Fire raged, the smoke climbing all around me. I stood still, watching as the flame consumed everything it touched. Grass Roots didn’t scream, didn’t howl. He had accepted his fate, and now I knew everything that I’d needed to know about finding the Heartmender. We could finally leave this wretched place and be done with this mission.

As the smoke began to thicken, I coughed slightly as the touch of it tinged my eyes. I stepped backwards, away from the burning tree. I felt myself slam into something behind me. I turned quickly, realizing that it was Kephali. His eyes were glued to the scene in the grove.

“What… what have you done? What has happened to the Great One?”

“What you couldn’t,” I said simply. I turned to head towards the exit.

“Wait… you can’t… you can’t leave! You must be punished for this!” Kephali shouted angrily. “You destroyed the Great One!”

“Try and stop me,” I snarled, my horn glowing softly. “Your Great One wanted to die. He was in pain. You were just too blind and too stupid to even see that.”

Kephali’s expression contorted into blind rage. “Guards! Guards! I need you now!”

He lifted his staff with his mouth and pointed it towards me. I rolled my eyes and cast the spell I’d been holding inside my horn, setting the dinky piece of wood on fire. Kephali jumped backwards, yelping. I turned and started heading back towards the entrance. I needed to get back to the others before this escalated even further out of control.

I could hear the guards on their way. I grimaced, looking for a place to hide. Kephali was still busy putting the fire of his staff out, so I jumped into a nearby set of bushes and waited for the guards to pass by. Kephali finished dousing his staff and looked around, not seeing me concealed in the bush.

“The unicorn outsider! She did this! We must find her and bring her to justice!” he roared angrily. “Search the area! She can’t be too far away!”

I cursed under my breath. This had gone from bad to worse. I had hoped to be away from the grove before Kephali found Grass Roots, and by then it could be construed as an accident. Not anymore. What would the others think of me then? Did I even care?

I decided that I didn’t. I didn’t care what the others thought of me. I just wanted to find the Heartmender, get her back to Mom, and be done with this entire thing.

A section of the guards broke away, poking around the grove for any sign of me while Kephali and a few others started attempting to contain the fire. It was laughable that they could even try to contain it, but it also gave me a great idea. I lit my horn as softly as I could, sending another fire spell roaring across the grove where it lit up the section the guards were exploring.

“Over here!” the guards shouted, gathering Kephali’s attention. They made their way across the clearing towards the fire, trying to put it out.

I took the opportunity, jaunting towards the exit from the grove, keeping low to the ground as much as possible to avoid being seen. The darkness prevailed, preventing the guards from spotting me. The settlement was in a roar by the time I made my way closer to our camp. Tribesponies rushed to and fro, shouting about this or that. They barely noticed as I strode by.

“Starry!” I heard my brother call out.

I grimaced, and tried to put on a concerned face. My friends didn’t need to know what I’d actually done. “Lightning. Something… something happened to…”

“The whole settlement is in disarray,” Lightning said. “What happened?”

“Grass Roots… I went up to talk to him, to try to convince him to help us,” I said, feigning distress. “He… he told me where to find the Heartmender. I… I went back to thank him for helping us… and he… somepony… he was on fire!”

Lightning’s eyes widened. “Wait… what? You mean…”

“Grass Roots is gone. Kephali is trying to contain the fire now,” I said breathlessly. “But it’s hopeless. He’s dead.”

“We need to help then,” Lightning said. “I’ll get the others.”

“Wait. No. There’s nothing we can do, Lightning. We need to leave, now,” I said. “I have the location for the Heartmender saved in my PipBuck.”

“And not help these ponies? They helped us,” Lightning said angrily. “What’s gotten into you, Starry?”

“What’s going on out here? What’s all this commotion about?” I heard Coconut say groggily.

“Go wake the others. There’s been an incident. We need to help,” Lightning said softly.

“What happened?”

“Just get the others out here, I’ll explain when we’re all assembled,” Lightning replied.

Coconut merely nodded and headed back inside to round up the others. Lightning turned to me and grimaced.

“We’re going to go help Kephali and the others figure out what happened,” he said. “You can either come with us and help, or stay here. Your choice.”

“Lightning… Please, you have to listen to me. You can’t go up there,” I said, lowering my gaze to the ground. I had no choice at this point. I was going to have to make him understand why they couldn’t help. “There’s… circumstances.”

“Circumstances?” Lightning said, his eyes widening. Realization dawned on his face. “Starry… what did you do?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t have a choice,” I stuttered. “You have to understand… he wasn’t going to tell us any other way.”

“You didn’t…” Lightning said, his face contorted in disgust. “You did, didn’t you? You set the fire. You did what he asked us to do.”

I looked to the ground. “Nobody was supposed to find out like this, but even now Kephali is looking for me. He saw me, Lightning. We need to leave before he finds us,” I said. “He doesn’t understand why it had to be done.”

“I don’t even understand why it had to be done, Starry,” Lightning said, lifting a hoof and burying his face in it. “How soon before he comes looking for you here? We should be scarce before that happens.”

I blinked. “Wait… what? You’re taking my side?” I asked.

“You’re not giving us much of a choice,” Lightning said grimly. “Kephali will consider us accomplices. You said it yourself, he doesn’t understand.”

Shuffling came from inside the domicile as the others appeared. Click had gone back to his normal robot self. The others looked extremely confused as to what was going on as they read both Lightning’s and my expressions.

“What’s going on? Where’s the fire?” Coconut said.

“New plan,” Lightning said, glaring at me. “Seems we have the information we need to find the Heartmender. We leave immediately.”

“What about this incident you referred to? What happened?” Rocky said.

“It’s fine. The tribal ponies here have got it under control. We should leave them be,” Lightning said.

I felt the weight of what he was doing bearing down upon me, but felt no strong feelings of appreciation regardless. All I wanted was to be away from here, to find the Heartmender and then go home. Anything else didn’t matter.

Shouting interrupted Lightning’s discussion with the others. I turned my head towards the path leading up to the grove, seeing the tribesponies headed by Kephali. They saw me, appearing to be incredibly pissed off. Spears flew through the air at us.

