My Life as a Teenage Elder God
Chapter 17: Chapter Seventeen: Winter Frost and Cold/Kyth Meets Pitch Black
Previous Chapter Next ChapterWhile Jen flew off to dispose of the Alicorn Amulet I stood behind in Ponyville helping to make sure everything was fixed. For the moment I was watching Sombra do his best to break out of the small shell placed onto him. Being in a cocoon of crystal wasn’t fun, from the looks of it.
“Gyah! Squidface aid my escape!”
“Yeah yeah ya little shit.”
I drew my sword and got ready to chisel the thing open.
“What!? NononnonoNO! DO NOT USE THINE SWORD WHELP!”
“Hey I can be careful besides the crystal will take the blow!”
“Yes but I am stuck in a foal’s body! It could kill me!”
“No it wouldn’t!”
“I disagree!”
“Fine then! Spike can just gnaw you loose!”
Spike shook his head and waved me off.
“No way. I am not getting involved with this!”
Sombra deadpanned and squirmed over to him.
“Dragon friend...Pls halp. Release me!”
“Dude I’ll agree that having a shell of crystal on you that you can’t even move your neck to eat off stinks but I don’t want to risk licking you! That’s nasty!”
“MYEH! Traitor!”
“Would you do the same for me?”
“...Good point. Very well... “
While Sombra was distracted I stabbed my sword into the ground and through the outside of the shell. Sombra let out a sound comparable to a dying balloon as the shell shattered off of him and set him free. I picked him up and brushed him off as he held a numb expression.
“There ya go. Shell’s off.”
He whirled to face me.
“THOU TRIED TO KILL ME!”
“It worked didn’t it?”
“BUT STILL!”
“Relax I wasn’t gonna let anything happen! Besides we coulda patched you up if anything did happen…”
He glared at me for a moment.
“I shall never forgive you for this…”
“Wanna go get milkshakes?”
“I rescind mine previous statement…”
“Good. You coming Spike?”
“Sure!”
We started walking into town to see how long it’d take for the shops to all reopen, only to be interrupted by the arrival of a token slamming dead into my face. It looked kinda like a voodoo-puppet made of a hybrid between a human and a rabbit. It also had one half encased in ice, half of which was further encased in shadows.
“That...Is the weirdest token I have ever seen. Uh...Come on out I guess...Whatever kinda rabbit...ice..shadow...guy... you are.”
A shadow hung across the street from a house to our right. From the shadow it cast a pitch-black substance began to cover its wall, forming a round circle...Out of said circle a light grey/blue head came, with dark grey hair, then finally it emerged the rest of the way out of the portal. All but its head and hands were covered by a dark robe.
After it fully emerged from the portal, a stone shout out from behind it and into its back.
It took notice of the stone, and saw that there was a paper wrapped around it, as it shrieked because of the pain. I looked at it and blinked before turning to Sombra and Spike and speaking slowly.
“Spike Sombra… Go on to my house and we can grab milkshakes later.”
They both nodded and ran off and I slowly drew my sword and planted the tip of it into the ground. I couldn’t be sure if it was an enemy or ally. Or what it was exactly, as it stood in the shadows where it was harder to see it. I spoke slowly to it.
“Okay, who the hell are you?”
At this it seemed to take notice of me, and replied.
“Well, my name is Pitch. I believe this message was for you.”
He walked out of the shadows, and tried to give me the paper. I raised my brow and took it from him. It said (or whatever you want to use there):
To whoever tried to summon me,
I’ll have you know that the puppet was the first I ever made, and therefore has
sentimental importance to me. And also I would like to mention that the ice and shadows
are not my fault, but rather the fault of those who simply used my essence-container,
you called it a token, as theirs!
I am deeply sorry, but I am busy at the moment. Maybe that remaining idiot could help
you…
-Sor’Gat
“Okaaaaay...Whoever the hell that is.”
I shrugged and pocketed the note. I looked back up to ‘Pitch’.
“So, you a Displaced or just a weirdo with a token?”
Pitch smirked, before replying: “I am a Displaced. The owner of that message is the weirdo.”
