I sat in my office going through some guard applicants. "Celestia...are we taking griffons?" I shifted to a picture of a blue feathered griffon with a missing feather centered on his head. "Celestia--"

"Why's this one a different color?" Celestia walked over with a folder. "Able, why is this one a different color?"

I looked back at her. "What? Its just a folder--"

"No, the human." She levitated the file over my head and held it for me. "This human is dark--"

"Oh my god--" I broke out laughing and slammed my head on my desk. "Oh my god! Ah-ha!" I clutched my chest as I started to heave. "Jesus--Christ--tehee." I tried to keep from laughing. "Ooooooh fuck!" I slapped my desk and pushed away from the desk. "Celestia-- Oh my god, it's a black guy!" I held my face in my right hand and my ribs in my left. "Celestia...oh my god...."

Celestia cocked her head. "What? What's wrong?"

I took a deep breath and leaned back in my chair. "Celestia...it's just a black guy-- No, that's not even a black guy." I picked up the file and flipped through it. "Nope, he's an American black." I closed the file and tossed it onto my desk. "Man...I used to know a guy from Montreal, he was from Mali or something like that. Maybe Algeria." I scratched my head. "Oh man! He was eighty! If it's-- Oh wow, he'd be...oh man, he'd be ten right now." I rubbed my chin. "Hmm. A lot of older people I knew were born around the millennia. I bet I could go find them." I shrugged. "Food for thought I guess." I rubbed my eyes. "Oh man, but did you really not know what a black was?"

Celestia cocked her head. "I've seen them. I've just never really asked. I've seen ambassadors and such but I never asked why they were different."

I coughed into my wrist. "Wow. Uh, I think its something to do with the sun. Like, the more desertish it is, the darker skin you get.... Something like that, I'm not a DNA doctor." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Probably doesn't help you dropped down in Newfoundland, whitest place on earth." I turned back to my desk. "Oh man.... Celestia, why didn't you ask me sooner?"

Celestia cocked her head. "I didn't think it was that huge a deal--"

"Well...I mean, I'm not a big fan of the French. But they're not really a color." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Still a bunch of cheesy bastard shits."

Celestia scratched her head. "I feel a bit bad now. Did I do something wrong?"

I laughed softly. "Oh no...no...." I stood up and turned to her. I held my arms out and wrapped her up in a soft hug. "Oh no...it's okay." I ran my hands through her mane and held her. "You're just racist...it's okay...it's okay. Shhh."

Celestia huffed. "You're an ass."

I nodded. "I know. Oh man, I guess I should show you my files." I let go of her and went back to my desk. "We got all sorts of shades of brown and red...and yellow." I flipped through my files. "I don't know, we got colors." I found my file with a young woman from Sri Lanka. "Here, look at this one."

Celestia leaned over my shoulder. "Hmm...." She looked at me. "So...it has to do with heat. So you're a snowpony?"

I took a deep breath and closed up my file. "I am an ice human." I turned to face Celestia. "What about you?"

Celestia looked down at herself. "I don't know. I suppose I could make a spell and we could find out." She stamped her hoof. "But really, did I do something bad?"

"Did you call a black guy a nigger?"

Celestia shook her head.

"Call an Asian a chink?"

She shook her head again.

"Called a native a savage?"

She shook her head yet again.

"Then you're fine." I spun back around to my desk. "Now, are we hiring griffons or not?"