Chapter 2: Fuck, Buck, or Marry

Once everypony had settled into their sleeping bags (or, in Twilight’s case, a bed), Twilight used her magic to shut off the lights.

“Um, Twilight?” Fluttershy whispered. “If it isn’t too much trouble, could you turn on the light in the stairway? Only I’m a little afraid of the dark…”

“No problem, Fluttershy,” Twilight said, and a dim light flicked on in the stairwell.

“Much better. Thank you.”

“No problem,” Twilight said.

“Fluttershy, is there anything that doesn’t scare you?” Rainbow Dash muttered groggily.

“Rainbow Dash, don’t be so insensitive,” Rarity chided.

“No, Rarity, it’s okay,” Fluttershy said. “Well, Rainbow Dash, animals don’t scare me because I’m good with them, and I like the trees and the flowers, but…I guess you could say there are a lot of things that could scare me.”

“Yeah, but you did admit that you liked to clop,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Rainbow Dash¬―” Rarity sputtered.

“Rarity, it’s fine, really,” Fluttershy said.

“Are you sure, dear?” Rarity asked.

“Pretty sure,” Fluttershy said. Rarity let out an exasperated sigh.

“Well, Rainbow Dash, at first I was really uncomfortable about it, but once I decided to start I realized how good it felt, and I guess I’ve just been doing it ever since…”

“Oh, okay,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Hey,” Applejack said, “if it isn’t intrudin’, do you pegasi ever git, ya know…stiff in the wings?”

“What?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Ya know…wing-boners?”

“So immature,” Rarity mumbled.

“Well…yeah,” Rainbow Dash said, “especially if you stroke them real gently. Sometimes it’s a problem when you’re flying; you gotta stay loose or you risk not catching any air drafts and you could fall.”

“Ah never knew that,” Applejack said.

“Well, where did you hear about them?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Oh, ah meant ah never knew the whole danger-when-flying thing. Ah guess I just used to hear other pegasi talkin’ about it when ah was in town.”

“That’s a little strange to be talking about that in public,” Twilight said.

“Well…they might have been a little inebriated,” Applejack elaborated.

“Whoa, Applejack,” Pinkie Pie suddenly chirped up, “you’ve been out partying at night?”

“Well…once in a while, when I have the next day off,” Applejack said, starting to feel self-conscious.

“How come I’ve never seen you?” Pinkie Pie asked.

Applejack felt uncomfortable trying to explain herself. The truth was that she did try to make a point of avoiding her friends when she was out at night, for reasons too complicated to begin to talk about. She wasn’t even sure why the hypothetical situation made her so wary.

“Ah reckon we just happen to miss each other,” Applejack said, which wasn’t really a lie, but it failed to elaborate upon why they happened to miss each other.

“Hey, speaking of weird erections,” Rainbow Dash said, “I’ve…kind of heard that unicorns’ horns are really sensitive to touch. Is that true?”

“Rainbow Dash, honestly!” Rarity huffed. “Don’t you think that’s a bit personal?”

“It’s about as personal as what you were doing with Applejack earlier.”

“Really now, that coming from the mare who had Pinkie Pie’s tongue up her―” Twilight loudly cleared her throat to interrupt the argument.

“I’ll answer if Rarity won’t,” Twilight said. The game of Truth or Dare had made her surprisingly comfortable when it came to opening up to her friends. “Actually, Rainbow Dash, I tried it myself at first and…it is really stimulating. I did some research on it and it turns out that unicorn horns have a lot of the same nerve endings as the penises of stallions, and similar sensations arise in the body when they’re touched.” Rarity could feel heat rising into her cheeks.

“Whoa,” Rainbow Dash said. “Do they ever…you know…cream?”

“For heaven’s sake,” Rarity said, turning away from the other ponies with a dramatic huff.

