Jeez, what is with it with nobles and their ability to make things take hours to explain? I thought, turning another attempt to close my eyes into a blink. I was listening to.... I think his name was Money Bags as he tried to explain something about banking and why he needed more bits to spend on making the building better and shinier. Or maybe it was for funding for a super soldier project. I can’t really remember, but I do know that I was against it as soon as I found out what he was trying to get past me.

“... -This project is to help protect Equestria and help the guards keep the peace-....” I caught him saying “So it would be in the best interests of the crown to give funding to it.”

Oh, that’s what he was talking for so long about, I thought before saying, “While it would help, I have no intention of giving something as monumental as this to a weapons manufacturing company, a boat builder, and a banker. If the crown is to give funding to this it will be under my direct control and be monitored by Luna’s School for Extraordinary Unicorns.”

He gave me a sickly grin that was supposed to be that of a salespony. “But you're highness, you have plenty to do without worrying about something like this.”

“The safety of Equestriais something for me to worry about-”

I was interrupted by someone saying, “Yes, Yes, Hello? This is uh… Chibiterasu? Is this thing magic or something?!”

Chibi-.... Someone got Displaced as Chibiterasu, the son of Amaterasu. Must see this for myself!

“Ah great.. Figured this thing out! Come on across this void!”

I felt a pulling sensation this time and thought, Oh no you don’t! I’m right in the middle of court, I’m not going to go missing for who knows how long! I started pulling back.

“GYA! THE HELL?! LANDON WHAT DID YOU DO?!” A new voice shouts right before a portal opens up above Money Bags and dumps two white and red beings on him.

I try to contain my laughter as I wave the guards back to their posts. Well, that makes it final. I’m not giving his proposal any more thought.

“My stomach feels like it just went through a blender..” The smaller one groans.

“Suck it up.”

“I think it would be wise to move before Money Bags awakens,” I said, amusement dripping from my voice.

“And who are you?”

“I’ve been called many things: friend, commander, prophet... lover.”

“Right…” The bigger wolf says, standing up.

“Lately I’ve been called ‘the Grandmother of Equestria’.”

“So I’m guessin’ we’re still in Equestria…”

“Yes, just one that isn’t your own,” I said as Money Bags stirred. “You might want to get off that pony. I’d rather not deal with a noble that hates me more than they already do.”

The two wolves nodded and stepped off of Money Bags.

“Thank you. I’m guessing neither of you have been in the castle before?”

“Well, Actually Yeah.” The smaller wolf peeped up.

“We’re kinda best friends with Celestia.” the bigger one said.

I gave them a sad, reminiscent smile as I said, “I’m guessing that’s not code for something else, Amaterasu.”

“I wouldn’t say, Best friends.. But yeah. I do get on her nerves sometimes.” She jokes.

“So, is Chibi actually your-”

“HELL NO!” They both shout.

“Okay, okay,” I say through a fit of giggles. “Anyways, it’s getting close to midnight. You two want some lunch?”

The two looked at each other. “Sure. Why not. We can introduce each other that way too.” Amaterasu agrees.

I turned to the pony standing next to the throne. She was a rust red earth pony with red Thestral eyes and a book and quill for her cutiemark. “Quill Weave? Tell the next two petitioners that I’m having lunch and to come back in an hour.”

“Yes, Grandmother Maxine,” Quill said.

Standing up, I turned back to Amaterasu and Chibi and said, “Unlike the Equestria you come from you can actually order meat at any restaurant. The castle is no exception.” I began walking to the doors.

“What about my proposal?” Money Bags asked.

“The universe decided for me. You’ll receive no funding whatsoever from the crown,” I said as I passed him.

“Cold.” Chibi commented.

“You don’t know the half of it,” I muttered once we were out of the throne room.

“Nice place ya got.” Amaterasu says, looking around.

“Shame if something were to happen to it.” Chibi adds in a creepy voice.

“No piddling on the carpets. I’ll have Sol put you in diapers if you do,” I warned.

“The fuck? No! I was talking about Cherry bombing the place!”

I shuddered as I thought of what Sol and Mun would do if they felt or heard explosions in the castle. “That would be the worst idea ever thought of.”

Somehow we passed right by my rooms as Light Sweet and Rainbow Dash were flying out the door followed by Golden who was trying to get away from Mun. As soon as the three fillies saw Chibi they pounced, burying the wolf in a pile of pony.

