Chapter 25: Now or Never

“Ya know, Rainbow Dash, I’ve just about had it with all this secrecy,” Applejack told her confidant while they were eating lunch together. The two ponies were sitting outside with the sun beating down on them, a blanket laid out with all kinds of food suited for a picnic. Applejack was munching on a sunflower sandwich, while Rainbow Dash helped herself to a salad. She didn’t dare bring one of her more exotic foods for fear of upsetting Applejack again.

“What do you mean?” Rainbow Dash asked, although she was sure she knew the answer.

“Ah mean ah need to tell mah family about us,” Applejack said through a mouthful of sandwich. “It’s high past time ah stopped all the lyin’ and the hidin’ and just came out with the truth.”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Rainbow Dash said.

“And why the hay not?” Applejack asked.

“Because they’re going to reject you. You made their old-fashioned views on sexuality painfully clear before. What’s making you so eager to tell them about us all of a sudden?”

“Ah just don’t like keepin’ secrets, RD, it’s dishonest.”

“Oh, for the love of Celestia, Applejack, I know you’re the Element of Honesty, but sometimes there’s a reason to keep secrets.”

“And just what might that be?” Applejack asked.

“Well, in your case, you want your family to support you, don’t you?”

“Are you implyin’ that by tellin’ them about us, they’re gonna just turn their backs on me?”

“I’m afraid that’s exactly what will happen,” Rainbow Dash said. “Think of it from their perspective. They’ve watched you grow up a happy filly into the magnificent mare you are today. Now you’re nearing your foal-bearing years, and it’s about time you found yourself a nice colt, settle down, and start raising a family of your own. Tell me that hasn’t been brought up in your family.”

“Well, Granny Smith did start hintin’ that she wanted to see great grand-foals…”

“Yeah, and who do you think’s going to give them to her? Big Mac? He only just started dating Twilight; they’re not about to get married and get to rutting, are they?”

“They might,” Applejack said weakly.

“AJ, we’re talking about Twilight and Big Mac here. They’re two of the most sexually introverted ponies I’ve ever met. What are the odds of them bearing foals anytime soon?”

“Well, you might have a point there…” Applejack conceded.

“So the burden falls on you to start a family, and how are you going to do that without dating a colt first? So what’s she going to say when she finds out your into mares?”

“She’ll be mighty disappointed,” Applejack said with a sigh.

“Do you really want to be the one to break that news to her?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Ah don’t know, RD, ah hear what yer sayin’, but my gut’s beggin’ me to tell the truth. Ah’m sure mah family will support me no matter what ah tell them.”

“Are you sure about that?” Rainbow Dash asked. There was a very pregnant pause.

“No,” Applejack admitted, “but ain’t that just the way life is? Ya gotta take chances every once in a while.”

“Well, you do what you want, but trust me, it’s not going to be pretty,” Rainbow Dash warned.

“And what about yer family?” Applejack asked. “What do they think of all this?”

“I haven’t talked to my family in years. Or did you so easily forget that?”

“Oh, Rainbow Dash, ah’m ever so sorry. Ah didn’t mean to bring that up again.”

“Forget it,” Rainbow Dash said. “It hardly matters anyway.”

“That ain’t true. It does matter if you don’t want to talk to yer family. Why, ah can’t imagine livin’ that kind of life.”

“Well, you might imagine it pretty soon, because you might be the next one to lose your family.”

“Rainbow Dash, ah swear to you. Mah family isn’t about to let me down like that.”

“That’s what I always used to say, until it actually happened,” Rainbow Dash said. “You just never know when you’re going to cross that line.”

“Well ah know mah family will stand by me, even if they don’t quite understand at first.”

“All I can say is good luck,” Rainbow Dash said. “I hope they’re okay with it.”

“Me too,” Applejack said. “Me too…”

***

“Um, hello, Doctor Shrink…” Fluttershy said as she entered the doctor’s office.

“Fluttershy, how lovely to see you again. How have the last couple of days been?” Fluttershy laid herself down on the couch, as she did for all of her sessions.

“I think I have a problem, sir,” Fluttershy said, “but I don’t know how to tell you.”

She lay in bed, ropes tying her to the bedpost. She was waiting for somepony to return, and this certain somepony was going to punish her for being a very bad pony. She struggled against the ropes, but knew they wouldn’t budge. A surge of excitement through her loins told her that she very much wanted this treatment.

