Remember the first episode of Invader Zim, where, upon embarking upon their journey to Earth, Gir exclaims 'I'm gonna sing the doom song now!', and did so... for six months? Well, it turned out that the voice in my head had a 'Stairs' song, and he sang it in a the same dark, evil tone that he did everything else. On that day, I learned a terrible, terrible truth. One known only to those who have had a voice in their head, one that no one truly considers until it happens to them. That truth is this: No matter how annoying the voice in your head is, there is little you can do to silence it.

'I swear', I thought, as we reached the top of the first flight of stairs, 'if you don't shut the motherfucking hell up right this motherfucking second, I will fucking throw myself off this motherfucking spiral staircase and kill us both right fucking now.'

*STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS...*

The worst part? One 'flight' of stairs was over one hundred steps, and it had taken me five minutes to reach the top of the first flight. That meant that I had a good ten minutes before that motherfucker would shut the fuck up. Except that I had a sinking feeling that, once we reached the top, we'd finish our business within five minutes and have to go right back down again.

Fuck. Me.

I decided to try change tactics. I thought at the voice, 'If you don't stop right fucking now, then I swear, I will make it my mission in life to replace all the stairs in the world with ramps. No, better yet, escalators!'

*YOU WOULDN'T DARE!!!*

'And if you really piss me off, then I'll invent the fucking elevator.'

*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!*

'Then either shut up, or SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!'

Only silence followed. I smiled, congratulating myself on my triumph over the voice that only I could hear.

"What are you scheming?" Ladyhawke asked, walking beside me. Surprisingly, the stairs were large enough, and wide enough, for more than twenty ponies to stand shoulder to shoulder and still have room to spare.

Looking over at her with an expression I took pains to keep neutral, lest I freak her out again, I asked, "What makes you think I'm scheming something?"

"You're smiling," Ladyhawke said, flatly. "You only ever smile if you're hurting someone or planning on hurting someone. Or if you're..." Abruptly, she paused, and with an exasperated sigh, she said, "Right, right, I forgot about how you are with stairs."

An eyebrow raised, I asked, "Oh?"

"Oh, is that really true?" Sparkling Sunset asked from my other side. "I'd thought that it was just some kind of a silly rumor."

Taking care not to meet my gaze, Lady said, "It's all true. Even the bit about the little metal coil thingy that can descend stairs all on its own."

*My slinky! They know about my slinky!? What happened to it?! GIVE IT TO ME!!!*

"I'll want that back, by the way" I said, not looking at either of them, and working very hard to keep a straight face. What a delightful development: The voice in my head was actually a part of this dream/hallucination, and was apparently the voice of whoever it was everyone thought I was. So, the more I learned about myself, the more ammunition I'd have to keep the voice of 'King Sombra' quiet.

"It's in a vault in the Crystal Empire," Sunset said, quickly, "Locked away with everything else you owned during your reign." After a moment, she added, "Or at least, that's what I've heard."

"Well, I know what our first stop will be after we're done here," I said, chuckling.

"Hades. Rutting. No." Ladyhawke said, angrily. "The only way you're going anywhere near the Crystal Empire is over my dead body."

"So I guess you won't want me to save your hometown from those two nasty fiends, then?" I asked, putting a hoof to my mouth and putting on a faux-innocent expression. "I kind of thought that was your whole reason for going along with all of this. At least, I thought that was what you said. It would be kind of hard for me to save anyone there if I can't go anywhere near it..."

Words could not possibly do justice to the expression that Ladyhawke gave just then. It was a magical combination of 'Oh Shit' and 'I've Made A Huge Mistake' that, if I'd had a camera with me, I'd have taken a picture and made it into the wallpaper of my computer back home. She had just discovered that 'Never' and 'Must' did not meet on any map, and she'd have to make a choice between one of two equally unpleasant options.

"Didn't think that one through, did you?" I asked, still using my fake innocent question tone.

Her only answer was to glare at me. If looks could kill, it would have reduced my head to its component molecules.

