Wibbly-Wobbly Timey-Wimey? Nope, Just Max

by Moon_Fire

First published 17th of March, 2015

I cos'play as Max Caulfield and buy her camera. I get sucked into Equestria and gender-bent.

My name's Max, Maxine Caulfield. I have been imprisoned in stone for the last 1,025 years, four months, six days, fifteen hours, twenty-nine minutes, and two seconds. How did I get here? I gave Celly and Luna some prophecies.... Okay, I snuck into the royal bathroom and used all of Tia's favorite shampoo.... How did I manage to use twenty bottles of soap in under seven minutes anyways?

(Note: I'm not going to edit this or try to make it pretty and will write it on the actual chapter page instead of in a doc. Crossovers will be written in a doc, though)
(Note 2:Max Caulfield is from the game Life is Strange.)

Not going to try to get permission for cover art will take it down if the owner tells me to.

Chapter 0: Controlling Time

Journal entry #1: Whew, today was the big day! I'm starting a new journal because I filled the last one right before Celly blew up and encased me in stone. Here's more or less how I got out...

Oh give me a home
Where the buffalo roam.
Where the deer and the antelope play!
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word,
And the sky is not cloudy all day!

SHUT UP, YOU HAIRLESS APE! I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR WEEKLY 'DRIVE DISCORD EVEN MORE INSANE' TIME!! I heard over the... you know, I don't know how Discord and I can hear each other. Ah well, one more thing to chalk up to being in Equestria. I like to think of it as texting someone with your mind.

Come on, you were practically begging me to talk to you the first twenty years, I sent back at him.

That was before I found out that you're like a karaoke machine every Saturday night AND GO UNTIL DAWN SUNDAY!!!!!

Caps lock, remember to turn it off once in a while~! ;P

Discord and I were situated in the Royal Sister's Garden in Canterlot, though it's known now as the Royal gardens. I was right outside the window behind the throne on a pedestal that put me high enough to look over Luna's shoulder at who was currently bringing their problem forward. Discord, being a trouble-maker even as a statue had to be moved from the next pillar over to one in a vault under the throne. No one but Luna -- and all the ponies Celestia had petrified along with me -- knew the vault was there anymore. That didn't stop him from getting out two or three days ago, and what a short time it was.

Man, over a thousand years and I'm still stuck in stone. I still remember how I got stoned... *snerk* Okay, that was a lame joke. And I still have to tell you how I got here before you'll be able to understand that story.

FLASHBACK

"Oh, wow! someone actually cos-playing as Max," said the person taking tickets. I was in line outside the con's main room giving my ticket to the guy. I decided to have a bit of fun and see how good my impression was.

"Yeah, I know she's a girl, but I'm not gonna let that stop me from going to a con as her," I said with a smile. I knew my outfit was almost complete... almost. I still hadn't found an analogue camera like the one she had that wasn't super expensive, so there was that along with my gender that would be counted against me in the competition. I had on an old greyed hoodie, a pair of worn blue jeans with a few holes in them and a pair of tennis shoes -- girls tennis shoes at that (they were very comfy, sue me). I also had some black eyeliner around my eyes like I hadn't had a lot of sleep and, instead of a wig, I just grew out my hair to match.

"Dude, seriously? You're a guy!?"

"Yup," I said in my natural voice, my smile getting a bit bigger. "Here I thought I wouldn't be able to pull off her voice."

"Um..." the guy scratched his head. "Enjoy the con?"

I gave him a nod and walked in to enjoy my first convention, and to commemorate the occasion I headed towards the stalls. I wonder if I'll find a camera -- or at least a replica -- here... It was about an hour into my search that I saw someone cos-playing as Samus Aran disappear suddenly from in front of a stall. No warning, no flash of light or darkness, no inter-demensional gate -- just gone.

... What.... Okay, now I want to buy something from that vendor.

Walking over, the man standing behind the counter saw me and beckoned me closer before reaching under the table and pulled out a yellow analogue camera, just like the one Max had in Life is Strange. I was there in a second asking, "How much for it?"

The guy was dressed in a very life-like costum of a Moogle from Final Fantasy XII, complete with small bat-like wings. "Only thirty bucks, and I'll even throw in enough film for two hundred photos Kupo!"

I look at everything else he was selling, "Fuck that, here's a hundred, and I'll take that pencil case as well."

"Thank you Kupo! Mind your head..."

"Wait, wha-"

Damn, if I knew he could hit that hard I wouldn't have gone over there... I thought as I woke up, rubbing my head. Now where am I?

Looking around I found I was outside a cave in a clearing. One that held a very familiar Tree. "No way. No fucking way! I'M IN EQUESTRIA!!!!! ... And I'm now a girl..."

Shit, I sound just like Max, just more sure of myself, my eyebrows shot up as I thought of something. ... Do I have her powers?

Looking around, I began taking note of every little thing that happened. Okay, there's a... Bluejay? flying into the cave, most likely has a nest in the Tree.... There's a squirrel running from some angry rabbits... never thought I'd say that....

Just then, a hawk swooped down and picked up a rabbit, plunging its beak into the rabbit's neck before flying off. If that bunny was sentient enough to look angry, it's sentient enough to know what karma is.

Turning back to face the Tree, I raised my right hand and held it out in front of me. Everything slowly stopped and then began to reverse. The hawk flew backwards into the clearing again and deposited the rabbit back on the ground where it began running backwards, rewinding to where it entered the clearing with its friends. The bluejay came out of the cave, going back over the trees where it came from. Soon, I began to feel a pain in my head, and lowered my arm.

Standing there, I watched everything play itself out again, the pain not going away until the hawk flew off with the rabbit again. Damn, I'm limited to how far back and how often I can rewind. But at least I can rewind time like Max could.

"Are we there yet?" a familiar voice said. My first thought was: OHMYGOSHTHATWASCELESTIA*squee*!!!!! My second one was more intelligible, ... Celestia's the one that's whining? This will be fun to watch.

Author's Notes:

Yeah, I know. "You're far behind with the 'weekly' updates for Duellum Telum and you're writing another!?!?"

I've had it in my head to make this story for quite a while now. I've been going back and forth on whether or not I should use Max Caulfield from Life is Strange or Jehuty from Zone of Enders.

Chapter 01: Petrification and Prophets

"We'll get there when we get there," Luna's exasperated voice said through the trees. Gotta hide! ... Wait.... Better idea.

Moving to the middle of the entrance to the cave, I picked up a stick that was as tall as I was and stood there waiting for the inevitable confrontation that would arrive. Insert aplicable Gandalf pose here, I thought with a chuckle before making my face go blank.

"Still, this has been boring for the past three hours. This forest is supposed to be filled with monsters, yet we have seen only bunnies and squirrels," Luna said as she stepped into the clearing. She looked exactly like she was in the Season Four Pilot; twigs sticking out of her mane, and dirt clinging to her coat. "Where are...."

Celestia, taking notice of her sister's pause, strode into the clearing and stopped next to Luna. She was completely clean, her hot pink coat shining in the sunlight.

She gained a slight smirk and a disdainful look in her eyes as they found me. "This is what Discord sets against us?"

Wow, didn't expect a prideful Celestia, I kept my calm, neutral expression, not showing any sign at the name.

"Sister, don't assume. It might be the Tree's protector," Luna chided.

"It is in our way, if it is the Tree's protector, it has fallen to his magic. And so will the Tree if we don't stop him."

Can't fault her logic. Besides, the Tree of Harmony does almost fall to the plunder vines.... That sounds messed up. I shift from one foot to the other, causing the two ponies to focus on me again. "I am neither Corrupted by Chaos, nor the protector of Harmony. I bring tidings of the future."

"How will you prove this? You have nothing but that staff of yours," Luna said.

"I have more than just a staff." though it's not really a staff "I will tell you of things to come."

"Then speak your peice and be gone," Celestia replied.

"Tia! Please forgive my sister, she can be a bit hot-blooded at times," Luna said. "Please, tell us what you will."

Okay, why do I feel like I'm not in My Little Pony? Maybe this wasn't a good idea... I continued on anyways, turning to face Celestia. "You, Celestia, have two futures-"

"How can one pony have two futures, it's impossible!" She inturrupted.

"You have two futures, but may only choose one. One is the path of Darkness and rage, the other of isolation and redemption."

"So I have to choose between those?"

I nodded, "Once the one called Discord is dealt with, this shall come to pass."

"And what of me, Prophet? what do you see of me?" Luna asked.

I looked at the younger sister, and filled my face with sorrow, "A pain no one should have to bear. Be warned: the future is not set in stone; there are many paths through life. But know this, Events shall happen no matter what, though they be small or large, they shall come to pass."

With that I turned and walked along the cliff base, not looking back or reacting when they tried to come after me. I took one last step, ensuring that I was out of sight from where they had been standing and rewound time, letting it play once it had moved to before I had turned, making my escape complete. Now to wait while Discord blows over.

Ugh why do I feel this way? I'm not sick, I don't think it's that time of the month; besides, that would have more than just feeling bad, I shuddered, not wanting to know what it actually felt like. I pushed on, still being as silent as I could be. I've been careful about what I eat, and I know I'm getting enough sleep. The only thing I haven't been doing is taking a bath. I must smell pretty ripe after two months in a forrest.... Is that all it is?

I push through a few more bushes, surprised to find myself in front of a hot spring with about a hundred bottles on stone shelves lining one side of the pool.

"Oh, this is way too good to be true...." I look around and seeing that the coast was indeed clear, I stripped and dove in, relishing the delicious warmth. Soon I surfaced, my need for air instead of water to breathe forcing me to. I have to admit, my memories of what happened after are... blurry, to say the least. I do remember something about a sponge shaped like a horses penis, though. The next thing I remember clearly was dressing, feeling very pleased with myself.

I heard something gasp in horror after I straightened up from tying my shoes. Turning, I saw Celestia standing outside an open door I had somehow managed to miss on a building I didn't know had been there.

"Uh.... Hi?" I said. How did I miss an entire building?

"You...." Her expression changed to a rage filled glare, "Y-you used my shampoo?!"

I glanced over my shoulder, noticing the twenty or so bottles floating in the water, each of them had a sun on their side. Fuck.... How did I use that much shampoo? "Um.... I hadn't known it was yours?"

"I don't mind that Luna uses it once in a while, but you; something I met only once?!?!" She took a step towards me, her horn lighting up.

I took a step back, almost falling back in the pool, "L-look I know this looks bad, but I-"

Without warning she released her spell, hitting my chest right in the center. It's a curious sensation; turning to stone. You feel yourself slowly being consumed by a cold, dead-like feeling -- sort of like you're going numb, but more terrifying.

In a panic, I tried reversing time. By the time my arm was out-stretched, I was encased in stone.

I didn't exactly pay attention to what went on around me, but I did listen to news about what was happening. Apparently Celestia tried to take Luna out of the picture by banishing her to the moon, but Luna managed to banish her instead. She raged at my statue for weeks after, saying it was my fault that Celestia had to be banished to the sun.... I'd rather not go into detail about how she broke down and almost took her own life in front of my statue. I don't even know how she heard my thoughts, but she did apparently and never tried that again.

She continued to visit me once a month, letting out everything she kept bottled up during Court; I learned more about the 'nobles' that Celestia had let stay in power than I ever needed to know. I learned that ponies were slowly adopting a nocturnal pattern, with the exception of Pegasi, they were... set on bringing Celestia back and openly shunned all that changed. There were more than a few assassination attempts made over the next four hundred years. Four days after the last attempt, pegasi were hunted down... and not by guards. The ones who survived the fifty year hunt went into hiding and weren't seen again. Presumed to have died out after three hundred years.

I used most of my time seeing how I could improve my control over time (the spell Celestia used turned you to stone, but trapped your spirit and magic/powers in the stone prison. It didn't hinder you, just made certain that you couldn't lose your powers). I got to the point where I could go back years and even go forwards in time a little.

So, here we are: annoying Discord again, trying to escape after he had failed.

You know, if you didn't sing as often I'd have freed you already, Discord thought-texted me.

And I wouldn't have the satisfaction of doing it myself. Plus I would've been imprisoned again just for escaping around the time you had. I sent back, a little annoyed that he's just now mentioning that. .... But I wouldn't mind the help. I'll even cause some Chaos for you~!

Alright, just don't go using all of Celestia's shampoo again, he replied smugly.

Hey! that was one time! And I hadn't known that I was in their private washroom...

He laughed as he unravelled the spell holding me motionless, until I couldn't hear his thoughts anymore.

"If only I could get away with an Alladin quote right now," I said as I rubbed my neck and stretched. "Okay, I think Luna said that Celestia had her rooms in the... west wing? Or maybe it's west from the throne room? Bah, I'll figure it out as I go."

I hopped down to the ground and started towards the nearest door that lead into the castle.

Author's Notes:

Whew, two chapters written in one day for this fic.... Yeah, nothing much to say here except give me some critique if you want, not to mention comments. I love replying to comments.

Chapter 02: Tokens, Merchants, and Playing Pranks

"Did I somehow walk into Resident Evil 4 or something?" I asked, peering around a corner at the Merchant from RE4. He had his long trenchcoat and his fire-bowl-on-a-pole and everything.

I had been casually strolling through the castle trying to find Celestia's room and using Time Control to get past the guards unnoticed. Though I had to get pretty creative to get past them they were... surprisingly untrained. How those incompitents managed to get past training I'll never know. But, after an hour or two of wandering, I turned the corner I was just looking around and had a little fan-girl moment.... Yes it was little, stop asking.

Okay, it's not like approaching him will take me to a different universe.... I do need more film, and possibly a gun or two would be nice. With that in mind I went around the corner again and walked over.

When I was standing in front of him he said, "Welcome, welcome! Got some rare things on sale, Stranger."

EEEEEEEE!!! He sounds just like the Merchant!!!! Smiling broadly I said, "I'm no more a stranger than you are."

"True. Ah, a friend of mine said to give you these when you found me." He pulled a bag out from behind his back and tossed it to me.

"Um.... Thanks?" I caught the bag and looked in it. There was an odd assortment of items inside; a Metroid symbol, a black diamond the size of both my fists put together, some books, a few coins, a pair of gauntlets, a wierd tube with a double helix inside, a few keys and keychains, and a statue of Jehuty and Anubis locked in battle to name a few. ...Is that a Plumber's sigil there?

"He said that those are thanks for paying more than triple what he asked for."

"Oh, you're talking about that guy in a Moogle costume, though now I'm doubting it was a costume." Closing the bag, I said, "So how are we going to do this? I don't have money and I doubt you'll give me anything else for free."

The merchant nodded, "You can use those tokens to buy things from me. I'll even give you a discount: one item for one token. Ammunition I'll sell you in bulk for two tokens every fifty mags."

"That's nice, but how about I pay two for each item and three for every fifty mags?"

The merchant's eyes widened, "That's not how bartering works."

I rolled my eyes. "You're taking time out of your life to come here so I can buy things from you, either take it or get your friend to come here."

The merchant eyed me suspiciously. "Well, if you say it like that. Feel free to browse my wares."

One shopping spree later, I had ditched my camera bag for one that was smaller on the outside and bigger on the inside, a PDW-57 with a suppressor, fast mag, extended clip, foregrip, FMJ, EOTech sight, a stock, and a laser sight, five hundred mags for the gun, enough film for a thousand pics, and a better pencil case to put the remaining tokens in.

I kept about fifty tokens, most notable among them the Gravity Gem (Found out that the diamond could summon someone from Gravity Shifter or whatever that game was called and named it as such), the helix-tube (I CAN SUMMON THE GREATEST ENEMY FROM THE RE SERIES!!!!), some of the coins, and the token that could summon Samus Aran (EEEEEE!!!!!!).

"Come back any time!" The merchant said as I stuffed everything into my new bag.

"Don't you worry about that, you and your friend are the only two merchants I'll buy from for things outside of this universe," I said after I was done with my bag.

"See ya wherever, " I said as I turned away. Only now noticing the door that was across the hall that had an image of the sun on it. ... Nope, not even surprised. I should probably send out my token before I go in.

Taking out my camera, I turned it to face me and snapped a pic. Shaking it to help dry the photo off I said, "Time, the real final frontier. This is the token of Max Caulfield, the Master of Time. Its mission: to seek out those who would protect others and tear down tyranny; to boldly go before me so that I may be called when the time is right." With that I tossed it away, watching as it disappeared into a portal. An actual portal to somewhere else.... Gah! back on track, Max.

Before I could take a step the door opened as Celestia walked out of her room, took one look at me, and turned down the hallway saying with a yawn, "Too early, come back after I have my coffee."

.... What.... WHAT!?!? SHE IMPRISIONS ME IN STONE AND WHEN SHE SEES ME OUT ALL SHE CAN SAY IS 'LET ME GET MY COFFEE'!?!?!? Tears spring up in my eyes as I watch her walk off. Even as Max I'm not worth much trouble.... No, I WILL be recognized, I won't be pushed aside. I'm gonna fuck her coffee up.

Now let's see.... Where do they keep their spices? I mused, having found my way to the kitchen. I opened one of the numerous cabinets and found nothing but flour. Closing that one, I moved onto the next one, and searched until I had what I needed for my plan. I chuckled darkly, my prank taking form as I danced around ponies that had been trying to catch me.

Some garlic, pepper, a whole cube of salt, cinnamon, cilantro, oregano, wasabi sauce, some ghost pepper oil, jalapeno juice, a little drop of liquid rainbow, and to top it all off some crushed laxative chocolate went into that one pot of coffee. And no one was the wiser when I picked it up, rewound time, and then set it back down, rewinding time once I exited the kitchen into the dining room and hid behind a pillar. Now to watch. No one ignores Max Caulfield.

I didn't have to wait long as Celestia came in, her head almost touching the floor in her half-asleep state. As she sat down a waiter brought her the pot and a mug with "Warning: do not approach unless filled with coffee" on the side and poured a cup for my unsuspecting prey. I took out my camera, this was promising to be well worth it.

Celestia brought the mug to her lips when Luna walked in looking like she went five rounds with an Ursa Minor. "So what happened last night?" she asked as she lowered the mug.

"It seems that Discord was able to cast a spell, though how he managed that I have no idea," Luna replied, sitting down next to her sister.

"I think I know what it did."

Luna whipped her head around to face Celestia and said, "What happened?"

"I think that thing I stoned was standing outside of my door this morning," She replied, raising her mug again.

I smiled and raised my camera in anticipation.Oh yeah, this is going to be so sweet!

"Prophet-" Luna was inturrupted by a spray of coffee and a flash of light.

Chapter 03: Love, Shifting, and New Views

“That’s for ignoring me for coffee!” I yelled as I took off out the door, a scream of rage following me. Now to make a clean-ish getaway!

As I was running, I reached into my bag and pulled out my pencil case already knowing which one I would grab. I pulled out a black gem instead. “Let’s see if this works! I call upon you who wields gravity. Kat Shifter, I need a little help!”

Up ahead, a black and red portal swirled into existence and an older girl with long blonde hair walked through. She looked around, spotting me and waving. “Hi there!”

“No time to talk got a mad Celestia on my tail!” I exclaimed as I grabbed her arm and started pulling. Which did absolutely nothing; she didn’t even budge!

“Running from her isn’t gonna make your situation any better,” she said, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. “It’s Celestia, she can usually take a joke… more often than not.”

I stopped tugging and gave her my most serious of faces. “She doesn’t when you mess with her coffee on purpose.”

Kat facepalmed. “You don’t mess with anyone’s coffee, crétin,” she sighed. “That’s just mean and inconsiderate. You should apologize to her.”

I let go and poked my fingers together. “Yeah.... About that.... I accidentally used all of her favorite shampoo and she turned me to stone. I doubt she’ll be any more accommodating with this.” I crossed my arms, “Besides, she ignored me and went for coffee instead.”

Kat just looked at me before quirking an eyebrow. She grabbed my arm and started dragging me back the direction I came. “Come on, you’re going to apologize. And don’t worry, there’s not gonna be any petrifications. We’re gonna settle this here and now.”

“Oh come on! You think this Celestia’s like yours!? This one was the one that got banished! She tried to frame her own sister!” I tried to dig my heels into the ground but had no luck.

“You have nothing to worry about. I nearly killed my Celestia and that was only because I stopped myself. Trust me, you’re in safe hands with me.”

“Knew I should’ve looked harder....” I muttered, pouting as I was dragged back into the dining room.

She pushed me in front of her, keeping her hidden for the moment as Celestia and Luna came into view. “Just apologize.”

Easy for you to say, you can just crush her with your powers. I ca-.... I’m a dumbass. I literally bought a gun only fifteen minutes ago. I hope I don’t have to use it here....

“See, ‘Tia? She came back to apologize,” Luna said as they spotted me. Celestia only growled in response.

“Um.... Y-yeah, I did. I’m sorry for putting wasabi sauce and rainbow in your coffee,” I said as I shifted from one foot to the other. “It was just a little prank in response to you walking away before I could apologize for using your shampoo....”

“See? Was that so hard?” Kat asked as she walked to my side and put her elbow up on… nothing?! “Everything is so much better when we all just get along.”

I stared at her for a second. I opened my mouth to say something and closed it, figuring that she was just using gravity as a plaything.

“Now there’s two of them! How long before we’re overrun with... whatever they are!? You should let me deal justice for this slight!” Celestia said, turning to Luna.

“Watch it, Celly,” Kat said darkly. “Keep acting like that and I will be a threat. I don’t take too kind to people abusing power and I especially won’t take that attitude from the pony who is supposed to be the example of pony-kind.”

“Like I said earlier: it’s not her that’s been running equestria for the past thousand years. Ponies are nocturnal now.” I said, trying to take a few steps back.

“Well then, I’ll talk to Luna and ignore little miss not-sunshine.” She turned her head towards Luna and smiled. “Hello Luna, how has your day been?”

“Don’t know yet, ‘Tia hasn’t raised the sun.” She replied, confusion and befuddlement evident on her usually serene face.

“Oh, well allow me.” Kat reached out her hand which glowed with a strange red and white energy. The moon slowly began to descend as the sun rose in the west. After another few moments, night had fully changed into day. “There, that’s better. A nice sunny day.”

The silence that pervaded was broken only by a cricket chirping. I noticed Celestia’s right eye twitch before she exploded into a blaze of fire and plasma and jumped towards us. Reacting just before I got scalded, I rewound time to when Kat was saying “Oh, well all-”

“Don’t, Kat. Don’t,” I interrupted.

She stared at me for a moment, then bopped me on the head. “Do not use time travel on me. It’s just rude.”

“Hey, it saved me from being burned alive didn’t it?” I glanced over at the princesses and whispered, “Now I have to rewind again thanks to you.”

She just rolled her eyes. “Can’t keep your powers secret forever. And the sooner you make nice with the princesses, the sooner you’re gonna be better off.”

I sighed, “Fine, I’d rather be put out like this than have them know I was the one who-” I closed my mouth, knowing it was too late to stop curiosity.

Luna finally asked the question after a minute of silence, “You were the one who did what?”

I kept my mouth shut, looking down at my shoes. Fucking lovely! Now I have to say it....

“What else have you done to insult my sister and I?” Celestia asked stalking forward a few steps.

I took a few more back myself. Shit.... I think this is getting into gun territory.... “Uh....” I felt my face become heated. “I-I was the one who took a magazine from that one guard’s stash and put it in your newspaper?”

Kat chuckled, trying to hide it with her hand. “That’s...pfft, that’s a good one! Ahahaha!! I… I need to remember that one, hahaha!!”

Celestia leaned back, her cheeks becoming a bit more pink as she glanced at Luna. Clearing her throat she said, “I-I had thought my sister had been behind that....”

I put on my best ‘wait, what’ face. So.... No punishment?

“Hoo, that’s rich,” Kat said as she wiped a tear from her eye. “I applaud you, Miss… huh, actually I never got your name.”

“Uh... it’s Max, Max Caulfield,” I said distractedly. Seriously, that’s it?

“Odd name, but who am I to talk, right? Nice to meet you, Max. I’m Kat Shifter, as you know, and they call me the Gravity Queen.”

Celestia coughed. “Well, I accept your apologies. Please, don’t do that again.” She looked away in embarrassment, her cheeks a brick red now.

.... Oh, if I didn’t want to stay alive or outside a stone statue I’d so use this to get her to read more of them with me. “Okay, um.... We’ll just be going then.” I said, cheeks still flushed with heat.

“Not so fast,” Kat said. “Let’s just stay here for a bit. You’re going to be seeing a lot of these two and they no doubt will be seeing a lot of you. It’s best they learn about the Displaced along with you.”

“I’m not Displaced, I watched someone disappear and went over to buy something from the merchant the guy had been standing in front of,” I said, rubbing the back of my head. “I... kinda jumped in myself.”

Kat facepalmed again. “Wow, you really are a crétin.”

“Well excuse me for wanting some adventure in my life!”

“And can you say it’s been worth it?”

I gave Kat my best ‘You serious?’ look while bringing out my camera. “I overpaid for my camera. The guy was asking only thirty bucks and I gave him a hundred.” I set it back into its spot in my bag. “I only wish I had bought more film from him.”

“So is that a no?” Kat asked, not really sure. “You don’t sound all that depressed about being here, despite no doubt becoming a stone statue like most of us.”

“I hope no one else was petrified for as dumb a reason as me.... But yeah, I paid what I thought the camera was worth and even though I was genderbent I still think it was a good deal.”

“You used to be a stallion?” Celestia asked suddenly.

I looked over at her and said, “Yeah, huge change going from having an outie to an innie.”