“Everyone, get back!” I shouted as I lit my horn.

The spears never made it to us, being reduced to mere cinders beneath my fire spell, surprising the tribesponies long enough for me to block the path with a wall of fire, barring them from charging at us.

“That won’t hold them for long, we need to leave!” I yelled at the others.

“Starry? What in the world is going on? Why are they trying to attack us?” Coconut said.

“There’s no time to explain right now,” Lightning interrupted. “Starry is right about one thing, we need to run. Everyone, down the path and back to the rocks!”

I charged ahead of the others, growling under my breath as another group of tribesponies moved to intercept us. I released another fire spell, startling them as we charged past. The others save for Lightning were blindly following, not sure if they should defend themselves or not against the tribesponies. Even Lightning pulled his punches when it came to keeping them at bay, preferring to fire his guns into the ground to keep them from gaining ground.

Time slowed to a crawl. The fire had spread widely beyond the grove. There was no stopping it. Soon it would consume everything. I knew as soon as I saw the trees and the plants beginning to wither that this would be the end for this settlement. Grass Roots’ death would cause everything to eventually die. The tribe would be left without food.

I found myself not caring. I pressed forward, continuing our flight to the exit. The tribesponies were attempting to converge on us, but we were moving too quickly for them to keep up with us.

A group of tribesponies managed to flank us, pushing us to the right path. I didn’t even know where the exit was anymore. Things were too confusing and happening too fast. A tribal pony tried to jab me with a spear. I growled under my breath, grabbing a hold of it in my magic and turning it on him. He went down quickly, blood staining his chest where I’d struck him. I continued following the others until we ended up in another clearing of the oasis. It was burning as well, the fire licking the very edges of the settlement. Smoke filled the air, making it difficult to breathe.

“Where is the exit?!” Velvet shouted. “Where do we go?”

I wheeled around searching for the exit. It had to be somewhere. Everywhere around us, trees burned and fire reigned. I groaned as I realized that the exit had to be the way we came from, back through the fire and the tribesponies. If we wanted to escape, we were going to have to go through them.

“It’s back this way! We got turned around!” I called out, pointing back the way we came.

I charged down the path as I met the first of the tribals waiting for us. They seemed surprised that we were running back towards them, almost as if they hadn’t expected it. I used that surprise to my advantage, using my magic to force them to each side of the path. I pelted through, gritting my teeth at the chaos that had been unleashed upon this place. The tribals that weren’t engaged in trying to stop us were too busy trying to get the fires under control.

I scanned quickly for the exit, finding the path that led downward out of the oasis and back towards the rocks. I motioned for the others to follow me and began running, the blood in my body pumping hard as I pushed through the heat and the adrenaline to try and get away. My senses felt dead. All I cared about was getting out and getting to the Heartmender. Nothing else mattered.

Soon however, the lushness and dry heat of the fiery oasis fell away, replaced by the battering heat of the desert. The sun engulfed every fiber of our being. We slowed to a walk, glancing back at the entrance to the oasis. None of the tribesponies were following us. I breathed deeply, straining to keep it together for what I knew was going to come next.

“What the fuck just actually happened?” Velvet said, breaking the silence. “Why were they attacking us?”

I breathed in again and again, feeling like the heat might kill me. But I couldn’t let it. I had things to do.

“Yeah, Lightning. What was that all about?” Coconut said angrily.

“Calm down,” Lightning said, glancing at me. “It’s… it’s complicated. Isn’t that right, Starry? Why don’t you enlighten us as to why the tribe was attacking us?”

I slowed my breathing to long deep breathes before I grimaced and looked away. “I… I killed Grass Roots. Or rather… I delivered him from his pain and suffering.”

“You did WHAT?!” Coconut shouted, her eyes wide with incredulity. “Starry… why?”

“Because I was the only one who could do it!” I shouted back. “You all let your feelings get in the way. You didn’t see how much pain he was in! He wanted to die. He wanted to be set free of his mutation!”

Lightning glanced back at the entrance to the oasis. The fires could still be seen floating around the entrance, smoke billowing up into the air. It looked like a black husk, rotting in the middle of the desert. The tribe would have their hooves full trying to keep the fires from consuming everything. That was why they weren’t following us.

“And in doing so, you nearly killed an entire tribe of mares, foals, and stallions,” Lightning said solemnly. “Even if they do survive the fires, the growth in there that was caused by Grass Roots is already dying. I saw it on the way out. They’ll be out of food and out of time.”

“They were preying on him,” I said viciously. “Using him and his mutation for parts of his body. It was disgusting. They deserve what they got.”

“Fucking hell,” Velvet said with a snort. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Even I’m not that fucked up.”

“Starry, sweetie…” Coconut started to say.

“Stop. I’m not doing this right now, Coconut. I’m tired of this ‘sweetie’ this, ‘sweetheart’ that business. I’m not a child, and you should know better,” I spat back. “If you want to be my friend, then listen and understand. I didn’t do this because I was disgusted by what they were doing to Grass Roots, but because he begged me! He told me where the Heartmender is and begged me to end his suffering!”

“At what cost?” Coconut uttered, her voice cracking.

I grimaced. “At the cost of being able to save my mother in time. The only cost that matters. That’s why we’re all here, right? We all came here to save Mom.”

“But not… not like this,” Coconut said. “I… I don’t know how to process this. How can you all be alright with what just happened? It’s just like what happened with Xerves.”

“Don’t you dare utter his name,” I hissed. “What I did to him… I was a monster, possessed by a monster. I was helping Grass Roots. It’s different.”

“It’s still murder, Starry,” Coconut said. “You still burnt him alive. You still killed him!”

“Enough!” Lightning shouted, interrupting us before we could say anything further. “Stop. Please. I can’t listen to this. You two more than anything should be able to move past anything. You’re best friends. Regardless of intent, we can’t change what happened. We have to move on and move forward. Nothing’s going to convince Kephali that we were looking out for his best interests, so what’s done is done.”

Coconut grimaced. “I’m not sure that I can move on, Lightning. If you approve of this… I… I don’t know. I can’t approve of this. I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m… I’m going home. I can’t stay here anymore.”

