Ava was curled up on one of the benches of Drebin’s Stryker as the intrepid green-collar drove his private armored home through an indistinguishable void, the radio playing some ridiculously unfittingly cheerful reggae music as Little Gray examined the IV bag she was draining the mutagen in her mandibles into, beings she was in her Verdugo form. “Hair hid hoo het ah ight late at its ee?”

“Don’t be asking me that. My girl just gives me what I need for the situation in her tool drawer. I’ve long ago accepted Stryker’s odd quirks, like her endless vending machine that accepts any currency I put in and disturbingly dispenses whatever I want if I know the code for it.” Drebin-893 answered, interrupting his singing along with the song, and making her realize she hadn’t even noticed he was singing, he was that spot-on with the song.

“Anyhing?” Ava asked curiously as the IV bag filled, and Little Gray gestured for her to stop, so she opened her mandibles and handed the bite plate and funnel end of the IV tube to the monkey, that smartly twisted the tube closed with the valve, and ambled his new prize over to a small fridge next to the vending machine to put it away, and then jumping on top of the tiny fridge where a pet bed was. “That is one smart monkey.”

“Don’t let his appearance fool you. Little Gray is as strong and smart as ten men. I think the only reason he doesn’t speak is because he doesn’t see the point.” Drebin said as he turned off his stereo. “We’re about to get a little bumpy, grab onto something.” Ava wisely did so as she shifted back into her shapely hematite crystal mare form, and was suddenly wishing she waited a moment as the Stryker jumped like it just hit a small hill and sent her huge basketball-boobs bouncing out of her corset’s cups.

“Talk about a rough-rider! Why the sudden harsh jump?” Ava asked as she used the hand not holding the pole next to the bench to stabilize her quaking breasts.

“Stryker exits the Void a few feet off the ground when she’s going places she’s not been to yet. Makes a rather loud entrance, but from then on, any time she exits within a few miles of a place she’s been, it’s a smooth transition.” Drebin informed as he worked the wheel and Ava was glad she was still holding onto the pole as the armored vehicle jerked and jumped across uneven ground. “There, here’s as close as I can get without the Crystal Guard spotting me, the rest you’ll have to cover on foot.”

“Thanks for the ride Drebin, but before I go, seriously, what do you mean that vending machine dispenses anything?” Ava asked as she stood on slightly shaking legs once the armored beast called a vehicle came to a complete stop.

“I mean what I said.” Drebin cheekily grinned as he came back from the cockpit and patted the front of the unusually compact and opaque-faced vending machine. “It has all 26 letters of the English alphabet, and all 10 numbers from 0 to 9. I could be feeding it bits or bills and punching random codes all day, but I’ll never find out all the things this darling thing dispenses. I’m just thankful A1 gives Narc.”

“But if that’s all the code takes, doesn’t-.” Drebin interrupted her but putting a bit in the rather large coin slot, and punching in a random series of letters, numbers, more letters, and then pressed enter, resulting in a wet-sounding thunk in the rather large flap-covered dispenser chute, and Drebin reached in to pull out a...a...what? “What the hell is that?”

“No idea! Isn’t it great?” Drebin held up what seemed to be a raw sort of...alien fish? “Don’t worry though, this thing keeps track of what entered codes dispense. This thing is called...a Garryfish? Hm, not a very creative name.” Drebin pouted at the large touch-screen above the keypad as he tossed the large tan and brown striped fish with stalk-like eyes to Little Gray, who caught it and quickly tossed it in the small fridge without a care. “Oh well, it seems edible, I’ll be finding out at dinner, been craving fish actually.”

“Wow! But...how does that help you supply customers? I mean, it’s clear that thing provides food for money, so you sell stuff to get money to get stuff like a normal person...sort of.” Ava asked curiously as she looked at what seemed to be a this-for-that grab-bag machine, and considering it just dispensed an alien fish the size of a mid-sized dog, that left a lot of possibilities. “Especially considering the exchange rate.”

“Ah, that’s the beauty of the thing. This touch screen has a comprehensive alphabetized and categorized menu for memorized codes. So if I want more of that fish, it will be under G, then under fauna, aquatic fauna, vertebrates, so on. However, just using the memorized code increases the cost of the item to a suitably fair price, but if I just manually enter the code, it’ll still only cost one bit, dollar, etc.” Drebin explained, before leering at the machine. “But. To get a new code for something specific, I can actively search for an item, but if I don’t have the item code already, I have to pay much more to unlock it. For instance, if I wanted, it could actually search for Plaga Mutagen, but considering the nature and value of such a thing, this machine would bleed me dry before giving me the code.”

“Thus why it even had so much value to get it from me.” Ava nodded in understanding. “But that still means, by an impossibly small chance, you could one day get the code just randomly putting in bits and pressing buttons.”

“Yes, but that’s such a waste of money.” Drebin said seriously with a nod of his head. “Sure, I do it when I have plenty of cash to spare, but I’m still only in the...drat, where…?” Drebin touched the screen a few times. “A5000s.”