“T.M.I.,” Kat muttered. “You’re still a Displaced, though. A Displaced is a human who was sent to Equestria via a special object and granted powers. Yours being time reversal and mine being power over gravity. There’s thousands of us out there amongst the Multiverse, each one calling an Equestria home.Whether that’s a good or bad thing depends on the human.”

“I don’t just reverse time. I can make it leap forwards some, though it does play backwards if I don’t focus on a specific object.”

“That’s how that bouquet was dead the next morning!” Luna exclaimed. “I had put an enchantment on it to make it last years.”

“Interesting,” Kat said as she put a hand to her chin. “You’ve got some potential, I can tell. Might have a good future here. Well, if you don’t get burned by Sunny over there.” She pointed her thumb at Celestia.

Celestia’s blush returned in full force and her mane moved to cover her face.

I shook my head saying, “I don’t think that’ll be a problem anymore... especially if I-”

“Say one more word in that direction and you’ll find out how high the atmosphere reaches,” said Celestia.

“I already know,” Kat bragged. “I’ve actually been to space and beyond.”

Huh... she really did like the magazine. Hmmm.... I think I know what to do. Making sure that Celestia couldn’t see me behind her mane, I silently walked over to her and stood only a few inches away from where I thought her snout was and waited, a small, mischievous smile on my lips. After a few minutes of silence Celestia moved her mane out of the way to see what was going on. I pounced, my lips meeting hers before she could react. I could see the confusion in her eyes as she tried to pull away, opening her mouth a little to try to speak. I dove in, french kissing her until she slowly closed her eyes and gave a small sigh, returning the kiss.

When I pulled back a few minutes later, I saw that Luna’s jaw was literally through the floor. “You might want to get a stone-mason to get your jaw unstuck before a fly gets in there,” I said with an impish smile.

Kat was fanning herself with an old-style asian fan. “Holy merde, that’s hot.”

I giggled as Celestia, her brain having given up trying to make sense, stammered nonsense.

“It was spicy too~!” I flung an arm over Celestia’s shoulders, trying to be as cheeky as I could be.

“I approve of this ship,” she said with a nod. She pulled out a large card with a ten on it. “Ten out of ten, Kat Shifter approved.”

Celestia, having gotten her faculties back, teleported away without another word.

“Aw, she’s shy,” Kat said with a cute voice. “How cute.”

“Nah, I think she’s just going to get her riding crop and handcuffs out from under her old bed.”

“She has no such things!” Luna said, having freed herself from the floor.

I put my hand on my chin. “You’re right, unless she enchanted them they’ll be nothing more than dirt.... Maybe she’s buying more?”

Kat’s face burning red now. “I am so tempted to take you with me and have fun with you and my boyfriend.”

“Sorry, I’m a one-girl type of girl. Though I wouldn’t mind trading toys back and forth,” I said, pulling out the sponge. “I’d rather not be limited to this.”

“...that’s really not something you should be showing even when with friends,” Kat said, covering her deep red face. “It’s… just not. And you are surprisingly well adjusted to being a girl. Even Typhon has problems when he switches genders.”

“It’s not like it’s mine. I just... sorta shoved it into my bag after I took that one bath I can’t remember clearly. Besides, trying to survive in the Everfree took most of the fucks I had to give. I accepted my gender because I had no choice if I wanted to stay alive.”

“Aw, you’re first experience, that’s adorable,” she cooed.

“I had masturbated before then,” I huffed, my cheeks still red.

“But the first toy use is the most important,” she pointed out.

“Still doesn’t account for all twenty bottles,” I mumbled. Kat walked over to me and whispered into my ear, my cheeks burning by the time she was done. “I stand corrected....”

Luna cleared her throat, her cheeks black, “I think we should leave this conversation here for today.”

Kat giggled. “I think I like this world. Tell ya what, Max, anytime you need help or just want to chat, give me a call. I wouldn’t mind coming back a few times.” She leaned in and whispered into my ear, “And maybe I can get a little in return, hint hint.”

Ugh, why is she so cute!? I bit my lip. Fuck it, I’m listening to my body this time! I nodded tentatively. And then… she just had to make it worse.

“I might even bring Typhon along next time. We’ll get Celly involved… and put his cloning ability to good use.”

Cloning!? I thought, my eyebrows raising as my entire face turned red and something liquid travelled downwards from my nose.

“You’ll love it. And I can promise you,” she leaned even closer, her breath on my ear as she spoke with a sultry voice. “You’ll never be the same and always wanting more.”

With that, I fell over from too much blood rushing to my head, visions of being surrounded by hundreds of the same man floating through me.

Kat giggled. “Looks like someone’s getting excited for the future. But before I head off, what other totems do you have? I want to make sure you’re hanging out with the right crowd. Can’t let my future playmate get corrupted can I? That’ll be my job to corrupt you.”

After a few more minutes, I focused on what Kat said. “I’m leaving Pyramid Head and Alice alone. I have Typhon’s, Nemesis’, Samus Aran, Flynn, and The Fullmetal Alchemist’s. I have more but that’s what I can name off the top of my head,” I said.

“Hmm, there wouldn’t happen to be one of a Plumber’s badge, would there?”

“Um... yeah, I have three of them.”

“Does one of them say Ben 10?” she asked again.

I looked Kat straight in the eye, not saying anything for a few seconds. “Yeah, all three of them.”

Her eyebrow shot up. “Why do you have three of his totems? That’s just weird.”

I shrugged. “Must be different versions.”

“Uh huh… destroy them all,” she said with all seriousness.

“Destroy something I could use as money? Nope, not gonna destroy my money. I’ll put them apart from all the rest, though.”

“Alright, just never use them. My brother isn’t fond of helping other Displaced.”

I raised my eyebrow at that. “Since you know him, I’ll leave him be.”

“It’s just better that you don’t. Ben doesn’t help others and will basically just insult you the entire time for forcing him into another world. It’s just less of a headache. My brother just wants to be left alone.”

I nodded. “I’ll tell anyone I see not to mess with him.”

“Well, was there anything else you needed?”

Standing up I said, “Nope! But I’d like to snap a pic to commemorate my First Summon... or whatever you call it.”

“Sure,” Kat shrugged. “People tell me I’m very photogenic nowadays.”

Taking my camera out of my bag, I put an arm around Kat’s shoulders before turning the front towards us and snapping the photo. “Let’s see how it looks.”

I shook the picture a little then turned it so we both could see. “Aw... Luna photobombed us....”

“Is that the only thing you notice?” Kat said with a sly smile.

“Yeah, I felt you kiss my cheek when I pushed the button.”

“Well good, didn’t want my good work to go to waste. I suppose I’ll be seeing you later then, Maxie.” She gave me a seductive wink before opening a portal above herself. “Don’t have too much fun without me~.” She floated up through the portal and was gone.

“Now I won’t be able to sleep without some company, thanks to you,” Luna said as she walked away.

“Wait! I don’t have anywhere to sleep myself,” I said, turning to Luna.

“Yes you do. You’ll be sharing my sister’s rooms.”

Chapter 04: Being Serious and A Summons

Author's Notes:

Feels ahead. YE BE WARNED.

"Go Luna, I do not wish to speak of what happened," Celestia said as I entered her room. The room was huge; big enough to fit two large semis side-by-side and have enough room left over to fit a motorcycle on each side. For all its size, there was barely anything in it aside from a big four poster bed that would fit her and Luna easily, a wardrobe, and a bedside table with a lamp on it. There were two closed doors opposite of the bed and one directly across from the door to the hall that led out to a balcony. Not really showing Celly some love, are they?

She was standing on her balcony. How to explain this to her.... I walked over behind her and stood there in the doorway.

"I said I didn't want to talk about it," Celestia said as she turned around. Her eyes widened as her blush that had started to fade came back and her ears folded back. "Leave my rooms at once! I have forgiven you for what you had done, but I shall visit my-"

I pressed my lips to hers and wrapped my arms around her neck as she tried to pull back. She resisted for a moment or two more and then returned the kiss, pushing into my mouth with her tongue. We sat there kissing for who-cares-how-long before separating. When had she started crying?

"W-why? I turned you to stone and have done nothing but insult you."

I gave her a peck on the nose. "Why do I need a reason to be kind to a beautiful mare like you?" I gave her a sad smile. "You didn't see how Luna was after she had to banish you...."

Celestia wiped an eye and sniffled, "She said she had cried for years after."

I shook my head saying, "She yelled and screamed at me for hours every day for the first few weeks and then tried to.... I had to promise her that once I got out I'd try to mend things between us to get her to put down that cursed knife."

Celestia burst out in sobbs, trying to say something. In the end she threw her hooves around me and enveloped me in her wings. I stayed there, talking softly and trying to comfort her. Two or three hours later, she released me saying, "I-I had no idea how much love she had for me...."

I gave a small smile, "She won't be the only one if you'll let me."

Celestia gave me a hopeful look and leaned forwards stopping when her lips brushed mine. ".... Why-.... How do you love me already?"

I pulled back some, a frown making its way onto my mouth. "I don't." Before she could say anything I continued, "Not yet, but.... If you're willing to see where this can go, I'll make every effort to make it worthwhile."

She smiles and I lean forward meeting her lips once again. I'm the one to beak the kiss, this time with a smile. "Oh yeah, almost forgot. Luna didn't want to go through the trouble of getting a room ready for me so I'll be sharing with you!"

Celestia's cheeks turned red once more. "The one time she gets even a little devious...."

I give her horn a kiss near the base and feel her shudder in pleasure. "Nothing wrong with that." I let out a yawn. "Sorry, I've been staying awake at night to have some company to keep me from going insane."

"I'll let you sleep then," she said as she stood up, giving me one last long kiss before heading to the door. She giggled, "Make sure you don't use all the shampoo when you wake up."

"I'll use less than a bottle," I promise as I stepped over to Celestia's bed. Once the door closed I gave a sigh of relief. "Man, what a day," I said as I flopped onto the bed.

I know that happened but I still can't believe it did. She actually likes me now.... I smiled then bit my lip in uncertainty. And then there's Kat. Was she playing around when she offered that? There wasn't any sign of malice or scorn when she said that.... That I could see. I sighed and rolled onto my back, covering my eyes with an arm. So much happening so fast. Even if I tried rewinding I doubt I'd get used to it. Heh, here I am feeling like I've been pushed into the deep end like Max in the game.... I felt tears welling in my eyes and sat up, flinging my arm down hard enough to bring a thump from the bed. No. I'm not going to waste even a second feeling sorry for myself! That life is over and done. I lay back down and let sleep take me.

"If that's not for me, may you get me some?" I asked a maid as she carried a tray of food into the room. I had awoken to the smell of pancakes smothered in butter and maple syrup, eggs, hashbrowns, toast, and -- surprisingly -- bacon a few seconds before the door was opened.

I rubbed sleep from my eyes as she cantered over to the bed. "Yes, this is for you. Princess Luna said you might be tired after last day.," she said.

"Get back to me on that after I fully wake up," I said as I lowered my hands and took my first clear look at the maid. She was a fire red unicorn with a yellow and orange curly mane. Her cutie mark was of a fireplace with a merry little blaze in it. She was dressed in a classic black maid's outfit.

The mare giggled, "I hear ya; Waking up after having a fun day between the blankets is hard." She set the tray down on the bed. "I'll be outside the door if you need anything."

"Hey, photo girl! Wanna help me and my friends explore some dark underground ruins?" I hear from all around me as I start to dig in.... Was that someone summoning me? How do I accept it? Maybe I say something back?

I looked down at my breakfast and sighed. Looks like I won't be able to eat this. Standing up I saw something shining up from below me. Looking down I saw a portal that looked like a butterfly opening its wings -- if its wings were made of the fabric of space. I barely had enough time to think, Um.... this is not good, before I finally fell in.

Chapter 05: Dungeons and A Draconequus

Falling through the fabric of reality is... strange, to say the least. What's between universes or worlds reacts to your thoughts and feelings; reacts to your entire being. As I fell through, watching all the colors and patterns I had a thought, I wonder what time really is...

Information began flowing through my mind, all of it related to time itself. It took most of the trip through that place to sift through some of it, but what I could understand was that Time wasn't a person or a progression of events. It was an essential part of physics, it was a describer, it was what gave power to force, it gave speed its meaning, it gave gravity its pull.... And I could control it.

I don’t realize I’ve arrived until I crash feet first into the floor.

“Ah, we have our first displaced person!” Someone cheered from nearby.

“Oh shush Pecila. You summoned them without us saying anything,” Another nearby person muttered.

“I still can’t believe you summoned someone with a selfy as a token,” Another person grumbled.

“It was either that or a non-functioning camera,” I say as I look around. “Why is the door near the ceiling?”

The room I was in was made out of some sort of dark colored brick with lights placed in the floor and walls.

As I looked up I saw three beings. One looked like a messed up Discord, Another was a white haired chick with a huge watery looking scythe, and the last was a handsome-looking blonde man.

“You’re the one acting like Spider Girl right now.” The white haired young woman spoke up. Great, I'm on the roof.... At least they didn't summon me outside.

“To be fair you did summon someone who used a selfie as a token, Pecila, you should expect weird things,” The draconequus said with a snort.

“In fact, you should be use to weird things at this point,” The blond haired man said, placing a hand on his hip.

Huh, thought Displaced were one to a universe, I raised an eyebrow.

“Well I’m sorry that I happen to like weird things.” The scythe girl huffed as the puppy in her arms gave a sharp bark. Then she looked up. “So your Max? Neato~ I’m Pecila.”

“I’m Luke Nightshade, former human.” the draconequus said.

“Flynn Scifo. The puppy that Pecila holding is Repede,” said the blond man.

I snapped my fingers, “That’s where I remember that name from! You’re in Super Smash Bros. I got your token already.”

“No, that’s Robin, Though that would be awesome if I was.”

“So, You called me to help explore some ruins?” I ask as I pull out my submachine gun..

“Well, yeah.” Pecila replied with a shrug. “I mean, your token said you had time based powers so you could pull us out of any traps we come across.”

“...Is that a gun?” Luke asked, looking at the submachine gun.

“Where did you even-urgh. I feel like I might end up getting another headache if I question it,” Flynn groaned.

“Yup!” I say with a grin. “It’s a PDW-57 from Call of Duty Black Ops 2.”

“Well, she probably got it out from the same place I keep my bag.” Pecila poked Flynn on the cheek.

My smile falters as I gesture to the bag hanging over my shoulder, “You couldn’t see it?”

“See what?”

“My bag? It’s in plain sight. I’m not hiding it.” Wow. No wonder they called me.

“Some of us were a bit busy, staring at the gun you are currently holding,” Flynn huffed.

“Well, sorry. You are a bit high up and I was near sighted before… well, Comic-con.” Pecila rubbed her head a little as she put Repede down.

“Well, aside from the gun, lets figure out what to do next.” Luke said, seeing a nearby door and walking over to it.

“Yeah, and if we find stuff, I’ll go kidnap Twilight.” Pecila spoke up.

“Don’t kidnap Twilight. You already have a bad reputation,” Flynn groaned.

“Please don’t. She looked like she wanted to dissect and sanction my brain.” Luke said shivering slightly as he opened the door.

“Um.... How will I get through the door?” I asked.

“Climb up or down the wall? Depends on your perspective I guess,” Luke said walking into the room, which had various tables and safes around the walls and on the floor as far as I could tell.

“Why not try jumping and thinking about being on the ‘ceiling’?” Pecila asked as she followed Luke with Flynn and Repede. “Also, Luke is mine, not yours. Mine!”

What? Shaking my head I focus on my powers, trying to remember what I had learned about Time. Slowly I begin to see faint numbers and equations in the air and walls. Huh.... Is this part of my power? I thought as I studied them. A few minutes later I tried messing with one of the equations with my Time Control. It pulled me towards the door making me slam into the wall just above it. Ow.... I clambered up into the door frame and noticed that the number had changed back.

“Max, you okay back there?” Pecila called out, after pulling the drawer out, a lot of dust fall out.

What...? I study one of the numbers for a minute as it counts up, changing several others and setting those in motion once it stopped. Then it hit me: I was looking at a trap. I don’t want to make them panic and set off another.... Can I stop this one? Raising my hand, I try to touch one of the numbers with my powers, stopping it in its tracks. Neat.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just taking care of something.” I call out, remembering Pecila’s question.

“Alrighty then- Oh hey theres a gun over here!” Luke called out, holding up a blue revolver.

“Why is there a gun of all things here?” Flynn questioned, having stayed back to watch Pecila and Luke.

“It was part of the trap I just disabled,” I answered.

“Trap? You mean it’s cursed or something?” Pecila looked at the gun with some worry.

“If this is cursed I’m still keeping it,” Luke said aiming it at a lock on the vault after checking for rust.

“NO DON’T! That one’s trapped.” I shout.

“Ok Ackbar, sheesh.” Luke said aiming it at the next one and firing, only the gun didn’t fire a bullet it fired a bolt of magic “...Mine.”

“God, you’re making me wish I had come as Tiffany Ryu.” Pecila was staring at the gun.

“Because of her ability to make hammers appear out of nowhere?” Flynn asked, eying the gun with a wary look.

“That too.” Pecila replied.

Working quickly, I disabled the rest of the traps before they could be set off. “Okay, now there’s no more active traps.”

Luke carefully ‘reloaded’ the gun, and fired it again which released a lightning bolt “I like this gun, its a magic magnum that shoots magical elements~ It goes so well with my weird sword.”

“What was that?” Pecila looked back at Max.

“I disabled all the traps.” I said feeling a little strained.

“Cool. Thanks.” Pecila looked toward another door. “Though I am a bit worried that there might be other things like in the Dwemer Ruins in Skyrim. Clockwork soldiers.”

“You fool! You’ve jinxed us!” Luke hissed, frantically glancing around.

“Darn it, Pecila! Did my Rps with you teach you to never do that!?” Flynn barked.

“Well, at least we know what might be- ow!” Pecila was interrupted by Repede biting her ankle.

“Um.... From what I can guess there’s one in that vault.” I point at the vault Luke had tried to shoot. Everyone stared at the vault for a few minutes, waiting for something that wouldn’t happen. I crack a smug smile while their backs were turned.

“Erm… we should probably move on…“ Flynn said slowly, inching towards Pecila.

There was suddenly a loud screeching voice echoing through the ruins “Enolkovdav Pladadar uddaxudok! Roroukavk dho kikol karkaolk!*”

Pecila fell over, clutching her ears. Repede whined and placed his front paws over his ears.

My smile fled from my face. “Did not see that one,” I said as I loaded my gun.

Luke and Flynn were similarly covering their ears.

As everyone else was writhing on the ground, I got a full view of the mechanical spiders coming into the room through trapdoors in the ceiling and the next room.

They looked to be made out of stone but had six colored orbs floating around the center mass, all of the orbs being of different colors.

Shit, gonna have to protect them for now, I thought as I jumped onto the nearest one, shooting it as it tried to accommodate my weight on its back.

Luke groaned, standing back up because his ears were beginning to get used to the screeching voice “Bloody reptilian ears,” he grumbled.

Pecila sat up with a whine, taking out a key. “Imma destroy that speaker.”

“I swear I’m going to end up with a headache after this,” Flynn groaned before taking a second to look around.

I look up at the three just sitting there. “You know, there are things shooting at you.” I say as a spell whizzed past my ear. I dodge as several more fly through where I had just been.

“I know about them! I mean, they are kind of-” She was cut off as a blast of ice hit her in the foot. “-glowing...“

Flynn didn’t respond. He simply grabbed the hilt of his sword and pulled the blade from the sheathe. The male shifted his gaze the blast of ice came from. He muttered something and quickly stood in front of Repede as flames engulfed his sword.

Luke’s head was hit with a blast of fire, and he turned around, switching his gun to his right hand and pulling his sword out into his left “That was hot.”

Pecila roared out as the key started glowing. “Sigrun, I call upon you!”

A very big lady with huge katars appeared before rushing into the spider army, ice flying everywhere from her.

“I’m going to kill them all!” Pecila screamed, putting the key away and taking her big ass scythe off her back.

“Oi, save some for the rest of us!” Flynn barked at Pecila, grabbing Repede and placing the puppy in his bag.

Luke strode towards the one that kept hitting him with fire bolts “Would. You. STOP THAT?!” he shouted as he slashed his scimitar at the arachnid machine, cutting into its core, which caused it to explode in a large plume of fire, leaving a very irate draconequus behind.

With the ones on the floor focused on the three, I turned my focus -- and gun -- on the ten or eleven left on the ceiling with me. Okay, it doesn’t take a whole clip to bring them down, but it takes more than I would like.... Maybe shooting the orbs? I switch to single fire and get one in my crosshairs. For a second nothing happens after I shoot. Then the ball explodes into a bolt of lightning, setting off more in the group. “YES! Shoot the orbs, you’ll have a good time.”

“I know that. I happened to have one blow up in my face.” Luke said as he fired a few normal magic bolts out of the gun at a few of the constructs, one shot hitting the core of the one who shot Pecila’s foot, which made it blow up and freeze nearby mechs.

“It wasn’t that obvious?” Flynn cocked a brow. The male was swinging his sword in the direction of the spiders. As he swung his sword, flames erupted from the weapon and morphed into fireballs. The male lips move as he fired the fireballs in the direction of the orbs, whispering what sounded like ‘Hell Pyre’.

“Soul Bullet!” Pecila cried out as she sliced through a few spiders, just for a few orbs of darkness to pop off and smash into some others.

The remaining spiders on the ceiling spread out trying to circle me. I charged, firing at the two on my left taking them both out with the same blast. “Yeah! Forget advanced warfare; this is ceiling warfare.” I turn just in time to catch an Ice bolt with my left shoulder.

The woman that Pecila summoned, Sigrun, jumped to the ceiling, slashing through a few spiders.

“Thanks.” I say as I clip an orb on one of the last three, sending them into oblivion, with Sigrun finishing the last ones.

Luke walked over to a ground level door that some spiders came out of “Well, I highly doubt theres anything ‘valuable’ left in this room, so I’m going to follow this path and see where it leads me.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea. We mi-nope. Not jinxing it,” Flynn said as Repede poked his head out of his bag and barked.

“I hope we find an Enderman.” Pecila spoke up, putting her scythe back as Sigrun floated back to the ground. Pecila was then smacked on the back of the head by Flynn.

“Smart man Flynn, smart man.” Luke said, pointedly ignoring Pecila’s minecraft reference as he walked down the tunnel.

“Anyone know healing magic?” I call down.

“I might,” Flynn answered. He didn’t seem too sure about that. “Pecila sure doesn’t.”

“.... I’ll take my chances with the ice, then.” I say jumping into the hall.

Flynn shrugs before following Luke, placing his sword back in its sheathe. Pecila huffed in anger, following Luke.

Author's Notes:

Yup! a two parter. It took a few days more than I thought it would but that might just be because of how fast I had been getting the chapters out.

If you want the translation you'll have to read the other side of this crossover.

This Crossover brought to you in part by: Aura Blades by Dragon209816, Lunar Impact, and Flynn's author (don't know his/her name or if they have an account on here).

Chapter 06: Jokes and a Cat

“Owww… Guys be careful, theres a random oiled section!” I heard Luke say from down the hall a few minutes later.

I smirk and mutter, “Giggity.”

Flynn was quietly snickering.

Pecila smacked Max on the back of the head. “No. No talk of sex around the children.”

“I HEARD THAT AND I’M NO CHILD!” Luke shouted down the hallway.

I rubbed the back of my head. ”If I was going to, I would’ve said I want Flynn’s d-” I was interrupted by another smack.

“Excuse me!” Flynn’s face immediately turned red at what Max said.

“I was talking about Repede, not you!” Pecila yelled back before hitting Max again.

“Awoo?” Repede tilted his head in confusion.

“And leave Flynn alone, she’s had enough to worry about over the past thousand years!”

I look back at Flynn, interest evident on my face. “So you’ve had your gender swapped as well?”

“As well?” Flynn look to Max, still blushing.

“Yeah, I used to be a guy.” I gave him my best bedroom eyes, “Looks like we’re-”

Pecila grabbed Max and pushed her away. “No. Don’t hit on my friend.”

Flynn was about as red as a tomato and was actually left speechless. He opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, unsure on how to respond.

I scoffed, “Fine, I’ll leave your studs alone.”

“They are not ‘studs’, they are human freaking beings you sexist ass!” Pecila snapped.

“Okay. But you haven’t denied that they’re yours~!”

Luke had stopped at an open doorway, and looked to the group when he heard Max say that “...Oh god why.”

“... Before you leave, I will hurt you.” Pecila spoke up. “I don’t care if it’s physically or mentally, I will hurt you.”

“OKAY. Now before Max decides to say ‘kinky’ lets go explore this new room!” Luke said as he sprinted into it.

Flynn gave a small noise, following Luke at a rather slow pace. The male looked confused, shocked and a bit distress. Repede whined at this, worried that his owner might be broken.

Pecila hugged Flynn, rubbing his back. “It will be okay. The mean lady won’t touch you while I’m around to kick her ass.”

I rolled my eyes. “I wasn’t going to unless he asked me to,” I said as I jumped to the ceiling again.

Pecila just looked up to glare at me.

Luke waited for the others to catch up to him, mainly because there was a robotic arm holding him in the air by his tail “...So, anyone care to help?”

Flynn moved in the direction Luke was in after hugging Pecila. He moved to where he heard Luke’s voice before stopping when he saw the male. “.....How?”

I slowly reloaded my gun, being careful not to agitate my wound.