My eyes widened. She wanted to leave? Was she crazy? We were in the middle of a hostile desert that wanted to make quick work of us.

“Coconut… you know that’s not possible,” Lightning said softly, walking up to her. “We’re out in the middle of nowhere. It’s not safe for you to leave.”

Coconut glanced down at her hooves. She looked up at me. I could see it in her eyes. She hated me. She hated what I had become.

I again found myself strangely not caring. I’d done what I’d done because Grass Roots had asked me to. I didn’t need to justify the reasons to her. I knew deep down that something was still wrong with me, but I couldn’t care less. It was like a piece had been ripped away from my soul.

“Alright,” Coconut finally said. “You’re right. I’ll stay. But only until we get back with the Heartmender. After that... “

“What about the rest of you? Are you staying with us?” Lightning asked succinctly, turning to Velvet and Rocky, who’d been abnormally quiet.

“I don’t really have a choice,” Velvet said. “You said it yourself. We wouldn’t survive out there on our own. Besides… Envy would probably fucking kill me if I returned without you.”

“I will stay,” Rocky said simply. His yellow eyes narrowed in on me. “I made a commitment.”

Ouch, I thought. I could feel the pins and needles from his glare. He wasn’t too happy with me either.

“CLICK.”

Lightning sighed deeply and glanced at me. “Alright. Then we should be on the move before Kephali and the others decide it's time to venture out from the oasis. Besides… Grass Roots gave you the location, right?”

I lifted my PipBuck and pulled up the map. The location was clearly marked as being several days away still to the west, but it was marked nonetheless. The location had no name.

“He said it was a settlement, ran by free slaves who had passed through the desert,” I said. “It doesn’t have a name. He said it didn’t want a name. The Heartmender… Heartshine… she was going there for some reason.”

“This isn’t far away, maybe a few days off if we hustle,” Lightning said. “And considering we don’t have a tent anymore, we’d better get moving so we can find some shelter.”

I nodded, stepping forward ahead of the others as I made my way off the rocks and onto the hot sand. I needed to keep ahead of things, ahead of the others. All I cared about was getting to the Heartmender, getting her to Mom, and then figuring things out from there. The Heartmender had to be able to save her.

I didn’t even want to consider what had happened with Grass Roots. Had I done the wrong thing? Could we have achieved the same result of finding out where the Heartmender was without fulfilling his desire to have peace? I didn’t think so. The mere thought of leaving him there filled me with hatred and disgust. I shouldn’t have felt that. What exactly had the act of purging All’z’reth from my mind and body done to me?

Coconut hated me. I could feel it as we walked. No one said anything. Silence reigned, but I could feel her stare at the back of my head. She didn’t understand the choice I’d had to make, the sacrifice. None of them did, and I could feel their hate rushing off of them. Even Velvet, who had once kidnapped me and forced me to be a slave. Even she felt hate for me.

Hours passed. We were far away from the oasis, but the black smoke erupting from the trees still cut a dark line across the otherwise reddish sky. It was a constant reminder of what I’d done. The desert still seemed to crawl on for miles, but at the very least a breeze had managed to cut through the sweltering heat, providing a measure of relief. Shelter had not yet presented itself. The supplies we had were all from the oasis settlement.

The sky began to darken as we passed from sand to rock, marking what appeared to be the end of the seemingly endless desert. With the passing of the sun and our departure from sand to rock, the heat faded almost immediately. Beyond lay a valley filled with twisted rock formations and blackened trees. We stood for a few moments, gauging the lay of the land.

“We should be able to find some shelter up ahead with the trees in this area,” Lightning said, breaking the silence. “We’ll get set up somewhere safe and then figure out how much farther it is to this town.”

“Is it just me or does this place seem to be even creepier than the desert with the scary sandwurms that try to eat us at night?” Velvet quipped as we made our way down into the valley.

I again found myself at the front of the pack, not wishing to even look at or acknowledge the others. Even Velvet’s joke went unanswered as we walked, a fact that had seemed to put a pall on discussion in general. Instead we walked silently through the valley as the sky grew darker with every little step. Soon we found ourselves at an outcropping of dead trees that looked to be secure enough to camp in.

I walked over to the far end of the clearing and began setting up enough of my bedroll to sleep on. I could feel the others watching me, judging me silently. I didn’t care. I just wanted to sleep and then wake up and then keep going until we found Heartshine. I slumped into my roll and turned over. I didn’t expect any of them to ask me to handle guard duty. I didn’t want to.

I opened my pack and pulled out the second memory orb, the one from Starlight Glimmer’s memories. I shrugged silently and reached out with my magic, letting it envelop me again so that everything went far, far away.

My eyes fluttered as I came out of the memory. It was still reasonably dark outside. A biting chill rippled across me as I sat up from my bedroll. The camp was still, silent. Everyone was asleep. Wasn’t someone supposed to be guarding it? It didn’t make any sense. Maybe everyone just decided it didn’t matter who guarded or didn’t.

However, something just didn’t seem right. None of the forms around me moved even normally. And where was Rocky and Click? None of this made sense. I pushed myself to my hooves from my bedroll and stepped cautiously into the camp. There was an eerie chill to the whole thing. I made my way to Lightning’s bedroll and laid a hoof on it. It was hard and lumpy. I pulled the cover away, revealing a cold, black rock.

“What the…?” I said aloud. “Did they… leave me?”

Lightning crackled across the sky, followed by the sound of thunder. Had there been thunder before? There hadn’t been any weather across the desert. Rain began to fall around me, the wind whipping around. Water seeped into the ground at my hooves, causing them to sink in just a bit. What was happening? Was I having some sort of dream?

“Hello?!” I shouted. “Is there anyone out there?!”

The wind whipped around harder and harder, the rain violently contorting to its wishes. I stood soaked, mane to tailbone. Lightning flashed across the sky once more, accompanied by booming thunder. Amidst it all I could hear… laughter? I looked for the source of it, finding it in a shadowy form at the edge of my vision. My eyes widened as I recognized it.

“It’s not possible…” I whispered to myself. “We got rid of you. Why are you still here? It’s impossible…”

“You could never get rid of me,” the voice called out through the storm. “I’ll always be here in the shadows, waiting. I am a part of you!”