“And what seems to be the problem, Fluttershy?”

“Well, Doctor, there’s this certain somepony who I’ve been thinking a lot about for the past couple of days.”

Suddenly she saw the pony enter the room. Fluttershy’s stomach clenched both with fear and excitement. She looked at the pony and realized he was holding a whip in his hoof. Imagining what the whip would do to her, Fluttershy tensed and readied herself as the pony approached her.

“What have you been thinking about them?” Doctor Shrink asked.

“I keep thinking that they want to do bad things to me, to punish me for something I’ve done wrong.”

“And have you done anything wrong, Fluttershy?”

“No, I haven’t, not really. But I’m still expecting punishment.”

“And how does that make you feel,” Doctor Shrink asked, “this foreboding of punishment?”

“Well,” Fluttershy said, “I kind of like it…”

The pony cracked the whip near her face when he arrived at the bed Fluttershy was tied to. Fluttershy swallowed nervously and clenched her teeth. The pony brushed the end of the whip against Fluttershy’s face, letting the tendril of rope slide down her body. Fluttershy could feel herself becoming wet with anticipation, and a quick whiff of the air informed the other pony of this as well.

“You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?” the pony asked.

“Oh yes, I’ve been begging for this to happen,” Fluttershy said.

“You’ve been a very naughty pony, haven’t you, Fluttershy?” the pony asked, whipping her suddenly in the back. Fluttershy cringed as she felt the pain lash through her back.

“Yes,” she said through clenched teeth.

“And what needs to happen to naughty ponies?” the pony asked, whipping Fluttershy in the same spot on her back.

“They need to be punished,” Fluttershy muttered.

“What was that?” the pony asked, whipping her once again.

“They need to be punished,” Fluttershy said, a bit more strongly this time.

“I can’t hear you!” the pony cried, whipping Fluttershy on the rump.

“THEY NEED TO BE PUNISHED!” Fluttershy cried, managing to turn her scream of pain into a declaration. The pony sneered, dragging the end of the whip across the sores on Fluttershy’s back.

“Very good. Indeed they do.”

“You…like it?” the doctor asked.

“Yes, I do. Oh, please don’t think little of me. I know I’m a bit disturbed, but I really can’t help it, I just get off on the idea of being punished for something, even when I don’t know what it is. Oh, you must think I’m a terrible pony…” A rush of excitement coursed through Fluttershy as illicit thoughts formed in her mind.

“I don’t think little of you at all, Fluttershy. I’m well versed in the theories behind masochism, and I believe it’s perfectly normal.” Doctor Shrink couldn’t help but imagine himself leering over Fluttershy, spanking her until her rump was sore. He shook away the thought and told himself he had to maintain his professionalism.

“What I want to know,” he said, “is who you are thinking about. Who’s inflicting the punishment?”

The whip cracked again and again, hitting Fluttershy in all the sore spots on her back. She had long since been reduced to tears, cringing as the rope struck her, eager for the next hit to come. The pony above her showed no mercy, that sneer still painted on his face as he lowered his hoof one more time. Fluttershy knew her body couldn’t take much more; she was either going to orgasm or pass out from all the pain. Either way, that excitement still sat in her stomach as her darkest fantasies were satisfied.

“That’s the hard part of telling you this,” Fluttershy said.

“What’s hard?” Doctor Shrink asked.

“Saying who it is, that’s the part that I’m struggling with,” Fluttershy said. “I’ve been having these fantasies about him for the past few nights, sometimes with a flogger, sometimes with a…” Fluttershy started tearing up now, “with a dildo, but the most pervasive one is one where he’s using a whip. That’s the one that keeps waking me up at night, the one that’s haunting my dreams. And I can tell you all of this just fine, but telling you who…I don’t think I could bear it.”

“What makes it so hard?” the doctor asked, ignoring the images of him thrusting a dildo into Fluttershy.

“It’s…it’s just so shameful, all of these thoughts. I don’t want the pony I’m thinking about to find out I think about him like this.”

“Why would he ever find out?” the doctor asked. “Our meetings are confidential. Nopony outside this office is going to know what we talk about here, I promise.” Suddenly, the doctor felt his thoughts converge on the answer. He now knew exactly why Fluttershy was afraid the pony of her desires would find out, because that pony was the very one she was supposed to talk to about this.