“Don’t ask me, because I seriously don’t know. I also don’t know why my bag is defying gravity either.” Luke said gesturing to the upside-down bag which didn’t seem to have anything falling out of it.

I aimed carefully, “Try to get him to hold you up higher, I can almost-”

Sigrun just rushed in and slashed at the arm, damaging it. “Or we could do that.” Sigrun remarked.

Luke fell when the arm released his tail and landed on his face “Why does everything cause me pain?”

“Cause the world hates you?” Flynn asked.

I opened up on the robot’s face, tearing through the metal and clay in a shower of bullets.

Sigrun grabbed Luke and jumped away. “Stay back.”

Once the clip was empty I reloaded again and trained my sights on it once again, holding my fire. “Man, fifty bullets and it still isn’t down?”

“Thats because you’re shooting a decoration.” Luke said as he pointed at where it was on the wall.

“.... I knew that.” I said as I looked anywhere but up.

“Sure ya’ did.” Luke said as he dusted himself off.

Sigrun facepalmed. Flynn shook his head slightly.

Pecila put her finger to her lips, trying to listen.

Thump thump thump-

“Footsteps?” Pecila questioned.

I turned to our right, kneeling down as I did so. “I hear them too....”

Pecila put a hand on her scythe, tensing up.

Something appeared in the doorway no one had been in. It appeared to be human but it was covered in thick golem-ish armor. It was also dragging a huge stone sword.

“...What is this? Skyrim?” Luke asked as he drew his sword and revolver again.

“I’ll distract it! You guys try to destroy it,” I said as I started to shoot.

“At this point, it could very well be,” Flynn replied, pulling out his sword.

My bullets did nothing more than bounce off.

“Lets see... thick armor, large sword, bipedal machine… Aim for the knee joints to stop movement and aim for the wrists to prevent it from using its weapon.” Luke said, shooting a few Ice Bolts out of the revolver at the machine’s wrists “Man I love this thing!”

“Yeah. I’m just going to focus on the knee joints. Last thing I want to worry about is that thing dropping its sword,” Flynn muttered slightly before closing his eyes. He didn’t make any more to attack the being.

I focused my fire on the thing’s head and neck, making it lift an arm to try to protect itself. “This feels like Shadow of the Colossus to me.” I said as I reloaded.

The humanoid groaned as the attacks hit it before it started lifting the sword, cracks appearing on it.

“Really? You’re not getting the Dwemer Ruins vibe from this place?” Luke asked with a raised brow.

“I am, I just- Whoa!” I’m interrupted by the giant sword carving a line straight towards me. I’m not fast enough and cry out in pain as my leg gets shortened about seven inches.

“Holy hell! Your leg! The hell are we going to fix that?!” Luke shouted, jumping out of the way of the blade.

Pecila redirected the blade with her scythe, gabbing a key with her free hand. “Kotonoha, I call upon you! Heal Max!” Sigrun disappeared, only to be replace by a very foxy lady.

The floating fox lady went to Max, grabbing the cut off limb and using her magic to reattach it. “That will be 200 gold coins~”

“....O divine spear..” Flynn said quietly, having quickly moved to avoid the blade. What looked like a glyph formed underneath the creature. Spears composed of what looks like light appeared above the blond.

“Thanks, though I don’t have any money,” I say as I stand back up.

“Well it’s good thing it’s not ObamaCare isn’t it Max?” Luke asked with a slight snort, firing another Ice Bolt at the cracks on the chestplate, hitting it and having ice form in the cracks, expanding as it was created.

The humanoid suddenly roared out, like it was in pain.

“That doesn’t sound like a construct. That sounds a LOT like a living creature.” Luke said as he strode forward and slammed the blunt part of his scimitar against the chestplate as hard as he could.

It got knocked back, the chestplate breaking off to reveal sparkling dark red fur.

“... We made a mistake, didn’t we?” I said as I saw the fur.

“Mainly you. That chestplate was made of granite, you’re lucky your bullets didn’t penetrate it. I listed ways to stop it if it was a construct, not lethal ways.” Luke said as he walked over to the furred creature, pulling the helmet off to reveal a cat-like head and face with a bit of fear showing in it’s wide eyes.

“I know what my bullets can and can’t get through. I knew I wouldn’t be more than annoying.”

“...” Flynn suddenly frowned before the magical glyph underneath the creature vanished. The male turned away from the others and placed his sword in his sheathe.

“Guys, we should probably still get the sword away from him or her.” Pecila pointed out. “I mean, what if she attacks in fear.”

“Going out on a limb and saying that, also visual guess here, that SHE retaliated because she was attacked first,” Luke said, gesturing to the female “Though you’re right about the sword…” Luke said as he bent down to pick it up.

Yet again, Flynn didn’t respond. He simply listened to the others in silence.

Pecila cautiously walked over to Flynn. “We’ll talk about later, ‘kay?”

Yet again, Flynn didn’t respond. He simply glared in the direction of the wall, grumbling something about a wasted arte.

Pecila rubbed Flynn’s back. Flynn, however, moved away.

“Why don’t we try talking to her?” I asked.

“Jesus… Christ… This is a damn heavy sword…!” Luke grunted as he picked it up and dragged it away, dropped it, and returned to the female with a sigh “Fair point Max.” He crouched down in front of her “If you can understand me nod once”

The cat blinked before one of it’s paws started glowing.

Luke groaned and stood, backing up a bit, “I’m going to assume you understand me but just don’t like us or trust us?”

There was a flash throughout the chamber. “Working now?” The cat asked in scratchy English.

“Yes, it is. So, uh, sorry for attacking you without much reason.” Luke said to the cat, glaring at Max a tiny bit.

I gave a sheepish smile, “Yeah, sorry about that.... Everything else had tried to kill us, so I just assumed you would as well.“

“So far the only things that tried to kill us were mechanical spiders with elemental cores. The robotic arm had just picked me up by my tail for some reason,” Luke said with a slight frown.

“Kinda weird since dungeons like this usually have more enemies.” Pecila muttered.

“You’ve jinxed us again. Thanks for that,” Luke said with a slight groan as he looked back to the cat “So, I doubt that you’re living here, and that there’s a reason for you to be here.”

“Yes, there was reason.” The cat said in scratchy English. “Disease on surface. Many dead.”

I jump and smack Pecila on the back of her head. “Seriously need to stop that.” I land and say, ”You just invited Murphy and his law in.”

“No, No, you’ve got it wrong, Murphy IS the law in this world, Max.” Luke said with a groan.

“I wondered where his book had gone.”

Pecila rubbed her own head. “I was just pointing something out.”

“What did the disease do?” Flynn replied, ignoring the other three as he look to the cat. “And you came here to avoid the disease?”

“Not only one. Others came. Scientists and Civilians.” The cat replied. “Disease cause death and insanity.”

“Oh, so you’re not alone?” Flynn questioned.

“Not when asleep. My pod only one safe.” The cat looked to the floor.

Luke looked to the cat with sorrow in his eyes “...Thats terrible, where did the disease come from?”

“No cat knows. Just appeared. No affect Dogs. Only cats affected.”

“I’m sorry for disturbing this place, none of us knew what it really was, but to make up for what we’ve done, would you like to come with us?” Luke asked, looking to the cat.

“No. Must find others. Must be alone.”

“But why must you be alone? Surely having people help you would be a great boon in your search,” Luke said as he sat in front of her.

“Maybe because of the fact she doesn’t exactly trust you,” Flynn muttered under his breath as Repede poke his head out of his bag.

“Or there’s secrets she wants to hide.” Pecila pointed out.

“I still say it’s more so my reason,” Flynn grumbled slightly.

“We no trust outsiders.” the cat said, standing up.

Luke’s ear twitched when Flynn had said that, showing he had heard what Flynn had said “Any particular reason why?”

“Either way, this is starting to get above my paygrade,” I said as I put away my gun.

“Bye, Max.” Pecila waved to her. “The contract is fulfilled. You can leave.”

Flynn simply just muttered something to himself, returning his gaze to the wall.

I waved as I sank into my portal.

Luke stood from sitting in front of the cat and turned to Max “Goodbye Max, may you be free from the laws of Murphy~”

I called out just before the portal closed, “Make sure Pecila isn’t too rough in bed you two~!”

“What the hell?!” Luke shouted.

“Damn it!” Flynn growled.

“I WILL MURDER HER!” I heard Pecila say as the cat's laughter followed me.

Author's Notes:

Yep, had to do that innuendo. Just had to.

Posting now because I haven't heard that I couldn't yet. I'll still try to do one chapter a day, but no promises on that.

Chapter 07: Dreams and Summons

"What is it with the landings?" I asked as I rubbed my head. I had just exited my portal back in Celestia's room. Upside down.

"Max?" I hear from behind me before I'm tackled and swallowed in an embrace of pink feathers and hooves. "I thought you had left for good!"

"N-no, I just got summoned. May you please let me breathe again?"

Celestia quickly let go of me and, turning me to face her, said, "You were summoned? And what was that portal you came out of?"

She's been crying? I think when I catch sight of her tear-stained face. "How long was I... not here?"

She hugged me again and said, "Nopony could find you for an entire week. I... I thought-"

I interrupt her and return the hug. "No, there's no way I'll just up and leave for no reason. If I had had time I would've told you or at least left a note. I had no idea I'd be summoned then."

She huffed and broke the embrace, "Again with the 'summoning'! What is that anyways?"

"You know Kat? The other being that looked like me? She's from a different Equestria. I don't know the details, but there are more out there among the multi-verse that have been taken from their universes and put into another. These... Displaced can send out tokens to others that can summon them to another universe so they can help with something. That's what happened to me; I was summoned to a different universe to help someone."

"So you helped another of your kind for an entire week?"

"No, it was an hour maybe two at the most that I was there. I think universes have their own separate time-lines that progress at different rates."

"Then please, don't accept the summons. I don't want this to happen again.... I don't want..." She leaned in and gave me a kiss before whispering, "I don't want you to be gone for months or years at a time."

"I don't have a choice. I sent my token and if someone summons me I have to go. I'll try my best to make the time I'm gone less, but I have no choice in when or who summons me."

"Then promise me-- promise me you'll always return. I-I-...." Tears built in her eyes again.

I pulled her close and met her lips. I didn't know I meant so much to her.... I pulled my lips away and said, "There's nothing that will keep me in another universe. Not friends, not family.... You and this universe are what I'll call home now."

Elsewhere

The stallion was led into a room and thrown to the floor, the wounds where his wings had been bleeding and exploding into pain once more. He had been tourtured, that much was evident by the clipped ears and gouged out eyes. Even his fangs had been painfully ripped from his mouth. "C-commander Steel Wall, L-lunar Guard, regiment f-fourty-two." He had been repeating that for what felt like nights, never giving his captors more.

He was the one in charge of Princess Celestia's security, and he would not let Her Majesty's sister be taken by these pegasi. Even if it cost him his life, he would not let his resolve or his will falter. He chuckled darkly, "You think I'll give you what you want, you must be insane."

"we'll ask only one last time: How can that human pull things out from nowhere? How can it make more appear?" A rough voice asked. It belonged to a stallion that was famous... fifteen hundred years ago. Steel Wall had seen the stallion once and knew who he was from the books and stories. Steel Wall was Commander Hurricane's prisoner.

"Comander Steel Wall, Lunar Guard-"

I awoke in a cold sweat, panting and shaking. What was that? That didn't feel like a dream. I could actually feel his pain.... I looked to my right at Celestia, thankful I didn't wake her. I smiled, remembering the spell she cast on herself. I don't want to wake her after how vigorous we went at it, especially with something like this.

A knock on the door made me get up, still a little sore. When I opened the door I saw a thestral standing there, his ears perked and nostrils twitching, a blush forming on his cheeks. "Yes?" I asked.

He cleared his throat and said, "I am Steel Wall, I have been entrusted with Celestia's -- and by extent, your -- safety."

My eyebrows shot up when he said his name. He's the one that's going to be kidnapped! I have to try to stop it. ...But how? I don't know if what I saw is happening or if he's been replaced or even if it's going to happen.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Commander Steel. I'm afraid Celestia's still recovering from earlier," I said as I stepped out into the hall.

Steel Wall's blush increased in intensity and spread to the other two guards standing outside the door. "I-indeed.... I came by to inquire as to if there's anyp-pony in particular you would want to protect the two of you."

Why-.... Didn't think about them smelling what we did. Oh well, this'll be interesting~! I made sure all three of them noticed where my eyes went before saying, "You'll have to ask Celestia when she wakes up, but I wouldn't mind you being one of them."

"Very well then, I shall ask her after her breakfast." He said as he trotted away.

"One last thing," I waited until he stopped and turned his head. "I would hope that any guards be informal around us in the future and that they only do as we ask if they wish to."

Steel blushed a little harder at that and simply nodded before turning back and actually galloping away. I giggled a bit and turned to the others, "I am still a little... rowdy it seems. Would one of you be willing to help me with that?"

"There's a room that's just been made down the hall. Nothing's been said about it being used though," The one to the right of the door said.

I smiled and said, "Then why don't we see if it is being used?"

Chapter 08: Getting Caught and Trading

"Ah... Max.... I had thought you were with...." Luna said as I walked into the hallway, the guard following right behind me. "Nightwing? What are you tw-" Her face darkens when she smells us.

"Before you ask; no, I'm not cheating on Celly. We agreed that we could sleep with others," I said in explanation.

The guard -- Nightwing apparently -- hung his head, ears folding back.

Luna opened her mouth then seemed to rethink and closed it. Finally she said, "I understand that Celestia wants you to consider expanding your herd, but please... refrain from taking lovers from my harem. I'll excuse it this once."

I gave her a confused look for a moment before realizing, "Oh, I get it." I chuckled. "If I had known that I wouldn't have teased Steel Wall."

Luna's cheeks darkened more. "My harem is not the entirety of the Lunar Guard!"

"Ah, okay! I'll tell Steel to get ponies who aren't in your harem to guard Celly and I." I said as I walked to Celestia's door. "I'll go wake Celestia up so we can take a shower."

"Very well. Shall I expect you in the dining room in an hour?" Luna said, an almost imperceptible quiver in her voice.

"Better make that two, she might want to use that one spell while we're in there." I said after a small pause.

Before she could say anything more I closed the door and leaned against it.

"I haven't planned for that scenario. Hell, I didn't even know it was a possibility." I paced in front of the door. "It might be a surprise for Celly if I ask Luna to join us.... I'll have to be careful with my approach; one wrong move and it'll go wrong in so many ways it's not even funny."

I looked over at the alicorn sleeping in the bed, a blanket barely covering her lower half, revealing that the spell she cast was still active. I smile and say as I walk over to the bed, "At least she won't need coffee this morning.~"

I toss the blanket the rest of the way off her and give her member a long lick. I leave a trail of kisses up her stomach and chest before giving her a long, togue-filled kiss. By the time I pulled away Celestia was grinding her half-hard dick against me. "I'll be in the shower if you want to continue this," I giggle as Celestia gave a soft moan.

I give her one last kiss before slowly walking to the bathroom, swinging my hips as I did so. I smirked as I heard a scramble of hooves once I turned on the water.

"Hey, you're the one that sold me my camera!" I exclaimed as a moogle jumped out the door of a beat-up RV.

I had been trying to find the guard's training grounds when I got lost in a hedge maze. After some stumbling around I came across a peculiar sight. A beat-up RV that looked like it was held together with duct tape, fencing wire, and some sort of clear-looking liquid driving out of a portal.

"Yup! I'm Nono," The moogle said. "Ole Merchy told me you paid twice what I said he could sell things for, kupo-po."

"And that's a problem because...?"

Nono stamps her foot on the ground. "It's a problem because you don't know how much power is in even one of those, kupo-po! Those tokens are worth more than a single universe; more powerful than all the energy in one! Used right, they can give even me a huge boost of power that's permanent. If I just take the five hundred and seventy-nine that are left over from giving you that knowledge, I'll be endebted to you until every last universe is destroyed, kupo."

I open my mouth but get interrupted. "No! I won't let you swindle yourself. You'll either take them back or tell me what you would like as compensation, kupo."

"... Fine. I'll take a life-time supply of film, a hundred million bits, and a laser rifle from Fallout New Vegas with all the attatchments you can get in the game and infinite ammo for it," I said.

"Very well, that will leave you with five hundred fifty tokens," Nono said as she pulled the items out of a compartment on the side of the RV.

I don't thi- ... I might want to get some of those. Blushing, I said, "Um.... Would I be able to get a life-time supply of tampons?"

"Yes, those'll be only four tokens."

I guess I'll get something useless as well, then. "How about two M1A1 Abrams that are as tall as my knee with infinite ammo, two laser cannons on iether side of the turret facing the same way as the main gun, a battery of missiles -- vertical launch coming out of the top of the turret -- in the turret near the middle, and they are controlled by two separate AI that see me as their commander. They'll need to be able to repair themselves, and have a hangar for a drone in the front right between the tracks. And a sensor mast or two with every kind of sensor there is."

Nono raised an eyebrow. "So miniature bolos, but with less guns?"

"Yeah, and if you could make them amphibious and give them some torpedoes and depth charges.... I know! How about making them twin AIs and have them specialized to cover each other's weaknesses with something like TSDS?"

"Trying to make sure these are the last things you buy for now?"

"You know it. I don't really need anything I don't already have, so I'm gonna go overboard on these; make sure they're almost impossible to stop without me giving the order."

The Moogle crossed her arms, "Okay, that'll come to two sixty-seven each. Sure you don't want to add something else?"

I thought a moment and said, "Yeah, an Overdrive function. Can't have a custom tank with out something to make it that much dangerous. And a way for them to go around without having to move their hulls, can't forget that."

Nono frowned and said, "That'll put you over by three."

I pulled out the three Plumber's Badges. "No worries, I was going to give you these three so you could give them to The Merchant."

"Why's that?"

"I don't want these three at all, but I didn't want to just destroy them."

As soon as they left my hand they disappeared and there was a flash from my right. Looking over, I saw the two tanks. One had a very light yellow paint job with white and gold trimming, the other had a midnight blue base with black and deep purple highlights.

"These are Zenith Sol and Zenith Mun. I'll be back in two year's time to you and Merchy'll be back in a year," Nono said as she stepped into her RV and closed the door.

Waving at the RV I said to the tanks, "Okay, I'm going to assume you know what's going on-" I was inturrupted by a fist sized ball of crystal slamming into my stomach from a portal.

While I was doubled over, trying to catch my breath I heard a voice, "Let those who value the freedom of all sentient life and the beauty of nature call upon the name of Medulla in your hour of need and I will lend aid.... Or if you want to hang out or whatever, that's cool too."

"SERIOUSLY?!" I shout when I catch my breath. I look at the ball, noticing that it's basically a grey-tinted cat's eye marble with the 'iris' being deep purple and blue. "WHO THE HELL IS THIS 'MEDULLA' CHARACTER?"

I stuffed it into my bag anyways, grumbling about the treatment.

"Yes, we've been briefed," an amused, feminine voice said.

"Please, don't laugh at our commander's pain," a male voice said, amusement evident in his tone.

"You aren't any better, Mun."

Standing back up and dusting myself off I said, "It's funny even after someone gets hurt. If it happened to someone else I would've laughed at it. You want to laugh at something that happens to me, go for it; I'd most likely laugh at it myself. Anyways, how about we sit and talk a little?"

"Okay, what would you like to know?" they said at the same time. ... Fuck, is that going to be a thing with them?

Author's Notes:

Kept forgetting to save this when I closed the tab and lost a lot of progress each time. I finally took off the escape button on the keyboard I have hooked up to my Xbox so I don't hit it AND DELETE ALL MY WRITING. Anyways, Max gets a visit from her benefactor and buys two tanks!

Chapter 09: Rainbow Manes

"Can you hear that?" I asked Sol as we walked through one of the relatively unfrequented parks on the mountain side of Canterlot. I had caught the faint sound of a crying foal as we passed by an opening half the size of a fully grown pony in the side of the cliff we had been walking next to.

Mun and Sol had each recieved a Thestral avatar -- anatomically correct -- with their color schemes already in the manes and coats from Nono a few weeks after I bought them. They had adjusted to their new bodies (which were basically bio-tech that was compatable with their interfaces) and the feelings and needs over the last few months and had proven to be addicted to pranks and all around good fun.

"Barely," She replied. "And here I thought you were basically deaf."

"Selective hearing," I shot over my shoulder as I turned towards the opening and crawled in. The passage immediately opened into a bigger tunnel that you could drive a wagon in with plenty of room on either side to fit a fully armored Earth Pony.

"Same diff," Sol said back once she was standing beside me in the cave. "I don't need to point out where the crying's coming from, do I?"

"Nah, seems straight forward enough that even you would be able to find your way through," I joked back with a smirk as I started forward through the dark, pulling out a flashlight I had bought and turning it on.

"Once! Only once I got lost on the way to the bathroom because Mun deleted all my data on the castle," She huffed, folowing closely.

"You walked into an over-stuffed closet and ended up covered in tree sap someho-," I stopped as we entered a cavern, the grisly sight I was greeted with shattering my mirth. Strewn about the floor were bodies in different stages of decay. All of them had feathered wings. All of them were foals. And most had rainbow colored manes.

I was so shocked I didn't even notice I had dropped my flashlight and put my hands over my mouth.

"What kind of sick, twisted bastard would even think of doing this to even a single child," I managed to get out. I looked over to where the crying was coming from and saw a cyan coated filly barely six months old tied to a stalagmite with a coarse rope that had dried blood on it around her neck and even more blood stains running down her chest and face. Her wings had been cruelly plucked, leaving more stains on her coat.

When she caught sight of Sol, she shied away and tried to crawl behind the stalagmite. As she did so I saw that somep-... absolute monster had tried to use her before leaving her to die.

I rushed over and scooped her up, petting her mane and making soothing sounds. Slowly, the filly relaxed and stopped trying to squirm out of my gentle, yet firm grip.

A while later, she fell asleep to me humming and rocking her. Only then did I take out a small knife and cut the rope off of the filly.

"What will we do about the rest of them?" Sol finally asked.

"We bring Luna and Celestia here and try to find a way to track the fucking heartless asshole bastard-monsters that did this," I said coldly as I stood and turned to the entrance. "Then I'm going to kill them. Slowly.... Painfully. I think being covered with honey and staked out over a huge ant hill would be apropriate."

".... Why not termites, instead?" she asked.

"You wanna explain how they got in the castle grounds?"

"Good point."

Walking into the medical wing of the castle an hour later, I aproached the nearest doctor.

"Another training session gone wrong, Maxine?" he asked. He was an Earth pony that had a brown-ish orange coat with a teal mane and tail and emerald eyes behind a pair of small glasses. His cutie mark was a mortar and pestle.

"Worse, Remedy," I said as he turned to look at me.

"Dear Luna! what happened to the filly?" Home Remedy exclaimed as he took the foal from my arms.

My jaw tightened as I thought of the cave. "Don't know, but she was in a cave with at least eight others that were dead."

"We'll take care of her and get her back to good health," he said as he gently placed the foal on her stomach on a bed.

A few hours later Celestia cantered in, a worried look on her face. "Mun said I'd find you here."

"Ants are too good for them," I said. I was sitting in a chair cradling the abused filly to my chest.

"Oh, Poor thing! What happened to her?" Celestia gasped as she took in the casts and bandages.

"Two broken legs, fifteen ribs broken, the rest cracked, a fracture in her skull, multiple bruises, and her uterus was torn apart by something's dick. Not to mention what that rope did to her neck and being dehydrated and half-starved to death," I said, tears filling my eyes. "The worst p-part is that the doctors don't kn-know how to t-t-tell who's child she i-is."

I don't know how long I sat there crying but Celestia had come over and enveloped both the filly and I in her wings and hooves, trying to comfort me. "I'll find the bastards that would do this to a foal and I'll make their deaths stretch out for weeks," I said finally.

"And what about her? Are you just going to give her to someone else?" Celestia asked.

"No.... Never." I pulled the filly closer. "I don't care what my public image is, I'm taking care of her."

"She'll need a name, then." The pink mare said.

I don't care what this changes, I have to give her this name because of her colors. "Rainbow Dash."

Author's Notes:

Being eaten alive by fire ants: the worst torture Native Indians came up with in my opinion.

I promised Rainbow would be in here. Not what you expected, isn't it?

Chapter 10: Fillies, Bugs, And Kidnappings OH MYYYY~!

"For the last time; we didn't order a giant trampoline," The guard at the gate said to a delivery pony.

I had just gotten back to the castle after a night of shopping, having gathered everything I thought I would need to raise Rainbow. Ironically, that included a trampoline.

"You could have said that before I unloaded it," the delivery pony said. "Somepony ordered one and said to have it brought here."

"Thank you, guardspony, I think I can take it from here," I said as I passed the two stallions, interrupting the guard as he tried to say something else. "Just take it to the clearing with an apple tree in it in the maze, if there's anything to sign, just ask a guard where I am."

I opened the main doors of the castle to a scene of chaos that would make Discord proud. Guards were running about, pulling down drapes and tapestries. A few were even pulling plants out of flower pots and looking inside while Celestia and Luna directed them, almost literally turning the castle upside down trying to find something.

I walked up behind the two princesses and said, "Aw, look at that. I didn't know I meant that much to you two~."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look at me.

"IlostRainbowDashpleasedon'tleaveme!" Celestia exclaimed as she threw herself to the floor at my feet.