“HELP ME! I’M NOT THAT FLUFFY!”

“Man up. Or… Wolf up… I hate the universe..” Ammy said.

Giggling, I pulled Light and Golden off, saying, “I know Chibi is cute and cuddly, but that’s-.... Actually yeah, that is how you glomp something.”

“I’m sorry Max, they just won’t lie down for their nap,” Mun said as he pulled Rainbow off the wolf pup.

“AIR! SWEET SWEET AIR!” He shouts.

“It’s okay, they probably wanted to see their mommy before their nap,” I said, kissing each of their foreheads. “Now you be good for Uncle Mun, okay? Mommy will be here when you wake up.”

Rainbow, being the oldest, nodded.

Placing each of them on Mun’s back I looked at the two wolves, noticing their blank expressions.

“Uh.. Yeah, Ok.” Chibi mutters.

Amaterasu swats him with a paw.

“Ow!”

I gave them a smile and said, “You aren’t the only one who got on Celestia’s good side.” I turned and walked down the hall, wandering because I didn’t know the way.

“Juust a random question.. Are we lost?” Ammy asks.

“I was wondering when you would notice,” I sighed. “I’ve lived here for more than half of a year and still don’t know my way around.”

There’s a groan and a thump on the ground.

I opened a random door, noticing that it was the one I had been looking for. “Oh hey, found the dining room!” I gave Ammy a trollish smile.

“If I had fingers right now.. I’d so flip you the bird right now.” She grumbles.

“I’d love to have a roll in the hay as well, but we have only fourty-five minutes until I have to be back in court,” I said with a knowing grin.

“Ugh.. What day is it? Please don’t tell me it’s monday!” She shouts.

“I won’t then.” Chibi says.

“Today’s actually Tuesday.” I knelt down beside Ammy and put my arm around her. “Tuesday’s when everything happens in this universe.”

“I hate the universe. I really do hate it.” She sighs.

“Don’t worry, I’m more into ponies than wolves.” I dismissed as I stood back up and strode to the table. “But I’ll take every opportunity to crack jokes.”

“Goddamnit! I’m surrounded by comedians! Am I the only one who’s sane?!”

“Everyone is insane, it just varies.” I sat down and nodded to Silver Plate. Silver was a -- as his name suggests -- silver unicorn with grey eyes and a white mane. His cutiemark was a silver plate.

“Yes, Grandmother Maxine?” he asked when he reached the table.

“I’ll have some basilisk eye stew with half a loaf of bread.” I turned to the wolves and said, “You should really try some, it’s very delicious.”

“Sounds gross.” Ammy says.

“Eh. Fuck it. Why not.” Chibi says.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.” I turned back to Silver. “Get her a manticore steak with all the trimmings. I think I’ll have some light cider as a drink.”

He glanced at Ammy nervously, “Um.... Y-yes, of course Grandmother.”

“Wow, it’s like he can’t hear you.”

“He can’t. Minor telepathy. Speaking normally sounds… different.” Ammy lets off a few barks for example.

At the word telepathy I close my mind and say, “I’ll let him know to get Chibi a bowl of stew when he gets back.”

She “laughs” a little at my reaction. “I felt you close your mind off.”

“I like my privacy.... unless you’d rather see what Celestia and I got up to...?” I raised an eyebrow and gave her a smile.

She tilts her head a bit. “The fuck? Yeaaah, Maybe not?”

“You sure?” I send her an image of Celestia dumping a vat of honey on Luna, followed by me slamming a pillowcase of feathers on her horn hard enough to send the downy things flying over her entire body.

“Gah!” She shouts, startled. She falls over with a thud. “Wasn’t expecting them to be that quick.”

“My thoughts may be a bit fast, but Celestia’s made sure I don’t come quickly~,” I said as I sent her a memory of Celestia pounding into me.

“GHAAAAAHHHH!!!!!”

Just then Silver came back with two trays in his magic. “Ah Silver, if you could get a second bowl of stew for Chibi?”

He gave me a hesitant look. “The smaller wolf?”

“You got a problem with me bub?” I hear him say.

“Yes, Grandmother, I’ll bring it out right away,” he said as he set the food in front of Ammy and I.

“-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH- Ooh! Food!- AAAAHHH!” Ammy screamed.

