I leaned on Jen for support while my leg healed as I spoke to the room around me, seeing Dox standing with an unknown figure.

"Uh... What's goin on?"

Around me I watched portals appear with various figures stepping out, most speaking to Dox.

The first portal to open revealed a normal looking guy, wearing a black windbreaker with a hood, and a backpack and jeans. He had short brown hair, which was mussed slightly as he pulled back his hood. His legs seemed to creak under his jeans and he spoke up. "Hey, Dox!"

An 'H' shaped portal opened in an ordered fashion, showing an odd pair. One was an average sized human wearing a white space suit but in a flared executive fashion, and then along with him was a more... Unique individual. She was a robotic looking alicorn, eighteen feet in height from what I could judge, with a white coat and a mane of glowing red wires. She had a motherly and curvy figure, and had a small smile. The guy in the space suit spoke. "So, we meet again.  Under not interrupting my morning coffee moments, I swear if it isn’t you it’s somefucker else.  But thanks for the invite, I need some kind of vacation...”

The next portal revealed a group that made my brain halt for a moment, as a group I recognized as Jessie, James, and Meowth from Team Rocket. Along with them were two kids, a boy and a girl. The boy wore a standardized Team Rocket grunt uniform with a black hat covering his red hair and a green watch with an hourglass symbol on his left arm. The girl wore a miniature version of Jessie's uniform, with a hairpin with an Arbok design stuck into her brown hair. The next two out of their portal were recognized as the MLP OC  Screwball, and Team Rocket's Wobbuffet. The kids and Wobbuffet were carrying odd eggs.

The next portal opened up to show an anthro Queen Chrysalis with a young changeling queen holding her hand. The kid spoke. "Wow, are they all daddy's friends?" Chrysalis glanced around. "Don't know myself, though I do see Jack over there."The next one to walk out was another anthro alicorn mare with dragon wings on her back. She smiled and walked up to Dox. “Don’t worry, Asphyxious will be along he’s just trying to work out if he should bring the Warjacks or not” Just as she finished, a man with black hair and a long dragon like tail jumped out. He was wearing some kind of chest plate with armor all along his left arm and had what looked like a cutlass hanging off his hip.

“Aloha!, did you miss me brother?” He said with a big smile on his face. “Good to see you again, Dox. Come here and give me a hug!” He then wrapped his arms around Dox in a crushing hug..

 Once he let go, Dox gasped for air and looked at and seemed to notice something else he was wearing, an eyepatch. “Asphyxious?” Dox asked and that just made him laugh.

“That’s right, it’s me dude. I guess that fight with Everblight hasn’t happened yet, huh.” He asked, giving Dox this big smile on his face.

“What.” Dox said. “Know what, I’m not gonna ask. We have a party to have.”

      Jen and I looked up to see a massive monstrous fusion of creatures land on and crush tthe stage in front of us and give us a razor-toother, shit-eating grin. He spoke.

“Welcome to the party, you’ve been invited, and we are going to wreck shit up. I got the booze!” He said, holding up a small ship he summoned from the air. “No minors allowed to drink, of course, so I also got some non-alcoholic cider.” He commented, holding up a weathered barrel in his other hand.

I looked at it for a moment before raising my sword and yelling, only for my injured leg to buckle and I leaned on Jen, who raised a plasma cannon to it.

        The Robotic Alicorn smiled first at this before adjusting her gaze down at the human visibly in a Hyperion Space suit with markings on it showing the ‘rank’ of C.E.O.  “This ‘young one’ would be Avarice, we have made many dealings with him before.  Though admittedly it appears he has undergone a ‘change’.”  The helmet's blank screen showed a view of Handsome Jack’s face, giving a shrug in response with a wave.  “I’d come over and shake your hand for the business you’ve provided but, I’d say only my EGO could match your size.” 'Avarice' grinned wider, and winked.

I saw the guy in the windbreaker stare at the humanoid beast for a few seconds, before giving a salute and stating, “Yo!” As he did so, however, he noticed something in the crowd and gave a deadpan look. A few seconds passed before he began to shift around, trying to keep an eye out for any sign of something.

James stared at Avarice, “It’s that merchant!” He grabbed a pokeball and threw it, “Victreebel!” In a explosion of light, the large flytrap pokemon appeared, as soon as it was summoned, she turned around and faced her trainer and proceed to bite on his head, “Victreebel! Don’t attack me! Attack that merchant!”  

I saw 'Asphyxious' was laughing his ass off at what was happening, Chrysalis was keeping an eye on the young changeling that was playing not really sure myself. The dragon like Faust was looking around as if she was looking for someone, not sure what that about.

While this was all going on, I heard Dox yell out in anger.

“GUYS! CALM THE FUCK DOWN!” He shifted his form to one of a giant version of himself. “CALM DOWN NOW OR I’LL MAKE YOU CALM DOWN!” Instantly, everyone dropped what they were doing and stared at him as he shrank himself back down. “Now then. Now that that’s out of the way… This, my friends, is Avarice.” I gestured to my strange friend. “And he is NOT the Merchant you all think he is. No, this guy’s a Displaced like the rest of us. He’s a good sort, and he means well, so don’t go and try and hurt him. And trust me when I say this, even if you do, it won’t work. Now that I’ve explained that, can we PLEASE get on with the reason we’re here?” He pulled out strange Device and opened a portal. “Let’s stop with the crazy and get on with the party! I’m getting married soon, so let’s do this! Through that portal is my Earth. We’re gonna go and steal a limo, I’m gonna use my technomancy magic and other powers to upgrade it, and we’re gonna party! LET’S GO FUCK UP LOS ANGELES! OR TOKYO, I DON’T CARE!” He turned to the girls that happened to show up with the other people that I summoned. “You girls can stay here with Luna, Celestia, Emerald, Sapphire, Athena, and Bluebelle. Show them a good time, without sex, and we’ll be back later.”