“You’re not a part of me! We got rid of you!” I shouted back. “You can’t be… You can’t…”

There was no further response. I slumped back onto my haunches and started crying. I wasn’t sure what else to do. All’z’reth was still a part of me. It had ripped away the part of my heart that could fee, that could love, and hidden its horrible self inside. I couldn’t feel empathy. I couldn’t feel anything.

When I’d killed Grass Roots, I hadn’t felt anything. No empathy for his plight, nothing. I’d felt disgust and hatred for the ponies that were taking from him, but even then the feelings had felt dull, muted. I’d wanted to kill Grass Roots, I’d wanted to deliver him from his pain in some vain attempt to feel. Coconut was right. What I’d done had been murder, but I didn’t care. I wanted to feel even something worth feeling.

Because All’z’reth had taken that from me. It had killed that part of me. The part that wanted friendship and love. And it was still there, taking and taking from me until I was sure I would be taken over entirely.

I sat and I cried in my mind’s space because that’s all I could even think of to do.

My eyes opened to the same darkness, but yet I knew immediately that I had been either dreaming or having a vision beyond the memory orb. I could hear the soft snores of my friends as I pushed myself from my bedroll to an upright position. My senses felt dull as I scanned the camp for who was on guard.

My eyes widened slightly when I saw Rocky’s bulky form sitting at the edge of the camp, his rifle at his side. He was guarding? A wry smile elicited itself from my mouth. Maybe I could feel a little something after all this night.

I shuffled out of my bedroll and quietly stalked across the camp until I appeared at his side. He casually glanced at me, seeming to be confused that I was awake.

“You are awake,” he stated simply.

“Had a bad dream,” I said softly. “Woke me up.”

“This area is quiet,” Rocky said. “Too quiet. It makes me feel uneasy.”

“You think there’s something out there?” I asked, glancing at him.

“No. I think there’s nothing out there, which is why I’m uneasy,” Rocky replied casually. “I’m worried it’s just us out here.”

“You think so?” I said.

“I do,” Rocky said shortly. He turned towards me, his yellow eyes narrowing. “What are you doing, Starry? I thought that you didn’t want to speak to me anymore.”

“I… I don’t know,” I said. “I thought maybe you could help me feel something.”

“Feel something? Like what?”

“Anything. Something’s… something’s wrong with me,” I whispered. “I don’t even know how to feel anymore. I can’t feel love, or hate, or even disgust.”

“Is that why you killed Grass Roots?” Rocky replied. “To feel something?”

“No? I don’t know. Maybe?” I said. “I don’t know why. He knew where Heartshine went to… and I needed that information. But that doesn’t matter, does it? Whether I did it to show mercy to someone who was suffering, or just to try and feel something, or to pursue my goals… You all think I did wrong. I could see it in all of your eyes. Judging me.”

“Judging myself,” Rocky said. “Because I agreed with your course of action.”

My eyes widened. “You what? You thought what I did was… right?”

“It didn’t seem fair at the time to argue with the others, especially given the way that Coconut reacted to it,” Rocky replied. “But yes… I remained silent while the others argued and agreed over taking his life, and even considered doing the deed myself.”

“Why?”

“When I was with the Cult, they took and took from our own flesh, replacing it with this in order to keep us healthy and fighting. It was the same thing with the tribe. They were taking from him, using him. It wasn’t right,” Rocky said, looking back into the distance.

“So why didn’t you decide to do it?” I asked.

“Because I thought maybe… maybe I was better than thinking that way. I thought that maybe I was going to be better for you,” Rocky replied, his eyes meeting mine.

I breathed heavily, feeling a pressure building up in my loins. I knew exactly why I’d come up here. I needed to feel something, anything. I knew what I wanted.

“Does… does your mask come off?” I asked hesitantly.

Rocky seemed taken aback by the question. “My mask?” he asked, pointing to the speaker where his mouth was. He appeared confused.

“Yes. Does it… does it come off. Is your mouth functional?” I asked. “I mean, I know you don’t need to eat…”

“It doesn’t. I don’t know why…” Rocky started to say.

I lunged into his arms and pressed myself against him, placing a kiss upon his cheek and the side of his speaker. “That’s okay. I just figured… well… maybe you’d like to help me feel something, and I could give you one of those for real,” I said with a grin.

Rocky’s eyes widened as he leaned into me. “But… I thought…”

“Don’t think. That’s the problem, Rock. You think,” I said. “Please. Just… help me. Help me feel something. I need you.”

I glanced over at Rocky and made a content but disjointed sigh. For a brief moment, I had nearly felt something. Now all I felt was soreness between my legs and a dull ache. I didn’t know where to go from here. Rocky was laying back against the tree, his piercing yellow eyes watching me carefully.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“I… I didn’t feel anything substantial, it was very brief. I thought maybe…” I said.

“That it would make you feel something all the time,” Rocky replied. “Is that what you wanted out of this? Just sex?”

“No!” I shouted. “Never. I… I just don’t know what’s wrong with me, Rock. I feel like… like All’z’reth left something inside of me. Like it’s making me be unable to feel feelings.”

“Why haven’t you told the others? Coconut and Lightning? They would understand,” Rocky said. “They are your friends, after all.”

“Should I? Coconut… she hates me. And even so, I don’t even care that she does. I can’t even feel bad about it,” I said. “Why would she listen to my inane need to feel something?”

“She would understand,” Rocky said simply as he stood and returned to the perimeter. “You should try. You may be surprised at the outcome.”

“I… I suppose,” I said. “But first… I should probably clean myself off.”

I stood, sighing as I felt the dampness still on my inner thighs. I spread my legs and ignited my horn, sending a cleansing spell across my body that wiped clean the evidence of the previous hour’s activity. I turned back towards the camp, intending to clean off my face and stopped cold, staring right into Coconut Cream Pie’s face. Her eyes were wide as she took in the stains on my face. Realization must have dawned on her as she narrowed them once more.

She said something that I didn’t hear. I blinked, quickly realizing that I’d forgotten to take down the sphere of silence spell I’d cast so the others wouldn’t hear Rocky and I.