From this angle I could clearly see there was something stuck in her mane, something that had blue feathers. I chuckled as I knelt down and moved some of the almost ethereal mane out of the way, revealing Rainbow sleeping soundly with a pair of earmuffs over her ears. I pulled her out, taking care not to wake her. "You were trying to play hide and seek with her?" I asked humorously.

Celestia spluttered incoherently, staring at the filly in my arms as I walked toward a side hallway.

A few minutes later I was tucking Rainbow into her new crib, making sure she would stay asleep until noon, when Cadence trotted in looking more than a little alarmed.

"Ma-" Cadence started.

"Shh! Rainbow's asleep," I whispered. I led her out and closed the door, still talking quietly. "Now what is this about?"

Lowering her voice to my level she said, "There's something wrong with at least half the guards in the castle. I can't see any of their connections."

.... I'm not going to try to guess what she means there, I think. Wait, so this universe is still trying to follow the show? That means- But if I try to interfere with this- Well, no. It's Cadence and Shining that save the day here. But it's only possible through Twilight's actions. Maybe I can skip all this and talk Chrysalis into accepting an alliance?

With that in mind I ask, "Can you take me to one of them?"

She pointed to one that had been trying to sneak up on me, forcing... him? her? to leap only to be caught by the throat. "So, care to take us to your queen?"

"For what? So you can finish off our race?" the changeling said as he dropped his disguise, though he still wore the armor.

I shifted my grip so it wouldn't cut off his air. "Quite the opposite, actually."

"You know what this thing is?" Cadence asked, looking like she wanted to run instead.

"Yes, though I'd rather they tell you themselves."

The changeling gave me a suspicious look. "Do what you will to me, you aren't going to squeeze any information out of me," he said.

I gave him my best 'are you serious?' look and said, "I'm not going to torture you. I'm just going to ask nicely if you would take us to... Queen Chrysalis."

His dumbfounded expression was mirrored by Cadence's -- though to a much lower degree. Once he got over his shock, though, he looked thoughtful. I could almost smell the gears in his head grinding and sparking. "I-... I need to talk to My Queen before you are sent for," he said at last.

"Well well well, the ones who are trying to ruin our plans," Chrysalis said as Cadence and I walked into a disused war room.

It was the night after we had caught that changeling and let him go. I had decided to bring Rainbow along, so the queen would think she was in the clear position of power. If she was nothing more than a brainless oaf who believed that she was the most powerful in the room.

Time to employ what I learned through the years. "And yet, the shield stays down, the guards aren't alerted, and the Princesses are calm in their assurance that nothing would go wrong with this wedding," I said, keeping a cool expression on my face. "We merely wish to try peace before things break down."

Chrysalis was clearly not impressed with my short speech. "And what of the Pegasi? Where was their peace offering?"

"They had more than enough chances to accept peace," Cadence burst out.

I shot her an irritated look before turning back to the queen, "Please forgive her, she was born less than a century ago and is ignorant to what happened like the rest of the world now-a-days.

"But I must say her words do ring true, in a sense. They weren't forced to change their lifestyle, nor were they forced to betray the pact between the Tribes. Pegasi chose their lot and made their bed themselves." I said as I tickled Rainbow's belly. "Just like you aren't forced to prey on ponies."

"Not forced?" Chrysalis scoffed, flying over to sneer in my face. "Who was it that forced changelings to hide? Who was it that killed every other hive? WHO HUNTED DOWN AND SLAUGHTERED MY SISTERS!?" She dropped her voice to a whisper, "Ponies did. They rejected us and killed us by the thousands."

"And today, they don't know a thing about you. There's no mention of you anywhere. You could start over; stop perpetuating a vicious cycle of cruelties," I said, sorrow entering my voice. "Because in the end, you'll just wipe yourself out."

Chrysalis jerked back, surprised at my bluntness. With a shaky voice, she asked, "How do you know what will happen? We might succeed here and move on to the rest of Equestria."

"But there is an even bigger chance you'll fail and be cut down. Even if you manage to outsmart everypony that comes, you'll lose changelings. It'll be a pyrrhic victory when you put Equestria under your hoof because of all the unnecessary death and destruction."

The royal changeling turned away, pacing back and forth for a few minutes. Once she stopped, her eyes had hardened and she drew up to her full hieght. "You say we'll be treated fairly?"

"I cannot garuntee it, but I shall vouch for you."

"Nopony will know what we are?"

"None but those who were there all those years ago."

Chrysalis smiled and said, "Then I believe we have an agreement."

"You just have to release all the ponies you have taken, first."

"Fine, I'll even give them false memories to make up for the last few days."

With that, we parted ways.

Chapter 11: Pics, Pissed Dragons, and Pumkin Chunkin'

I was heading towards my room, Cadence following behind me. We had just finished setting up an audience for Chrysalis with Luna and Celestia, and I had convinced her to let me throw her a private bachelorette party. We had just gotten in and started when I heard, “Hey Max, This is Medulla, it’s Nightmare Night over here on my end want to mess around for a bit?”

“Ugh, looks like we’ll have to continue this when I get back,” I said as Cadence pulled back.

She quirked an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“Some other Displaced is Summoning me and I don’t know how to reject them yet.” I pushed her off of me and stood up just as the portal opened under me. “Let ‘Tia know that I got summoned so she doesn’t get upset.”

Max’s butterfly effect portal appearing on the exterior wall of Sugarcube Corner was unexpected. The girl on the polaroid photo stepped out and floated to the ground like a dry leaf.

“Whoa, gravity’s off a little,” I said as I tried to stand, only to launch myself up a few feet and float down to land on my head.

“I can fix that if you’d like.” someone thought texted me, trying to avoid laughing.

“Nah, I’ll get used to it. At least I’m not gravitating towards the sky this time.”

”You don’t need to say much more about that, the rest of that story flashed through your mind.”

I looked at the Displaced that had summoned me and noticed he had a mustache and a goatee. I couldn't resist, I added a monocle and rewound time, closing my mind off so he wouldn't know what I did. “Yeah, I did go a little overboard with that. But their reactions were hilarious.”

”Sorry about my token, I had no idea it could hit someone that hard. And don’t worry, I’ll try to respect your privacy. But I do have to project my thoughts to speak to you” he said with regret.

“Nah, I just never really got hit before then,” I said waving it off as I tried to stand again, this time succeeding.

”One thing before we go crazy here, I haven’t had the ‘Your entire world was a show where I’m from’ talk with anyone yet, so try not to obliquely foreshadow anything.”

I dusted myself off as I said, “I haven’t either, but then again mine isn’t conforming to it exactly.”

Medulla smirked, “ Mine is so far, and I’d like to avoid causality spoilers.”

I wonder if this Celestia would mind a visit~.... I texted him with an image of Celestia's snout down between my legs.

he reeled back, “Dear lord, that image… That was intentional wasn’t it?”

I just looked at him with an innocent little smile on my face and a little halo actually dinged into existence over my head. “Might’ve been. But then again, you might’ve seen something you shouldn't have.”

“Probably, and I thought I enjoyed teasing people like that.” At that moment a pink pony wearing a chicken costume raced towards us, but I intercepted her.

“Yay! Pink party pony’s here!” I said as I tackled Pinkie, giving her a long kiss. Yummy, bubble gum~!

Medulla sighed, “This is Max, she’s just visiting so no need to throw an impromptu party.”

Pinkie just laughed, “Don’t be silly, It’s Nightmare Night! The entire night is one big party!”

Thanks for that, I want my first Pinkie party to be from mine. I thought as I flipped off of Pinkie, lightly landing next to the Mewtwo.

No problem.

The pink mare spoke up again, “That reminds me, I still need to get your welcome to Ponyville Part ready.”

“Well miss, I’d love to help you come up with ideas for it tomorrow. But right now I need candy. Medulla declared.

I'd like to have some of your candy. Preferably the thick and salty kind~, I texted him.

Max, as flattering as that thought was I literally can’t feel that way anymore. I turned to him and unloaded my thoughts about losing a reproductive system. Sorry for your loss I guess.

I gained something else.... I guess I can’t really understand your position, then.,

I like to think is was a small price to pay for a brain to match most supercomputers.

The pink one took advantage of the moment of silence to respond, “You can just call me Pinkie, and I need some candy too.”

” Pinkie hmm.. I’m Medulla, but could you just every once in a while call me Brain.” I could tell he was starting to have some fun.

“Okey, Dokey Brain.” Pinkie said in a sing song voice.

If only she actually sounded like Pinky.

Too bad you two aren't mice. I thought to him before saying, “Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking that.” I turned towards the edge of town. “Come on, time’s a wastin’ and I can only affect it so much.”

“Where do you want to head first? There’s some games, and a hall of mirrors?

“Candy first, then eye-candy, maybe the hall last.”

”Alright, let’s head around and look for games with candy as the reward. I mean not many houses will hand out candy to beings like us. he said with determination.

“Says you,” I scoffed. “There’s always more than one way to get chocolate. You just have to get creative.”

Medulla looked thoughtful for a moment before texting, ”My methods of persuasion are less than honorable, and I deplore theft.”

“Please, I’m not talking about stealing -- I’ll only do that to thieves -- I’m thinking something like this.” Reaching into my bag, I pulled out my camera and some film for it.

”Trade?” Medulla asked as he tilted my head to the side.

“Oh yes, I’d give away my only camera for a few candy bars,” I deadpanned.

”You’re just being obtuse now, you knew I meant pictures."

“... Oh. I was thinking of selling them then buying candy from foals, but that works as well.”

He thought for a second, ”You could do both, some ponies like most adults would pay money, but foals and some other could trade for candy. Cut out the middleman.”

"Okay, we'll go through the night once with me taking photos. Then I'll rewind to here and we'll sell them," I said as I walked away. I had lots of fun hanging with the towns-ponies and playing the games, taking pictures as I saw opportunities. Pinkie and I even walked in on Rainbow and Fluttershy pulling a sixty-nine and joined them, turning it into a foursome. Eventually it became morning and I had to rewind time.

I stood there for a few seconds, trying to recover from the large jump I made time do, before I said, “Okay, got the pictures. Just need a sign and a table.”

I almost forgot you had time powers of some kind. Medulla said a little shocked. I can take care of the sign.

Pinkie pulled a folding table from out of nowhere, “And here’s a table! Thanks for giving me another night of candy!”

I stared at Pinkie. “Um.... You’re welcome?”

As Pinkie skipped away he thought ”Great! another anomaly I’ll have to check on later. Let’s set up shop on the side of the road.”

Medulla snapped my fingers twice, the table levitated and set itself up next to the road. Then ghostly flames burst into existence above the table spelling out, “Max’s photography: We take bits or candy!”

“Don’t try to understand Pinkie, I’m trying not to myself,” I said as I texted him a memory of me licking what looked like whipped cream off of the pink mare.

He snickered, “First off, who said anything about understanding her, I just need to make sure her awareness of this type of stuff can’t damage the space-time continuum significantly. Secondly, that’s unsanitary.

I sent him another image, this time of Pinkie with a balloon coming towards me, a sultry look on her face. “Had a fun time, though~.”

”Kinky! Let’s just sell these pictures and get some candy!”

We sat there for the next few hours selling Pictures and me dodging questions of how I got them before I started selling some very risque photos when no foals were around. Unsurprisingly, no one asked about those. Once all the photos were sold, we had a huge pile of candy and bits.

“I think we messed up with not separating the bits and the candy,” I said as I bit into a bit thinking it was a chocolate coin.

“Anything sour?“ Medulla asked, with a little dribble on his chin.

“I think I saw some that looked like Warheads in there somewhere,” I replied as I pulled out a bar of chocolate and made the whole pile collapse on us.

” This will only take a second.” He slammed both hands on the table, levitating all the candy and bits sorting them in a matter of seconds. The bits were on one side, the chocolate, sour, spicy, normal candy in piles on the other.

“Hey, I was about to eat that!” I complained when my teeth closed on nothing but air.

“It’s right here.” He levitated it out of the pile of chocolates, and gave it back. “Any games you want to do before the hall of mirrors.”

I hummed thoughtfully. “Well, they won’t be much of a challenge for me and there aren’t any where you can build your own catapult from scratch. The one with launching the pumpkins was fun, but could be better....”

“How would you improve it; fire, cooler targets, stronger launchers?”

“Nope. Turn it into its own competition; introduce them to Pumpkin Chunkin’,” I said with a smile.

“Get me Rainbow Dash, and Applejack. This will happen!” He had a manic grin on his face that was almost scary.

I saluted then jumped away, rewinding time once I located the two ponies in question. In only half an hour we had the two most competitive ponies in town working together to build a catapult to launch a pumpkin.

I told Pinkie to spread the word that a new competition was being made. The whole town and then some showed up.

“So this is something from your world?” Rainbow asked as she set a board in place.

“Oh Yes! Normally the competitors have a decent amount of prep time, this is more impromptu.” Medulla just stood there with a smug look on his face. “You almost ready?”

“Yeah, you have a whole year to plan, build, repair, and tweak your ‘Chunker,” I said as I tugged the arm down, with help from Applejack. “ready for launch.”

As they launched the first pumpkin, the air began to shimmer. It was almost like looking into a mirror. The sky rippled and a gray serpent with black and red rings, gold spikes, and six black and red prehensile spines on its back. The gourd smashed right into the legendary dragon’s face.

I covered my mouth to try to contain my laughter. That couldn't have been more perfectly timed if we had tried. I even saw his eyes widen!

” Well, should have seen that coming.” Medulla ‘muttered’ as he formed a pumpkin cannon with Psystrike, loaded a pumpkin and infused it with the power of Shadow Ball.

“He did!” I exclaimed before falling over, joining Rainbow in laughter.

Facepalming, he fired it at Giratina’s main body. The ghost dragon was knocked out of the sky. As the dust settled Giratina rose to its feet that were now there in its altered form. He then roared so loud that Big Mac hid behind Granny Smith. Everything went silent. “You dare STRIKE THE MIGHTY GIRATINA WITH DISGUSTING FRUIT?!” he shouted, his chest still smoking, from the empowered pumpkin.

“He doesn’t even know that they’re gourds?” I asked when I recovered.

“The name matters not! What does is you have insulted me!” Exclaimed the dragon only getting angrier.

“The first one was an accident, mine wasn’t!” Medulla said, getting his attention.

I put my hand on her face. “Seriously? I thought legendaries....”

“Think of this one like a super violent Lulu.”

“So basically he’s like my Celly, except he has PMS.”

“Only it’s all the time, not just every month.” I guess Giratina didn't like what we were saying because he launched a Dark Pulse at us. I really think my powers are too OP because i rewound time to when he had just launched his attack and slowed it to a crawl.

“This is what happens when you try to interrupt a conversation,” I yelled as I shot the Pulse with a laser rifle, making it explode in the dragon’s face.

“Thanks, now let’s learn this brute some MANNERS!” Medulla shouted in a super fake southern accent, as he created Frostmourne from WoW out of solid ice. He charged at Giratina with a battle cry and the sword in hand, and me jumping on to the sword.

“Yeehaw!” I said as I stood on the edge of the blade. I pulled out my iPod and put on a song that was perfect for what we were about to do.

Medulla ‘jumped’ just before reaching the confused dragon. I used his jump to make mine higher and pulled out my second gun, firing both into Giratina’s back. While Medulla quickly hovered around, slashing at him with his frozen sword and dodging Giratina's wings that had turned metallic wings. Giratina, being very lucky, hit me square in the back of my head with a metal wing, sending me flying into a building.

“ DIDN’T ANYONE EVER TEACH YOU TO NEVER HIT A LADY!?” I heard Medulla shout as I tried to see what was broken and what wasn't.”MAX, YOU OKAY?”

“Did someone get the number on that bus?” I asked as I stumbled out of the wall.

“Everypony stay back, and get to safety! Max if you're able I need you to turn back time once I get hit, and let me know when and where it’s coming, if you can’t I still might be able to take it.”

I waited a few seconds, rewinding as the anticipated attack struck. “It’s coming from below you,” I yelled, still holding my head.

He barely dodged out of the way, his tail getting grazed.

Then Giratina decided that this was getting fun, ”None have been able to escape that attack before, I’m impressed! But I tire of this, you defended a worthless town from my brother, why not do so again?”

Almost immediately the sky filled with an eerie red light. He had called down Draco Meteor. ”That’s a dick move bro!” Medulla complained.

“And I won’t be able to do anything about it except slow it down,” Max said, already doing so.

“Do that, please! Now Giratina, I’ll end this!” He said as a blizzard whipped up around him. Once it was so powerful that I couldn't see him anymore it was pushed towards Giratina, freezing him in place As he became encased in ice he sent out one last dark pulse, that hit Medulla in the shoulder, making his arm hang limply.

Medulla then turned his attention to the slowly falling meteorite. ”Here comes the fun part” He floated up to meet the hunk of empowered rock. He clenched his fist, flying around the rock hitting it in strategic points, breaking off chunks, until the it was more of a meteor shower. Finally he sent them flying into the unpopulated mountains nearby.

He floated back to Giratina, letting him thaw. Medulla then surrounded him with a barrage of Shadow Balls to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. ”Now Giratina, let’s talk about what you’re going to do now?”

”I serve lord Arceus, You will never control me!” Giratina declare defiantly.

“Everything you do from here on out is your decision. But let me give you some advice. What has the high and mighty bastard ever done for you? He banished you, because you were a little too violent. That is bull shit, Palkia was almost just as violent you, and I’m pretty sure Dialga won’t be much better. You’re the Renegade! What do you owe Arceus? You should just leave here, take your Distortion World, and go anywhere in the multiverse you want.”

With that the Renegade dragon smiled and melted into the ground, as he said, “I’ve always wanted to see other worlds based off of tv shows.”

“You could come with me!” I said after Giratina was gone.

”You’re hurt, Max, sit down.” Medulla said, his text filled with concern.

I sighed, “Yeah, I guess he wouldn’t want to hang with someone he hurt.”

”Look at me, please,” he said in a somewhat stern voice. I turned to him looking a bit annoyed. ”Looks like a concussion but I can’t tell how severe. If you have any mental barriers I’m going to need you to let me through so I can see how bad the injury to your head is.”

”Here, drink this.” I handed Max a glass bottle of Berry Juice.

“Thanks,” Max said before downing it. “Tasty.”

”Mixed it myself, should help you heal much faster.” he smiled at something.

“Wow, must’ve been hard to find berries that you mixed.” I reached into her bag and pulled out a tube with what looked like a blue double helix inside. “Here, I doubt I’ll ever need Nemesis’ raw power. You sure could use it, though.”

”At first it was, but then I made an orchard. Need to find some time to find it. Thanks, who knows when you might need the most deadly living biohazard. Max your contract is complete, you may return to your Equestria. Be sure to see a doctor once you get back… Oh, and congratulations! You’ll have to contract me again once baby is born. ” he said smirking as my portal opened.

.... What. It was almost completely closed when I screamed, “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!”

Author's Notes:

Internet's been on the fritz for the last two weeks and I've lost the original scenes where Max gets summoned and where she goes around taking pics. On another note: SURPRISE! Max is pregnant. Wonder who the father is? Why are you even looking at this? You have to wait just like me to find out.

Chapter 12: Truth, Skipping Court, and Handsome Jack

What?! I'm WHAT!? If this is just a sick joke, I'm gonna-... Just- PAIN! LOTS OF PAIN! I thought as I came out of my portal and ran right through Cadence. I didn't even hear what she said as I blasted down the hallways, using my powers to go even faster. I guess I scared all those guards I used as springboards and I might've left a dent or two in the walls when I went around corners, but I managed to get to the medical wing in under a minute.

Bursting in the doors, I spotted Home Remedy walking away from a guard with a sprained wing and tackled him. "First, I have a concussion. second, I might be pregnant so do whatever scans you can," I said when his eyes stopped spinning.

"Um.... W-well, you'll have to get off of me for me to do any good," he said with a slight blush.

"Fine," I groan as I stand up, pulling the doctor with me.

Once he was standing he lit his horn, a beam traveling up and down me once. "I have good news and slightly better news."

"No bad news?" I said looking skeptical.

Shaking his head he said, "It all depends on how you look at it. The good news is your concussion isn't bad, though I'd suggest not sleeping today."

"What's the rest of the news?"

"You're a month pregnant."

Holy shit, he was right! I thought before my thoughts devolved into happy and terrified gibbering. When I came back to reality I was being held by Celestia, my hair being stroked as I calmed down.

"I-I'm pregnant," I said with a smile.

"Ssh, I know. You were babbling on about what might happen," Celestia said kissing me soon after.

"B-but-"

She put her hoof to my mouth. "No buts. Right now I have court and I think I'd like your help with some things that will come up."

I sighed. "Alright. Maybe it'll distract me for a bit."

With that we stood up and walked to the throne room, only saying something when what looked like a purple tinted meteor crashed into the maze.

"I hope that didn't hit Rainbow's trampoline," I said as I stared at the cloud of purple-tinted dust.

"No, that went further into the maze than that," Celestia said, walking towards the throne room again. "We can send some guards to see what happened."

I bit my lip, There's something more exciting than court happening.... I won't be able to sit there without my mind wandering to that meteor all the time, I decided. "I'm gonna go check it out myself."

Celestia stopped and looked at me. “What of court?”

“It can wait another hour or two,” I said as I jumped out the window, falling the four floors to the ground.

Landing next to a guard I said, “Get Sol and Mun up, I think we’ll need them for this.”

“Yes ma’m,” he said as he turned to go inside.

“Oh alright, I’ll come along too,” Celestia said after she teleported down. “You should try to take it easy, Max.”

Walking towards the maze I said, “Don’t worry, it doesn’t do anything besides give me a headache when I use my powers.”

“And using magic doesn’t do the same?”

“My powers don’t take energy, unlike magic,” I said as I turned a corner.

“But what do they take in exchange?”

“I’ve been playing around with the idea that I’m- Holy shit, that’s a big crater,” Right in front of me were the rest of the maze should have been was a giant crater. Why there had only been a little dust and not a huge explosion that shoved Canterlot off the side of the mountain.... I’m not gonna question it; cartoon logic is a good enough explanation for me. In the middle was a short mesa with what looked like a... thing from... I think the game was called Borderlands? I hadn’t really gotten into the game and the franchise failed after the second game. Next to the object was a small shrub, burning away without a care in the world. All on the mesa were small, glowing purple shards.

“... At least the maze was insured,” Celestia said as we stared.

“But-but MY TRAMPOLINE!!!” After I said that the twisted frame crashed down next to me, causing me to jump away. “Now I have to buy a new one,” I said with a pout.

“You can do that later, I’m intrigued to see what could cause this,” Celestia said, walking towards the center of the crater. Following behind her, I noticed that there was a logo on the side with an H right in the middle. Wait, isn’t that the Hyperion logo? They had the best sniper rifles in the game.... Maybe this thing can give me one?

Stepping up onto the mesa, I walked right up to the object I realized had to be a Hyperion Acquisition Beacon. Sitting upright miraculously in the middle of this small crater looking very pristine as if nothing around it’s current spot actually happened, only for a wave beam of sorts washed over Celestia and I, giving off some sort of audio response that I missed on account of Sol and Mun pulling both Celestia and I behind them, Sol handing me Rainbow in the process.

“Um... it was just scanning us.... For some reason,” I said, looking over their shoulders. Just then a hologram of an alicorn with a red mane of what looked like wires hanging over one eye appeared, blinking glowing optics at the view presented by the beacon. She had a white possibly waxed ‘coat’ and was wearing a Hyperion yellow business suit that was stylized in the Hyperion colors from Borderlands, her mechanical wings fluttered slightly only to settle against her back.

Blinking once more before obviously looking towards Celestia giving a shrug, the pony in question had a curious expression on her face. “We give our Greetings onto thou by local time considering ‘day’, May we start with introductions?” The oddly speaking olde’ tongue of said pony present, giving off a regal ‘air’ of command before gesturing to herself with a five fingered hand? “We would be F.A.U.S.T., The second choice one would get when using the Hyperion Corporation's Beacon from another universe.”

I chuckled a little before saying, “Second? I thought a beautiful mare such as yourself would be the first.” I slightly pushed Sol and Mun out of the way, trying to make myself more visible.

“Commander, we have no-” Sol started.

“Idea what this... thing is capable of,” Mun finished.

“I recognize this beacon from my previous world, it’s harmless... after it lands obviously.”

The projected Possible alicorn looked amused by the whole situation, even a devious glint in the eye. “We would have to refuse thy courtship, since thou appear to already be with one of our daughters. Or not due to Multiverse ‘differences’, but regardless we have seen the historical ‘reference’ to one whom would put one of our kind’s mate in danger or do combat with. If thou had the alicorn version of ‘Nightmare Moon’ imagine instead of forever night to ‘smite’ the ground of the offender’s remains of the material and spiritual if skilled enough.” Giving a smile after said explanation.

I shook my head, “Didn’t have Nightmare, but we did have.... What did Luna say you were called when you were banished?” I asked Celestia.

“.... Daymare Flare,” She moaned in embarrassment, covering her face with a hoof.

“Yeah... Celly... I don’t know what she did, but she was the one that got banished,” I explained, setting Rainbow on my lover’s back.

This Faust gave a curious expression before making a possible note, maybe as it’s hard to tell from this angle before that odd neutral ‘expression’ looked so natural on that face. “What would the intending transaction be about on this day, after such, joyous embarrassment was held?” The feeling of being watched grew intense under that scrutinizing gaze.

“Do you sell sniper rifles? Like really high-powered ones that anyone would be able to easily use?” I said with a small smile.