“Of course not, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight explained. “Even if a fluid like that existed, there’s no orifice in the horn from which it can be released. Sometimes though, if you aren’t careful, you could cause some unintended magical reactions that could be embarrassing to explain…” Twilight momentarily flashbacked to a particular incident where she had caused something to happen that was quite difficult to explain to Princess Celestia, but she quickly pushed that to the back of her mind.

“Huh, probably should have realized that,” Rainbow Dash said.

“So wait,” Pinkie Pie said, shooting out of her sleeping bag with excitement. “Applejack, you said you’ve kissed stallions before. Who, who, who?”

“Easy, Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said. “Let the mare answer.”

“Um…” Applejack muttered.

“You feeling okay there, AJ?” Rainbow Dash asked with a smirk.

“Shut yer trap, Dash. Ah’m thinkin’…”

“Suit yourself,” Rainbow Dash said. Then she dropped her voice to a barely audible whisper. “Bet you’ve never really kissed a stallion anyway…”

“Excuse me, Rainbow Dash, but ah reckon ah’ve kissed many a stallion, thank ya very much! Do ya take me fer a liar? Ah’m the goddamned Element of Honesty, fer Celestia’s sake!”

“Easy, Applejack,” Twilight said. “Rainbow Dash was just teasing you, weren’t you, Rainbow Dash?”

“Sort of…”

“Well, if you must know, I almost had a bit of a hook-up with Lucky once…”

“What?” Rarity blurted out, completely forgetting her discretion.

“When did that happen?” Twilight added.

“It was at some shindig in town. Ah have to admit we were both a little tipsy. He took me away from the party and decided to plant one on me, and ah just kind of rolled with it.”

“I didn’t know Lucky was such a player!” Rainbow Dash said.

“So what happened after that?” Pinkie Pie asked, practically bouncing on her bag. “Did you…do it?”

“What kind of mare do ya think ah am, Pinkie Pie? Ah’m still a virgin, and ah ain’t about to give it away anytime soon, unlike somepony over here.”

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash said. “That thing with Pinkie Pie didn’t count. And for your information, I did the deed back in flight school.”

“Well, there’s something I wouldn’t have minded not knowing,” Rarity huffed.

“Who’d you do it with?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Do I know him?”

“Nah, none of you guys know him. He moved to Fillydelphia,” Rainbow Dash explained. She dropped her voice to an inaudible whisper this time. “Bastard still hasn’t returned my letters…”

“What was that, Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked.

“Nothing important,” Rainbow Dash said quickly.

“So what was it like?” Pinkie Pie asked. “I’ve never done it before, and I’ve always been super curious about how stallions feel, and―”

“Really, Pinkie Pie,” Rarity interjected. “That’s hardly any of our business.”

“Thanks, Rarity,” Rainbow Dash said. Thinking about him was still painful.

Not nearly as painful as what happened with―

“What about you, Fluttershy?” Pinkie Pie asked. “Didn’t you mention something about Playmare?”

“Something about what?” Fluttershy asked meekly, pretending not to have heard.

“Silly, you asked Twilight if she used Playmare magazines to help her get off!” Pinkie Pie chirped. Rarity sighed, giving up any further attempt to voice her protests.

“I told you I’ve never used one before…” Fluttershy mumbled.

“Then how’d you hear of it?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Come on,” Rainbow Dash said, “it’s a famous magazine. Everypony in Equestria has probably heard of it. Even Applehick here knows what it is.”

“Come again?” Applejack asked. “Is that supposed to be implyin’ that ah’ve never seen a magazine because ah grew up on a farm?”

“Don’t explain the joke, Applejack,” Rainbow Dash said with a deadpan expression.

“Well,” Fluttershy said, “I have seen one before, and I did look through it when nopony was looking, just out of curiosity…” Everypony seemed stunned. Fluttershy’s sexuality became more surprising the more she revealed about it.

“When did ya git a chance to see a Playmare and look through it on yer own?” Applejack asked. “It couldn’t have been at any store.”

“Well, it wasn’t…”

“Then where?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Um, I’m not sure I should tell you…” Fluttershy mumbled. Rainbow Dash groaned.