Fun's fun, but I decided to throw her a bone. I chuckled, then said, "Tell you what: You, and all of your friends, did me a solid, bringing me back to life. You all took part in it, even though you all knew of my reputation. Because you brought me back to life, I owe all of you something, above and beyond just going out and fixing the problems currently facing the world. So, this is what I'm going to do: If there's something that you want, it's in my power to grant, and it won't be considered an evil deed, then I'll do it." At Lady's surprised expression, I quickly added, "Just remember, though: Everybody gets one, but only one. If you want another, you'll have to earn it." I felt a slight tingle move through my body, but didn't think anything of it at the time.

Ladyhawke gave me a long, appraising look, then after a moment said, "I want your word that you won't harm a single soul inside of the Crystal Empire, nor will you try to conquer the city like you did last time."

"Deal," I said, immediately. I felt that strange tingle again, but slightly stronger this time.

*Interesting...*

'What?'

*I'm not sure. But something just happened...*

'Would it help if I did it again?'

*Maybe...*

I turned towards the herd of ponies still following me, and said, "I don't know if you all heard what I just said, so I will go ahead and tell all of you right now: I owe each and every one of you a favor, so if it is within my power to grant it, and it is not something considered an act of evil, I will do it for you." I raised a hoof, forestalling the inevitable onrush of requests, I added, "I recommend waiting for a little bit before you start making a request: You only get one, and once you get whatever it is you wanted, you'll have to work very hard to get another chance."

Several ponies who had seemed about to speak paused, then reconsidered whatever it was that they were about to say. Only one of the assembled ponies, a little filly, still seemed interested in making a request. I looked down at her, and asked, "What do you need, little lady?"

The little lady in question, a tiny pink unicorn filly with a bright red mane, and big green eyes, held up a doll and said, "Miss Bubbles has an owie. Can you make her all better?"

Miss Bubbles, the doll in question, had clearly seen better days. She had once been a grey pegasus with a blonde mane and tail, yellow eyes, and a stamp on her flank depicting a cluster of bubbles. Now, however, her mane and tail were reduced to a few ragged patches, one eye was missing, there were several spots that were very clearly scorch marks, and there were several seams coming undone, including a large rip on her underbelly...

This doll had gone through hell and back, and it was nothing short of a miracle that it was still in one piece...

'Well, I'm supposed to be a wizard. Do I have any spells that I can use to fix Miss Bubbles?'

*You are asking me, the greatest wizard of my generation, neigh, the greatest wizard alive today, to help you fix a filly's doll?*

'Can. You. Do. It?' It took all my self-control not to add 'Dipshit' to the end of that sentence...

*Why should I?*

I gently took Miss Bubbles from the little filly's grasp, and looked her over. In spite of her terrible shape, it was clear that the little lady had taken good care of her. Her mane and tail, or what was left of it, anyways, was well brushed, and the 'skin' that was intact was almost painfully clean. This may have been the doll from disaster, but it was a doll that was well-beloved by her owner.

Looking down at the little filly, I asked, "What's your name, little lady?"

"Rosy, Mister King Sombra sir. Rosy Sunrise." With an intensely serious expression, she explained, "It's like the way that the sky looks when the sun is just coming up, and the birds start singing, and the roosters starts going 'cockadoodledo', and everything is right in the world." Dammit, that sounded adorable from a five year old girl. She looked up at me with those gigantic eyes of hers, full of hope...

Why the fuck are fillies' eyes so damn big? It's like they take up fifty percent of their face! Back home, horses have eyes not all that much bigger than a human's. Here, the ponies had these gigantic eyeballs that defied explanation... and damned if it didn't make them irresistibly adorable. Still, by all rights, they ought to be able to see through time, or into men's souls...

'Remember how Sparkling Sunset said that she'd had to gather up several war orphans to make up the one hundred and eight she needed?'

*I do...*

'She's one of them.' I looked the doll over, and then added, 'And this may be the only thing she has left of her parents.'

*...Alright. So, you need a spell to fix the doll?*

I smiled, and thought, 'No, she asked to make Miss Bubbles all better. So, we can't just fix her. We have to make her better in every possible way. This doll has been through the wringer. I think she might need an upgrade, at least in terms of durability, or we might have to fix her again later.'