Faust blinked for a moment, looking at me, than at the ponies present before giving a slight hand wave in their direction. “For thyself or those currently present beholding this? For it has been done before for Quadrupeds, but the battle saddles were from war build up technology.” She stated in a serious tone if it was to be wielded by them or me.

“For scrawny, weak old me. Also, would I be able to get two shields? Turtle would be preferable, but if you don’t have any I’ll take a regular one.”

Cueing up the orders on the right side of the holographic screen showed other options as well currently greyed out, even so far as list possible purchase of grenades along with the sniper rifle. “We would suggest grenades or even a secondary gun, for sniper rifles can only effectively apply at ironically a ranged capacity and without time to train may become a hindrance if not careful.” The hologram image gave a neutral smile, looking into my eyes with a raised eyebrow at some spot behind me?

“No thanks, I have some other guns and I... don’t really trust myself with grenades,” I said as I read the details for the rifle and the shields, noticing that both of the shields were designed to be used by those of small stature. “Besides, with my powers I’ll be able to train while I need to use the gun. Oh, I almost forgot, do you have anything that’ll heal a pegasus?”

There was a calm neutral tone still as the image of this Faust responded. “It would depend on the state of said injuries, options available and amount WILLING to pay for such a procedure. But that would be fairly standard, for what Hyperion has access to.” She responded seeming to gauge the intended patient being nearby.

I frowned. So they have the items and more, but how much would it be- I thought before Sol leaned over and whispered, “That device has already scanned our avatars and is trying to scan our hulls.”

“So you’re stealing information while selling me things?” I said to Faust as I crossed my arms, a disgusted look on my face.

The robotic hologram simply held a neutral smile still, as the look she gave Sol could be felt as a ‘chilling’ tone still holding that look as before but those eyes surged slightly. “We do not steal, as at this time it is customary to thoroughly scan every individual. The case in point being ‘variances’ from one universe to another, case in point, ourself and those collected with thyself. But the observations may be ‘obvious’ on surface levels it is what is different of the ‘makeup’ that provides the most information and theories adjusted in kind.” During that spoken moment two test tubes came into view, before in her hand came towards the holographic view until a REAL hand holding said tubes appeared.

Giving a sultry cough proceeding with her topic. “These would be for medical sample purposes IF the transaction is to proceed, besides listed local medical records, current condition and the permission to receive said patient if all else goes through.” The hand dropped both test tubes from her grasp with the hand retreating back while they hovered in place by I guess the token’s doing.

Softening my expression, I said, “I can understand that, but please stop scanning them. I don’t want anyone, even someone outside of this universe, to know their weaknesses; even I don’t know what they are. Besides, it’s obvious who the patient will be.” I gestured at Rainbow’s casts and bandages. Damn, now I won’t be able to use the knowledge of how their bodies work as a way to trade for the healing item.

She merely nodded, before gesturing for more information besides the ‘visual’ display of said Rainbow Dash using her fingers even going so far. As to outright ‘visualize’ holographic papers next to a comical outline image of a injured pegasus pony. “It is pleasant that said requested patient is present, but as we stated earlier, documentation is required for ‘proper’ more streamlined proceedings as any treatment may have side effects from cross universal laws. Also stated earlier could hold a deciding factor how treatment is handled.” Before said bipedal alicorn robot folded her arms making the chest more pronounced a bit.

Celestia, getting what the other alicorn was saying, lifted the injured filly in her magic and set her in front of the hologram.

That’s a nice rack she’s got on her. I wonder if she’ll use Sol and Mun’s avatar data to make herself a real body, I thought as I looked down at Rainbow, my cheeks becoming a bit warm at the image of Faust slowly revealing her new flesh. “Anyways, I’d like you to do as much as you can for her.” My face hardened as I said, “I found her tied in a cave-”

The neutral smile adorning F.A.U.S.T.’s face slowly drops before starting to point out something we knew. “You found this filly, does she have ANY records at all? Are you even labeled legally as her guardian? Has there been medical checks at LEAST for what her allergies, genetic condition, or even citizen register upon her description?” She seemed to fire off each one like a trigger upon contained frustration. “By appearances she HAS seen a doctor, what records does he or she have from that?” Finishing in a more exasperated tone looking at me pointedly.

“... As I was saying; she was surrounded by dead foals and tied to a stalagmite,” I continued as Celestia teleported Rainbow’s file to my hand. “I had to sign only one paper to get full legal custody of her. She has no allergies, unless you count an aversion to unicorns as one. No genetic conditions, though she has a bigger mana font than the average unicorn. Besides her mane -- which normally would be rare -- she’s the only pegasus that anyone has seen in the last five hundred years so there’s no way someone would be able to foalnap her; I’d kill them as soon as they touched her.” I held out the folder for F.A.U.S.T. to scan.

Receiving the data from the documents as they were digistructed out of my hand only to appear in her’s to be scanned from paper to digital most likely as it was returned. “You went through the legal hoops to become a citizen, were checked to be stable to allow adoption let alone left care of a foal by them? If so with little or no resistance we would say thou art fortuitous.” Seeming to do some notes before looking back at me. “Speaking of such things as ‘legal boundaries’ you accept any medical treatment done by Hyperion will rest solely on the caretaker of said patient and the company not held liable for effects from treatment?”

“Yeah, there’s a law here that basically states if someone throws or casts away something, anyone can lay claim to that object, whether it’s physical or someone’s life. There are sub-laws dictating the extent of it, but I don’t have them memorized.” I said, “I just had to become a citizen to have the law come into effect.

“I do, but only if the side effects are minor, not visible, and not life-threatening.”

The response first was a simple flat, if not beautiful neutral look, something that likely screamed ‘it is either all or nothing’ type of approach. “When we stated that, it is not to be taken lightly. A simple but clearly stated ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’ will suffice, as with many things it can be cut smoothly to expose what is below or jagged leaving marred trails from indecisiveness.” Faust’s tone was authoritative that swung through the air as one would from a leader, not giving me room to wiggle like she was holding me down with her words to decide.

I frowned, not liking that I had been backed into a corner. “Okay, I’ll take full responsibility for what happens.”

There was an awkward silence for a few moments, as if she was gauging my response and those around me as well. “Would the Royalty you live under ALSO accept the possible outcomes due to a as stated endangered pegasus tribe member? As a side benefit, if the procedure is successful. A injection of a genetic altering nature may be produced that could alter a pony to be genetically similar if having the same side effects or variation to repopulate, though the results due to only one gender sampling would make males volatile.” She still somehow spoke in that sexy voice of grace if not power, maybe she’s a very ‘experienced’ robot alicorn?

“As Max has stated, the law gives her the power to raise Rainbow how ever she wishes. Including how injuries are taken care of,” Celestia said, taking an ashamed stance as she continued. “Pegasi had broken the pact that founded Equestria when I raised my war hammer against Luna and would most likely not be welcome.”

The hologram showing Faust gives a mock raising of the eyebrow upon her face, giving a narrowing of the irises. “Then would they not wish exile upon said patient or even her own death be warranted? Unless that is IF harmony and it’s teachings of peace and acceptance do not exist here..” There was a predatory look in that stare down, before I noticed her gaze shift down softening upon Rainbow Dash.

“Given that I am her guardian and ‘Tia’s lover -- not to mention stupidly powerful -- they’ll accept her or move to another country. But yeah, Pegasi would not be welcome in most places; not attacked, but they would be barely tolerated,” I admitted. “What’s the total come to if I add an order of enough rounds for three hundred clips for the rifle?”

A sigh escapes that anthro robotic muzzle, moving a hand onto her face giving a first anthro face muzzle. “The correct term would be Magazine, for the rifle ‘Crimson Invader’ has fifteen shots per magazine, times that by three hundred? That would total to four thousand five hundred bullets minus the fifteen already from a pre loaded mag.” She stated showing the numbers for that and gun purchase separate from the medical ones currently. “The total combined would be 268,374 Bits or value equivalent exchange of raw materials.” the rifle alone was close to fifty thousand bits, and she talked about that amount of bits like they didn’t mean much if anything a tiny blip from a business tone that has seen more wealth.

Shaking my head, I said, “No, I want it all toge-” I doubled over, clutching my head as it was filled with pain.

Pained howls greeted him when he awoke, driving his headache to be even worse than when he had passed out. After being blasted away by that meteor he had broken nearly every bone in his body and had been stabbed by at least twenty branches when he ground to a halt in front of a cave.

A hoof pushed him down when he tried to get up and a voice said, “Peace, Commander, you’re among allies.”

“Where am I?” he croaked out.

“The lair of the Goddess of the Wheat Harvest, though she isn’t cooperating right now.” A mare was helping him. A candle was lit nearby, revealing that the mare was a pegasus with a yellow coat and an orange and yellow mane. Her cutie mark was a lightning bolt coming out of a fire.

“How long have I been-” a wave of coughs interrupted him.

“You’ve been imprisoned in stone for close to fifteen hundred years, and have spent the past two days unconscious,” the mare said as she gave him a glass of water.

Once he got his breath under control the stallion said in a hate and spite-filled voice, “I won’t stay in this cave more than a week, and that’s only because I’m in a bad way. Those damn nags will die by my hooves for this. They’ll regret the day their mothers mated with another species. I, Commander Hurricane, swear it.”

When I regained consciousness I was lying on a soft body, a filly and two wings covering me. I could hear Sol berating someone and Mun trying to -- barely -- get her to stop. Once the wings -- which had to be Celestia’s -- moved to let me up, I held Rainbow and stood. The sight I was greeted with was Sol shaking a hoof at the hologram, which had barely restrained anger hidden behind a neutral face.

“Sol, don’t make her angrier,” I said in a shaky voice.

Turning to me, Sol said, “But she-”

“Didn’t do anything to me,” I interrupted. “Back off.” What was that? Did the future change?

“What happened?” Celestia asked.

I took a breath, steadying myself for the moment. “I-I don’t know. I’ll tell you later.”

I looked back at Faust and said, “I apologise for Zenith Sol’s behavior; she and her twin are... overly protective of me. Anyways, I don’t want more than one receipt.”

Who is the-.... HOLO IS REAL HERE!? My eyes widened in shock. I-I- Wait! She’ll need help escaping. I think I could spring for a shield for her. Celestia had taken Rainbow from me and filled the vials while I was distracted apparently, as I caught the tail end of the digistruction when I focused back on the hologram.

The view showed the robotic alicorn receiving the blood samples and having one be analyzed and the other for some sort of ‘control sample’ to compare with I think, though the next thing she said drew a look. “We would have to receive the patient and deal treatment depending on the outcomes of test results that would occur, once the safest and most health inducing treatment is formulated, we would confer again upon completion.” She broached this topic it seemed in a careful manner. “It would require us to have her in our care until it is completed, if a non vital individual would wish to observe her care while here we would allow that, so long as treatment isn’t hampered.”

Also it looked like another one EXACTLY like her came into view, wearing what looked like a sexy nurse outfit… “The placement for all this would be done upon the Lunar facility as it is one of THE most secure Hyperion installations in our universe..” The first Faust smiled at me in a knowing fashion for the second one giving a wink before getting out of view with a distinct heel sound getting dimmer, was she intentionally doing that to get me excited?

.... Either way, it was working.I really don’t want her out of my sight for more than a few hours... I seriously hope that I don’t miss anything here, though, with that thought I said, “I’m the only one that would be able to that I trust implicitly.” Plus- wait, no, pregnant. Damn this is going to be hard....

She gave a look than I noticed her eyes trail down a bit gesturing to the belly. “Even as thou carry for two?” She gave a possible genuine smile at that bit of pregnancy, did she even see that in the scan? As faust seemed to wait for what may have happened next while gazing momentarily towards Celestia.

Wait.... ‘carry for two’? does she- “You mean I’m going to have TWINS!?” I shouted.

“The doctor only mentioned one foal! Do you mean that his scan missed the third magic signature?” Celestia demanded.

“YOU’RE PREGNANT!?” Sol and Mun yelled.

The hologram of Faust meanwhile seemed to be idly checking her nails, giving a look before smiling softly as she spoke in a tone of pride. “We would say our technology is rather more efficient and providing deep layered results that can be compiled into a 3D image in less than a minute’s time after data collection.” Before staring at Celestia, gesturing to Me.

“So you ca-” I turned back to face the pink alicorn. “Third magic signature?”

Celestia nodded. “Your powers are magic in the same way Luna and I use magic to move the sun and moon, but more... fey and eldritch. Aside from that, it’s just like magic.”

The token meanwhile beeped as Faust drew attention back to her. “How shall we discuss payment to be rendered?” She gave a calculated look as her form sat down in a now present computer chair, giving an exaggerated shrug before fluttering robotic wings relaxed. still looking towards Celestia, likely viewing her as the one likely to pay for all of this. With a odd look in her eyes before giving a side comment. “We are curious why thou would be of pink coat instead of white like our eldest daughter, though tis likely another factor in differences of the multiverse or one had suffered a prank.”

“Luna had tried pranking me, but I had the last laugh; she used to be grey,” Celestia said with a smirk.

Pulling out my little calculator-bank... thing, I said, “I’ll pay for everything once Rainbow is healed. That way if anything is broken by Dash or I, I’ll be paying for that as well.”

She raised a brow in response, until out of nowhere a high quality page appeared with the title on it reading as ‘Hyperion Transaction Standard Contract Agreement’, that gave off a faint glow with the bottom of the page having two signing areas for the primary and co signer. “The page before thy eyes, is one of our contracts. Due to the business nature involved since payment is NOT offered upfront, this must be signed so that thou art bound to fulfil the required payment by one method or another. Since thou graciously added willingness to pay damages that may incur we have included that to the record, once all things are fulfilled it will simply be a harmless page.” Faust stated in a showy manner even having the page before our eyes twirl until ready to be read over, it literally covered even the excuses of unable to be paid, like death, coma, other worldly dimensional horrors.

I looked through the contract, trying to find anyway that they could take more than what I owed. If there were any, I couldn’t find them. Is- oh, that is laughable; there was a clause that said there would be fines if the payment was late! Chuckling, I signed it and said, “You’ll get the money before I leave. I do my absolute best to keep my word.”

The said robotic alicorn smiled genuinely before stating this with her brow raised still. “Thou would be surprised how much value one’s word has when it is confirmed, though do note our fines if not kept can cause collateral damage until payment is rendered.” She spoke in a vague tone still smiling in that sexy almost scary, look in her eyes? They are fucking glowing with razor rows of teeth glinting like a shark that are rotating in a agonizingly slow manner while her tongue licked some of them sensuously.

“.... That might be for some people, but not me. I’ll make sure to pay.”

“Please Commander, let me go instead. I don’t trust that machine at all,” Sol said, Mun nodding in agreement.

“I think I’ll go find Nightwing now,” Celestia said as she trotted away. I heard her break into a gallop once she was out of sight.

From hearing that the robotic alicorn moved away a bit from the view that her head had taken up for that point, with even a click seeing those rows of teeth hide behind the front most herbivore kind. Her ‘eyes’ more of a normal tone than glowing fury and malicious, to pleasant warm and loving as a milf next door would have. “That is a good thing to hear, because continued business is always a plus in our opinion as we learned from our human, Jack. Though do be smart and NOT inform him of ‘that’ method we use to acquire late payments, he is focusing himself on projects and information gathering.”

I gave a knowing smile and said, “I won’t. Now how about getting Rainbow and I over there?”

A simple motion closer by this robot to stand at the token in question. “There may be some ‘oddities’ to occur once crossing over, thou will likely see the filly in question to ‘adapt’ or change while the same condition to be what thou see’s of us.” She gestured to her own figure than to rainbow dash, to get the point she might change into a anthro while there… “Also thou should have the token secure in a large room, to prevent theft as Hyperion has no qualms about trading to any individual so long as payment is rendered.”

Stepping closer, I picked up Rainbow. “That might be cool to see.”

“I’ll request for this to go in Discord’s vault,” Sol said before taking off.

Digistruction -- I learned the proper term later -- is an interesting and slightly terrifying form of travel. I watched as a beam shot out towards us and surrounded us with a grid that slowly reached towards me. Lines of pain shot through me where the light touched, cutting me into cubes. Once it stopped the beam pulsed and a cube of my scalp disappeared, sending more pain through me. Another pulse, another agonizing head-cube disappeared. The next minute or two was spent with the beam picking up speed and once Rainbow and I were nothing but data, we were pulled into the token and sent across the Void to a specific universe.

But for what may have been half a moment everything ‘stopped’ as i felt ‘whole’ but in a dark place, Rainbow Dash wasn’t in my arms but something else was here. There was movement all around even dripping, with just enough whatever light was coming through to see. Showing a mass of black shining tentacles in this place as glowing purple eyes of different shapes, sizes and twisted glee shown on them. “We are most PLEASED thou would be coming to visit our little human, through his ‘token’..” The voice spoke in a whisper that clearly was heard, it felt grating as if something was pricking needles against my brain.

Fuck, it’s Cthulhu! I thought, staring in horror. He said ‘our little human’.... He’s the one that sent Jack to his universe. “You... aren’t going to do something to me?”

There was a slight chuckle that felt like another stab of a needle, especially when looking at any of the eyes around this ‘room’. “We only wish to pass on a simple message to our human, nothing that would directly involve thou because of that.” A black inky thin like a tree branch wrapped around my waist, the feeling washed over me as these next words were said in careful spacing ingraining the message for Jack to get. “Prepare for unforeseen consequences…”

In that moment it was spoken, the emptiness was gone, there was fire and lava everywhere, gazing up at the sky showed a MASSIVE whirling hole with cracks spreading out from the sky around it with little black spots dropping from it. But a loud sound of something colossal, bigger than a fully grown land dragon moved, when it reared it’s head blocking my view, another sound turning out to be a small group of not quite clear images of different humans standing defiantly in closer range. With a livid armored anthro Celestia, Luna and a scarred and bleeding Discord in the background to some chaotically blown open entrance holding his stumped talon arm at the wrist baring his teeth at something in MY direction below the monster.

As next to me a Laughing woman with styled red hair with glowing purple eyes with matching tattoos held shark like teeth gave out a great ‘cheer’ in mock while holding a pair of roughly severed hands said this. “Why even the multiversal human rescue committee has come help out this Equestria’s ponies and gimped chaos spawn, what? Did you finally come to try and take our new human toy?” Waving a severed human hand up towards the towering beast of strange blackened rock, white fire and glowing purple energy in question to see Handsome Jack, Half of his forearms and his lower legs were AMPUTATED! Bound onto the chest of this Monster that held glowing purple eyes while jack’s exposed broken face showed an equally broken man lacking any literal color.

I stared in awe for a few seconds before I said, “That is epic and scary to look at....”

The colossal monster gave a look down at the redhead next to me as if bored of what’s happening before it’s gaze drifted onto her saying this. “How long are you going to keep those?” As if to answer that question she ATE the hands, to which the Discord that was there to visibly flinch rubbing his taloned stump. “At least we can begin by ‘mopping’ up these displaced humans, before sending them back when corrupted to expand the Architect’s Influence.” The massive creature stated with a clawed forearm before unleashing a mouth blast.

With that I felt myself being sucked away, back into the Void to continue my journey.

When I arrive with a more anthro Rainbow in my arms I get a whiff of chemical cleaner, not unlike a hospital. Right in front of me is Faust -- the one in the sexy nurse outfit -- holding out her arms for Rainbow Dash.

I hand her over, noting that she was indeed anthropomorphic, and said, “That was... eventfu-” I scream in pain as liquid floods down my legs, clutching my now distended stomach.

What?! What’s happening, why am I so round? I think as another Faust arrives with a gurney, trying to tell me something I don’t understand through the pain. Giving up, she lifts me onto the rolling bed and pushes me through hallway after endless hallway, pain shooting through my abdomen all the while. I... think I blacked out there, because the next thing I knew I heard someone say, “It’s another filly!”

Then that someone set two bundles in my arms and said, “Two beautiful Fillies.” The voice held a strong strong southern accent that I could clearly understand. “Now you go and rest now, as I have some volatile subjects to treat for other issues.” A walking was heard as looking in his direction showed a White painted robot with mostly black cable mane with some side grey ones, with a obvious medical mask one. Is that blood also on his doctor’s gown?!

Opening the door leading out of my room he turns back with vibrant green robotic eyes and points at me with a medical mask covering the lower half of his face. “You stay in that bed you hear me missy?” Only at the tail end to head someone ELSE yell out from barely heard tones of someone crazy saying something about being starving and wanting to eat my babies!?! “Don’t mind that, dealing with Psycho driven ponies is a in progress treatment to try and make them sane again, Eridium Fallout areas caused that bit of medical mess.” He gave a wave of the hand before giving a wave goodbye, likely to deal with whoever that was.

Though it was around this time that a black starry smoke pushed open that very same door to the room, condensing into a two legged healthy anthro female wearing a lovely gown that went down just to her knees with slitted eyes baring pointed teeth looking at me, before suddenly cooing at my babies.. “They are simply adorable, if only we could see how the foals for thy species are like! we hope they are THIS adorable!” Presenting them both showing one to be a unicorn and the other an alicorn.

The unicorn had an dark, almost burnt, orange coat and the beginnings of a dark purple mane and tail. As I looked at her, her eyes opened revealing honey gold irises that melted my heart. Reluctantly, I turned my head to look at my other foal. Her eyes were open as well, deep blue eyes looking into my own. She had a light blue coat and her mane and tail were red and white.

We laid there staring at each other for what seemed like hours, mesmerized by what we saw. “I-I.... I’m... a-” I got out before I was overcome by emotion, holding them closer.

The door opened to the room, a man with a styled full head of brown hair going back with one part a bit greyed walked in. While a fake sort of mask was latched onto his face with a blue and green mixed eyes that moved to see me. His mask likely a lighter shade to his tanned skin tone, while he looked moderately healthy shape in his darker grey coat with a yellow undershirt shown in it’s openness while he wore jeans and shoes to match his outfit with some weird gizmos on his coat and belt, even his wrist. “It’s taken me some time to clear my schedule but I came as soon as I heard, void travel can be so unpredicta-” Jack -- by my guess -- was cut off by the black coated alicorn who was showing me, my babies.

“Thou and US, our handsome human. Right NOW, we do not care anymore about thy apprehension towards fucking outside thy species. for we want thy foals in us, NOW!” With a pop they both vanished with both foals looking that way then back at me.

Oh HELL no! I thought as I rewound time to before the black alicorn teleported away. Smacking her up side the head I said, “I’ll not tolerate that language around my foals!”

Said anthro alicorn blinked, turning her head slowly towards me as those slitted teal eyes narrowed. Her teeth gritted once giving a held back venomous tone. “Touch us again and we’ll be adopting them, but we WILL respect Our ‘language’ around them..”

She gave Jack a look as if having included him but he shrugged once. “Hey I know how to keep my mouth clean around kids, Orphanage raised remember?” He said pointing at himself, as if to make that statement clearer only for the black alicorn to push his face into her chest tightly as he flailed before grabbing her tail getting her to go ridged before she started to release his head.

Her smile grew lecherous and a lick of her lip added before speaking. “We am glad thou are WISHING that our handsome Jack...” She purred that out only for him to sigh and give me a look than back to her as the sight of bedroom eyes were full blown from the mare, looking right at jack.

“At least wait until you’re out of the room to begin that, sheesh,” I said jokingly to Jack, rolling my eyes. I then remembered what that being said. “Oh, some... thing told me to tell you to ‘Prepare for unforeseen consequences’ or something like that.”

Jack’s eyes grew wider as if recognizing that phrase from somewhere but just as he was about to ask, did said alicorn holding him teleport the two of them away. leaving myself, my two foals and Faust? As the one wearing the business suit sat patiently having no presence until her eyes started glowing in a red and chaotic fashion. “Tis a pleasure to see thou in the ‘flesh’ as it were, though we should note thou should try not to be in any pregnancy cycle while waylaid in the void whilst coming...” She smiled in that warm comforting sense looking over at my fillies.

I smiled down at the bundles in my lap. “I didn’t plan to meet whatever that was.” I leaned down, kissing both on the tips of their stubby little horns before saying,, “You’ll need names. How about... Golden Spark and... Light Sweet?”

Author's Notes:

This is what the colossal creature is in the Vision that Architect gave Max.

This is Golden Spark.

And this is Light Sweet.

Obviously they are younger than that, but I couldn't get the creator to go younger that this.

Chapter 13: Sorrow and Sisters Thick as Thieves

Digistructing into my own universe again I caught a glimpse of Discord before the light faded, leaving me in complete darkness.

Comforting Rainbow, I said, “Discord, nice to finally see you.” I took a flashlight out of my bag, turning it on and pointing it at the stone draconequus.

The feeling isn’t mutual, He thought-texted me.

I turned to leave. “Okay then, I guess I’ll just leave and forge-”

WAIT! He interrupted. I turned back to look at him. He sighed, Fine.... It’s good to see you too.... What’s with the three fillies?

I smiled, hugging my foals a little closer to me. “There’s a lot that you’ve missed. I’d be glad to tell you once I get Luna and Celly to agree to letting you out.”

What. ...There’s a catch, isn’t there?

Nodding I said, “Yep, I’d like your help with some things and you can only help me if you’re not trapped in stone.”

Great, can’t wait to help you take care of your foals, he texted sarcastically.

“What I have in mind is much more exciting than foalsitting. I want your help tracking down a pegasus,” I said as I turned to find the door. I noticed that we were in a large room, larger than the throneroom. The room was bare except for the token and Discord’s statue and I had no trouble locating a lever on the far wall next to an indent big enough for the statue to fit through while upright and still have a few feet of clearance.