“Why the hell couldn’t he hear me?! Naomi! Explanation! Now!”

“HEPROBABLYCOULDN’TSEEOURMARKINGS-AAAAA! Aaand I’m done.”

“So the markings are a sign that someone can hear you?” I asked.

“It’s… Difficult to explain. Basically special ponies and other displaced can see them and hear us. I dunno what decides that.” Ammy explains.

“And you never explained this to me because…” Chibi asked.

“Didn’t feel like it.”

Yep, definitely siblings, I thought behind my defenses. “You sure you don’t want a taste, Ammy?”

“NOPE!”

I giggled. “I didn’t mean me~....”

“Still NOPE!”

I huffed and crossed my arms. “Can’t tell when a guy is trying to hit on you?”

“... I’m sorry, But I’m not interested in other women.”

“And I used to not be attracted to guys,” I said with a smirk. “I was straight as a vector back on earth.”

“Huh.” She mumbles.

“I’M TRYING TO EAT IN PEACE!” Chibi shouted.

I patted his head as I said, “Be thankful you were only turned into a cute wittle wowf pup and didn’t have your gender forcibly changed.”

“Eugh.”

I took a gulp of my cider. “Aaah.... This is good, but I hate that I can’t have hard cider since I’m nursing.”

“Uhh… What?” They both echoed.

I nodded. “Yeah, Light Sweet and Golden Spark are the offspring of Celestia and I.”

A silence sprang up between us until Chibi spoke up.

“It’s possible to bang a pony?!”

“WHAT DO YOU THINK I WAS SCREAMING ABOUT?!” Ammy yells.

I got a trollish grin on my face and said, “That’s not even the most kinky thing I’ve done with a pony. Wanna see what is?”

Almost instantly Ammy started to scream again.

“Was it that bad?”Chibi asked me.

“I’d show you, but you’re under age,” I said, taking another bite of my bread.

“I’m fucking twenty-one! Goddamnit! Do I really act that childish?!”

“Oh, well that changes things~!” I showed him a memory of me slapping Celestia’s flank while I and Night Wing filled both of her holes.

He stopped for a moment with a blank look on his face.

“Look what you did now! You got on his pervy side now!” Ammy shouts.

I laughed my ass off, almost falling out of my chair as I sent Ammy and Chibi a memory of one of our more bondage type sessions. I was the one in the ropes, too.

“OH GOD NO!” Ammy shouts, falling on the floor.

Chibi just stared straight ahead, unblinking.

Quill chose that moment to come in the door and say, “Fifteen minutes until court resumes, Grandmother Maxine.”

“Aaaaand my mood’s ruined,” I said.

“TAKE IT AWAY! TAKE IT AAWAAAYYY!” Ammy wailed.

“You wanna roam the palace for a few hours or get bored watching me make decisions for the next few- oh... I almost forgot. I have to give that bitch and her husband their punishment.”

Ammy gained an evil smile on her face. “I’m good now.. But do you think they can see us? Rather our markings?”

“I hope not! Shieldwall and Wind Runner threw their daughter out of their house just because she was a Thestral instead of a unicorn. And Wind did the same thing again with a filly that was sired by a different father.” I said, my expression darkening.

“Ouch. Now I really want to see if they can see our markings.”

“I’m planning on having their horns cut off and then banishing them, if only because Shieldwall was a little more repentant than his wife,” I explained. “If you can think of something less permanent, but still as harsh and memorable, please tell me. I’d rather not be viewed as a bloodthirsty maniac.”

The two fell silent for a moment.

“Really, I’ve got nothing..” Chibi spoke.

“I have an idea but It’s very… wierd, Yet memorable at the same time.” Ammy mutters.

“Is it weirder than having them run across a field wearing bright pink tootoo’s while other ponies shoot arrows at them?”

“What? N-no… Not that wierd…”

“Then it isn’t weird to me,” I said with a snobbish expression.

“I know a brush skill called… Icestorm, I think it was. It doesn’t harm ponies, but it does turn them into living snow...ponies. It also leaves them frozen solid for about… half a day.”

“Ah, you mean Blizzard. That was a fun one in the games.”

“No, I mean Icestorm. It was a secret brush skill.” She corrects.

“Must have missed it in the fifty odd times I played the game.”

“It was pretty obscure… I think it was anyways.” She says.

“Are you two DONE yet?!” Chibi cries.

