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A Second Chance

by Jay David

Chapter 113: Shameful Secrets

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It had always seem strange to Twilight. The contrast between the two places was a distinct as night and day, and yet, there they were, side by side for years. Ponyville, a small countryside town, quiet, peaceful and friendly. And there, right beside it, the Everfree Forest, a dark, dangerous and wholly hostile realm of fierce beasts and untrustworthy plants. Having the two remain beside each other without much incident over the years had always been a mystery in itself, and not even Twilight, with all her knowledge and memories of the future, had ever been able to understand it fully. Regardless, the Everfree was their destination now, and that was what she had to focus on. So, she waited, counting the moments as she stood at the mouth of that vast and darkened realm. In another timeline, this place would have been far more dangerous than what it was now, and that was saying something. In this timeline, however, Twilight was more than capable of fending off whatever threat she or her friends had to contend with. And speaking of whom, it wasn't long before Twilight heard the sounds of approaching hoof-steps, and so turned to look upon those she knew were coming. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity and Pinkie Pie were all arriving, and upon their faces were looks of determination, for they knew what was needed of them today.

But it was what they wore that now caught Twilight's attention. For there, hanging from her friend's necks, were the Elements of Harmony. Each of the mares had kept their respective necklaces in their own homes since the night Twilight had changed from unicorn to alicorn, but now, they were reunited once more. Loyalty, kindness, honesty, generosity and laughter, now together with her own Element, magic, which currently rested atop her head. But, Twilight's expression soon became one of concern, for she could now see that, much like her own, the Elements of her friends were showing the signs of failure, with their jewels each flickering like a dying candle-light. No words passed between them, but instead they simply gave each other a glance. They knew the dangers that might well face them on this journey, but they were willing to go all the same. So, letting out a deep sigh, Twilight turned, looking upon the entrance to the Everfree, standing beside her friends, just as she had on her first night in Ponyville, and much like that night, now stepped forward, ready to save Equestria again. The other mares followed, and for a long while, they said nothing, simply letting Twilight lead them where she undoubtedly knew to go. In the past, they might have wondered how she knew which direction to go in, but now, there was little point in asking such things.

As was expected, many of the mares looked around fearfully as they travelled through this dark and foreboding forest. Every random animal sound or far-away screech caused a few glances around them, or a noteworthy "eep" out of Fluttershy. She, Pinkie and Rarity took up the rear, while Twilight, Rainbow and Applejack were a little further ahead, making headway through the dense bushes and ancient vines that littered the place. Every once in a while, Twilight would turn to one of her friends, seeing the lights on their Elements continue to flicker. Instinctively, she wanted to run as fast as possible, but in this dangerous place, she didn't want to risk leaving any of her companions behind her. As for other means of getting around, it wasn't long before Applejack decided to enquire about it.

"Um...Twilight? Can't y'all just use that fancy teleportin magic of yers?"

But Twilight simply shook her head at that.

"Under normal circumstances, I'd consider it. But I don't want to risk exposing the Elements to any other kind of magic right now. This is unexplored territory for me, AJ, and I can't run the risk of getting it wrong right now."

Applejack nodded, accepting the answer, yet still grumbling about the fact that they still needed to traverse this place on hoof. However, it was just a little further along their current path that Rainbow began to speak up herself.

"So...what do you think we'll find when we get there?"

Yet again, Twilight shook her head.

"Hard to say. If it is the tree dying...then we'll just give it the Elements and, with luck, that should fix the problem."

Hearing that, Rainbow let out a grunt.

"Ugh! It sucks that we have to give them back like this."

But Twilight, hearing her friend's words, turned to her with a serious expression.

"Rainbow...I know the future. The Elements will never be needed again after today. And even if they were...the tree needs them more than we do."

Slowly, Rainbow's expression began to soften, and she nodded, accepting her friend's answer. But, while Twilight had meant what she'd said, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was just off about this whole situation. The tree, in theory, should have lasted for ages without the involvement of the plundervines. For it to suddenly lose its life like this didn't make sense, unless there was some other influence at work here. And that thought, above all else, made Twilight nervous. In her heart she truly wished that handing the Elements over would be all they'd need to do when they got over there. But if there was more to this, then she silently, yet reluctantly, acknowledged that they'd just have to cross that bridge when they got to it. Many minutes passed and that thought continued to squat in her mind, and it wasn't long afterwards when the group began to reach a familiar sight. It was a river than ran right through the forest, but littered with large boulders, providing the way across. A nostalgic smile appeared on Twilight's face, for she remembered well how her friends and her had put this pathway together on the day they'd first met. But, her expression became one of seriousness once more, for she knew that there was no time to waste. So, taking the lead, she began to hop from stone to stone, with her friends close behind her.

