Chapter 29: Dear Princess Celestia

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have to say that over the past month, I’ve learned a lot about myself as a dragon and a lot more about true love and how one goes about finding it. It all started when I told Twilight I wanted to live with a dragon colony again. I know, you probably think that’s crazy given what happened last time, but I wanted to know if I could find somepony, or some dragon, that I would like. Well, I did meet one who became a good friend. Her name’s Ruby and she is very special to me now.

When I first met her, I didn’t know what to think. She seemed smarter than most dragons I’ve had the misfortune of meeting, and she didn’t disrespect ponies like a lot of dragons do, which I liked. Her father was actually the same dragon that Fluttershy convinced to leave the mountain and stop filling the skies of Ponyville with smoke. I thought that was cool.

Anyway, as you probably know, I had a crush on Rarity still, and I found myself missing her a lot while I was away. Don’t get me wrong, I missed all the other ponies I know, too, but I have to admit I missed her more than the others. While it was becoming clearer that what I really wanted was waiting for me back at home, I noticed that Ruby was becoming more attached to me, making my decision to return to Ponyville very difficult. But return I did, and wouldn’t you believe that she followed me all the way back?

I was freaking out at this point, because now she was straight up stalking me, but Twilight insisted that it was just her way of showing that she cared and that I should try and go on a date with her. I didn’t really want to, but I decided to go on a date with her to see how it would all work out, and it really wasn’t that bad. Little did I know that something was going to happen that would change my life.

When I returned from a date with Ruby one day, it was to find Rarity crying on the couch in the library. I later found out that Rarity had been messing around with Twilight and that Rarity had just found out that Twilight was now seeing Big Mac, but I didn’t know that at the time. All I knew was that when I tried to help Rarity feel better, she threw herself at me in ways I never would have imagined possible. I mean, I always thought she never really returned my affections, so I was really surprised and a little scared when she suddenly offered to do whatever I wanted with her. Figuring that she wasn’t in her right mind, I tried to say no to her, but she refused to accept that for an answer, telling me that she expected me to jump at this opportunity. She finally pinned me down to the floor and had her way with me, and it was the most confusing thing that has ever happened to me.

Part of me wish I hadn’t enjoyed it, part of me was disgusted that it happened, and part of me was grateful that it happened. I stayed quiet about it for quite some time after it happened because I was ashamed. I was so confused that at one point I tried to talk to Rarity about it and I ended up confessing that I loved her! Anyway, when Ruby and Twilight tried to get me to talk about it, I got sick of hiding it from them. I told Twilight first, and she took me to confront Rarity, who apologized to me almost as soon as we had sat down to talk.

Needless to say, I learned a lot about forgiveness from that experience. Rarity is still a great friend, and I’m not going to let one moment of clouded judgment keep us from being good friends, even though I no longer want to date her. And eventually, I did fall in love with the dragon that followed me all the way to Ponyville just to see me. We took her out of the hotel she had bullied her way into and she’s now living with Twilight and me at the library. I have to say I’m pretty happy with the way things turned out.

Sincerely,

Spike

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

This past month has sure been a strange one. Oh, before ah get into it, ah just wanted to apologize fer writin’ in dialect. It’s just more comfortable fer me that way.

Anyway, what was ah sayin’? Oh yeah, ah’ve had quite the month. Ah suppose it all started with that sleepover everypony had at Twilight’s library. We did some pretty silly things at that sleepover, thanks to the alcohol Rarity brought along with her. Well, ah’d best not beat around the bush when tryin’ to talk about this. Ah kissed Rarity full on the mouth for thirty seconds, and ah enjoyed it.

See, ah’d been tryin’ to hide it fer a long time, but ah’m a filly fooler. Ah like mares, stallions don’t turn me on in the slightest. Ah just wasn’t comfortable with it yet, and ah buried it so much that ah even hid it from mahself. It started to come back when ah offered to give Rainbow Dash a massage, which she accepted gratefully.

Now, that Rainbow Dash, why, she’s one of the most curious ponies ah’ve ever met. She was the only one of our group with sexual experience, and she already knew which way she flew. Ah wish ah could have been as comfortable with mahself as she was.

Maybe that’s one of the reasons ah fell in love with her.

Anyway, as luck would have it, she told me she was a filly fooler and ah took the initiative fer once in mah gosh-darned life and ah kissed her straight on the lips. We started goin’ out after that, and ah have to say ah’m really glad we did. Ah love Rainbow Dash more than anythin’ else on this earth.

There was one problem, though, and that was mah family. See, they didn’t take too kindly to filly fooling, and if they were to find out that I was involved in it, that meant big trouble for me. So ah kept mah relationship with Rainbow Dash a secret from them for the longest time, until ah finally got sick of it and told them how ah felt.

The results were not pretty.