“Also, as a precaution against my presence, can’t control my fertility powers yet, and any sort of intercourse WILL get you pregnant!” Avarice warned them all, and suddenly put down the small ship, and giant keg, and split in half into two giant basilisks again and began slithering to the portal.

“While I doubt that your powers will have any effect on me.” Alex said to Avarice, before he grew a shit-eating grin on his face, “I can’t wait to uphold my title as the Prince of Trolling.”

Jack just looked at Avarice and the others, giving a sigh in response to that speaking to Me.  “Well at least there won’t be any alicorns there, so that’s an improvement.  But I will shoot a fucker who deserves it.”  Saying in warning though the alicorn bit sounded weird as he shuddered.

Jen raised a hand to Avarice. “What if we aren’t built with that..erm… function?”

“No worries, just ask Jack to make you one.” Asphyxious said as if it was no big deal. She responded by giving him an odd look and slowly taking a step away.

“EARTH!” Dox shouted into the portal that he had opened. “PREPARE TO HAVE YOUR SHIT REKT!”

With that, we all stepped through the portal.

That was when shit went down. It seemed from the way all of us seemed to act and look, that the people of Dox's Los Angeles had no reserves with trying to kill us. There were civilians, cops, and criminals alike all pulling out guns to fire on us.

“Uh, guys.” Dox said to the gathered humans. “You don’t want to do that.”

They all opened fire, only for all of it to be deflected by Dox using some kind of crazy magic to deflect all of the shots.

“Told you.” He said. “Hey guys, don’t hold back. These guys are stupid enough to shoot at us, then they deserve it. I don’t care for my Earth anymore. Plus, we’re not here to play hero, we’re here to fuck shit up and have fun. LET’S GET TWISTED!” He yelled, sending the bullets back into the guns that they came from.

“Why not, let’s do this!” Avarice and another serpent that split from him crowed as they shot forth from the portal, swallowing screaming people whole as they cleared the way. “It’s a fiesta! And you’re all going to jail cuz you’re not invited!” Avarice cast an emerald aura around himself, later explaining that he was making it so that anyone who 'died' was to be transferred to a prison cell.

Iron Man had swapped into the War Machine armor. “Let me get this straight, We get to go on a  murderous, chaotic rampage and not have to deal with the after effects.  In that case, let’s fuck them up!”  The minigun on his back hummed to life as he ripped a crowd of cops to pieces.  “HA HA HA HA HA, I am getting a huge boner from this!”  He screamed. Dox later explained to us how much of the people in this city were corrupt/rapists. That made me feel less guilty for all of this.

The rocket grunt child fixed his black hat, looking at the destruction in front of him, he grinned devilishly, “Yahoo! Time for big ol storm of chaos!” Pulling out a small gem, he activated his magic, causing some of the cars to grow legs and start stomping on anyone who dared to attack them. “Come on out Shellder!” Summoning out the small purple clam, he pointed at a nearby building, “Shellder, use Ice Beam!” Firing a beam of ice, the building froze and collapsed, causing the Rocket child to laugh maniacally.

Alex, who I found out was the guy in the windbreaker, stumbled as he fell out of the portal, but quickly righted himself before diving down to avoid gunfire. “I really regret not transforming beforehand,” He said aloud as he took a kanohi Olmak (so THAT is the bionicle guy!) before slapping it on, transforming in seconds. As he got back up, bullets now bouncing off him harmlessly, he turned to Dox and asked, “You mind if I go terrorize Lego for dropping Farshtey as the writer for the new Bionicle series?” I nodded, and he gave a grin before opening a portal with his Olmak and stepped into it. I silently wished him luck on his noble quest.

On the other side, Jack’s first action was to look around, raise a brow watching the show.  “Well, I forgot how much of a shithole this place was. Hey, can the freeways through here be wrecked if I can’t bring a Mars Unit along?”  Opening the visor to his Space Suit as a couple bullets reflect off his shield, priming his finger on a Moonshot summoning button just waiting for Avarice to give the signal.

“Go for it, I hate the traffic there anyway, might as well, but let Avarice incapacitate as many civilians as possible first.” Dox said as he floated up to a nearby building wall, and began to watch the carnage.

Jack started tapping away on the watch, bringing up a holographic view of some kind, he then started to shift direction facing where Earth’s moon was.  a Distant if unclear view of it before completing the task, those with a magic connection could feel distant ‘thumps’ of power with anyone looking at the sky will soon enough see a starting glow of what appeared to be a meteor shower.  But in a matter of minutes of that being done Jack had his helmeted visor down, bracing for impacts by sitting on a street curb with shrieking crashes into the Freeway in several places around the city of L.A. likely cutting the city off from any vehicle traffic except for smaller roads.  But the final impact only landed just across the street into a building, only to explode outward with a self righted Saturn Bot, lumbering over to a Casual looking Jack giving a ‘circle around’ motion.

I then saw Asphyxious get a hotdog from a stall and pay the guy in gems then he just watches Jack, Dox, and Avarice, eating it with a smile on his face before someone tried to shoot him and missed, but the hotdog was nothing more than a mess on the street. “You know I was going to go easy on you all, but now…” His body was cover in fire and black smoke as Asphyxious transformed into a lich looking form, of a large size.