That’s all? I’ll be done with that in only a month, he texted in a dismissive tone.

“There’s that, and I would like for you to find the Goddess of the Wheat Harvest and ask her if she would come talk to me.”

Holo won’t like that you’re with Celestia; she’ll take one sniff and demand that you get right to business.

Kinda figured Celly wouldn’t like a wolf the size of a barn, I thought before saying, “Be that as it may, I would still like to talk with her.”

Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

“I won’t,” I said as I walked away.

Reaching the door, I pulled the lever and waited as the wall lowered. Once it was half-way down I heard sounds of fighting. Metal hitting stone and other metal, cries of pain, the thump and schlick of a blade driving into a body, the moans of those too badly injured to fight or crawl away, the boom of cannons, and the whine of spells and missiles through the air.

Wha- DAMNIT!!! I was gone too long! I thought as I leaped up onto the stairs that were reversing their incline, coming out into the throne room just as a pegasus drove his dagger into a space between Luna's armor, driving it to the hilt and twisting it.

The stallion had a sneering smile on his face as he said, "Long live the princess." With that he pulled the knife out and whistled, the other pegasi turning and blasting out through broken windows, him following right after.

I caught a glimpse of pink and gold on the other side of Luna and dread filled me. N-no.... N-no, it-

I was suddenly standing over the dying bodies of Luna and Celestia, their armor dented and chipped. Luna was wearing light plate armor, mostly hardened leather with sheets of metal stitched in it, that was a dark blue with lighter highlights. It looked like she had been beaten with several war hammers, cut with who knows how many blades, then sat on by an Ursa Major. Celestia, though, looked worse. Her gold and white heavy plate was almost completely shattered and her warhammer was laying beside her, the head broken into shards.

Tears filled my eyes as they looked up at me, relief and acceptance written on their faces.

"M-Max... it is... good to- good to see you," Celestia choked out.

I knelt down next to her, a guard taking my foals from me, "Shh, d-don't worry. W-we'll-" I begin.

"No, they used.... There is no way we shall survive this," Luna said, her breathing labored.

"N-no, I can rewind time and-"

"No, Max," Celestia interrupted, sighing. "My sis-... sister is tired of ruling, and I w-would rather be your lov-er then run a country."

"B-but-"

"No-" Luna coughed and blood dripped from the corner of her mouth, Her lung had been punctured. "No. We had been talking of-... of giving you our power and thrones. To be ponies once more... "

"Y-you are ponies.... You're-" Celestia put her hoof on my lips and I let my tears fall.

"We would- have prefered to," she drew in a shaky breath. "live to be old, and go peacefully." She looked to my side and smiled, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. "I had dreaded not being able to see my foals.... Please, raise them right. D-don't let them be f-filled with hate...."

I grabbed her hoof and kissed it. "I will. I p-promise I will." I sat down and pulled Celestia's head into my lap, kissing her as the sisters gave me the last of their strength.

With day coming later than normal, all of Equestria knew something had happened. I was made aware of it by a letter being delivered by a maid to Celestia's -- now mine and mine alone -- rooms. It was sealed by a piece of purple wax bearing the symbol of the moon.

I was sitting on the bed, Golden, Light, and Rainbow on my lap sleeping. "Open and read it, please," I said, my tears having run themselves out and left me empty... So so empty.

"Yes, your highness," the maid said. Dimly I remembered her as the one that always brought Celestia and I breakfast. Her name was... Hearth Flare? She cleared her throat before reading, "Dear Luna, Ponyville is in an uproar about the delay to set the moon and Mayor Mare asked me to send you this letter to ask about it. I hope nothing is wrong and it was just a prank that distracted you. Signed, Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle."

I closed my eyes and said, “Write a response-”

Hearing a commotion out in the hall, I went to the door and walked out. I felt something hit my shoulder and let out an “oof!”, a wing coming around in front of my face, almost knocking me over. A second or two later something else crashed into my leg, sending all three of us to the floor.

“Halt!” I heard a guard shout, the two that knocked me over tensing to jump off. Before they could, I stopped their muscles from getting the signal to move.

Lifting the one that was basically wrapped around my head I said, “Thank you guardspony, I shall take it from here.”

I took in the pony in my hands and saw that it was nothing more than a filly, just about to become a mare, in what looked like an assassin’s outfit -- complete with wrist-mounted miniature crossbow -- with a burglar’s mask. She had a dark blue coat and a brown mane, her emerald eyes looking into mine with defiance and a bit of fear. The filly, I noticed, had large wings; almost as big as Celestia’s it looked like. That filly is cute and fluffy.

I glanced over at the guards that slid to a stop, they were being led by the current captain; Stronghooves. Once he caught his breath he said, “Thank you for stopping them, your majesty. We will-”

“You will find how they snuck in and make sure no one else can,” I interrupted as I set the filly down and disentangled myself from the pony around my legs, my anger flaring. I walked over and circled him saying, “This is twice. TWICE! In twenty-four hours that someone has been able to sneak in here. What’s the problem here: your stallions and mares aren’t trained enough or nopony really cares about protecting their leaders?”

“But-”

I interrupted him again, stopping in front of him, “I’m talking right now; you listen! I should have your helmet after tonight. Now, go find how they got in or you’ll be court martialed for insubordination.”

He hesitated and I tore into him again, “Very well then, tomorrow night you’re to turn in your armor and receive the plain gold armor of a private. Don’t even think about choosing a replacement, I will choose who it will be.” I waved my hand, dismissing him, “Go find those holes in the defenses and make arrangements for fixing them.”

I turned my attention to Hearth and smiled, “May you please get drinks for my guests and I?”

“Y-yes, your highness,” She said as she bowed and trotted off.

I looked back at the mare and filly who crashed into me, releasing them enough for them to stand up and getting a better look at the two. The mare had a greyish coat and a red mane above blue eyes, which were also defiant and a little curious. She was also in an assassin’s outfit with a burglar’s mask over her eyes.

Now, who are these two? Doesn’t matter, I need their skills to track down commander Hurricane, I thought as I walked over to them again. Once I was in front of the two I said, “How about we go sit down and talk a little?” I turned to head back into my room. “You want to get an even bigger bounty or a way to pay it off?”

I noticed that Rainbow was rubbing an eye when I entered the room and picked her up, sitting back down on the bed. I smiled down at her and rocked her back and forth in my arms, humming to get her back to sleep.

“What was-” I shushed the grey mare. She continued with a softer voice, “What was that about paying bounties off?”

I looked up and fixed the mare with my gaze, “I want you to find some ponies and report their every move. You help with this, you can consider yourselves free ponies. Do it exceptionally well, you will have a job as my personal spies. I will not care how you complete missions and you will have total amnesty from the law.”

“Don’t you have -- I dunno -- hundreds of guards around here to do that for you?” the filly said.

I shook my head. “They clomp around in armor, not exactly what I would consider sneaky. You’ll get great benefits aside from those already mentioned.” Then I realized: this was Sky Runner and her sister Shadow. I can definitely use their skills. I have to make this sweet enough that they can’t turn it down.

They both looked at me suspiciously and said, “what kind of ‘benefits’?”

“Your own quarters in the palace you can use whenever, state of the art equipment, you will be able to appoint your own doctor, unlimited funds when it comes to missions I give you, and you’ll be able to give me one pony’s name so they will have the same as you. Not to mention a thousand bits per month.”

Sky flashed me a smile that didn’t reach her distrustful eyes and opened her mouth. I frowned as I interrupted her, “You lie and just take off, your bounties will change to ‘dead’ instead of ‘dead or alive’ and increased to twenty million. Each. Try to fuck me over, the same thing will be done. I don’t care if you trust me or not, as long as you are truthful your bounty will stay the same.” My face grew harder as I thought of Hurricane. “I want this pony bad enough that I’d tear apart this entire world atom by atom to find him, if I had the power.”

Sky glanced at her younger sister, before saying, “What did this pony you want do?”

Seething with anger and rage, I harshly whispered, “He killed my lover and her sister! With or without your help I will have him in my hand.”

I forced myself to put that away until Hurricane was captured. Once I was calm again I opened my eyes and said, “Celestia was my first love. S-she... gave me Golden and Light. And because of that-... that pegasus they have only me.” Tears streamed down my face as I tried to get my emotions under control again. “I-I... I don’t care what you have to do, who you have to kill, fuck, interrogate, I don’t even care if you have to destroy half of Equestria. As long as Hurricane is in front of me, you’ll be pardoned for everything you have done, you’ll have a room here, I’ll pardon another pony of your choosing, and you’ll get to keep whatever you collect on the way.”

“What about all the rest?” Shadow asked. Both were even more suspicious now.

“That’s if you accept the position as a personal spy for me.”

“I thought that was if we did ‘an exceptional job’?” Sky said.

My smile was hollow as a drained coconut. “Changed because I know who you are now. It’s not often a pair of burglars catch the attention of Luna and even rarer that she talks about them at dinner and breakfast. I had been thinking of approaching you anyways about this, but tonight....” My rage boiled once more as I thought about what happened. “Tonight made it that much more important to me.”

Just then Hearth Flare came in, a tray with three mugs on it in her magic. I forced my anger down again as she passed out the drinks. Once she left Sky spoke again, “We’ll need some time to talk this over.”

I nodded in acquiescence and pulled a cord near the head of the bed. “Ready a room for my guests, they’ll be staying until after the funeral. Make sure they know where everything is as well,” I told the servant that showed up. “And tell the guards that if they touch these two they will be no longer employed.”

Turning back to the two mares, I said, “Please stay out of the restricted sections. There is plenty to explore without going there. If you’ll excuse me, I need to be up in about two or three hours to feed my foals.”

Sky and Shadow nodded and left without another word.

“Would you still like me to write a response to Twilight?” Hearth asked as she stepped into the room again.

I sighed as I laid down and pulled my foals up on top of me, “Tell her that Celestia and Luna are dead and have named me as the next ruler.”

Author's Notes:

Sky Runner and Shadow are Happycamper's OCs. Go read his stuff if you haven't already.

The Warriors' Departure

Firestar jumped up onto the Great Rock in FourTrees, calling his Clan and allies to gather in the clearing. Firestar was a ginger tom, his orange fur shining like a flame in the morning sun. Not even two moons ago, Firestar was granted a leader's gift of nine lives and now he lead an alliance of all the Clans; WindClan, ShadowClan, RiverClan, and his own ThunderClan.

He had convinced Tallstar and Leopardstar to follow him into battle against a Twolegplace Clan called BloodClan and their leader, Scourge. Three days ago Scourge demonstrated his power and strength by killing Tigerstar, the leader of ShadowClan. The deathblow was so severe that Tigerstar lost all nine of his lives to one dog-tooth strengthened paw.

"Why call us when Scourge and his BloodClan are almost on top of us?" Tallstar meowed as he joined Firestar. Tallstar was a black-and-white tom with an abnormally long tail and was the leader of WindClan.

"I had a vision last night, Bluestar and Spottedleaf told me not to fight BloodClan," Firestar said. "They said that a path would be opened here and that we were to walk it if we chose."

"And where is this path you speak of?" Leopardstar asked. Leopardstar was an unusually spotted golden tabby she-cat that lead RiverClan. "Why should we follow a path when we are ready and willing to fight here and now?"

"Because if we fight cats will die. We'll come out on top, but will the clans be able to remain as four?"

"Look, StarClan is moving!" a cat wailed. Even though dawn had come and gone every Cat could still clearly see Silverpelt, the camp of StarClan, in the sky. And it was moving, circling and descending to FourTrees. As they came closer their forms began to come in to focus, showing the recent and long dead cats of the four Clans.

Cats of all Clans watched as their loved ones leaped to the ground next to them, landing among the living and the branches of the trees above the Great Rock.

Bluestar, the previous leader of ThunderClan, landed next to Firestar and meowed, "The leaders of LionClan, TigerClan, LeopardClan, and PantherClan have spoken and decreed that the five clans shall leave this world for another. One where there is no stink of twoleg trash, or their monsters that carry them."

Every cat was stunned into silence. The greatest cats that had ever ruled the forest were those of LionClan, TigerClan, LeopardClan, and PantherClan. They were the ancestors of all cats and their leaders were going to open a path to another world!?

In a flash of light four giant cats, a lion, a tiger, a leopard, and a panther, appeared on the Great Rock standing with their shoulders almost touching.

"StarClan has decided that we shall protect the path until all who wish to go are through," Bluestar continued. "Do not worry, we shall be reborn into the Clans once you have settled."

"But, where shall we live? How shall we hunt?" Leopardstar asked.

"The four Clans shall be given territory by the one many call Grandmother."

I woke to Golden Spark and Light Sweet crawling on me. They were obviously hungry and had been trying to drink from my breast if the wetness of my nightgown was anything to go by.

"Okay, let's-" I yawned, trying to take off my gown. "Let's give you some milk."

While the two foals latched on I stared blearily at the wall, trying to stay awake so I could burp them if I needed to. If only they didn't need to eat every three or four hours. And I didn't take at least an hour to get to bed afterwards.

I sighed, looking down at them. I wish I had more to remember Celestia and Luna by- My head shot up and my hand pulled on the rope next to the bed. While I waited for somepony to respond, I pulled a plan together and took out the tokens I would need to complete it. A few minutes later a servant I didn't recognize came into the room, blushing as he saw my foals were still drinking.

"Yes, your highness?" he asked.

"I would like for you to have five tons of coal delivered to the antechamber in front of the throne room at dusk," I handed him the tokens. "And make sure I am given these when it arrives."

"Y-...yes, your highness."

Author's Notes:

I had been reading the books lately. I am not ashamed, they are very good books.

Next intermission will have some more exposition about what had happened where the cats come from. I do not own the Warriors series or the characters. The one to write the books was Erin Hunter and if anyone is interested in the books themselves, PM me and I'll give you a link to all 47 of the books.

Chapter 14: A Goddess Approaches

“What the fluff did I want with five tons of coal?” I said as I stared at the piles of coal that almost reached the ceiling of the antechamber in front of the throne room, censoring myself in favor of Golden Spark. She had gotten hungry on the walk from the dining room, so I opened the nightgown -- it was called a daygown, but you know about old habits and dying -- I was wearing and let her suckle on my breast until she was full.

I had just finished breakfast when a guard came into the dining room to tell me of the recent delivery followed by Hearth telling me of my late-day demand for the stuff.

“I don’t know, your majesty. You said to not question your idea,” Hearth answered, seemingly unperturbed by my blatant disregard for the modesty nobles set themselves to.

I set Rainbow Dash and Light Sweet down on the floor and sat down, contemplating what my half-asleep mind had come up with. What the fuck am I going to do with this? Why coal? Why this room?

Feeling a bump against my leg I looked down and chuckled. Light had pinned Rainbow in a cuddly hug against my leg, and the trapped filly was trying her hardest to get away. I reached down with my free hand and scratched Dash behind her ears, making her accept her position for the moment.

“You had also said to give you these.”

I looked up and saw two tokens floating in the maid’s magic. They just made me more confused. “How in the flying fluff monster are those going to help me figure out what to do with this flipping coal?”

One was Kat’s gem, the other was a coin with a snake descending from a cloud on one side and a tornado surrounded by a circle of some kind with small dots on it. That’s Typhon’s token.... Let’s see... gravity and wind.... No wait. Coal is just- I sat up a bit straighter as I realized, Pressure and heat.

“I know what I was planning,” I whispered, my vision blurring as I grabbed the two objects. “Kat Shifter, Queen of Gravity, and Typhon, Master of the Breath, I call upon your help to pay homage to those I loved.”

Not even a moment later, Kat tumbled through a portal, her clothes torn and a few burn marks over body while panting hard. "Oh mon dieu, I really need to take care of those things one of these days."

“Hey, Kat.” I said as I took in her appearance, noting that there wasn’t really anything hidden from view. “Man, your boyfriend must be really into BDSM and fire.”

"That's not funny, Max," Kat commented as she laid in the air. She snapped her fingers, a new set of clothes taking place of the remains of the old.

I shrugged, “More censored than what I was thinking.” Golden, having filled herself, bit my nipple as hard as she could. “Gyah! Okay, let’s give you a burp,” I said as I put her to my shoulder and patted her back.

Kat tilted her head. "You start a foal-sitting service?"

I sighed as Golden spit up on a towel Hearth some how got, “No.... I-.... A lot has happened. The short of it is I got together with Celestia, found Rainbow here in a cave, and had twins.” I gestured to the three fillies.

She looked even more confused. "Is it even biologically possible for a human to give birth to foals?"

“Here it is, apparently,” I shrugged. “That or I’m part alicorn.”

"Yesh," she cringed. "It's points like this that make me glad I don't have a womb."

I looked down, trying not to bawl my eyes out again. “I just wish Celestia was able to watch our foals grow into mares....”

Kat blinked. "Uh... Come again?!"

I lifted Light and Rainbow into my lap, setting their sister between them. I sat looking at them for a few minutes before I cracked. “Luna and Celestia were murdered by a pegasus just yesternight,” I said with pure venom and rage. “He’ll know what true torture is once I get my hands around his skinny little neck!”

“H-he... used cursed blades t-to-” I hugged my foals to me and let the tears fall.

Kat's expression was completely neutral. "If you will excuse me for a moment." She disappeared through a portal, coming back a few moments later, gasping for breath and covered in sweat. "I'll apologize to that planet later, you were saying?"

“T-they- they made me-... me their heir!” I wailed as I cast myself into grief once more.

Next thing I know, Kat is hugging me, just giving me a shoulder to cry on.

“A-and they- they gave me t-their m-m-magic and- I- Just- HURRICANE WILL PAY!” All around the room flowers and plants blew away as dust, their Time taken into myself.

I slowly inhaled. No, save it for that stallion. Now isn’t the time to have a red-out, I thought as I breathed. “I-I’m sorry if you got hit by my powers,” I said once I was calmed.

I heard a snapping sound. "I would appreciate not having my clothes destroyed for the third time today. Please be careful from now on."

I pulled back, confused. “Your clothes were all organic?”

"Leather and silk," Kat confirmed.

I cringed, trying to keep my mind clean. “Conflicting interests. Must keep language clean.”

Kat smacked the back of my head lightly. "Not like that!"

I smiled apologetically. “Anyways, I called you to help me with this,” I gestured to the coal in the room. “I want to turn all this into two solid statues of diamond.”

"Hoo," Kat breathed through clenched teeth. "That's gonna be a toughie. I've never done anything bigger than handheld gems."

“Not even your lover?” I raised my hands as Kat tried to smack me again. “Okay, okay! I knew it would be tough. That’s why you would control only the pressure, I would control time, and Typhon would control the heat.”

"Speaking of which," Kat looked around. "Where is that windhead boyfriend of mine?"

Just then the doors at the other end slammed open, Making the piles fall and reveal a wolf just barely able to fit through the doorway. “What is this I hear of my friends being attacked?” the wolf demanded as she shoved her way in.

Once she was in far enough I noticed she was covered in wounds, some still pouring blood. It was almost impossible to discern what color her coat was because of the blood matting her fur but her eyes were as red as apples.

OHMIGOSHIT’SHOLOINTHEFLESH! “Peace, Wise Wolf. You will learn what happened in time. For now let’s take care of those wounds,” I said much more calmly than I felt.

“Keeping your cool under pressure is good and all.” Typhon said from the ceiling. “I still think this is one of those times you can show yourself - just a little.”

"Oh mon dieu!!" Kat jumped at Typhon's voice. "Don't do that!" she practically screeched at him.

Biting back a comment, I said, “I wondered when you would say something.”

“There are things even I cannot do, and places even I cannot go.” He shrugged. “I know it might not do much sense from your point of view.”

He floated down, righting himself as he went. “I know eastern magic - I can see to Holo for the time being while you explain what’s going on.”

“Okay.” I said getting to my feet, still holding Golden, Light, and Rainbow. “You want the long version?”

The wolf nodded, “I am curious as to what beings you are; I have never seen creatures like you in all my travels.”

"We get that a lot," Kat commented.

“It makes for good conversation.” Typhon added. “There’s foul magic in these.”

“Those Pegasi were using tainted weapons. If they hadn’t, they wouldn’t have lasted a second against me.” Holo said with a sneer.

“Commander Hurricane,” I spat out. “He’s the one to blame for Luna and Celestia’s deaths.”

“I hate it when ponies I know did great things have evil alternates I have to stop.” Typhon sighed as he pressed the necklace of Seiryu against one of the wounds to try and cleanse it. “The one I knew about from my world got rid of Able-ists in the - well, in the whole of pony territory.”

“Yeah well, this one is nothing more than a racist prick who killed his second in command when he found out she mated with Starswirl,” Holo said as she tried not to flinch at the cleaning. “Also killed Starswirl and his other mate before those of The Harvest put him in stone.”

“I’m liking this place less and less,” Kat muttered. “Racism is something I don’t handle well.”

“You don’t need to handle him. Once he’s mine, To The Pain will look like a mercy,” I promised.

“Leave some for me,” Holo growled.

“Giving him to you would be a mercy I don’t intend on allowing. If you want to do something, get to him before I do and don’t kill him.”

Laughing a little, Holo said, “If I am a mercy, there is no reason for me to go after him.” She smiled. “I almost feel sorry for him.”

"I'd say something... but he dug his own grave." Typhon looked over the wounds. "This might take a while; your body basically has to knit itself back from... well, from this."

“Oh, that reminds me,” I said, turning to Hearth. “May you please get my bag from my room?”

“Yes, your highness,” She said as she bowed and then walked away.

“I have something that will make you even harder to beat,” I smiled back at Holo. “I bought it while I was... visiting Handsome Jack.”

"I guess a warning about foreign tech from me would come across as hypocritical." Typhon scratched his head. "I think you should pace yourself a little, though; go too fast, and you'll find yourself having gained nothing."

I waved dismissively. “I bought only four shields, a gun, and medical treatment for Rainbow. I’m not going to try to bring in something like the internet or nukes; just enough tech that my foals are protected.”

"Yeah, I know the feeling... Still, don't think I didn't notice." Typhon quirked his brow. "Did you try passing them off as golems, or just went on like they have secret identities?"

“They aren’t golems, they’re AIs that were given completely organic bodies they could connect to.” I explained and then muttered, “That moogle is far too generous for her own good; making me buy more things from her....”

"Of course I know that. I meant, how did you explain them to everypony else?" Typhon slapped his forehead. "I know sufficiently-advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic, but come on, give me more credit."

“You’ve never heard of ‘bio-tech’?” I asked smugly. “Their bodies were manufactured, but they’re organic. I even helped test their reproductive systems, and trust me: they work.”

Typhon's eyebrow couldn't get higher, so he settled for staring for a bit longer than necessary.

"Well, I just arrived. I can't very well know the level of golems there are if I only have two pony-like products of science. Honestly? I've seen a golem Twilight Sparkle, and she's also completely organic, you know? The tells are there, though."

Just then Mun and Sol peeked out from their hiding spots on either side of the stairway and flew over to land by me.

“We aren’t golems, we’re miniature tanks that have been given bodies,” they said in sync. “We were made to our commander’s specifications outside of this universe.”

"I. Know. That." Typhon made a gesture with his hands to punctuate each word. "Did you just tell everyone you are compact war machines indistinguishable from ponies? Or did you have a bit of forethought and hid it? That was my original question."

"You're all being weird, so I'm gonna be over here in the not-weird corner."

“Nope, we were completely honest,” Sol, Mun, and I said at the same time.

“Seriously, even though Pegasi went berserk when Celestia was banished, ponies are much more open to new things than in the show,” I continued. “In fact, no one batted an eyelash when I started sleeping with her.”

“Besides, our war hulls are separate from our avatars,” Sol said. “What you see before you has no weapons and only token defenses.”

"Can we move on please?" Kat asked. "This is gonna start making my head hurt. I've already had my daily dose of pain, thank you."

“Here you are, your majesty,” Hearth said, my bag floating next to her.

Placing my three fillies on Sol’s back, I said, “Thank you, Hearth Flare.”

“What is in there that you wish for me to have?” Holo said, her wounds closing before our eyes.

“It’s a shield. One that’ll almost completely get rid of your weakness to cursed things. Until it breaks, that is,” I answered as I dug in my bag, pulling out a grenade. “NOPE.” I reached back down into the bag and pulled out a bigger version of the legendary Hyperion shield The Bee. “Here we are. You’ll have to be careful when it breaks; it takes about five hours for it to recharge fully and there’s a ten minute wait for it to start recharging.”

Holo raised an eyebrow. “And... this will help me how?”

“It takes the damage for you. All of it until it breaks. That means you can be hit by cursed swords and not even be hurt by them.”

She smiled wolfishly. “I think I’ll go after those pegasi, then.”

“After the funeral?”

Holo nodded solemnly.

"I hope you mean only the ones that followed Hurricane," Kat said with a very slight glare. "you cannot condemn a race for the actions of a select few."

“You dare insinuate that I’m like him?” Holo said, affronted. “I am Holo the Wise Wolf, not some petty commoner wolf.”

“The throne room hasn’t been touched yet if you want to catch their scent,” I suggested, setting the shield down. “Aside from moving the dead out, that is.”

“I shall start there once the funeral is over. For now,” She leaned down, her eyes sparkling. “Do you have any apples?”

“Eating would help, yes.” Typhon nodded. “Still, what did you call me for? I doubt it was just to act as a nurse.”

"Apparently, we're artisans now," Kat said, walking up and giving Typhon a peck on the cheek. "And it's good to see you."

“It’s good to be here, yes.” He held her hand. “Art? That’s a new one, though; never been summoned for art.”

