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My Life as a Teenage Elder God

by ArcIsDead

Chapter 9: Chapter Nine: How Sombra Got His Groove Back (or) Spike Battles The Friendzone

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Chapter Nine: How Sombra Got His Groove Back (or) Spike Battles The Friendzone
---Kyth POV---

We arrived back home in the same place where we had left, looking around. It looked like a few hours had passed, and it was late afternoon. I ran by the library and grabbed a book on magical mixtures, and managed to use the Inspiration Manifestation book to synthesize the materials to mix up something called "Nulling Solution". It was a magical liquid used to dilute various potions and poisons to the point where there was a slightly weaker but higher quantity of the diluted item. From what Jen could scan of Dox's blood it was extremely powerful. Jen had decided to try and test some of the blood for different purposes in a small station built down in our basement. Along with some of the unfiltered blood and the mythril we had gotten Jen managed to craft up a pair of batteries to use, and when she added them she immediately got a surge of power.

"Wh-Whoa! That's pretty wicked!"

She made a hand into a fist and a bit of power flickered around it.

"Dox was definitely  right about this stuff! With like half of it made into batteries I'm supercharged, and I probably won't need to replace them for years at least!"

I grinned.

"Well it's good that we met him. Now we have your power problem fixed and I have something to try with my sword."

I took out Dox's token, and drew my sword. I held the dice to the point of my sword where the blade met the hilt. The token seemed to melt into light, and fuse with my sword. For a moment my sword glowed, resembling the dice in seeming to be made of crystal with a galaxy within. It flashed again and turned back to my regular sword. It looked unchanged but I felt like I had a new Tech move to use. I decided to name it Dox Reroll. I shrugged and sheathed my sword. I looked over at where Jen was dealing with the blood. She came over to me holding a few vials of the diluted blood. She had made half of the blood into the batteries she currently had, and split the remaining half of it into two fourths, one to store for if she ever needed to replace her new batteries, and the rest to use for experimentation. A few drops of it had easily bonded with some of the Nulling Solution, and she now had a set of vials of it. She waved for me to follow.

"C'mon Kyth I wanna try something with Sombra's horn."

We both walked down and I watched her take out a medium sized glass jar. She picked up Sombra's horn and put it in the jar, and then placed a fragment of glowing emerald into it that she had grabbed on her trip to get the Inspiration Manifestation book after crushing it into a fine powder. After that she filled the jar with one of the more diluted mixes of Dox's blood into and sealed the jar. She reconfigured her left arm into a paint mixer and started shaking the jar around with its contents. After a few moments the jar started glowing like a star and then exploded in a wave of energy. We both got sent flying back, and heard a familiar deep voice laughing. When the smoke cleared, standing before us was... A colt. We both looked at each other and back to the strange colt. He spoke and laughed like Sombra, but... He was a colt. A small colt, looking slightly younger than Sweetie Belle, with a charcoal gray coat and a black mane. He had a pair of draconic emerald green eyes, and a familiar curved spike of a horn, but rather than being red it was a similar glowing emerald color to his eyes. He looked at us after laughing with an evil grin. He still had Sombra's voice.

"Fools! Your actions had revived me and brought me from death's grasp! Now I will return my- Wait. Why are you both of such a large size?"

Jen and I locked eyes again, and both of us burst out laughing.

"What is so funny wretched metallic maiden and cephalopodic demon!? I am your destroyer!"

His horn lit up and a few feeble sparks of lightning ignited around his horn, but quickly fizzled out. I stood up and grabbed him by the scruff.

"Here's the deal Sombrero, we just brought you back to life. This is a second chance for you, so you can either learn why everything you did was wrong and be a new pony from it and be one of us good guys, or..."

I balled my open hand into a fist and put it in front of him. His mouth screwed up and his eyes widened.

"Or I put this fist through your small colt body. You get me?"

He kept his eyes on my fist and slowly nodded.