“I am going to eat your souls!” He roared at them then they all ran away from him screaming like little girls. “Big babies” He said and went into a mall, sending hundreds of people out screaming.

“You guys mind if I wire some money to my mom of this world?”  Iron Man said after pulling the arms off a mobster.  Getting no response, he ran into a bank.

  I looked around uncertainly, before grabbing a torn up piece of metal and using it as a shield, Captain America style. I charged up to the guy in the space suit and spoke.

“Uh. You’re the Handsome Jack Displaced, right? You got any shields I could have? I don’t exactly want to test how bullet-resistant I am.”

He gave me an unreadable look through his visor and I felt like I had done something wrong when he lifted it up and gave me a classic Handsome Jack smile. "Well sure, though for a first time customer I’ll play it easy on you kiddo. So I think for your ‘style’ from how you are standing a more ‘melee’ regen variety would be needed.”  Tapping into his Echo, before pulling out what appears to be another echo with a possible shield device.  “Just wear the Echo and put it in by accessing the Inventory screen like the video games.  Also YOU will pay me with 35,400 Bits.”

I blinked before reaching into my pocket and grabbing the Inspiration Manifestation tome, holding it in one hand. I concentrated and a green glow surrounded my hand as I generated bits to pay with. I spoke up again.

“Uh, tell me when to stop. And for the melee thing, that’s more because I don’t really have any ranged weapons yet.”

A retching sound came from overhead, and I looked up to see the horned serpent that was Avarice barfing gold coins into a pile next to me on the side opposite the one I had already made. The serpent that came with him 'Crescent' seemed to be the one barfing it all up, but Avarice spoke. “Say when Boss.”

I blinked and stepped back, pocketing the tome. I spoke up to apologize.

“Uh. Thanks guy. Sorry ‘bout trying to stab you earlier.”

“No hard feelings, if I held grudges against everyone who tried to hurt me, I wouldn’t be in a relationship with nearly any of my mares, ha, ha!” Avarice, the red-frilled serpent laughed as he shimmied in place.

I chuckled nervously. When all the bits were exchanged by Jack taking the pile into his ECHO and handing it to me, I programmed it and attached it to my belt. I started talking to Avarice, trailing off as I saw him already leaving. “So, what exactly were… you... Displaced.. as?” I looked over to where he had gone.

“Huh.”

I shrugged and rolled my ankle, now realizing that my leg had healed, and used my wings to glide over to where some of the others were talking.

“Welcome back, mother!” Luna cheered from her seat in a recliner, now properly dressed in a comfortable gown that fit her, one of her sister’s, since it was her style of white and gold.

F.A.U.S.T.  Reemerged through the portal from Dox’s location giving a sigh with shaking of her head with a light smile, Gazing over the other mares present giving a smile.  “We thank thou, though thy groom to be is rather ‘enjoying’ himself with his colt friends and OUR Handsome Jack.”  Giving a smile as her robotic wings gave a happy flutter.  “We can see our Jack at least seems to be keeping an eye out, though the phrase ‘designated driver’ is lost onto us as for why he sighed.”

All of us ladies were all gathered in a parlor, sitting around on plush and comfortable couches and chairs, while the kids all were playing and laughing in the next room being watched by Chrysalis. I didn't know what group I would fit better in, so I had made the choice to sit down with the adults and talk to the only other robotic female in the room, F.A.U.S.T. She was extremely tall, with a figure befitting an amazon, and the couch we both were sitting on could only support our combined weight (I knew I was at least 600 Ibs and I had no idea how much she weighed but with eighteen feet of robotics stuff it had to be pretty big) as she had magically reinforced it. I had gotten a break from a conversation which was awkward enough to rival my dad giving me 'The Talk' (Mom skipped town when I was born, don't ask), but now it seemed I had to resume it when she returned from helping Dox with something.

“So dear, where were we?” F.A.U.S.T asked conversationally as she gently set her large body down on the couch next to me. I responded in a nervous voice.

“U-Um...you were talking about the theories you developed on synthetic flesh, nerve endings and...upgrades?”

“Ah, yes. If thou would wish, we could even upgrade thou current chassis with nerve endings that have a full-range of sensation with dampeners so thou only really feel pain when something endangers thy structural integrity. We could also give your body a more organic appearance while not hampering your current functions, along with being able to eat normal foods to replenish your energy stores, and taste them too. Any more ‘Mature’ options would be entirely up to thou as well, since while to us thou art already an adult, we sense thou art uncomfortable with the subject of sex.” F.A.U.S.T supplied, making me blush a deep blue.

“Uh..Yeah, that does sound pretty good. Though y-yeah the erm..s-sex stuff I think would maybe be an upgrade for in a few years. But still, having a more organic body plus still having my battle armor, flight, weapons, et cetera would be pretty awesome.”

She smiled at me and started speaking in what my language processing system deciphered as a computer programming script.  (“Thou should try to see how a slightly more mature form at the least will ‘affect’ thy chosen mate, we could have it done long before those colts finish their fun for our own at how thy ‘Kyth’ reacts visibly.”)  A smile adorned her muzzle as she gave me an added wink, her gaze shifting over to the other mares present. I let out a small, nervous laugh.

“[W-well in a few years maybe… Though then again, wouldn’t there need to be time to actually y’know design it? Seeing as it’s gonna be a combo of your tech and mine...?]”