Mah family kicked me outta the house, and ah ended up staying at Rainbow Dash’s while ah was estranged from them. It really hurt to think that mah family rejected me, even though Apple Bloom told me she wished I hadn’t gone. Well, Apple Bloom must have talked to Granny Smith and Big Mac, because after our tussle with Queen Chrysalis and Discord, they came back to me and asked me to return to Sweet Apple Acres. It turns out Big Mac was tirin’ himself out tryin’ to work the orchards all by his lonesome, and they told me it didn’t matter which way mah wagon swung, that they still loved me all the same.

Needless to say, ah was grateful fer their change of heart and they taught me that honesty will always win out over secrecy and lies. They apologized fer kickin’ me out of the farm and welcomed me back with open hooves. Now Rainbow Dash comes over and helps out on the farm, and she’s become a wonderful addition to the Apple family. Don’t tell anypony yet, but ah’m thinkin’ o’ askin’ her to marry me! Well, wish me luck, and thanks fer all yer help!

Regards,

Applejack

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

I’ve had a very confusing month. It turns out that I really like to act like a naughty pony and get punished for doing so with whips and chains and all sorts of other devices, and I’m still not sure why I am this way.

It started when Pinkie Pie and I tried some, what is it called, BDSM play. Twilight gave me a book on it, and I think it stands for Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism. Oh, you must think so badly of me for participating in this kind of thing. But participate we did, and I found myself liking it more and more.

Well, I finally came to my senses and put a stop to it, at least, somepony put a stop to it. I don’t remember who decided to quit, but it must have been me, because Pinkie Pie was enjoying it too much. Anyway, I decided to go into therapy to find out why I wanted to be punished so badly. That turned out to be a huge mistake.

See, the therapist started out behaving like a professional, but when I told him about my sexual play he asked if we perhaps wanted to try it. I was so afraid of saying no, and I hate myself for writing this but I was also attracted to him, so I went along with it. It started with just the infliction of pain, but things quickly escalated and we had sex.

Thankfully he didn’t impregnate me. We had sex only once before I told my friends what was going on and they told me sternly to stop seeing him. I listened to them, despite my secret desire to continue to see him.

I decided that if going to therapy wasn’t going to help me resolve my issues, then performing therapy with myself would surely help. So I took to journaling, and the more I wrote about myself, the more I realize my relationship with pain had a lot to do with my father. He was a pretty abusive pony, and he was always disappointed at my inability to fly. He had a belt that he would frequently use to whip me, and he did so relentlessly while my mother just sat and watched it happen. I’ve never told anypony about this before, at least not with this kind of detail, so let’s just keep this between us, okay?

When I realized I was trying to reconnect with my father, I decided to confront him directly by going over to Cloudsdale, where he still lives with my mother. I remembered the teachings of Iron Will as I made the nerve-wracking journey. Even though I took his teachings too far, Iron Will taught me a lot of helpful things about being assertive. Well, I went into my parents’ home and I told my father that what he did was not okay and permanently traumatized me. I started crying in the middle of talking to him but I didn’t let up, and even though he looked angry with me he sat back and listened. When I was done, he had nothing to say to me, but my mother started bawling uncontrollably and telling me how sorry she was that everything happened. My father just watched her as she cried, and I tried to give her a hug but she was inconsolable. Eventually, I decided it was best to just leave, and I feel a lot better about myself now that I’ve been assertive.

I’ve talked to Pinkie Pie, and she still likes the idea of messing around, but she’s okay with it if we don’t inflict pain on each other. I told her I was grateful, and I guess for the rest we will just have to wait and see. Thank you for reading this letter, and I hope I didn’t scare you or offend you in any way.

Yours truly,

Fluttershy

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

Hi! It’s your favorite neighborhood Pinkie Pie writing with a super-important update! This past month has been CRAZY, but mostly in a good way. I know, it’s hard to imagine crazy ever being bad, right? But I know sometimes it can be.

Anyway, I’m not sure if Fluttershy’s going to tell you any of this already, so sorry if I’m repeating myself here, but the two of us started to mess around with some BDSM stuff. I don’t remember what it stands for, but I think Fluttershy knows what it is, so she might tell you. Anyway, I was having a super-fun time with it, but I think Fluttershy didn’t really like it because she asked me to stop one day. I respected her wishes, even though I was a little sad that it was over.

After that some really weird stuff happened between Rainbow Dash and me. She was talking to me about Applejack and her not really getting along. I think one day she told me why they were fighting, and the next day I forgot and tried to ask only she refused to tell me, so that got me frustrated. Anyway, that’s not the important part. The important part was that Rainbow Dash kissed me while she was going out with Applejack! Can you believe it? I was quite frankly shocked and disgusted, and I told her she needed to work things out with Applejack and that we would keep this a secret. I mean, any other time, kissing Rainbow Dash might have been fun, but not when she was dating somepony else.