“Yeah... I called you here for helping me with a plan I made while half-asleep,” I chuckled sheepishly. “I want to turn about five tons of coal into two diamond statues of Luna and Celestia and place them on either side of the throne room’s doors.”

I sighed. “I don’t know what I was thinking exactly, but I’d rather do something like this and use my powers than let someone else make something for me.”

“That’s… actually not a bad idea.” Typhon hummed in thought. “And with both of us it won’t take as much alchemic know-how to not screw it up.”

“It’s not so much alchemy as it is producing the conditions for it to form naturally....” I shrugged. “Eh, semantics.”

“Trust me, alchemy can make things much smoother.” He replied as he looked at the coal. “Makes things easy - well, easier - when you already know the normal way; like a shortcut in the interstate highway that gets you to Hawaii.”

“But that makes my part almost unnecessary; I’d be more of an observer than a participant.” I shook my head. “I want to play a part in forming the diamond. It’ll take more power and concentration, but it’ll be more satisfying on my part at least.”

“Well, then that’s even easier on my end.”

At that moment, a loud growl was heard. Typhon and I turned to Kat who was blushing. "Ehehe, sorry. Haven't had a proper meal in about a month, so I guess I'm a little hungry. Think we could discuss the details over lunch?"

“It is nearing lunch time.” Sol said as her own stomach growled.

Light reached towards me grunting and wiggling her wings and Rainbow pointed to her mouth.

“Okay, let’s go to the dining room.” I turned to Hearth. “Please get Holo some wheat so she can fit in the hallways.”

“I am not fat!” The wolf in question said indignantly.

“I didn’t say anything of the sort,” I said as I exposed my right breast and let Light latch on, turning to walk to the dining room.

"Come on, Ty!" Kat said, dragging her boyfriend by the hand. "I can't wait to tell you everything that's happened in the last three years."

“If I were anyone else, I’d have trouble with the idea of temporally-inconsistent relationships.” He said as he simply levitated a little off the ground; Kat wasn’t going to let him catch up on his own, most likely.

Kat ignored his comment. "I met so many people, learned a lot, got Cancer, and made some new friends," she listed off, catching up to us quickly.

“Try making the temporal disturbances yourself and being the only one to notice them.” I said, opening a door and then closing it with a sigh. “Over half a year and I still don’t know the layout of the castle.”

Kat deadpanned at Typhon. "Seriously? Nothing when I just casually mention having Cancer? ...oh who am I kidding. You're impossible to surprise."

“Interjecting something is kind of hard in these conditions.” He replied. “And I’m sure I’d be more worried if we were back on, say, Earth. Harder to get a decent doctor, you see.”

"Would you like to meet Cancer?" Kat asked, a glimmer of mischief in her eye.

“I can see the capital letters, too.” He rolled his eyes. “There’s subtitles to everything everyone says… and some things they don’t, but that’s mostly me. But yes, yes I’d like to meet him - assuming I don’t end up getting bit.”

I stopped and looked at Typhon, a devious smirk on my face as I thought of Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and I eating each other out and using strapons to fuck each other silly. You wanna read my mind more?

"Cancer is a girl, Ty," Kat corrected. A second later, Kat's left arm was covered in what looked like red sludge. "Typhon, Max, meet my symbiote, Cancer. She was a gift from another Displaced."

“First - Max, it’s written all over your face you are thinking of something naughty, but I don’t read read minds - that easy, anyways; second, as long as the symbiote is not working off of your hormones, I can’t think of a better partner than one you can’t be separated from without a really damn good fight.” Typhon then waved a little. “Hello, Cancer; I hope things work out between the both of you.”

“Looks like she’s younger than Rainbow. Nice to meet you, little one,” I said as I turned to continue walking. Damn, Thought I made the image strong enough.

The sludge shivered in response. "Yeah, she's still very young. Can't even speak yet. But we have been practicing her special technique." Kat flexed her arm and it transformed into a massive blade. "Doesn't last long, but she's very effective."

“I’ll say; it’s creativity like that what makes abilities worth it.” He twirled his hand, and there was a small metallic crossbow bolt on his hand. “I’ve been practicing psychokinesis, and I think I can imitate some of Clover’s moves.”

"Cool!" Kat exclaimed as Cancer slithered out of sight. "See, it's stuff like this that make me know we're a good couple." She slid up against him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

I flinched as I opened the next door. “Here we are. Let’s grab a seat,” I said, almost speed walking into the room.

"Great! I'm starving!"

“... I could use a bite to eat.” Typhon mumbled, having caught the subtext of that.

As I walked to the table I noticed that a tan pony with red eyes and white tufts on her ears was seated near the close end almost covered in apples completely, the pile almost filling the table. The pony had an apple in her hoof about to take a bite, revealing canines larger than a Thestral’s.

"Woah!" Kat exclaimed. "Vampire bat pony. Haven't seen one of those in a while."

The pony blushed and said, “I suppose I asked for a bit much....”

“That’s your dinner as well as your lunch, Holo,” I said with a playful frown.

"Oh, wolf pony. My bad. Heh, Ben would love that scan."

I sat down at the end of the table. “Might not like the addiction to apples, though.”

“It’s better than a vampire fruit-bat pony; might make it a mite hard to focus.” Typhon held out a pair of chairs with the wave of a hand, toying around with the bolt on the other. “After you.”

"Aw, so thoughtful," Kat said, taking the offered seat. "Before we go, I want to get blood sample from Holo. I never did get Ben a birthday gift."

I picked up an apple and bit into it wordlessly as the others sat down, Sol and Mun giving me worried glances.

“I think you are going a little too fast there, Kat.” Typhon tapped the bolt on the table. “Things like blood are usually fifth-date shenanigans.”

"That is not what I meant and you know it!" Kat said, blushing profusely.

“I would not agree to it anyways,” Holo said, biting into an apple. “I have lost enough blood for the next century.”

"Just some hairs then?" Kat asked nicely. "Just a bit of DNA is all I ask."

“I think she was pointing you to the blood she lost on the way in. There might be some that didn’t get on the coal,” I spoke up.

"Oh." She turned to Typhon. "Remind me to grab some of that blood, would you? Please and thank you."

“What would everypony like to eat?” A waiter asked, having come from the kitchen and looking expectantly at Typhon and Kat.

“I have some on me; I was cleaning the wounds.” He absent-mindedly made the bolt spin over the tip of his finger. Neat trick, the point didn’t even touch him even if it looked like it; made good armor, too. “I’ll take a salad, so long as it doesn’t have grass or flowers - can’t process those, you see.”

"Thank you, Ty. I'll take some meat if you've got any. Rare if you could."

Nodding, the waiter turned and walked to the door leading to the kitchens. Only to be run over by two Thestrals carrying three pies each, sending the ponies tumbling to the floor and the pies into the air.

Typhon watched as the pies flew through the air. He debated on the proper way to retrieve them, if it was to be done simply, if he wanted it to be showy, it was like they were frozen in mid-air while he thought. He simply waved a hand and caught them as they were, not feeling motivated to do much more than that, and brought them over to the table.

“You don’t have to resort to stealing to eat, Sky, Shadow,” I said, finally getting something to smile at.

“Yeah well, you didn’t include free eating in your deals,” Sky said as she untangled herself and stood up.

“I had thought that it was obvious enough not to mention.”

“You need to say room and board. It’s almost tradition.” Typhon eyed the new arrivals, then Max. “I’d invite you over, but it’s not my table...”

“I know it is, but I thought that when I offered them a room here they would assume that they could order things from the kitchens,” I explained. “You may join us if you wish.”

“What did you expect? Two burglars to not try to raid the kitchen?” Shadow asked as she trotted over to a chair. “It would’ve happened anyways.”

“That much is true.” Typhon nodded slightly. “Midnight snack runs, at the least.”

"Oh mon dieu that little one is so fluffy!" Kat squeed. "I want to hug her and squeeze her and call her Jane!"

“Hey, I do have a name already!” Shadow snapped, her fur fluffing up a bit. “And if you try, you’ll get more than you bargained for.”

“The tough talk isn’t as impressive if you melt down at ear scratchies.” Typhon waved the bolt. “I can see it; you’ll melt.”

Shadow was lifted into the air by Kat's powers and brought over to the gravity girl. It ended with an immediate glomp. "She's so fluffy I'm gonna die!" Kat cooed, hugging the poofy thestral.

Without warning two darts hit Kat, one in the back of her neck the other on the front, knocking her out with the green liquid they injected. Unfortunately -- for Shadow -- the filly was stuck in the embrace.

“She needs to learn more restraint, that’s true, but do remember that the next time you try hitting her with- well, anything, remember that there are others much faster than you, that can see nearly anything you might think of doing before you even realize you want to move, and can do this.” Typhon didn’t move, didn’t gesture, didn’t even glow; the darts were removed, then poked into both of them. He knew they were empty now, but the message would be very clear.

“No one gets away with hugging me....” Shadow pouted.

“I have to disagree; your retaliation backfired horribly, and mine hasn’t.” Typhon chuckled as he prevented Kat’s arms from being pried open from the outside. “And you’ll have to think twice before trying that with me. Let her hug you; you need hugs - you are a pony.”

“I DON’T NEED HUGS! I’M A BADASS, BADASSES DON’T NEED HUGS!” she shouted squeakily, glaring at Typhon. Her fur was as fluffy as it could get.

“Language,” I said, shaking a finger at the filly. “My foals are in the room and awake, I won’t have them learning that kind of language until they’re grown.”

“I’LL FUCKING CURSE IF I WANT TO, NOPONY WILL GET ME TO STOP!”

"Hehehe..." Typhon chuckled evilly as he contemplated his next feat of air control, perhaps simply muting her curse-words out? It would be easy, like applying whiteout on schoolwork. Perhaps replacing them with underscores.

"I'm not a pony. Currently." He helpfully pointed out.

Kat stirred awake, still not releasing the filly. Letting out a huge yawn, she asked, “Did I miss anything?”

"Look out, we've got a- snerk! I can't do it with a straight face!" Typhon's snorting sort of laugh didn't help, even if he tried in vain to cover his face. "She's too cute for her own good, and image."

Kat blinked, looking at her boyfriend. “Okay, seriously, what did I miss that could make Typhon laugh? He rarely laughs.”

"I laugh all the time... sometimes you just aren't there." He shrugged. "Still, the fierce warrior in your arms has a... strong difference of opinion with you."

She pouted for a second, hugging Shadow closer. “That’s it. I’m canceling my further travels. I’m gonna start staying around home more often.”

"Won't that cause a paradox? I'm pretty sure we're not matching up right now; or that could be the side-effect of my Science Fugue..." Typhon scratched the top of his head. "I went to work on a new golem, then I blink, and I have an automatic teapot that's too strong, the framework for the body, and I'm sure I saw you... or I mixed up the tea and Zecora's herbs."

“Typhon, sweetie, you’re making my head spin again.”

"Long story short; I am halfway done, I made a portable smelter, and I'm not leaving my tea to what I get at random out of my stuff."

“I think you mixed up your tea again, dear. I’ve already gotten the paradox lecture before. Besides, I thought you’d like having me around more.”

"I do; I just don't want to find out the effects of unstable time-travel." Typhon grimaced. "Might, you know, erase an event, if not one of us."

“I’ll be careful when I return. I may not have the kind of powers you do, but I can handle myself in the Void… when I’m not being hunted by Daleks, that is.”

"It'd be better if I were actually Void, or Space, or Time... or simply a dark/light mage... I keep forgetting just how unlikely my own travelling is; then again, I threw myself at it until the world(s) simply gave up and let me get away with it." Typhon smiled at that. "Still, of the two, what do you think are worse, Daleks, or Cybermen?"

“Cybermen, definitely Cybermen.” Kat shuddered. “That was such a freaky experience. Daleks are easy to handle, but Cybermen just give me the creeps.”

Through all of this I was watching Shadow get petted absently, each stroke and scratch wearing down her protests and resolve until she squeaked out, “Okay, fine. I-I’ll- Oh stars that’s good!”

“Less than five minutes and you already have her begging for more?” Sky said with a sly smile, “This is definitely blackmail worthy.”

“Buck you. You’re just jealous.” Shadow stuck out her tongue at Sky.

“There isn’t a way to erase events. You can make them smaller or bigger, but they’ll happen no matter what,” I said, lifting Light to my shoulder and patting her back. “Everything happens in one way or another....”

"Where I'm from, it's possible, and so is in other places. It's called a Ret-con." Typhon smiled. "I can, and I have, changed things. I only know for sure because I already have, although I need to find out how I did it so I can do it. I'm not going in blind like Marty and the Doc, although I do like the car's design..."

Kat smiled, scratching Shadow’s ears again. “Just wait for your birthday, Typhon.”

"I'm sure it'll be excellent."

She then blinked. “Actually… I don’t think I even know when that is. Did we ever even tell each other our birthdays?”

"Both are in October. Seventeenth and... I don't think I was told that." Typhon tapped his chin. "Yours, I wasn't told told,I remember that much."

“Twenty-seventh, dear. And I’ll make sure I remember.”

"Me too."

Watching the waiter come back with everyone’s food I said, “It’s the way I understand what I was shown during my first trip through the void. I know it isn’t true everywhere and for everyone, but it’s part of my Truth; my way of viewing the multiverse.”

"Ah! That. Yes, things never truly 'vanish', but it would be like hearing like an alternate version of yourself died. There's involvement, but, honestly, other than trying again and averting the paradox, there's little that you can do about it. I'm doing it because I'm not erasing the reason for the travel in the first place; else, I'd need a reason beyond 'to avert a paradox'." Typhon shrugged as he poked at his salad. "The events shaped a lot of lives, and I can't very well direct that much change at once."

“Can we stop talking about time and paradoxes? My mind’s going in circles trying to follow this,” Sky whined.

“M-may I please- EEP!- eat lunch?” Shadow asked, still under assault from Kat.

“Are you gonna behave?” she asked with a little sterness.

“Yeeeeeeessss....” Shadow groaned as Kat found a sensitive spot.

"There's a reason humans evolved fingers, you know." Typhon chuckled as he took a bite of salad.

“More than one, I should think,” I gave Shadow a devious grin. “And you’re experiencing all ten.”

Kat pulled over hers and Shadow's plate, simple feeding the filly with her powers while keeping her calm. "So Max, let's get down to the nitty gritty."

“What about? The statues are pretty much straightforward,” I said as I took another bite from the apple.

"Still, I think that she means that there is something else you want to ask of us." Typhon then gestured to Kat and himself. "It may not be a conscious thought yet, but I can tell you would like something else as well..."

I scratched my head, trying to figure out what he meant. What does that mean? Does he mean now or when I first thought of making the statues? Giving up, I said, “I don’t know what I was thinking last day; I don’t even remember feeding Light and Golden.”

"Not even seeing if there is something we could do to find your targets?" Typhon gave her a side glance as he ate another bit of salad. "Nothing at all?"

“Shadow and I were going to do that,” Sky said through a mouthful of pie. “Not that difficult to spot a group of pegasi flying around.”

“Besides, I was going to release Discord to help.” I raised a hand to stop the objections I thought were about to be voiced. “I know he isn’t well-mannered at times-”

"That's like saying a hurricane is a little windy. But I see the logic - insomuch as 'logic' can be applied to him."

“Yes, he would be the second most likely to be able to find Hurricane. The first being Sky and Shadow here, with their... less than legal contacts.”

"Oh. Well, that's that." Typhon shrugged. "I know the feeling of getting something done yourself. Then, could it be something to do with the foals? Or security in general?"

Pulling my mind’s defences up I thought, Kat did say that she would welcome Celly and I if we wanted to join them.... “No, nothing like that.... But even with Rainbow and Golden and Light.... I can’t-... I just feel like I’m completely alone,” I finally got out. “I used to like being alone, reveled in it even, but now it’s unbearable. I could barely stand being in Jack’s universe for only five days.”

"I get that." He replied, nodding in appreciation. "It can be overwhelming - loneliness, that is. It takes only a moment for one to be left wondering, 'how could I ever have lived like that?' Yet, we are never truly 'alone'. Not even death and time can change that."

“I know how I did,” I muttered, then said, “‘You never truly appreciate what you have until it’s taken from you....’ I didn’t believe that saying once.” I sighed, fighting off tears. “Now, it’s painfully true.” I held Light Sweet closer, trying to draw comfort from her tiny hooves.

I heard a flapping of wings before grey hooves wrapped around me. After a few minutes I heard Sky say, “I’m truly sorry about your loss.... It’s scary to think about, but I don’t know what I would do without Shadow by my side now.” She paused and whispered, “I hope I never have to find out....”

“Are you completely against bringing them back?” Kat asked, finally finishing her meal. “I mean, there have to be some ways to bring Celestia and Luna back.”

“They didn’t want me to save them,” I whispered. “The-they wanted t-to die....”

“Are you sure?” Kat asked, returning to petting Shadow in full. “You did say the weapon that killed them was cursed. That could have been a factor.”

“And risk killing them myself? I have no idea how their wounds would react if I tried to rewind time.” Tears were rolling down my face at this point, my lunch forgotten. “T-they reminded me that we don’t know exactly how my powers work or what they effect.”

“I didn’t mean just your powers, Maxie,” Kat said, trying not to start crying from seeing me like that. “There are Displaced and other creatures out there that don’t need time travel to restore someone, or someponies. I just don’t want to see you like this anymore.”

“What she is trying to say is that cursed weapons are more than deadly to those of us who are immortal,” Holo said. “That’s how I became the ‘Goddess’ of the Wheat Harvest. So too with the others of The Harvest.”

Kat snaps her fingers a little card appears in front of me. “Just… just at least take this. You can use it to bring in someone who could help you understand time. And maybe, just maybe, help use your powers to save them. At least think on it? Please?”

I nodded and took the card, not seeing anything on it. It was just a blank business card. “How do I get in touch with him?” I asked.

“When the time is right, you’ll know. I know it’s cliche, but just trust me on this, okay?” She looked at me with a sad smile. “I just want to see you happy again.”

How did I make such an impression on her? I’ve only spoken with her once, and that was months ago, I thought, still keeping my mind hidden. I hope I don’t ever lose her friendship.

I looked at Kat, tears streaming down my face now. “I-I....” I shook my head, trying to find the words. Eventually I settled on saying, “Th-thank you. I don’t know what I’ve done to warrant this, but thank you.”

“You’re my friend,” she reached out and grasped my hand. “I’d do anything for my friends.”

I pulled her into a hug and whispered, “If you ever need anything -- anything -- You can count on me to help.”

She hugged back. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“That goes for everyone here,” I said out loud. “If you’re in trouble, come find me. I’ll do my best to help you.”

"It goes without saying I'll also help where I can." Typhon smiled, twirling the bolt. "Even if all you need is an open ear."

"Enough sad talk, though," Kat said. "We have two great ponies to honor."

"That we do. I actually have experience with making statues, given that that is what most golems start as; first, though, is if there are any details in particular or a specific pose... maybe even a controlled addition of 'impurities' to make them colored?"

“I want them to be rearing back with their wings out, heads held high and horns crossing in the middle of the door,” I said, wiping away a tear. “I want them to look exactly like they were when they were alive down to the cutie marks.”

"Once we get the raw chunks ready, then that'll be possible, yes." Typhon nodded, eyes going back and forth as he imagined the procedure. "I'll do it down to the feathers, even."

“I would like clean lines between the colors, if we can get it to cooperate. Oh, Typhon, this Celestia had a pink coat if you haven’t already heard it from the wind.”

"All of them do, almost; what varies is the intensity. Still, just because I have some psychic powers doesn't mean I'm psychometric - like that." Typhon eyed her strangely. "Would've made my life one heck of a lot easier. I hear things people say, or imply, or refrain from saying, but speech is still a part of it."

I shrugged, “I don’t pretend to know how your powers work, nor do I think I’ll be able to. I just said that because they’re related to air.

“I think we should get the details of the statues hashed out before we start crushing coal; make sure we’re all on the same page and have the same thing in mind. And yes, the statues will be solid diamond and afterwards enchanted to make sure that if someone gets the idea to try to steal or damage them, they’ll get caught no matter what and most likely will be permanently scarred.”

"While I don't agree with that last bit, as accidents can and will happen, my studies of Crystal Empire magic can help with enchanting gemstones, particularly ones that big - most Equestrian gem magic revolves around shards and small stones, rather than, say, the entire freakin' city." Typhon pointed out. "It's both fascinating, and a little scary, once you think about it."

“There’ll be spikes of diamond going into the floor, and I’ll make sure there are strengthening enchantments on them as well. As for the supposed thieves, they’ll have to actually produce enough force to crack regular diamond before they get hurt,” I took another bite from my abandoned apple. “I’ve thought of every enchantment they’ll ever need to stay put; trust me, not even these two would be able to steal part of one of the statues.” I gestured to the two Thestral thieves.

"You do realize that diamonds are actually rather brittle? Hard, yes; difficult to scratch, yes... but hardly the invulnerable stone that games and movies make it out to be." Typhon pointed out yet again. "And speaking like that is just asking for trouble - the more 'absolute' something is, the easier it is to break. Put conditions on it, it'll make it more robust. I speak from experience - conditional immortality, here."

“Diamonds are the fourth strongest material in this universe, only beaten by titanium, -- the pure stuff, not a compound -- Elementium, and changeling saliva.”

"I guess titanium means some other material in this place..." Typhon mused. "Still, probably magic, or some code or psychic construct. I then retract the objection."

“Gold’s actually the tenth strongest here; One of the blacksmiths gave me a lecture on how good a compound of Elementium, titanium, and gold is and how to shape the metal into armor.” I glanced at Kat, noticing how shocked she was. “Yeah, that’s how I reacted. Anyways, guard armor gets more Elementium the further up the ranks you go, which leads to the different colors on the actual plates.... I could probably write a paper on how to work the metals no matter what the ratio is.”

"I learned similar - though the strong stuff is... well, it's like gold, but magical - plain gold is like back on Earth, a good whack and it bends." Typhon rubbed his forehead. "My... 'specialty' would be the wrong word - 'focus', yes - my 'focus' is more about how to make different things work towards an end goal, so I've done a bit of everything, including studying materials."

I looked over and saw that Kat was actually writing everything down. “This will be great stuff for my thesis!” she said excitedly.

“As much as I’d like to geek out over all the different universes’ metals, I don’t think my guests would appreciate listening to us ramble on,” I said with a giggle.

"Well, it's still relevant - we don't want to put too much weight in the wrong spots."

“Doesn’t mean you can bore us to death,” Sky muttered to Holo, the wolf nodding in agreement.

"I'll build a greenhouse if you want." Typhon rolled his eyes. "Let's see what you think then."

“Will it be filled with Zap apple trees?” Holo asked, saliva dripping from her mouth. “And will it be able to produce them no matter what?”

"If you want - I have control over the weather, so I can cycle things, enchant the supports... every three months or so it could produce a crop." Typhon made a quick sketch on a notepad that appeared out of a brown card. "Usually, they take the whole year, save for the few that produce them... at random."

The wolf-pony was suddenly leaning against Typhon, nuzzling his arm and shoulder as she said, “I am exceedingly grateful for this.... Maybe you’d like some company tonight?”

“Great, somepony that’s more focussed on sex than my sister,” Shadow groaned.

“Hey, I resemble that remark!” Sky snapped, her eyes glittering mischievously.

Kat glared at Holo, growling slightly. “Back off, furry. He’s mine.”

"I don't think she supports your idea." Typhon told Holo.

“Well if you’re willing to share for the night....” Holo trailed off. Everyone knew what she was saying.

“Mine,” Kat snarled.

"This isn't something to be discussing at the table, you know." He reminded them. "Besides, we're talking about building things."

“He’s right, Holo; there are foals present,” I said, trying to keep her from actually putting her hoof in her mouth.

“You know, I wouldn’t mind a roll in the hay,” Sky said, giving the wolf-pony a saucy look.

“We’re just going to go do maintenance on our hulls,” Sol said as she and her twin almost galloped to the door.

“Make sure you use the proper lubrication,” I called after them.

“Jeez, it’s like this entire world is kinky,” Kat commented.

“You don’t wanna know what Discord did to the adult store then,” Shadow said with a shudder.

“...you have piqued my curiosity.”

Shadow leaned up and whispered in Kat’s ear. I knew what she was talking about; the damn thing went right by where I had been standing, trying to go after the Elements. I don’t know why Discord thought of turning all those toys into an octopus, but it was funny seeing it fly away after Applejack bucked it out of the maze.

“Fine, I guess I’ll settle for the thief,” Holo said with a pout. She slowly walked away, making her flank sway as she did so. “You both are missing out on thousands of years of experience, though.”

“I don’t share the love of my life, Holo.”

"There are a few things I find odd about that statement, but I understand the intent." Typhon rubbed his forehead yet again. "Still, she's not asking for marriage, and I think I remember something you had said, Kat..."

Kat muttered something under her breath, looking away before turning back to Typhon. “And what was that, dear?”

Maybe it has something to do with saying I could join you two once in a while? I thought, trying not to let Typhon notice it. I was tempted to say it, very tempted, but I knew it would only lead to a one night stand at the most. She probably means “without an invitation” anyways.

"Something about an invitation? You said you met Max once already..."

Kat blushed profusely. “That was different… it was supposed to be two sets of lovers having fun.”

“You’re still noticing my thoughts?” I huffed. “I guess my training with Discord isn’t worth dirt, then.”

“You shouldn’t let him teach you anything anyways,” Holo said, sitting back down on her side of the table. “He’s the youngest of the immortals -- aside from Cadence, that is -- and doesn’t know as much as the rest of us.”