Giving a slight nod as she continued in a binary tone.  (“Thou art still thinking of how those of flesh and blood work mentally, a simple connection depending on processing speed could have our results in seconds or less..  Though tis understandable being so young, if thou doesn’t mind we may offer insights and our own teachings to help ‘adapt’ to thy nature as it were.”)  She stated with a slight hand gesture not noticing some stares for how she has been speaking so alien a tone that only one side of the conversation was heard. I placed a hand onto my chin.

“[Well.. Yeah I suppose that’d be useful. I actually have some of the blueprints for other stuff in the show that I could use help deciphering… Yeah, sure. So where does the upgrading whatever happen?]”

        F.A.U.S.T. merely smiled at at me in a devious way.  (“We COULD return to our Jack’s universe for such a procedure, or thou could give a ‘leap of faith’ by our remote model’s fabrication aboard this unit as a first ‘stage’.”)  She stated with a soft hum emanating from the larger frame. I didn't hesitate to answer her, shuddering internally.

        “[Uh… Thanks but I’d rather make this as not weird as possible. First option!]”

F.A.U.S.T. nodded and opened a portal to Jack’s world and thus we proceeded through...

She led me into a white room, one with no visible doorways or windows but what looked to be a wall of code surrounding on all sides. After a moment the room seemed to open with a command ‘flutter’ of her metallic wings into what seemed to be a portal chamber. She waved me on and I followed her forward. As we walked along I took in the sight of the facility, and even saw through some windows in the longer corridors I gained a glimpse of the surrounding landscape. As it was it seemed that the facility was constructed on this Equestria’s moon. I opened one of my pigtails into satellite dish mode to scan around me. F.A.U.S.T. glanced at me and I explained.

“Uh, I haven’t really tested my flight systems outside of our Equestria’s gravitational field, so I’m just seeing if I can get some data to help develop a map for myself to use later whenever I head out to my own moon.”

She gave a nod in a knowing way, as it seemed the path we were going shifted a bit to what looked like a larger ‘airlock’ for some kind of garage.  

“We believe a ‘mix’ of information and some experience can often be good teachers for events like this, as it would be a more ‘direct’ route by going for a walk outside the corridors. Thou wouldn’t believe how happy our Jack was when he first ‘moon jumped’ with a flip of his coming here to build a ‘Home away from Home’...”  

The direction she gestured to when we got outside looked like some weird mansion built into a crater that gave off a soft calming glow. I blinked and started hovering with my pigtail thrusters as we exited, giving flight without minimal gravity a try for the first time. The result of this was me shooting off into the air out of control and finally stopping when I crash-landed into the ground in front of the mansion’s front door. I groaned and pulled myself out of the me-shaped hole in the ground and stood up. I ‘spoke’ in binary code to F.A.U.S.T. though it was more like a broadcast signal, as we were in a vacuum.

“[That’s gonna need some work… Anyway, where were we heading?]”

Her response felt like a refined giggle of tones, even her large frame flew gracefully with a few if lazy wing beats having apparently thrusters in the bottom of her hooves pointing towards another larger built location with what looked like a Massive Cannon angled towards Equestria with the Stenciled ‘Moonshot Bitches!’ on it’s side.  

(“We would say the main Hub facility, to see about putting together a improved chassis of thy enjoyment.  But we could take a few lessons of ‘lunar flight’, so thou has a better ‘finesse’ of system controls for thy agile frame.”)

I put a hand to my chin and pondered this for a moment before I responded.

“[Well that sounds good, but I think that those lessons would be more useful  to have after I’ve been upgraded. Y’know that way I won’t have to relearn everything for usage in my new body.]”

She gave me a raised brow in response, before giving a possible sigh in response.

(“Thou should know having data to compare against when relearning, makes thy logic centers adapt faster.  Thou art a being similar to us, though we are not the same we each have our own special perception of all things.  From the wise to the fool, but let not a lack of knowledge lead thou as it would the fool.  Rise above it and grow wise from experience.”)  

She said this with a motherly expression, and I shrugged.

“[Well I suppose. Remember, I’m still new to all this. Being a data being and all. Still, either way is good I suppose. But either way, wherever you give me the lessons we may want to be away from all this. I got some serious thrust power in my pigtail thrusters and that’s only a fraction of my speed when my actual wings are active.]”

F.A.U.S.T. floated over closer, giving me what looks to be a once over.  But I saw and ‘felt’ her eyes scan my body leaving a warm shudder, as she used a finger to tap her chin as a smile broke out.  

(“Would thou care to accept a ‘tutorial’ program we would offer to help thou master thy form or bodies, so that adaption to what thou is is smoother and less ‘accident’ prone from miscalculations?  For surely it would help thou when in danger with thy beloved mate.”)

She added on that at the end, looking at me in a familiar sense. I smiled.

“[Sure, that sounds perfect!”]”

She simply gave a small smile, gesturing me to come closer as she landed softly.  I took a moment to question how she could be so heavy but not even leave an imprint in the lunar soil with her landing.  

(“We would simply ask that thou come to us, than offer us a port for transfer of the program.”)  

Her arms folded in front of her chest, raising her brow as if to watch what I would do. I shrugged.

“[Sure, I got an access port for data in the back of my head.]”

I span my head around like an owl and opened the small panel.

“[See? It’s actually there just for downloads and stuff like that.]”

I rotated my head back to normal positioning and looked to see her gesturing in a ‘come here’ method, looking amused. I walked over.

“[My fingers actually can reconfigure into plugs for getting data and all too, if that helps.]”

She nods slowly while motioning me to turn around, as if to look at my port and her now held cable mane strand.  

(“Thou art comfortable with this idea, just to be sure of this as we would not force anything upon thou.”)

She said in a motherly tone resting a hand on my shoulder. I raised an eyebrow.