Once on the other side, the group resumed their journey, and through it all, Twilight couldn't help but think of her son back home. Seeing Spike that way, so utterly without energy, helpless as he was, it broke her heart to think of it. Resolve now crossed her face. She would get this right, and she would see her son, and everypony else, back to normal. But, as she considered that, she failed to notice Rarity approaching from behind, until the fashionista began speaking to her.

"I must say, Twilight...I'm curious as to how this all went in...well...your history."

Twilight found herself rather taken aback by that. After all, it was the first time any of them had actually asked her about just how different things were between timelines. It was a new thing for her to have to deal with, and so, after walking a bit further in silence, she cleared her throat before giving her friend an answer.

"Well, Rarity...it was quite a journey. The plundervines were all over the place, stopping us at every turn. In the end, we almost didn't make it in time. But, as always, we did."

Thoughtfulness crept onto her face as she considered that.

"It was my first serious challenge after Celestia made me a princess. But...I had all of you there to help me...just as I always did."

Those word brought silence to the surrounding mares, each of whom now looked to each other in various ways. Sensing the discomfort this was all bringing, Pinkie, in her usual way, decided to try and lighten things up.

"Well...think about it this way, Twilight. It'll be a lot easier for us this time with no mean old vines stopping us!"

Turning to her, Twilight smiled, showing clear appreciation at her friend's obvious attempt to cheer her up. But, she didn't have the chance to speak, as Pinkie continued on soon afterwards.

"I mean, if things got too serious, then who knows what you might do? Like...you could go all gloomy and deep like you were before your big alicorn thingy happened."

The smile immediately faded from Twilight's face as she considered that, her mind recalling the fear she had felt on that day. Turning, her words were now hushed once more.

"Um...yeah, I guess."

But, it was not something she was able to escape for much longer. For mere moments after Pinkie's own words, many of the other mares started to really consider what she'd just said. They all thought back, remembering that night when Twilight had transformed into an alicorn, and felt, deep down, that something had felt wrong about that, about the way she’d spoken to them. There had been tears, talk of how important they all were to her, and it was more akin to a goodbye than anything else. They looked to each other, seeing the shared uncertainty they bore, until, at last, it was Rainbow who spoke first.

"Er...Twilight? Why did you talk to us like that back then?"

Instantly, a look of great discomfort arrived for Twilight, and she did her best to avoid her friend's gaze.

"Let's...let's just focus on the tree, shall we?"

But, to her shock, she found that Applejack, in a flurry of movement, leapt in front of her, barring her path and glaring at her intensely.

"Wha...Applejack?! What are you...?"

"Yer gonna stop right there, Twilight! Y'all are hiding somethin from us again, ain't ya?"

Twilight turned, seeing each of her friends look to her with piercing gazes. They all sensed that something was wrong with her. Something she hadn't told them. But, after she looked to them, she then turned to Applejack with a frown.

"Applejack...we don't have time for this! The tree is...!"

"The darn tree can wait! Ah wanna know what yer keepin from us, right now!"

It was clear from the fierce look on her face that there was no negotiating on this point, much to Twilight's chagrin. She had hoped, in her heart, that she could avoid this. She didn't want to tell them, for it was, perhaps, the most shameful thing that she'd ever kept from anypony. Something which had occurred to her right before she used the Elements to ascend. And yet, here they were, her friends, all demanding an answer from her. She thought to herself that, perhaps, this might damage whatever relationship she had with them at this point. But then, given everything that had happened between them already, it soon dawned on her that, maybe, this was the right thing to do. Her friends wanted honesty, and for as long as she'd been with them, that had been the one thing she'd constantly denied them until recently. If they weren't going to continue this journey until she was open to them, then so be it. Steeling herself, Twilight took a deep breath before starting to explain herself.

"A short while before I cast that spell...the spell that led to me being what I am now...I...I tried using the Element if Magic...without the rest of you."

The mares watched her carefully, seeing the brief wince on her face as she recalled the pain of that day.

"It was...bad. The negative feelings I’d carried with me since I first used the Element had tainted it, filled it with corruption that twisted what it was and what it should have been capable of. On its own...it did nothing but cause me pain."

Slowly, she began to walk away from the group, though they still kept their eyes on her, until she reached a nearby tree, wherein she gently placed a hoof upon it before continuing.

"In the first timeline...it was all six Elements being together that were what transformed me from unicorn to alicorn. In this timeline...I wasn't sure if it would be the same."

The other mares gained look of confusion, prompting Rarity to speak up next.

"What do you mean, darling? If it wouldn't transform you, then...what would it do?"

Twilight hung her head slightly before answering.

"Given what I knew had been done to my own Element...there was...one idea I had as to what would happen."

She did not finish that sentence, but instead, began to slowly turn around. When she did, she looked upon her friends with a look of utter melancholy. It took a few moments, but one by one, her friends soon began to understand, and in this moment, they gained looks of sheer horror, realising what their friend had expected to happen that day. Needless to say, Rainbow was more than a little vocal about that.

"Are...are you crazy! You mean to tell us those things could have killed you?! And you still had us use them?!"

Twilight nodded at that.

"I did. My transformation was something I...I had to know if it would still have happened. But..."

In a moment, she looked away from them, pure shame crossing her face as she did so.

"...there was another reason I had to go through with it. I did it because...I just...I felt that..."

Slowly, she looked to them once more, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"...I had to accept responsibility."

Yet again, it took a while for her friends to full grasp what was said to them. But this time, when understanding dawned, they looked on with even greater shock, some shaking their heads as if they refused to believe it. Twilight stood there, feeling almost heartbroken at yet again causing her friends such distress, but, through it all, she didn't notice a timid young pegasus moving through the group, walking right up to her. Twilight gazed at last upon Fluttershy, as the latter looked right into her eyes, seeing nothing but honesty there. Quietly, the yellow mare spoke, her voice as soft as ever.

"Twilight...did you...did you...want to die?"

The young alicorn's eyes shut tight, her aforementioned tears finally flowing, as she gave a single nod.

"I didn't want to admit it to myself...before or after the spell was cast, but...yes."

Fluttershy's expression was completely neutral, a stark contrast to that of her friends, who looked on with shock at Twilight. Eventually, the young alicorn got more words out, though her voice was still wobbling from her crying.

"From...from the moment I set hoof in Ponyville...I've made mistakes…and a lot of them. I lied to you. I pretended to be somepony I'm not. I took your lives...the lives of others...the fate of Equestria itself...into my hooves, to make them all the way I wanted them to be. I took time and history, grabbed it by the throat, and demanded...be what I want you to be."

She looked away, her voice dripping with shame.

"I hurt people...I condemned people...I've even killed. And all so I could...so I could change the world to be perfect…like a puppet on a string."

Applejack hung her head low, her past words now tasting more than a little bitter when spoken by another. But, even in spite of that, she said nothing as Twilight continued.

"I didn't want to think of it as such...but...I suppose, in some deep, dark corner of my heart...a part of me demanded that I put myself through that. To put myself through that risk of death by the Elements...to atone for my mistakes. I had committed crimes all in the name of helping the word...taking control of things where I had no right to do so. I have stood in judgement of many since I came to Ponyville. If I were to allow my own deeds to go unpunished…then what authority do I have to judge others?”

A sigh escaped her after that.

“If my life ended on that day...then maybe...maybe I'd have finally paid for my great error."

Her words had been spoken. Her secret laid bare. Her shameful desire that, perhaps, even she had not fully realised she had on that night. Slowly, she looked to the other mares, and each of them stood there, utterly aghast at everything they'd just heard. They didn't know how to react to what they'd learned here, but then, how could they? How could anypony possibly react to hearing that one they'd known had, in one brief moment, actually wanted such a thing to happen to them? And so, they simply stood there, in silence, staring at Twilight with horror across their faces. All, that is, except for Fluttershy. The quiet pegasus did stare at her, but her expression was hard to read. If Twilight had to guess, she'd say that her usually-shy friend was deep in thought over this matter, not like Twilight could actually blame her for it. But the last thing she wanted right now was to be in this place, especially after having said what she'd said. There was, after all still a tree to save, and if they didn't get a move on right now, they might not have any time left. So, after moving away from Fluttershy, Twilight saw, out in the distance, the distinct form of the castle of the two sisters, rising out above the tree line ahead of them. Taking a deep breath, Twilight exhaled before looking to her friends with sadness in her eyes.

"Girls...let's just get this over with."

Next Chapter: The Tree of Harmony Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 48 Minutes
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