“Why not?” she asked.

“It’s just that…”

“Just what, honey?” Twilight asked.

Fluttershy made a squealing noise.

“…I can’t say,” she said.

“Oh, come on!” Rainbow Dash spurted out. “You’re such a tease, Fluttershy.”

“I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash, it’s just…”

“Just what?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“…If I told you, it might be embarrassing.”

“Please, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash said. “You’re always embarrassed.”

“No, not for me,” Fluttershy said, “for one of you…”

That shut Rainbow Dash up quickly. The other ponies began looking at each other in the dim light, trying to discern what Fluttershy was getting at. One pony, however, thought she got the message, and she was beginning to feel nervous.

“Well,” Twilight said, resorting to her analytical nature. “What Fluttershy seems to be suggesting is that she saw a copy belonging to one of us. That’s the only reason it would be embarrassing.”

“Well then, that’s easy,” Applejack said. “Who here doesn’t own a copy of Playmare? Ah don’t.”

“Nope,” Twilight said.

“Nuh-uh,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Not me!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. There was a split second of hesitation.

“Well, don’t look at me,” Rarity said. “A lady with such social standing as moi wouldn’t be caught dead touting one of those besotted rags.”

“Well, what took you so long to say so?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Well, given the vulgarity of the conversation, I had simply tuned myself out for a moment,” Rarity said.

“A likely story…” Rainbow Dash said, grinning wickedly. “Fluttershy, did you see a Playmare owned by Rarity?”

“Well…” Fluttershy said, not sure how to answer.

“Don’t tell them, Fluttershy,” Rarity said in a panic, but it looked like the cat was out of the bag.

“Well, golly,” Applejack said, “ah guess Little Miss Hussy over here’s got a kinky side that needs attendin’ to…”

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash chided. “Who’d have thunk it?”

Rarity’s cheeks were bright red.

“It’s not what you think!” she protested. “I was reading it for the articles…”

“Sure you were,” Rainbow Dash said, nodding her head.

“Hold on, guys,” Twilight said. “Rarity, it’s really nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Oh, but what you must think of me now! Rarity, the finest fashion designer in Equestria, who carries herself with the utmost dignity and grace, caught with a magazine not fit for dogs to pee on! You must think I’m such a…such a…”

“Such a what?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Such a pervert!” Rarity said, and she threw the sleeping bag over her head, but muffled sobbing could still be heard from within the folds.

“Rarity…” Twilight said. “Of course we don’t think that.”

“Yeah, Rarity, don’t be so dramatic,” Rainbow Dash said. “Besides, you didn’t seem to have much of a problem smooching with Applejack.”

“That was different,” Rarity said, her voice muffled. “Applejack’s a good friend and we were doing it as part of a game. You know how I like to play by the rules.”

“Of course, Sugarcube,” Applejack said. “If we were ever gonna think ya were a pervert, it would’ve been then. So what if ya like to look at some stallions once in a while? Who wouldn’t want that?” Applejack suddenly felt a wave of sorrow hit her that was completely unrelated to the empathy she was feeling about Rarity’s embarrassment. She did her best to brush it off.

“Do you really mean that, Applejack?” Rarity asked.

“It’s the honest truth,” Applejack said. “And ya know that’s mah specialty.”

“All right,” Rarity said, revealing herself once again. “I’m sorry for making such a fuss.”

“It’s all right, Rarity,” Fluttershy said. “I’m sorry for saying anything. I didn’t want to embarrass you.”

“It’s okay, dear,” Rarity said.

“Bored!” Pinkie Pie interjected.

“Rude much?” Rarity asked.

“What? You guys were getting all mushy when I’m in the mood to talk dirty.”

“This coming from the queen of mush,” Rainbow Dash said. Pinkie Pie ignored this; she was instead considering what sultry topic the ponies had not yet discussed.

“So…of all of us, only Rainbow Dash has had sex?” she asked.

“Yep!” Rainbow Dash said with a smug look on her face.