“[Uh...Why wouldn’t I be? It’s just data, right?]”

This led to an incredible awkward conversation between F.AU.S.T. and I wherein she gave me the robotic/A.I. version of the birds and the bees, and why she was being weird about that. As it turned out transfer of data is kinda like... sex... for data beings. ((So much that I wish I could just erase from my databanks...ugh…)) After a while though I managed to determine in my own build’s data that at least for me it wouldn’t react the same way as it would for her, as my own OS didn’t have any data to interpret data transfer into sensation, unlike F.A.U.S.T’s. This was a great relief to me, and so it was a LOT less weird to get the program downloaded, though F.A.U.S.T did make some weird noises while uploading. ((This much I WAS able to erase from my databanks without consequence)). After a while I had gotten a good hold on how to fly in zero-G with my pigtail thrusters, and I decided I would deal with learning how to better use my wings after I had actually mastered regular flight with them. After that F.A.U.S.T led me into the facility again and took me around the factory areas where they constructed bio-mechanical units like herself, ((Good GOD did I have to edit my memory data after that… So much weirdness…)) and then to the machinery in her own office that she personally used.

The first odd thing out of place was a sort of coffee mug, which had ‘Best Alicorn’ stenciled on the side with a flourish of apparently Jack’s signature in smaller writing above it, it was kinda cute though the sight of fresh oil in it was a surprise. Other than that the office had a few consoles that exhibited 3D models of various bits of Hyperion tech, and finally the separate console where she informed me that we would develop my new build. The two of us worked fast, and I finally started seeing what she meant about thinking like a non-data being. We managed to complete a rough amalgam of her bio-tech with my current build, one that would maintain all of my current functions while still giving me some biological functions like being able to process regular food into fuel and having physical sensation, though it was muted compared to those of a full bio-tech being. The reason for this was the fact that we had to figure out a way for my artificial skin and flesh to have the capability of reconstructing into solid armor.

For the looks I decided to try and make it look like the Snafu comics XJ9, though without the jacket and made to be a tad thicker in build as well as being seven feet tall. F.A.U.S.T and I also worked out somewhat of a trade deal, where I would give her access to some of my own original body’s technology (weapons with cartoonish physics in being able to fold up and fit into a way too small space to name one) in exchange for me getting some access to various bits of Hyperion tech though both of us agreed to never abuse the others tech (in other words, I wouldn’t leak Hyperion tech to competitors and she won’t start using my tech without my permission) when trading.

After my new body was fully constructed (my old body having been left as a hollow shell after all of my weapons and gear were moved over, with some bits from one of F.A.U.S.T’s loaders put into it so that it could operate even whens tripped down until I was moved over. I plugged in (a variation of my access port in the back of my current head had been put into the new, but now I could seal it off at will to prevent unwanted access even when unconscious) and transferred myself over in an instant, taking a moment to adjust to having a sense of touch again. I stretched and took my first uncertain steps and managed to get the hang of it. I looked over at my old body where it stood the eyes now dark as it deactivated. It still had a great deal of strength from the loader components, as well as some minor flight and some small weapons. In programming it was just a copy of my basic OS with some bits of a loader OS to help it function. I had talked with F.A.U.S.T about it and decided to keep it, as either a simple momento or even a spare body if my current one got trashed and I needed to transfer over to keep myself alive in a combat situation. Along with that F.A.U.S.T and I worked out the first of our trades, with me giving some data on the basic laser weapons in my arms in exchange for some blueprints to a few Hyperion gun components, that way I could try and make my own part later and assemble my own extra weapons, as well as an electrical thorn shield to integrate into myself, that way I would have protection even with my body not set into combat mode. I chose to add it into my arm, on the side of my ‘bicep’ and partway onto the shoulder. After that we ended up deciding to head back, F.A.U.S.T giving me an Acquisition Beacon to use if I ever needed/wanted to call her. After that the two of us ended up heading back, figuring we’d want to be there when the guys got back from the party. Though I was more so wanting to see how Kyth reacted to the ‘new’ me...

I watched Dox, Tomas/James, Meowth, Ken, Wobbuffet, and Avarice scrap all of the loaders into a beautiful monstrosity of a miniature Mechagodzilla. Dox rammed the large gun he had bought into its mouth to give it a cannon. Dox put on the loader shoes he had and tested them with a grin.

“Ya know, I feel like Shadow the Hedgehog now.” He said. “Funny thing is, I saw one a few days ago.”

I casually glided through the air past him and spoke in an imitation of Shadow's voice.

“You’ll never be the real hedgehog, faker…He he heh, JK. I’m just gonna go grab loot from wherever now. Cya in a bit!”

With that, I spread my wings and went off and into the city. I first stopped into a 'beverage' store, looking to get a drink of water or something. I walked in and spoke to the terrified clerk.

"Hey. You got anything good to drink?"

She nodded and gave me a large bottle, speaking in a vaguely Russian accent.

"I-i-i-it's the best we have!"

I shrugged and picked it up. It was full of clear liquid that I assumed was water. Being on Earth again had made me forget the fact that I no longer looked like a scrawny teenager rather than a living demon, and thus I still figured that nobody would be able to sell me anything alcoholic. I chugged down the bottle and hissed afterwards as the liquid burned away at my throat but... It was kind of a good burn. I coughed afterwards anyway and felt a weird buzzing in my head. I looked at the empty bottle and on an urge threw it to the ground and shattered it.

"Wh-Whoa! That's... That whatever it was is some good shits! Another!"