“Well alright then. So, what’s with the whole ‘lurking in the shadows’ deal? You a vampire or something?”
“No. The character I am currently impersonating is an individual capable of transforming shadows into black sand and using that to attack his enemies. Or, that’s how I explained it.”
“Well alright. As is probably obvious I got Displaced as Cthulhu… Or I at least look like him… I don’t really know. Anyway…”
At this Pitch interrupted me: “Question! Are you homeless or something? I mean, I just arrived here as practically a guest. And yet we are still standing on the middle of the street… that is not really good hosting.”
I deadpanned. “No. I’m not homeless. But you’re some shadowy guy that I just met. I don’t know if you’re good, bad or neutral. I’d rather not invite a possible supervillain into my house.”
He gasped, before asking: “What? But… don’t you have like, all those traps around your house in case a mean Displaced escapes your attention? And and and… what would you do if your house burned down if you wouldn’t have water stored inside the ceiling?”
“Okay I don’t set traps in my house, that’s something I have a sword for. And storing water in the ceiling is just begging to rot through everything and flood the place. And besides if a ‘mean’ Displaced escapes my attention then my girlfriend’s got scanners that could find them like that.”
I snapped my fingers.
“Hm… interesting”, at this black sand went over him and formed a moustache on his face, “I’m just kidding. And messing with you”, the moustache dispersed again. I shrugged.
“Dude I’m not the type to scare easily. At least not since getting Displaced. Crazy magic whatever sorta does that.”
“Riiiight… so are we going to stand here all day? Because if it is that way, then I could go back home. I was just about to grab a VERY interesting book… Then again, I have to uphold a stoic demeanor there.”
“Alrighty. Magic book or something?”
“Yup. Magic Book. The same section as all those Demonology-books.”
“Hmm. Alright then. Personally I only have like one magic book and that’s this sucker.”
I took the InsMan book out of my pocket to show him.
He looks at it weirdly, and asked: “Should I know that? I mean, is that like something important I should know about?”
“Eh maybe. It may not come into play in your world and we intercepted it before it could do so here. It’s a spellbook that holds a spell called Inspiration Manifestation. It corrupts the mind oof the wielder unless they’re capable of resisting it but either way you can use it to synthesize magic into solid matter. Like so,”
I held out a hand bearing a lime green glow and summoned a can of soda to drink.
“Ahh. Corruptive magic tastes awesome when it’s made into food. Well...it tastes like whatever food you made with it. Either way...”
At this Pitch turns around, and starts walking into town. “Well, if you’re not going to tell me where to find it, it wouldn’t be interesting either way. Your house is this way, right?”
“Did you miss the part about ‘I’m not inviting a possible supervillain into my house’? I still don’t know who you are. And you’re looking for demonology books which I’m not against personally but more often than not people use those kinds of books for nothing but bad.”
Pitch stopped walking, stared back at me and spoke.
“Oh, really? You know, the only reason I even knew that was the section about demonology was because the guy who helped me find my book told me so. It wasn’t even in the right section of the library! And you’re not inviting me, I am.”
I deadpanned. “Into my house? Eyeeeaaaah that’s not happening.”
Pitch turned fully back around to face me, crossed his arms and shouted a response.
“Well, I don’t know about YOUR day, but my brother died yesterday by a freak who had the same costume as him, then I was being lectured about all different kinds of stuff by his mentor, and THEN I am still unsure whether or not my travelling companion is booking us a tavern. Please excuuuuse me, princess.”
“Well I woke up horribly hungover and yesterday I’ve been told that I fought a horde of fire demons of some sort and shoggoth, not to mention the fact that I’ve started having blackouts where I have no idea what I’ve done other than context clues, I don’t HAVE a brother but the closest I have to one is a guy that I have no idea if he got Displaced killed or is back home, and you know what?”
I leaned a bit closer to him.
“Sorry if your brother died but that won’t stop me from being cautious when meeting new Displaced. Hell, I’m sixteen and I’ve seen more shit than most people back home ever would! If you’re having such a shit time say so rather than trying to force your way into someone’s house out of nowhere! Jeez… If you really need a place to crash then fine. I don’t mind, but at this point I’m having to be cautious to not have shit go down. I don’t even know who or what you were Displaced as so I don’t know what you’re capable of! Hell, I’ve met someone who’s a child of some kind of god that I don’t even know!”