“Well don’t start rubbing it in everypony’s faces…” Rarity mumbled.

“You jealous?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Hardly. As you know, I have yet to meet a stallion to satisfy my high standards.”

“Except for that Prince Blueblood guy who shot down your ass,” Rainbow Dash said. Rarity made a sound as if she were gagging.

“I beg your pardon, but one of the qualifications a stallion needs to court me is that he must actually treat me like a lady.”

“Really? What poor stallion would get himself stuck trying to fit that bill?” Rainbow Dash scoffed.

“Rainbow Dash, that’s enough,” Twilight scolded. “You don’t have to be so mean.”

“I’m just joshing. Geez, you really are a buzz kill, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Twilight’s right,” Applejack said. “Insultin’ yer friends isn’t…it just ain’t right.”

“Can’t you guys take a joke?” Rainbow Dash asked, now becoming quite miffed. “You ponies need to pull the sticks out of your asses…”

“Rainbow Dash, if I may interject,” Fluttershy said, “but I agree with the others. Your mean-spirited harassing reminds me too much of your friend Gilda.”

How dare she mention that―!

“Et tu, Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Well, Pinkie Pie knows how to take a good jab every once in a while, don’t you, Pinkie Pie?”

“Well…sure,” Pinkie Pie said, “but hitting Rarity with that line about Prince Blueblood was kind of a low blow.”

“Great, now you’ve all turned against me,” Rainbow Dash said. “Guess I’m not welcome here.” Rainbow Dash untangled herself from the sleeping bag and began to trot away.

“Rainbow Dash, wait!” Twilight Sparkle called, but her invocation landed on deaf ears. Rainbow Dash shut herself into the bathroom and locked it tight.

“Aw, hell,” Applejack said. “Ah didn’t want everypony to git so upset.”

“Well,” Rarity said haughtily, “if she wants to isolate herself, then I say let her. If she thinks I’m so difficult to put up with, then her attention is not worth it.”

“Yeah, but something tells me she’s put out about somethin’ else. Did ya see how riled up she got when Fluttershy here mentioned that griffon? Ah reckon that’s the reason she’s really upset.”

“If you think she’s so upset,” Rarity said, “why don’t you try to talk to her?”

“Rarity, are you all right?” Twilight asked.

“I’m fine, dear,” Rarity said.

“Why were you snippy with Applejack just now?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, well…I guess I’m not really concerned with Rainbow Dash’s feelings right now, given the way she just insulted me.” Twilight sighed.

“Rarity, forgive me for saying it, but that isn’t very generous of you…”

“I know, dear,” Rarity said, “but I do get offended rather easily. It’s a…weakness of mine, if anything resembling a weakness could even exist inside of me.” Applejack rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, drama queen,” she said. “Ah’ll talk to Rainbow Dash.” Applejack rose from the floor and trotted to the bathroom door. She raised a hoof and knocked gently.

“What do you want?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“RD, it’s yer pal, Applejack,” she said. “Can I come in?”

“Go away,” Rainbow Dash said. Applejack took mild offense to this, but shrugged it off.

“Ah ain’t mad at ya no more, Sugarcube. Ah just want to talk to ya fer a second.”

“Leave me alone,” came the voice from the bathroom.

Twilight, forgive me fer doing this. Applejack turned and bucked her hind legs against the door, knocking it clean from the foundation.

“What was that?” Twilight called from the bedroom.

“Nothin’ ya can’t fix with that magic horn o’ yers,” Applejack called before entering the bathroom.

“What the hell, Applejack?” Rainbow Dash said. She was slumped on the toilet seat, looking downright miserable. “What if I was doing my business?”

“Somethin’ told me ya weren’t,” Applejack said, “and besides, ah really wanted to try to help ya.”

“Help me with what?” Rainbow Dash asked sulkily.

“Well, ya turned all sour on us when Fluttershy mentioned Gilda,”―Rainbow Dash winced at the name―“and ah reckon there was somethin’ up with that. Why don’t ya tell yer ol’ pal Applejack what the ruckus is all about?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Is it because she called ya a flip-flop and ditched ya at Pinkie Pie’s party? It seemed pretty rude to me,” Applejack said.