“Quiet down or you don’t get another memory,” I told him as I stood up. “Anyways, that’ll work as long as I do something else to make sure they don’t have the power to do something to me or my daughters afterwards.”

“I have nothin’ that will work against that.” Ammy speaks.

“I guess I could strip them of their titles and half of their fortune.”I thought about it for a little. “Nah, that’ll give them a reason to say I give harsh punishments.”

“Why not just give them humiliating jobs?” Chibi jokes.

“Because they’re expecting at least banishment or beheading. If I let them off with only a humiliation, they’ll think I’m soft and easy to get around,” I explain, not catching his tone. “I could throw them in Tartarus, use that as a prison.”

“That sounds kinda harsh, even for what they’ve done. Why not just a prolonged stay in the dungeon?” Chibi mutters.

“Because Sky -- the first Thestral they hurt -- said they have a son in the guards. He won’t take kindly to his parents being treated like criminals. At least in Tartarus he won’t be able to get to them.” I sighed, rubbing my temples. “And that’s another thing I need to do....”

“Well, It’s your kingdom, I guess.”

I stopped, what he said fully registering. “‘Kinda harsh, even for what they did’? No, it isn’t even close to being harsh. Ask your Celestia what the crime Cruel and Unusual Domestic Abuse is and what the punishments usually are. If yours is like mine in this way, you’ll find death by waterboarding among them.”

“Crime is rare in our Equestria, Jus’ sayin’.” Ammy mutters.

I walked to a large door near some stairs and opened it. “Huh, I used to get lost for at least an hour when Celestia was alive.”

“Wait, your Celestia is… Dead?” Ammy asks.

“And Luna. They were killed by a pegasus named Hurricane,” I said quietly as I walked to the throne, Ammy and Chibi taking a spot close to my left.

“Oh…Uh, Honestly don’t know what to say…” She mutters again.

Chibi opened his mouth but was instantly shot down by a stink eye from Ammy.

I send them the images of their deaths with only sound, reliving it myself as Wind and Shieldwall were brought in.

“Ouch…” Ammy mutters, her voice full of pain.

“Shieldwall and Wind Runner, you have admitted guilt to the crimes of not only one but two instances of cruel and unusual domestic abuse,” I said, not hiding my emotions and making everyone in the room shudder.

“I only knew of Sky, I had no idea about the other foal!” Shieldwall shouted.

“You said in front of at least thirty witnesses that you would willingly accept any punishment given to your wife. That means you take responsibility for Shadow even though you had nothing to do with her circumstances.”

“Huh. So this is what it’s like to be in a court.” Chibi mutters.

This is a rare thing, I thought to him. For now at least. I plan on making ponies actually use the orphanages instead of just leaving foals on the side of the road or in an alley. I noticed Shieldwall’s eyes widen in surprise and go towards Chibi.

“I have given your sentence thought over the past two nights and am ready to pass judgement.”

Wind Runner stared at me defiantly, silently daring me to do my worst.

“What’d you settle on?” Chibi kept pressing.

“Give her… Him… space Landon!” Ammy shouts.

I glanced at the wolves and thought, I am a mother, I prefer to be called a her. Can you do all of the brush strokes in the games?

“And this is why we’ve been hiding for a thousand years in a cave!” Chibi exclaimed.

“Yes and no. The problem being that there are some that drain my energy fast.” Ammy replies, not noticing Chibi’s comment.

There goes that idea, then. I thought settling on a different punishment.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t use them however.”

“I sentence you to twenty years of hard labor,” I said finally, drawing a gasp or two from the other nobles present. I kept my gaze on Wind, though and saw the raw fear in her eyes. “ You will be stripped of all your possessions, titles, and wealth during this time and will work with a magic restrainer on at all times.”

“T-this is in-equine!” Shieldwall exclaimed.

“So are your crimes.” I waved a hand, telling the guards silently to either let them walk out or be dragged out. “Where your time will be spent will be determined tomorrow night right before you are sent there.”

I’m glad I took care of that other pony last night. If I had to deal with him after this, I wouldn’t have been as lenient.

“That didn’t go as bad as I expected it to go.” Chibi mutters.

“Ugh, Tonight’s only half over and I already have a headache,” I muttered under my breath as I rubbed my forehead a little, reaching over to scratch Ammy between her ears.