Anyway, I’m not sure if I should consider myself a filly fooler, because I liked when Fluttershy acted like a dominatrix over me and, even though I hate to admit it, kissing Rainbow Dash might have been a teensy little bit exciting. But I’ve never considered myself as a pony who liked mares. I mean, I certainly don’t fantasize about mares as much as I do about stallions, and the idea of a stallion sticking his dingus up inside me makes me all happy! Sorry, was that too much information? I have to remember that I’m writing to royalty here!

Anyway, with those thoughts spinning in my head, I forgot to tell you about the time I was kidnapped by Discord. Things actually didn’t go that badly. He fed me, got me water, and even trusted me enough to go outside the cave to do my business. I mean, I expected much harsher treatment from the god of chaos, but he was really rather polite for a kidnapper. Still, it made me very sad to think about missing my friends, so I’m glad they found out that Queen Chrysalis was impersonating me and that they found me so quickly after that.

Oh, isn’t this the part where I have to talk about what I’ve learned about friendship and magic? Yeah, I think it is! So I learned that your sexuality doesn’t have to be rigidly defined, that there’s a lot of mushy gray area in there. I also learned that it’s okay to rely on your friends and trust that they’ll help you when you need it, like how my friends came through for me when I was kidnapped. Oh, and also, I remembered the importance of keeping secrets. I guess the reason Queen Chrysalis gave herself away was because she blabbed about Rainbow Dash kissing me. I’m sure Applejack didn’t take that too well, but they came together to save me and they seem to be doing just fine now, so what do I know?

Anyway, I’m not used to writing such long letters, so I don’t really know how to end this except by telling you that Fluttershy and I kind of might be a couple now. She doesn’t want to do any more BDSM stuff but she’s willing to try other things and that gets me excited. Well, thanks for reading my letter, and I hope it was fun for you to learn a little more about me.

Your favorite party pony,

Pinkie Pie

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have had quite a confusing month, but it’s been a rush that I would never take back if I could. So much awesome stuff has happened, and there were a lot of ups and downs. Anyway, I should probably just get on with it and tell you what happened rather than bore you with all the buildup.

So before this month, I was the only one of my group of friends that actually has had sex. Now everypony has had sex with at least one other pony, and a lot has resulted from that, but I’ll let them tell you what happened. Anyway, I thought of myself as pretty comfortable with my filly fooling status, even though technically I’m bisexual, so I can’t just call myself a filly fooler. I do think of myself in that way now, thanks to Applejack.

I think it was the sleepover that first made me realize I might have feelings for her. She gave me the best massage that night, and when she started to rub me down my wings almost stiffened up, which would have given me away. This is probably a bit personal, but do you know that feeling when you’re with somepony you really like and your wings get stiff? Wait, you’re gods, do you even get feelings for anypony else. Sorry, sorry, I’m getting distracted. Where was I?

Yeah, so I knew I definitely had feelings for Applejack, and she definitely showed me she had feelings for me when she kissed me. Wow, was that exhilarating, almost as awesome as performing a Sonic Rainboom! Wait, no, even more awesome than that, if you can believe it. So we did what we thought was best and decided to start going out.

Well, I think I offended her by my choice of food, among other things, but the first date wasn’t the best. We got on each other’s nerves a lot, and because of that I started getting really confused about how I felt about her. You know, I was wondering whether it was strictly physical or if it was just friendship or maybe a combination of friendship and lust. I couldn’t put my hoof on it. Well, before I figured it out I did something that I kind of regret. I ended up kissing Pinkie Pie, because well, she was there for me when things with Applejack were confusing, and I was attracted to her, too.

After that, I think our arguing fizzled out, because spending time with Applejack quickly became like the best thing ever. I was riding on cloud nine when I was spending time with her, and it got even better when Applejack told her family about us and they decided to kick her out of her home. I mean, it sucked that Applejack was rejected by her family, but she got to move in with me, so I was within her awesome presence almost all the time. I really cherish that time we had together, because it brought us a lot closer.

When that imposter spilled the beans about me kissing Pinkie Pie (I still don’t know how she found that out), I thought my relationship with Applejack was over. Thankfully, we came together to take out Discord, but after that she still wouldn’t talk to me. I asked Twilight about it, and she told me not to give up on her. I begged and pleaded for her to forgive me, and eventually she finally did. Boy, was I relieved when that happened! I definitely learned my lesson about being faithful though. And here I thought I was the Element of Loyalty, but it doesn’t matter, you always have something to learn.

Well, I’m always hanging out with the Apple family now, helping AJ out on the farm and eating delicious apple treats with all of AJ’s relatives at the dinner table. Anyway, I think I’ve covered everything I wanted to say, so this is Rainbow Dash signing off.