“Believe me, that’s one of the nicer things Gilda’s called me.” Rainbow Dash covered her mouth with her hoof, revealing that she had said too much.

“Really? Ah thought ya two were good ol’ pals.”

“Well…it’s complicated, and I don’t really want to get into it.”

“Ah understand. Nopony’s forcin’ ya to. But ah reckon ya should apologize to Rarity now. She didn’t do nothin’ wrong.”

“I guess you’re right, AJ. I was kind of a prick to her.”

“Swell! Let’s go.” Applejack and Rainbow Dash returned to the bedroom.

“I’m sorry, Rarity,” Rainbow Dash said as soon as she resettled into her sleeping bag. “I don’t think you’re insufferable. You’re actually one of the kindest ponies I’ve ever met.”

“It’s quite all right, Rainbow Dash. I’m over it.”

“Yay!” Pinkie Pie said. “Everything’s back to normal! So who have you ponies all crushed on, huh? Anypony want to play Fuck, Buck, or Marry?” The other ponies groaned.

“I’d love to, Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said through a yawn, “really, but I’m quite tired.”

“Me too,” Fluttershy said. “Sorry…”

“You guys are party poopers!” Pinkie Pie snapped with a humph added for good measure. There was a long silence, and Pinkie Pie was just about to call it a night herself, but Twilight suddenly spoke out.

“Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy,” Twilight said.

“What?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“You can’t be serious,” Rarity said.

“Um…Twilight?” Fluttershy mumbled.

“Ooh, that’s a juicy one!” Pinkie Pie said. “I’ve never done one about ponies in the room! Let’s see…I might be a little biased, but I’d probably have to say I’d fuck Rainbow Dash.” Rainbow Dash sputtered.

“What? I’m just saying. I got a little taste of ya, and it’s enough to know I wouldn’t say no to a little more.”

“This is hypothetical, right?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Completely,” Twilight said, unable to stifle the huge grin on her face.

“And…I don’t know, I guess I’d have to marry Rarity. Sorry, Fluttershy.”

“Oh, really, I don’t mind,” Fluttershy said, relieved that she didn’t have to be a part of Twilight’s “hypothetical” scenario.

“Rarity!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Do Applejack, Twilight, and Spike!”

“Spike?” Rarity asked.

“Good one, Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow Dash said. “Come on, Rarity, are you gonna break the little guy’s heart? Are you gonna pop him out of pity?”

“Really, Rainbow Dash, how vulgar,” Rarity said. “But I suppose I must play along…let’s see…I suppose Applejack would be the ideal partner in marriage. She’s kind, honest, dependable, and a hard worker.”

“Aw, shucks, Rarity, you’re making me blush.”

“Don’t mention it,” Rarity said. “And I do pity the poor dragon, but not enough to let him…you know. So…I guess I’d have to mate with you, Twilight.”

“Really?” Twilight said, surprisingly hot under the bridle at hearing this.

“Hypothetically speaking of course, my dear.”

“Yeah, sure…” Twilight said, not sure how to take this surprising feeling that had burst inside of her.

“Okay, Rarity. Pick somepony else,” Pinkie Pie said.

“Well, all right…Twilight, my dear, I give you Celestia, Luna, and Discord.”

“Excuse me?” Twilight squeaked. Rainbow Dash started laughing.

“Go on, my dear,” Rarity said.

“Well, I’d obviously buck Discord.”

“Without question.”

“Agreed.”

“Of course.”

“And…” Twilight said, thinking. “Celestia’s my teacher, so I really couldn’t imagine sleeping with her. I guess I’d have to fuck Luna.”

“How saucy!” Rarity said. “To fornicate with a goddess, one can only imagine…if one were attracted to that sex, of course.”

“Okay…” Twilight said, thinking of who to target next. A wickedly lascivious grin formed on her face. “Applejack. Big Mac, Braeburn, and Granny Smith.”

