Sweetie gasped and shivered so hard she woke herself up from her dreamless sleep.

She was lying on a blanket, under a thin sheet of metal that passed for a roof, which barely kept the heat away, although at least she wasn't under direct sunlight. Her diary was closed and lay next to her, Twilight's fragments rotating above it like some sort of fancy, magical clock.

She wanted to write in it, clear her mind, but she didn't want to touch it right now either. She knew what was in between those pages. A cruel joke at the cost of her sanity, her life, and her self-respect. Something she had denied herself and been denied after that.

Twilight Sparkle had lied by omission. She had said some truths like how Sweetie had failed, how she had hurt others that loved her. How she had become somepony deplorable and full of guilt to the point of suicide. She had told her, truthfully, that she could make a choice. Stay and hurt more and watch somepony she didn't know now—but who she had hurt deeply—die over a drug addiction, doing more harm than anything, if she thought about it.

She had not been told about her daughter. About the fact that there was filly out there that needed a mother that could—would—be better. But she had left. Even if she didn't know. She had decided to walk away because she was afraid of what she could become again. She didn't want to become Applebloom… she didn't want to become herself in that situation again.

She had known she had addiction problems… she knew. She had gone drinking and drank much more than she should have. She had immediately sought out bars and learned how to mix drinks. All of this before suddenly finding herself resurrected with no ill-effects, her body cleansed to the last faery crystal particle of her existence. How could she? She sniffled. How could she have stayed, being so afraid of herself?

"You're awake."

The voice was familiar, even if she couldn't really place it. Sweetie blinked against the glare of the sun, seeing in contrast the figure of the pony that had approached her. She was tall, slim, graceful and clearly had wings and a horn. "Princess Celestia?"

The female alicorn snorted and stepped into the shade, making the little shelter a bit cramped. Her coat wasn't white, purple or blue, it was a gentle green, which somehow seemed to be melting into a light yellow at the hooves and tips of the mane with occasional deep blue mixed in. She was still attractive and had an air of royalty to her poise, even if she wasn't draped in gold or platinum.

"It's been a long time, Sweetie," the alicorn said, "at least for you, clearly. You've changed a lot."

The voice was very familiar, as well as the odd coat color. A name bubbled in her memory. "Midnight… Glimmer?"

"Close," the alicorn said with a smile. "Midnight Shimmer."

"Oh, yeah…" Sweetie said, pushing herself up to a sitting position. She took stock again of where she was. The fact that Midnight Shimmer hadn't attempted to take her diary meant that Trixie wasn't in control at this time. She had fuzzy memories of the whole thing. Was Trixie even able to control Midnight anymore? "Have you been watching over me?"

The alicorn shrugged, a small self-conscious smile playing on her lips. It was then that Sweetie realized just how much her old acquaintance had really changed, and just really how much time had passed in her own life from those care-free days when she could walk into a zombie-full cavern while singing a country song. Her mind drifted to the diary, and her thoughts remembered old friends, old horrors, and new soul-breaking disappointments.

She tried to hold it in, looking away from the alicorn, who was an odd, unwitting reminder of better days—at least for herself—and trembled, dragging the diary close to herself. She had so many things in there. Notes. Pictures. Confessions. Warnings. Spells. Reminders. Memories. Discoveries… and up until now, potential to be good. And she had failed them all. "I'm sorry!"

"Shh," Midnight Shimmer whispered. "It's okay, let it out."

She hadn't realized when exactly she'd hugged the alicorn and started crying, but now that she was in her embrace, she couldn't stop herself. But it wasn't an emotional, destructive fit of anger and frustration this time. Her tears felt guiltily good, like she was somehow dumping out a cartload of boulders she hadn't known she had been dragging behind her with a wheel missing.

She cried and cried, for Twilight, split and dispersed around the universe because of her. She cried for Rarity, alone and immortal even among friends. She cried for Puppy Smiles and for Blueblood, and for her counterpart in that world. She cried for the ponies lost in the dark, enveloping miasma of the fae world; for Octavia, murdered by someone she trusted, and for the crusaders, lost in the North last she had heard. She cried for Blackjack, and Sweetie Belle, for Swiftwing… a wife she loved and now didn't know. And much more so for her daughter, who would never know her for good or ill.

She cried most of all for herself—feeling tremendously guilty about it—and yet unable to stop or feel like there was any justice to it all. She sniffled, and hugged Midnight Shimmer even more tightly as she wailed, sinking into the warm embrace of the alicorn simply because she couldn't think of anything else to do, and for all alicorns represented in this world, right now, this was the only friend she had.

And she was glad she was not alone.

"I'm sorry."

"For the fifth time, Sweetie, it's fine." Midnight Shimmer shook her head, "I understand all too well… I cried a lot too, once I left the STABLE. There's nothing to be ashamed of, far worse to keep it bottled in."

The pair were sitting in the little shelter, watching the sunset. Sweetie had put away her diary, and didn't remember much since opening the book, then finding out about her daughter, then waking up in the shelter.

She was back to this bleak world created by ponies' own hubris. Was it really a surprise that she was drawn to it? She had been so confident in her growth, in her understanding of herself and her own powers, in the validity of her mission… that she had committed such a horrible personal betrayal of her own values. It was only fitting that she would end up in the same virtueless place as before.