"Good. And you will refer to me as Kyth and her as Jen. And no insulting people or ponies unless merited."

He nodded again.

"Good. Now c'mon, we're gonna go show you to the elements and tell him about this. They'll be helping us take care of you, but Jen and I are gonna put you into the system as us adopting you for the moment as you are currently a small colt. And we'll have to tell Cadence about you."

He 'eeped' when he heard her name.

"No! Not the wretched exploding princess! The wretch will come to finish the job she started already!"

He squirmed around in my grip. It seemed that with his brain being more of a colt's he was actually scared of Cadence.

"Fine! We won't tell Cadence yet. But we will tell the elements."

Jen had been smirking the whole time, satisfied that her idea had worked to repair Sombra. After this we all headed over to the library, keeping Sombra hidden by wrapping him in a blanket. We knocked on the door and entered the library, setting down Sombra after locking the door. We took a few moments to tell her what we'd been through and what we had learned with Dox, and then we told her about what we had come over to tell her about.

"YOU DID WHAT!?"

She was displeased about hearing what we had done to revive Sombra.

---Third/Sombra POV---

Sombra was not a happy stallion, and now an even less happy colt. He had been brought from death as planned, only to find himself in the care of those who had brought about his downfall, and in the humiliating state of a foalish form. They had dragged him across town to a great tree which had been forced into the housing of a library. They had then dumped him onto the ground and began conversing with one of the loud and irritating mares that had been around for his death. While they yelled he set out into the building for no reason other than boredom. He made the decision to bring about a terribla vengeance when they slept, he would take the blade worn by the green demon and run it through his- What was that!? He looked over to see a small dragon of purple and green holding the most delicious looking ruby, and looking on the conversation being had by the green demon, metal maiden, and irritating unicorn. A loud rumble emanated from his stomach, and the dragon turned to him uncertainly.

"U-uh. Are you... Hungry?"

Sombra limply nodded, eyes never leaving the gem. The dragon followed the line of his eyes, and held out the gem.

"You want this?"

Sombra nodded again.

"Uh. Okay. You can have it then if you're that hungry."

Sombra blinked. He had not expected the dragon to offer up the gem.

"You would give such onto me with no promise of repayment...?"

The dragon nodded.

"Well sure. I'm just eating it cause it's tasty, but you're actually hungry so..."

Sombra snatched the gem in a hoof and eagerly consumed the gem, crushing it in his jaws and relishing it. The dragon seemed surprised.

"Whoa! How're you able to eat gems? You're a pony..."

Sombra burped when he was done.

"I am of the hybrid race kirin. Mine mother was a wyvern of the desolate north and mine father a crystal stallion born to windigo and unicorn parentage. I was the result of them, half wyvern, one fourth wendigo, one fourth pony. As such I can shift my form into that of a shadowed specter, consume the divine consumables that are gems, and bear magic of an unknown level to ponydom."

"Cool! Nopony around here is able to eat gems other than me!"

"Well I am no mere pony! And for this gift onto me then I am in your debt. Name a boon and I will grant it should it be in my power!"

"Well I don't really need anything right now. You wanna read some comic books?"

"Very well, but what are these... 'comic' books?"

---

"Truly these are tales of gods on Equus! Yet I do not see how these characters which wield powers greater than the power ponies can be so easily defeated! They do not even leave a lasting mark! Were it me I would plan for their arrival and strike them down!"

"Well I suppose that could be true. But then again Sombra, you sound a bit like the Craven Clairvoyant, he nearly beats the power ponies by planning around their every move but gets beaten because of his pride."

"Yes but I would plan for my own pride as well!"

This went on for a while until they got interrupted by the yelling of Twilight.

"Spike! Have you seen where Sombra went!?"

"Yeah, he's up here with me!"

The unicorn rushed up with Kyth and Jen, as if expecting to find a pile of bloodied corpses, only to give a confused and surprised look to Sombra.