Ava whistled at the large number. “Damn. So you have to offload some things or….” Ava led into, getting Drebin to sigh and nod.

“Yes, as much as I would like to think Stryker has an infinite storage, she doesn’t like her lockers and drawers filled with all sorts of random junk. She gets testy when I do that, so I have to sell things I can’t keep. Anyway, we’re here.” Drebin gestured to the rear bay door that lowered to reveal freezing cold tundra.

“What? In a hurry to get rid of me?” Ava snarked with a beatific grin as she put on her bandanna and pushed her boobs fully back into her corset, pulling her red silk shirt back down under the black leather until it outlined her bosom again.

“Somewhat. From what I know, this place’s Guards are very efficient, and I’d rather not have angry crystal ponies demanding what I am and what I’m doing here. So off with you. I’m looking forward to doing business with you again however, so stay in touch.” Drebin grinned as Ava waved to him while she went down the ramp, and in short order, the ramp closed back up over the rear of the Stryker, and the metal beast roared as she drove away, vanishing into thin air.

“That is one cool guy. Now then, where did...he...oh fuck no….” Ava whispered in disbelief as she looked up into the sky, craning her neck at the tallest structure she’d ever seen on this planet. “We’re not in Kansas Toto….”

It was like some lazy ass took a giant cardboard cutout of the Emerald City from the Return to Oz, and posted it on a billboard to make it look like it was really off in the distance. Only it was actually there! And fairly close too. “All that’s missing is the spotlights and the Yellow Brick Road.”

Ava shrugged, figuring it wasn’t the strangest thing that could happen in the multiverse, and proceeded to trot onwards.

[ $ ]

“What do you mean I need traveling papers?” Ava demanded of the two emerald-green armored guards that actually had more police-like armor than others she’d seen in this world, it even had ECGD stamped onto the pauldrons. They’d hailed her at the entrance to the city, and had immediately asked for her passport, which, of course, Ava didn’t have.

“What I mean, ma’am, is that the guards in Seam should’ve processed you and given you identification papers at the border. If you don’t have any this far into the country, I’m afraid we’ll have to detain you until we can have this sorted out.” The mare of the two; a rather sincere mare of intriguingly short stature at barely cresting 5 feet and an interestingly slate gray coloration of gem said with a clearly upset demeanor over the situation, her incredibly radiant purple eyes were nothing but honest.

“So yeah, sorry babe, but we’re gonna have to hustle ya.” The orange crystal stallion with the green eyes shrugged noncommittally, getting a slug from the mare to his lightly muscled bicep, the surprisingly lithe stallion grinning happily at the reproachful look the mare gave him. “But no, seriously. We’re gonna have to arrest you while we get you processed and have a passport made.”

“Ugh, fine. I swear. What is with me and having trouble with the law on accident all the time?” Ava groused as she held out her wrists and the guards snorted in amusement and just gestured her to follow them through the gate as a couple of other guards took their post. “What? Not gonna clap me in irons? Throw me in a barred carriage?”

“I don’t know where you’re from miss, but we don’t do those sort of things if we don’t have to.” The petite mare replied. “If anything, knowing guards do that as standard practice elsewhere is disturbing.”

“Yeah, up here we’ve got ‘Due Process’ for everything. We only resort to harsher measures if the circumstances require it.” The stallion added on as they approached a sort of police box with solid opaque sapphire walls that made it stick out like a sore blue thumb in the primarily emerald city. “Just step inside miss, you’ll be popped out at the local guard precinct.”

“Uh….” Ava blushed, embarrassed as she realized something. “Um...don’t you have any...wider boxes?” Ava asked with a raging red overtaking her liquid black face. ‘Oh gog, my boobs are too wide! How do the beefy stallions squeeze in these things?!’

“Yes, but they’re a bit further away, this is one of the older boxes, but you’ll just have to live with the cramped space for just a moment miss.” The petite guard mare said with an apologetic and earnest tone.

“Well we could take the time to trot to one of the other boxes, but I’d rather not. So get squeezing miss chesty.” The stallion snickered, getting another punch to the arm from his partner.

‘I swear, those two have to be mates or something.’ Ava mentally commented before sighing, and grunting as she shoved her heaving chest into the tiny sapphire box, blushing at the sensation of her bosom being compressed as she squeezed all the way into it. “Ow, okay, I’m-

-in?” Ava ended in a bemused tone at suddenly not having her boobs squeezed and standing in a sapphire room with pads spread about and signs at each one naming cross streets as she took a step off her pad. “That’s a really smooth teleporter, smoother even than New-U, but then again New-U has a more complicated setup.”

“You gonna move?” Came the stallion guard’s voice from behind her, getting Ava to yelp and jump away and turn in time to see the stallion trail after and his partner to seamlessly trot in as if she just walked through a door. “Sorry for surprising you, but the box system doesn’t let anyone through if there’s something on the pad.”