"Masking the direction of your thoughts is much harder than hiding the thoughts themselves, you know. Also Discord, in my world, is the complete opposite - he knows things; he knows exactly what he's doing, how it's done, why it happens, and that's besides his sheer power and finesse." Typhon grimaced. "Chaos, after all, includes Order by necessity; it's just less... restrained. Also, I don't find ponies attractive as a human, and I don't really think of humans as lovers as a pony."

Holo hummed thoughtfully, “I think I’d like to meet that Discord. If only to have someone to carry on a decent, intelligent conversation with. I’ll leave my offer open for the both of you, incase you decide you’d like to see what I know.”

“Anyways, let's get on to where everyone’s going to be sleeping for now,” I said.

"Technically, I don't need sleep anymore, but Kat and I would need... privacy." Typhon knew exactly what he was doing speaking like that.

“Luna’s rooms haven’t been messed with yet. Just ask a guard where they are. You might like how soft and... firm the bed is.”

“I’ll just take up a corner of the gardens for myself,” the tan wolf said.

Kat blushed a little from what we were implying. She stood up, taking Typhon by the arm. "I suppose we'll see you in the morning then, Max. Sleep well." The guards lead the couple off into the castle.

Dammit. Now who’ll I get to sleep next to me? I thought, making sure I didn’t show my frustration. I guess I’ll just have to ask one of the guards, then.... “You can bet I won’t.” I muttered then said, “I guess we did spend the whole night talking. I’ll see you in the evening, Sky, Shadow.”

Author's Notes:

HOLY SHIT! This is the longest chapter I've written for this story so far.

Yup. Doing a crossover with DJ and Archmage.

Holo is from Spice and Wolf. Go look it up and watch it, it's a good anime and an even better manga.

Chapter 15: Grandmothers and Breakfast

“Ugh.... I think I need to start drinking coffee.”

It was the evening before the funeral, and apparently I had ordered more things while I was half asleep. I was staring sleepily at a bell taken from Starswirl’s hat, some ornamental wing blades, and a purple scale that was taken from Spike when he arrived with the other five Element Bearers a few hours earlier.

“You do know how much caffeine it’ll need just to perk you up,” Sol said, downing her third cup of the liquid.

I groaned, letting my head hit the table. “I wish this world had ‘Dew....”

"Mountain Dew?" Typhon glanced to my zombified form.

“Yeah, it’s the only soda I drink when I go to Taco Bell or any other place that has it.” I pulled my arms up and rested my head on them, looking at the small pile of objects in front of me. “I had almost made my own flavor with twice as much caffeine as the regular when I went to that 'con.”

Kat made a strange face. “...that just puts nightmares in my head if certain ponies got a hold of that stuff.”

“.... Oh god that’s a scary thought; Pinkie drinking Mountain Dew.”

"Four times out of five, the results are actually underwhelming, if there are any. You do need to watch out for the remaining one time." Typhon pursed his lips. "I rarely stocked soda in my inventory - well, rarely this last century, once soda started to gain ground on the market and I could get any I wanted, when I wanted it."

“You mean the living soda pony?" Kat asked. "Oh, what was her name? ...it’s on the tip of my tongue....satané, I can’t remember.”

“.... Living soda pony?” My confusion was clear on my face.

“Typhon’s Discord had quite the imagination. He created ponies made of food, for instance. I remember the soda pony and cotton candy pony, but I don’t know if he made any others.”

"No, I mentioned a taffy pony being made by Discord. The soda pony was an honest-to-goodness magical 'mistake'; ever heard about too many cooks spoiling the broth? Try too many ponies trying to disenchant and/or protect themselves from another's case of unicorn flu." Typhon clutched his fork. "It was beautiful in the sense of all those things coming together and making a pony out of a few bottles of Doctor Pepper... then we find out it can happen under... different circumstances."

“Oh, whatever,” Kat waved off. “My brain’s wobbly, too ya know. Can’t be expected to remember every last tiny little detail.”

“Damn, talk about harsh,” I said, trying not to think of how painful it would be to be told you were an accident.

"Harsh? What, the accident? They threw her a party. She's good, and has a good life." Typhon rolled his eyes. "Like humans don't know about creating life by 'accident'. Rubber breaks sometimes, you know."

I gave Typhon a blank stare. “Rubber?”

"Contraception." Typhon shrugged. "I take it you didn't... I can't seem to word that in a way it doesn't sound bad. Suffice to say, you better abstain until you figure out something that works on you."

“Contra-what?” I shook my head. “Nevermind. Where I’m from everyone learns about ‘the birds and the bees’ in kindergarten. Everyone knows to not have sex unless they want children.”

“Wow, that’s kinda odd, honestly. In the Midwest that kinda stuff doesn’t come until middle school and even then we were taught about condoms and birth control… not that that the two of us need either of those things,” Kat said offhandedly.

“What part; Oklahoma, Kansas?”

“Little more to the north; Nebraska.”

“Ah, I’m from Texas myself. Never really left the state once my family moved there from Florida.”

"It's easy to take this tone as a simple tan, particularly since sunlight doesn't really have much of an effect anymore thanks to my ring, but I'm Latino." Typhon clarified. "South of Texas. Right in the plateau."

“You do still have a slight accent. I had thought you were from New Mexico,” I said, a smile working its way onto my face.

“Mmm, no wonder you’re sexy,” Kat teased with a smirk. “Never thought I’d find myself a Latin lover of all things~.”

"Accent? If anything, the way I enounce, given my rickety progress, makes me sound a little English - so I was told." He shrugged indifferently. "Still, I did learn piano and guitar the first time I was a teen..."

“I’ve been listening to Spanish for so long that I can tell if someone’s Latino or just spoke it for a few years,” I explained. “If I had a mind that could learn more than one language I’d be speaking Spanish fluently right now.”

“Trust me,” Kat groaned. “It’s not as grand as you think, speaking another language.”

"It isn't when it's unwilling, yes." Typhon tilted his head. "And I don't think that's how accents work. If anything, I've spoken 'English' for so long, and around so many 'native' speakers, that I've self-corrected. Maybe it was just gut-feeling? That's a thing that exists in places like these."

“Maybe, I’ve been able to tell no matter what the evidence against it was,” I said, nonplussed. “Still, it’s always been a mark against me when I tried to get a job.” I waved a hand. “Anyways, do you two have any idea what these are for?”

"You said something about making arrangements for the funeral before going to sleep; my guess is that this is related but you were so tired your memory fizzled out."

“No, I remember that part and then going to sleep-” I slapped a hand to my forehead. “with my head resting on the pages of Celestia’s diary.”

"You'd think that'd be too important to forget, but not everyone can be one of God's blessed few; the morning people." Typhon ate a piece of bacon, then started on the hash browns. "Mind you, you're lucky you didn't wake up with her poetry all over your face."

I laughed, “I am a morning person, as long as I get at least five hours of uninterrupted sleep.” My smile slowly faded as I thought of what I remembered from the book. “She didn’t have poetry in there....”

“Are you alright, Max?” Kat asked, sounding comforting.

I shuddered. “Celestia had to have been taken over by a malevolent force, twisted into a proud and arrogant caricature that wanted nothing more than her own sister’s death.... T-there were many half-completed plans pointing to nothing else.” I whispered, “Where I fell asleep a cold, heartless being had been writing....”

“That remains a constant, it seems,” Kat muttered. “One of the princesses falls to the dark side and attempts to overthrow the other. But every time, deep down, their true self was trying desperately to break free.”

I looked up at Kat, guilt and regret clearly written on my face. “I told them. I told them that she would fall, that there was no other path to take. It would end with her triumph, or her imprisonment....”

"There's always a path; I've seen it, believe me." Typhon looked at both girls with a smile. "It's hard, true, and sometimes the chances are bad... but there is always something, like a Twilight Sparkle lost in the timestream, or... or sometimes it's a ploy of Luna's to prevent Celestia's own fall. Stories are a little bit different for every bit they are the same."

Looking down, I thought, There always is, but I took those other paths from them when I gave them my prophecy. “I know I should read everything in there, but I won’t be able to stand that madness again,” I said finally.

"I know that look - see, you might have told them, reduced their options in their eyes, but sometimes that's the best move. Leave too many paths, and you get lost; Celestia tends to be too arrogant or near-sighted to find her way properly. It's the reason Luna goes mad from isolation." Typhon tapped his fork on his plate. "Luna is... tends to vary, but she's not exactly the paragon of foresight."

“Nearsighted! That’s it!” I reached into my bag and, pulling out the diary, turned to a page near the front. “Here it is: Holo herself telling Celly and Luna how to get into the royal catacombs!”

"Nice; I'm assuming a magical lock of some kind?" Typhon asked with a growing amount of mirth. "Or a series of them - why have two doors if both are opened with the same key?"

“It’s not just a magical lock that’s protecting the catacombs,” I said with a grin. “The best guard in the universe patrols right in front of it.”

“Gandalf?” Kat asked with a little smile.

"A Sniper Joe." Typhon chuckled.

“Gandalf isn’t a guard, he’s a wizard!” I said, jokingly taken aback, “I’m talking of Fluffy’s bigger cousin; Cerberus.”

“Fluffy’s better,” Kat grumbled. “Never liked bulldogs like Cerberus.”

“That’s why I said bigger, though Cerberus isn’t a bulldog here. He’s a mastiff, like Hercules from the Sandlot movies.”

"Dogs get confused around me - anything that relies that much on smell does." Typhon commented. "I swish the Breeze, then bam, instant omnipresence of scent. Not hyperbole; it covers everywhere."

“His nose relies on magic, if he senses you doing that, he’ll think of it as an attack. I’d rather not have to dodge those stalactite teeth of his,” I said nervously.

"Magic? You think I use magic? It's the manipulation of reality itself... and it's not like I didn't do it already. He's going to have to... deal with it." Typhon then put on a pair of shades over his glasses, even though it looked a little silly. "Pfft, magic. He's going to have to become unable to rely on his nose like any other person."

“Dear, please take those off. They make you look dorkier than you should.” Kat took a sip of her coffee. “I don’t use magic either. My gravity and energy powers are something different.”

“Still, I don’t know if he could sense the disturbance. It’ll be better to be cautious around him,” I said, still a bit put off by what I had read. “He used to be a very powerful demon that could tear holes into other universes until those of The Harvest bound him to the gates of Tartarus in an effort to keep him from unleashing his army on the multiverse.”

"Those are a pain, yes." Typhon pursed his lips as he took his shades off. "But there are others, even without counting us, that have similar powers, sometimes because of an object, and can bind him into a single instance - the Chrono Cross comes to mind."

“And how many would have fallen before that bloodthirsty army was stopped? How many would have been left slaughtered in their wake? Even Barbaroi, the dragon of the Hunt, wouldn’t allow that price on his conscience,” Holo said.

"You'd be surprised - pleasantly so." Typhon said. "That kind of things attract attention before they start - the residents of the In-Betweens tend to dislike demonic armies traipsing all over the place, go figure. Fate and Destiny don't manage themselves."

I snorted derisively, “Fate. I’d sooner it didn’t exist.”

"It's as valid as a road on the ground - the trick, however, is that you can chose another, or make one yourself." Typhon retorted. "Fate and Destiny are relatively neutral, like Life itself - it's when someone starts driving that things can get... less-than-pleasant. Look at me, since it was 'Fate', if a borrowed one, what let me become what I am."

Hmph, Fate favors some over others, then, I thought, before saying, “Fine, I’ll save my anger for Hurricane alone.”

"I'd say something - again - but yeah; he has it coming, and it's no-ones fault but his." Typhon shrugged; defending the bad guys had a point of diminishing returns. "He attacked the nation with the intention of destabilizing it, and it's obvious he didn't think about what would happen to the sun and moon. Even I would show him what happens to air when it gets compressed enough... and what happens when I send it towards something - I can aim better now, too."

“That bastard Pegasus is mine!” I snapped, banging my fist on the table as my powers flared again. Once more the plants around the room turned to dust, followed by everyone’s clothes save Typhon's.

“Oh come on!” Kat whined, quickly snapping on another outfit. “That’s the third destroyed in two days! Not fair!”

"Timelessness for the win." Typhon smirked. "Also, I hope I made enough duplicates."

“No one, I repeat, no one gives him lasting wounds or takes his life besides me,” I said venomously.

“Max, calm down,” Kat said slowly. “We’re not trying to take away your revenge, just offering a little extra punishment.”

I turned to Kat preparing a scathing remark, barely realizing in time what I was about to say. What is with me? I know I’m angry about what Hurricane did, but why am I yelling at my friend? I lowered my head in shame. I was about to repay her kindness with hate she hadn’t earned....

“I’m sorry,” I said with a shaking voice. “I don’t have his full punishment thought out yet, but I can assure you. He’ll suffer so much that adding anything would be a mercy.”

"That I can object to - be quick, or you are just stooping to his level, claiming to have the higher ground." Typhon interjected. "Avenge, not torture. This isn't one of those times where two wrongs do make a right."

“I don’t assume I have the moral high-ground. And I never said anything about torturing him myself.” I sighed and looked to Typhon. “I don’t intend for him to come to any physical or mental harm, other than what he inflicts himself.”

"You are now leader of Equestria; having the moral high-ground comes with the territory, and you have to keep it." Typhon then made a few motions with his hands. "You can bend it, sure, or defend it with shadowy tactics, but you're supposed to be - or become - better. If anything... if anything, at least leave the decision up to Holo, since those of the Harvest dealt with him the first time; it'll be still in the grey, but not... you know, outright malevolent."

“Both of the princesses chose her, if I cannot trust Max herself, I trust my friends and their decision,” Holo said. “Make no mistake, I shall judge whether or not his punishment is too severe before it is administered.”

"I was talking about leaving that to you, but that works, too."

“If she can think of something that will stick, aside from turning him to stone again, I am sure the others of The Harvest will agree to it.”

“You just don’t want to do it yourself, you lazy wolf,” A voice called from one of the windows. Sitting on the windowsill was a monkey wearing a brown business suit without any pants.

“I wondered where you had run off to, Lawrence,” Holo said indifferently, though I could see a playful glint in her eyes.

"So... royal catacombs?" Typhon reminded them.

“Right,” I skimmed over what I had just read again. “Looks like these are all we’ll need to open the Gate to the right... somewhen? It’s not too clear on those details.”

“That’s because it’s in its own dimension,” Lawrence said. “It’s still in this universe, just in a place where no one can see it normally.”

“So, it’s a pocket dimension?”

“To put it mildly. It’s actually in the manifestation of the world’s magic.”

Kat sighed. “That’s the answer to everything on these worlds, magick… lucky salauds.”

“It’s basically a mirror dimension, but instead of showing the world as it is, it shows the world as it was before anything became sentient,” Holo explained. “It usually takes immense power to send a full-grown pony there, but the others of The Harvest opened the way and sealed it so that it could be opened at will if you had the right items.”

I noticed Kat had taken out a notepad and was actually writing everything down. “Another thing to look into for my thesis,” she muttered.

"I am very 'light', if that helps." Typhon pipped in. "Breath - Air, and all that... and exotic spaces was - or is, my Clover's forte. Took to Seiryu's room magic even better than a fish to water."

A long, drawn out gasp made everyone look to the door. I couldn’t see anything, though since two bright blue -- and huge -- eyes were looking into mine.

“Ugh... even just thinking of her makes her appear,” Holo groaned.

“Oh. My. Gosh! I finally get to throw you a party, not to mention everypony else that’s here, too!” The unmistakeable voice of pinkie gushed.

"Hands - and hooves and paws - up everyone who saw that coming." Typhon said, raising his hand. "Just mind the sugar and the grasses, Pinkie."

“Pinkie! That is no way to treat royalty,” Two guesses as to who that was -- and the first two don’t count.

Rarity’s magic enveloped the pink mare and set her down a few feet away from me before Rarity said, “Please forgive my friend, she can be a bit overenthusiastic.”

"If you can't be friendly towards royalty, then what use is royalty?" Typhon asked as he shrugged.

With my vision unobscured I could see that Twilight, Applejack, Spike, and a yellow Thestral mare that had to be Fluttershy -- that was partially hidden behind the others -- were standing at what they thought was a respectful distance with Pinkie and Rarity next to them.

“You don’t have to act like nobles with me, no one does,” I said with a gesture at some empty chairs. “If anything I’d prefer to be treated as an elder family member.”

"Again, I prefer normal personalities, semi-formal at the most." Typhon commented. "I'm fairly easy-going, and it's not like anypony who takes offense about me treating everyone equally can do much about it."

“Heh, I’d like to see the look on Silver Plate’s face when he hears that,” I said. “He’s insisting that everyone follows etiquette all the time while they’re in the castle.”

Kat smirked. “Ooh, I’d like to see him try to tell me what to do. I’ve always enjoyed putting stuck-up snoots in their place.”

"Kat, he's the butler, it's in his job description." Typhon chuckled. "Manners, I can do, but a lot of etiquette isn't really necessary when all I want to do is catch up with ponies."

“I know, right? It’s the reason I haven’t bothered to go get more clothes yet.” I took a bite of my omelette the waiter set down.

“Same boat there, I just don’t care,” Kat said with a shrug. “The only nice clothes I have are for when I’m in pony form.”

“I’d be happy to design a wardrobe for you, your majesty,” Rarity said. “I haven’t tried making clothes for bipedal species yet, and I do believe it would be a challenge.”

“On one condition. You treat me like you would one of your friends,” I said, having just put another bite of omelette in my mouth. “And if you could, I need easy access to my breasts.”

“Oh my~,” Kat said before bursting into giggles. “S-sorry, couldn’t resist!”

I gave Kat a saucy look, “Would you like to help me test that when the clothes are finished?”

She blushed deeply, almost looking like a tomato. “That’s it,” she muttered, “No more going to worlds while in heat. This is just too much.”

“You sure?” I used my powers to blur over to her, my arm around her shoulder and a hand tilting her head up so she was looking directly into my eyes. “I could give you all the heat you could handle~....”

Kat gulped. “Hoo boy… it’s not as great on the other end of the sexy talk as I thought it would be.”

Typhon pursed his lips. Had the trio been ponies instead of humans, he'd surely be double-teaming Kat right now. Oh well, it wasn't meant to be that way.

“Um, Max, while I appreciate the interest, I’m kinda off season at the moment. Ya know, sober? ...this is just not helping trying to stay sober.”

I glanced over at the five mares and dragon that had entered the room a few minutes ago. Spike had a claw in his mouth trying to hold back his laughter, Applejack had lowered her hat over her face, Rarity and Fluttershy had fainted, their heads resting on the table, Twilight had a nosebleed, and Pinkie was oblivious.

“I guess you being ‘sober’ is better than when you aren’t,” I said, deciding that it would be better to not seduce someone in front of a whole group of people. I let go and walked back to my seat.

“Trust me, Max,” Kat said with a blush. “If I was still in heat… this table would not be very clean anymore right now.”

I clapped a hand to my mouth, trying my best not to say that one word. When I thought the danger had passed, I sat down and picked up my fork again. “Giggity,” I said with a mouthful of omelette. “Damn it!”

She must have still heard me because she choked a little while sipping her coffee, nearly doing a spit take. Kat looked between me and Typhon for a quick moment before landing on him. “Okay, see this is stuff you should be doing. Little more romance from time to time would be a welcome pace from you working in your lab all day.”

"I can't help it! I romance better as a pony." Typhon hung his head. "I just can't seem to do too much of that on two legs..."

Kat sighed, kissing his cheek. “We’ll get you there someday. But, if you want, we could just become ponies for the funeral…. I’ve actually gotten used to being partially equine now.”

"That... that's a fine idea, actually." Typhon scratched his head. "It even feels a little more... meaningful."

“You know, I wasn’t being romantic,” I said. “I’m just a bit... wound up.”

"It's more than I usually get," Kat muttered quietly under her breath.

I couldn’t resist the urge this time. I gasped, “You mean he doesn’t give you any?” I looked at Typhon and shook my fork at him. “For shame! Not taking care of your woman properly.”

"Max!" She nearly screamed at me, blushing hard. "That is not what I meant and you know it!"

Looking over, I saw that Rarity had just come around and then fainted again. Twilight’s nosebleed had gotten worse as well and Spike was rolling on the floor out of sight, trying vainly to hold back his laughter still.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop teasing you both,” I said, focusing back on Typhon and Kat. I then thought, For now. “Anyways, we should probably get ready for the funeral. It’s going to begin at midnight. The reception is when we’ll make the statues and place them in the antechamber before the throne room.”

I was fidgeting with my dress, trying to calm down my nerves with a piece of cake. Yes it was only a piece! I left... some... on the table. “I-I’ve never done something like this. I haven’t even given a public speech or-or gone up on a stage since I was in Fourth grade!” I took another bite, noticing that it was ten minutes before midnight. “A-and now I have to address an entire city! I haven’t memorized or even written a speech yet, I’m sweating like a robber caught red-hoofed by an entire battalion of guards, and I-I-....”

“Please your majesty, you are overreacting to your stage fright,” a servant said placatingly.

“That’s another thing! I don’t want to be called that. I’d rather you respect me like you would your own grandmother instead.”

“Yes, y- Grandmother.”

I smiled triumphantly, preparing to take another bite of my cake. As the servant disappeared around a corner I realized what he said. He-.... That might work. Setting down my plate I walked to the mirror. I spent the next eight or so minutes trying to convince myself that I was Equestria’s grandma.... Fine, I extended it to a few hours from my perspective.

Walking out towards the altar, I saw that every chair was filled and more were standing along the walls and hovering above the crowd. I gave a very small “meep”, shaking my fears in their cage to silence them. I paused briefly, setting my hand on Celestia’s coffin, silently wishing that this was a horrible dream before walking between the closed coffins.

Even though the bodies were cleansed, they had decayed rapidly while the mortician and healer were preparing them. I had taken one look and decided not to subject everyone to that gruesome sight, ordering the coffins to be closed and sealed.

Reaching the altar, I took a second more to compose myself before I said in a low voice, “Time. We never know how much we have or how close ours is to being up. It’s one of the things that everything shares; a fundamental force of the universe. Celestia and Luna lived longer than any pony, griffon, minotaur, or even dragon will ever know and still their lives were cut short.”

I took a breath, trying to control my tears. “I knew them for less than a year, but I will never forget that time. I’ll always remember how they pulled the most outrageous pranks on each other. The way they both wanted to be less formal.... I’ll hold their memories with me no matter what.”

I paused to wipe away a tear slowly making it’s way down my cheek. “Even though their bodies will rest with their parents, their spirits will be with everyone. They’ll watch and help the farmers in their fields, the cooks in their kitchens.... T-the foals in their classrooms.

“They’ll make sure to help me guide Equestria, keep it full of friendship and happiness. These next few months will be dark but Equestria will pull through.” I looked over the crowd, trying to make eye contact with everyone. “I know we will.”

With that I let Cadence take over, the rest of the service passing in a blur until it was time to escort the princesses to their final resting place. An eternity later, the convoy slowed.

I looked up, barely noticing that I was on a large cussion in an equally large and luxurious carriage with Light Sweet, Golden Spark, and Rainbow Dash sitting next to me, to see Holo in her wolf form... ‘speaking’ to Cerberus. Behind the three headed dog was a pair of gates That wouldn’t look out of place in a medieval castle’s walls.

Once she was done talking to Cerberus, Holo attached the wing blades to the right head’s collar, the bell to the middle one’s, and set the scale in a slot on the third head’s collar. The change was immediate. The dreary, cloud-filled sky became clear, the barren landscape became a rolling field of grass, and the wooden gates became smooth, pearly-white stone that shone in the pale moonlight. Inlaid in the gates with black stone was a language that I couldn’t understand, yet understood the meaning of all the same. It read something like, “Here lie the rulers of Equestria, may their lineage continue to the End of Times.”

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Holo asked as she trotted over to were I was sitting on the carriage. “Cerberus will only allow those of Celestia and Luna’s family and friends inside.”

Nodding, I picked up Rainbow and signalled for Sol and Mun to carry my other two foals. Twilight fell into step behind the six of us and the carriages with the coffins rolled one at a time behind her.

Beyond the gates was a hallway that was lit every so often by softly glowing balls of light that drifted near the ceiling. I had no doubts that they were a defense mechanism as well as lighting. The hallway opened into a room with a vaulted ceiling that was empty save for a raised dais that had five places for coffins, three of which were filled already.

“The Tomb of the Royals....” Twilight whispered in awe. I groaned when I turned to find her with her face literally on the ground.

It took a little while but I managed to pry her face up long enough for her to lift Celestia and Luna’s coffins into the places that had been prepared for them, only for her to turn and bow to me as a sixth place appeared next to Celestia’s. I put a stop to that right then and there.

“Twilight, if you want to respect me, please stop bowing and just treat me like you would your own grandmother,” I said once my hand fell from my face.

“O-of course, your-.... Grandmother Max,” she said as she awkwardly stood back up.

I turned back to the hallway. “Maxine if you're going to use anything but my name alone. I would like nothing more than to throw out everything to do with etiquette and leave just respect in it’s place, but I know I won’t be able to.”

For the rest of the walk to the gate everyone was quiet. I admit I got lost in my thoughts enough that I didn’t notice the carriage had pulled up to the front of the castle until Sol nudged my leg. By that time I had decided; I wasn’t going to be Queen, or even a Princess. I was going to be Grandma and I wasn’t going to be run over by reindeer by my duties.

Author's Notes:

.... I REGRET NOTHING!