay, ya’ll. I’ve assumed direct control. Mind letting me out?” I inquired, my hosts voice had a slight British accent (boy, do I feel classy). Shining was looking impressed. Celestia and Luna had the same expression, somewhere between amazed and stunned. The guards were, well, on guard(bad pun is bad, I’ll take the punishment), and had already gotten their spears pointed at me. Shining got them to stand down and open the cell door. I made my exit and propped myself in front of Celestia, Luna, and Shining Armor. “Ok, I wouldn’t call this the best face-to-face, but it’s as good as it gets for now.” I bowed before Celestia and Luna respectfully. I took a seat and noticed two distinct presences beside me. Both of the guards from before didn’t seem to want to take any chances. I didn’t protest, I might have tendril arms but I don’t have eyes on the backs of my host’s head. Shining dismissed the two guards under the logic that two alicorns and the Captain of the Royal Guard could easily handle a single unicorn mare. The guards left without protest, although one of them did stop before leaving and gave me the “I’m watching you” gesture.

Celestia took the initiative, “So, I’ll assume Captain Armor has gone over most of the details with you, Dante?”

I nodded, “Yeah, he gave me the rundown. I’m to check out this meeting place with somepony else and report back with anything useful. If we encounter others, we’re to try and get in with them.”

Celestia nodded with a half-smile, “Very good. Thank you for doing this Dante. I realize this is a lot to ask of you after what has happened.” Her face turned a bit more sullen. “I wouldn’t ask this of you if it wasn’t important or if we had other options. I will make sure you are properly compensated when this is all done.”

“I..um, thank you, Princess. I appreciate it.” I added. It’s weird, Celestia pretty much exudes this...presence. When you’re in front of her you feel like you need to show the utmost respect, lest the sun, itself, come down upon you. Then there was that motherly tone. Even if she wasn’t my mom, dear lord, she could make herself sound like she was.

Luna chimed in as she noticed the sun dipping towards the horizon. “We best proceed to the barracks. Night Glory shall be awakening soon. We shall explain the rest of the details when she is in our presence.”

Sweet! Time to meet my partner for my awesome (maybe kinda dangerous) mission. Let’s do this!

Author's Notes:

Oh man, now we're getting somewhere. I'd like to thank Nightmare Jerremy for inspiring the name of the chapter. Also the story is almost at 1,000 views! SWEET MERCIFUL JEBUS! You guys are amazing. Thanks for reading my story. Thanks for all the suggestions and thanks for pointing out all my spelling/grammatical errors.

Unfortunately, a bit of bad news (kinda). I'm going on a week long trip. I can't guarantee I'll have good internet reception so I may not be able to post chapters for a bit. If I can I will. Anyway, wanted to keep ya'll in the loop. Stay awesome, guys!