“Well now that we’re not in public, let me introduce us, since we’re the guards handling your case. I’m Selene Night. Yes, it’s a pun on Selenite, the crystal I resemble.” Selene beamed at Ava as she trotted ahead, Ava following as her yet-to-be-named partner brought up the rear.

“Well if we’re being friendly, name’s Carnelian, or Carne for short.” Carne said, and Ava shivered, resisting jumping his bones upon realizing that his name, and once she paid notice; essence, was that of Creativity, Sexuality, Courage, and Vitality. Now that the sly ass wasn’t annoying her, he was suddenly very attractive to her on levels beyond his physical body.

‘Holy crap, is it because his body itself is similar to carnelian? He could be a priest of Fertility if I had followers...no, no. Calm down Ava, save being worshiped properly for when you finish getting Vaga’s Chaos Aspect.’ “I’m Ava, short for Avarice, no surname, no permanent address, nothing save this.” Ava said as she took off her left glove, holding up her Royal Signet Ring, getting Carne to snatch her wrist and examine it gravely.

“Moony, we’ve got a VIP here.” Carne seriously stated as he held Ava’s displayed ring to his partner, getting the mare to sigh.

“Great...well, you’re still going to have to sit in a room instead of a cell while we get you checked out and processed miss. If you’d shown us that earlier, we’d have hurried this along more.” Selene groused worriedly as she picked up the pace through the guard precinct which had surprisingly few quill scratchers sitting at desks and more guards actually moving through, many of which either gawked or managed to politely look away from the chesty goddess of fertility as she was guided through.

“That’s just fine, so long as I stay out of a cell...never again, ever, if I can help it….” Ava shuddered in fear, memories of her cell haunting her before she calmed down and replaced the Recall with all the raunchy thoughts of Sharp instead.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure-.”

“Night! Carnelian! In my office!” Bellowed a loud and intimidating baritone from somewhere in the building, and it caused every single guard to go ramrod straight, before Ava’s companions quickly shoved her off onto a surprisingly plump stallion at a desk and rushed off.

“Wow, Chief Trabucco sounds furious.” Commented the hefty stallion as he moved a sort of ancient telephone-like device away from himself, moving switches on a massive switchboard on his desk around. Swarovski was on the name plaque of his desk, making Ava blink at the odd name. “Well, seems unless a guard can escort you-.” The stallion flicked a switch, and suddenly Ava yelped at being forcibly gravitated to a floor-mounted stool in front of the portly yellow crystal stallion’s odd desk. “You get to keep me company. Coordinator Swarovski.” The fat stallion jovially greeted with an outstretched hand.

“Uh...Ava. I’d say pleasure to meet you, but the circumstances are rather iffy.” Ava replied as she shook his soft hand. ‘Wow, I’m so used to healthy and fit people these days. So fat folks are still a thing? Considering he has a desk job, I guess so.’ “You adjusted really fast to suddenly having to, ow, watch over me.” Ava commented as she shifted uncomfortably on the stool, her soft but firm plot being pressed into the seat by whatever enchantment had latched onto her rear and forced her to sit.

“I just told you I am a Coordinator. I have eyes and ears, and a voice almost anywhere within the immediate public under the protection of this precinct. I saw and heard what was going on since you arrived at the south gate, and reported directly to Chief Trabucco when your direct affiliation with the Royal Sisters was proven by your ring and their essences infused into it registered.” Swarovski replied as he fished a...donut...from one of his desk drawers. “Just as well, earned me a break so Ikarov can have a turn watching things for a bit.”

“Why are your names so...different?” Ava asked curiously, and Swarovski chuckled amiably as he nommed on his powdered confection.

“We live near the Yakslovian border here in the Emerald City, some of their naming conventions carried over before they suddenly declared isolationism last year.” Swar informed before scarfing down a chocolate donut.

“Well, alright then. But why did the boss yank them into his office?” Ava asked as she pulled down her bandana and hood to get more air, it was warm inside the building unlike outside.

“Likely because-.” *SLAM* Trabucco’s office door slammed open with Selene and Carne despondently walking out with an utterly HUGE sapphire crystal stallion with a soul patch and shaved mane holding open his door, his armor barely straining to hold in his hulking mass of muscle.

“And you keep that VIP under watch!” Trabucco shouted after the two before he slammed his door shut, making everypony flinch.

“Uh...well, as you can guess miss, we’re your escorts until you’ve been fully processed.” Selene nervously updated as Swarovski thankfully deactivated the enchantment squeezing Ava’s plot to the stool, letting her get up and rub her sore bum.

“That is to say; we’re to keep an eye on you and prevent you from leaving the city until you’ve got a full legal passport to come and go within the country.” Carne added on, and Ava sighed.

‘Great...I get to have two cute little spies watching me as I try to work. Swell.’

Author's Notes:

I deeply apologize for the wait! Life has been so busy! Busy, busy, busy! I figured getting a job would've freed up some time from job hunting, nope! It made it worse!

This job, it sucks, it barely pays my rent, my keyboard's breaking after years of devoted servitude, my gamepad too, and no money for either.

Also, it's hot in here the Mohave.