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The Conversion Bureau: Reality Restoration

by Fullmetal Pony

Chapter 1: Creator and Created

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Did I make it? Did they make it? Was I just a puppet for their wills this whole time? The blankets ruffled as the night continued on. It’s out there now, isn’t it? That land, it’s so close, but... The black night began to turn into a grey sky. All the news, that kid, had he even seen the show? Was he even a kid? A sliver of light entered the room. That speech... the Princess right next to the President. I don’t even know anymore. Anyone is free to go now and it’s got federal backing. The stars began to disappear out of the sky. What if I screwed up somewhere? What if I make a mistake? Said something wrong? I... An annoying beeping filled the air. “I didn’t sleep at all.” The woman slammed on her alarm clock to shut it up.

The woman got out of her bed and looked around. “I get off of work and I’m even more sleep deprived than usual.” The woman wandered aimlessly around the bedroom, trying to figure out what to do next. “I suppose a shower is the best substitution for sleep.”

A half an hour later, she emerged from her shower with a towel draped around her head and another one around her body. Well it helped a little. But a shower won’t change things. She sighed. Might as well see what the news is saying and have some breakfast. She pulled on the first things she found in her dresser, slumped into her kitchen, and pulled out a bowl and a random box of cereal. It could have been anything, just something to get her started.

“Crud!” She looked through her fridge, but couldn’t find the vital item she needed. “Out of milk. Ugh, screw it.” She flung open a drawer that held her silverware and grabbed a spoon. Breakfast in tow, she tramped over to her couch and plopped down in it. She grabbed the remote and clicked the TV on. She ate as she watched the screen.

“... it is still not clear if this religious activity is a unified effort,” a news anchor droned. A corner graphic to his left showed the digits for twenty-four with the silhouette of a pony behind them.

Isn’t that Dash’s shadow?

“In continuing our coverage of the Pony emergence, we now go live to the closest landpoint to the ‘Equestrian bubble’, Tom?”

The screen shifted to a beach on a clear day. The top of something shimmered off in the distance. “Thanks, Mike,” the reporter said as he looked back and forth between the camera and whatever it was that was off in the distance. “I’m at what could be considered the edge of the world. This is as close as news crews could get to the singularity which leads to the parallel dimension called Equestria.

“If you look off in the distance,” the camera zoomed in to show more of the bubble and the ships that lined it, “you’ll see the top of the bubble. Since its emergence, it has been growing at a constant rate. While scientists are still scrambling to grasp the situation the Earth faces, they have managed to produce an estimate on landfall. San Diego is predicted to be enveloped by the bubble in about six months.”

“Can you tell us more about the ships out there?” The anchor in the news studio asked.

“Yes, well, for the past two weeks, they have been acting as a barrier for any curious humans. As Equestria’s monarch discussed in her co-op speech with the president, the magical nature of her realm can have negative effects on humans. She’s forbade any humans from entering her land. However, there is one exception.”

The news reporter stopped speaking for a second and listened to his earpiece. “What? Really? Right now? Bob! Zoom in on it! Now!” The camera tilted up and zoomed in on a small brownish and blue object. As the camera refocused, the object sharpened to reveal wings, a grey-blue tail and mane, and a russet-colored horse-like body. “I’m not sure how well viewers at home can see this, but that is most likely a converted human entering the realm.”

“If you’ll look closely, you’ll see the ‘newfoal,’ a slang that has popped up to describe converted humans, about to enter the barrier and... yes!” The pony disappeared into the edge of the shimmering bubble. “The ‘newfoal has entered Equestria. In only our short time here, we’ve seen at least a dozen other converts like that cross into the barrier. But so far, only converts with wings, called pegasi, have been able to fly into the barrier. As we’ve covered before, in order to enter Equestria, a human must undergo a life-altering transformation so that they may resemble the natives of Equestria, small equine creatures we have simply dubbed ‘ponies.’

Oh god, here it comes.

“The name is inspired by the fact that Equestria’s monarch, Princess Celestia, has been trying for eons to communicate with humanity. The main way humanity has come to recognize her land has been through the popular children’s show My Little Pony. Detailed interviews with Celestia have revealed that the show’s latest iteration, Friendship is Magic, coincided with the return of her sister and co-ruler Princess Luna. How far this metaphysical connection Celestia went with our world is still a mystery.”

You said it. The woman shoveled one final bite of cereal into her mouth. I’ll probably never know how much I was used.

“Oh! Mike! I have shocking news!” The camera panned to show the reporter kneeling by a red stallion with a black mane. His wings were twitching a little. “A newly converted human has agreed to let us speak with him. Can you tell us your name?”

“Sorry,” the pony replied as he rubbed his neck with a hoof. “I don’t really have a name right now. My human name didn’t really fit a pony and it’s a little hard to come up with a new name.”

“So are you about to make the jump to Equestria?” The reporter signaled for the emergency mike to be brought over to the stallion.

The stallion looked off in the distance for a second. “If it was just a jump, this whole beach would be packed. But yes, I am on the way to go over there. I mean, free housing as long as you help settle the new lands? I’m honestly amazed the entire homeless population hasn’t converted already.”

“Can you tell us more about what it’s like to be an entirely different species?”

“Honestly, after the first few days, it’s not too bad. You’re different, but you’re still you. Think of it like trading in an old car for new one... that flies.” The stallion flapped his wings for show. “It’s kinda funny, I was a man who watched this show and I loved it. But to have it just be over the horizon... it’s pretty unreal.”

“Yes, we’ve heard that the show was quite popular with an unintended demographic. Do you think Princess Celestia intended that?”

The stallion paused and tapped a hoof to his muzzle. Then he spoke up again. “Look, I don’t know what the Princess did, but I’ll tell you and the viewers this. When you go pony, you get to see her and Princess Luna. Don’t be scared, they’re not the insanely powerful figures you’ve seen on TV. They are warm and caring and willing to do anything to save everypony... um, everyone. You get my point. Well, it’s been nice talking with you and I hope your broadcast goes well.” The pony took to the skies. “I’m off to Equestria!”

The reporter stood up, looked at the camera, and blinked a few times to regain his composure. “There you have it folks. An interview with a newfoal before he disappeared into Equestria. I’ll be honest here and say the experience, like much of the past few weeks, has been out of this world. Mike, back to you.”

“Thank you Tom.” The anchor wiped off some sweat from his brow. “Another amazing moment in our twenty-four-seven coverage of the Pony emergence. We now go to our panel of analysts to discuss Celestia’s move in destroying all of Earth’s major we–” The TV clicked off.

“It’s too crazy!” The woman yelled as she craned her back back. “Ugh, maybe talking with Craig will help.”

“Hmm,” Celestia mused as she sat next to the woman on the couch. “It seems my actions have caused you discomfort. That was the last thing I wanted. I’m sorry.”

The woman jumped off the couch, banged her elbow on her coffee table and scrambled back against a wall. “C-c-celestia! Y-you can’t really be here!” The woman jabbed a finger at the white alicorn in the room.

“Darn!” Celestia frowned. “I’ve gotten too used to doing regal entrances. I’m really very sorry.” Celestia glowed for a second and then her form shrunk, her mane and tail turned pink and stopped waving, and her wings faded into her coat. “Perhaps it would be better if I looked like a regular pony?”

“No!” The woman screamed. “You... you... oh, I don’t know anymore!” The woman’s hand and her body slumped.

“What is bothering you? You’ve done an amazing thing. You helped all this become possible.” Celestia trotted over to the shivering woman. “You have my deepest thanks.” Celestia bowed her head.

“W-what? But weren’t you just using me to get your message out? It could have been anyone, what makes me so special?”

Celestia placed a hoof on the woman’s shoulder “It couldn’t have been just anypony. I needed somepony who had a spark of magic and friendship in them. Somepony who wanted to entertain and delight other, but most of all, somepony who could instill hope for others.”

“R-really?” she asked. “But wasn’t I still just transmitting your stories, acting as a vessel for your world?”

Celestia sighed. “I suppose you could put it that way. But is it so wrong when you hear a good story to tell it to others? Try to understand, I’ve been trying to have others tell my story for so long. I grew more and more worried as the years passed on. I knew a doomsday clock hung over everything. Then, in the final hour, you emerged and became the most important seed of all. Again, I can’t thank you enough.”

She slowly got up. “So what do you want now?”

“To repay you. For one, it seems you were distressed over what I’ve done recently, I hope I’ve resolved some of that turmoil. Also, you seem to be lacking in milk for your cereal. I’ve remedied that with another drink.”

“What do you mean?”

“Go check your fridge.” Celestia waved a hoof at the kitchen.

“O... okay.” She slowly inched her way over to the fridge. She opened it, but at first, she didn’t see anything different. Then she saw the glow from an unfamiliar glass. It was just a simple drinking glass, but its contents were a mix of white and grey. The drink was shimmering and swirling by itself. “What... what is that?”

“My repayment to you. A potion I’ve reserved only for those of true worth. I would have given it to the other seeds, but it can’t be teleported long distance, especially when magic here is so low.”

“Why is it so special?”

“That is an answer I’ll leave for you to find out. The choice is yours, but just know that if you decide to drink, you are always welcome in Canterlot. A hero to ponies everywhere. But I’d like you to make your choice before I fully honor you. It has been a pleasure talking with you.” Celestia’s form reverted to its true alicorn self as her horn began to glow.

“Thank you, Celestia. I think this really helped.”

“You are most welcome. I look forward to seeing you on the other side Lauren.” In a flash, Celestia was gone, leaving a former animation creator alone in her kitchen.

She stared at the glass and swirled it around a little. “Only enough for me probably.” A man then walked into the kitchen.

“Morning honey, geez, you looked frazzled.” The man walked over and bent down. “What’s that?”

“Our plane ticket.”

“To where?”

“Craig, could you still love me with hooves?” She looked up at Craig with pleading eyes, not really sure what she should do.

“What? I...” He looked back and forth between her and the hooves. “Oh, it’s that stuff. I thought it was purple though.”

“It normally is, but well... I guess it’s the royal batch.”

“You don’t mean that she was...” Craig’s eyes went wide.

“Yeah, in our room and on our couch.”

“Christ!” Craig facepalmed. “I need to start sleeping lighter! What was she like?”

“Motherly almost. I think I seriously missed something on her in the show... oh, I hope the new episodes don’t mess anything up, I mean, with that Royal Wedding stuff and all the othe–” Craig brought a finger to Lauren’s lips.

“It’ll be okay, and to answer your last question, you know I’ll love you no matter what. There’s just one problem.” Craig glanced at the glass. “I think I’ll need to run out and get some for myself.” His eyes then spotted something on the counter. “Or maybe not.”

“What do you...” Lauren turned around and saw a glass of purple glowing liquid on the counter. “Clever girl.”

Craig walked over and grabbed the glass. He looked out the window and breathed deeply. “It’s a nice day out, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” The glass felt both warm and cool in Lauren’s hands.

“Well then,” Craig closed the door to the fridge, “I think we should enjoy it.” He sat down next to Lauren and downed his glass. He was out instantly.

“Oh Craig.” A tear fell down her eye onto his now white form. “I’ll see you on the other side.” The potion didn’t really taste like anything specific. It just tasted good. The last thing Lauren saw was her husband’s face slowly turning into a muzzle.

~~~

“...en! …auren! Lauren!” Something was pushing at her side. She slowly opened her eyes and was met with an ash grey unicorn. “Oh thank god, I was getting worried.”

“Craig?” She asked weakly.

“Yeah.” He stepped back and nearly crashed into the fridge. “Heh, still getting used to the hooves. I’ve had a bit of time to practice.”

“You have?” Lauren’s legs felt shaky and there was an annoying buzzing filling the room. “I thought conversion only lasted a half an hour and we both took it around the same time.”

“I think you might be a special case.”

“What do you mean?” Lauren tried to move her right foreleg, but instead flexed her right wing. “Oh wow! I got to be a pegasus! That is pretty nice of the Princess!” Lauren smiled. The buzzing was now accompanied by the knowledge that the sun would be setting in ten hours, forty-eight minutes, and eighteen point three seconds. “Whoa!” Lauren brought a wing to her head. “Guess what they said about pegasi was true. Everything about the weather is bombarding my mind. How’s the electricity stuff treating you, Craig?”

“You tell me, Lauren.”

What do you...”

“Maybe we should just go to the bathroom.” Craig slowly stumbled back through the bedroom and into the bathroom; Lauren followed, with a few slips of her own.

“This is pretty tough at first. Oh well, Luna said it might be in the dream. Can you believe how good her mane actually lo– is that horn?!” Lauren’s mouth dropped as she stared in awe at her reflection. She had a lightly tanned coat and a maroon mane and tail. A quill and an inkwell already adorned her flank. But most importantly was the fact that she had wings and a horn. “Oh lord! Craig, we need to get to Equestria now! What if I blow something up or turn the streets into jello or something?!

“Honey, it’ll be fi–”

“It won’t be fine! We need to go right now!” The world went white for a second and then Lauren and Craig were in a decadently furnished hall.

“That certainly was fast,” Luna mused as she sat on a throne.

“L-luna!” Craig exclaimed as he tried to back away but fell on his own legs.

“Luna!” Lauren yelled. “Please, you have to know a way to fix this! I don’t want to be like you! What if I cause the planet to crash or something!? Arg!” She brought a hoof to her head. “It... it’s too much to bear.”

Luna’s horn glowed and the information storm stopped. “I should have known sister would be a little too distant about this. Do not worry, other than the information you receive, you’ll be perfectly fine.”

“But the horn! The wings!”

“The wings can be used for normal flight and, aside from a few extra skills, your horn is just like any other unicorn’s.”

“What sort of skills?” Lauren looked up as Luna’s horn glowed again and her body glowed.

“For one, alicorns have always possessed a unique skill in shapeshifting.” Luna’s body began to glow as she walked closer. “It’s a skill that likely comes from the days when alicorns were seen as monsters.” He legs started to turn a tan color and her coat expanded and started to become long and flowing. “I suppose it helped when we initially went to your world.” Luna stopped as the last part of the change occurred. The she stood up... on two legs. “Back then it was easier to be seen as a goddess rather than a divine animal.”

Lauren brought a hoof to her mouth and Craig’s jaw dropped. “Y-you’re...” Lauren stuttered.

“Human?” Luna asked as she bent down and petted Lauren with a hand. “When you live as long as I do, what shape you take has little meaning.”

“Oh no!” Lauren’s eyes shrunk back in horror. “How long am I going to live?! Without Craig by my side, I’ll...” Tears started to fall down her cheeks.

Luna continued to pet her. “Do not worry. My longevity, as well as my sister’s, is only due to the combined use of the Elements and our alicorn status. I highly doubt such a thing will happen to you.” Luna backed away. She snapped her hands and instantly reverted to her pony form. She looked down at her hoof. “Hmm, it has definitely been a while since I’ve had hands.” She turned her attention back to Lauren and Craig. “Do you feel better now?”

“I guess, but...” Lauren looked over her body. “Is there anyway you could hide the horn, at least until I’m more used to things?”

“Certainly,” Luna replied. There was a flash and then the horn on Lauren’s head was gone. “Don’t try any magic above simple levitation though, otherwise my spell will be undone.”

“I don’t plan to.”

“There’s just one more thing,” Craig spoke up. “Can you send us home, we kinda have some stuff to move before we come here.”

“Of course.” Luna’s horn glowed again and a blue bubble started to encase Lauren and Craig. “Once more, thank you for everything. I look forward to the day when I see you in Equestria proper. May your journey be a safe one.” Lauren blinked and then she was back in her kitchen.

“Woah,” Craig stumbled into a cabinet. “Teleportation is quite a doozy.” He fell to his haunches to steady himself. “You okay, Lauren?”

“I think so.” Lauren slowly trotted around the room. “I can’t believe this place feels so different now and we’ve only left if for a few minutes.”

“Hmm,” Craig’s eyes scanned the room, “you’re right. It does feel a little lacking. Then again, we were just in a castle.”

“Oh, maybe we should have looked around a little. I mean, how often do you get to look around a castle? I could have seen how off I was designing it.”

“Honey, I’m sure there’ll be time in the future to look at it. But you know what we should do now?”

“What?” Lauren stopped trotting and looked out the window. Craig walked over to stand by her.

“Get some proper breakfast. Couldn’t help but notice the fridge looks rather sparse. Plus, might take a while till we can properly cook with these.” Craig lifted up a hoof. “Maybe we’ll find a place that’s serving hay,” Craig smiled.

“You’re really jumping on the pony bus fast, aren’t you?” Lauren giggled a little, Craig chuckled, and they both ended up laughing.

“Good to see you able to handle jokes again.” Craig trotted over to the doorway. “Now let’s get the princess some good food.”

“Come on Craig, don’t start with that,” Lauren said as Craig was forced to use his mouth to open the door.

“Well, no matter what anypony says, you’ll always be mine.” Craig held the door open with his body.

Lauren trotted over, but gave Craig a quick kiss. “Heh, nothing like metal breath. Let’s get a meal to resolve that.” She smiled and walked out into the new world.

Next Chapter: Thaumaphobia Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 32 Minutes
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