“Fluttershy,” Doctor Shrink said slowly, “you weren’t thinking about…me, were you?” Fluttershy whimpered and started to cry, her body convulsing as if she was cold and shivering. This was the only answer the doctor needed. He rose from his chair and knelt so he could look at Fluttershy face-to-face.

“Fluttershy, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, do you hear me? There is absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, this sort of transference is a normal part of psychotherapy. The patient often projects her deepest desires onto her therapist, and it is up to the two of them to explore this transference and deduce what it means symbolically. Does that make sense?”

“I suppose…” Fluttershy said through her sobs.

“It was very brave of you to tell me this,” Doctor Shrink said. “Most patients don’t reach this point in their therapy, especially not so soon. You should be proud, Fluttershy.”

“But I didn’t tell you directly,” Fluttershy said. “You figured it out on your own…”

“Not without your hints,” Doctor Shrink said.

“Still, I feel like such a bad pony…” Fluttershy said.

“Fluttershy, do you want me to punish you right now?” Fluttershy nodded, afraid to speak her dark desire. Doctor Shrink saw how fragile she was, how delicate, and he found it incredibly erotic. He shifted his chair so that it was behind his desk, hoping that Fluttershy wouldn’t see the erection that was slowly and surely developing. But the more desperately he tried to put up professional barriers, the more excited the doctor became to break them. All he needed was a justification, and he would lay his hooves on Fluttershy as fast as he could. Suddenly, in his dark mind, he found one.

“I want to try a sort of experimental therapy,” Doctor Shrink said. Fluttershy finally dared to look at him, and she could see a glimmer of eagerness in his eyes that frightened and excited her. This wasn’t possible. He couldn’t feel the same way…could he?

“Fluttershy, how would you feel if we played out this fantasy of yours right here, in my office? If we brought your deepest desires into the light of the real world, we might be able to find out what is causing them, making our work far easier. We could then work to overcome these desires, if you so wished. How does that sound?” Fluttershy felt her stomach explode with nervous energy. Did she hear him right? Was he really proposing to…punish her in exactly the way she wanted to be punished? Her gut told her that what he was doing was wrong, but the wrongness of it only excited her more. She was too timid to express her desires however, afraid that this was another of her dreams from which she would soon wake up.

“I need an answer, Fluttershy,” the doctor said, trying to curtail the frustration in his voice. That anger only served to excite Fluttershy even more. Enough anger, and he just might punish her even more severely…

The doctor hesitated, afraid he had pushed too far.

“I…understand if you don’t want to try this, Fluttershy. I would be lying if I said this was ethical, and it was wrong of me to bring it up. I would understand also if you didn’t want to see me anymore.” Fluttershy felt frightened, her opportunity was slipping away, and she needed to grasp at it quickly.

“I’ll do it,” she squeaked, trying to fight the tears that were threatening to leak from her eyes.

“I’m sorry?” Doctor Shrink asked, not sure if he believed what he thought he heard.

“I want to be…punished…” Fluttershy whispered, breathing heavily with fear. She could feel her heart pounding, afraid she was already too late, that he had already rescinded his offer.

“You…want to do this?” Doctor Shrink asked.

“Yes,” Fluttershy said, now becoming aggravated. How many times did she have to tell him?

Doctor Shrink rose from his chair and walked over to Fluttershy, his form looming over her as she lay on the couch.

“Turn over,” Doctor Shrink said, his voice cold and empty. Fluttershy, knowing what he wanted, turned onto her stomach. Beneath her thighs, Doctor Shrink could already see Fluttershy seeping onto herself, and he smiled to himself. He raised a hoof and lowered it onto Fluttershy’s rump. Fluttershy squeaked when she felt the impact and then squealed with excitement. Doctor Shrink spanked her again, and Fluttershy’s squeak became louder. This went on for quite some time, until Fluttershy’s cries echoed through the office and her rump was red, sore from the doctor’s punishment. Fluttershy started sobbing, and before the doctor lowered his hoof again, he stopped and knelt down to Fluttershy’s level.

“It’s okay, Fluttershy,” he said softly, all of the warmth returning to his voice. “I think that’s about enough punishment for one session. Is that all right?” Fluttershy nodded. Doctor Shrink patted her on the head affectionately before returning to his desk.

“Dear me, look at the time. I think it’s time for you to get going, Fluttershy.” Fluttershy felt relieved and disappointed at the same time, relieved that the pain was over, but disappointed that pleasure wasn’t waiting on the other side. For there was another part to her fantasy, one that she refused to tell the doctor, that involved passionate love-making after the punishment had subsided.