"Seal your mouth purple one, else you catch flies."

He turned back to the comic book. Kyth spoke.

"Well we managed to settle everything with Twilight and we'll tell the rest of the elements tomorrow. C'mon Sombra, it's time we go home. The sun's almost down."

"WHAT!? I have not yet finished this 'comic'!"

Spike spoke up.

"You can borrow it if you want, just give it back later and don't let it get messed up."

Sombra turned back to Spike.

"Very well! I shall keep it from harm and return it upon the morrow, friend Spike!"

---Kyth POV---

I sighed as we walked home, Sombra once more wrapped in the blanket we brought to hide him. After a few hours of arguing Jen and I managed to convince Twilight to give him the chance to start over. And to not tell the princesses yet. I smiled at the fact that Sombra seemed to have befriended Spike. Hopefully we would be able to reform him much in the same way as Discord in the show, and him being a colt would make that much easier. He squirmed in the blankets, and I set him down on the couch Jen spoke to him when I placed him.

"So you have fun with Spike?"

"Verily. He told me of a great many things which have been made in the time of my imprisonment. I will continue to learn their secrets, and then plan my next move. For the moment I will stay here, and when I reach the point of my former age then I will decide whether or not to conquer the world once more!"

Jen sighed.

"Well fine. But remember, if you start being evil then we'll have to explode you again or worse. If you behave relatively within the behavior parameters of a regular foal then you can stay here and live a new life without the persecution of your old one. And there might even be gems in it for you if you're good."

Sombra drooled a little bit at hearing the mention of gems.

"Verily, Jen the metal maiden. I shall behave for the moment. But I will hold you to that!"

I laughed and showed Sombra to the small room we had prepared for him. It had some basic possessions in it, but I told him that we would get some additional things for it later. I let him read his comic and then I shut off the light and left him to sleep. Of course Twilight had given us a necklace to track him if he tried to run. For the moment I decided to treat him as if he were an actual foal.

-One Week Later-

The rest of the elements had been a bit reluctant to accept Sombra, but had all agreed to give him a chance to prove that he wasn't pure evil. He actually seemed to have mellowed out from being a foal, and other than a few hiccups...

I will destroy you wretched thing!

Sombra no that's just a toaster! It didn't mean to hit you with 'demon bread'!

...Sombra had behaved relatively well. He had clung to Spike a bit, but other than that he was just an overdramatic colt with an odd look to him. Ponyville had gotten used to odd looking ponies/people after Zecora, Spike, and then all of us, so he was fairly well treated, if a tad coldly. Jen and I had finally gotten armor from the town blacksmith as well, so I had a basic iron chainmail coat to wear under my T-shirt (Jen had made me clothes and stuff to wear so I wouldn't just be walking around in just pants) and Jen had gotten some additional cosmetic attachments. She had decided that she wanted to change her look from that of XJ9 in the show, and so had gotten her armor and 'hair' redone to be a royal blue color, and along with that her skirt piece was made a bit longer, and the same for her top, and with that she now had a pair of shoulder plates to protect her arms from being dislocated (in the show XJ9 seemed to get damaged a lot, so having extra armor to wear seemed like a good idea).

It was midday and Jen had taken Sombra to have his first visit to the dentist. She had told me to go grab some gems and then get Pinkie to help me mix into an emerald milkshake to give him after they were done in a few hours, as he would undoubtedly need some form of treat to soothe his teeth and his childish fury afterwards. I grabbed the gems with Rarity's help from outside town and I had started for Pinkie when I heard someone talking. I told Rarity I needed to check something out and that I'd see her later, and went to investigate. I found Spike sitting on top of a nearby hill, looking at the horizon. I alerted him to my presence.

"Hey Spike. You alright?"

He turned to me with widened eyes, before lowering his eyes to be half lidded after he recognized me.

"Oh. Hey Kyth. I'm just... Thinking."