“Pardon mah language,” Applejack said, “but that’s fucking disgusting.”

“Come on, Applejack,” Pinkie Pie said. “That’s part of the game! You gotta get into incest at some point, otherwise, it’s no fun!”

“That’s creepy as hell, but ah reckon ah’ll play along. This never leaves the bedroom, got it?”

“Yep,” the ponies all said.

“All right…well, ah love mah granny and all, but ah’d have to buck her. There’s no way I’d git intimate with her, and ah can’t imagine mahself marryin’ a mare…where was I? Oh, right. Well…marriage don’t imply fornicatin’, right? Let’s see…ah reckon ah’d fuck Braeburn then, granted that we ain’t as closely related, and ah’d settle down with my big brother. Ah reckon that’s as good as ah can git.”

“Good choice,” Rainbow Dash said. “Braeburn is pretty hot…”

“Fer Celestia’s sake, RD, that’s mah cousin…”

“So? It’s a compliment!”

“Go ahead then, Rainbow Dash. Do Fluttershy, me, and uh…” Maybe it was because Rainbow Dash had riled her up, but Applejack reacted at an idea that would have a lot of bite to it. “Gilda.”

Rainbow Dash had to keep from flaring up in anger at that last one. She took a deep breath and forced herself to think more rationally. It was only a game, after all.

“Well, buck Gilda,” Rainbow Dash said. “I mean, the way she treated you, Fluttershy? Forget her. And I would definitely, definitely fuck you, Applejack.”

“‘Definitely,’ ya say?” Applejack asked.

“Hell yeah. You’re pretty cute for a mare, you know.”

“Thanks, Rainbow Dash, but ya don’t have to say that.”

“Why not? It’s true. You’ve got that whole sexy farmer thing going for you.”

“That ‘sexy farmer thing’? What in heaven’s name are ya talkin’ about, Rainbow Dash?”

“Come on, do I have to spell it out for you?”

“Ah reckon ya do.”

“Okay, then. Just imagine that you’ve woken up at the crack of dawn, and you go out and tend to the chickens and milk the cows and plow the fields, and all that work has put you in a really hot sweat, so that your whole body’s glazed over, and you’ve got that healthy coat from being out in the sun, and at the end of the day you pull that ponytail of yours out and let that mane just fall upon your face…” Rainbow Dash suddenly stopped, realizing how into the metaphor she had become.

“Really? Ah had no idea ya thought ah was so sexy, Rainbow Dash. Really, ah’m flattered.”

“I mean, this is all hypothetical, of course!” Rainbow Dash said, desperately trying to backtrack.

“Sounds like ya put a lot of thought into that detail…” Applejack said.

“Well…come on! I’ve seen your stallion family members working, so I just transferred that onto you!”

“Sure ya did, sure ya did…”

“I like stallions! Come on! You heard what I said about Braeburn.”

“Relax, RD,” Applejack said. “I’m just yankin’ yer chain.”

“Oh, okay…” Rainbow Dash said rather lamely.

“Thank you, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said.

“For what?”

“For saying you would marry me.”

“Oh, right,” Rainbow Dash said, suddenly remembering how her turn was supposed to end. “Well, you’d make a great wife, Fluttershy. You’re caring and kind and really gentle.”

“Would that make ya the stallion then, Rainbow Dash?” Applejack asked.

“What? Not necessarily! Just because it’s a marriage doesn’t mean there has to be a stallion and a mare.”

“Please, ponies, let’s not get political about this,” Twilight said.

“Yes, you know how foul those discussions can get,” Rarity said.

“Fine,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’m about to pass out, so good night everypony.”

“Good night, Sugarcube,” Applejack said. “Night, y’all.”