“Okay,” Fluttershy said, rising from the couch and headed for the door. She was about to open it when the doctor’s voice stopped her.

“Fluttershy,” he said. “I can bring some…toys for next time, if you like. Is there anything you’d like me to use?” Fluttershy felt a rush of excitement return to her. She turned around and faced the doctor bravely.

“A whip,” she said.

***

This is it! Applejack thought to herself. She was sitting at the kitchen table with Granny Smith, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom and all four of them were eating their dinners rather quietly. Applejack cleared her throat, and the other three members of the family looked at her expectedly. Applejack looked at them all and smiled sheepishly. Granny Smith stared at Applejack inquisitively.

“Well, what is it, Applejack?” she asked. Apple Bloom and Big Mac both looked at her also.

Now or never, Applejack said to herself.

“Um, ah have something to tell you that’s pretty important,” Applejack said. “If y’all will just hear me out, I’d appreciate it.”

“We’re listening,” Granny Smith said. Applejack gulped nervously, Rainbow Dash’s words echoing in her head. Well, there was nothing for it. She had to tell them now, because she couldn’t think of anything else to tell them that would cover her tracks.

“Well, ah’ve always wondered to myself why ah never seemed to be interested in colts,” Applejack said, “and it turns out that ah’m not interested in colts. About a month ago, ah started dating a mare, and ah’ve really fallen in love with her. She gets me in almost every way, and ah can’t imagine mah life without her.”

“So wait,” Big Mac said, “you’re telling us you…like mares?”

“Ah reckon ah’m a filly fooler,” Applejack said.

“You’re a what?” Granny Smith asked, and her tone suggested to Applejack that she wasn’t pleased with what she heard. Applejack sighed and tried to explain it to her.

“Look, Granny Smith, ah can do lots of things, but ah can’t pretend to be interested in a sex that ah just ain’t interested in. Ah don’t like colts, that’s all there is to it.”

“But ya never even gave one a chance,” Granny Smith said. “What about Lucky? Ah heard he really fancied ya, and ya just wrote him off.”

“Like ah said, ah wasn’t interested,” Applejack said.

“And why not?” Granny Smith asked. Applejack felt nerves enter her stomach. This was a lot more awkward than she had anticipated.

“Ah don’t know, it just isn’t in me. Like, fer example, why doesn’t Big Macintosh like colts?”

“Why are you bringin’ me into this?” Big Mac asked.

“Ah’m not bringin’ you into this,” Applejack said, “ah’m just usin’ you as an example. Ah mean, think about it, Granny Smith. Big Mac ain’t interested in colts, and nobody bats an eye, ’cause it’s just natural. Well, ah ain’t interested in colts neither, it’s just the way ah was made.”

“Well, that’s very disappointing to hear, Applejack,” Granny Smith said coldly.

“What do ya mean, Granny Smith?” Applejack asked.

“Because ah don’t approve o’ your choices, that’s why!”

“It ain’t a choice, Granny Smith, it’s just how ah am.”

“I ain’t never seen a mare datin’ other mares, it just ain’t natural! So, rather than settle down with a nice colt and raise a family, yer choosin’ to live this filthy lifestyle. Well, ah won’t have it in mah house!” Granny Smith slammed her hoof into the table to emphasize her point. Applejack started to tear up. Desperate for some support, she turned to Big Mac.

“You get it, don’t ya, Mac? In a way, ah’m just like you. I ain’t interested in no colts and ah like mares, just like you. Don’t ya get it?”

“Ah reckon ah don’t,” Big Mac said. “Yer a beautiful mare, Applejack. You’ve got a lot goin’ fer you, and any colt would kill to court you. Ah just don’t understand why you’d choose to throw that all away.”

“How many times do ah have to tell you, it ain’t a choice! Apple Bloom, don’t you understand?”

“Leave Apple Bloom out of this!” Granny Smith said. “It’s bad enough she’s heard you spoutin’ such filth. Ah don’t want you corruptin’ her. You know, she looks up to you, Applejack. You need to set the example for her, and ya ain’t gonna do it by datin’ no mares!”

“But Granny Smith–”

“Ah don’t want to hear any more of it. If that’s how ya really feel, ah want you out of this house. You can move in with whatever mare you’ve convinced to date ya. Who is this unlucky find o’ yours, anyhow? Not that ah’m curious, ah just want to be warned.”