"What about?"

"I dunno. I'm just trying to figure stuff out."

I decided to probe at the issue further.

"Well what stuff? Maybe I can help."

He sighed.

"Did... Did you know I have a crush on Rarity?"

I decided to play dumb. I knew about it from the show but I figured I'd continue the effort to hide Jen and I's foreknowledge.

"Really? Well what about that's troubling you?"

"Well... I don't really know what to do. I tried telling her how I felt a while back when I went into greed growth, but she hasn't said a word about it. I try and impress her to no result, and everything I do to try and help her just... She just thanks me and gives me a gem or something. I don't really know how I would be able to win her over. She's amazing! And I'm just... Me."

I looked at Spike right in the eyes.

"Spike. No one is 'just' their self. You can be whoever and whatever you want to be, that's up to you. And if you want I could give you some advice for winning Rarity over if you decide that's what you really want."

"Really!? Wait, what do you mean 'what I really want'?"

"Well if you have a crush then there's always the chance that it isn't really love. I won't try and tell you what it is, I know from experience how maddening it can be for someone to tell you about your own feelings, but how you feel is something that you'll need to make certain on your own. Alright, first in Kyth's rules of winning a girl: The Friendzone."

"What's the 'Friendzone'?"

I gave him a deep look.

"Spike, the Friendzone is the metaphorical place where relationships go to die. The friendzone is the point in a platonic relationship where you open up to the person you love, tell them how they make you feel, how the thought of them drives you crazy and seeing them with someone else burns at you. How you want nothing more in the whole world than to be with them, to be there for them... And they don't feel the same. They say that they don't feel ready to take the risk of a relationship, that they want to stay 'friends' even though they'll never look at you the same way again. The friendzone is when they don't feel the same way about you that you do about them. People may tell you the friendzone isn't real, but that's because they've never been there. It's how I actually started with Jen..."

"But you and Jen and special someponies... So you can get out of the friendzone?"

I nodded.

"Yeah. It's difficult, and sometimes you have no option but to accept it and move on, but it's possible sometimes. For you, it'll be extra hard. Rarity is a high-class type, so you being a dragon could be good or bad if she is involved with you,depending on who you ask. But the main issue for you is age."

"Age?"

"Yup. Spike, don't take offense, but you're a kid. Maybe a teen by pony terms, but a kid by their perspectives. It'll be frowned upon from everyone if you start dating now, and neither of you can handle that. The only option for that is to wait a few years until you're older and then determine how you really feel about her. Then make your choice. Until then, I'm afraid the best thing is to do two things..."

Spike looked at me uncertainly.

"What?"

"First you have to stay away from Rarity."

"WHAT!?"

"Spike if you wait on her every desire then that'll put you in extreme danger of falling into the friendzone. The only option to avoid that is to get some distance from Rarity. Take some time for yourself, figure out what you want for yourself and get some certainty for in how you feel for her. How long have you had a crush on Rarity?"

"Since the moment I saw her."

"Spike if you've acted in the way of having a crush on her since you first met her then how would she ever figure out that you had a crush? She won't figure it out on her own, she has no frame of reference. The second thing to do is something you may enjoy more."

"What"

"Date someone your own age."

"What!?"

"You heard me. While you take time away from Rarity you should try and get some more experience with dating. The best option is to try fillies that are the same age as you are, you'll have much better luck with them. And who knows, maybe you'll even start to have feelings for someone other than Rarity and then move on without having the heartache. All of this is the best advice I can offer for the moment, and I'm afraid I have to go deliver these to Sombra. Here though."

I passed him an emerald as I stood up. I started walking when I head Spike.

"Hey Kyth?"

"Yeah kid?"

"Thanks."

I smiled at him and started walking to deliver the gems. Next Chapter: Chapter Ten: Sombra Vs. Babs Seed/ Dark Foresight Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 48 Minutes

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