I pointed at the clerk who nodded again and gave me another bottle. I took out all of the bits I had generated earlier and dropped them onto the counter, and then grabbed a whole bunch of extra jug/bottles and started off from the shop. I whooped and started flying again, drinking down another bottle. After a few minutes of straight flying I touched down in front of a large candy shop. I strode up to the entrance cockily and kicked the door in to the brightly lit establishment. I glanced across the room and locked eyes with the guy at the register, a man only a few years older than me. I pegged him as about nineteen or twenty. I spoke slowly in a low, old western movie villain voice.

"Alrighty yew giddy sonuva bitch. Gimme all the gummy worms, bears, and otherwise y'all have. And ALL the Swedish Fish!"

I drew my sword and held it out in front of me with one hand and held the Ins-Man tome in the other.

"And you best know that I'm gonna pay yew EXTRA fer all that!"

He shook in fear but nodded and started gathering it all up for me. After a few minutes I roared and swallowed a large bag of gummy materials, and generated payment for the lad.

"Son yew just take that money and don' tell nobuddy what yew saw herr but thet yew made the best sale this place had ever seen."

He feebly nodded and I took off. After that my memory fades a bit but here's what I figured out from getting into my ECHO's data.

"THOU SHALT NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! FEAR ME MORTAL SWINE I AM THE GUMMY BEAR KING!"

The police would never forget the day that Cthulhu descended and held a pig hostage on the roof of an Arby's, somehow having a supply of infinite rocks to throw at them while somehow being completely bulletproof. He roared at them as their Chief walked up to call him down.

"Sir! Let the pig go and we can work out a deal!"

"NEVAH! I NAMED HIM TREVOR AND I WILL SET HIS PEOPLE , NAY HIS PIGGLE FREE OF AMERICAN TYRANY! SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!"

He threw a Molotov cocktail down at them and they scattered, screaming as he seemed to shoot lightning at them, before spreading his wings and taking off, pig in hand, bag of vodka bottles on his back and sword at the ready. In the hours to come a number of farms between Las Vegas and Los Angeles would be assaulted and a stampede of mixed farm animals would be led into the wild by Cthulhu, who would later be reported by PETA as one of their  own champions. This would lead to the police leading a mass raid on them, but that's a story for another time.

The next events I recalled after a long while.

After that whole affair I found myself flying in a dazed and drunken state. Eventually I found himself landing in a tumble and stumbling to my feet. I looked down to see an old red brick building of a high school of some sort down below the hill from me, with a sign reading ‘Bonanza.High’.  From what I could tell I was somewhere in the city of Las Vegas in the residential districts to the west, though I still have no idea how I got around to that city so quickly. I looked around and was drunkenly surprised to see an utterly giant 50-foot anthro mutant alicorn Avarice sitting on the top of a nearby huge building just across the street and staring at the building with dead/glazed eyes. I used my wings and flew up to the building and landed by his side and poked him.

“H’lo Mr Big Guy!”

Of course, I didn’t consider that A; he was so huge my poking him was little more than a bug’s presence, B; he was totally nude, and C; that he probably couldn’t hear me from all the way down here at his butt. I took out my loot bag and rummaged around and pulled out a megaphone.

“I shaid H’LO!”

Again, despite how loud that was it sent my own hearing ringing, he just kept staring at the building with those glassy green eyes. I finally flew up to his shoulder and put the megaphone in his ear this time. I spoke again after taking another swig from one of the random bottles I had gathered.

“I’S NOT PERLITE TO NOT SAY H’LO BACK!”

I burped and watched the megaphone fall the long way down to the ground.I binked, one eye at a time and turned back to Avarice. He was still glassy-eyed, but he hummed and looked to me. Somewhere in my inebriated mind, I saw nothing but pain, and loss. Almost killed my buzz I think. “Hey...Kyth right?” He then grabbed me carefully in a hand and held me out in front of him so he could see me clearly. I remember standing on his palm was like being on a solid platform.

“What’re you doing all the way out here?”  I blinked.

“What’re YOU doing all the way out wherever thish is?”

His dead eyes looked mine directly into my soul. I don’t know how, I don’t know exactly why, but he smiled sadly and turned his gaze back to the old brick building. “We’re kindred spirits hm? Even if you don’t know it yet.”

I blinked. “Whatcha mean?”

“We’ve both lost absolutely everything.”

His voice was full of anguish, and even drunk, I felt a spike of pain in my heart, somehow knowing he was right. I blinked and tilted my head.

“Whut?”

“Hmph, nothing. Just the rambling of a broken man.” He continued to stare at the building, and I couldn’t help but be curious.

“Like how do you mean?”

“...That place down there. What does it mean to you?”

His question was odd, since the obvious answer was nothing.

“Likely you just thought it was meaningless. I would have said so too a couple years ago. But now...it’s everything good I had.”

He looked me in the eyes again, this time with anger in them, and I couldn’t tell if it was at me, or himself or something else entirely.

“Never take what you have for granted Kyth.”

I blinked and spoke in an uncertain voice, half my own half not.

“I saw my world get exploded.”

I felt a wave of nausea and I leaned against his thumb for support.

“Yups… I saw myself killin stuff…”

I glanced over at my reflection in Avarice’s eyes and saw myself with an empty expression. My skin had gotten darker and had the looks of mossy stone and one of my eyes had faded to nearly being black. I let out a low laugh and kept speaking.

“Heh...HehehHA! See, I saw everybody bleedin’ and screamin’ and I saw myself skoosh Jen like a little buggy while she was crying in pain… But you wanna know what else?”

I gave him a manic grin underneath my tentacles. I spoke in a low whisper that I knew he would be able to hear somehow.