"Perhaps this place is meant to be my purgatory," she said, gazing into the distance. "Perhaps I'm meant to die here, where my immortality was granted. Perhaps I am destined to remain here, in a land devastated by war and ponies doing all the wrong things at the cost of everything, left only with scarred land and misery."

"Or maybe, you're here because this is the place where you can really begin to heal," Midnight Shimmer countered, not looking down at her, her eyes also lost in the distant scenery. "A place devastated and scarred by war and greed and best intentions, but where ponies still live. Where hope fights every inch of the way. Where monsters can become heroes."

Sweetie blinked and glanced at Midnight Shimmer. "I didn't know you were that optimistic."

"I think it was the raider part of me."

Sweetie considered that, nodding in contemplation. Then thought about it again. "Seriously?"

"Surprisingly yes," Midnight said, sounding kind of amused herself. "A part of me remembers a hoof, wrapped in spikes, writing little poems about growing things, if you can believe that."

Sweetie chuckled. "It's kind of hard to do so, but I guess anything is possible." She leaned on the alicorn's shoulder, feeling her tense for a second, before relaxing. For all of her emotional support earlier, it seemed that Midnight Shimmer was still not used to pony contact. "What are we doing now? Did you have a plan?"

Midnight Shimmer snorted. "A plan. No, I did not. I don't know what my place is anymore. I'm not guarding some secret location for the Goddess—"

"Trixie. If you keep calling her that, it'll get to her head."

A smile played on the alicorn's lips. "...or even part of her. I'm my own pony, with resurfacing memories of other lives that I have to come to grips with. For now I am enjoying my freedom.. sort of."

Sweetie blinked. "Sort of?"

"It feels kind of lonely to be on my own," Midnight Shimmer said. "Before I was part of… a lot of minds. Now, it's three in one."

"I have no idea how that feels."

The alicorn smirked. "Probably best that way."

Sweetie sighed. "I'm not sure how long I'll be here, but if you'll have me, I'll stay with you for a while."

The smirk warmed into a smile once more. "That sounds good. But we should get you some weapons and armor."

"I have armor," Sweetie said. "But weapons…"

"It's the Wasteland Sweetie, even just showing off you have a gun will keep others from assuming they can take things from you." Midnight Shimmer bobbed her head. "Think about it as a protection for them. They will be dissuaded before you have to do it for them."

"I guess that makes sense?" Sweetie said. "Where can I get that?"

"Well," Midnight Shimmer glanced around, shifting slightly—but not pulling away—from Sweetie as she studied the destroyed camp. "Definitely not here. There's a town a few miles down that way," she pointed with a wing. "It's called Faded Mirror. I was hoping to stop there on my flight, learn some additional information about the area, and maybe make some sort of decision."

Sweetie nodded. "I guess we know where to stop first."

It occasionally stormed in the Wasteland, whether it was because the Enclave willed it or simply because a series of events made it so, it still was somewhat cleansing, if not terribly nice. It certainly wasn't as nice as a shower as you could get in the STABLE, but it did get rid of some of the gunk and dirt, so she didn't mind staying out in it, as long as the rads kept low.

"Pip, you're going to get sick."

Calamity chuckled, walking up to Velvet, and patting her on the shoulder with a wing. "Ah think she'll be fine, she's just missin' Homage."

Velvet gave her a considering look, while behind them, protected by a large metal sheet, her back to the Sky Bandit, Xenith simply shook her head slightly.

Lil Pip felt her cheeks flush, but didn't answer. Sure, she did miss Homage. Who wouldn't miss a pony that could… do the things she did? It was natural. And nice. And slightly embarrassing to be honest, but if she was also honest it had nothing to do with that, right? Besides, she didn't have much time to waste missing her lover. After all, she still had to deal with the Goddess. And Red Eye. And… well…

"Hello Children, this is DJ Pon3, with sad news. The town of Faded Mirror is now nothing more than empty husks of houses and dead bodies. It was attacked by a pair of unusual raiders and reports are a bit spotty on what happened. Apparently there's a new Raider Warlord-in-the-making out there, and she's accompanied by one of those mutated alicorns. We don't know why or how these two are working together, but we do know that wherever they go, there's only bodies left behind. Another report confirmed that they were responsible for a magical storm that destroyed another, nearby camp. They were seen heading East towards Deep Crevice. Stay safe children, and to those that might have family there, my deepest condolences."

Lil' Pip sighed, pulling up a map on her Pip Buck. At least there hadn't been—

"On a brighter note, if a certain Stable Dweller is about, my dear assistant sends her love and reminds her that she is always willing to try and break her record. I wonder what she means?"

Right. Dammit.

"I imagine we're heading over to Deep Crevice?" Steelhooves' deep voice cut through both her embarrassment and the pitter-patter of the rain.

Lil' Pip took a deep breath. "Yeah. We're not too far away and we can't let a bunch of raiders murder the town, even if we have an important mission of our own."

She could see Calamity and Velvet exchanging glances before they nodded at her resolutely. Behind them, Xenith merely smiled. Lil Pip couldn't help but chuckle as her eyes turned in the direction of Deep Crevice. She was lucky to have such loyal friends.

Author's Notes:

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