See you!

Rainbow Dash

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

Never have my emotions been more tried and my confidence been more shattered than over the course of events of the past month. I have behaved in ways I would consider deplorable, and yet my friends still stand by my side, even when I can barely look at myself in the mirror.

Of course, love is always where these sorts of tragedies start. Twilight Sparkle and I started to share, well, very intimately. A lady does not divulge the details, but I thought we had something special and started to feel what felt like true love.

This was surprising to me. I had never considered myself a filly fooler by any means, and what started as an innocent fling turned into something much more, at least for me. It would appear that Twilight did not feel the same way, because behind my back she started a relationship with Applejack’s brother, Big Mac.

How torn apart I felt to discover it the way I did! There I was, at the library, coming on to Twilight, and she tells me it’s not a good time and that I should leave. Then he knocks and let’s on that he’s arrived to pick her up for her date, and my heart breaks apart. They leave me to wallow on the couch of despair as they go off frolicking or whatever it was they got into doing.

But the monstrosities do not end there. In walks Spike, the treasure of a dragon who has been smitten with me ever since he met me. My heart, broken beyond repair, starts to lead me down a very dark road, a road paved by revenge. Taking my anger out on Spike is something I seriously regret, and I wish I could do anything to take it back. I suppose it won’t do to beat around the bush as I am, so I must confess to you, Princess Celestia, that I raped the poor dragon.

It is unthinkable, and yet it is what I did. But rather than grow to hate and despise me, the little dragon later confesses that he loves me! How cruel is this world? I can’t imagine why he would still be infatuated with me after what I did to him, but that is the way it is. He then tells Twilight, who comes with Spike and Big Mac in tow, and when she knocks on my door, I fear I am done for. But, despite her anger, she deals with me reasonably and we sort out the mess of the event and it seems all is forgiven. But there is still an ache in my heart that chastises me for what I have done, and while the other ponies seem to have forgiven me, I have not been able to forgive myself.

Spike is just a darling with his little dragon girlfriend now, and I can tell the two love each other very much. The little dragon seems unfazed by the horrors I put him through. So why can’t I let go the horrible crime I have committed?

Princess Celestia, I beg of you, help me learn how to forgive myself as my friends have forgiven me. I want nothing else than to love myself again, and I cannot do it with this black deed hanging over my head. If you can do this, I would have no way of being able to repay you but with my undying gratitude. Oh, please, princess, heal my ailing heart! I eagerly await your reply, hoping you can remove this shadow that has been cast above my head ever since I made that fated decision.

Forever yours,

Rarity

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have had a month unlike any other since I first arrived in Ponyville. I’ve learned so much about myself and the power of friendship that I cannot believe it.

It starts with Rarity. The two of us decided to explore our sexualities together, and what bliss did we come to when we did! The forces between us were something I have never experienced, and though I still don’t consider myself a filly fooler, I can understand how this sexual power can bind ponies together, ponies like Applejack and Rainbow Dash, who I am glad to report are faring quite well together.

Oh, but how this is ever so confusing. My fun with Rarity, I didn’t think it meant any more to her than it meant to me, as delightful bliss shared between two good friends. I’m afraid to say that Rarity fell in love with me, but by the time I realized that I was already interested in Big Mac and starting to date him.

What happened next I continue to feel guilty over, even though I keep telling myself that I didn’t force Rarity to do what she did. You see, princess, Rarity forced Spike to have sex with her. I couldn’t believe it when Spike told me. It was rape, and it made me angry. Still, when I went over to the boutique to confront her, I remembered that we were still friends and that she probably already felt overwhelmingly guilty about the whole thing. I’m actually not sure what kind of letter she’s going to send you, but I hope she isn’t too hard on herself.

I’m glad to say that I found it in my heart to forgive her, and so did my other friends when she confessed to them what she did. It really speaks to the power of our friendship that it can withstand something so dark and still shine through.

But now I should discuss my relationship with Big Mac. That stallion is so even-tempered, so stoic, and so ridiculously calm that he assuages my neuroses quite effectively. But even he was surprised when I brought him the news that I was pregnant with his foal.

Can you believe it, Princess Celestia? I’m going to be a mother! Never could I have prepared myself for this, and my friends were all shocked when I told them. But now Pinkie Pie’s arranging the baby shower, and we’re just five months away from our new foal being born.

Big Mac and I are planning a wedding, and I would really appreciate it if you could come. We’re going to have it at Sweet Apple Acres, so I can understand if you are unable to get away from your royal duties to attend. In any case, I hope you won’t be too disappointed in me that we didn’t wait to get married before, well, you know…

Well, I think that’s everything I wanted to say. Say hello to Princess Luna for me, and I eagerly await your reply and I hope to see you at the wedding.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle