Well, having finally read all the entries, I thought I'd stop by and leave a few comments about each one. But before I begin, I would like to say that I had a workable concept for this prompt, but ultimately decided not to participate because it called for a self insert and I just don't like talking about myself. I'm fairly happy with the story I wrote instead, so I guess you could say that I took the whole F*** THIS PROMPT thing a little too seriously, because I basically said, "Fuck this prompt, I'm doing something else."

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/258782/the-rise-of-insanity

This story is really random and honestly doesn't make any sense. I still have no idea what the main character is. I don't know if his version of Equestria is supposed to be real or not, or how powerful he really is in relation to it. For all I know, the ending could be a dud where nothing happens.

Plus, this story takes the concept of a self-insert way too literally, as the vast majority of it takes place within his own gastrointestinal tract. Um, eww? That concept could have worked if he'd explored the dark corners of his mind instead, but this is just gross. The story tries to be deep, but you know what? Deep shit is still shit.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/259189/the-terrible-tiny-terrorist

This is quite an amusing little story. The concept works well for a comedy, and the execution is great. The only minor technical annoyance is that the narration is generally told from a detached third person perspective, yet it occasionally switches to Fliessnert's perspective for a sentence or two. The ending subverts our expectation of what it means to 'take over Equestria' and provides the best possible solution for everyone involved. Well, at least until the breezie council's brass-knuckled, chain-smoking elephant biker gang allies show up with a trunk-cranked port-a-potty and a grudge. Tsk tsk. Celestia really should have done her research.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/258967/how-i-took-over-equestria-in-7-steps

I'll say it right now. This story isn't anything special. The characters are somewhat flat, and the description is generally poor. It feels a bit rushed, but the biggest problem is its lack of originality. There are a lot of HiE cliches in here, and even the ending is cliche. It still works as a comedy, though. If you want a few chuckles and don't have high expectations, this story can deliver.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/258039/the-rise-of-a-new-queen

This story gets off to a slow start. For the entire first section up to the hotel room, it might as well be an extended weather report because nothing happens. The character is present, but only as part of the scenery. The prose is dry.

Thankfully, it picks up after that, but that's more due to our pre-investment in the show's established characters than anything the author wrote. Had these all been OCs, it would have been a very boring story. I think the biggest problem is our complete detachment from the protagonist. We can see her emotions, yes, but there are no motives behind them. Perhaps it was intentional, as this story makes you ask 'why?' quite a bit, but I think it would be more impactful if there was a glimmer of a reason to connect to.

The ending, unfortunately, feels rushed. A lot of time was spent establishing how to deal with Celestia and Luna, but Twilight's appearance felt like a curveball. I'm not saying the scene should have played out differently, but what if she'd walked over and broken the magic-draining rings? Perhaps mentioning that killing two of Twilight's friends would render Twilight too distraught for logical thought, and generic magic blasts are easier to deal with than a calculated response, could fix that.

Even so, this story is quite chilling, and the well-calculated execution of Black Skull's evil plan made me wish for her to fail at every step, yet she never trips up. Well done.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/259295/beyond-the-cold-shoulder

This story tries to do a lot, but it doesn't pull it off that well. Its biggest problem is that it tries to jump straight to the emotional payoffs with little to no buildup. Frigid Chill and Princess Absolute are depicted as being close, but I didn't get the feeling that they were so close that she'd abandon her misgivings to partake in his obviously flawed plan and later kill herself over him. As such, he comes off as a bit of a Gary Stu.

Thankfully, there's an easy fix for much of this. Had Celestia's response to his letter been something along the lines of 'We know of the danger, but reject your proposal to confront it,' instead of simply 'We reject the message,' Absolute would have had a reason to believe in Frigid's nightmares and aid him aside just from poorly-established love. Speaking of which, presenting them as mates instead of possible lovers and showing a poem of his dedicated to her would help quite a bit.

As it is now, though, it didn't work for me. Sorry.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/259429/a-king-for-a-day

Well, this story is certainly something. It's silly and has some decent jokes, but it's just too random and contrived to take seriously. Why would the princesses allow an obvious foreigner to rule for a day? Why did they leave him alone? Why would anyone follow orders that the princesses would obviously undo?

This story did get dinged for grammar, but it's not that bad, really. For the love of tail extensions, though, please don't sever dialogue from its said tag with a full stop and capital letter. It's all one sentence! Treat it that way.

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/259366/friendship-is-exponential

I will confess; I have a bit of a soft spot for stories with a sci-fi feel to them. With the whole 'clone army' and 'hive mind,' it could fit quite well in that genre. Given that most stories dealing with clones paint them in the wrong, this story could easily have been very dark, yet it didn't go there. It's refreshing to see this concept actually work for a change. In the end, we have a symbiotic life form that functions on the cultural level.

As for how to improve it, I'm not sure what to say. It's mostly just a wall of exposition with a bit of dialogue at the end. We're told that the narrator (did we ever get a name?) is friends with everypony, but we never see that play out. With all this 'clone clone clone' going on, a few scenes from an individual level could help us understand his character better. He's friends with every pony in Equestria, but not friends with the reader. See the problem? Even so, it's a fresh concept, and it plays out well. Good job.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/258832/sovereign

This story decent, but it does get off to a slow start. The best fix for that would be to add more description at the start. To understand what's going on, we need to know that he's elderly and fears death is near, but that doesn't become clear until the first chapter's nearly over.

The magicless alternate universe is interesting, and there is a lot that could be can be expanded on, but we hardly see any of that. There is a huge focus on the army, but almost none on what the army is actually for. Bandits? Conquering one city? That's it? What about those devoted to the old ways of magic and harmony? Did they ever cause any real trouble? Nothing is mentioned about them aside from the fact that they exist. There's a lot left unexplored, and this story's mostly just a tease. Plus, starting at the finish line kills some of the conflict. 'How did he do this?' is ultimately less intriguing than 'Can he do this?' because the conclusion is already foregone.

I'm not sure what the ending scene was supposed to accomplish. I was expecting to see the 'dream,' but what we got instead was somewhat confusing and violated the magic-free setting.