“Starry? What’s going on?” she said as soon as I could hear her.

“Umm… well…” I said. “Would you maybe mind if I finished cleaning myself off first?”

“Go ahead,” Coconut said.

I nodded, igniting my horn and casting the cleansing spell along my head and face, cleaning up quickly. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

“Look, I can explain…”

“No, I think I got the jist of what just happened,” Coconut replied. “I don’t understand what’s going on with you lately, Starry. First this business with the knife, then Grass Roots, now this…”

“You want the truth, then? You want to know why I’ve been so fucked up since we left Xerves?” I asked, growling under my breath. “I can’t feel anything, Coconut. I can’t feel love, I can’t feel hate. No empathy, no nothing. My senses are dull and dead, and it’s because of that fucking thing All’z’reth. It left me with this… this lack of feeling!”

Coconut’s eyes narrowed. “And Rocky? What about that? Does that mean you don’t love him?”

“I… I can’t even tell anymore,” I said. “I don’t even know what feeling is.”

“What about me? What do you feel towards me?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry, Coco. I can’t feel anything,” I said, glancing at my hooves. “But I almost did… I almost felt something.”

“Is this why you killed an innocent? Why you condemned an entire tribe to death?” Coconut said angrily. “To feel something?”

I looked up at her and grimaced. “P-p-partly,” I stuttered. “You didn’t see him, Coco. He was in pain. It was… it was mutual. I don’t know how else to explain this. I did what I had to.” I looked back down. “Rocky was wrong. You don’t understand.”

Coconut looked taken aback at this. She sighed deeply after a few long moments of awkward silence. “You’re right. I… I don’t. But that… that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you. What you did… it was wrong, whether you felt anything about it or not. But there’s nothing we can do about that now. We’re far away from the oasis, and what’s done is done.”

“You said you would leave,” I said sullenly. “Because you hate me.”

“I don’t… I don’t hate you, Starry,” Coconut said. “I could never hate you. And yes… I considered that once we got back home… leaving for a while. But I won’t. Not if you need me. Not if you need my help.”

I slumped to my haunches. “I… I do. I really do. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Coco, but I know it’s got something to do with that damned All’z’reth.”

Coconut smiled softly and walked up next to me, wrapping her foreleg around my neck. “We’ll figure it out, alright? Until then… could you maybe try to not kill anyone else?” she said, winking. “I mean… unless they really are a bad guy, that is.”

I nodded. “I’ll… I’ll try.”

“Good,” Coconut said. “Now then… how was the um… you know…”

“The sex?”

“Err… yeah,” Coconut said, her cheeks reddening. “I mean… you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

“It was… nice,” I said simply as Rocky reappeared from the perimeter.

He stopped and glanced between myself and Coconut, his yellow eyes narrowing as he established what had just been discussed. However that seemed to not be why he was here.

“We have a problem. Wake the others and prepare for a fight,” he said gravely. “I was wrong. We’re not alone out here.”

“What is it? Monsters, giant eels?” I asked, my eyes widening.

“Worse. Slavers,” Rocky said.

“Slavers?” Lightning said as he glanced between the group. “All the way out here? How can you tell?”

“They have a caravan filled with slaves, both changeling and pony. Not too far from here,” Rocky explained. “I did some scouting and saw some of their number scrounging around it. They didn’t see me, but it stands to reason they know we’re here.”

“Do you think they’re looking for the slave town? Where we’re headed?” I interjected.

“Perhaps,” Rocky said. “A town full of free slaves would be a bounty worth having.”

“CLICK.”

“Click, you said it,” Velvet said softly. “You said they have changelings on the caravan? Why don’t we hit these guys before they find us and save the slaves? Would put us on the up and up I think.”

“Their numbers appear to be heavily guarded and well armed,” Rocky said. “But a tactical strike may thin out things enough to free the slaves.”

“Are we sure this is a good idea? Our supplies are low and even well rested we’re not exactly taking down an army,” Coconut said. “I mean, I’m all for freeing slaves, but I just want to make sure we’re ready for it.”

“This is a venture you should undertake,” a familiar stallion’s voice emanated from Click. Dusk’s face had reappeared on the monitor screen. “I’ve been doing some research and this is something you should do.”

“Dusk? Have you been watching us this whole time?” Lightning asked.

Dusk grimaced and nodded silently. I looked down at my hooves. That means he saw and knew about Grass Roots. He had to know. Why didn’t he come forward before now? Why didn’t he try to say anything about it? Unless… unless he knew he couldn’t stop it. Was me killing Grass Roots a fixed point in time? Was anything malleable?

“These slavers pose a direct threat to the town you are searching for,” Dusk continued. “If you were to disrupt their operation enough, it would keep the town safe and hiden for the time being. And any slavers we capture may know something about the exact location of the town.”

“I agree with Dusk,” Rocky said, his yellow eyes narrowing at the rest of us. “Lightning, you and I will lay out a plan of attack. One that maximizes our strengths and minimizes our weaknesses. The rest of you will get together our gear and take stock of what we have.”

Lightning nodded, moving to sit next to the minotaur to start working on the plan. I moved to the edge of the camp by myself while Coconut walked over to the gear and started working on it. I felt a flutter next to me as Velvet landed in her natural form. What was she up to? Was she looking to feed?

“I’m sorry about before,” she said in a raspy voice. “I tend to forget that sometimes, people look at the real me, and they think that I’m a monster. And for a while, I was just as fucked up as you are now. Being with you guys… it’s helped. A lot.”

I nodded solemnly. “Velvet, what do you feel from me?”

Velvet’s multi-faceted eyes shimmered and she grimaced, her fangs curling in a little lip bite. “Nothing. Nothing at all. What… what happened to you? How is that even possible?”

“All’z’reth,” a voice said from behind us.

I glanced back to see Dusk rolling up in Click’s body. He had a pained expression on his face.

“All’z’reth’s magic infected her heart, and when we removed that infection by expelling the entity from her body… it also removed Starry’s center of empathy,” he said simply.

“You knew?” I said.

“I had a suspicion. After what happened with Grass Roots, I extrapolated the rest of the data out and came to the same conclusion you did,” Dusk replied.