“It’s…it’s Rainbow Dash…” Applejack said, remembering her words of warning and realizing how horribly right she had been.

“A fine young mare she used to be, too. It’s a shame. Now pack yer things and get out! Ah won’t have such a filthy lifestyle in mah house.” Applejack rose from the dinner table and trotted sadly upstairs to her room. She spent the next hour gathering all of her belongings and putting them in her saddle pack. While she was in the middle of doing so, she heard a knock at the door. Applejack turned and saw Apple Bloom walk in.

“What do you want, Apple Bloom?” Applejack asked.

“Ah don’t want ya to go,” Apple Bloom said. “Granny Smith told me not to talk to you, so ah told her ah had to go to the bathroom. Ah just want to let you know that ah don’t think it’s weird at all.”

“Thanks Applebloom, but don’t let Granny Smith hear ya say that, or she’ll be even more upset at me.”

“Well, ah’m not gonna like mares or nothin’, but ah wish you wouldn’t go…” Apple Bloom started crying, and Applejack went over and gave her a hug.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll be at Rainbow Dash’s until this is all over. Ah’m sure things are gonna turn around.”

“Ah hope yer right, Applejack.”

“Don’t worry. You’d better get back down there before they start wonderin’ where ya went.”

“Okay…” Apple Bloom said, returning to the kitchen. Applejack finally gathered all of her things and left the house without saying goodbye to her family. She would head over to Rainbow Dash’s momentarily, but she needed Twilight to cast a cloud-walking spell on her so she could stay with her marefriend. So Applejack headed towards Twilight’s library. Along the way, she wondered if she should’ve just kept everything a secret. A little too late to be wonderin’ that, Applejack, she said to herself. She hung her head down as she trotted to Twilight’s library. When she finally arrived, it had gotten dark. Applejack knocked on the door, and Twilight went over and answered it.

“Hi Applejack. Um…why are you carrying your saddle pack?”

“Ah got kicked outta mah house,” Applejack said.

“What? Why?” Twilight asked.

“Ah told mah family about me and Rainbow Dash…” Applejack said.

“Oh, Applejack, why would you do that?” Twilight asked. “Come in. I’m sure I can find a place for you to sleep.”

“Oh, ah don’t need that, Twilight. Ah’ll be stayin’ with Rainbow Dash. Ah just need–”

“–the cloud-walking spell, got it,” Twilight said. She ran upstairs to find the book she needed to perform the spell and came back down quickly with it. She performed the spell with little difficulty, and Applejack thanked her for doing so.

“Do you want me to talk to Big Mac for you?” Twilight asked.

“Nah, ah don’t need ya to do that. He’s already made up his mind.”

“But Applejack, how long can you go on without your family?”

“As long as ah have to,” Applejack said. “Ah have to get goin’, Twilight.”

“Okay. Well, good luck, Applejack. I hope things turn around for you.”

“Ah hope so too,” Applejack said before leaving the library. She once again made the solo journey, this time to Rainbow Dash’s house on the outskirts of Ponyville. Rainbow Dash saw Applejack, flew down, and gave her a big hug. Applejack started to cry, and her tears fell down Rainbow Dash’s shoulder, but Rainbow Dash didn’t mind.

“Did you get everything from your house?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Yep,” Applejack said. Rainbow Dash then picked her up and brought her inside the house. The floor was as fluffy as Applejack remembered it.

“I don’t want to say I told you so, because it doesn’t seem right to kick a mare when she’s down,” Rainbow Dash said.

“No, you were right,” Applejack conceded. “Ah should’ve known better than to tell mah folks.”

“No, I think you did the right thing,” Rainbow Dash said. “Besides, now you get to live with me. How awesome is that?” Applejack laughed.

“Pretty awesome, I guess,” she said.

“You know we’re going to have all kinds of sex,” Rainbow Dash said. Applejack laughed again.

“Ah don’t think ah’m in the mood fer that tonight, but soon,” she said.

“Fair enough. I wouldn’t be in the mood either. Let’s just hit the sack.”

“Sounds good to me,” Applejack said. She decided she could unpack her saddle pack later. Right now, she needed to lie next to Rainbow Dash and get a good night’s sleep. She tucked herself underneath the covers and wrapped her arms around Rainbow Dash before the two of them fell asleep.