“What are you-...” She stops short as my fingers make contact with her fur.

I pet her absently as I listen to the pony in front of me, droning on about increasing the size of the city’s orphanage and increasing the number of caretakers in it. It takes him two hours to get done talking with me providing him with answers or acknowledgements that I am still listening.

Once he finished I said, “You show great foresight by bringing this to me now. However, the name of the orphanage shall remain the same and you will be given a place among the contributors on the walls of the orphanage instead.”

I stop petting Ammy to motion to Quill Weave, making her jump before heading forwards to help with the details of the pony’s plan. “Court is adjourned for tonight.” I stood and made my own way to the doors.

“Already? That was quick.” Ammy mutters.

“You kinda fell into a trance once Max started to pet you.” Chibi mutters.

I smirked at them over my shoulder and said, “I wasn’t even trying to make it enjoyable. If you want I could give you some... heavy petting once my fillies are asleep~.” I waggled my eyebrows at Ammy.

“Uhh… Yeah, The way you said that makes it creepy so no.”

“Okay, but you’re missing out,” I said in a singsong voice. I turned a corner, changing the subject. “So, super soldier project. Think it’s bad news coming from a pony?”

“I dunno. What’s the details?” Ammy asks.

I paused for a moment, trying to remember the important parts of Money bag’s speech. “It makes the ‘volunteer’ as strong at ten earth ponies and gives them better regeneration than Wolverine while also enhancing their senses to almost an extreme. Money Bags, the pony you landed on, was trying to bore me with an in-depth explanation.”

“So basically making a pony into a better Captain America?” Chibi asks.

“About three times better, but yes. Another detail, they didn’t want me looking into what they were doing. Saying that the wellbeing of Equestria wasn’t important to me.” I snorted in amusement. “It was being funded and fielded by the local weapons manufacturer, a ship builder, and Money Bags -- a banker.”

“Yeah, That sounds like that they’re using illegal means to do this while trying to cover it up by saying you gave them permission.”

I smiled at them and said, “How would yo-” I shuddered violently and looked up the hall to the corner, dread filling me for some reason.

“Y-you ok?” Chibi asks.

“I-I don’t....” I quickened my pace, wanting to know what was around the corner. When I reached the corner I saw a guard lying on the floor outside of a room with the door open, his body in a horrible state of decay. The room he was outside of was mine.”No.”

“...What. The. Fuck.” The two wolves muttered at the same time.

I slowed my perception of time and sped down the hall, accidentally ripping the door off its hinges when I opened it more. I was chilled to the bone when I saw Stronghooves standing on my bed with Rainbow in his hooves, a sword in his magic, and Golden being held by Sol, the filly’s right forehoof decaying. Sol had some scratches that were decaying as well, but thankfully Light Sweet and Mun were unharmed so far.

“Holy! Ok, Who the hell is this guy?! What the fuck is going on!?” Ammy shouts, just now standing beside me.

I say only one malice and hate filled word, “Stronghooves.” Before I slow time down even more and rush him, my hand closing around his horn. Without much thought I snap it off and let time flow normally.

“I have no words to what I have just witnessed…”

Rainbow, the hoof restraining her loosening, flew at Mun and stared fearfully at the stallion writhing in pain at my feet.

I hauled him up by his neck not caring at all if I was choking him. “Is this petty revenge for me demoting you?” I hissed in his face. “Are you so heartless that you would kill helpless foals?!”

“N-no,” he said, spitting in my face. “You ruined the chance I had at bringing my family back together.” He gave me an evil smile. “I wanted you to know the pain you caused me.”

“... Uhhh.. We’re… Just gonna… stand outside…” Ammy said

“Go get a guard or two, please.” I gave him a smile just as evil as his. “I have a punishment already.”

“OK, I do not like your tone… but ok…” Sol and Mun went with them carrying the foals to the medical wing.

“You, Stronghooves, are dishonorably discharged from the guard. I’ll make sure every single pony knows what you tried. You’ll wander the kingdom stealing your every meal, never being wanted in a town after dawn. You’ll be hated by every single pony you come across.” I glanced down at his sword, noticing that it was of a much finer make than a normal officer’s. I picked it up and glanced at him. He was getting nervous. “What curse is on this blade?”

“Why should I tell you?” He demanded.

“Because, you’ll either tell me or I’ll force it out of you. I can get very convincing when I get creative. Maybe I’ll just smother you with honey and watch as the Fire Mites eat you some, or I could have a baby Tatzelworm brought to the palace and let it carve its way through you.”

I saw some hesitancy come into his eyes as he said, “T-that’ll kill me, you won’t be able to get it from me if I’m dead.”

“Oh, have no fear of that,” I chuckled darkly. “I can make you last as long as I want. I can make you heal naturally so I can keep feeding you to things until you talk.”

He gulped. I could almost see the fear coming off him. “I-it doesn’t have a name. I-it necrotizes anything that gets cut by it a-and it uses healing magic to speed up. I-it won’t go away with time and it continues even after death.”

“We’re back. We managed to find at least two guards that would pay attention to us.” Ammy said from the door.

I let go of Stronghooves and bolted to the door. “Ammy, keep this sword pointed at him and make sure no one gets cut by it I have to get to Sol and Mun before they get to a doctor,” I said in a rush, running and using my powers to go even faster when I left the room.

I caught up to the five right as they were going into the medical wing and said, “No, get a Healer to cleanse your wounds before you have a doctor look at them.”

“Yes, commander,” Sol said.

“And why did you have guards instead of your hulls guarding the room?”

“We didn’t want to leave you with only ponies to guard you,” Mun said.

I sighed. “I can understand that, but why not have only one of you there as your avatar and the other as their hull?”

The two looked at each other and then back to me saying at the same time, “We hadn’t thought of that.”

I turned, having accomplished what I wanted to do, and walked back to my room to take care of Stronghooves.

“And how is that relevant?” I heard Chibi say once I came into range of their telepathy.

What’s this about? I thought to them as I walked towards the door. I stopped when I reached it, staring at a skeleton with bits of meat decaying swiftly off of the already white bones. The broken horn told me who it was. “Oh.”

“OH GOD SHE’S BACK!” Ammy shouts, jumping in the air.

“He tried to kill himself! What do we say?!” Chibi tried to whisper to Ammy. There was silence before the sound of barking came up.

“You don’t have to say anything. This just proves that what I was going to do to him was worse than death,” I told them, leaning over to pick up the sword that was lying flat underneath him. “Here Ammy, You can have this thing. I don’t want it anywhere Hurricane might hear about it.”

“Thanks. I see what you want. We take it back to our Equestria?”

“Back to you're universe, dump it in the Void, throw it in a volcano, I don’t care as long as it’s no where near here.” I shiver at the memory of what the blade could do. “You know what, no. Give it a name and keep it. You never know when you might need a cursed sword, or if you could turn the curse into a blessing.”

“Alright. I’ll think about that later.”

I squatted down and poked Stronghooves’s skull. “I’m guessing that he was part of the super pony project on top of being a guard.” I looked up and saw Ammy and Chibi staring blankly at me. “Advanced healing magic is used to increase their natural healing factor so their injuries, even if they are fatal, take only seconds to heal completely. That sword uses the healing magic as an accelerator as it necrotizes the victim.”

“Oooh…” They both utter.

“.... You barely understood that, didn’t you? Don’t worry, I don’t even understand the process completely.” I stood up, taking a step over the bones. I looked at the guards for the first time, recognizing the right one as Night Wing. “Please send for someone to clean this up. And tell the chefs that I’ll be eating in the gardens for dinner.”

“Sooo… We’re done here?” Chibi asks, obviously bored.

“Yeah, unless you want dinner. Well, I should say breakfast since the food items are for breakfast.” I looked at Ammy. “You want to join me for a shower?” I ask as I head to the bathroom, shedding my clothes as I went.

“Uhhh..” Chibi mutters.

“Goddamnit…” Ammy mutters, placing a paw on her snout.

“I’ll be treating you like the cute, fluffy pup you are if you join me, Chibi,” I said as I opened the door.

“When you put it that way hell no. I’m. Not. FLUFFY!” Chibi said.

“Whatever you say~.” I give Ammy one last glance as I say, “I’m not offering because I want to get in your metaphorical pants.”

There’s a silence between us.

“LEG IT!” She shouts before I feel time distorting around both of us.

I smile trollishly as I mess with how long the distortion lasts, making them appear only two feet from where they were. “I meant it. I’m not feeling up to doing that right now.”

“I hate the universe right now…”

“Not the universe that’s doing that~,” I say as I close the door. While I cleaned myself up, I heard Sol and Mun’s hulls rumble out in the hall, stopping on either side of the door to the room. Don’t worry, those are Sol and Mun’s original bodies, I thought to the wolves.

“We’re not worried. We’ve seen enough in this universe to make Tirek cry.” Ammy mutters.

Oh, you’ve seen season four?

“Yeah, Haven’t gotten that far in our Equestria though. About.. Midseason… Three-four I think? I haven’t seen any episodes take place yet to tell.”

We’re between two and three right now. No, you aren’t going to get to spoil the future for Twilight. I might just turn her immortal so she can protect Equestria from the really big stuff while I take care of the civil disputes.

“Dangit!” Chibi cries.

“Shush. What if Tirek attacks ahead of the seasons? Anything could happen.” Ammy asks.

While Tartarus is in this dimension, Those of The Harvest sealed it so tightly that nothing can get in or out unless they use the gate and the only way they’re going to get out that way is... if they.... Was that episode with the time travel in the second season? I thought.

“Think so? It’s been more than a thousand years since I’ve seen the show.”

“STARS BLAST IT ALL, HE’S ALREADY ESCAPED!” I yell as I turn off the water, running to my closet.

“Well, Unless you can Alicornize Twi-Twi now then you’re pretty much screwed if he gets too much magic.” Ammy mutters as I try to block out Chibi’s laughter.

“As if there wasn’t enough on my plate already! Hurricane gathering his forces, the Crystal Kingdom coming back soon, and me trying to rework the guards,” I snap as I pull on a piece of clothing. “He’s going to be extremely weak right now, which means he might join with Hurricane until he’s strong enough to take magic on his own. DAMMIT!” My shoulders sag. “I won’t have much time for my foals....”

“So… I guess you’re gonna go after him?” Chibi asks.

I brighten a little as I think of something. “Not right away, I have to make sure that he isn’t in Tartarus and that he is actually in this universe. I might be worrying for nothing.” I turn back to face the room and say, “Let’s go get some dinner real quick before you go.”

“That sounds like a good idea…”

I raise an eyebrow at the small wolf before shrugging and leading the way to the gardens, jumping out a window as a shortcut. “Mmmm, bacon, pancakes, and scrambled eggs,” I said as I sat down at one of the three plates.

“I wonder what the staff think of two magical wolves sitting down with you.” Ammy mutters.

“Most of them probably think you’re new pets of mine. I’ve had about ten so far that have been eaten by Philomena,” I said, taking a bite of pancake. “Is it just me or is it breezy out here?”

“.... A little, I guess… Are the Pegasi doing their job right?”

“Not Pegasi, Thestrals -- Lunar Pegasi -- just don’t call them that or mention bats when talking about one of them.” I felt a mosquito land on one of my breasts and slapped it, stopping when I felt nothing but skin under my squeezing hand. “.... Why am I wearing barely anything?”

We sat in silence for what seemed like hours. Chibi staring right at my hand, Ammy glancing around with a pink-ish red muzzle, and me just sitting there.

“G-g… WHAT?! I understand you were in a panic but how did none of us notice that?!” Ammy rants.

I shrug and say, “Hey, spend half a year in barely anything most of the time and you tend to not care what you pick up to wear.”

“Y-yeah… I’m just.. Gonna look down for the rest of the time.”

“Aw, come on. You can barely tell what I’m wearing with that cloud over us,” I said.

As soon as I said that a Thestral flew over to the cloud and kicked it into oblivion revealing a startled reporter and the full moon, lighting up the area and making the two black strips of leather I was wearing stand out on my skin. They ran from my shoulders, over my breasts, and down between my legs with rings of metal exposing my nipples and lower lips to the night air.

The reporter took a picture before winging it away.

“DAMN IT MURPHY!” I yelled, attracting the attention of the Thestral that kicked the cloud.

As the pony got closer I could see that it was a stallion with auburn eyes, a coat so blue it was almost black, a mane and tail a lighter shade of blue, and a cutiemark that looked like a mischievous smile.

“Yes?” He said when he landed.

“... yeah.. yeah, I think it’s time for us to go.” Ammy deadpans.

“.... Your name is Murphy?” I asked the Thestral.

“Murphy of The Harvest, at your service!” he said, taking a bow as he did so. “I’m also called Murphy the Troublemaker because of my Law.”