“So… because of that thing that was in her… she can’t feel anything?” Velvet asked, reverting to her pony form.

“It left me with the inability to feel anything,” I said. “Velvet… can I talk to Dusk real quick alone? I have some… questions for him.”

Velvet nodded. “Sure, I’ll go help Coconut with the gear.”

She trotted back over to where Coconut was working as I stared up at Dusk.

“You knew what I was going to do,” I said. “You didn’t try to stop me. Why?”

“Because I knew that there would be no way to stop you. You needed to find the information to find the Heartmender, and that’s something that happens in the timeline,” Dusk said with a frown.

“So it was fixed?”

“Not exactly. I could have woken the others or restrained you myself using this body,” Dusk replied. “But that wouldn’t have solved anything. You wouldn’t have been able to get the information you needed any other way, and you wouldn’t be here right now where you needed to be. My meddling in the timeline has caused more than enough problems that this time, not meddling was what was needed.”

“I see,” I said softly. “And what now? What happens after this?”

“I don’t know, Starry,” Dusk said. “That’s the thing that worries me the most. I’m having trouble finding the lines and threads that lead to the future. We’re in uncharted territory, I’m afraid.”

“And my condition? You figured it out, but do you know how to stop it?” I asked.

“I’m afraid I don’t have an answer for that either,” Dusk said, closing his eyes and sighing. “Removing All’z’reth needed to be done or else something far worse would have happened.”

“I know,” I said. “I’d have become like it. A monster, a demon. I just… I wish it could end.”

“Starry, Dusk, we’re ready,” Coconut said as she walked up to us. She’d donned her visor once more, obscuring her face. “Let’s go listen to the plan.”

I huddled down on the edge of the valley ridge, overlooking the next valley over where the slavers had made their camp. After not having seen any life in this place at all, it was strange to witness a camp made up of both changelings and ponies. The slavers moved to and fro around the camp, many of them guarding the perimeter or on patrol.

Several more of them huddled around campfires, eating and drinking loudly. Beyond them, a cage on top of a wheeled cart sat, filled with slaves. They looked famished, beaten, abused. Changelings in natural form weakly buzzed by the bars, and ponies both young and old lay gasping for breath.

I glanced across the ridge over at Rocky. The plan had been very simple. Hit them before they knew what was happening, and then release the slaves. Disrupt things so that they couldn’t regroup and then be back into the wilderness of the valley before they even knew what was happening.

I grimaced. It was a good plan, but there was a kink in it. The slavers were packing some pretty heavy artillery, including a combat robot that was quietly rolling around the perimeter of the camp. Rocky intended to take it out himself with a shot of his sniper rifle. I had no weapon, instead intending to use the fire spell I’d learned so well to shock and awe the slavers into running.

The entire thing seemed incredulous. We were six against a whole caravan of slavers. There was no way this was going to work, but Dusk seemed convinced that we needed to be here.

I watched as Rocky moved into position. Below the ridge I could hear the laughter of the slavers. I was also picking up on some conversation.

“...this place is fucking haunted, I’m telling you…”

“...you’re shitting me…”

“...-ck I’m serious! There’s a fucking ghost out there…”

My eyebrows raised. A ghost? Slavers actually scared of something? That seemed surprising. Perhaps we could use that to our advantage. If they were scared enough of the hint of a ghost, maybe I could conjure up an illusion of one to scare them even more. Combined with the attack…

My horn glowed softly as Rocky began aiming his rifle, waiting for the robot to come into view. As soon as it did, he fired. The bullet streaked across the clearing silently, slamming into the combat robot’s head in a shower of sparks. Immediately the camp stirred into a frenzy, giving me the perfect opportunity to strike.

Magic coalesced in the air, sending out an illusion of a white flailing ghost that began swooping down upon the slaver camp. As I readily expected, many of the slavers began the shout and scream, running about almost comically. I didn’t expect the illusion to be believed for too long however.

Meanwhile, the others utilized the chaos well enough, firing from behind cover to hit as many slavers as they could. Things appeared to be proceeding as planned.

“It’s a fucking illusion, you fucking morons!” I heard one of the slavers shout as he took a pot shot at the ghost flying around. “We’re being attacked!”

“Shit,” I muttered as I dispelled the illusion. “Well, I knew that wasn’t going to last long.”

A cracking shot through the air from Rocky sounded from the next ridge. Even with his accuracy and the others hitting slavers here and there, there were still too many of them to count. I could see Coconut and Lightning next to each other, firing off shots from behind cover as well. Velvet stood on top of Click, letting the robot handle the majority of the firing power while occasionally sending out a blast of magic to supplement.

And then the side of the ridge exploded. I felt myself get thrown back several feet, my ears ringing. What in the fuck was that?! I thought frantically as I tried to get back onto my hooves. My eyes widened as I saw it. A mounted launcher on the caravan. Its massive barrel was smoking as they loaded another shell into it.

“Shit shit shit shit! Mortar! Everyone pull back!” I shouted.

“Back from the ridge!” Rocky roared. “Now!”

I scrambled away from the ridge as the launcher fired again, the mortar booming into the ridge wall with thunderous wrath. Dirt and debris exploded everywhere, sending all of us flying to the ground once more. Click sat turned on his side, unable to right himself, his wheels spinning in all directions. Velvet lay on the ground next to him, clutching a bloodied up leg. Coconut and Lightning were on the other side, on the ground as well. The only one standing appeared to be Rocky, who roared loudly, sparks flying from his cybernetics.

“Hold fire!” I heard one of the slavers shout. “You’re outgunned up there, whoever you are! Why don’t you come on out and join us? You’ll make a fine addition to the other slaves.”

Rocky roared bestially in response.

“Alright, fine, have it your way then,” the slaver shouted back. “Boys, go get em. If they resist, we’ll just mortar the shit out of them.”

I grimaced, scrambling to get to my hooves besides Rocky. He’d been damaged, not seriously, but enough that there was exposed wiring on his side.

“What do we do?” I asked as the others found their way next to us.

“This plan sucked,” Velvet said sarcastically.

“And you had a better one?” Lightning quipped back.