I let out a sigh. “C’mon. Our house is this way…”
As he started to come back and follow me, he mumbled.
“I really have to practice my humor more…”
At this he started to speak in a louder voice.
“That part about me inviting myself was actually meant as a joke. And we were kind of stuck just metaphorically circling each other in battlestance. Your sword is even still drawn! And sorry, I thought I told you already who I am. Pitch Black, main villain in Rise of the Guardians, a movie pretty famous back then, but worth shit if no one fears him. I think it would work too if they believed in him, seeing how that’s the case with all others…”
I shrugged and sheathed my sword. “Eh I never got the chance to see that movie. Looked interesting but I never got around to it before getting Displaced. And it doesn’t matter to me if your character is a villain, judging from the shield I got on my belt I met a handsome Jack Displaced sometime yesterday. Like I said, I got wasted to the point of my memories being kinda blurry.”
I waved him along and went through town until we came upon me and Jen’s house and I showed him in.
“And this is our place. nothing too big or impressive but it’s just a temporary thing until we get back to Earth.”
He looked around, before telling me: “Eh, I never was one for all that high and mighty castle-stuff anyways. Why go a hundred meters to the kitchen if ten is enough?”
“Yeah. We could probably get a castle or something if we wanted one but y’know…”
I stopped talking when I saw the pile of guns and alcohol bottles sitting in the living room. Pitch whistled, sounding impressed.
"Thats one huge and mighty collection you have there.”
“Jen did mention earlier that while I was drunk I brought a bag of random stuff home with me. And a pig… I guess that I got guns too… Weird.”
I turned to Pitch. “Uh… Want one? I don’t really know how to use any of these so they’re kinda useless to me for the moment.”
He looked at me surprised. “Sure! But I really wish I had been at that party. Must have been a blast. What guns you got?”
“No idea. Jen might know about some of this, since her dad’s a cop he taught her and her brothers about some stuff like this, but I know absolutely nothing.”
He seemed to think about it for a moment, before saying: “Welp, maybe I can find a Deagle in all this…”, and looked over to the pile, seeming to find what he was looking for after a moment. The object searched and found had shadows creeping over it by, and vanished after being completely engulfed.
“I take it you found what you were looking for?”
He began to nod, but stopped himself midway. Then he shook his head, and replied: “Nope. Still tired. If you were talking about the gun, yeah, I did. I took a Desert Eagle, a classic.”
“Well alright. May it be useful for you in whatever stuff you do. But if I hear of you doing evil shit with that gun then Imma find you.”
I said this jokingly and punched his shoulder.
He somehow hissed at that, and held his shoulder. “Dude, I’m not made out of steel!”
“Whoops. Sorry dude, I’m kinda used to being a weakling like I was back home. Here I’m suddenly eight feet tall and ripped so it’s a bit of an adjustment. Anyway, one sec and I’ll see if I can get a copy of me and Jen’s token for ya…”
I concentrated and after a moment one flashed into existence in front of me. I held it out to him and then took out Pitch’s token and placed it on the mantle over the fireplace. I spoke as he looked over the token.
“So, you need anything?”
“Yeah… I’m dog… tired…”, at this point he collapsed to the floor, asleep. I blinked and picked him up, plopping him onto the couch.
“Okay…”
I took out a piece of paper and wrote a quick note.
“Nice meeting you… Call me with the token whenever you need… Maybe you could meet Jen next time… Don’t worry about the couch I can magic up a new one…Cya laters, Kyth.”
I folded it like a tiny tent and put it on his face.
“Pitch Black our contract is now complete. “
Darkness washed over the floor beneath him and I saluted as he and the couch tilted and sank into the portal in the manner of a sinking ship. I figured that with whatever rough stuff he was going through that letting him keep the couch was the least I could do. When he was fully gone the portal sealed up I took out the InsMan book to start conjuring a replacement couch.
“Hm. Nice guy. Bit weird, but nice. Hope he finds that book of his…”
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