“I’m not even gonna remember that I saw that, or that I said this, or anything else! Not just cuz’ something’s wrong in my noodle but just cuz some little part of me know this ain’t water! I’m not gonna even remember what it was like that I killed the woman I love or that I remembered enjoying it!”

I laughed and stumbled away from his face and barfed off the side of his hand. I giggled and looked back up at my reflection in his eyes and saw that I had gone back to normal. My memory went a bit fuzzy and later I would know that I had forgotten all that I had recalled and said. I gave a loopy smile up at him, one that could be compared to a cat that dropped a dead mouse at someones feet as a ‘present’.

“...Like I said.” Avarice looked back at the building, sad as ever. “Kindred spirits….” What I don’t remember anymore, is what happened after that. Later I managed to remember what happened a good while after that...

I roared at the machine in front of me.

"GIMME THE FUCKDAMN PERNGLES!"

I started shaking at the vending machine and watched as it refused to yield to me the Pringles I had payed for. I leaned down and wriggled my face tentacles into the slot and reached up throughout the machine. I felt total victory as the thing of Pringles dropped into my mouth. I used two of my tentacles to open it and I started eating them. Then I realized that I couldn't get loose. I started trying to pull away and after a few minutes I pulled at the machine and dragged it with me. I made it to the room where Dox, Avarice, and all the others had been staying. I knew they had locked me out with a specific purpose but I decided that this needed help. I backpedaled to the locked door and rammed my back against it and slowly it broke open.

*whump*

*whump*

*crack*

I managed to get though the doorway and into the room slightly. I spoke slowly, as I was still drunk from the night before.

“I got the Pringles!… But I shorta got shtuck....” I fell over on my back and looked up at everyone.  “Halp pls.”

“*Sigh* I’ll help you big guy, just let me find my underwear.” Said Asphyxious as he went back into the other room Alex was in.

“Okay, who of us DIDN’T screw each other?! Wake up!” Dox shouted, elbowing Avarice who, oddly enough, was nude in bed with him.

I laughed and yelled out. “I dunno! You guyses locked me in the hall, but I heard some SHIT! Like I heard grunts, schquealsh and even shomebody making cat noises! It was crazies… Hell I heard a shcream too I think.”

I burped and put a claw to my head. “Uh… I keep drinkin’ water but nothin makes me feel less weird…”

I took out a bottle of what I later learned was vodka and downed it, letting out a small hiss sound afterward.

Asphyxious walk back out of the room and closed the door and looked at everyone. “Don’t go in there Alex a little… Just don’t go in there” He came over to where I lay. "Just hold still big guy”

I heard a commotion from where Dox was. “NOPE!” He yelled, jumping out of bed, still nude but thankfully not facing me as I averted my eyes, and drew his sword. “NO! JUST, NO! NO SNU SNU FOR YOU!”

I wasn't sure of the specifics of what they were doing but I pointed vaguely to where I recalled Dox to be and yelled in a Scottish accent.

“SHE CANNAE TAKE ANYMORE CAP’N!”

Asphyxious growled at me and spoke.

“Shut your gob and hold still I can almost get it out I just have to reach a little deeper.”

“Mmph...what’s all the racket?” Avarice finally woke up, his currently anthro dragon body shifting up. “Pee….” He climbed out of the bed, ignored Dox, and stumbled into the bathroom.

I hear the Team Rocket guys saying something but I tuned it out.

“And there!, you’re free big guy.” Said Asphyxious with a smile. “Now I’m going check on Alex, seeing he’s a acting like a woman now. I’ll be right Back.”

I gave him a thumbs up and stood up, wobbling a tad. I looked over the room and felt my face bulge up, and I gagged.

“BLEEEEECH!!”

A small pigeon flew out of my mouth and landed softly on the ground and started pecking. I looked down to it for a moment before shrugging and sat down on a chair in the corner of the room, fully confused. I spoke a small tad.

“De fuuuhh…?”

Avarice came back from the bathroom, now wearing his pants and silver signet ring. “Ah~! Haven’t had to do that since I was Displaced. Now, so why’d you jump my bones last night Dox?”

“THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!” Dox yelled in a confused voice.  “I was drunk! I don’t even remember last night!”

“Well, while I was sober, you lot all stumbled here into West Vegas, tearing shit up and playing bumper cars with actual cars, being hilarious jackasses all the while, and then you all sorta collapsed after I, Jack, and Jacob all managed to corral you to the Texas Station casino hotel. You were all totally blitzed, way worse than anyone I’ve ever seen. Anyway, I decided to get you all situated while Jack, Crescent and Jacob all offered to watch the kid. Then...well...you kinda didn’t give me an option. Pulled some sort of bullshit attraction spell out of your ass and I couldn’t resist you.”

“So, wait.” Dox said. “I got drunk, and then jumped you.”

Avarice shrugged. “Had fun, but, eh, sorry. I don’t know enough about magic to snap out of a haze that heavy. I mean, damn. You got really creative.”

“I vaguely remember something about magic strip poker or something?” Said Asphyxious as he walked around fully dressed.

“God damn it.” Dox said. “Ya know, fuck it. I’m just wondering if I can change back or not.”

Don’t worry. I took care of the protection. The DM’s voice chimed through the area, though I heard some odd static mixed in.

“Wow, thaaaaaaanks.” Dox said. “Where were you when I got drunk and jumped him?”

You call that drunk? You were all drugged. One of the humans decided to try and have fun with you all and it all backfired. You even ended up killing him. Hell, his body’s in the corner of your room.