“Shut up you two,” Coconut interjected. “Rocky, can you lift Click? We’re gonna need him before they get up here.”

Rocky shuddered and then nodded, walking carefully over to the robot, whose face had become that of a frowning pony. He reached down and helped the robot upright, where it could move again. Click too, had some exposed wires from the mortar blast.

“They’ve got a nice clear shot to hit us with that mortar again,” Lightning said.

“We were well in over our hooves on this,” Velvet said, groaning as she cradled her arm. “I’m sorry I even brought it up.”

“Are you alright?” Coconut asked.

“Think I might have broken it. Hurts like a sonofabitch,” Velvet said. “So what, we run? Like, now?”

“If we run, they’ll mortar us for sure,” I said. “Or follow us until they run us down. No… we’re stuck.”

We sat and waited for the slavers to crest the ridge. It was all we could do. We were broken up and beaten down. I failed to see how this was going to help anyone if we couldn’t even free any slaves.

“HALT!” a voice shouted from the upper ridge. “WHO DARES VENTURE INTO THE TERRITORY OF THE RAIDER QUEEN?!”

I blinked. Raider Queen? I thought as I tried to focus on the pony standing on the upper ridge. Her voice was clearly feminine, beyond the obvious name of “Raider Queen”, but I couldn’t really make out her face or coloring due to the strange tribal armor she was wearing. Spikes and gore jutted from every angle of her armor.

“The Raider Queen!”

“I heard she devours her victims whole and then spits out the bones!”

“I heard she eats meat!”

“We eat meat too, you dumbass!”

“I mean, like pony meat!”

Whatever she was, she was a lifesaver to us. The slavers, even with their mortar gun, seemed to be genuinely afraid of her. Except for their leader, who I was able to pick out standing next to the caravan with the mortar launcher, a unicorn with a mercenary look to him. My eyes widened as I realized I recognized him from before we’d left the city of Chicacolt and Equestria. Iron fucking Comet.

“Oh fuck,” I said. “Not him.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are up there?” Iron Comet shouted at the unknown pony. “This is our caravan and our slaves, so you can just fuck right off!”

“YOU WILL TURN BACK OR PERISH AT THE HOOVES OF THE RAIDER QUEEN!” the unknown pony shouted. “MY FORCES WAIT AT MY COMMAND TO TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!”

“Well I got a mortar launcher that says otherwise!” Iron Comet called back. “What do you got?”

“CORRECTION! YOU HAD A MORTAR LAUNCHER!” the unknown mare called out, lifting her hoof.

Out of nowhere a blast of magical energy struck the mortar launcher, setting it on fire. Iron Comet’s eyes widened as he jumped away from the caravan before it exploded. The explosion cracked a massive hole in the side of the cage, allowing the slaves to crawl out to freedom. As they did, the slavers tried to rally them back up but were obviously shaken by the so-called Raider Queen.

“YES, RUN! RUN FOR THE HILLS YOU PATHETIC SWINE! THIS IS THE TERRITORY OF THE RAIDER QUEEN!” the mare catcalled.

The slavers scattered as more energy blasts struck the camp. Many of them that stopped to fight back were struck down into smoking heaps. As the scene unfolded, the mystery mare from the upper ridge disappeared. I couldn’t track where she went.

Iron Comet fled up the ridge, shouting and cursing as he tried to get his slavers to stand their ground. He skidded to a stop in front of us, groaning loudly.

“Oh… fuck. Not you guys again,” he said.

“Iron Comet,” I said. “I thought we’d never see you again.”

“That was you guys that were attacking my caravan? Fuck. You know, if you’da said something, we could have worked things out, business like, you know?” the gray unicorn replied.

“I don’t know about that,” Lightning said, stepping forward. “Just what are you doing all the way out here outside of Equestria?”

“What does it look like? Making money. Gotta make money somehow. Couldn’t really get it done in Chicacolt, besides I never got actually paid from that job for you bozos,” Iron Comet said. “If you’re here, you must have caught up to Xerves, right?”

“Xerves is dead,” I said sullenly. “I killed him.”

“Oh. Well. Shit,” Iron Comet said. “Guess that means I’m definitely not getting paid now. And now with all those slaves gone… fuck me in the ass.”

I rolled my eyes and growled. “Look. I don’t know exactly what’s going on here, but what the fuck just actually happened?”

“Oh, you mean the Raider Queen? I’ve run into her a few times now. That’s why we scrounged up that mortar launcher, fat good it did us,” Iron Comet said. “She apparently runs this territory. Breaks up any operation trying to run here. Nopony knows what she looks like, or who she is, but she’s backed up by real firepower.”

“Look, we really just want to know if you know anything about a slave town that’s supposed to be in this area,” Coconut intervened. “You tell us what you know, and we’ll let you leave with your head intact. Sound like a good deal?”

“Oh no. If you remember right, that’s not how this works, Steel Ranger,” Comet snarfed. “You owe me remember? I gave you a freebie. I told you where Xerves went.”

“It’s important that you tell us what you know about the town,” I said, taking a step forward, my horn glowing softly. “Before things get out of hand.”

“Starry, calm down. Remember what we talked about,” Coconut said. “If you kill him, we won’t get the information we need.”

“Kill me? Why would you kill me? I didn’t do anything to you guys this time,” Comet said, groaning loudly.

“Then perhaps you’d better start talking,” I said, stalking behind him, my horn continuing to glow. I was getting impatient.

“Look. I don’t know anything about a slave town, alright? It’s a myth. One of the other slavers was talking about it,” Comet said angrily. “So if you just let me go, I’ll be on my way and out of your hair.”

“Are you sure you don’t know anything?” I asked inside his ear, nearly spooking the poor stallion to death.

“I swear!” he shouted.

“He’s telling the truth,” Velvet said. “I can feel it. He doesn’t know where the town is.”

I sneered at Iron Comet. There was a twinge in my mind. I didn’t like this stallion, at all. I really wanted to smack him around, maybe kill him. I blinked. That was strange. Was I feeling something or was it just what my brain associated Iron Comet with? I couldn’t tell the difference.

“Fine,” I said. “Get out of here. Before I change my mind.”