“Holy shit. Murphy is real here!” Chibi shouts.

“Heh.... Talk about getting the short end of the stick,” I said, rubbing the back of my head.

Murphy’s wings suddenly shot up as he finally saw what I was wearing, a blush forming on his muzzle.

I frowned. “I already have three foals.”

That made his wings fold right away. “Oh, w-well, um.... IthinkIhearsomeoneelseaskingfortroublebye!” He said before speeding off.

“He totally liked you.” Chibi laughs.

“Tch, most guys will run away when you mention kids. The more there are, the less likely it is for them to stay.” I sighed. “Anyways, you said something about going back to your universe, Ammy?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure Sweetie Belle is going to be wondering where we’ve been.” She speaks.

“Okay, then. Oh! before I forget,” I rushed back to my room and grabbed my bag, getting back before even a second had passed. “I might ha-” I pulled out Nemesis’ token. “What? I gave this to Medulla.”

“Who? Never mind, I don’t think I want to know.”

“He’s Resident Evil’s most noteworthy enemy,” I explained. “I don’t really know which game he’s from since I’ve only played four.”

“Ah..”

“I gave this token to another Displaced, though. How I got a second one I have no ide-” I pulled out two of Kat’s tokens. “.... Merchant, this better just be a troll....”

“The merchant can go fuck himself.” Chibi speaks up.

“Hey, he’s actually a nice guy,” I said slightly offended. “He’s the one that gave me all the tokens I have, this bag, and...” I pull out my PDW. “This. Of course he’s not the one who sent me here....”

“He’s been a total dick to us since we arrived in Equestia... It’s safe to say we hate him.”

“So he dragged you two to your Equestria and kept coming back to mess with you?” I asked.

“No-Yes… Honestly, I can’t remember how we got there…” Ammy mutters.

“So you’ve seen him only once, and that’s what you have a problem with?”

“I feel like I’ve seen him more than once but… it’s weird. I can’t remember the times…”

“Ah, you’ve just played the game at least some.” I said, pulling out more duplicates. “He’s the one you buy stuff from in the fourth RE game.”

“No, I’ve never played Resident Evil. Ever. Might be old memory or something.”

“Okay, I know I gave this one to Nono,” I said as I pulled out the Genji Gloves.

“Ok, Yeah, That’s alot of Tokens…” Chibi remarked.

“I started out with over a thousand, but traded all but fifty away for all the Out of Universe items I have.” I pulled out two that looked like miniature black scythes on necklaces. “Haven’t seen this one before.”

“Something about that one gives me the shivers..” Ammy says, walking away from the token.

I heard the Displaced’s message, trying to think if I would ever need his help. “Eh.... why not.” I put one back in my bag and tossed all of the duplicates to Ammy. “Here, I’m too tired to sort them out for you. Just watch out for Alice and Pyramid Head they’re part of a ‘triad of madness’. There are a few others you shouldn’t hang with.... Like Ben.”

“Ben? Wait, before you tell me anything, Do I want to know who he is?” Ammy asks.

“He’s Kat’s brother, but he dressed up as Ben Ten. His token is a Plumber’s badge and the message is cheery. Don’t be fooled by it, according to Kat he’ll bitch and whine if you summon him.”

“Ha! Sounds like Mr Fluffy over here in the mornings!” Ammy jokes.

“Shut up!” Chibi snaps.

“The only other one I can name that you should avoid is Terridax or however you say his name,” I concluded. “I don’t really know anything about him except that he’s fighting a ‘War of Understanding’ with someone called Auric Fulcrum who had once been Dullahan.”

“Huh. Well, I’ll steer clear of them. Dunno about him.” Ammy says, looking over at Chibi.

“If he doesn’t I’ll be sure to track him down and pet him and love him and call him Fluffy Mc Flufferkins.” I say with a slightly insane smile.

“... Ok, Send us back.” He spoke instantly.

I giggle and say, “See ya later, Dawgs.”

“Bye~!” Ammy said before popping out of existence.

I slowly turned to Chibi, a small smile on my face. Before he could react I lunged across the table and hugged him, smothering him in between my breasts. I hugged him and pet him, saying how cute and adorable he was until he too winked out of the universe.

Author's Notes:

Couldn't resist adding Murphy there.

This crossover brought to you by New Dawn and the word "bitch".