“Joke was on him! I ate his… Er... Oh right! I remembered it! I ate his spleen ‘n haggis!”

Dox gave me an odd look after I yelled this.

“Yo anybody hearing The DM right now, I only ever heard his voice once and that was with Dox and I was in the void that one time.” Said Asphyxious as he looks around. I held up a hand, about to enter into a grand speech.

“You guys oughta… Oughta know… BLEEEECHH!”

I looked down to the mess of Mtn. Dew, gummy material, and vodka, that once sat in my stomach but now covered the floor at my feet. I gave a thumbs up.

“I don’ remember anymores!”

“Well I hear him, but then again I’m kinda stuck with the fate of being a deity, and I just did the nasty with Dox like, twelve times at least.” Avarice added, and looked at the body, licking his lips. “Mmm...human...haven’t tasted that yet.”

“Listen.” Dox said as he shifted back to normal, his clothes thankfully returning. “Let’s just all head back, then we can all say our goodbyes and go home. I think I’ve had enough of our little party.” He took out the odd device from earlier, and opened a portal. “Well? Everyone through the portal, we’re going home.”

“The girls will not be pleased with any of us.” Said Asphyxious as he walked through. I let out a laugh.

“Tch! Says you! I didn’t sex nobody, I just drank and ate things! Hell I ateded a jellyfish! Or was it a fish covered in jelly? Eh… Either way, I gots loot and had some crazy shit happen!”

I took out a large sack of my gathered loot.

“Well we just ended up sulking around until you all showed up and Dox got freaky. Damn dude, just to let you know; you’re a natural. That’s what disturbs me, considering you don’t go all girly at all.” Avarice and Crescent said before merging together and moving to quickly eat the corpse in the corner while most of the guys other than me all looked away, but Dox grabbed his wrist with his robot arm.

“Shut the hell up before I make you.” He said, shoving Avarice and the rest of us through the portal.

On the other side of the portal all of the girls were waiting on us.

“They’re smiling at us...” Whispered Asphyxious.

“DOX!” Bluebelle screamed at Dox. “You have some explaining to do!”

“Can it wait until I send some people home?” He asked.

“You can send everyone but Arbok home! SHE! Deserves to know where she stands in our relationship. Those are YOUR offspring Dox! Didn’t you even battle for the right to be her mate?” Bluebell shouted as she stormed up to him, and grabbed his ear in a pinch. “Now move it mister!”

“AH~! NOT THE EAR!” He shouted in pain as he passed his other brides with Arbok. Luna took the portal device thingy from his pocket as they passed.

“You can all go home by just focusing on your dimensions with this, just leave it behind so the others can all go home too.” Luna instructed before handing the billiard-ball sized portal device to Sarah/Jessie, and turned to walk away after Sarah had nodded to Arbok, who slithered after them, her eggs still secure, three other Pokemon slithered towards their mother, the large shiny Arbok comforted her mother, while the tall dark Arbok stood protectively, a large blind Ekans with a large star birthmark slithered at the wrong direction and hugged a vase, until he noticed that his mother was ahead of him and started slithering towards her, smiling sheepishly.

“I want to wait and see what happens” Said Asphyxious with a smile, and I nodded fiercely behind him.

“Oh Kyth~!”

I looked up tiredly as F.A.U.S.T. called me. From behind her leg I saw Jen step out with an entirely reconstructed form. She smiled uncertainly at me as I made my way up to her.

“Uh...Hey Kyth uh...Whatcha think?”

I spoke in a flat tone.

“...You look sorta like when you were human.”

Jen gained a downtrodden expression, which immediately left her as I rammed her in a drunken hug.

“I alwaysh likeded the old you!”

I enjoyed Kyth's hug until I got a whiff off him. He smelled foul, like a mix of sickness, candy, and booze. I turned and glared at the crowd of males gathered in front of me. I held up Kyth with one arm and morphed out a blaster in my other, taking aim.

“Who the FUCK got Kyth wasted!?”

Asphyxious held up both hands and didn’t really do anything, then looked to the others.

”Well it was fun guys, but I think it time for me and the girls to head off home. Somebody say goodbye to Dox for me okay?”

He then walked over to his girls and headed off through the portal home that opened when Chrysalis touched the orb.

“I’m going to take a nice long nap once we get back” He said once they all walk through.

I sighed as I carried Kyth, who was now leaning on my back and letting out a soft snore, to the portal, mumbling. "Gods I am glad that F.A.U.S.T. let me make my upgraded body seven feet tall... Otherwise my eight foot tall boyfriend would be immensely difficult to carry..."

When I stood before the portal home I waved to F.A.U.S.T and all of the others in the room.

“Well I suppose it’s been a good night. Tell Dox we said goodbye and that we had fun, see you guys later! If I need any tech support I’ll call you F.A.U.S.T!”

I extended an arm out and grabbed the Hyperion Acquisition Beacon I had been given to call with and waved good bye as I carried Kyth through the portal. When we got home I helped him get into bed and sighed.

"He's gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow."

I gave a small smile and walked up to Kyth and gave him a kiss on the head. He opened one eye and grabbed me and gave me a deep kiss, to which I was slightly regretful that my new body could taste again despite how enjoyable it was. His mouth tasted like vodka and gummy bears. He let go and flopped back on the bed with a drunken smile as he fell asleep.

"Been wantin' to do that..."

I blushed and smiled. All in all, drunkness and awkward talks aside...

It had been pretty awesome for my first bachelorette party. Next Chapter: Chapter Fourteen: Recollections And Loot Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 32 Minutes