“Good night.” The ponies all closed their eyes, and most of them fell straight to sleep. Rainbow Dash, however, found it difficult to relax. She wasn’t sure if it was her encounter with Pinkie Pie, the revelation of how sexy she considered Applejack to be, or the reminder of her past with Gilda, but something about tonight had uncoiled something inside her she thought she had repressed long ago. It was begging to come out into the light, to be known by her dear friends, so that they might be able to help her with her ailment. Maybe Twilight had some kind of magic spell to fix…whatever this feeling was inside of her.

Don’t be stupid, Rainbow Dash, she thought to herself. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. But she felt ashamed all the same. Rainbow Dash turned over, trying to get comfortable.

“Hey,” a small whisper murmured, too soft to wake the other ponies. “RD, ya still awake?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said. “You too, AJ?”

“Yep, guess ah’m having a hard time relaxin’.”

“Me, too. Bathroom?”

“Bathroom.” For the second time that night, Rainbow Dash and Applejack shut themselves into the bathroom for some private words.

“What’s got ya all hot under the collar?” Applejack asked.

“Like I said, I don’t really want to talk about it…” Rainbow Dash said. “What’s up with you?”

“Ah…well, ah reckon ah don’t know fer sure. But there’s somethin’ inside me that seems to be beggin’ to come out, only ah can’t put mah hoof on what it could be.”

“I feel the same way! Although I think I know what I’m feeling…”

“And yer sure ya don’t want to share?”

“Positive. It’s really embarrassing.”

“Suit yerself,” Applejack said, patting Rainbow Dash on the back. Suddenly curious, she moved her hoof up Rainbow Dash’s neck.

“Golly, no wonder yer havin’ a hard time fallin’ asleep.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why, yer tighter than mah big ol’ brother after plowing the fields all day. You carry all that tension in yer neck?”

“I guess…I never really noticed it before.”

“Lay down, RD.”

“What?”

“On yer stomach. Come on, now. Ah do this fer Big Mac all the time, and he says ah’m darned good at it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Ah’m gonna give ya a massage, silly.”

“A what?” That strange feeling started creeping up Rainbow Dash’s chest, but she managed to quell it. “I guess I could use it.” Rainbow Dash laid herself down on the tile of the bathroom. She shivered at the coldness, but felt Applejack’s warm body as she positioned herself on top of her.

“Just close yer eyes,” Applejack said, “and try to relax…” Rainbow Dash obliged, but her eyes shot open as Applejack pressed down on her neck.

“Ow! What are you trying to do, crack my vertebrae in half?”

“It’s supposed to hurt a bit while ah’m doin’ it, but it’ll feel good once ah stop.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing…”

“Ya sound fussier than Rarity, and that’s sayin’ somethin’.”

“Fine. The Dash can take a little pain. Dish it out.”

“Oh, ah intend to…” Applejack dug into Rainbow Dash’s neck, rubbing it up and down. Rainbow Dash started hearing the joints in her neck crack and pop into position, and pleasant waves of comfort coursed through her as they did so.

“Oh wow…” she said.

“What’d ah tell ya?”

“I take back everything I said. This feels so good…”

“Glad to hear it. Brace yerself…” This time Applejack leaned her body weight into her hooves as she pressed against Rainbow Dash’s neck. A sharp pain coursed through her every time Applejack pressed down, but in between each effort the relief seemed starker. Applejack started rotating her hooves in circles, and that really caused some joints to start cracking.

“Yer one tough pony, RD. Mah hooves are starting to git tired.”

“Well, I think you can stop now.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, just give it a minute.” Applejack stopped, and the tension that had been built up in Rainbow Dash’s neck had all but vanished. Rainbow Dash sighed, and Applejack rubbed her neck more softly. Rainbow Dash shut her eyes, and as Applejack rubbed her down she could feel her wings beginning to quiver. Uh-oh…

Rainbow Dash yawned loudly.

“I think I can go to bed now, Applejack. Thanks a lot.”

“Oh, um…all right,” Applejack said, not sure why she felt like she had been snapped out of a trance. Applejack stood up, and Rainbow Dash followed her back into the bedroom. They got settled into their sleeping bags, and both of them fell asleep soundly.