Iron Comet grimaced before nodding. “You guys better be careful if you plan on going any further in. That Raider Queen, she’ll do you in too.”

“We’ll take that under consideration,” Coconut said. “Now get out of here.”

“CLICK.”

Iron Comet growled under his breath and ran off, scampering towards where his slaver friends ran off to. I sighed loudly.

“Tell me again why we let him live?” I asked as I returned to the others.

“I’m very proud of you for restraining yourself,” Coconut said, patting me on the shoulder. “Besides, he didn’t know anything.”

“I know. So what was that? The Raider Queen? It seemed like a big joke,” I asked.

“I don’t know, but if Iron Comet was right about anything, we’ll find out soon enough,” Lightning said. “Come on, let’s search the remains of the camp for any supplies, then move on.”

We trudged down the exploded ridge towards the camp, grunting under the pain of our minor injuries. Coconut had wrapped Velvet’s leg, indicating that it had indeed been broken under the stress of the explosion. She limped along painfully, using her magic to help pick through the wreckage.

The caravan itself was decimated by the destruction of the mortar launcher. There were even a few dead slaves inside the wagon, but it was impossible to tell if it was the explosion that had killed them or if they had already been dead. Regardless, the rest of the slaves were gone, nopony was around to tell us.

We found very little in the way of medical supplies or food, but replenished our ammunition easily. It seemed the slavers weren’t terribly interested in keeping their slaves alive. When all was said and done, we headed back up the ridge and back into the valley, heading towards the red blip on my PipBuck’s automap. That still didn’t tell us if the town was actually there, but it was a start.

We walked for an hour before Velvet started to complain about pain in her leg. Coconut sat with her for several moments, double checking the setting before sighing loudly.

“She needs better medical attention than I can give,” she said. “If we don’t find this town soon, we may have to amputate the leg.”

“Amputate? Like what, cut my fucking leg off?” Velvet said. “Fucking Celestia. I really am a bug.”

“Nobody’s cutting your leg off yet,” Coconut said. “But we need to get you something like a health potion or anything that would help the leg heal better before it gets worse.”

“According to the map, it’s still several hours off from where Grass Roots told us the Heartmender went to,” I said. “Do we even think she can make that far?”

“Doubtful. Not walking at least. We may have to rig up something to carry her, and that’s if the infection doesn’t get worse,” Coconut said.

“Hello, I’m right here. Click can carry me, right?” Velvet said.

“CLICK.”

“That is… an option,” Coconut said.

“HALT! YOU ARE IN THE TERRITORY OF THE RAIDER QUEEN! LEAVE OR BE ANNIHILATED!” a loud voice shouted from slightly further up the valley.

I turned and my eyes widened. It was the same unknown mare from before. She stood in the shadows, lifting her hoof to the sky.

“Or maybe we ask her for help,” I said.

“The Raider Queen? Are you fucking mad?” Velvet said. “You know what raiders are, right? She knows what raiders are, right?”

“I agree, perhaps we should move on,” Rocky said. “We’ve witnessed already the damage this one can do.”

“Um, Rock. She’s standing exactly in the way we need to go,” Lightning interrupted.

“Then we go back the way we came and go around her territory,” Coconut said.

“Agreed. She’s gonna fucking eat us if we don’t,” Velvet said. “Raiders are fucking crazy sick. I know, I worked with a bunch of them.”

“Fuck it, I’m gonna go talk to her,” I said, sitting up and heading to the lower part of the valley before the so-called Raider Queen.

“HALT RIGHT THERE! YOU ARE IN MY TERRITORY! I AM THE DREADED RAIDER QUEEN AND YOU WILL OBEY ME!” the mare shouted.

“Yeah, hey listen… we’re not invaders or intruders, so whatever act it is you’re playing, I don’t believe it. One of our friends is hurt, seriously injured, you know. She broke her leg and its infected. We’re looking for a town that’s nearby,” I called out. “Do you know it?”

The mare stopped for a moment, almost as if she were pondering my words. Finally she lifted into the air. Wait, she lifted into the air? She’s a fucking PEGASUS?! I thought, my brain screaming as she soared down towards us.

“Great, now you’ve done and pissed her off!” Velvet shouted. “We should probably run now.”

My eyes widened as the mare in the gory, gleaming armor landed on the ground in front of us. With a flash she took her helmet off, revealing a beautiful multicolored mane and a lime green face covered in some form or war paint. Her eyes glanced over at Velvet and at the rest of us.

“I have medical supplies,” she said. “It should be able to help stabilize her leg until we can get her to town.”

I blinked. “Okay…”

“Do you want my help or not? We have to be quick about this. Nopony should see me out here without the getup on,” the mare replied.

“Oh, so we’re not going to die? I’m okay with this,” Velvet said from behind us.

“Please, if you can help, it would be appreciated,” Coconut said.

The mare nodded succinctly, pushing past me to walk over to where Velvet sat. She picked at a saddlebag that had been stuffed up underneath the shoulder blades, pulling out several potions. Coconut gingerly took them from her and began giving them to Velvet.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Did you just say ‘get her to town’?”

“Well, yeah. We need to have a doctor look at her,” the mare said, sighing loudly.

I blinked again and turned, focusing on the mare’s appearance. My eyes widened as I realized I’d seen this mare before. In fact, this singular pony was the entire reason why we were in this hellhole beyond Equestria. The very reason we’d trekked across the desert, come through the Badlands, and why we’d left Chicacolt in the very first place.

It was her.

“I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name beyond Miss ‘Raider Queen’,” I said.

“Oh, sorry. That’s just a bit of an act I put on. Helps scare ponies away from the town that aren’t wanted, like those slavers,” the mare said with a smile.

She reached up and brushed away some of her face paint, the lime green of her face coming through instantly. Her dirty mane fell in curls around her face, but I knew instantly that I was right. It was her.

“My name’s Heartshine. What’s yours?”

Author's Notes:

Well, now we've hit a pretty big apex of this story, the first introduction of Heartshine. I can only hope that I'm doing her character some justice with this.

If you like what you've read here, and want to see more, than hit me up over on Patreon! I do regular book giveaways and other things for patrons!