*Agreed. I know just the thing. Just touch the doll to our horn, and I'll take it from there.*

I did so, and felt... well, it's difficult to put into words. I felt something move through my body, and into my forehead. I suddenly became aware of my horn, and suddenly, there was a bright flash of light...

When my vision cleared, I was holding the doll, but...

It looked brand new. I mean, as if it had come right off an assembly line or as if someone had just finished hand-stitching it together...

*That's what an 'Origin' spell does: It returns things to their original state. I also made a few modifications to the original design. The thread wasn't very high quality, nor was the cloth. I used an enhancement spell to improve both. I also enhanced the durability of the component materials. That doll will, provided it is well cared for, last long enough to be passed on to her great-great-grandchildren, if not longer.*

I noted the cheerfully grinning face of the doll. 'The eyes are a little wonky.'

*That's the way they were originally. If I fixed those, I think that the doll would lose some of its charm.*

I gave the doll a final examination, and found I could not disagree. Passing it back to the little filly, I said, "Here you go, Rosy. Good as new, but better."

The little filly gazed upon the newly repaired doll as if it was the best thing ever, only better, and to her, I suppose it was. With an almost religious reverence, she took it gently from my hoof... and then hugged it.

This time, instead of a tingle, the feeling that shot through my body was like I'd just stuck my tongue in an electical outlet (Not something I ever wanted to experience twice, even if I did get fifty bucks for doing so, along with temporarily gaining the ability to taste colors). While brief, the feeling of pure power that rocked through my body was... incredible. Sadly, it was also incredibly brief...

*Amazing...*

'What just happened?' Rosy suddenly began doing an adorable dance of joy while holding her doll aloft, grinning like a child who'd been given the keys to the candy store...

*I'm not certain. There's some sort of link, not just between you and that filly, or even just you and Ladyhawke, but between you and every one of those mares and fillies who aided in our restoration. The ritual was steeped in blood magic, and blood magic, in addition to being ridiculously powerful, has a habit of creating bonds between others. When you made a promise to do something in return for having helped restore your life, you strengthened that link. When you cemented what your act of recompense would be, it strengthened it further. But when you followed through on that action...*

'It strengthened that link to the utmost?'

*Yes. Only...*

'Only what?'

*Nevermind. I can't say anything more until we have more information.*

Rosy started hugging my leg, exclaiming her thanks, joy, eternal love, devotion, and a vow that when she was all grown up, she'd marry me, double marry me, and then turbo marry me just to be sure it stuck, and finished it by calling me the nicest stallion ever, forever, times infinity. I had the good grace not to look embarrassed by the ridiculous outflow of affection, but the looks I was getting from the assembled mares didn't make it easy. Funny thing was, the looks were a mix of amusement and admiration. I suppose that, having done something genuinely nice, they might be just a little bit less afraid of me now...

I decided to let the matter drop. 'Fair enough.'

I rubbed the little filly atop her head, then picked her up gently, and placed her atop my back. "Alright little lady, let's get moving. We have places to go." I turned around, and found myself face to face with the archon. I almost gave a very undignified yelp in shock, but stifled it at the last instant. How the hell that thing had gotten behind me, I have no idea, but there it was, staring at me, like...

Well, it's difficult to read the emotions on something with no face, but there wasn't any hostility there, or at least, that was how it felt. Instead, it felt like an intense scrutiny, like when it was reassessing me earlier, but increased to the twenty-fifth power. After a moment, it said, "This way... sir," then turned around and began marching up the steps again. The archon's dull monotone was unchanged, and yet, it almost seemed like, instead of the very subtle hints of mockery that had colored its previous statements, there was a slight flavor of...

I dunno. Respect? Admiration? Maybe it just didn't think I was a complete idiot anymore? Regardless, we still had places to go and things to do. I began following the archon, as did the mares. I noticed the odd looks that I was getting from Sparkling Sunset and Ladyhawke, but maintained my calm exterior... even if there was a little filly hugging my neck like I was the world's most sinister teddy bear.

As we ascended the steps, I reflected on one thing: I'd gotten a sort of crash course on magic, when the voice in my head, or rather, Sombra, had used magic a moment ago. I couldn't say that I could use magic yet, but I'd gotten a feeling for how I might be able to start experimenting with it later...